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Messages - Alicia Lukas

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1
Climax Control Archives / A game of chance
« on: February 09, 2023, 07:24:40 PM »
Independance

It was a very typical day, a friday, nothing remarkable. The cold winter air whistled through the trees, kids moved along the footpath as parents waited for them. Standing just outside the main gate were two blonde women, one taller than the rest, towering over everyone, the other a little shorter. Alicia and Zoey Lukas. Alicia hummed as she twirled her car kets in her hand, dressed in gresy sweatpants and a black hoodie, looking every bit like a mom who just had enough today, her long blonde hair tied back and up in a bun as Zoey has her large arms folded over her chest.

Zoey on the other hand wore a black leather jacket, a t-shirt from the british metal band Bury t underneath and black torn jeans.Her hair was done with product, swept back and her make up impeccably done.

Alicia smiled looking up to see her boys, Rory and Ryan run out, they smiled and Rory gave Alicia a hug as Ryan shook his head and gave his aunt Zoey a quick nod. ”Hey calm down you two, how was your day?” Before she could get an answer a voice rang out from just inside the gate, Alicia looking up and over to see where it came from.

”Excuse me…Mrs Maxwell.”

She looked over as a well dressed gentlemen walked out, his sandy brown hair combed to the side, his face was clean shaved showing off his stong jawline and cheekbones. He gave Alicia and the boys a small smile. ”Hello? Can I help you?” She looked at him with a puzzled look, she had never seen him before.

He took a deep breath, he had obviously moved fast running over here to talk to here. ”I’m Rorys new teacher, unfortunately Mrs Wilks had to unexpectedly transfer to California to look after a family issue. I have been trying to get around and introduce myself to all m,y students parents…”

Zoey grabbed Rory and Ryans hands leading them away toward the car, Alicia gave a small nod and a smile. ”Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Mister…”

”Oh, sorry…Reso, Adam Reso…”

He held out his hand, Alicia took it and gave a hard shake before cleasring her throat. ”Violet…”

”I have to say, Rory is a really amazing young man Mrs Maxwell”

”Thank you…and it’s Miss…I got divorced some time ago…Rory took it hard…he grey really attached to his step father…but, it never seemed to show in his school work…” She smiled, remembering how it had been rough, but beaming with pride at how her boys had taken it all and come through the other side.

Mr Reso smiled warmly and folded his arms over his chest. ”I’ve been here a week and on my first day Rory was the first one there to welcome me. He’s doing very well and Ryan has come every day after class to get his brother and walk him down to you, they’re both great kids….”

”Thank you.” She gave a small nod and turned to Zoey and the boys before turning back to Mr Reso. ”It’s been nice to meet you, but I have to get those boys home, and knowing them, fed.” She chuckled as he smiled back.

”Oh, of course, it’s been great talking to you and I’m sure we’ll get bto know each other more, I like to know all my kids parents, it just works better that way…good evening…Miss Maxwell…”

Alicia gave him a small smile and a nod moving back toward Zoey as she unlocked the car, the boys getting in and right away getting out their nintendo switches from the center console and playing, Zoey leaned against the car, her arms folded as she looked Alicia up and down, Alicia shook her head and sighed. ”What?...”

”He’s cute.”

”No…”

”He’s not?”

”I’m not having this conversation with you Zo…”

She laughed at Alicia, shaking her head and pushing off the car before putting her hand on her older sisters shoulder. ”It’s been a year and a half, don’t you think it’s time you put yourself out there. I mean shit look at you…” Zoey stepped back you moved her hand up and down in front of her. ”Grey sweatpants? An oversized hoodie that hides…everything, hair just thrown up in a bun, no makeup….”

”I’m comfortable…”

”Bitch you frumpy…”

Alicia shook her head and mumbled under her breath, Zoey stepped forward again and reached out, Alicia put her hand up. ”You’re right, I do dress a little…frumpy as you put it. But, I’m not looking Zo, I don’t care if I ever find anyone again, I really don’t.” She swallowed hard, Zoey raised an eyebrow. ”You and Aron are happy and that’s great, he’s really into you and you keep smiling when you’re around him. I’m reaslly happy for you. But you had to be ready when he asked you out right?....I’m not ready to even entertain the idea and probably never will be…”

Zoey swallowed hard and cleared her throat. ”Yeah I…guess I get it…” Zoey smiled faintly and moved over to the passenger side of the car getting in to see what the boys were doing. Alicia shook her head as a voice from inside popped up.

”Coward…”

”Shut the fuck up you old crone…”

Zoey popped her head up. ”Hey you say something?” Alicia shook her head popping the driver side open.

”Nope…”

A game of chance.

”I don’t deserve this…”

Alicias voice rings out, she sits forward, her bright blue eyes muted in colour and emotion. She stares off, her hands clasped together.

”The last few months I haven’t been around much, I mean sure, SCW took it’s usual holiday break and that added extra time to me not really being around but before and after that I just, haven’t been here. That is the good thing about having a roster full of new names and people ready to carry the torch for the division. You can afford to take time off, kick back and relax. And for the most part, that is what I’ve done.”

She gives a small shrug and sits back again, clearing her throat as she continues.

”SCW and the bombshells division is fine, it doesn’t need me anymore, and I know that. It’s in good hands with all the amazing talents here. So when I say I don’t deserve this, I mean it. See, I have sat at home only appearing every now and then, thankfully my history as champion and the hard work I have put in over the last ten years as well as wise investments and my work at wolfdlair as a trainer has allowed me to be able to have…well..no worried when it comes to money.”

“I have a great life, I know that. And I still have an amazing amount of love for this business. But the last time you all saw me I was beating Bella Madison. And I love Bella, I do. But a win over her back in december should not be a gateway for me to get into a contendership match for the richest prize in our world. It just shouldn’t. Yet here I am. And it puts me in a weird position, because feeling like this, feeling like a I don’t deserve something that was handed to me is new to me..”

“In the past I have always justified it, reconciled the opportunities with the fact I was, and still am, Alicia Lukas. The women who swept awards, the three time bombshells champion, a woman who has beaten the best of the best and one of the longest reigning champions of all time.”

“But, that mewans nothing now…”

“That is long in the past, even longer when you realise how fast the wrestling world moves and if you do happen to sit back and breathe you are in danger of being forgotten and moved on from.”


She reaches out, grabbing a small glass in her hand, drinking the amber liquid down as ice cubes clink together and against the sides of the glass.

”So, where does this leave me? Hmmm? What kind of position am I in now? Undeserving of this great opportunity? Well, I suppose I should go about earning it. And that is where this week comes in. See, earning it in a match like this won’t be easy. Roxi Johnson and Mercedes Vargas have just as much, if not more experience than me. Womeno have been here for years and have built up just as much equity as I have.”

“But if I am being honest with myself here I feel like I should be honest with others to, and if I don’t derserve this opportunity, Mercedes Vargas sure as shit doesn’t either.”

“Oh newsflash, I still don’t like Mercedes Vargas.”

“So, Mercy, my biggest question is, are you going to admit you don’t deserve this shot either? Are you going to be honest with yourself and admit that youl, just like me, need to justify your position in this match? I mean, shit, you finally, FINALLY got a win over me, after so many matches and you trying desperately for years it finally happened. After you failed in WWH, failed in Honor wrestling and for the first four years of my career here failed here to….you finally did it.”

“But, what did you do with it? Did we see a new golden age of Vargas? A new and rejuvenated Mercedes ready to gtake the goddamn wrestling world by storm again?”


Alicia stands up and moves around the small table, her fingertips touching the wood.

”Or did you end up getting a few more title shots and failing there to? Cause I think we know the answer don’t we? Internet title shots, handed to you and you failed every time. So, if I can admit I don’t deserve this then maybe you should to. Honesty is the best policy Mercedes, maybe you should try it, cause lying to yourself every single week in promos and acting like you’re still at the top oif you game hasn’t been doing much for you has it?”

She pauses again and shakes her head.

”The fact is, out of the three of us, Rozi is the one who deserves this. She deserrves to be in this match and deserrves the opportunity. She’s been active in SCW, she’s been winning, she’s been the usual guiding light of the division and all that jazz. Evemn as her wife decided to retire and dragged her into “one last team hero” ride and a match against her Roxi handled it with the usual grace and poise she always does.”

“Now, don’t get this twisted Roxi, I’m not going to just lay down for you here. I ain’t that type of ga;. See, while you might be the one who deserrves this the most and, the entire wrestling world is probably chomping at the bit to see you and Amber go at it again, the truth is that I really, really want to play spoiler here.”

“And not out of any malice.”

“See, you deserve to have an opportunity at Amber. You two deserve to main event again for that title and fight it out. But I have never and will never be the type of person to lie to myself or to give up something like this. If I’m going to be given something then I will do all I can to earn it. And what better way than to beat you and Mercedes? What better way to remind everyone how good Alicia Lukas really is than by punching my ticket to go fact Amber?”

“This isn’t a situation where I’m angry or egotistical…this is me just wanting to be relevant again…and you can laugh and you can give mer shit for it…but the truth is…it has happened to us all at some point…”

2
Climax Control Archives / A cub
« on: December 02, 2022, 07:42:29 AM »
Broken

The light just wouldn’t come closer.

Running down the hallway, feeling her heart coming close to bursting as she chased it. The light at the end of the tunnel with darkness all around. She had been running for what felt like an eternity. As good as her cardio was she was close to a collapse.

Close to having to stop. But the drive inside her just refused to let go. It pushed her, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much she wanted it to stop.

It just wouldn’t let her.

Her chest heaved, her body felt heavy, her joints ached and sweat poured from every single part of her body. And no matter how hard or how fast she ran, she couldn’t catch the light, she couldn’t get to the end.

But she also couldn't stop chasing it.

She wanted it, she needed it. She felt like without the light she was nothing.

