Flowers and dresses and bridesmaids oh my!

Bridal boutiques are weird.

Pink light blue and white coloured walls with flowers all around as well as books with pictures of other people‘s weddings. A place where you can choose what you want for your wedding while being bombarded by ideas from other people. Originality is truly dead. And this is where Alicia Lukas finds herself. A place where she has been many times before in her life. Not only for herself but also for friends and family.

Twice before Alicia has been married, twice before she’s had to go through the planning. She understands what she is looking for and what she wants but at the same time, she’s over it. Sick and tired of all of the pageantry, sick and tired of having to pick out everything from colors to a theme, bridesmaids' dresses, wedding dresses, and flowers. All of it felt like a colossal waste of time. She knew she wanted to marry Austin, she loved him, she had been through this whole thing with weddings before so why did she want to go through it again when all she wanted to do was live a life with the man she loved?

Family, family, and friends. They wanted to celebrate their love and Austin seemed to be all for it. So Alicia was not going to rob him of that. She was going to Smile and do everything she could to make it a wedding that they would both remember.

So here she was, sitting in a bridal boutique in New York City. Accompanied by her sister and maid of honor Zoey as well as her bridesmaids Kallie Reznik and her childhood friend Bianca. The four women laughed as they flicked through books while trying to find ideas. ”Look at this one. It looks like a fucking cupcake threw up on it.”

”Oh that's pretty!” Zoey shot Kallie a horrified look, her long blonde hair was tied back as she wore a black leather biker jacket, and tight black jeans with a chain that goes from a belt loop at the front to the back. Alicia is dressed similarly to her sister as Kallie and Bianca are both dressed in regular jeans and t-shirts.

Alicia shakes her head and grabs hold of the book before turning it toward the girls with a smile ”These are the dresses that I want to get. And don’t worry Kallie…. I’m going to get you a dress that gives you a little extra space around the midsection.”

Kallie smiles and nods, before she can say anything though Zoey pops up. ”The Australian got you pregnant again? Already? Tell him to get a fucking hobby.”

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh, Kallie narrowed her eyes. ”Alicia, did you get her address? That is a little wider around the shoulders to accommodate her?”

Zoey raised her eyebrows and stepped forward, folding her arms over her chest before letting out a laugh and padding Kallie on the shoulder. ”Damn you got snarky….”

Kallie smiled and gave a small shrug as Zoey backed away. Alicia let out a deep breath and made a few notes in the notebook that was sitting next to her about the flowers and the dresses. ”You’d think after I’ve already done this twice that I’d be better at it. But the truth is I have no idea what I want to do.”

”But weddings are so fun and magical and beautiful and it’s a celebration of your love with Austin.”

”You could always just have your wedding on one of the shows. Then it would dissolve into a bunch of brawls and chair throwing. You should do that, that sounds amazing.”

Alicia shook her head and smiled ”I already joked with Austin about that. It’s why we’re not going to have Alex and Finn anywhere near each other…. or Aaron and Kayla”

Zoey rolls her eyes ”Aaron and Kayla fighting in high heels? Shit that would be entertaining not to mention the fact that Kallie would be freaking out.” Zoey points at Kallie who frowns and pouts.

”I don’t want there to be a murder at my wedding Zoey….”

”It wouldn’t be that bad…”

”No…it would be…Kayla told me she’d throw Aaron off a bridge….”

Alicia shakes her head again as Zoey smiles. Meanwhile, Bianca who had been quiet this entire time looks horrified at the other three.

”What is wrong with you people?”

Alicia sighs heavily and sits back. Bianca wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to the world that these three came from. Alicia realized that it was going to be a big job having to cross her lives together. People from outside the wrestling business as well as everyone inside. She took a deep breath and grabbed her notepad standing up and folding her arms over her chest.

”It’s okay, I’ll figure it out. But this day has to be good. I owe it to Austin.”

A bad Martial Arts film.

”No, I’m not happy with how my Blast from the past campaign ended…”

Alicia closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Her teeth grind together as she looks away from the camera. Almost as if she would be struggling to make eye contact with any of us while watching the promo from the comfort of our own homes.

”I lost. Not only did I lose a loss to one person in this company that I despise. I despise her attitude and I despise who she is. I went against her and I failed. And I have no one to blame myself. You know, I’ve always made a big deal about how people handle losses in this company. So many of you will lose a big match and then pop up the next time we see you like nothing is wrong. Like it’s just another day at the office. But I need to practice what I preach and I’m gonna be completely honest with every single one of you right now. I’m angry at myself for losing that match.”

“I’m angry at myself for throwing away a perfect opportunity. And losing to that woman, failing to beat her, and getting eliminated by Micah makes me sick. Because I should’ve beaten her. I should have been able to put that bitch in the ground where she belongs and I should have been able to go on to the final of the blast from the past and walk away the winner. Instead, I let it all slip through my fingers and I ended up failing. And for someone like me failure is Like dying inside. Failure is something that I’m not used to. For years I was looked at as the gold standard in women’s professional wrestling but in the last few years at least I have become a joke.”

“The punchline….”

“Much like Micah. But the difference between myself and that arrogant bitch is that when I failed I picked myself up and came right back to work. Now that tournament is over I’m still here and I’m still ready to go. Meanwhile, she’s packed up and gone back to Hawaii. Just like we all said she would. And that’s what you get when you let someone like her come back into the company. She uses the blast from the past as an opportunity to try and jump the line and then instead of earning her position in the company she just leaves. That hasn’t happened with me. And if I had got to that final I damn sure wouldn’t have done what she didn’t threw it all away.”

Alicia starts to get angry, you can see it in her eyes and her body language. You can see it in the way she carries herself herself.

”If I got through to that final I would’ve faced Frankie Holiday and Laura Phoenix. I would’ve solved the riddle of Frankie holiday and I would’ve bitch slapped Laura Phoenix back into her retirement. But I didn’t get that chance because instead my spot was taken up by a woman who couldn’t even be bothered to stick around and be a part of the company that gave her the life that she has now. She has no pride, she has no heart, and I’m still here. I’m still here ready to be the best and to show the world that I’m still relevant. If Mercedes Vargas can do that and beat Bella to become the Internet champion I sure can do something similar…”

“But, to prove that I have to go up against a woman that I haven’t really seen or heard from in years. Song. And this won’t be the first time she and I have faced and it won’t be the last I’m sure, it just happens to be the first time with faced in this company. Song and I have known each other for years but it’s been a very long time since we’ve stepped foot in a ring against each other or even in the same company. She came back and I was injured. Now here I am and I’m ready to get back to work and she is who SCW management has decided I’m going to be facing.”

“And I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, everyone knows who song is. She has been a part of SCW for years and was a major part of honor wrestling.”

“But now, song and I are going to go one on one and try and get that forward momentum moving. The last time we saw a song she was able to pick up a win in a tag team match. But, as far as real momentum goes that isn’t going to help her. Real momentum is facing people weak and weak out at being in the fires of battle. Real momentum is facing the best of the best one on one and overcoming them. Something that Song hasn’t been able to do. Something that she’s not going to be able to do when she faces me.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself and shake her head.

”See, I have certain goals that I want to accomplish. I want to win the bombshell championship won last time, I want to win the Internet championship and the roulette championship since I’ve never held them. I want to be able to recite my career and finish on my own terms instead of going out with a whimper like some of the women in this company. I want to be able to hold my head high and be one of the greatest bombshells this company has ever known. Which, I already am but I want to remind people of it. I don’t want to go out with a whimper. I want to go out with a bang”

“And to accomplish all of this I need to keep winning. I need to beat everyone that this company puts in front of me and that includes you song. I don’t have anything against you personally but right now you are in my way. You are in the way of everything that I want to accomplish and to get to where I need to be. I need to move you out of my way. And I have to do it the best way that I know how. By marching down to that ring and stomping your head into the mat until I leave it as a stain.”

“And if I lose to you, if I lose to you after everything that you’ve done and failed to do since you returned then I have no business being in a SCW ring.”

“So you better get ready. You better bring everything that you have because that’s what I plan to do. I’m gonna do everything I can to get you out of my way and I will do everything in my power to make sure that when that bell rings, you are the one who is lying on your back staring at the lights and I have my handheld high. Every single win is a step closer to what I want to achieve. And Mercedes Vargas better be ready because you song are the first stepping stone toward my first goal. The Internet championship. This is the resurgence of Alicia Lukas. This is my resurrection and my redemption….”

Best Laid Plans

It was finally time. It was time to tell the one person about her engagement that she was dreading. Everyone else in her life she wanted to tell, but she also wanted to do it in her own way. But this person was the one person that she knew was going to be a challenge. Her mother. A woman who did love all of her children but whose particular brand of love was always filled with a certain amount of judgement and domineering.

A woman who had an ego problem, the main problem being that her ego was the one that mattered most

It didn’t matter how her children felt, didn’t matter how anyone else in her life felt. Barbara was going to do what she wanted and when she wanted. She was going to say what she wanted when she wanted, she didn’t care about your feelings. It was a trait that her daughter had also inherited. In fact, it was a trait that both of her daughters had inherited. But Zoey and Alicia had learned tact, their mother hadn’t.

Alicia took a deep breath walking toward the large stately manner that her mother called home. It was on an old plantation on the outskirts of Atlanta Georgia. Just outside the suburbs but still close enough to the city that they can drive in whenever needed. Alicia flew in, Strategically bringing her sons. As the door opened, the boys ran to go find their grandmother. They loved her, and she doted on them, she was an excellent grandparent and had been a good mother but there was always an air of contention hanging over Alicia’s head whenever she talked to her mother.

Her mother wanted what was best for her.

She knew that, she accepted that. The only problem was that the way her mother went about things always rubbed Alicia the wrong way. And deep down she never forgave her for being the catalyst of her first relationship. And while that relationship had given Alicia two beautiful sons that she loved it had also come close to completely ruining her life, destroying her self-worth, making her feel like she was an object through abuse. Her mother had her hand in that making the match to begin with. And even though her mother could not have known the monster that her daughter had been betrayed to it was still something that Alicia kept deep inside as a small amount of anger and frustration.

The boys ran off to go and play in the large backyard leaving Alicia standing with her mother. Her mother smiling and moved her hand toward a small table with a chair on either side and some tea sitting in the middle. Alicia took a deep breath and sat down knowing that it was only a matter of time before she would have to tell her mother the good news. ”I do love seeing them so happy”

Alicia can’t help but smile, her mother was right. Seeing the boys happy definitely warmed both of their hearts. Alicia grabbed her tea up taking a small seat before putting it down instantly drawing the attention of her mother. Normally when she would take a sip of tea she would make her face, only drinking it to make her mother happy. But this time she was so deep in thought about what she was about to do that there was no movement, no subtle twitch, no hatred of the liquid that she was drinking.

”Alright… Spill it, you clearly have something on your mind”

Alicia cleared her throat and sat back, she knew that look on her mother‘s face and there was no point in trying to hide it. She swallowed hard and reached into her pocket before sliding her engagement ring on her finger and then placing her hand on the glass table. ”I..I’m getting married..”

”Again?” Her heart sank. Unsure of what to say next as her mother raised an eyebrow. Alicia froze her hands sitting there as her mother then shook her head and chuckled under her breath. ”Relax….I knew about it and I’m just teasing..”

Alicia setback her shoulders dropped as she felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders but then a question rattled around her brain. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. ” Who told you?”

”Your sister.”

”Of course” Alicia muttered under her breath. While she was relieved that her mother knew and seemed to be taking it so well she was also disappointed that she wasn’t the one to tell her.

Her mother raised an eyebrow studying Alicia‘s body language before setting down her tea cup and turning towards her daughter. ”She seemed to believe that you were worried about telling me. Why? I’m happy for you. Despite my reservations about Austin he seems to be a positive influence on not just you but also the boys.”

”I just thought that you might be a little disappointed that I was choosing to get married again. After what happened with my previous relationships and marriages.” Her voice trailed off as she stared down at the glass table.

Her mother took a deep breath pushing it out before leaning forward and reaching across the table, grabbing Alicia‘s hand and giving it a squeeze ”The first one was my fault. Neither of us knew what kind of family that was. And Michael? He died, are you meant to stay single the rest of your life? And as for the one in the middle? Well, we all make mistakes dear” Barbara chuckled and looked over at the boys who were still playing. Alicia just slowly gave a nod to her mother and sat back. She wasn’t going to press the issue. She was happy, her mother seemed very accepting of it and now she wondered why she didn’t just trust her mother.

