One step
It had been a rough week.
Being on the comeback trail after being out of the ring and out of the business for so long was never going to be a walk in the park. The problem with taking time away from something as intense as professional wrestling is that when you get back into it you need to work your way into it. The problem is that you can’t. If you have made a name for yourself in the professional wrestling business then you are going to come back and instantly have the spotlight thrust up upon you. Everyone is always going to expect you to still be the same person you were before you left. To be at that same level, and the level that Alicia Lukas was at was suffocating.
Everyone who looked at her in the gym had seen her weekend and week out for the last few years. She had gone in the ring with them, given them her knowledge and her strength. But, that was in a private setting. Sitting with friends and fans and sitting with family was different and quieter. When the spotlight is on you and you are in the ring, you are exposed. Exposed to everything. Your failures and your shortcomings are laid out for everyone to see and for everyone to judge.
That reality will always breed pressure. And pressure isn’t always a negative thing. Some pressure can push down on you and break you, destroy everything you are and everything you possibly could be. Pressure can be suffocating, it can suck all the air out of your lungs and make it hard for you to breathe. But there are some people who push back against that pressure. Who can break through and show that they are more than what the world believes them to be and what the world will allow them to be. The ability to break through pressure is one that separates true champions from the pretenders.
And Alicia had always been a true champion.
Despite the fact her return hadn’t gone as she had planned. Despite the fact that she had been stuck in the middle of the division instead of raising back up to the place that she believed she should be, she was still doing everything in her power to make not only herself but those around her better. She still turned up to the gym every day, but she still helped those around her and trained as hard as she could. She did everything in her power to live up to the name of reputation that she had forged through her years of hard work, perseverance, and championship glory.
As 2024 started to draw to a close Alicia knew she had a few appearances to make, working hard to make sure that she was going to end the year off better than the year had begun. She arrived home, got out of her car, and stretched as she looked over at her home. Smiling as she knew that her family was inside. Her sons Rory and Ryan, and her partner, her boyfriend, Austin James Mercer, and his son, Marcus, and daughter Amelia.
She walked up the concrete path toward the front door reaching out and opening it. She stepped inside and looked around, while the lights in the lounge room were on, the hallway to the kitchen was dark and only lit by a few candles that had been placed on the ground leading toward the kitchen. Alicia raised an eyebrow moving down the hallway and into the kitchen where she found the dining room table had been set. A beautiful red tablecloth has been laid out with a few white plates and silverware. And sitting on one side of the table was Austin.
”Aus….whats all this?”[
Austin did little to answer the question instead offering a small shrug. His shoulder-length brown hair, the hair that he had previously cut short that had grown out once again was now tied back in a tight bun. His beard was trimmed and immaculately kept. He wore a button-up white shirt and black pants as he kept the sleeves rolled up. ”I can’t just do something nice?” he smiled at her, Austin wasn’t the type to smile very much. Even before everything that had happened when he lost his wife Lisa. Austin was never one to show his emotions outwardly. He was a mystery to most people. Except those who knew him.
And Alicia was someone who definitely knew him. She knew that behind the steel gaze that he offered the world, behind the mask of indifference that he wore when dealing with most people there was a deep reservoir of feeling. All of the human emotions that we all feel. Anger, frustration, hatred, happiness, and love. All of these things Austin not only felt but felt deeply. ”I’m not going to say I don’t appreciate it, but is there an occasion for it? Something special I’ve forgotten?”
Austin shook his head serving up a perfectly cooked medium-rare steak and grilled and butter asparagus. A protein-rich meal with vitamins. One of Alicia‘s favorites. Something that she would often eat but would have to cook for herself. And she hated cooking. Austin poured her some wine before sitting back down and offering up a casual smile. ”Ali, we’ve known each other a long time. When I first met you, I admired you. I admired how much you love this business, I admired the way that you never let your family get to you. Like Me, you had a parent who is in the business business. We both had names that we had to live up to, but while I kept my last name you were able to forge your own life, you didn’t coast on your father‘s reputation or his name, you did it all yourself.” Austin paused, swallowing hard and sitting back before continuing. ”You and I were destined to be ships passing each other in the night. As much as I loved Lisa, and still in many ways, do love Lisa, she isn’t what I would’ve considered to be my soulmate. She gave me two wonderful children and some of the best years of my life. but I.”
Austin pauses again. This time he seemed to struggle with what he was going to say. He closed his eyes as he tried to find the words. Alicia, threw a shaky breath leaned forward. Her fingertips slightly danced across the back of his hand. Austin, as if on instinct turned his hand sideways, allowing Alicia’s fingers to slide into his palm and squeeze his hand. A reassuring gesture. She wanted to hear what he had to say. As Austin opened his eyes, Alicia gave him a small smile and a nod coaxing it out of him.
