”You did good kid.”
Sweat poured from off of a young Alicia Lukas. She stood up and breathed deep over and over again. Trying to catch her breath and composure was hard. Especially in the summertime, in this small warehouse of upstate New York. It was Wolfslair, but not the modern Wolfslair we all knew, filled with young stars and veterans alike, this was smaller, more intimate. Very few people were here training, a few familiar faces, long term members. But the one we focused on is Alicia. Standing with her back against the wall, a pool of sweat on the grapple mats as Alex gave her a nod.
She moved into the small lockeroom, running her hands through her hair, she pulled out an old ADIDAS gym bag, she unzipped it and pulled out an envelope. She closed her eyes and looked at it, obviously wanting to open it but hesitating. Alex moved in behind her, wrapping his arms over his chest, folding them over as he tilts his head looking at her. ”Expecting bad news?”
Alicia jumped, her hands moving the envelope as she turned but quickly realising there was no reason too, he’d seen it. She sighed and looked down before bringing it back up in one hand. ”Its my SCW contract.” Alex gave asmall nod and Alicia turned around sitting down in the bench in front of the lockers, her hands coming up to her face after sher placed the envelope down next to her. ”I don’t know if I should sign it…”
”Why not?” Alex raised an eyebrow as he asked the question, leaning against the opposite row.
She swallowed hard and looked up at him with a forlorn sigh.”It might hurt someone I care about and I-”
Alex interrupted putting his hand up. ”Hey look, my personal feelings about the Honor and SCW merger are mine Ali, it has nothing to do with you. Shit Austin has already signed his contract he's ready to go.”
Alicia shook her head and gave him a small smile and stood up. ”It’s not that…” She looked over at her locker, her phone lighting up as Alicia noticed the time and shook her head. ”Michael, he…wants us to have more kids now that we’re married. And I’m not ready. I told him when I was done wrestling and he seems to think because Honor is folding into SCW that it’s time”
”And what do you think?”
She cleared her throat and gave a small shrug. ”I’m not done with this business yet, I don’t know when I will be. And he’s being…pushy.” She paused and leaned forward, Alex stayed silent letting Alicia go and get it out. ”But, I don’t know what to do…I don’t know if my career can go higher.”
Alex scoffed and moved toward Alicie, leaning down and picking up the envelope, opening it up and looking over it. ”The sky is the limit with you kid. You can go as far as you want to. But, Michael, you love him and if he loves you he will respect your wishes, and drop this. If he doesn’t…if he can’t understand…well…it will destroy you…” He cleared his throat, folding up the contract and handing it back to Alicia, he was speaking from experience.
”You really think I can go far?...that I can go even higher than I already have?...”
Alex exhaled and laughed under his breath. ”As long as you don’t lose yourself?...there’s nothing that can stop you…”
The words echoed in her head. As long as you don’t lose yourself. That was a problem. She had lost herself. She had lost everything about herself that made her special. Taken away from her by a personal life and mental instability that had dragged her down, it had dragged everything down. She could feel the water pour from her body, similar to how the sweat had all those years ago. Her long blond hair was stuck to her back as she sat in the shower, letting the warm water go over her skin as she tried to hold back tears.
Why was she like this?
Why did everything seem to dark? Like there was nothing she could do right? And why is it that she couldn’t admit it to anyone? Only herself in her darkest moments. Like now, as she sat alone, her sons in bed fast asleep, at three am, in tears. She was tired, so tired, it was exhausting having to smile and put on the mask every single day. To go into the gym and smile and train, to fly out to wherever SCW was and perform like nothing was wrong.
Everything was wrong. Everything was making her tired. Maybe, just maybe everyone would be better off if she just walked away. Left the wrestling business, retired, walked from the gym and all her friendships. Maybe it was time to try and simply be a mother to her sons, a daughter to her mother and a sister to her siblings. Maybe it was time to leave Alicia Lukas behind and simply be who she was born to be.
Violet Maxwell.
She threw her head back, the thud of the back of her skull hitting the tile echoed in the bathroom, over the sound of the running water, her eyes welled up with tears. Without this, without wrestling….
”Who am I?”
”Pathetic?