But it being out of her reach, constantly moving and going further without her being able to attain it. It drove her insane, it made her mad in ways that so many other people would never understand. She anted to scream. But running, being so tired and her heart feeling like it was going to explode. She couldn’t…she could scream, she couldn’t stop…all she could do was keep running…

Until she woke up.

Sitting right up in bed, drenched in sweat, was Alicia. Her hair stuck to her body, her hands shaking and her body feeling like she had just run a marathon. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, stop her heart from racing and to go back to normal. But, before she could lay down and go back to sleep, she heard a voice interrupting those plans.

”You are seriously fucked up, you know that right?”

Dr Whitlow, her gray hair in a bun, dressed in a orange suit and her glasses, sat at the base of Alicia's bed. Her eyes trailing up to the blond haired blue eyed  wrestler who is now sitting up straight and looking annoyed as she stares back at her apparition of a therapist. ”I’llbe even worse if someone doesn’t let me get my beauty sleep

She shot back in a very straight forward, annoying and somewhat sassy way. She was not putting up with this shit. Dr Whitlow scoffed and stood up, moving away from Alicias bed and folding her arms over her chest.”Awfully arrogant for someone with failure issues and nightmares aren’t you? It’s actually rather refreshing seeing how far you’ve fallen yet still seem to retain your brand of….personality.” Alicia groaned and lowered herself back

She closed her eyes, throwing her leg over a pillow next to her, letting out a deep sigh as she tried to get back to sleep. ”I’m going to sleep now, I have to leave early in the morning, so just leave whatever lesson you remembered from some textbook I made up in my psyche written on a napkin on the bedside table or something.”

Whitlow narrowed her eyes and turned kicking the end of Alicias bed. ”Look you arrogant little shit, I wouldn’t even need to be here if your psyche didn’t dream me up and spit me out whenever you’re having an existential crisis.” Alicia scoffed and rolled her eyes before rolling her whole body over amd facing away from Whitlow. ”So what is it this time? Hmm? Do you finally realise you’re falling behind?”

Alicia sighs and tries to ignore her. ”Whatever…just let me sleep…”

”Let you sleep? You’re awake because you want to be, hell if you want to get all technical about it, you’re talking to yourself right now…so you CLEARLY have issues.”

Alicia groans again and sits up, dragging herself up and to a sitting position. ”Clearly…so what?......what am I going to do?. If I want to sleep I have to..what?...talk to you?” She groans and shakes her head. ”I choose to sit up and ignore you instead….”

Whitlow scoffs and shakes her head. ”Stubborn…impressively so. But It will still play on your mind and you’ll fail…” She scoffed and turned away from Alicia as Alicia looked over to her. ”You need to learn to use me Alicia, use the fact you can talk to yourself and work out your issues…”

”Seriously?....well can we…not do it out here? Like can you just disappear back in my head or something?”

”.....No”

A cub

”The last time any of you saw me, three months ago, I was a failure…”

Her arms fold over her chest, she leans back against the brick wall and props one of her legs up against it.

”I had an opportunity, and I failed in pursuit of that win and opportunity. I got in that ring and for the most part I did what Alicia Lukas does. I was on the fast track to win. I was ready, willing and able. I stood above Krystal Wolfe and Sam Marlowe, I stood above Diamond Steele and when the dust of that contest settled I was seconds away from being declared the winner. Only to have it stolen away from me by a woman with a steal chair. And what was the end result hmm?”

“Krystal Wolfe forgot the match ever happened, moved on and shrugged it all off. Sam Marlowe has remained largely a mnon factor in SCW and has stayed as a name from the past and irrelevant to the past and future of this company.”

“And Diamond Steele?”

“The woman who stepped up and stole the win and who stopped me from being able to right the damn ship, what did she do? What did she use the win for? Hmmm? She faded away into nothing and now we stand at a point where she might not even be a part of SCW anymore. So I lost for nothing, I lost for a stupid reason to a person who is not even a part of the damn title picture.”


She can’t help but scoff and laugh under her breath moving across the room before turning and sitting down on a chair back to front, leaning her arms over the back as she leans forward.

”And what did I do huh? I had to sit back and watch it all happen, sit back and watch my inability to see Diamond Steele be a sneaky bitch cost me a win. So, I walked. I took time to myself and watched as Zoey continued to climb to higher heights even in a loss to Tempest. But I needed that time away, I needed to look after my sons, to enjoy my life at home, I needed it and I wanted it. But there comes a time for all that to end…”

“And a week ago, that time came. I realised I had to get back here, I had to give this whole company and division a shot in the arm.”

“I know what my goals are, they’re simple, get back to the winning side and try and get a shot at Masque De Lune.”

“Seee, everyone else seems to be getting their shots against her, whether it was before she won the title or after it. They all constantly tried to drag her down, to beat her. And no one seems to have the answer to her. But maybe, just maybe I do. Maybe I can solve the riddle. End her reign of terror…but to do that, well I have to get back to where I was, a place I haven’t been able to go for over two years….two years since I was at the top of this division in this company….”

“I need to change that…”


She smiles and laughs again.

”And Bella Madison can help me. That’s right, I said help me. See, she can help me remember who I am and what I’m about by simply doing one thing. Something I hope Bella is ready to do. She can help me by brining everything she has against me. And for her, that is one of the most simple things in the world. Cause that is what Bella does every single match. Every single fight. It’s something you should all pat attention too. Win or lose Bella Madison leaves it all in the ring and will always know she did her best.”

“And every single opponent knows they’ve been in a fight….whether they beat Bella or not.”

“And that’s what I need from you Bella. I need that level or determination and strength. I need you to get in the ring and test me. Test me in the Wolfslair way. See, you know what that means don’t you? You know that even in training we give it our all and do everything we can to push each other. And lately you have shown a dedication to those ideals that have been stronger than even mine. You have been on a roll and knocking out Crystal was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

“But now, I need you to try and do the same to me. The only problem is, you know damn well I am not like Crystal, you know who you are facing and what I am Bella…but still…I want all you have to offer…I want everything you can do…so please Bella….try and beat me…try and destroy me…it’s the least you can do…”

3
Climax Control Archives / So you're saying there's a chance
« on: September 16, 2022, 09:44:55 AM »
”You did good kid.”

Sweat poured from off of a young Alicia Lukas. She stood up and breathed deep over and over again. Trying to catch her breath and composure was hard. Especially in the summertime, in this small warehouse of upstate New York. It was Wolfslair, but not the modern Wolfslair we all knew, filled with young stars and veterans alike, this was smaller, more intimate. Very few people were here training, a few familiar faces, long term members. But the one we focused on is Alicia. Standing with her back against the wall, a pool of sweat on the grapple mats as Alex gave her a nod.

She moved into the small lockeroom, running her hands through her hair, she pulled out an old ADIDAS gym bag, she unzipped it and pulled out an envelope. She closed her eyes and looked at it, obviously wanting to open it but hesitating. Alex moved in behind her, wrapping his arms over his chest, folding them over as he tilts his head looking at her. ”Expecting bad news?”

Alicia jumped, her hands moving the envelope as she turned but quickly realising there was no reason too, he’d seen it. She sighed and looked down before bringing it back up in one hand. ”Its my SCW contract.” Alex gave asmall nod and Alicia turned around sitting down in the bench in front of the lockers, her hands coming up to her face after sher placed the envelope down next to her. ”I don’t know if I should sign it…”

”Why not?” Alex raised an eyebrow as he asked the question, leaning against the opposite row.

She swallowed hard and looked up at him with a forlorn sigh.”It might hurt someone I care about and I-”

Alex interrupted putting his hand up. ”Hey look, my personal feelings about the Honor and SCW merger are mine Ali, it has nothing to do with you. Shit Austin has already signed his contract he's ready to go.”

Alicia shook her head and gave him a small smile and stood up. ”It’s not that…” She looked over at her locker, her phone lighting up as Alicia noticed the time and shook her head. ”Michael, he…wants us to have more kids now that we’re married. And I’m not ready. I told him when I was done wrestling and he seems to think because Honor is folding into SCW that it’s time”

”And what do you think?”

She cleared her throat and gave a small shrug. ”I’m not done with this business yet, I don’t know when I will be. And he’s being…pushy.” She paused and leaned forward, Alex stayed silent letting Alicia go and get it out. ”But, I don’t know what to do…I don’t know if my career can go higher.”

Alex scoffed and moved toward Alicie, leaning down and picking up the envelope, opening it up and looking over it. ”The sky is the limit with you kid. You can go as far as you want to. But, Michael, you love him and if he loves you he will respect your wishes, and drop this. If he doesn’t…if he can’t understand…well…it will destroy you…” He cleared his throat, folding up the contract and handing it back to Alicia, he was speaking from experience.

”You really think I can go far?...that I can go even higher than I already have?...”

Alex exhaled and laughed under his breath. ”As long as you don’t lose yourself?...there’s nothing that can stop you…”

The words echoed in her head. As long as you don’t lose yourself. That was a problem. She had lost herself. She had lost everything about herself that made her special. Taken away from her by a personal life and mental instability that had dragged her down, it had dragged everything down. She could feel the water pour from her body, similar to how the sweat had all those years ago. Her long blond hair was stuck to her back as she sat in the shower, letting the warm water go over her skin as she tried to hold back tears.

Why was she like this?

Why did everything seem to dark? Like there was nothing she could do right? And why is it that she couldn’t admit it to anyone? Only herself in her darkest moments. Like now, as she sat alone, her sons in bed fast asleep, at three am, in tears. She was tired, so tired, it was exhausting having to smile and put on the mask every single day. To go into the gym and smile and train, to fly out to wherever SCW was and perform like nothing was wrong.

Everything was wrong. Everything was making her tired. Maybe, just maybe everyone would be better off if she just walked away. Left the wrestling business, retired, walked from the gym and all her friendships. Maybe it was time to try and simply be a mother to her sons, a daughter to her mother and a sister to her siblings. Maybe it was time to leave Alicia Lukas behind and simply be who she was born to be.