Now the real work would begin. The planning of the wedding, what kind of wedding would it be? And where would it be? Now it will become real. Now she was able to smile and enjoy it.

It’s been a while

”One thing I really love about this business, that I’ve always loved about this business, is that it’s unpredictable. Things don’t always go to plan.”

Alicia lets out of deep sigh and folds her arms over her chest.

”You can have a clear version of where you want to go and what you want to do. You can do everything you can to reach that point and in the end, something unexpected can happen to throw a wrench in the plan. The triple threat match that I was last in, Harper Mason was the one who walked out with the wind. And the thing is I can’t complain about it. She earned that win. Harper earned everything that she was able to get and she went on to blaze of glory and was able to compete for the Sin City wrestling internet championship…”

“She didn’t win. But she tried.”

“And that’s what’s important I guess. You can’t take that win away from her though. Beating myself and Crystal. That’s the risk you run by getting into these multi-person matches. You can lose without actually losing. You can get beaten without actually getting beaten. But at the end of that match, I was the one who didn’t get to go to blaze of glory. So I went home. I relaxed and watched the show. I watched everyone else beat the hell out of each other and I saw a new champion's crowned and legacies get  solidified.”

“But, coming out of blaze of glory. It’s blast from the past season. And this year gets to be a little bit different. This year I don’t have to rely on a tag team partner who may or may not turn up to fight. This year it’s just on Me. A one on one elimination tournament. and my first opponent in the first round is someone I know very well.”

Alicia slightly smiles and reaches over grabbing a Snickers bar and popping it open. She starts to eat it before tilting her head and taking a deep breath.

”Candy, a former SCW roulette champion. A woman who has challenged for the top championship in this company a few times. And failed. Candy is the answer to a question that nobody asked. And while everyone else seems to be rolling out the welcome mat and is happy that she’s returned and decided to be a part of the blast from the past tournament. I find myself wondering why. Why are you here candy? Why are you back? Is it just to make up the dollars in this tournament? Because you look at what you’ve done since you’ve come back and that’s the impression I’m getting.”

“You are just going through the motions. The same old candy, the same old attitude. You turn up you flash your smile at the camera you trot out your silly little fluff ball of a dog, you throw your glitter, and expect everyone to cheer and clap for you like trying to seals. Do you care that you’re at a tournament where you could potentially realize a dream that you have had for years and never been good enough to accomplish? Whenever you open your mouth we never get an insight into who you are or the passion that you have for this business. All we get is bubblegum dreams and unicorn farts.”

“Rainbow bullshit spewing from your mouth”

“You and I have done this song and dance before. You told me how you wanna beat me and you’ve told me how good you can be and how I’ve underestimated you but the truth is every single time we’ve got into that ring. I have our class. You would show the world that I am simply better. And the fact that you’re still using that stupid glitter? The fact that you’re still blatantly cheating in front of the world and getting away with it? It makes me sick. So I thought you would’ve learned by now that it is not acceptable to do things like that. But you have. Because as I said, you are the same old candy. The same attitude same outlook on life the same tired nostalgia act full of bullshit.”

Alicia throws her arms in the air, clearly annoyed at this entire situation as she stomped back and forth before rubbing the back of her neck and refocusing forward taking a deep breath.

”And that’s all you are. A nostalgia act. You’ve walked back into the company and you’re doing the exact same thing expecting the exact same reaction. But you are taking up a spot in a tournament that could’ve gone to someone else who might want to become the champion. You might actually have the same passion that the rest of us have for this business. And that is the difference between you and Me. You are here to make up the numbers and a smile and relive your glory days back when you held one championship in this company in a fluke. To rely on nostalgia and be little Miss Perfect for the crowd.”

“I’m here to win. I’m here to get back to where I deserve to be. I’m not saying that I’m going to win this tournament and go straight for the Bombshells championship. Cause the truth is, I told everyone I wanted to work my way up from the bottom. The blast from the past is something that I have never won that I want to. If I win I might go for the Internet championship, I might try and snatch that out of Bella‘s hands. I might go for the roulette championship, or I might go right after Kayla Richards and that bombshell championship to get to the top of the mountain again.”

“But, at least I have a plan. I have desires and passion for this business. I’m here to win and I’m here to be the best that I can be. What about you candy? Why are you here? Are you here just to do as I said and walk out of some kind of tired nostalgia acts to wave and throw your glitter? Are you here to get a few cheap pops from the crowd so you can feel good about yourself? Or are you here to try and win? Are you here to prove everyone wrong? The years that’s all we’ve said about you. That you’re a nobody. That if we took away all of the glitter and candy that you would be nothing. And you have done absolutely nothing to prove us wrong.”

“This is your chance. This is your chance to prove all of us wrong and to stand up and get your chance at becoming a legend. Some people would say you’re a legend now that those people are idiots. You had one championship rain with the roulette title back in 2020. You haven’t had any big wins against the best of the best in this company and you haven’t had any moments with people sitting back wide-eyed and impressed. You are a one-hit wonder. And now? Now you have to prove that you are here for the right reasons. Because I don’t think you are. So I’m going to do what should have been done a long time ago and I’m going to put you out of your misery. and I’m going to go on to win this tournament and reclaim my glory, reclaim my passion, and reclaim my championship.”

One step

It had been a rough week.

Being on the comeback trail after being out of the ring and out of the business for so long was never going to be a walk in the park. The problem with taking time away from something as intense as professional wrestling is that when you get back into it you need to work your way into it. The problem is that you can’t. If you have made a name for yourself in the professional wrestling business then you are going to come back and instantly have the spotlight thrust up upon you. Everyone is always going to expect you to still be the same person you were before you left. To be at that same level, and the level that Alicia Lukas was at was suffocating.

Everyone who looked at her in the gym had seen her weekend and week out for the last few years. She had gone in the ring with them, given them her knowledge and her strength. But, that was in a private setting. Sitting with friends and fans and sitting with family was different and quieter. When the spotlight is on you and you are in the ring, you are exposed. Exposed to everything. Your failures and your shortcomings are laid out for everyone to see and for everyone to judge.

That reality will always breed pressure. And pressure isn’t always a negative thing. Some pressure can push down on you and break you, destroy everything you are and everything you possibly could be. Pressure can be suffocating, it can suck all the air out of your lungs and make it hard for you to breathe. But there are some people who push back against that pressure. Who can break through and show that they are more than what the world believes them to be and what the world will allow them to be. The ability to break through pressure is one that separates true champions from the pretenders.

And Alicia had always been a true champion.

Despite the fact her return hadn’t gone as she had planned. Despite the fact that she had been stuck in the middle of the division instead of raising back up to the place that she believed she should be, she was still doing everything in her power to make not only herself but those around her better. She still turned up to the gym every day, but she still helped those around her and trained as hard as she could. She did everything in her power to live up to the name of reputation that she had forged through her years of hard work, perseverance, and championship glory.

As 2024 started to draw to a close Alicia knew she had a few appearances to make, working hard to make sure that she was going to end the year off better than the year had begun. She arrived home, got out of her car, and stretched as she looked over at her home. Smiling as she knew that her family was inside. Her sons Rory and Ryan, and her partner, her boyfriend, Austin James Mercer, and his son, Marcus, and daughter Amelia.

She walked up the concrete path toward the front door reaching out and opening it. She stepped inside and looked around, while the lights in the lounge room were on, the hallway to the kitchen was dark and only lit by a few candles that had been placed on the ground leading toward the kitchen. Alicia raised an eyebrow moving down the hallway and into the kitchen where she found the dining room table had been set. A beautiful red tablecloth has been laid out with a few white plates and silverware. And sitting on one side of the table was Austin.

”Aus….whats all this?”[

Austin did little to answer the question instead offering a small shrug. His shoulder-length brown hair, the hair that he had previously cut short that had grown out once again was now tied back in a tight bun. His beard was trimmed and immaculately kept. He wore a button-up white shirt and black pants as he kept the sleeves rolled up. ”I can’t just do something nice?” he smiled at her, Austin wasn’t the type to smile very much. Even before everything that had happened when he lost his wife Lisa. Austin was never one to show his emotions outwardly. He was a mystery to most people. Except those who knew him.

And Alicia was someone who definitely knew him. She knew that behind the steel gaze that he offered the world, behind the mask of indifference that he wore when dealing with most people there was a deep reservoir of feeling. All of the human emotions that we all feel. Anger, frustration, hatred, happiness, and love. All of these things Austin not only felt but felt deeply. ”I’m not going to say I don’t appreciate it, but is there an occasion for it? Something special I’ve forgotten?”

Austin shook his head serving up a perfectly cooked medium-rare steak and grilled and butter asparagus. A protein-rich meal with vitamins. One of Alicia‘s favorites. Something that she would often eat but would have to cook for herself. And she hated cooking. Austin poured her some wine before sitting back down and offering up a casual smile. ”Ali, we’ve known each other a long time. When I first met you, I admired you. I admired how much you love this business, I admired the way that you never let your family get to you. Like Me, you had a parent who is in the business business. We both had names that we had to live up to, but while I kept my last name you were able to forge your own life, you didn’t coast on your father‘s reputation or his name, you did it all yourself.” Austin paused, swallowing hard and sitting back before continuing. ”You and I were destined to be ships passing each other in the night. As much as I loved Lisa, and still in many ways, do love Lisa, she isn’t what I would’ve considered to be my soulmate. She gave me two wonderful children and some of the best years of my life. but I.”

Austin pauses again. This time he seemed to struggle with what he was going to say. He closed his eyes as he tried to find the words. Alicia, threw a shaky breath leaned forward. Her fingertips slightly danced across the back of his hand. Austin, as if on instinct turned his hand sideways, allowing Alicia’s fingers to slide into his palm and squeeze his hand. A reassuring gesture. She wanted to hear what he had to say. As Austin opened his eyes, Alicia gave him a small smile and a nod coaxing it out of him.

Austin smiled and continued ”I love you. I’ve always loved you. But while I was with Lisa and you were with Michael, I never allowed myself to feel it. And even when they both passed and you and I became closer, I thought it was going to disrespect both of their memories. As much as I blame Michael for everything that happened, I still wasn’t sure that it was respectful for you and me to be in a relationship. And I thought I did, but in the end, I couldn’t. And I don’t want to lie to myself anymore, Alicia.”

She smiled, her heart racing and beating in her chest. ”I love you to…”

The two looked at each other. Both of them smiling. Austin stood up still holding Alicia‘s hand. He moved around the table. His muscular frame towered over her as he leaned in and gently kissed her. Being as gentle and tender as anyone could ever be. Austin very slowly dropped to one knee as Alicia‘s eyes opened. Her heart skipped a beat and her breath hitched in her throat. She wanted to ask him what he was doing but all she could manage was a trembling lip. Austin had her hand in his. He smiled and grabbed a small black velvet ring box from his pocket.  ”Ali, will you m-“

”Yes….”

She didn’t wait for him to get the entire question out. Blurting out her answer. Austin smiled sliding the ring on her finger before standing up. Alicia wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up and wrapping her legs around his waist. After their warm embrace and passionate kiss Austin Laughed and looked down ”Your food is getting cold” Alicia loaded herself down laughing as she put her forehead on Austin‘s chest. The two getting ready to go about their night. Preparing themselves to eat and then tell the rest of the world what was going to happen between them.

Lost

”There are always bumps in the road. Always obstacles that you have to overcome and face. No matter where you are in your life. No matter what you do in life. There are always things that get placed in front of you trying to stop you from achieving your goals”

Alicia slowly emerges. Wearing a black leather jacket over a black band shirt. The logo of the hard rock band Ghost is clearly visible. On the lower part of her body, she wears a pair of tight black jeans with the knee holes torn. And black combat boots over the top. Her long blonde hair is tied back in an interesting fashion. The top is tied back and braided like a cat o'nine tails. The bottom half kept down and flowing down her back and shoulders. Underneath her right eye, a black stripe of wall paint and her ruby red lips shine in contrast to the darkness around her eyes.

”This business is as fast-moving and unforgiving as the rest of the entertainment industry. And make no mistake that’s exactly what we are. Entertainment. Admittedly what we share is a lot closer and more akin to what the ancient Romans used to enjoy the Colosseum than what we now see on the silver screen that gets all sorts of awards from academies and critics. But the fact remains that we are entertainment. And as such we fall into the same traps. Everyone is always looking for the new shiny person who is going to come up and replace the old ones. The new name that is going to become a champion and be pushed forward as the face of the company.”