Austin smiled and continued ”I love you. I’ve always loved you. But while I was with Lisa and you were with Michael, I never allowed myself to feel it. And even when they both passed and you and I became closer, I thought it was going to disrespect both of their memories. As much as I blame Michael for everything that happened, I still wasn’t sure that it was respectful for you and me to be in a relationship. And I thought I did, but in the end, I couldn’t. And I don’t want to lie to myself anymore, Alicia.”
She smiled, her heart racing and beating in her chest. ”I love you to…”
The two looked at each other. Both of them smiling. Austin stood up still holding Alicia‘s hand. He moved around the table. His muscular frame towered over her as he leaned in and gently kissed her. Being as gentle and tender as anyone could ever be. Austin very slowly dropped to one knee as Alicia‘s eyes opened. Her heart skipped a beat and her breath hitched in her throat. She wanted to ask him what he was doing but all she could manage was a trembling lip. Austin had her hand in his. He smiled and grabbed a small black velvet ring box from his pocket. ”Ali, will you m-“
”Yes….”
She didn’t wait for him to get the entire question out. Blurting out her answer. Austin smiled sliding the ring on her finger before standing up. Alicia wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself up and wrapping her legs around his waist. After their warm embrace and passionate kiss Austin Laughed and looked down ”Your food is getting cold” Alicia loaded herself down laughing as she put her forehead on Austin‘s chest. The two getting ready to go about their night. Preparing themselves to eat and then tell the rest of the world what was going to happen between them.
Lost
”There are always bumps in the road. Always obstacles that you have to overcome and face. No matter where you are in your life. No matter what you do in life. There are always things that get placed in front of you trying to stop you from achieving your goals”
Alicia slowly emerges. Wearing a black leather jacket over a black band shirt. The logo of the hard rock band Ghost is clearly visible. On the lower part of her body, she wears a pair of tight black jeans with the knee holes torn. And black combat boots over the top. Her long blonde hair is tied back in an interesting fashion. The top is tied back and braided like a cat o'nine tails. The bottom half kept down and flowing down her back and shoulders. Underneath her right eye, a black stripe of wall paint and her ruby red lips shine in contrast to the darkness around her eyes.
”This business is as fast-moving and unforgiving as the rest of the entertainment industry. And make no mistake that’s exactly what we are. Entertainment. Admittedly what we share is a lot closer and more akin to what the ancient Romans used to enjoy the Colosseum than what we now see on the silver screen that gets all sorts of awards from academies and critics. But the fact remains that we are entertainment. And as such we fall into the same traps. Everyone is always looking for the new shiny person who is going to come up and replace the old ones. The new name that is going to become a champion and be pushed forward as the face of the company.”
“Meanwhile, champions of the past are usually looked at in a certain light. Either they leave, standing on the sidelines making snide comments about the current stars. Acting like they could still come in and dominate if they wanted to all the while never fully committing to coming back. I’m of course talking about people like Amber Ryan and Mikah. Now don’t get me wrong, both of those women are incredible athletes and both of them were the best that this company had to offer. And I’m sure they could come back and give most of the women in this company a run for their money. And in Amber Ryan’s case, she might even go on another reign of terror.”
“But, that is still one category.”
“The former champions, so full of bitterness. So full of anger toward the company and ready to make so many comments about how they could do it better. But never actually coming back to do it and prove it. But what of those that do? What about those women who at one point in time with the greatest company had to offer and have stayed? Samantha Marlowe. Mercedes Vargas. Crystal Zdunixh. These women refuse to leave and instead stay. Much to their detriment. Because they are looked at as failed nostalgia acts. As women who can’t live up to what they used to and are just now walking talking popes. Coasting off of their names of the past like some form of heretical ghosts. Unwilling just to die like their careers.”
Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself. Her whole body tenses. Her mind seems to race as she comes to different realizations. Thinking about her past, her present, her future. Thinking about everything else that has been laid before her and everyone else in the company. Her bright blue eyes snap forward and a small arrogant smile comes across her lips.
”So, which one am I then? Which category does Alicia Lucas fit into? While I was gone from this company I didn’t run my mouth. I might have occasionally called out a member of the roster or two, but I didn’t sit in my Ivory Tower and talk about what was wrong with the company. I didn’t badmouth the current champions, I didn’t try and wiggle my way into the good graces of the people who ran this company. I knew in my heart that Christian and Mark were just a phone call away at any time I wanted to come back all I had to do was pick up that phone. All I had to do was tell them I wanted a new contract. They would welcome Me with open arms.”
“Now, if I didn’t fit into that category, the one with the bitter old farts who didn’t know what her real place was in life. Then I suppose I must fit in the same category as Mercedes Vargus and the others that I mentioned right?”