Violet Maxwell.

She threw her head back, the thud of the back of her skull hitting the tile echoed in the bathroom, over the sound of the running water, her eyes welled up with tears. Without this, without wrestling….

”Who am I?”

”Pathetic?

Her head shot up, sitting outside the shower, on the small chair Alicie kept in the corner to place her dry clothes on, was Dr Whitlow. Instantly her heart sank, she pushes her body against the tiles and closed her eyes as tight as she could. The same mantra running through her head over and over again You are not real

”Not in the physical sense I’m not. But that doesn’t really matter does it?” Alicia opened her eyes, the frustration taking hold as she reached up, turning the water off before pushing to her feet and stepping onto the b athmat, reaching over to grab a towel.

She snarled at Dr Whitlow, who was still wearing the same light grey suit she was always in, the same hairstyle, the same everything since the day they “met”. ”Pity, you could of helped and handed me the goddamn towel.”

Whitlow turned her nose up. ”Little miss identity crisis is getting snarky now? You’re talking to your imaginary therapist and giving me lip…”

Alicia rolled her eyes and dried herself off before throwing the towel at the chair Whitlow was on, but as soon as the towel left her hand, the Doctor wasn’t there. Alicia sneered and laughed to herself. ”So that’s how I get rid of you” She grabbed her underwear, training shorts and a shirt pulling the top over her head.

”No…”

Alicia throw her hands in the air and turned around sitting on the chair, grabbing a pair of socks and her shoes pulling them on in a huff. ”Look, I don’t know why the hell you’re here, or rather why my subconscious feels the need to torture me, but I’m going for a run befoere making breakfast for my boys, so if you want to keep on destroying my self worth and sanity…you’ll have to come with me..”

Dr Whitlow shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. ”I think we’re good for today, I got you off the bathroom floor and ready to atleast get into your somewhat normal routine…so my job here is done..” Alicia looked away, scoffing as she looked up to find Whitlow gone. She moved toward the door and laughed under her breath.

”Bitch…”

So you’re saying there’s a chance

”I need to get something straight, right now, before we get into it.”

Alicia Lukas, former three time bombshells champion, wrestler of the year winner, fued of the year winner, a multitude of other awards, five time world champion and all that. Well, she’s here, in front of us. Her arms folded over her chest as she seems agitated.

”I didn’t ask for this and I’m not sure I earned it. I know, weird of me to say right? You’re all so used to me coming on SCW tv or on a website and me running my mouth about how I’m the best and everyone else is below me. And now, after what happened you’d expect the same right? Well, wrong. See, I was on a huge losing streak. Vargas, Ariana, Steele, the list went on. And now here I am with two wins under my belt. Candy and Cryst, sorry, La Rosa and I’m in a match that could lead me to High Stakes and a championship opportunity.”

“Do I deserve this? Maybe to Christian and Mark, but to me? My own mind and wellbeing? No, no I don’t. Truth is, if there is someone who deserves this match over me, is my sister Zoey. She has been laying waste to everyone in this business and this company, yet she doesn’t get an opportunity. And I do. And, I feel like shit for it.”

“Atleast, I did.”

“See, there is a problem in wrestling where none of us really talk to each other. We talk at each other, hurl insults and say cutting things yet do any of us really sit down and have a frank and honest conversation? Nah, of course not. But I went to Zoey, I talked to Zoey and she decided to put my reservations to rest. She told me I deserved this, she told me she believed in me and in that moment I believed it.”

“And honestly, I need to stop thinking about the losing streak like it was a bad thing and the end of me and who I am. I have now won two in a row, I have beaten to women who have held titles in SCW and I am back on that winning path with an opportunity in front of me to regain my spot, my position. ANd I need to keep going and truth be told. I look at the other three women and I realise, I can win this,,”


She snarled and gave a small shrug.

”Although, anything can happen, especially in an anything goes match, with four women all wanting the same thing. But, if I’m being honest, like really honest. I’m not the favorite in this match. Even with my history, even with what I have accomplished. The favorite in this match to win it and go on to High Stakes has to be Krystal Wolfe. See, Krystal has made a real name for herself in this business and this company. She ruled SCW’s roulette division with an iron fist and went on a run that so many others would dream to have.”

“And so many has questioned whether or not Krystal has what it takes to take that next step, to go from former Roulette champion to a contender for the Bombshells championship.”

“And while it is hard to say, and that until she wins that title she will have her detractors and naysayers, she has a believer in me.”

“I could see Krystal Wolfe beating myself, Diamond and Sam and going on to win the title at High Stakes. I can see her having that heart and that fight in her to go far. I can see it and that is more than I can say for alot of people and truth be told Krystal and I have had limited interactions and god knows I don’t give my respect out freely and rarely, and it’s even rarer I give it without going to war with someone a multitude of times. But Krystal is someone who has my respect.”

“Someone who could become a champion…”

“But will she? Just because I see it Krystal, just because I respect what you have accomplished and believe you could accomplish so much more doesn’t mean it’ll happen. I’m not nostradamus here making vague predictions that will magically come true. To win this match, to get to High stakes and to become the champion you need to have that belief, that heart. Many have questioned if I have that and for a time I didn’t think I did. But, taking a step back and realizing whoi I was and who I could be again?. Well, I have that belief in myself…do you?


Alicia can’t help but laugh to herself as she adjusts her leather jacket.

”But, there’s always the opposite isn’t there? Krystal earned my respect despite not facing me over and over again and proving it, whereas Diamond Steele has never had my respect and never will. I don’t respect someone who has one foot in and one foot out of this business. I may talk alot of shit about Roxi and Keira Johnson and about Mercedes Vargas but atleast they are professional wrestlers. Not failed musicians. And that is what you are Kate, it’s what you have always been.”

“But, I can hear your complaints from here. But, but, but, I should respect you now, because you were able to beat me. Because we went to war a few timea and you were able to get the win over me. You were part of that downward spiral and you are better than me. Right Diamond?”

“No, wrong.”

“See, when you beat me I sat back and watched you step up for a bombshells title shot. You used the win over me to leverage yourself a position higher on the card and a shot at greatness, a chance at the goddamn title and what did you do? What did you do with the opportunity the win over me afforded you? That big win that made you better than Alicia Fucking Lukas? You squandered it, you took it in both hands, laid it on the ground, squatted and took a big ol deuce..”

“Seems like a metaphor for your whole career eh Diamond?”

“You out in the bare minimum until you see a pathy of least resistance and think you can be a champion, the suddenly you live up to that potential you say you have, only to shit all over it. You take others momentum and suck it dry like some kind of vicious little talent vampire. And now here you are ready to try it all again and we are all left to wonder which Diamond is going to turn up. The one that puts effort in and could be a wrestling champion, or the half assed bitch who is just here to promote a new album of poorly written pop punk…”


She rolls her eyes, obviously annoyed.

”And then, we have the legend. Samantha goddamn Marlowe. Krystal is the favorite, Diamond is the annoyance and you?, you’re the most dangerous cause, well, you have nothing else to lose. Your reputation, your past, your history and legacy is essentially untouchable. No matter what you do now, even though there will be a few people, like me, who look at you now and think you are nowhere near who you used to be, most will look at you in reverence and awe. Remembering your career, seeing you in person.”

“But what if you win? What if you get a shot at it and you can recapture that title? That makes you dangerous, nothing to lose, everything to gain and a history of defying expectations.”

“Now, I’m not going to lie, the chances of you winning are even more out there than me. And as I think about it, like really think about it I realize just why I believe you are dangerous and why I’m scared of you…yes Sam, scared.”

“I don’t want to be like you.”

“I don’t want to look in the mirror, grab my gear and travel to whatever town or country we are in for SCW and go about doing the motions. Wrestle here, cut a promo there, I don’t want that Sam, I don’t want to be like you. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on you. Cause maybe you can win, maybe you can go on to be the champion again, I don’t know, I guess this is something that we are all here to find out huh?”


She chuckled to herself and sighed heavily, moving around the room in a move of self reflection.

”That is the chance we all have in front of us ladies. The winner gets to go to one of the biggest shows of the year and have a chance at the championship. Whether the champion is Masque or Mercedes, it won’t matter, one of us gets a shot. Althought, it is more likely it’ll be Masque. And then the question arrises, can I stop her? After what she has done to Amber and Roci, two generational talents, can I have a chance at ending her?”

“Mercedes I can beat, I know that. Even though she would have you believe she is the dominant one out of us, even though I have beaten her, every single time aside from the last time.”

“But this match, well this match could give me an opportunity to be a four time Bombshells champion, a shot at glory and a chance to reclaim my place…”

4
Supercard Archives / Re: ALICIA LUKAS v LA ROSA ARDIENTE
« on: September 02, 2022, 09:11:35 AM »
Masks

She was covered in sweat. Long blond hair tied back in a bun with a few strands down her face and back, stuck to her glistening skin. A water bottle sitting next to her, her upper body covered in a black and pink compression shirt, adorned with the Wolfslair logo on the back, her lower body, a pair of black and pink venum fight shorts. Alicia was smiling, she was happy. Endorphins released after a good work out.

She looked over with a large smile, Zoey Lukas, her hulking younger sister, backwards baseball cap on her head, earpods in with some kind of metalcore blaring. A metal bar over her back as she did squats with more weight than most of the men. In fact as Alicia looked around she saw them, open mouths, staring as Zoey hummed the tune of the song, dropping down and pushing up as she exhaled and stood back up.

She was proud of Zoey. Proud of what her younger sister had accomplished in a short time in SCW.

Her frustrations sat within herself. Within her own performances and her position with the company. As well as the decorum and attitude of her fellow bombshells. She stared off into space, reminding herself of the position she had found herself in. She leaned forward, taking a sip of her water, trying to concentrate on something, anything else. She didn’t even hear Zoey finish her workout and come over to her. It was just a voice in the distance, a numb sound followed by a ringing in her ears that seemed to stop as suddenly as it began.