“Meanwhile, champions of the past are usually looked at in a certain light. Either they leave, standing on the sidelines making snide comments about the current stars. Acting like they could still come in and dominate if they wanted to all the while never fully committing to coming back. I’m of course talking about people like Amber Ryan and Mikah. Now don’t get me wrong, both of those women are incredible athletes and both of them were the best that this company had to offer. And I’m sure they could come back and give most of the women in this company a run for their money. And in Amber Ryan’s case, she might even go on another reign of terror.”

“But, that is still one category.”

“The former champions, so full of bitterness. So full of anger toward the company and ready to make so many comments about how they could do it better. But never actually coming back to do it and prove it. But what of those that do? What about those women who at one point in time with the greatest company had to offer and have stayed? Samantha Marlowe. Mercedes Vargas. Crystal Zdunixh. These women refuse to leave and instead stay. Much to their detriment. Because they are looked at as failed nostalgia acts. As women who can’t live up to what they used to and are just now walking talking popes. Coasting off of their names of the past like some form of heretical ghosts. Unwilling just to die like their careers.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself. Her whole body tenses. Her mind seems to race as she comes to different realizations. Thinking about her past, her present, her future. Thinking about everything else that has been laid before her and everyone else in the company. Her bright blue eyes snap forward and a small arrogant smile comes across her lips.

”So, which one am I then? Which category does Alicia Lucas fit into? While I was gone from this company I didn’t run my mouth. I might have occasionally called out a member of the roster or two, but I didn’t sit in my Ivory Tower and talk about what was wrong with the company. I didn’t badmouth the current champions, I didn’t try and wiggle my way into the good graces of the people who ran this company. I knew in my heart that Christian and Mark were just a phone call away at any time I wanted to come back all I had to do was pick up that phone. All I had to do was tell them I wanted a new contract. They would welcome Me with open arms.”

“Now, if I didn’t fit into that category, the one with the bitter old farts who didn’t know what her real place was in life. Then I suppose I must fit in the same category as Mercedes Vargus and the others that I mentioned right?”

“I suppose I am simply a woman who is passed her prime. No longer the best that this company has to offer. I’m just a shambling, shunting, struggling corpse. A ghost of what I once was. A great champion, now reduced to someone who is going to lose time and time again as those who are younger than me and better than Me become champions. Is that my future? Is that where I’m going? Has the legacy of the strong style Southern Bell become a joke?”

“Maybe..”

“Or maybe I’m something new. Something different. When you look at my career in my past I have never, ever walked to the same beat of everyone else’s drum. In fact, I’ve always been unique. Somewhat disagree with that, someone might think I’m nothing but arrogant. and there is certainly something to be said for that. I am arrogant, and with my track record in my past why wouldn’t I be? I’ve done things that most women in this business could only dream of. I dominated three companies at once. Who else can say that? I broke records. I won awards and I beat the best that this business had to offer. So, am I arrogant? Am I cocky? You damn right I am.”

The arrogant smirk that had been plastered on Alicia‘s face slowly started to grow. The arrogance grew with her attitude. But the smoker twisted contorted and changed into something more sinister.

”Unlike others I have earned the right to be arrogant. But my arrogance never crosses that line. A line where I can’t see my failures. That is what has always set me apart from others. I look around at all the other names in this company and they still don’t get it. When I was in the middle of my run that made people jealous, I pointed out so many different mistakes that they made and here I am a few years later and I can still see the same mistakes being made by the same people as well as the same mistakes being made by new faces. The more things changed the more they stay the same indeed”

“Alexandra Calaway is definitely someone who makes these mistakes. Last month, the last time you all saw me, I was in a match with Alexandra and Andrea Hernandez. The winner would go on to face Kayla Richards. Now, both Alexandra and I failed. I took the loss hard and went home, and now here I am my first match back and it is still affecting me. I wasn’t good enough that night to win and go onto face Kayla. Andrea Hernandez was and she went on to give a great fight to our champion. I learned from that loss like I always have. You know who didn’t learn a goddamn thing? Alexandra.”

“Forty years old and still unable to come to terms with a loss and learn anything from it. No wonder you have never been able to become The champion that you always thought you should be.”

“You are still fighting to win everything you think you deserve. It’s admirable in a way. You doing everything you can to try and gain that glory. Except the one thing you need to do to get what you want. You can’t bring yourself to really examine your losses, when you win it’s all roses and unicorns and rainbows. But when you lose you make a few Flippin comments shrug it off and move along. You don’t sit there and dissect it. You don’t do an autopsy on your loss you don’t learn a goddamn thing from instead you just keep throwing yourself into brick walls expecting something to change.”

“But nothing changes”

“You still end up at the bottom of the pile staring up at people who are better than you. And while I failed so far in my comeback aside from a few wins that have ultimately been pointless, you look back at my career in this company and I accomplished things. I accomplished things here, I accomplished things in WWH, and I accomplished things in honor wrestling. I was the biggest name on this fucking planet at one point. I was infamous and had bitches and morons from other companies constantly calling me out because they were nothing jealous of the success that I had.”

She chuckles to herself, shaking her head before continuing.

”You on the other hand get made fun of because of your stupidity. The fact that you can never admit when you’re wrong and the fact that everyone else in this company thinks you’re a joke. You’re only claim to fame is being the world champion of a company that shut down. Congratulations. Every single time you’ve tried to climb up that ladder while you’ve been here you’ve been smacked back down to the bottom wrong. And now you have to face me one on one at the final show of the year while I’m in such a bad mood that I’m just about ready to rip your head off. And the crazy part is it’s nothing personal.”

“It’s not even really business. You see if this was something personal between us then I would care. I’d be angry, I’d be stomping my feet and I’d be promising the fans a great show while I tore your arm off and beat you to death with it. But I can’t even do that because I really don’t care about you Alexandra. You mean nothing to me. And I can’t even say it’s business either.”

“Business implies that I would have something to gain. What does me beating you gain? You have something to gain if you beat me. You beat me you’ve just knocked off a three-time bombshell, champion, and a woman who won wrestler of the year woman of the year feud of the year. A woman who dominated WWH a woman who dominated on a wrestling and a woman who is dominated here. You get to tell the world that you were able to beat Alicia Lukas.”

“I beat you and what do I get? I get to say I beat you? Great, so does everyone else in this fucking company”

“No, winning a match against you does nothing for my career. So instead I have to settle for another motivator. And that motivation is simple, I don’t want to lose to you. I don’t want people to look at me and believe that I’m such a failure and that I have fallen so far from what I used to be that I’m going to lose to the likes of you. Someone whose greatest accomplishment is being able to get her succubus hooks into LJ Kasey.”

“And I’ll be dead if that is the vision of Me the people close out 2024 with. So congratulations. You get to have a match with one of the best in this company and a bonafide legend. But it’s not going to help you….”

“Merry Christmas bitch.”

Are we ok?

Alicia had been distant the last couple of weeks. She had not been booked for any matches in SCW since her match against Tempest, in which Austin was forced to be the special guest referee. Losing matches happens, being put in the ring with someone like Tempest, and losing was nothing to be ashamed of. Alicia knew that. But at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel slighted. She had watched as her sister Ran through everyone in the company before being stopped by Tempest having her career and her momentum halted.

She would get in the ring and get some sort of revenge for her sister. As well as keeping her own comeback tour on the rails. But in the end, all that happened was she lost to the better woman. She was just angry that her significant other had been roped into it because of his connection to both women.

And after a loss, not being booked being thrown away and forgotten like she was nothing. It played on every single one of Alicia's insecurities. Through everything in her life, the one thing that was always going to play on her mind would be a fear of being forgotten. Thrown away like she was nothing. That is one thing that she could never handle that she could never live with and it is the one thing that was playing on her mind. Losing to Tempest meant that she had been forgotten. She was sitting at home playing the Happy Mother and the Happy Housewife, doing exactly what she had been doing before she decided to go back to professional wrestling and try and finish her story the way she wanted to.

But none of that seemed to matter now, her personal relationship had suffered.

Austin had tried to continue like nothing happened, going to the gym and working out as well as helping out the young members, taking his own sabbatical from the ring as he healed up his shoulder after surgery. But, he sensed there was something wrong with Alicia. He kept his distance trying to make sure that he didn’t upset her or didn’t make her feel worse.

Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect. Alicia closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she stood in the kitchen, staring at her cup of coffee before taking a sip and placing it back down again moving her neck from side to side. A few large cracks were that echoed through the kitchen. She had just gotten back from taking both of her boys to school before coming home and finding Austin getting ready to go to the gym. He looked over at her an eyebrow raised as she wasn’t in her workout gear and didn’t have her gym bag sitting next to her ready to go like she usually does.

”Not coming today?” Austin was concerned, but he tried to hide it. His voice boomed with the kind of confidence that he usually had. But, Alicia could tell there was something in his voice. A small sliver of concern

She took another sip of her coffee, putting it down before folding her arms over her chest ”What’s the point? Since I lost to your work wife I haven’t been booked. All I’ve done is sit on my butt and watch her get a fucking bombshells championship match and then fumble the ball…” her bright blue eyes burned, sparkling with the type of anger and frustration that was usually reserved for the most dire of situations.

Austin shook his head, putting his gym bag down. He realized that all of the frustration Alicia had been feeling over the last few weeks had bubbled to the surface. ”That isn’t fair. You seem to be angry at Tempest for simply doing her job. Or maybe you are angry at me for simply doing mine.”

Alicia took a deep breath, realizing that her words came out a fair bit harsher than she had realized. She calmed herself down before standing straight up and nodding slowly at Austin acknowledging that maybe she took it a little bit too far. ”I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. I know what this business is like, you can’t win every match, and everyone ends up losing it at some point. I just can’t stand the feeling that I’ve lost a step. And the worst part is I also feel like the company has moved on from me like I don’t matter and they have forgotten who I am. The fact that they haven’t asked me to show to cut a promo or to talk to fans or do personal appearances or have a match just hurts”

Austin slowly smiled and stepped forward. He reached out and slightly ran his thumb across Alicia‘s cheek, he leaned down kissing her slowly, the type of kiss that you give someone when you have nothing but passion and love for them. Alicia‘s breath hitched in her throat as she seemed to go weak at the knees, Austin smiled and stepped back.

”That’s cheating Aus…”

He simply chuckled, leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down. ”The way I see it you have two options, option number one. I go to the gym. I have a workout and then I come home while you stay here. Have a day to yourself and relax and then make you dinner.” He pulls for a moment Alicia raises an eyebrow waiting for option number two. ”Or… I stay home with you, we spend the day together and maybe get a personal workout in”

Alicia couldn’t help the chuckle, Austin turning on his charms was always amusing. He was good-looking and confident but sometimes he would come out with things that were so cheesy Alicia couldn’t help it laugh. But this instance it was a moment of levity that she needed to pull herself out of the hole that she had started to dig for herself. ”Alright big guy… I think a day together is exactly what the doctor ordered”  Alicia took a deep breath finally calming down and getting all of the frustrations out of the past couple of weeks she could now move forward. Or at least that was the plan.

An old enemy

”Well, that was a horrible experience. It’s something that I don’t think any of you know how it feels,  to be put in a situation like that. See, this profession is hard enough as it is. We put our bodies on the line and we get in the ring and we go at each other all for people's amusement. You win, you lose and you take some steps back. Admittedly some people can look brave when they lose and their careers won’t suffer but that is a rarity in this business.”

Alicia shakes her head her long blonde hair tied back in a messy bun with her lips painted a bright cherry red, a black Hoodie sits over the top of a black and grey band shirt showing the logo of American Deathcore band Whitechapel.

”I’m not going to stand here and say that losing to Tempest is some kind of big dishonorable event that is going to ruin my life. There is no shame in losing the tempest. I just hate the fact that Austin got dragged into it and thrown in the middle. I hate the fact that he was involved and it took my focus off of the match. And I hate the fact that since I lost her, I have been sitting on the sidelines waiting for my chance to get back in the ring. All it’s done is piss me off.”

“And don’t get it twisted I’m not angry at Tempest. She did nothing wrong. She got in the ring with Me and when the dust settled she was the one who had her handheld high and she got to move on with her career and go after Kayla Richards, who is our current bombshells champion. And yes Tempest did fail but she also put up a hell of a fight.”