Her head shot up, sitting outside the shower, on the small chair Alicie kept in the corner to place her dry clothes on, was Dr Whitlow. Instantly her heart sank, she pushes her body against the tiles and closed her eyes as tight as she could. The same mantra running through her head over and over again You are not real
”Not in the physical sense I’m not. But that doesn’t really matter does it?” Alicia opened her eyes, the frustration taking hold as she reached up, turning the water off before pushing to her feet and stepping onto the b athmat, reaching over to grab a towel.
She snarled at Dr Whitlow, who was still wearing the same light grey suit she was always in, the same hairstyle, the same everything since the day they “met”. ”Pity, you could of helped and handed me the goddamn towel.”
Whitlow turned her nose up. ”Little miss identity crisis is getting snarky now? You’re talking to your imaginary therapist and giving me lip…”
Alicia rolled her eyes and dried herself off before throwing the towel at the chair Whitlow was on, but as soon as the towel left her hand, the Doctor wasn’t there. Alicia sneered and laughed to herself. ”So that’s how I get rid of you” She grabbed her underwear, training shorts and a shirt pulling the top over her head.
”No…”
Alicia throw her hands in the air and turned around sitting on the chair, grabbing a pair of socks and her shoes pulling them on in a huff. ”Look, I don’t know why the hell you’re here, or rather why my subconscious feels the need to torture me, but I’m going for a run befoere making breakfast for my boys, so if you want to keep on destroying my self worth and sanity…you’ll have to come with me..”
Dr Whitlow shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. ”I think we’re good for today, I got you off the bathroom floor and ready to atleast get into your somewhat normal routine…so my job here is done..” Alicia looked away, scoffing as she looked up to find Whitlow gone. She moved toward the door and laughed under her breath.
”Bitch…”
So you’re saying there’s a chance
”I need to get something straight, right now, before we get into it.”
Alicia Lukas, former three time bombshells champion, wrestler of the year winner, fued of the year winner, a multitude of other awards, five time world champion and all that. Well, she’s here, in front of us. Her arms folded over her chest as she seems agitated.
”I didn’t ask for this and I’m not sure I earned it. I know, weird of me to say right? You’re all so used to me coming on SCW tv or on a website and me running my mouth about how I’m the best and everyone else is below me. And now, after what happened you’d expect the same right? Well, wrong. See, I was on a huge losing streak. Vargas, Ariana, Steele, the list went on. And now here I am with two wins under my belt. Candy and Cryst, sorry, La Rosa and I’m in a match that could lead me to High Stakes and a championship opportunity.”
“Do I deserve this? Maybe to Christian and Mark, but to me? My own mind and wellbeing? No, no I don’t. Truth is, if there is someone who deserves this match over me, is my sister Zoey. She has been laying waste to everyone in this business and this company, yet she doesn’t get an opportunity. And I do. And, I feel like shit for it.”
“Atleast, I did.”
“See, there is a problem in wrestling where none of us really talk to each other. We talk at each other, hurl insults and say cutting things yet do any of us really sit down and have a frank and honest conversation? Nah, of course not. But I went to Zoey, I talked to Zoey and she decided to put my reservations to rest. She told me I deserved this, she told me she believed in me and in that moment I believed it.”
“And honestly, I need to stop thinking about the losing streak like it was a bad thing and the end of me and who I am. I have now won two in a row, I have beaten to women who have held titles in SCW and I am back on that winning path with an opportunity in front of me to regain my spot, my position. ANd I need to keep going and truth be told. I look at the other three women and I realise, I can win this,,”
She snarled and gave a small shrug.
”Although, anything can happen, especially in an anything goes match, with four women all wanting the same thing. But, if I’m being honest, like really honest. I’m not the favorite in this match. Even with my history, even with what I have accomplished. The favorite in this match to win it and go on to High Stakes has to be Krystal Wolfe. See, Krystal has made a real name for herself in this business and this company. She ruled SCW’s roulette division with an iron fist and went on a run that so many others would dream to have.”
“And so many has questioned whether or not Krystal has what it takes to take that next step, to go from former Roulette champion to a contender for the Bombshells championship.”
“And while it is hard to say, and that until she wins that title she will have her detractors and naysayers, she has a believer in me.”
