Session 19: The Middle
These sessions were becoming a struggle. Being honest with herself was hard enough, But being honest with someone else? That was almost impossible. The Doctor was waiting, tapping her fingers on the arms of her old wooden chair. The fabric had started to fray. Alicia raised an eyebrow. It was strange, a year ago that chair looked brand new. As if it had just come off the floor at a high end furniture shop. One that specialized in antique reproduction. But now, less than two years later, it had aged.
The fabric was faded, frayed, torn in a few placed, the buttons at the top had turned to an almost silver color as the gold faded, the wood had scratched and the finish had worn off. Alicia was distracted by it, losing focus on everything she had to say and what the Doctor wanted to talk about.
Whitlow was not impressed.
She cleared her throat snapping Alicia out of her daze. Alicia swallowed hard and gave a small nod, deciding to break the silence and tension that had been slowly building for the last ten minutes. Ten minutes that had been insipid greetings and pleasantries before silence and distraction. Time had slowed, it had felt like hours. ”I don’t know where to go from here. She paused and shook her head again before sitting forward, balancing her elbows on her knees, the denim on her jeans feeling rough on the points of her elbows. ”The destruction and breakdown of a marriage can’t be condensed into one moment or point…” She swallowed again, trying to choke down tears that she could already feel rising up.
Dr Whitlow raised an eyebrow and gave a nod. It was an honest realization from Alicia that surprised her. ”You told me how you started on the path, there has to be a moment or two that sticks out to you. A time when you sat back and it hit you that maybe he and you had differing needs and wants in life.” Her voice was always kind, it was soothing and calming, letting Alicia know everything was alright.
The normally strong Alicia swallowed, took a deep breath, a sip of water and shook her head. ”Well, I guess a huge bane of contention was when I decided to go back to work.
”I just thought we were going to make a decision.”
The word we made Alicia wince. After all this wasn’t so much a we conversation. She shook her head raising her hands to her head as she ran her hands through her hair and looked over at Michael. Her husband of two years, the man that had taken her career out of the mud and her personal life out of the darkness. His short wavy brown hair sliding down over his eyes as he shook his head. Alicia could feel the disappointment, it made her skin crawl. But she was standing firm. ”We..” Thye word was uttered loud enough for Michael to hear but still close to a low whisper.
He raised an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest. He stood there in a pair of black work out shorts and no shirt, Alicia opened the door to the bathroom, turning on the faucet to brush her teeth, Michael stepped forward and leaned against the door frome, his arms still folded. ”Yes we. Instead of talking to me you signed the extension to go back. No conversation, no mediation. Just a signature and the end of it. I’m supposed to be someone you talk to…” Alicia spit the toothpaste into the sink and washed her brush shakeing her head.
”Eddie looked over the contract, the amount they paid me to come back…Michael not everyone gets that kind of deal. And I get time off so I-”
Michael raised his voice interrupting, startling Alicia and making her jump. ”The money isn’t the point!” He shook his head and threw his hands in the air. ”We have money, through your career and mine, we hyave it. We have this house, you have a stake in Wolfslair. Money isn’t a goddamn problem and you know it.
Alicia flared her nostrils and matches his stance, folding her arms now as well and tilting her head. ”So…what the rfuck is it thenj?”
”Just forget it Ali”
He turned to walk away, Alicia stepped forward, determined to have this fight. Determined to find out just what the hell he wanted and his problem was. ”No, I won’t “forget it”. You clearly want to say something to me, something on your mind. So say it, why are you so angry and distant? Why are you acting like such an asshole?”
”An asshole? For what? Wanting you to live up to your promise? To actually have another child?” And there it was. What Michael wanted. What he always wanted. ”You said we would look at having a child together Ali. You said we would take that ste-”
”Stop!” She raised her voice, Michael stopped and breathed out trying to calm himself down. ”You keep using the word we. This isn’t your decision. You can’t tell me to stop doing something I love just because you want to have a child now.”
”The window is closing Ali….I don’t want to wait and you just keep ignoring me and I have had enough..we need to-”
”There is no WE in this…” She stepped forward and shook her head, right in Michaels face. ”It is my body, my career, MY decision.” She shook her head, Michael backed away and moved from the bedroom. Alicia wanted to scream, she wanted to hit the wall. She wanted her anger to be let out.
”He didn’t understand you…”
”Oh he understood, he just didn’t care. He had his own selfish reasons. And that fight…I think that fight was the beginning of the moment our relationship became unsalvagable.” She swallowed and shook her head trying to hold back the tears. Dr Whitlow stood up, she moved toward Alicia and reached down, placing her hand on Alicias head. There was no words that needed to be said. Alicia had made the realisation she needed to.
But not necessarily one she wanted to.
Moving on.
Heavy boots hitting a hardwood floor greet us. The leather Doc martins pound over and over again as the footsteps lead us to a pair of black jeans, torn in strategic places. A black leather studded belt and a black band shirt. Her long hair flowing down as her ruby red lips twist into an arrogant smirk.
”Do you all get the point now?”