“More of a fight, than I probably would have right now”

“But, the end of that match did leave me wondering where I was going to go from here. I had come back and started to remind people exactly who I am and what I’m about, but that loss to Tempest and then having to sit at home made me question exactly why I was doing this. But in the end? I came to the same answer as I had before. I know why I’m doing this, I know the kind of legacy I have in the legacy. I want to submit. And I can tell you this right now I am not going to rest until I reach every single one of my goals that I have left.”

Alicia can’t help with small shaking her head as she folds her arms over her chest.

”But, now that I am back I get to face some new name in SCW in Prudence Pierce., Hold on a second. Wait, what do you mean? Prudence isn’t new? What do you mean she used to be known as Kate Steele? What the fuck is this bullshit?”

Alicia looks over to the side, someone is sitting there whispering to her about Kate's different name and what she’s gone through. Alicia shakes her head her eyebrows raising before turning back and continuing with her promo flabbergasted at the unbelievable bullshit she just got forced to sit through and listen to

”Kate Steele. New name, same bullshit. When I came to this company I knew of you, I’ve seen you in our previous employers company and we had tussled many times before and over and over again. I ended up with my hand held high while all you did was fail. And all you ever did was make excuses time and time again. You would come back and talk about how you were going to make sure you tried your hardest only to fall on your ass and fail.”

“And never in meeting where you went wrong or taking ownership of it. Constantly making excuses to the fans and also to your family. Now, I understand you just got married so you’re going to change your name and do your best Crystal Hilton impersonation. But most people don’t completely change their first name their personality and everything about themselves to fit their new narrative when it comes to their wife.”

“Most people just take the other person's last name and get on with it but in typical Kate Steele/prudence Pierce fashion you have to overcomplicate things and spit in the face of common decency and social norms just because you feel like it and you want to be contrarian because you aren’t good enough for anything else”

“And since you got back all you have done is lose. You walk in you act like you’re going to do something great and then you fail. You make excuses and you fail and this is a constant thing with you. It is a cycle of abusive bullshit where you seem to think that you are capable of breaking the Internet and becoming a star when you’re not even capable of remembering your own past.”

“So he’s what’s going to happen Prudence. You and I are going to get in the ring in this hard-core match and I’m going to grab any weapon that’s around me and I’m gonna beat the hell out of you with it. Not because I actually think it’s going to beat any sense into you because that ship has long sailed. I am going to take out the collective frustrations of anyone who has ever believed in you or believed the bullshit that has come out of your mouth about Changing and I’m going to unleash it on you. All of that frustration and all of that anger is going to come out all over you by my hand. And then maybe just maybe you’ll finally get it through your head that no one wants you here and no one cares….”

In my blood

Depression.

Statistics say that over 70% of the adult population of the world at some time or another will experience forms of depression. Personally, I believe that number to be a bit too low. Depression is a state of being that most of us feel sometime in our lives. Whether or not we deal with depression or if we have depression in any other way than a fleeting moment is not up for debate. What is up for debate is whether or not we have it as some form of state of being, or if it is just something that comes into our lives that leaves just as quickly.

For Alicia Lukas depression was something that she had felt before. Felt back when she was in an abusive relationship that slowly destroyed her self-esteem and self-worth. A relationship that beat her down physically emotionally and mentally for years until she had the courage to leave.

However, the effects of that relationship had been felt for the rest of her life. Going from relationship to relationship, thinking that she found the right one while falling into the same traps as before. Watching as men that she had come to care about tried to control every little thing that she did.

From Chris Cane, to Travis Blake, to Kaden Kessler, and even her late husband Michael Reynolds.

They all tried to manage and control her in different ways. From what she would wear, to her attitude, and her career. They would try and control different aspects of her life instead of letting her be free. This was never a situation where it was something small that she would need to discuss with a significant other. No, this was aspects of her freedom that were being constrained, controlled, and beaten down so she had no free will left.

That was until she entered into a relationship with a man. She had been friends with and known for the better part of a decade. Austin James Mercer. Former Sin City wrestling world heavyweight champion, and a champion in many other companies. One of the head trainers at Wolfslair NYC and Alex Jones’ go-to guy. Austin was tall, muscular, and handsome. After getting covered in tattoos had an air of danger about him that he never had before. As well as an attitude that had been turned into a sharp edge instead of a baby-face grin.

And their relationship had been amazing. Austin was compassionate and loving, he gave her all the attention that she could ever want and need while staying back far enough to give her the freedom she desired. But for just over a year Alicia had taken a step back from entering competition to stay at home. To take some time for herself and her family.

Spending time with her sons and Austin as well as his children and his sister and her son had done Alicia wonders. She had reconnected with her mother and come to an understanding that while they loved each other they would never think or feel the same way when it came to the world. But now, now Alicia sat in her kitchen. A cup of coffee in front of her and her hands grasped the large mug. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath filled with urgency and nervous energy. She shouldn’t be nervous. She thought to herself in the strangest of ways as she looked across the table at Austin. He just sat there with a cup of coffee, and newspaper in his hand.

Austin also recently took some time off from professional wrestling. A chronic back injury ended his last run and a decision was made to take some time off to heal and spend it at home with the children. He would still work at the gym training the next generation of athletes, something that Alicia had also done.

She took a deep breath, she had a fire in her eyes that hadn’t been there for months.

”I wanted to ask you something.”

Her voice breaking silence made Austin look up from his paper, a small smoke on his lips as he tilted his head waiting for her to keep going with the thoughts in her mind ”What’s that?”

Alicia swallowed, pushing all of that nervous energy that was bubbling into the surface back down to the bit of her stomach. She took a deep breath and got ready. ”I…..want to go back to SCW…..I think it’s time….so can I?.” She stayed ahead studying Austin, he folded up the paper and put it down in front of him before clasping his hands together.

”Okay, so why?”

Alicia swallowed and took a deep breath before getting ready to plead her case ”Well, I really miss it. I miss the feeling of being out in front of the fans. I miss the feeling of everything that goes on in that company and in that ring. And I feel like I have so much left to give. I’ve been gone for a year and in that time I have found myself again. I finally feel physically and mentally healed and I’m ready to go. I’m ready to be The Alicia Lukas everyone remembers.”

Austin chuckled and shook his head, it took her a second but Alicia realised that she had actually interrupted Austin. He had more to say and she just blurted everything out ”I wasn’t going to ask why you wanted to go back. I was going to ask you why were you asking me?” he paused, studying Alicia‘s body language and everything that was coming with it. ”It’s your career. It’s your life. You know that no matter what happens I’ll always support you. Besides, being in the ring is in your blood.” he smiled, and Alicia‘s heart lifted. All the pressure and nervous energy that she had felt just lifted off her shoulders and flew away. She was happy.

”I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with it. We spent so much time together and now that you were home, I didn’t want you to think that I was avoiding you.” Austin laughed, he knew that wasn’t the reason and that she was hiding the real reason. But instead of calling her out on it, he simply smiled and reached across grabbing her hand. He gave it a squeeze to let her know that everything was alright.

After a few moments, he sat back and stretched before chuckling and giving her a wink ”Well, I suppose I should tell Alex. After all, since you’ll be coming back to the gym as an active member instead of a trainer, sure he will want you to put in the extra work to get you back in ring shape.”

Alicia faked being upset. She put her hand on her chest and stood up before moving around to where Austin was sitting. She lowered herself onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. ”Sir, I am offended. Look at Me. Don’t I look like I’m in great shape already?” Austin shook his head with a laugh. That isn’t what he meant and she knew it.

He put his hand on her knee and leaned forward giving her a small kiss. ”I know you are just screwing with me. But really, I want to help you get ready. That division is not going to know what hit them. You are one of the most naturally gifted people I’ve ever seen……let’s make sure the division knows who they have been so scared of for the last few years…”

Alicia smiled. There was nothing more to be said. She knew she had Austin's support and his love and also his devotion. He was going to make damn sure that she was ready. That she was back to the Alicia that she had always been. The dangerous strong style Southern Bell the woman who had been so dominant that she won awards that no one else had. This was her second coming. and God help anyone who stood in her way

An old enemy

”Did you all miss me?”

The southern drawl of Alicia Lukas breaks the silence. She smiles and takes a deep breath. A look of genuine happiness on her face. She missed this and it shows.

”I would say that I missed all of you but I really don’t like feeling like a liar. In fact, I’ve never been one. To my detriment. See, I have always been honest to a fault. And that has made me hated by most in this company and some in the wrestling world at large. Cause I have the balls to say what most won’t. I will hold a mirror up to society and the wrestling world and shine a reflection on your shortcomings and your reality. A reality that most of you skew in your favor.”

“A reality that is a real lie and fabrication.”

“I have been sitting at home for over a year in self-imposed exile. And honestly, part of me did it because I thought my work was done.”

“Six years ago, when I came into this company, the bombshells division was in a state of disarray. Your legends had either quit or were sticking around to just get a paycheck and bleed this company dry. So when SCW bought out Honor Wrestling and I knew I was about to debut I took it upon myself to fix things.”

Alicia shakes her head with a sigh.

”And fix them I did.

She takes a deep breath and throws her arms out to the side with an arrogant smile.

”I took the Bombshells championship and made it into a prize that everyone in the wrestling world wanted. It was because of me that Roxi Johnson and Keira Fisher-Johnson came back. I made legends and huge names want to return or come into this company to try and beat me. I rejuvenated the bombshell division. I made damn sure that everyone knew the name Alicia Lukas.”

“And when I had left the division in a better position than when I found it, I took some time off. I returned when I felt like it but in the end, I knew it was time for me to go home relax and spend time with my kids. Meanwhile, well, the division that I had built up and tried to make something had slowly broken apart and fallen into disrepair. Women who said that they were in it for the long haul that I left the division in their hands dropped the ball”

“Amber Ryan burned out and left, Roxi and Keira went back into semi-retirement, and the same legends that I have tried to chase out or make stand-up or back to their old goddamn tricks. Mercedes Vargas, Sam Marlowe, and Jessie Salco all went back to being themselves. Names taking up spots. Along with Crystal and her on and off again bean head wife…Seleana Zdunich…”

“This division has gone from a group of killers ready to rip each other’s heads off to get head to being entitled weaklings or legends who are just taking up a spot. For every Julianna DiMaria or Tempest or Kayla Richards carrying the flag,  there is a Harper Mason or Eiley thinking they should have everything handed to them.”

Alicia grinds her teeth and shakes her head. Clearly annoyed and somewhat offended by all this.

”But, my crusade against the entitled younger generation will need to wait. Because instead, I’m going to face The feeble wannabes who have stuck around like a bad smell first. Seleana Zdunich. An old enemy. Someone who was once looked at as the future of the division along with Me. A woman who many believed was going to be the next big thing and was going to stay at the top of the card trading wins back-and-forth with me for the next decade. But that’s not what happened is it?”

“Cause while you had some early success, it never really took off like it did with me. Did it Sel? “

“I won the Bombshells championship and in a moment that has been listed on the “biggest flukes ever” you were able to beat me. And for a fleeting moment, Sel everyone thought you were going to make it as a wrestler. As your own person. Instead of just being the leggy blonde in a relationship with a member of the Rose Hilton whatever dynasty.”

“As quickly as your star rose…it fell.”

“And no matter how many shots you get or secondary titles you win you can never recapture that glory. And to be honest with you Seleana, your attempts have gotten sad. Like really sad. You limp along week in and week out, and the biggest question I have is. Why?”

She pauses waiting for an answer that will never come.

”Why do this to yourself? Your family? Your friends? The fans? Why Seleana? I mean, I get it. We all go through slumps in our lives. We all go through times when things seem tough and there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. Even me. But the difference between us is that I haven’t tarnished my legacy by sticking around way longer than I should. I took a break. Stepped back. Reevaluated my life and role in the professional wrestling landscape.”

“I changed my way of thinking. And because of that, I have returned more determined and ready to go. Ready to reclaim my spot and ready to fix a broken system and division that is clinging to life.”

“For every bright light in this company, there are four or five destroying the credibility.”

“And you are one of them.”

“You are one of the reasons this division is in danger. You are one of the reasons people look down upon SCW. You, your wife, Alexandra Calaway, Vargas, Bae Barnhart, Harper Mason…..you are all negatives when I want SCW to be a positive. And now that I’m back? People like you have to watch out. Cause I ain’t fucking around, I am going to come at you with everything I have. And you have no idea how sad I am knowing that not only will you not match my effort….but you will make this all feel like a joke.”