”Hey, you listening to me?” She snapped out of it, looking up at her sister, Zoey raised an eyebrow and shook her head before turning and sitting down next to Alicia. Both of them desreed very similar except the pink trim was replaced with neon green. ”What’s up with you? You have been distant as all hell the last few weeks.” She was right of course. And Alicia knew it. But she had no idea how to explain it, and didn’t want to put her burdens on Zoey.

”I’m ok Zo, I just have alot on my mind with SCW ya know?”

She shot back a smile, Zoey frowned and say back raising her legs up and resting her arms on her knees. ”I get the feeling you don’t want me around. Like…is it that bad us working together?”

Alicias head snapped forward, she shook her head and reached over grabbing Zoeys wrist. ”It’s not that Zo, at all.” She smiled at her younger sister and sat back looking up at the roof. ”I’m not happy with my career. I know that might seem like whining. I have had a career most would dream of but I have fallen off lately. And I have been very vocal about it. I just feel like I’m failing…”

Zoey shook her head and planted her feet pulling herself up and turning to hold out her hand. Alicia took it and got pulled to her feet. The two sisters sharing a moment. ”Failing? Look you might not be the champion, you might not be winning matches left and right but I’d hardly say you were failing…I mean I heard you last week before the match with Candy and with La Rosa-”

Crystal” Alicia said forcefully, angrilly, full of frustration.

Zoey laughed to herself and gave a small nod holding her hands up in defeat. ”My point is you had passion, you were so angry that someone would do this as well as being booked against Candy you let it go. And for a moment it was like…I dunno..”

Zoey paused, sounding like she wanted to say something, anything else. Alicia raised her eyebrow. ”Like what?”

Zoey took a pause and a breath, it wasn’t usually like her to hold in her thoughts or feelings, or to sugar coat or second guess. ”It seemed like you were the old Alicia. The one that turned up in Honor and murdered everyone, the one that then came here and destroyed the competition. The one that I used to get angry at when I tried to forge my way in wrestling and all I heard was “Oh hey your sister did” over and over again…”

Alicia chuckled and slowly gave a nod of admission and a smile. ”I can’t argue with that. Shit, the match with Candy had me feeling like me again.”  Alicia cleared her throat. ”Honestly, since the divorce I just haven’t..felt the same.” She trailed off and stared ahead, in the distance, moving between the equipment. It looked like…Dr Whitlow. A chill going up Alicias spine. ”I…I have to go..”

”Ali?”

”I’ll///I’ll text you later ok?...” Alicia backed up and turned moving as fast as she could toward the showers. Zoey tilted her head, looking toward the equipment that seemed to spook Alicia so much. Alicia burst through the door, moving toward the locker areas, pulling the small steel door open and pulling her bag out. She grabbed her phone, unlocking it and sending a message off. Before she could hit sending a voice startled her.

”What are you doing Violet?” It startled her, the aged voice of the Doctor. Alicia turned, finding her standing in front of her, in a grey suit, her hands clasped together with her glasses down the end of her nose. ”Sening a text message to your ex husband? Begging for help? This isn’t the strong independent woman you tried to be dear.”

Alicia tookm sharp breaths in and out shaking her head and closing her eyes muttering to herself over and over again. You’re not here, you’re not here, you’re not here” She opened her eyes and Dr Whitlow was still there, her hands moving as she folded her arms over her chest.

Alicia wanted to scream throwing her hands in the air and pacing back and forth. ”You can’t get rid of me until you accept who you are….and that isn’t going to happen messaging Michael”

Alicia sneered and shook her head looking down and away. ”Leave me alone…” She said it low, she said it quietly before her head shot up. ”LEAVE ME ALONE!” There was no one, her voice echoed through the empty room, bouncing off the tiled walls. Her heart was racing, she stepped back and slid down the wall to the floor taking deep breaths. Trying to calm herself down.

A bruised rose

”Well. Sometimes “I told you so” won’t cut it.”

Alicia couldn’t help but laugh, pacing back and forth, already looking frustrated and angry. Many would say emotional or full of anger. She shook her head and stared forward.

”Going into my match against Candy I said that no matter where I was in my professional life that I could and would beat her. I told you all she didn’t belong in the ring with me. And that she doesn’t even belong in the damn company. And that isn’t just hyperbole, that’s the truth. Candy doesn’t belong in SCW or the bombshells division. This company, this whole company is for wrestlers. Not pretend wannabes. And now that I have beaten her again and reminded the world of who I am and what I’m about, hopefully that bubblehead idiot takes the hint and we don’t have to ever see her  in this company or in the ring with me ever again….”

“Atleast, that is my hope. And I get it, I do. I understand that in a wrestling company sometimes we keep bringing people back for a cheap pop and moment that shouldn’t really exist. And trust me, if there is a phrase that perfectly exemplifies Candy..it’s “cheap pop”..”

“But, she should not have been here and I sent her packing.”

“And as a professional athlete I do what my bosses ask. I get in the ring multiple times with people who are not on my level and I do it with a smile because I am asked. I did it with Candy, all this year Candy was there, in my face and time after time I beat her and made her look like the useless inept child we all know she is. And, now, I am doing it with Crystal Hilton-Miller-Zdunich.”

“I really hate her names…”


Alicia rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath trying to remain calm and centered instead of exploding all over the place and getting furious.

”And now we can add a new one to that. La Rosa Ardiente. Or, the burning rose in English. And yes, really, I’m not making that up. Crystal turned around and named herself, under a mask, her fucking nickname and then thought no one would notice a luchadora, who is the same height, body type and moves the same. Do you understand why I’m annoyed Crystal? It’s not just that it’s you, and trust me on this, I dislike you and always will, your attempts at “building bridges” with me have done nothing but make me want to kick you in the face as hard as I can and assist with your goddamn dental surgery…”

“But, in this instance the annoyance I feel is not directly tied to it being you. No. it’s because it was lazy. You want to do this whole thing where you pretend to be someone else and try and fool everyone then why not dye your hair, come up with a better name, maybe take some time at the gym to put some muscle on that wirey frame of yours or go eat a cheese burger and then learn some different goddamn wrestling moves so maybe, just maybe we have no idea it’s you?”

“Hmm? Good idea?”

“The anger I feel isn’t just because it’s you it’s because you were lazy with it and decided to simply do the bare fucking minimum, which, if anyone has followed your career knows is the goddamn norm for you.”

“I have never in my life met anyone as prepared to take a shortcut as the “great” Crystal Hilton. And yes I am going to use that name because I am sick and tired of you changing your name and personality every few months to “freshen” up your career. You want to know how to freshen up your career? Petrol and a box of matches would be a goddamn good start you horse faced bitch.


Alicia clearly has lost it, her eyes narrowing as she growls under her breath.

”And it’s quite the history you and I have isn’t it? Now borderline problematic racial issues aside with you and your…less than classy comments while under the mask, we need to remember something when it comes to SCW. See, Crystal, you have been a champion here, and you have beaten the best and at various times have had the right to call yourself the best in the world, or the GOAT. But, based on our history you have never, ever, been able to say that you are better than me. Every single time you have stepped to me in any match that matters you have failed miserably.”

“To put it bluntly. I have made you my bitch for the last six years.”

“And now, here you are, back in SCW after your life started falling apart and you got canned and thrown out on your ass expecting all of us that celebrated your downfall to welcome you back with open arms like nothing happened. That shit doesn’t fly. And what’s worse is that you believe a new coat of paint, a change in accent and a win over Char Kwan of all people is going to get you back top the top of the division. I don’t know whether to admire your determination or be disappointed at the rampant stupidity…”


She paces back anfd forth again, a black bandana sitting under her long blond hair and tied so the knot is at the front of her head.

”But don’t worry Crystal, Rosa, whatever the fuck. I am going to do you a solid here. See, at Violent conduct I am going to walk down to that ring, I am going to do what I always do, and when my hand is raised and you are laying on the mat is an much pain and anguish as I am legally allowed to inflict upon you, I am going to tear that mask off your head and expose you to the world. And hopefully, hopefully…you’ll learn a lesson…”

5
Climax Control Archives / Cracks
« on: August 19, 2022, 09:04:09 PM »
Cracks

Beep bop boop beep

The ringing tone of the Skype call sound echoes through the hotel room. Alicia blinks a few times, her long blond hair everywhere as she puts one of her legs up onto the chair, a long sleeved oversized Metallica shirt and a pair of small denim shorts on her body as a cup of fresh coffee sits in front of her. The noise keeps going, over and over again. But there is no pickup, Alicia tilts her head, the call ends.

Not Available

She lets out a sigh, pushing off the glass table moving around and running her hands through her head, she looked at her phone, nothing. The silence around her was deafening. The pressure of the room, the walls closing in. Alicia sat down on the end of the couch, her elbows on her knees, her phone in her hands. She opened it, flicking down the list of contacts, facebook messenger, whatsapp, a wolfslair group chat. But there was nothing she could say, even though she had so much she wanted to say. She hated this, all of it. Being away from home, away from her sons, away from her friends. She had her sister, she had the other few members of Wolfslair that had made the India trip. But Miles and Zoey were too busy at the various gyms in every hotel stop, trying to outwork each other before getting food and drink upon drink.

This was the first time in a long time she felt alone. Not just alone, lonely. For most of Alicias life she was around people. Her mother, her brother and sister, then various gyms and other wrestlers. Her relationships, from Chris Cane, to Kaden Kessler, Travis Blake….Michael….

They had always been around her. Even as her relationship ended she still had her sons, she still had Wolfslair.

But now, in a foreign land, without Alex, who was still injured, without Austin who had all but disappeared aside from a few disturbing social media posts following his wife’s tragic death. No Johanna, Alicia found herself even missing the angry German who had been a vicious piece of the puzzle. Out of the original four, the group of Wolfslair not just the gym, she was the final one. She was the one waving the flag, but it was a flag that had faded. Finn Whelan was a part of Wolfslair, Zoey, Miles, Lachlan. All members of the gym but none of them were part of the group.