“I could see Krystal Wolfe beating myself, Diamond and Sam and going on to win the title at High Stakes. I can see her having that heart and that fight in her to go far. I can see it and that is more than I can say for alot of people and truth be told Krystal and I have had limited interactions and god knows I don’t give my respect out freely and rarely, and it’s even rarer I give it without going to war with someone a multitude of times. But Krystal is someone who has my respect.”
“Someone who could become a champion…”
“But will she? Just because I see it Krystal, just because I respect what you have accomplished and believe you could accomplish so much more doesn’t mean it’ll happen. I’m not nostradamus here making vague predictions that will magically come true. To win this match, to get to High stakes and to become the champion you need to have that belief, that heart. Many have questioned if I have that and for a time I didn’t think I did. But, taking a step back and realizing whoi I was and who I could be again?. Well, I have that belief in myself…do you?
Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself as she adjusts her leather jacket.
”But, there’s always the opposite isn’t there? Krystal earned my respect despite not facing me over and over again and proving it, whereas Diamond Steele has never had my respect and never will. I don’t respect someone who has one foot in and one foot out of this business. I may talk alot of shit about Roxi and Keira Johnson and about Mercedes Vargas but atleast they are professional wrestlers. Not failed musicians. And that is what you are Kate, it’s what you have always been.”
“But, I can hear your complaints from here. But, but, but, I should respect you now, because you were able to beat me. Because we went to war a few timea and you were able to get the win over me. You were part of that downward spiral and you are better than me. Right Diamond?”
“No, wrong.”
“See, when you beat me I sat back and watched you step up for a bombshells title shot. You used the win over me to leverage yourself a position higher on the card and a shot at greatness, a chance at the goddamn title and what did you do? What did you do with the opportunity the win over me afforded you? That big win that made you better than Alicia Fucking Lukas? You squandered it, you took it in both hands, laid it on the ground, squatted and took a big ol deuce..”
“Seems like a metaphor for your whole career eh Diamond?”
“You out in the bare minimum until you see a pathy of least resistance and think you can be a champion, the suddenly you live up to that potential you say you have, only to shit all over it. You take others momentum and suck it dry like some kind of vicious little talent vampire. And now here you are ready to try it all again and we are all left to wonder which Diamond is going to turn up. The one that puts effort in and could be a wrestling champion, or the half assed bitch who is just here to promote a new album of poorly written pop punk…”
She rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed.
”And then, we have the legend. Samantha goddamn Marlowe. Krystal is the favorite, Diamond is the annoyance and you?, you’re the most dangerous cause, well, you have nothing else to lose. Your reputation, your past, your history and legacy is essentially untouchable. No matter what you do now, even though there will be a few people, like me, who look at you now and think you are nowhere near who you used to be, most will look at you in reverence and awe. Remembering your career, seeing you in person.”
“But what if you win? What if you get a shot at it and you can recapture that title? That makes you dangerous, nothing to lose, everything to gain and a history of defying expectations.”
“Now, I’m not going to lie, the chances of you winning are even more out there than me. And as I think about it, like really think about it I realize just why I believe you are dangerous and why I’m scared of you…yes Sam, scared.”
“I don’t want to be like you.”
“I don’t want to look in the mirror, grab my gear and travel to whatever town or country we are in for SCW and go about doing the motions. Wrestle here, cut a promo there, I don’t want that Sam, I don’t want to be like you. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on you. Cause maybe you can win, maybe you can go on to be the champion again, I don’t know, I guess this is something that we are all here to find out huh?”
She chuckled to herself and sighed heavily, moving around the room in a move of self reflection.
”That is the chance we all have in front of us ladies. The winner gets to go to one of the biggest shows of the year and have a chance at the championship. Whether the champion is Masque or Mercedes, it won’t matter, one of us gets a shot. Althought, it is more likely it’ll be Masque. And then the question arrises, can I stop her? After what she has done to Amber and Roci, two generational talents, can I have a chance at ending her?”
“Mercedes I can beat, I know that. Even though she would have you believe she is the dominant one out of us, even though I have beaten her, every single time aside from the last time.”
“But this match, well this match could give me an opportunity to be a four time Bombshells champion, a shot at glory and a chance to reclaim my place…”