Alicia’s nostrils flare and she cracks her neck.

”The worst part about this whole thing is that there was a time when I believed you could be great. There was a time when I accepted you being Me even with your bitch wife’s help was serendipitous to your talent. I gave you respect for wanting to right those wrongs. There was a time when you had a fire inside you. A time when you loved coming to work and you loved getting into that ring and you wanted to be the best. There was a time when you were doing everything you could do to prove everyone wrong.”

“The last few months though, no scratch that, the last few years since this has been going on before I left. Those last few years have been nothing short of abysmal for you. You turn up and do the bare minimum, you cut these promos where you just look tired and you look like you don’t want to be here. So again let me ask the question. Why? why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you no longer trying to be the best?”

“The truth is always hard to face.”

“And the truth is that you just don’t have it inside you anymore. You do not have that fire inside you to make all of this worth it. And if you aren’t in this to be the best, if you are just here to collect a paycheck and to have something in your life worth meaning? Then you are not going to last here. You are not going to be remembered as anything short of a fluke. I got into the Hall of Fame, I have had championship reigns people remember and wins that have gone down in history as well as awards that no one else had up until recently.”

“I kicked off the domination of the women’s division. And when I see people like you? Limping along and not doing anything of note? It makes me angry and when I get in the ring with you, I am not going to go easy on you or have any type of mercy.”

“I’m going to break you Seleana and there is nothing and nobody that is going to stop me.”

Broken

The light just wouldn’t come closer.

Running down the hallway, feeling her heart coming close to bursting as she chased it. The light at the end of the tunnel with darkness all around. She had been running for what felt like an eternity. As good as her cardio was she was close to a collapse.

Close to having to stop. But the drive inside her just refused to let go. It pushed her, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much she wanted it to stop.

It just wouldn’t let her.

Her chest heaved, her body felt heavy, her joints ached and sweat poured from every single part of her body. And no matter how hard or how fast she ran, she couldn’t catch the light, she couldn’t get to the end.

But she also couldn't stop chasing it.

She wanted it, she needed it. She felt like without the light she was nothing.

But it being out of her reach, constantly moving and going further without her being able to attain it. It drove her insane, it made her mad in ways that so many other people would never understand. She anted to scream. But running, being so tired and her heart feeling like it was going to explode. She couldn’t…she could scream, she couldn’t stop…all she could do was keep running…

Until she woke up.

Sitting right up in bed, drenched in sweat, was Alicia. Her hair stuck to her body, her hands shaking and her body feeling like she had just run a marathon. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, stop her heart from racing and to go back to normal. But, before she could lay down and go back to sleep, she heard a voice interrupting those plans.

”You are seriously fucked up, you know that right?”

Dr Whitlow, her gray hair in a bun, dressed in a orange suit and her glasses, sat at the base of Alicia's bed. Her eyes trailing up to the blond haired blue eyed  wrestler who is now sitting up straight and looking annoyed as she stares back at her apparition of a therapist. ”I’llbe even worse if someone doesn’t let me get my beauty sleep

She shot back in a very straight forward, annoying and somewhat sassy way. She was not putting up with this shit. Dr Whitlow scoffed and stood up, moving away from Alicias bed and folding her arms over her chest.”Awfully arrogant for someone with failure issues and nightmares aren’t you? It’s actually rather refreshing seeing how far you’ve fallen yet still seem to retain your brand of….personality.” Alicia groaned and lowered herself back

She closed her eyes, throwing her leg over a pillow next to her, letting out a deep sigh as she tried to get back to sleep. ”I’m going to sleep now, I have to leave early in the morning, so just leave whatever lesson you remembered from some textbook I made up in my psyche written on a napkin on the bedside table or something.”

Whitlow narrowed her eyes and turned kicking the end of Alicias bed. ”Look you arrogant little shit, I wouldn’t even need to be here if your psyche didn’t dream me up and spit me out whenever you’re having an existential crisis.” Alicia scoffed and rolled her eyes before rolling her whole body over amd facing away from Whitlow. ”So what is it this time? Hmm? Do you finally realise you’re falling behind?”

Alicia sighs and tries to ignore her. ”Whatever…just let me sleep…”

”Let you sleep? You’re awake because you want to be, hell if you want to get all technical about it, you’re talking to yourself right now…so you CLEARLY have issues.”

Alicia groans again and sits up, dragging herself up and to a sitting position. ”Clearly…so what?......what am I going to do?. If I want to sleep I have to..what?...talk to you?” She groans and shakes her head. ”I choose to sit up and ignore you instead….”

Whitlow scoffs and shakes her head. ”Stubborn…impressively so. But It will still play on your mind and you’ll fail…” She scoffed and turned away from Alicia as Alicia looked over to her. ”You need to learn to use me Alicia, use the fact you can talk to yourself and work out your issues…”

”Seriously?....well can we…not do it out here? Like can you just disappear back in my head or something?”

”.....No”

A cub

”The last time any of you saw me, three months ago, I was a failure…”

Her arms fold over her chest, she leans back against the brick wall and props one of her legs up against it.

”I had an opportunity, and I failed in pursuit of that win and opportunity. I got in that ring and for the most part I did what Alicia Lukas does. I was on the fast track to win. I was ready, willing and able. I stood above Krystal Wolfe and Sam Marlowe, I stood above Diamond Steele and when the dust of that contest settled I was seconds away from being declared the winner. Only to have it stolen away from me by a woman with a steal chair. And what was the end result hmm?”

“Krystal Wolfe forgot the match ever happened, moved on and shrugged it all off. Sam Marlowe has remained largely a mnon factor in SCW and has stayed as a name from the past and irrelevant to the past and future of this company.”

“And Diamond Steele?”

“The woman who stepped up and stole the win and who stopped me from being able to right the damn ship, what did she do? What did she use the win for? Hmmm? She faded away into nothing and now we stand at a point where she might not even be a part of SCW anymore. So I lost for nothing, I lost for a stupid reason to a person who is not even a part of the damn title picture.”

She can’t help but scoff and laugh under her breath moving across the room before turning and sitting down on a chair back to front, leaning her arms over the back as she leans forward.

”And what did I do huh? I had to sit back and watch it all happen, sit back and watch my inability to see Diamond Steele be a sneaky bitch cost me a win. So, I walked. I took time to myself and watched as Zoey continued to climb to higher heights even in a loss to Tempest. But I needed that time away, I needed to look after my sons, to enjoy my life at home, I needed it and I wanted it. But there comes a time for all that to end…”

“And a week ago, that time came. I realised I had to get back here, I had to give this whole company and division a shot in the arm.”

“I know what my goals are, they’re simple, get back to the winning side and try and get a shot at Masque De Lune.”

“Seee, everyone else seems to be getting their shots against her, whether it was before she won the title or after it. They all constantly tried to drag her down, to beat her. And no one seems to have the answer to her. But maybe, just maybe I do. Maybe I can solve the riddle. End her reign of terror…but to do that, well I have to get back to where I was, a place I haven’t been able to go for over two years….two years since I was at the top of this division in this company….”

“I need to change that…”

She smiles and laughs again.

”And Bella Madison can help me. That’s right, I said help me. See, she can help me remember who I am and what I’m about by simply doing one thing. Something I hope Bella is ready to do. She can help me by brining everything she has against me. And for her, that is one of the most simple things in the world. Cause that is what Bella does every single match. Every single fight. It’s something you should all pat attention too. Win or lose Bella Madison leaves it all in the ring and will always know she did her best.”

“And every single opponent knows they’ve been in a fight….whether they beat Bella or not.”

“And that’s what I need from you Bella. I need that level or determination and strength. I need you to get in the ring and test me. Test me in the Wolfslair way. See, you know what that means don’t you? You know that even in training we give it our all and do everything we can to push each other. And lately you have shown a dedication to those ideals that have been stronger than even mine. You have been on a roll and knocking out Crystal was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

“But now, I need you to try and do the same to me. The only problem is, you know damn well I am not like Crystal, you know who you are facing and what I am Bella…but still…I want all you have to offer…I want everything you can do…so please Bella….try and beat me…try and destroy me…it’s the least you can do…”

Cracks

Beep bop boop beep

The ringing tone of the Skype call sound echoes through the hotel room. Alicia blinks a few times, her long blond hair everywhere as she puts one of her legs up onto the chair, a long sleeved oversized Metallica shirt and a pair of small denim shorts on her body as a cup of fresh coffee sits in front of her. The noise keeps going, over and over again. But there is no pickup, Alicia tilts her head, the call ends.

Not Available

She lets out a sigh, pushing off the glass table moving around and running her hands through her head, she looked at her phone, nothing. The silence around her was deafening. The pressure of the room, the walls closing in. Alicia sat down on the end of the couch, her elbows on her knees, her phone in her hands. She opened it, flicking down the list of contacts, facebook messenger, whatsapp, a wolfslair group chat. But there was nothing she could say, even though she had so much she wanted to say. She hated this, all of it. Being away from home, away from her sons, away from her friends. She had her sister, she had the other few members of Wolfslair that had made the India trip. But Miles and Zoey were too busy at the various gyms in every hotel stop, trying to outwork each other before getting food and drink upon drink.

This was the first time in a long time she felt alone. Not just alone, lonely. For most of Alicias life she was around people. Her mother, her brother and sister, then various gyms and other wrestlers. Her relationships, from Chris Cane, to Kaden Kessler, Travis Blake….Michael….

They had always been around her. Even as her relationship ended she still had her sons, she still had Wolfslair.

But now, in a foreign land, without Alex, who was still injured, without Austin who had all but disappeared aside from a few disturbing social media posts following his wife’s tragic death. No Johanna, Alicia found herself even missing the angry German who had been a vicious piece of the puzzle. Out of the original four, the group of Wolfslair not just the gym, she was the final one. She was the one waving the flag, but it was a flag that had faded. Finn Whelan was a part of Wolfslair, Zoey, Miles, Lachlan. All members of the gym but none of them were part of the group.

That was dead and gone.

Buried.

And it had not gone out with a bang. No grand war, no final match where all four of them stood together. It just faded away. She felt it slip and disappear, and there was nothing she could do about it. No changes she could make, no great speech she could give. It was gone. But she hadn’t had time to grieve or mourn the end of it. Until now. Not until she had these quiet moments full of silence sitting alone in an Indian hotel room. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath until a voice startled her.

”Need to talk?”

Alicias eyes sprung open. She looked around, it was the familiar voice of Dr Whitlow. She shook her head, breathing fast as her heart beat started to raise up and move faster, the tempo only matched by the pressure. ”No…no no no no” Her hands started to shake, her body followed, she stood up and paced back and forth. She didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole again, she didn’t want her mind to break and fracture. She didn’t need this pressure. She didn’t need the pain and fear that came with it.

She looked back over at her ope laptop, the small red notification from skype popped up on the icon down near the task bar. She walked over, it was from Alex. She sighed and closed her eyes pressing the icon to call back. The familiar tone, followed by a pickup, on the other end was Alex. He sat in his home office, it was dark outside there, she swallowed hard, forgetting the time difference between them. ”Hey Kid, you ok?”

She swallowed hard, her voice was shaky with her breathing. ”Uh…I don’t know…” She looked down, Alex stayed quiet but he let out a small sigh, he knew something was wrong, he always did. But he always knew when to stay quiet or offer advice, when to push or when to sit back. Alicia shook her head and looked up. ”I just, I feel myself failing…like…failing…as in, I don’t know if I’m even meant to do this anymore.”

Alex just tilted his head and smirked. ”Why?”

Alicia shook her head again and threw her hands up. Almost not believing the question. She cleared her throat and laughed nervously. ”Why?” Alicia turned and [ushed up again pacing back and forth. Her hands fidgeting as she moved around. ”In the last few months I lost to Vargas, to Steele and to Angelos. An over the hill old woman who had never beaten me till that point, now she won’t shut up about it, a never was who spends more time playing rockstar than wrestling and a kid who couldn’t buy a win….and you ask Why?”

Alex shook his head and laughed, Alicia narrowed her eyes and looks right at him. But Alex’s voice raises.”Yeah, why? For years all I have heard out of you is how bad you wanted the Bombshells division to rise up to your level. So now Vargas finds her pride, Steele finds her balls and Angelos steps up and you’re upset about it?”