That was dead and gone.

Buried.

And it had not gone out with a bang. No grand war, no final match where all four of them stood together. It just faded away. She felt it slip and disappear, and there was nothing she could do about it. No changes she could make, no great speech she could give. It was gone. But she hadn’t had time to grieve or mourn the end of it. Until now. Not until she had these quiet moments full of silence sitting alone in an Indian hotel room. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath until a voice startled her.

”Need to talk?”

Alicias eyes sprung open. She looked around, it was the familiar voice of Dr Whitlow. She shook her head, breathing fast as her heart beat started to raise up and move faster, the tempo only matched by the pressure. ”No…no no no no” Her hands started to shake, her body followed, she stood up and paced back and forth. She didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole again, she didn’t want her mind to break and fracture. She didn’t need this pressure. She didn’t need the pain and fear that came with it.

She looked back over at her ope laptop, the small red notification from skype popped up on the icon down near the task bar. She walked over, it was from Alex. She sighed and closed her eyes pressing the icon to call back. The familiar tone, followed by a pickup, on the other end was Alex. He sat in his home office, it was dark outside there, she swallowed hard, forgetting the time difference between them. ”Hey Kid, you ok?”

She swallowed hard, her voice was shaky with her breathing. ”Uh…I don’t know…” She looked down, Alex stayed quiet but he let out a small sigh, he knew something was wrong, he always did. But he always knew when to stay quiet or offer advice, when to push or when to sit back. Alicia shook her head and looked up. ”I just, I feel myself failing…like…failing…as in, I don’t know if I’m even meant to do this anymore.”

Alex just tilted his head and smirked. ”Why?”

Alicia shook her head again and threw her hands up. Almost not believing the question. She cleared her throat and laughed nervously. ”Why?” Alicia turned and [ushed up again pacing back and forth. Her hands fidgeting as she moved around. ”In the last few months I lost to Vargas, to Steele and to Angelos. An over the hill old woman who had never beaten me till that point, now she won’t shut up about it, a never was who spends more time playing rockstar than wrestling and a kid who couldn’t buy a win….and you ask Why?”

Alex shook his head and laughed, Alicia narrowed her eyes and looks right at him. But Alex’s voice raises.”Yeah, why? For years all I have heard out of you is how bad you wanted the Bombshells division to rise up to your level. So now Vargas finds her pride, Steele finds her balls and Angelos steps up and you’re upset about it?”

”Yeah I-”

”You what?...” Alex interrupted. His eyes burning right through Alicias laptop screen. ”You wanted this division to stand up and challenge you, you wanted this. And now here we are. Everyone has stepped up their game, everyone has gotten better. So, now it’s your turn…” He shakes his head and laughs to himself. ”Are you going to just walk away? Or are you going to do what you have been telling EVERY SINGLE OTHER WRESTLER to do the last four years and step up?”

Alicia went silent. The upset and fear she had seemed to melt away and what was left, was shame. Shame that she let a few losses do this to her, shame that she let herself get so petty, and shame for allowing it to spill over onto social media like she had. She closed her eyes and took a breath before nodding. ”Ok, you’re right. I just…I’m going stir crazy. Everything has been spiraling, everything has been just…failing…”

Her voice faded out, Alex swallowed hard and leaned forward with a heavy sigh as if he could feel the pressure of everything he said as well as realising how Alicia felt. ”This isn’t just about the matches is it?......” She stayed silent but shook her head. ”Ok….this is, hard, for everyone. The state of the gym as well as what is happening with some of our members…I get it…and I get you feel alone…but none of us abandoned you.” His voice broke, Alicia swallowed and looked up. ”I’m always here, no matter what….”

He smiled, Alicia took a deep breath and smiled back with a nod. ”Thanks Alex…I’ll see you…and everyone else..when I get back..”

Life is like a box of Candy

”First thing is first…congratulations to Ariana on beating me a few weeks ago.She earned it, she stepped up when I asked her to and she showed the world she is more than just a name on a list. Or a member of the Go gym. Ariana could have a future here. So, I hope after that win, that she can continue her upward swing….”

Alicia swallows and shakes her head trying to pull it all together.

”But, that is for her sake. Not mine. See, Vargas beat me and seemingly won’t let anyone forget about it through various means and ego stroking. And now she gets a little shot out of it. Good for her. Along with Seleana Zdunich. Hey, that’s great, I hope one of them wins it instead of both of them failing like Kate Steele did. And I get it, it’s rich coming from me but this is the issue and an indicative point of context that needs to be said. Women who have been able to beat me get opportunities. And I have been sitting around, thinking about this for a while and I suppose I should be honored right? Being looked at as some kind of semi final boss that stands in the way of others before they can take on the big bad of SCW…”

“I could sit back and enjoy the fact I am seen as the measuring stick of the bombshells division. Or, I can rebuild who I once was. And I get it, I do, I have had a career that so many others would envy. World titles, reigns that have become the stuff of legend. I dominated Honor, I dominated WWH and I dominated here. And after all that I am still looked at with respect and I appreciate that. I could just fade away and be happy with my “spot” But, I see others who have done that. Other women and men who once dominated their respective divisions and now just simply…exist…”

“I am not about that life.”

“I have often talked about Roxi Johnson, and some of it hasn’t been very positive. I have talked about how her whole happy, smiley “hero” character is nothing but a fake bullshit mask that hides the real selfish bitch behind it, and I will stand by my words there. However. She is a woman who could have done what I just suggested. She could have come back to SCW and played the role of respected veteran, having a nice paycheck, a nice spot. That isn’t what happened….”


Alicia smiles and shakes her head, adjusting her shirt as it sits under a black leather biker jacket.

”Roxi didn’t rest on her laurels, she returned, she dominated and is a world champion again. I respect that. I respect what she has done, I respect what she has been capable of. And it is something that I hope to emulate, I just don’t know how. See, in the past when I’ve lost, I’ve gone home, I’ve dissected it and thought about it, I have done everything I can to break down my mistakes and screw ups. And I have risen above it. But lately, lately it hasn’t worked. I have done everything I can to rise above my failures and…I’ve just failed more….”

“So maybe, just maybe I need to change my ideas, change my style, change my attitude. Get back to basics and start from the bottom, and work my way up.”

“And to be honest with all of you, there is no one closer to the bottom, than Candy.”


She laughs and moves her hand through her long blonde hair with a sigh.

”Oh little Candy. It seems as if we have both been sliding down the totem pole of relevancy isn’t it? Oddly enough the last time you and I mattered to this company and this division was when we faced each other. What fun that was eh Candy? You used the glitter, I pretended I was blind because, lets face it, the glitter is a brilliant but incredibly underhanded tactic. And I questioned whether or not you were a secret evil genius pretending to be a moron to get all the fans and management on your side. But, I believe I have the answer to that. I believe you’re an idiot. I believe you are a candy coated dip shit that rain mans her way through life.”

“You are, the wrestling Forrest Gump.”

“The wrestling I am Sam.”

“And whenever someone calls you out on it, you have your husband Marcus say evil mean things about them because you are to cowardly to say any of these things yourself. The worst thing I have ever heard you say is calling people a “meanie head”. You are a grown woman who spends her days with a man who spends more time on his body than he does on your marriage and a fluffball dog that has a higher IQ than you.”

“And now you are coming back to face me again. You are two and zero against me in the last year Candy. Twice this year you did everything you could to beat me and twice you failed.”


Alicia shrugs and paces back and forth.

”Of course, you could beat me. Somehow. But while Vargas, Steele and Angelos turned their wins over me into something you wouldn’t. See, aside from a few Roulette title wins you have had a career that can be described as mediocre. And that’s honestly all you are. Mediocre. Mediocre in the ring, on the mic and as a GM you sucked. You came up with the stupidest most mind numbing matches any of us had ever seen. And here’s the thing Candy, I don’t blame you. Getting angry at you for doing something mind numbingly dumb would be like getting angry at a dog pissing on your floor…”

“And I have already rubbed your nose in it twice and tossed you out the fucking door.”

“And I find myself needed to do it again. I find myself in need of a win, in need of a restart. And as I said, I’ve hit rock bottom Candy, and so have you. All we heard from management was “Candy is coming back” and after all the build and people talking, you arrived, you got in the ring and you failed. You failed miserably. Yeah just like I have over the last month or so, but Alicia Lukas is not a joke, I am not going to be the gatekeeper or the measuring stick of the SCW womens division. I am going to be the comeback story of 2022. The returning hero, the goddamn beast I used to be. I will scratch and claw my way back to the top and I will step on whoever I need to. And that starts with you…”

6
Climax Control Archives / The Impact of leaving
« on: August 05, 2022, 08:34:46 AM »
The Impact of leaving…

We sometimes don’t think of how our actions impact others. How a decision, made for the betterment and positivity of our own lives and mental wellbeing can send ripple effects to those around us. Of course, in the end we have to do what is best for us. What is best for the individual. You do not and never will owe anyone else anything. But, sometimes you make sacrifices for them. For loved ones and their lives. And if you don’t the guilt can be crippling. But what is even worse, what really can break you and hurt you, is not realising what you did hurt others. And them not understanding just how bad it was.

Ten years ago, Alicia Lukas returned from Japan. In her early twenties, barely out of her teens, she had lived a life that many others could only dream of. Or have nightmares of. From having to be in a relationship that was mentally and physically abusive. After feeling the sting of a rich piece of shit, after being a teenage mother and making the heartbreaking decision to run from that abuse and to leave her children behind she had to return. Return to her mother, her brother, her sister and fight for her children.

It had been eye opening. She went to Japan, a place that had always held a special piece of her heart. A place that her father had told her about before he left. A place where he made money, where he was treated as a conquering hero. Where the people of Japan embraced him and he learned more about professional wrestling than he could dream. So, with no other ideas, she ran to the east.