“I suppose I am simply a woman who is passed her prime. No longer the best that this company has to offer. I’m just a shambling, shunting, struggling corpse. A ghost of what I once was. A great champion, now reduced to someone who is going to lose time and time again as those who are younger than me and better than Me become champions. Is that my future? Is that where I’m going? Has the legacy of the strong style Southern Bell become a joke?”
“Maybe..”
“Or maybe I’m something new. Something different. When you look at my career in my past I have never, ever walked to the same beat of everyone else’s drum. In fact, I’ve always been unique. Somewhat disagree with that, someone might think I’m nothing but arrogant. and there is certainly something to be said for that. I am arrogant, and with my track record in my past why wouldn’t I be? I’ve done things that most women in this business could only dream of. I dominated three companies at once. Who else can say that? I broke records. I won awards and I beat the best that this business had to offer. So, am I arrogant? Am I cocky? You damn right I am.”
The arrogant smirk that had been plastered on Alicia‘s face slowly started to grow. The arrogance grew with her attitude. But the smoker twisted contorted and changed into something more sinister.
”Unlike others I have earned the right to be arrogant. But my arrogance never crosses that line. A line where I can’t see my failures. That is what has always set me apart from others. I look around at all the other names in this company and they still don’t get it. When I was in the middle of my run that made people jealous, I pointed out so many different mistakes that they made and here I am a few years later and I can still see the same mistakes being made by the same people as well as the same mistakes being made by new faces. The more things changed the more they stay the same indeed”
“Alexandra Calaway is definitely someone who makes these mistakes. Last month, the last time you all saw me, I was in a match with Alexandra and Andrea Hernandez. The winner would go on to face Kayla Richards. Now, both Alexandra and I failed. I took the loss hard and went home, and now here I am my first match back and it is still affecting me. I wasn’t good enough that night to win and go onto face Kayla. Andrea Hernandez was and she went on to give a great fight to our champion. I learned from that loss like I always have. You know who didn’t learn a goddamn thing? Alexandra.”
“Forty years old and still unable to come to terms with a loss and learn anything from it. No wonder you have never been able to become The champion that you always thought you should be.”
“You are still fighting to win everything you think you deserve. It’s admirable in a way. You doing everything you can to try and gain that glory. Except the one thing you need to do to get what you want. You can’t bring yourself to really examine your losses, when you win it’s all roses and unicorns and rainbows. But when you lose you make a few Flippin comments shrug it off and move along. You don’t sit there and dissect it. You don’t do an autopsy on your loss you don’t learn a goddamn thing from instead you just keep throwing yourself into brick walls expecting something to change.”
“But nothing changes”
“You still end up at the bottom of the pile staring up at people who are better than you. And while I failed so far in my comeback aside from a few wins that have ultimately been pointless, you look back at my career in this company and I accomplished things. I accomplished things here, I accomplished things in WWH, and I accomplished things in honor wrestling. I was the biggest name on this fucking planet at one point. I was infamous and had bitches and morons from other companies constantly calling me out because they were nothing jealous of the success that I had.”
She chuckles to herself, shaking her head before continuing.
”You on the other hand get made fun of because of your stupidity. The fact that you can never admit when you’re wrong and the fact that everyone else in this company thinks you’re a joke. You’re only claim to fame is being the world champion of a company that shut down. Congratulations. Every single time you’ve tried to climb up that ladder while you’ve been here you’ve been smacked back down to the bottom wrong. And now you have to face me one on one at the final show of the year while I’m in such a bad mood that I’m just about ready to rip your head off. And the crazy part is it’s nothing personal.”
“It’s not even really business. You see if this was something personal between us then I would care. I’d be angry, I’d be stomping my feet and I’d be promising the fans a great show while I tore your arm off and beat you to death with it. But I can’t even do that because I really don’t care about you Alexandra. You mean nothing to me. And I can’t even say it’s business either.”
“Business implies that I would have something to gain. What does me beating you gain? You have something to gain if you beat me. You beat me you’ve just knocked off a three-time bombshell, champion, and a woman who won wrestler of the year woman of the year feud of the year. A woman who dominated WWH a woman who dominated on a wrestling and a woman who is dominated here. You get to tell the world that you were able to beat Alicia Lukas.”
“I beat you and what do I get? I get to say I beat you? Great, so does everyone else in this fucking company”
“No, winning a match against you does nothing for my career. So instead I have to settle for another motivator. And that motivation is simple, I don’t want to lose to you. I don’t want people to look at me and believe that I’m such a failure and that I have fallen so far from what I used to be that I’m going to lose to the likes of you. Someone whose greatest accomplishment is being able to get her succubus hooks into LJ Kasey.”
“And I’ll be dead if that is the vision of Me the people close out 2024 with. So congratulations. You get to have a match with one of the best in this company and a bonafide legend. But it’s not going to help you….”
“Merry Christmas bitch.”