”Yeah I-”

”You what?...” Alex interrupted. His eyes burning right through Alicias laptop screen. ”You wanted this division to stand up and challenge you, you wanted this. And now here we are. Everyone has stepped up their game, everyone has gotten better. So, now it’s your turn…” He shakes his head and laughs to himself. ”Are you going to just walk away? Or are you going to do what you have been telling EVERY SINGLE OTHER WRESTLER to do the last four years and step up?”

Alicia went silent. The upset and fear she had seemed to melt away and what was left, was shame. Shame that she let a few losses do this to her, shame that she let herself get so petty, and shame for allowing it to spill over onto social media like she had. She closed her eyes and took a breath before nodding. ”Ok, you’re right. I just…I’m going stir crazy. Everything has been spiraling, everything has been just…failing…”

Her voice faded out, Alex swallowed hard and leaned forward with a heavy sigh as if he could feel the pressure of everything he said as well as realising how Alicia felt. ”This isn’t just about the matches is it?......” She stayed silent but shook her head. ”Ok….this is, hard, for everyone. The state of the gym as well as what is happening with some of our members…I get it…and I get you feel alone…but none of us abandoned you.” His voice broke, Alicia swallowed and looked up. ”I’m always here, no matter what….”

He smiled, Alicia took a deep breath and smiled back with a nod. ”Thanks Alex…I’ll see you…and everyone else..when I get back..”

Life is like a box of Candy

”First thing is first…congratulations to Ariana on beating me a few weeks ago.She earned it, she stepped up when I asked her to and she showed the world she is more than just a name on a list. Or a member of the Go gym. Ariana could have a future here. So, I hope after that win, that she can continue her upward swing….”

Alicia swallows and shakes her head trying to pull it all together.

”But, that is for her sake. Not mine. See, Vargas beat me and seemingly won’t let anyone forget about it through various means and ego stroking. And now she gets a little shot out of it. Good for her. Along with Seleana Zdunich. Hey, that’s great, I hope one of them wins it instead of both of them failing like Kate Steele did. And I get it, it’s rich coming from me but this is the issue and an indicative point of context that needs to be said. Women who have been able to beat me get opportunities. And I have been sitting around, thinking about this for a while and I suppose I should be honored right? Being looked at as some kind of semi final boss that stands in the way of others before they can take on the big bad of SCW…”

“I could sit back and enjoy the fact I am seen as the measuring stick of the bombshells division. Or, I can rebuild who I once was. And I get it, I do, I have had a career that so many others would envy. World titles, reigns that have become the stuff of legend. I dominated Honor, I dominated WWH and I dominated here. And after all that I am still looked at with respect and I appreciate that. I could just fade away and be happy with my “spot” But, I see others who have done that. Other women and men who once dominated their respective divisions and now just simply…exist…”

“I am not about that life.”

“I have often talked about Roxi Johnson, and some of it hasn’t been very positive. I have talked about how her whole happy, smiley “hero” character is nothing but a fake bullshit mask that hides the real selfish bitch behind it, and I will stand by my words there. However. She is a woman who could have done what I just suggested. She could have come back to SCW and played the role of respected veteran, having a nice paycheck, a nice spot. That isn’t what happened….”

Alicia smiles and shakes her head, adjusting her shirt as it sits under a black leather biker jacket.

”Roxi didn’t rest on her laurels, she returned, she dominated and is a world champion again. I respect that. I respect what she has done, I respect what she has been capable of. And it is something that I hope to emulate, I just don’t know how. See, in the past when I’ve lost, I’ve gone home, I’ve dissected it and thought about it, I have done everything I can to break down my mistakes and screw ups. And I have risen above it. But lately, lately it hasn’t worked. I have done everything I can to rise above my failures and…I’ve just failed more….”

“So maybe, just maybe I need to change my ideas, change my style, change my attitude. Get back to basics and start from the bottom, and work my way up.”

“And to be honest with all of you, there is no one closer to the bottom, than Candy.”

She laughs and moves her hand through her long blonde hair with a sigh.

”Oh little Candy. It seems as if we have both been sliding down the totem pole of relevancy isn’t it? Oddly enough the last time you and I mattered to this company and this division was when we faced each other. What fun that was eh Candy? You used the glitter, I pretended I was blind because, lets face it, the glitter is a brilliant but incredibly underhanded tactic. And I questioned whether or not you were a secret evil genius pretending to be a moron to get all the fans and management on your side. But, I believe I have the answer to that. I believe you’re an idiot. I believe you are a candy coated dip shit that rain mans her way through life.”

“You are, the wrestling Forrest Gump.”

“The wrestling I am Sam.”

“And whenever someone calls you out on it, you have your husband Marcus say evil mean things about them because you are to cowardly to say any of these things yourself. The worst thing I have ever heard you say is calling people a “meanie head”. You are a grown woman who spends her days with a man who spends more time on his body than he does on your marriage and a fluffball dog that has a higher IQ than you.”

“And now you are coming back to face me again. You are two and zero against me in the last year Candy. Twice this year you did everything you could to beat me and twice you failed.”

Alicia shrugs and paces back and forth.

”Of course, you could beat me. Somehow. But while Vargas, Steele and Angelos turned their wins over me into something you wouldn’t. See, aside from a few Roulette title wins you have had a career that can be described as mediocre. And that’s honestly all you are. Mediocre. Mediocre in the ring, on the mic and as a GM you sucked. You came up with the stupidest most mind numbing matches any of us had ever seen. And here’s the thing Candy, I don’t blame you. Getting angry at you for doing something mind numbingly dumb would be like getting angry at a dog pissing on your floor…”

“And I have already rubbed your nose in it twice and tossed you out the fucking door.”

“And I find myself needed to do it again. I find myself in need of a win, in need of a restart. And as I said, I’ve hit rock bottom Candy, and so have you. All we heard from management was “Candy is coming back” and after all the build and people talking, you arrived, you got in the ring and you failed. You failed miserably. Yeah just like I have over the last month or so, but Alicia Lukas is not a joke, I am not going to be the gatekeeper or the measuring stick of the SCW womens division. I am going to be the comeback story of 2022. The returning hero, the goddamn beast I used to be. I will scratch and claw my way back to the top and I will step on whoever I need to. And that starts with you…”

It’s a work

She’d been distant. Even more distant than normal. But with everything going on it seems as if Alicia had slipped through the cracks. The day to day operations at Wolfslair went on as they would normally. People arrived, they trained, they would go off to various events, they would return. Like clockwork everything went on as normal. And even though she was now mentally stronger, a better version of the woman she always wanted to be, she was disturbed.

For months she lied to herself. She went to a room and talked through her own issues in a delusion. She watched her marriage fall apart, she bent down and picked up the pieces. And as those pieces got put back together, as her life started to come back to where she needed it to be and she rose like a phoenix from the ashes, the delusion cracked, crumbled and became the lie she could now see clearly.

Ironic, now everything tasted sweeter, the air was clearer, everything seemed calm.

But now the real work was ready to begin. She was in contact with her family, being a daughter, sister and mother. But her career needed saving. She had been going through ther motions. Letting her emotions get the better of her. Every week it was the same thing, it was the same ride. And the problem with rides, is that eventually they get boring.

So now, she knew what needed to happen.

She swallowed hard looking over at Alex’s office. It had been so long since she had a one on one with the owner and head trainer of Wolfslair New York, so long since she had just sat down and shot the shit. She pushed the door open, Alex smiled and gave her a nod to let her know to come in. Alicia moved around sitting across his desk, sliding her hands into the pockets of her black and red Wolfslair hoodie. Alex looked over a piece of paper, sliding it into the pile on his right before moving the pile on his left to the edge of his desk.

He looked up with a smirk and shrugged. ”What can I do for you?”

”Well, I’m just wondering what the plan is for Wolfslair?”

There was a small silence, Alex raised his eyebrows. Almost surprised Alicia would ask him and be interested in this. ”Well, we are continuing to grow and show visibility. Orlando is growing too and soon Austin is going to take a trip out there to train with a few of the talents they have, some interesting prospects I might get Mark and Chris to have a look at too.”

Now it was Alicia that was surprised, she twisted her lips into a pout, moving her hands forward onto the desk with a laugh under her breath. ”Not the gym…the group?”

”The what?”

Alicia rolled her eyes before sitting back in the chair and throwing her hands in the air. ”The group, in SCW. You, Austin, Me, Johanna…” Alex just blinked a few times, Alicia sat forward getting closer. ”Ring a bell?”

Alex cleared his throat and shook his head. ”Alicia. The group is done…” Silence. Alex stared ahead, Alicia narrowed her eyes and laughed shaking her head in a dismissive way. ”I’m serious. I don’t know when I’ll be back competing. I’m hurt Ali.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes again. ”I know you’re working everyone Alex and I-”

”No I’m not…this is legit…” He paused again, Alicia shook her head almost refusing to believe it. Alex pushed to his feet, wincing as he did moving around the office nowhere near as freely as you’d expect. ”I haven’t even been training. Austin has been doing alot of it…but with…with what he’s been through I….look…my focus is the gym..”

Alicia looked away and let out a small sigh before moving next to him. ”Well, I guess I should talk to Johanna..she and I will work something out….I need backup to makesure Diamonds gem hoes don’t get in my way…”

Alex shook his head and looked out the window to Johanna, she was standing next to Kalisto Reznik, the two chatting away about a few things. ”Johanna didn’t sign a new contract….she’s no longer in SCW…”

”WHAT?...y’all mother fuckers have a team meeting without me to decide this shit?” Alex turned away and moved back to the desk, obviously done with Alicias shit, Alicia closed her fists and turned back to him. ”Look, I’ve been a little distracted lately, I can see that. But still, Austin is barely here, you’re hurt, Johanna bounced, suddenly I’m alone and I just picked a fight with a bitch who is going to bring her whole crew after me..” Alex looked unimpressed. ”I could take out one or two..but all of them at once?..I’m good Alex but I’m not that good.”

Alex laughed to himself and looked down with a sigh. ”Well…I suppose you better make ther plans…I’m sure you’ll think of something..”

Alicia growled and waved her hand lightly to signal she got it. She moved out from the office closing the door behind her. She moved along the mats and passed Johanna and Kallie giving them a small nod, she moved out into the locker room, grabbing her phone from her bag she stepped outside unlocking it, her thumb hovered over the call icon for what seemed like an eternity. ”Ahhh fuck it…”

RING RING

RING RING

”Hey…..I got an employment opportunity….I need you to be in Cali….Sunday morning…”

All according to plan

”I suppose some of you are expecting me to offer up some kind of apology for what I said on Climax Control right?”

Alicia shakes her head, a small smile on her lips as her bright blue eyes stare forward, unfeeling, uncaring, almost vacant of any emotion.

”You ain’t getting shit.”

“See, I wewnt out there and I said a whole bunch of shit I needed to get off my chest. Not everything, but just enough. For years I have had to deal with entitled weakling and morons who feel the need to tell us all how great they are when they don’t actually have any right being on the same card asd me, let alone the same company. I have heard Jessie Salco run her mouth for months and years about title shots and championships…”

“I’ve watched her go one and a hundred in title matches and still get opportunity after opportunity while then, in the same breath chastising me for taking an opportunity I earned.”

“I have been spat on and disrespected by everyone in this company, so when I heard what happened with Vargas and Steele, well I had to say something. And it speaks volumes that the men in charge of SCW not only allowed me to do it, actively encouraged me to.”

“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

“So no, I’m not going to ap;ologise, in fact I’m going to double down. Everything I said was true. Everything I said was right, and I have a bigger issue with Diamond and her gemstones and at Climax control I will be confronting Diamond, and I will tell her to her goddamn face what I feel. But, before I can do what, well I have to get in the ring and face the other woman who got some of that verbal venom. And I hope to god that before she speaks she actually listens to what I said, and takes it into her head that the bosses are clearly as pissed off with her as I am..”

Alicia takes a moment, showing a little emotion now as she clears her throat and stands up straight.

”Oh Mercedes. What have you done huh? I’m going to sit here by the way and watch you try and explain away why you decided to dip on the company last week. I’m going to wait for you to try and justify it in any way that you can. I dunno, your aunt died? Youre neighbors cat needed a hysterectomy? You got your period?...oh..wait, that one you can’t yse. Menopause is a bitch huh?”