Her time in Japan opened her eyes. She learned to wrestle, falling in love with what her father once did, becoming very very good at it in a short amount of time as she took to it like a fish to water. In Japan, on those sweat drenched blood stained mats that she trained on, fought on and slept on. Violet Maxwell died. And reborn was a new woman. Alicia Lukas. A confident, tough as nails fighter who was not going to let anyone or anything hurt her or use her ever again. It was those three years of blood, sweat and tears that prepared her mentally to go home.

Seeing her mother, it was something she thought was going to be the hardest part. But, she was wrong.

Her sister refused to speak to her. The day after seeingh her mother for the first time she returned, knowing it qas a saturday, knowing her younger sister would be home from school. Alicia was excited to see her, excited to be able to reconnect with her. And as she walked in, as her mother Barbara gave her a small nod and didn’t explode at her, Alicia felt calm and happy, after all, her sister had to understand. She moved through the main foyer, out to the back where her sister was sitting, a book in front of her as she scribbled down notes. Alicia opened the sliding glass door and stepped out.

She couldn’t believe how much she’d grown. Her long blond hair tied back, a black leather studded wrist band tight around her right arm. Black eyeliner and she was wearing a black band shirt and jeans. Alicia smiled. ”Hey Mom, I’ll need to go to the library on Monday afternoon…”

”I can pick you up if you want.” Alicia answered and laughed to herself. Her sisters hand stopped, there was silence and the air changed, the mood went dark and Alicia couldn’t help but feel it. Her sister dropped the pen and sat back before letting out a deep breath, not even turning to look at Alicia.

Instead she swallowed hard and cleared her throat. ”I didn’t know you were back Violet.” Alicia winced, hearing her name yesterday from her mother was rough, but hearing it again from her sister made her feel sick.

Alicia stepped forward and smiled. ”I go by Alicia now, decided to use my middle name, and mom’s maiden name, get a fresh start ya know?” She smiled and tried to keep her mood and ntone warm and inviting, her sister refused to look at her, instead staring out onto the grounds, her eyes gliding across the luch green grass to the trees at the far end, past the marble sculptures that stood out there in the center. ”How have you been Rosie?”

Her sister sneered and shook her head. She finally turned to look at her sister, a frown on her face as she seemed angry, and more than that, hurt. ”Really? How have I been? Now you care? You fucking disappear for the last four years and just want to turn back up like nothing happened?” Alicia took a step back, she was surprised at how angry Rose was. But she tried to accept it. ”I’d just turned fucking 13 and suddenly you were gone, I called Ronnie’s and he was the one who told me…you’d run off, middle of the night…no goodbyes…nothin..” She tutted and rolled her eyes throwing her hand in the air and turning away.

Rose Maxwell had always been stubborn and strong willed. But this was different, she’d gone through puberty. Alicia remembered a 13 year old who looked up to her younger sister. Not this angry seventeen year old. Her long blond hair was like hers, her facial structure to. They booth looked more like their father than their ,other. Rose stood up, she was tall, taller than Alicia, she inherited their fathers height to. ”I get you’re upset, but you need to understand Rosie..I-”

”It’s Zoey….” She interrupted, Alicia tilted her head, Rose turned up her nose as Barbara shook her head standing behind Alicia. ”You’re not the only one who got sick of the flower name and went with their middle name…I go by Zoey…” Alicia turned to their mother, Barbara shrugged and took a sip of her iced tea.

”Ok…Zoey…” Alicia backed off and looked down. Zoey swallowed hard asnd shook her head. Alicia looked over at their mother again who again shrugged having no idea what to say. ”Look, I….I get I should have said something. But I was in a bad place. A very bad place. Ronnie was….” She trailed off, looking down at her arm where she could still feel Ronnies hand wrapped around her wrist to pull her back. Remembering everything, from a slap, to his yelling hurting her ears. It was all still there. Zoey looked into Alicias eyes and looked down too.

”I just…needed you…” Zoey turned away, Alicia looked at their mother who took the hint and moved back inside. Zoey moved to the bannister and leaned on it, Alicia coming up next to her. ”You know how hard it was, having someone you talked to about everything suddenly gone right when everything was becoming the worst?” She swallowed hard.

Alicia reached out grabbing her shoulder. ”I’m sorry, I am. But you have to understand Zo, I’m here now, here to help you and be there for the rest of your life…” She turned Zoey to her, smiling softly and looking her younger sister right in the eyes. ”And, if I hadn’t of run, if I didn’t leave…I don’t think I would have survived…and then…I’d be gone forever…” They stayed silence, Zoey just looked at Alicia and her expression changed. She tilted her head and her eyes softened. Alicia then answered a question Zoey didn’t even need to ask. ”It was that bad Zo….it was terrible…it was killing me…but, I’m still sorry..”

Zoey leaned forward, ase wrapped her long arms around her sister and squeezed, Alicia squeezed back and smiled. For the first time, she felt home.

Losses can help you. And hurt you.

Smash!. Boom.

The sound of a glass hitting the wall, smashing and falling to the floor is the first thing we hear. Coming in to Alicia Lukas, her hands gripping the kitchen counter of the hotelroom shes staying in for this leg of the Indian tour She growls and throws her hands in the air.

”I get it. There’s going to be alot of armchair warriors out there sitting behind their computers talking about how one loss shouldn’t define anyone while another section talking about how I just lost to Kate Diamond Steele Warren whatever the fuck. People talking about how my career is now over, because I got beaten by a fucking overrated wannabe rockstar. And, part of them are right. I lost to someone I shouldn’t have. I brought that bitch back to relevancy. I was the one who made people talk about her again and I was the one who made the fucking match matter. I was the one who did all the promotion, all the talk9ing, all the fucking work to get people to give a shit about Diamond fucking SDteele.”

“And what’s worse? I needed that win. I needed it to get back on the horse after I lost to Vargas. I needed to be able to hold my head high to get back to the position I needed to be. I needed to win and I wanted to win. Diamond didn’t need it, that bitch is like a dog chasing a goddamn car. She wanted it so bad and wanted to catch it, then when she got it she has no goddamn idea what to do with it. What did she do after beating me huh? What did she do? Did she take that win and make the division better? Did she parlay that shit into a winning run where it was a renaissance for her or her family?”

“Or did she try and step up to Roxi Johnson and get bitch slapped baclk down to irrelevancy where she belongs?”

“Have you noticed a theme here? People get a win over me, something that should be a goddamn rarity in this business and then do absolutely nothing with it. What the hell did Vargas do? Did she go and win the Roulette title? Nope. Did Diamond do anything? Nope, she just turned up, ran her mouth for twenty to thirty minutes about shit that didn’t matter, repeating herself at times and then when she had a chance to back it up…boom…lost..”


Alicia raises her voice, reaching out and slamming her fist on the kitchen counter so hard the bowl sitting on the sink bounced, the spoon inside rattling. She sneered and her nostrils flared. She was angry, she was hurt, she was disappointed in herself and the company.

”Most of the time when I lose, I’m disappointed, I’m hurt, but I can understand it. I can self analyze and see where I went wrong and where I need to improve. Those losses are lessons. It’s a personal mantra that for years has served me well as I have been able to learn and become a better wrestler and be someone who0 is hard to beat. And I have tried so hard to impart that knowledge onto people in this company. To tell people like Jessie Salco to accept their losses and learn from them, to tell women like Bea Barnhart that sticking their fucking head in the sand like moronic ostriches and ignoring their losses while lying about how good they are gets them NOWHERE.”

“But, sometimes there are losses where deep down you know you should have won. Times when you know a loss was total bullshit. That match against Diamond, a loss against Seleana and the one against Keira. They were all total bullshit that should have never EVER have happened. But I smiled asnd took it on the chin, I got angry, I vented, but I stayed the course in trying to make this place and the stupid, moronic sycophants that inhabit it better. But that, that loss where I don’t agree…where I can’t see where I went wrong..that’s the last fucking one…”

“If I know you’re below me, if I know I should beat you thrn from now on it won’t be about pinning you or making you tap…no…no that’s too fucking easy.”

“From now on…I’m going to hurt you bitches. Starting with my opponent this week. Ariana Angelos. Cause there is not any fucking way I should be losing to some go bot go gym bitch. This whole narrative of Wolfslair versus Go gym…it’s killing me. You guys think these kids are better than us? That Krystal is actually better than Zoey? Or better than Johanna was? Are you kidding?”


She scoffs and rolls her eyes pacing back and forth.

”Now, I can’t say someone like Ariana isn’t talented. Cause you are kid. You’re a plucky hard worker who turns up to every match ready to scrap and win or lose you know the person you’re facing knows that they have been in a fight. So for that reason alone I’m excited about getting in the ring with you. But good intentions and a plucky attitude doesn’t get you the respect you need to get ahead in this business. Do you know what does? Wins. Wins against big names. Wins against me, against Mercedes, Against Roxi, Against Amber whenever she comes back.”

“Wins against women like that will make you a star. And more than just a member of a gym. See, I have been in that position, I have been there, where you are a part o0f something bigger than you and yuou need to get it through your head that the people you train with might make you better, but they are also people who will try and overshadow you. So you need to be the best Ariana…and I’m sorry but you’re not. Krystal and Carter are both bigger stars than you and are both going to be for a long time.”

“Last time you and I faced Ariana…I beat you and I told you that I would be waiting. I told you I’d wait for you to fight your way back up to beat me. And you might think that it’s what happened…”

“But the sad truth of all of this Ariana? You didn’t fight your way UP to me, I lost my way DOWN to you. I lost to Vargas and Diamond and instead of going on to try and get MY title back, instead of getting matches against the best this company has to offer I’m now stuck facing you again, someone who was lest seen getting yeated out of the ring by Tempest like a fucking lawn dart….and that somehow means we’re on a collision course. So that tells me exactly what this company thinks of me…”

“I’m old news.”