Alcia laughs and shakes her head, her arms folding over her chest as she lets out a large huff from inside her lungs.
”What I did to Candy, how I beat her, it was for the good of the bombshells division. It was for the good of my division, my company. And make no mistake the SCW bombshells division is still MY division. And SCW is my company. I have been here long enough to see how this works. I have been here long enough to watch people come and people go. And through everything, through injuries and personal turmoil I have been flying the flag for this place. And I have beebn telling you all for years what this division needed to be to succeed.”
“When I fierst put pen to paper in SCW the division was in tatters. It was not the powerhouse it was today. A bombshell had never NEVER been awarded wrestler od the year and the Bombshells title wouldn’t even SNIFF a pay per view or supercard main event. Dani Weston, while a talented woman was not the leader the division needed or wanted. No, the bombshells division was a joke.”
“Gone were the days were Mercedes Vargas was relevant. Keira and Roxi had walked from SCW and Mikah’s domination was a distant memory despite being ended by the woman I beat and the biggest star was fucking Crystal Hilton that no one cared about.”
“No, this company was infested with people like Amanda Cortez Delia Darling, Polly Playtime….where are they now? Are any of them relevant anywhere? Because they weren’t in SCW and in Amanda Cortez’ case she has disappeared completely. I had a vision for the bombshells division and I championed it. I held that title with pride and I have been a champion others aspired to be. And while we have had other champions that mattered here like Amber Ryan and Roxi…we have had ones that should never have gotten close to that title. So..many would say I failed.”
Alicia scoffed and shook her head with a small shrug.
”For every Amber Ryan we have seen a Seleana Zdunich, for every Evie Jordan we have seen a Christina Rose return to prominence and embarrassment. For every Roxi we have a Keira. So, again I am going to have to go back to the start and I am going to have to cut out the cancers I see in this division. And all the while I will test everyone else through what they do in the ring. Candy was the first one I needed to beat and expose as a fraud. She doesn’t belong here, she doesn’t deserve to be here and I am done with her. Done with her attitude. And now, well, it;’s time to move on and time to move on up.”
“And SCW has seen fit to put me in the ring with the hometown girl. Or rather home country girl. Ariana Angelos. The greek goddess herself. A lofty claim Ariana. I suppose you somehow fit the bill. Gods being make believe much like your thoughts of success and relevance. Its a constant struggle isn’t it Ariana? And I get it, I do. I understand it. You’re this plucky, happy little underdog who wants to make everyone happy and wants to show how good she can be. And I can’t fault you for it. I really can’t. But I question yo0ur sincerity in how far you’ll go to realise your dreams.”
“How far are you willing to go to become a champion and a name that echoes through the ages? Like your greek gods.”
“How far Ariana?”
“I think you have seen how far I’ve been prepared to go. Even with your Greek heritage you are still steeped in American culture. Being from Pittsburg you know what it’s like to have to work right? But how far will you go? What will you do?”
Alicia shrugs and sighs heavily, sliding her hands into the front pockets of her black jeans.
”I know you could beat me. It’s an outside chance, but you could. You could catch my off guard, you could cheat, you could bludgeon me half to death. But you won’t. Becauser you are no capable of it. You aren’t physically, mentally or emoionally capable top doing what is needed to be a leader. But do you know who is Ariana?”
“Me”
“I am”
“I am the leader this division needs and deserves. And you? Well, this match will let me see if there is a place for you in my division and my vision for what SCW and the bombshells division should be. A division that is about the sport of professional wrestling. One that is about what we can accomplish in the ring and one where it comes to the hatred of each other and the need to prove you can be better than your rival.”
“This company shouldn’t be about Candy and her little dog, it shouldn’t be about Chrystalina and her marital problems with the blond charisma vacuum, it shouldn’t be about Keiras constant need for validation as she tries to get out from her wife’s shadow. Or about whoever Kristal is fucking or whatever relationship issues they all have.”
Alicia growls and shakes her head.
”You may or may not have a spot here Ariana. You might be someone who can step up and be a part of this vision. But, you also might not. You might get put in the same little box as Candy. See, my vision consists of Myra, Andrea, Amber, Kat, Roxi and myself. We are the type of women you should aspire to be like and trust me on thi9s, it’s not a personal thing. The only women in that little list I like on a personal level are Amber Ryan and Kat Jones. I don;’t liike Myra, I don’t like Andrea or Roxi….”
“I barely like myself.”
“But, they can all go. They can all get in the ring and throw down. They can all carry the division on their backs as champions. Kat has done it in other places, Amber has done it here and many other places. Roxi, Andrea and Myra to and of course me. Will you get in the ring and join us Ariana? Or will you be like another one of these waste of spaces that whine and piss and moan yet never stand up and set themselves loose and show they can be a star?...”
“I will hold you to the same standard as I hold Bella Madison, I love that girl but she needs to step up and so do you. So, Climax Control, Rhodes Greece….you get to face a legend Ariana and trust me, I am a legend. You on the other hand? I’ll put the “god” name to the test…”