“But I will wait with baited breath for you to go through what I said on climax control and try asd pick it apart, maybe chastise me for making a comment about your age, I dunno. Truthfully, I hope I look as good as you when I’m sixty. But, Christian and Mark decided it would be a good idea to put us in the ring against each other. Possibly for me to teach you a lesson, I’m not sure.”

“Naybe, just maybe they’ll hope I can break your fingers.”

“Then we all wouldn’t have to watch you repost old SCW Climax controls on twitter as a way to relive your faded glory days and youth. Or to stop you from constantly retweeting shit about crappy New York sports teams. The rangers suck, the Giants suck, the jets suck and so sdo the fucking knocks and no one except you gives a shit about them, just stop.”

“But maybe I’m being too hard on you. I mean my mother hasn’t figured out how to use facebook yet, maybe that’s all this is, technology moving so fast can be scary Mercy..”

She chuckles and shakes her head.

”But here’s the thing, one criticism of me that I have taken to heart and I respect is that, maybe, just maybe I have been living in the past, reminding people what I’ve done constantly and you know, maybe they’re right. See, I don’t want to be like you Mercedes, where that is all I have. Where I am just sitting there and constantly retweeting old shows and mentioning history because that is all I have. I don’t want that, and I don;’t want to turn into you.”

“I have other names I need to get to but I have been placed in front of you fuirst and you have been named as a sacrifice to me. See, Chris and Mark are smart.”

“They know I am still money in professional wrestling. They know I am still a name and I can deliver. So they want me to go out there and beat the hell out of you, they want me to tear you down with everything from cheap jokes about age, to straight cuts about your living in the past, and if there is one person in this company who lives their glories more than me, it’s you.”

“But, that is the difference between us. I have recognised I need to look toward the future. You haven’t learned that lesson Mercy, you just keep going about the same shit over and over again. But, only the stuiff that suits you. See, I never hear you admitting to the factthat I have your number and always have.”

“I don’t hear you admitting to the fact I climbed the ladder in WWH when it meant something while you failed even as the company burned. I don’t hear you reminding people that in Honor wrestling I beat you in every way possible and I don’t hear you admitting to the fact in SCW I have been your fucking daddy since day one…”

Alicia gets animated now, filling herself with confidence and a smile.

”You need to learn Mercedes, without learning you don’t grow and you have been stagnant for years. You have been a great servant for this company and have done it all. And I told you last time we faced each other that you lacked passion, that you had become complacent. And I was right then and I’m right now because nothing has changed.”

“About the only nice thing I can say about you is that you’re still here..”

“No matter how much you lose, no matter how many times you fail to climb back to the top of the mountain you still stay in SCW out of loyalty. You don’t take your ball and go home like your name is Myra Rivers..no..Mercedes Vargas is SCW through and through. And that Vrgas, that I can respect…or atl;east I could…till ya pissed it all away..”

The Legal Problem

He had so much to do. He had friends to help, a house to renovate, children to raise, friendships to keep in focus, but all of it had to wait for this. There are some things in life that are just more important – times where you need to be there for certain people in need to do things and go above and beyond what you would for anyone else.

This was one of those times for Austin. It was a day that he and his sister had both been dreading. A day where they would have to justify their legal battle against the parents of Amy’s ex, the grandparents of her son.

Austin let out a deep sigh, his hands moving up to push the top of his tie towards his collar, pulling down on the shorter thinner part of it. He took a step back and looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a custom tailored black suit, a tie tucked into his suit blazer as he did the buttons at the front. His long hair tied back and kept in a mid level bun and his beard trimmed.

He gave himself a nod, trying to build up his confidence.

But the truth was he didn’t have any. He was going into a courtroom to support his sister, and while she was of a normal size and build, a beautiful girl but also normal looking, Austin was far from normal. Six foot six and a hulking build. Muscles upon muscles. Long hair and a beard with a look in his eye that made most people fear him.

But he made a promise. He turned and looked down at his shoes, the black leather shining as he gave a small smile. His father would’ve loved the shoes, and the suit. All the times that Christian had tried to get Austin to dress up and this was only the second time he could bring himself to do it. First time with his wedding, the day that he and Lisa were joined together as a family. And now this time. A time to support the only other person on earth that really knew what it was like to grow up the way he did. His sister who had gone through so much and made so much progress yet still had been dragged down to a level that was beneath them both.

That was a dark time in her life; a rebellion to reclaim adolescence that she felt she never truly had after being locked away. Amy had gone on her own pilgrimage of self-discovery. She fell in love with the wrong man, and the result of that was the birth of the child. The child that was not brought into the world because of love but a child who was now loved. He had a loving mother, a loving aunt, a loving uncle and cousins ready to grow up with him like they were siblings.

The bathroom door clicked and swung open. Lisa stepped in. Her hair done, wearing a beautiful dress and grabbing a jacket so she would cover up most of her tattoos. A small smile came across her lips as she tilted her head looking at her husband up and down before placing her finger on her bottom lip.

Austin just shook his head and folded his arms over his large chest. ”See something you like?” He couldn’t help but laugh, Lisa blushed and shook her head. A small smile coming across Austin slipped now as he was impressed with his ability to still make his wife look at him like a nervous teenager.

Lisa stepped forward reaching up to check Austin's tie. She stood just under his chin even in her six inch heels. Lisa was a tall woman, but when it came to her husband, she always seemed to be dwarfed by his large frame. Austin leaned forward, planting a kiss on Lisa‘s lips that was meant to be a small moment of affection. Lisa wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pushed herself against him, kissing him deeply.

After a few moments Austin pulled back and smiled.“Unfortunately we have somewhere to be.”

Lisa chuckled and gave her husband a small nod. She turned and left the door before looking over her shoulder one last time. “I know you’re nervous. I get it . I can see it in your eyes. But...Amy needs you today…” Austin sighed hard and bowed his head. A second later, he looked in the mirror one last time as Lisa stepped out of the room.

She was right. He was nervous. He was going into a courtroom, with lawyers and a judge. The person, the people, who were going to hold the future of Amy and her child in their hands. And Austin was expected to be the star character witness when it came to Amy and who she was. He knew all the things that they could bring up, but didn’t know what they would choose to use. Amy’s past had always been something contentious, as it could have been with any massive family. Christian trying to hide what she had done, Austin finding the truth, but Amy not being able to accept it and wanting to grow in her life and have her own outlook.

The past was never the past. It could always come back and hurt you. And that is what Austin was worried about. Her past coming back to hurt her, Amy not being able to have that second chance that she had fought tooth and nail for. That is what Austin had to do. He had to stand there and be honest and tell every single person who would listen and convince them that Amy was not just a suitable mother, but she was an excellent one.

He felt pressure.

Austin closed his eyes taking a long deep breath. He held it in his lungs as his mind flashed backwards and forwards for everything he had done. His own life and his own struggles. Losing his mother, losing his father, fighting for his sister. The alcohol abuse, the abusive ex, everything he had gone through and grown through. He was strong enough to do this.

And he refused to let his sister down.

Godly

”Eenie meenie miney mo, Max Burke tried to beat me that was way too slow.”

Austin can’t help but chuckle to himself. He raises his right hand, moving his hair from his face and sliding it behind his ear before stepping forward and putting his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. A black and red Wolfslair shirt proudly on display.

”I told you all. I told you that as good as Max was, if he wanted to keep climbing that ladder and get back to a World Championship opportunity against Mac, he would have to go through me first. He would have to show me and all of you, as well as management that he was ready to shoulder the possibilities and pressure of being in the Main Event at this company. Not everyone can handle that kind of pressure. I can handle that kind of pressure, Ben Jordan can handle that kind of pressure. Alex can handle that pressure and so can Fenris. And as much as I hate to admit it, Mac has also proven himself as a champion worthy of being the one to hold the entire company on his shoulders.”

“Max Burke was not ready to stand in the spotlight. But the question is still hanging over me like a dark cloud. Where do I go from here? Where does my destiny lie in this company? I could turn my focus towards Mac and work my way up to a single one-on-one opportunity for that world championship. After all, the old adage is that if you are not in professional wrestling to be the champion and prove that you are the best thing…you should not be here.“

“However, I have already been to the top of the mountain. I stood there and watched as everyone was scrambling over themselves trying to get at me. That is another thing that so many people are not prepared for – they are not prepared for the target that you have painted on your back when you are a champion. As a world champion, a mixed tag team champion as well as the Internet champion of this company, I knew what it was to hold those championships and have everyone gunning for me.“

“It is the same everywhere you go. It is easier for you to win a championship that it often is to keep it and if you look at the championship history of Sin City Wrestling, with every single championship, there have been so many names on that list where they did not deserve to be the champion. They didn’t deserve to win it and they prove that by losing it in less than a month or in their first defense.”

Austin folds his arms over his chest with a small smile coming across his lips.

“That hasn’t been my problem. When I have held the championship I have made damn sure that I do that title proud. I did it with the honor championship before I came to this company. When I became the world champion I did everything I could to uphold the quality that those before me had set. I did it with the Internet Championship and I made that championship with something and every single champion who has been held since has failed miserably to live up to my standard. Tempest and I held those mixed tag team championships of pride and tried to face and beat everyone who stepped in front of us.”

“I am what you would call…a beast.“

“Six-six, two-sixty-five. I can move like someone a hundred pounds lighter than me, I can throw anyone in this company around the ring. I am not someone to be taken lightly and I’d like to think that my opponent this week isn’t stupid enough to make that kind of mistake. Ken Davison.”

“A Man who exemplifies the term ‘veteran’.”

“I know you can. I know that you have been a huge name in so many of the companies that you’ve been in. Hell, you were even a very brief tag team partner for Alex.. to say that you have been everywhere and done everything is an understatement. Championships and huge matches and pay-per-view numbers. The whole wrestling world had to you want to play because of how good you are.”

He flashes a smile and a respectful nod. His head tilted to the side as he contemplated what to say next.

”And all the respect that you are given in this company and anywhere else you go is definitely earned. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I cannot and will not take you lightly. I know you could beat me, I might be a lot bigger than you, stronger than younger than you and in this company had more success than you, but I am not going to fall into the same trap that so many others do and discount your past and who you are as a human being and a person. Despite anything you have said and your actions, you are most definitely someone who should be respected.”

“You could be the World Champion here. You are definitely good enough but I don’t think that some of the people in this company give you enough credit. From aligning yourself with Mac to winning the Internet Championship, you have shown your work. However, you are also one of the people who failed to take the Internet Championship and bring it to the heights that I did when I held it.”

“I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

“That championship holds a special place in my heart. This company announced that it was coming back active and I was the first man to hold it since it was reinstated. I knew that that championship needed a strong champion to push it forward and to make it as our prize and that’s exactly what I did. I had that target on my back and I defended it through anyone and everyone only to watch that championship that was handed to people and get passed around. Then, you won it.”

Austin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath calming himself.
 
”And for a brief shining moment I thought that the championship was going to be held by someone who would take it on a long run and restore the prestige that I have tried to give it. But, two months later you lost it to Jack Washington. There is no love lost between myself and Jack, despite the fact that he has been the World Champion at this company twice. The truth is he is still the same snot-nosed little disrespectful piece of shit that he’s always been.”

“He doesn’t know the meaning of respect.”

“But I do Ken...”

“I plan on showing you. You see, I’m going to give you the respect that you deserve by walking down to that room punching you in the mouth as hard as I can. I’m going to give you the respect you deserve by treating you exactly the same as I treat everyone else I face. I am coming for the win,I am coming to kick you right in the head, pick you up and powerbomb you to the mat, drive the air from your body so you can’t breathee. And being a veteran I’m going to guess that you felt that before.”

“The feeling of all the air being pushed out of your lungs. Staring up at those lights not being able to breathe in and not being able to feel like you can live. It is a horrible feeling. And it’s one we all have to live with, one being a professional in this business. As good as you are, I need this. And I like you. I do. I like your outlook on the business, I like your ruthless determination and pursuit of greatness. But I like winning more. So at Climax Control, you are gonna see what it’s like to face someone who was one of the most dominant champions this company has ever had. And I hope you’re ready, because you will need to be.”

Session 18: The beginning of the end

”So, we haven’t talked about Michael”

”There’s a reason for that”

She delivered the line bluntly. No emotion, no hesitation. Just a flat delivery with a raised eyebrow. Dr Whitlow huffed under her breath and scribbled on the paper. Alicia just shook her head and turned looking toward the door. Her hands clasped together as she let out an indignant grunt. Something felt off, different. Something in Alicia had changed. The last few months, seeing her Doctor, they had helped.