Alicia grinds her teeth together and folds her arms over her chest.

”Nah, this company is now all about Melissa, Kayla Richards, my sister, Masque De Lune, Roxi…that is the direction this company wants to go and now I’m just another cog in the machine. I’m not the one to be feared anymore. I’m just a name on a goddamn match up sheet that gets stapled to a locketroom every week. And now I have to lower myself to face you again Ariana…”

“And yes, lowerr myself. That might seem harsh, and that might seem like a real bitchy thing to say. But you told me last time we faced that you had been working your ass off in SCU and now in SCW you were ready to take the world by storm. How did that go Ariana? Have you taken SCW by storm? Or have you just become another name on the list of average wrestlers in this company. You haven’t lived up to that potential you said you had, you haven’t lived up to the promises you made and now here we are again ready to go…”

“And this time I hope you got your facts streat. Considering you forgot an entire world title reign I had, rather convieniently.”

“You said my last world bombshells reign ended in 2019 when Roxi beat me. No, my last title reign ended when Keira beat me. And that was one of those three losses that I had been vocal about in my displeasure, Kind of strange I need to bring that up isn’t it? Almost like maybe you need to pay more attention or simply not bring up thin gs you don’t know about., Things like being the best and winning the bombshells world title. And see, that ki9nd of pressure, being the best for that long, winning awards like wrestler of the year. That pressure, that kind of focus that you need can break a regular person..”

“Something women like you fail to get or understand Ariana. But you will understand. You will feel it. When I stand above you and win our second match and show you that gap between us hasn’t shortened, when I show you I am still on a complewtely different level, then, well…maybe you’ll see what you need to do to really be a champion and to really be the best. Cause right now…you just don’t get it…and I’m scared…you never will..”

7
Caged

If I learned anything from my past, it’s that no matter how strong you feel, no matter how independant and powerful, there is always something in this world that can tear you down. It can be something as simple as a few words spoken in a demeaning tone from someone whose opinion you value. It can take a hold of you, it can pull you down into quicksand. And once it has you, once you feel it pulling you down, you know you’re going to sink.

You fight and fight and fight. But in the end al it does it make it worse.,

The more you struggle the more the feel restricted. The tighter the grip becomes. And then you feel it around your chest, your arms, creeping up your neck till everything is black. You can’t breathe, you can’t think and everything feels out of arms length.

When you hit rock bottom and you can’t go any further down you look up and it all seems to far away.

It’s that moment when you know your worth.

You can stay there, on the ground, suffocated by your failures and insecurities. Or you can stand up. You can stand up and scratch and claw and fight to get back up to the top. And if you get struck down again and again then it is on you to make sure you pull yourself back up. It is on you to push back against the obstacles in your way.

I am done letting everyone tell me about my mistakes, I own them, I face them. And I will walk away laughing.

Isolation

This was meant to be fun. A moment of celebration and enjoyment. SCW’s Summer Xtreme show. One that so many on the SCW roster looked forward to. An all expenses paid vacation. A working vacation, but a vacation. A cruise on a state of the art liner, swimming pools, sunshine, alcohol, great food and fan experiences. It had became a trademark of the SCW event calender. A show that everyone looked forward to as they all got to go and relax and recharge even as the event itself loomed over them.

But this wasn’t a fun time for Alicia Lukas.

Her closest friends were dealing with personal issues. From the death of Austins wife, to Alex’s injury, to Alicia's own struggles as she fought to put her life back together again. In reality a holiday is exactly what she needed. The sun, the sea air, a relaxing time. But instead of enjoying the activities offered on the ship, instead of partying it up like her younger sister Zoey Alicia locked herself away.

She kneeled on the floor of her cabin, her hands on her knees as she kept her back straight, her eyes closed. Long deep breaths passing in and out. In through the nose, out through the mouth. She kept herself calm and steady, taking her mind to a place of focus. The last few days, being on the Sun princess, she had gone to the gum early in the morning, she had her food delivered to her room, she spent her time studying, watching taupe and focusing on the task ahead. A brutal match of her own choice.

It all lay ahead. A cell, a rival and the violence that comes with it. A chance to close a chapter but also start a new one. A chance to show that mean streak and killer instinct that made her such a threat earlier in her career.


Have I lost it?

The question repeated in her head over and over again. Through conversations had with everyone at Wolfslair, from Johanna Krieger to Finn Whelan. She asked over and over again, did she still have that streak? Did she still have that need and want to be the best and that determination to strive forward? Did she still have that killer instinct to break everyone in her way to regain the world title?

It’s said the greatest opponent you will every have and the hardest rival is the person in the mirror, that self doubt. That insecurity.

And in Alicias case it was true. She had this feeling in her stomach, a feeling of fear that she was no longer the woman she was. And now, as if to prove that point here she was. Kneeling in her cabin, meditating and thinking instead of enjoying her time, enjoying the cruise. Her contemplation was interrupted as a knock came on her door. She sighed heavily and shook her head, she had no food coming, there was no reason for anyone to be there.

No phone call from an emergency, nothing. But then another knock and this time a voice.

”Hey…open up…” It was Zoey, Alicia growled and pushed up to her feet moving across the room to open her cabin door. ”Christ what were you doing?..” She pushed passed her older sister, stepping through into her room two drinks in her hands. She put them on the counter and turned looking Alicia up and down. Shew frowned and shook her head, Zoey was dressed in a black bikini top and black and red board shorts, she was relaxed with her hair slicked back. ”Have you been out of this cabin in the last two days?”

”I’ve been busy” Zoey scoffed not believing Alicias bullshit for a moment. Alicia just laughed to herself and folded her arms over her chest as Zoey grabbed the dronks offering one to her sister. ”No thanks..”

Zoey pushed the drink forward again. ”You’re kidding me right? We’re on a damn cruise ship, it’s a beautiful 90 degrees outside with a beautiful fresh sea air, there’s so many guys up there on that deck with six packs walking around and you’re down here in the dark?” Zoey paused and shook her head. ”You need to unwind….chill out…have a drink…relax..”

”Shouldn’t you be off trying to get Miles to cheat on his airhead girlfriend?” Zoey smirked and shrugged with an evil grin. Alicia stepped forward, not even stopping to enjoy her dig. ”In a few days I am stepping into a cell with someone I despise and I hate… I don’t have time to unwind or relax Zo….”

”So you’re going to stay with a stick up your ass?” Alicia raised her eyebrows, clearly annoyed at Zoey and her insistence. But Zoey didn’t back down, continuing as she stepped closer to her sister. ”You’re going to stay down here, get in your own head and you’re going to end up to uptight you’re not going to perform to the best of your ability…so take the fucking drink and come up to the deck with me..”

Alicia took a deep breath, she looked down and shook her head before grabbing the very sweet smelling orange colored drink taking a sip. ”Fine..” Zoey smiled and turned leading Alicia out of the room, Alicia followed holding the drink tight in her hand, the music and laughter from up above danced down the stairs to the cabins. The heat from the sun, the sea air, Alicia sighed happily and closed her eyes. Maybe this was how she would focus.

Turning a Diamond into Coal

”Do you understand why I’m doing this?”

She looks up, her long blond hair framing her face, her lips painted red and a black swipe under her left eye. Her “war paint”.

”Four years ago, as Honor wrestling lay dying, the name itself becoming just a faded memory. As SCW became the location for most of us to work, I vowed I was going to save the bombshells division. Save it from the aging legends that pretended to care. Save it from the women just here to collect a pay check and then go home. It was my own personal mission statement. See, when I join a company, I don’t just turn up and smile and go about my business…no that just ain’t me..”

“I study. I look at everything. From the state a division, company or championship is left in, to what preceded it. The champions who came before, how they conducted themselves and what they did for the good of the company and wrestling in general. And when I came to SCW you know what I found? I found women who, quite honestly, weren’t fit to lace my boots. I mean my god, the gauntlet match to crown a first champion in 2011 came down to women named Misty and Kitty. I half expected to be asked to perform on a fucking stripper pole before each match.”

“Shit somehow Amanda Cortez held the Bombshells title. Yes Amanda “I’m going to post my pussy on twitter” Cortez. Luckily I ran that bitch out of this company and off twitter. Y’all are welcome.”

“But, for every woman like Amanda, Misty, Kitty and Candy to grace the walls of SCW there have been real competitors, real champions. As much as I dislike her, Roxi Johnson is sopmeone who is a genuine champion, someone who lives eats and breaths wrestling. Same as Amber Ryan. This place has seen some amazing wrestlers pass through it and even those I dislike who I think are well passed their expiration date like expired milk…yes Crystal and Mercedes I mean you. Even they have their place in the SCW Bombshells roster.”


Alicia chuckles and places her hands on her knees, feeling the denim under her hands as she pushes to her feet and steps forward, looking out the window of her cabin.

”But you know who don’t have a place here? You know who should just pack up, take their shit and leave? Diamond and Ruby Steele. Along with the other two knuckle heads.”

She tuts and shakes her head again looking out her window at the beautiful day in front of her and the rolling waves of the beautiful blue water.

”The Gemstones. A group of four women who pretend to be musicians with two members who pretend to be professional wrestlers. It’s so nice that they were able to join us on Summer Xtreme and the cruise after Diamond decided to bug out on her responsibilities on the Queen for a day special. You know, I thought I got rid of Ruby, I did. See I put her through a glass table and I hurt myself to get rid of her, I destroyed my own body to make sure she had second thoughts about every stepping into an SCW ring again and for the most part I succeeded.”

“Until that is, Diamond…Kate..brought her back.”

“And what a return it was Katie, you bring your cousin back to SCW and talk her into a tag team match onto to get squashed like a fucking bug. So great of you. She walked away because she knew she wasn’t able to compete with the higher level stars and instead of letting Ruby enjoy her time away you pull her back in as your backup. Only to watch her get annihilated.Family right? Well, I have family too Katie. I have family that isd much much more talented than yours…”


Alicia turns on her heals and steps away from the window pacing around her cabin as her black and red leather ring jacket dangles from a chair behind her.