Confronting things from her past, all the ghosts and demons, it made her realise who she was. Not a victim of her mistakes, but a product of them. It had given her a fresh outlook, but this was one road she didn’t feel the need to walk down. One that she didn’t want to. The wound was still open and fresh, still bleeding. And it made her uneasy, uncomfortable. And it was in a way that she didn’t want to controint. But, that never stopped Whitlow.

”Violet” Her name. It inflamed her anger. Her fists clenched as she folded her arms over her chest. A few deep breaths and she was able to calm herself down. ”Michael is the last barrier. The last moment in your life that is causing you regret. If you face it…you’ll be able to move on..”

”From what?”

Her bright blue eyes trailed up to look the aging woman in the face. Dr Whitlow. Someone who Alicia had looked up to for the last few months, someone she had grown close to now seemed to look like what she was. A frail old woman. ”If you examine what happened, maybe you can mend the rift.” Her voice trailed off. Alicia pushed herself up from the chair moving around the office.

She refused to lay down, refused to revisit this as deeply as Dr Whitlow wanted. Infact she was holding it back,m pushing it down into the pit of her stomach. She ground her teeth together and growled. Whitlow shook her head and took her glasses off, putting them on the desk next to her. ”I thought I was supposed to confront my failures…this wasn’t MY failure. And there it was, the reason why she refused to walk down that path, to confront this one. In her mind she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Dr Whitlow stayed calm, her hands sitting in her lap as she tilted her head, her long salt and pepper hair tied back and clipped high. Her eyes, a similar shade of blue to Alicias seemed to glow as she sighed. ”It was still a pivotal moment…and one you havn’t talked about. Michael was the reason you came here….and three months ago your marriage all but ended…” She sat higher in her chair, relaxing her shoulders. ”So let’s examine why…”

There was a tense moment of silence between them. Alicia looked away and shook her head. After some time, she turned and gave a nod to the old woman. Still not happy about this, but understanding why, she sat down, leaning forward on her own knees, balancing her elbows as she clasped her hands together again, her golden locks dangling down as she took in a long deep breath. ”He….always wanted another child…maybe even a girl…”

His touch was soft and tender, his strong jaw lines framing a youthful face that betrayed his age and wisdom. His fingertips danced along her cheekbone, sliding her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to kiss her. The laughter of her sons stopped the moment. Rory and Ryan ran passed with a few other children they had made friends with. The park was full, families were out enjoying the sunshine. Alicia smiled watching them, Michael sat up and grabbed a bottle of water twisting the top and handing it to Alicia. She raised it and winced before switching from her right arm to the left.

”How long until you see the orthopedic surgeon?” Alicia shrugged as she took a sip, Michael shook his head and pulled his knees to his chest. ”Are you even going to? Or are you just going to rehab it and hope for the best?” Alicia shot him a look and sighed, Michael shook his head back and put his hand on top of hers to get her attention. Frustrated by her unwillingness to answer his questions. ”Are you afraid? Afraid that they’ll tell you it’s time to retire?...would that be so bad Ali?”

”No…I mean, yes. I’d be sad but….if I had to give it up I could.” She was lying. Michael knew it. He could see it in her eyes.

He looked over at the boys and smiled calmly, his demeanor changing as he squeezed her hand again. ”If you couldn’t, or if surgery would limit your movement and do more damage….would retiring be that bad?. We could..try for a baby.” And there it was. Michael and Alicia had talked about this before. When they got married he asked if she wanted more children, at the time she said yes, but as the months moved on to years Alicia realised that she had so much more to do, to accomplish.

Things she couldn’t do if she took two years off to have another child.

Michael stared, his eyes asking the same question over andf over. Alicia closed her eyes, she wanted to tell him, she needed to tell him. She got the courage up into her chest and turned to him. But the second she looked into her eyes, she faltered. ”I….” He tilted his head, squeezing her hand again as she looked down at their wedding rings, sitting on top of one another as their hands stayed locked. She moved back up to his face, leaning in for a small kiss on his lips, pulling back with a tender smile. ”I’ll talk to them Monday. And I’ll see what my options are. Maybe it is time. But I just don’t know…”

She smiled weakly, it was her trying to pass off how she felt. Michael swallowed hard, his smile faded, his shoulders dropped and his back arched. He was clearly upset. But, he hid it. He pushed it down and gave Alicia a small smile and a njod before leaning forward and placing his forehead against hers with a laugh. ”If you and I are meant to have a child then..I guess it’s in fates hands right?” Alicia smiled and gave another nod. Rory and Ryan laughed. Alicia looked over at them, the other children laughing and smiling.

Part of her wanted it.

But, another part of her didn’t…

”You could have told him then…”

Dr Whitlow sighed heavily, Alicia cleared her throat and shrugged turning toward her. ”Yeah, I could have. But part of me didn’t really know, or didn’t want accept it.” She looked away again, closing her eyes as she remembered the pain, the pain in her shoulder, the pain in her heart. That moment, where she could of broken Michzaels heart but maybe saved her marriage. ”I love…loved him. I did…but sometimes that just isn’t enough.”

She paused, that was a moment in time, but not the moment. Dr Whitlow finished her note, put the pad down and sighed with a shake of her head, removing her glasses and rubbing her tired o0ld eyes. ”Next time…I need you to tell me what ended it…can you do that?...it’s the only way you can know if you really want to be a wife in the future..or a mother.”

Alicia ground her teeth and turned, a switch had been flipped and she stepped toward Dr Whitlow, leaning down to get to the old woman face. ”I am going to make one thing, ONE FUCKING THING perfectly clear. I was happy as a wife, and I am a great mother. I love my sons, I would DIE for them. But nobody, not my mother, my father, my ex boyfriends or husbands, or my kids…or YOU…can tell me what I am supposed to do with my goddamn life…”

The situation seemed out of control, Alicia felt rhe anger in her build up, her head ached and felt as if someone was squeezing her temples. She stepped back, her hands were shaking. Dr Whitlow stood up and smiled with a small nod raising her hands up/ ”It’s alright Alicie…it’s alright…..go home..get some rest…we can pick this up next time…” Alicia swallowed hard again and gave a nod, moving passed D rWhitlow, she was so tired, so tired of all of it.

She just wanted to sleep….

A melted Candy

”You’re all blind….which is ironic isn’t it?”

Alicia sighs heavily, her hands moving up through her long blond hair as she grunts and pushes herself up to her feet.

”I have told you all that she is evil. That she is someone who cannot and must not be trusted. But do any of you listen to me? Do any of you take what I say as truth? See the last few months I have been dedicated to eradicating not just stupidity but undue arrogance from Sin City Wrestling. Now, I know there are questions about Wolfslair and our future. Let me be very clear about this. Wolfslair as an idea, as a gym, as a movement will always be there. But, as group? Well that is different.”

“Thing is, I have never needed that side of it. Alicia Lukas is a star, a bright shining star and one of the best professional wrestlers on this goddamn planet. And when I am done wiping Candy off the bottom of my boot I will turn my attention back to what I deserve. What I need.”

“The Sin City Wrestling Bombshells title.”

“See, for the last few months I have been lost. Wandering around in a haze of not remembering who and what I am while also allowing myself to just simply, exist. Think about that, one of the most dominant women in this company and I was happy to just exist. See that’s what this business does to you. It chews you up, it spits you out. It forces you to no longer be special. And that’s the thing, there are only a handful of women in this company that feel special.”

She laughs to herself. Shaking her head as the realisation hits her.

”Amber, Roci, Myself, Andrea, Myra. We all feel special. Like we have accomplished things that so many others have struggled to do. But Andrea is fading, Roxi has had to pull herself back up in resurrection after getting her tenth or eleventh shot at Amber. And AMber herself. A woman who broke my records. What does she do now? Where does she go? Everyone else in this company who has felt special, Mikah, Dani even Crystal at one point, they have all fallen into mediocrity. And I was letting it happen to me…”

“And I will be really honest with all of you. I was not okay with that. Not at all. So, as I stood and watched a woman who has nothing special about her get handed the fucking keys to SCW my stomach tuened. Candy got to make decisions that impacted people who were infinitely more talented than her. She got to make stupid matches with stupid stimpulations that made a fool of mpeople like myself. Real wrestlers, real women who live and breathe for the combat. Candy got to try and make us all look foolish.”

“And we all had to sit there and eat it.”

“Learn to love the taste of shit indeed.”

“And I have had to watch this idiotic piece of shit stumble through her career and somehow stay employed, stay popular and in some cases succeed. All while doing things that if others did, they’d get vilified for. Straight up made into pariahs and destroyed. Yet, she does what she wants. Little miss Candy is so innocent and so amazing right? The glitter is nothing but a fun little gimmick that is just so fucking pretty and doesn’t hurt anybody…”

She rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. Alicia’s look, demeanor and attitude in stark contrast to Candy. Alicia's long blond hair flowing down her back and shoulders, down her leather biker jacket and black T-shirt with the logo of the Swedish rock band Ghost.

”Until it does. And not only does the glitter present a danger to your eyes but, it is a cheat. It’s a cheap cheating move that everyone turns a blind eye to. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind right? Well Candy is not going to get revenge on me. She is not going to get her pound of flesh and walk away with a win. And why? Because Candy is simply not good enough. However, the fact that this has to take place with us both blindfolded is fitting but also a joke.I would love to see what I am going to do to Candy…cause everything I am prepared to do…is well worth it…”

“She’s a joke, and not even a funny joke that can be passed off as fun or charming. She is the type of joke your aging Aunt tells you when you’re five years old that you cackle like a lunatic at. Only to still be her go to joke when you’re 12 years old…that you now roll your eyes and and just want to stop hearing.”

“She’s such a bad joke, Will Smith is warming up his pimp hand as we speak…”

“Is that topical enough for y’all? But the fact remains, Candy is someone who so many of us can’t stand. From the happy go lucky attitude, to the stupid glitter, to her ugly fucking dog, the truth with Candy is that she isn’t talented so she has to use this stupid shit to stay relevant in a world that has moved on from rainbows and unicorn farts.”

She speaks through gritted teeth, her bright blue eyes flash with fire and anger. She slams her fist on the table, it causes the can of Monster energy on the table to shake.

”And the worst part about you Candy? You can’t even stand up for yourself. You were in a match in the blast from the past and your focus was on me. Well, Marcus' focus was on me. And he was the one who unleashed a tirade on me. You left lame traps ansd smiled and did you usual idiot behavior. Meanwhile your husband decided to run his mouth. And the truth is Candy, there is a small amount of truth in what he said.”

“I am jealous of you.”

“I am jealous of the fact that you can be such a huge joke, do stupid things that would get others thrown out and somehow get handed opportunities week in and week out. I am jealous of the fact you are universally loved when all you do is make a fool of yourself and a mockery of the wrestling business. Everything you do is a offense to me and people like me. Women who bleed and sweat and dedicate themselves to the purity of professional fucking wrestling.”

She shakes her head and looks away, growling under her breath before looking up, her nostrils flare as she tilts her head.

”I hate you…I hate you with everything I am.”

She pauses again letting her words sink in before standing up straight and folding her arms over her chest.

”Blindfold or not, joke or not I am going to get in that ring and do everything I can to hurt you, to break you and to put my mark on this business again. Because you Candy are nothing but a stepping stone back to where I need to be, where I deserve to be. This isn’t about the internet title, the mixed tag team titles or the roulette titles. No, not at all. This is all to bring me back up to that one title that really matters, the championship that everyone wants to hold yet so few people are capable of.”

“The Sin City Wrestling bombshells title. A championship that will never, ever be in Candys possession. A title she can’t even get a shot at because she will never be good enough to pull herself to that level, to become the star that I am.”

“Honestly, Candy you should be thanking me. You should get on your knees and hand me all your goddamn skittles and junior mints and milk duds and whatever else you have because I am dragging you, kicking and screaming up the card to a higher level than you would ever. EVER. Reach on your own. Or with your idiot husband talking for you.”

“And trust me on this. If he utters my name again, I will drag his titred, broken down, needs viagra to compensate ass down to the ring and I’ll make him my bitch.”

“But, in Greece, you and I will have our eyes hidden, we will get in the ring and I will break you in half. Because that is what you deserve, that is what you need and that is what I want. Good luck Candy, you’ll need it against me.”