”I brought my sister in for two reasons. One, she needed to get her ass in gear and come back to wrestling. And two, I needed someone I could trust to watch my back since I knew damn well going after you meant you’d bring tweedle dumb, tweedle dumber and tweedle dumbass with you. But, based on how easily I have had your number the last month and a half I have to wonder why I should have even bothered? Zoey having a job is great and all. But I didn’t need her upon further reflection. Cause you? You don’t have it anymore Katie. And this match will prove it. I’m going to hurt you, I’m going to hurt you and take you out and I’m not doing it out of malice…”

“I’m doing this to help you.”

“I’m doing this to help the division.”

“And that, is also why I chose the Cell. See, not only will the cage stop the Gemstones from being able to help you, not only will it prevent people from being able to help you. But, it also means there is no running, no hiding, no escape. Once that door shuts, once the bell rings you are all alone in there with me.”

“You can’t get away..”

“You won’t get away.”

“And I am going to bring a circle of hell to you that you have never seen Diamond. Kate, whatever. I have had to deal with you and your extended family for far, far too long. Three years ago I put a nail in your coffin, when I defended my title against you and made sure you remembered you were never going to reach the level I had set, and I was done with you, done with your stupid ego, done with your attitude and piss poor stance on wrestling.”


Alicia scoffs, folding her arms over her chest.

”So, Summer Xtreme, a sun soaked wonderful cruise, a show where we connect with fans and get to have a relaxing holiday, it’s going to be your end. It’s going to be the moment I have waited for where I finally get to bury the “legend” of Kate Steele. I get to eradicate you and make damn sure people forget you ever stood a chance against me.”

“Your time is done Kate, and I’m going to use you to remind people just how dangerous I am.”


8
Climax Control Archives / It's a work
« on: June 03, 2022, 07:35:01 AM »
It’s a work

She’d been distant. Even more distant than normal. But with everything going on it seems as if Alicia had slipped through the cracks. The day to day operations at Wolfslair went on as they would normally. People arrived, they trained, they would go off to various events, they would return. Like clockwork everything went on as normal. And even though she was now mentally stronger, a better version of the woman she always wanted to be, she was disturbed.

For months she lied to herself. She went to a room and talked through her own issues in a delusion. She watched her marriage fall apart, she bent down and picked up the pieces. And as those pieces got put back together, as her life started to come back to where she needed it to be and she rose like a phoenix from the ashes, the delusion cracked, crumbled and became the lie she could now see clearly.

Ironic, now everything tasted sweeter, the air was clearer, everything seemed calm.

But now the real work was ready to begin. She was in contact with her family, being a daughter, sister and mother. But her career needed saving. She had been going through ther motions. Letting her emotions get the better of her. Every week it was the same thing, it was the same ride. And the problem with rides, is that eventually they get boring.

So now, she knew what needed to happen.

She swallowed hard looking over at Alex’s office. It had been so long since she had a one on one with the owner and head trainer of Wolfslair New York, so long since she had just sat down and shot the shit. She pushed the door open, Alex smiled and gave her a nod to let her know to come in. Alicia moved around sitting across his desk, sliding her hands into the pockets of her black and red Wolfslair hoodie. Alex looked over a piece of paper, sliding it into the pile on his right before moving the pile on his left to the edge of his desk.

He looked up with a smirk and shrugged. ”What can I do for you?”

”Well, I’m just wondering what the plan is for Wolfslair?”

There was a small silence, Alex raised his eyebrows. Almost surprised Alicia would ask him and be interested in this. ”Well, we are continuing to grow and show visibility. Orlando is growing too and soon Austin is going to take a trip out there to train with a few of the talents they have, some interesting prospects I might get Mark and Chris to have a look at too.”

Now it was Alicia that was surprised, she twisted her lips into a pout, moving her hands forward onto the desk with a laugh under her breath. ”Not the gym…the group?”

”The what?”

Alicia rolled her eyes before sitting back in the chair and throwing her hands in the air. ”The group, in SCW. You, Austin, Me, Johanna…” Alex just blinked a few times, Alicia sat forward getting closer. ”Ring a bell?”

Alex cleared his throat and shook his head. ”Alicia. The group is done…” Silence. Alex stared ahead, Alicia narrowed her eyes and laughed shaking her head in a dismissive way. ”I’m serious. I don’t know when I’ll be back competing. I’m hurt Ali.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes again. ”I know you’re working everyone Alex and I-”

”No I’m not…this is legit…” He paused again, Alicia shook her head almost refusing to believe it. Alex pushed to his feet, wincing as he did moving around the office nowhere near as freely as you’d expect. ”I haven’t even been training. Austin has been doing alot of it…but with…with what he’s been through I….look…my focus is the gym..”

Alicia looked away and let out a small sigh before moving next to him. ”Well, I guess I should talk to Johanna..she and I will work something out….I need backup to makesure Diamonds gem hoes don’t get in my way…”

Alex shook his head and looked out the window to Johanna, she was standing next to Kalisto Reznik, the two chatting away about a few things. ”Johanna didn’t sign a new contract….she’s no longer in SCW…”

”WHAT?...y’all mother fuckers have a team meeting without me to decide this shit?” Alex turned away and moved back to the desk, obviously done with Alicias shit, Alicia closed her fists and turned back to him. ”Look, I’ve been a little distracted lately, I can see that. But still, Austin is barely here, you’re hurt, Johanna bounced, suddenly I’m alone and I just picked a fight with a bitch who is going to bring her whole crew after me..” Alex looked unimpressed. ”I could take out one or two..but all of them at once?..I’m good Alex but I’m not that good.”

Alex laughed to himself and looked down with a sigh. ”Well…I suppose you better make ther plans…I’m sure you’ll think of something..”

Alicia growled and waved her hand lightly to signal she got it. She moved out from the office closing the door behind her. She moved along the mats and passed Johanna and Kallie giving them a small nod, she moved out into the locker room, grabbing her phone from her bag she stepped outside unlocking it, her thumb hovered over the call icon for what seemed like an eternity. ”Ahhh fuck it…”

RING RING

RING RING

”Hey…..I got an employment opportunity….I need you to be in Cali….Sunday morning…”

All according to plan

”I suppose some of you are expecting me to offer up some kind of apology for what I said on Climax Control right?”

Alicia shakes her head, a small smile on her lips as her bright blue eyes stare forward, unfeeling, uncaring, almost vacant of any emotion.

”You ain’t getting shit.”

“See, I wewnt out there and I said a whole bunch of shit I needed to get off my chest. Not everything, but just enough. For years I have had to deal with entitled weakling and morons who feel the need to tell us all how great they are when they don’t actually have any right being on the same card asd me, let alone the same company. I have heard Jessie Salco run her mouth for months and years about title shots and championships…”

“I’ve watched her go one and a hundred in title matches and still get opportunity after opportunity while then, in the same breath chastising me for taking an opportunity I earned.”

“I have been spat on and disrespected by everyone in this company, so when I heard what happened with Vargas and Steele, well I had to say something. And it speaks volumes that the men in charge of SCW not only allowed me to do it, actively encouraged me to.”

“I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.”

“So no, I’m not going to ap;ologise, in fact I’m going to double down. Everything I said was true. Everything I said was right, and I have a bigger issue with Diamond and her gemstones and at Climax control I will be confronting Diamond, and I will tell her to her goddamn face what I feel. But, before I can do what, well I have to get in the ring and face the other woman who got some of that verbal venom. And I hope to god that before she speaks she actually listens to what I said, and takes it into her head that the bosses are clearly as pissed off with her as I am..”


Alicia takes a moment, showing a little emotion now as she clears her throat and stands up straight.

”Oh Mercedes. What have you done huh? I’m going to sit here by the way and watch you try and explain away why you decided to dip on the company last week. I’m going to wait for you to try and justify it in any way that you can. I dunno, your aunt died? Youre neighbors cat needed a hysterectomy? You got your period?...oh..wait, that one you can’t yse. Menopause is a bitch huh?”

“But I will wait with baited breath for you to go through what I said on climax control and try asd pick it apart, maybe chastise me for making a comment about your age, I dunno. Truthfully, I hope I look as good as you when I’m sixty. But, Christian and Mark decided it would be a good idea to put us in the ring against each other. Possibly for me to teach you a lesson, I’m not sure.”

“Naybe, just maybe they’ll hope I can break your fingers.”

“Then we all wouldn’t have to watch you repost old SCW Climax controls on twitter as a way to relive your faded glory days and youth. Or to stop you from constantly retweeting shit about crappy New York sports teams. The rangers suck, the Giants suck, the jets suck and so sdo the fucking knocks and no one except you gives a shit about them, just stop.”

“But maybe I’m being too hard on you. I mean my mother hasn’t figured out how to use facebook yet, maybe that’s all this is, technology moving so fast can be scary Mercy..”


She chuckles and shakes her head.

”But here’s the thing, one criticism of me that I have taken to heart and I respect is that, maybe, just maybe I have been living in the past, reminding people what I’ve done constantly and you know, maybe they’re right. See, I don’t want to be like you Mercedes, where that is all I have. Where I am just sitting there and constantly retweeting old shows and mentioning history because that is all I have. I don’t want that, and I don;’t want to turn into you.”

“I have other names I need to get to but I have been placed in front of you fuirst and you have been named as a sacrifice to me. See, Chris and Mark are smart.”

“They know I am still money in professional wrestling. They know I am still a name and I can deliver. So they want me to go out there and beat the hell out of you, they want me to tear you down with everything from cheap jokes about age, to straight cuts about your living in the past, and if there is one person in this company who lives their glories more than me, it’s you.”

“But, that is the difference between us. I have recognised I need to look toward the future. You haven’t learned that lesson Mercy, you just keep going about the same shit over and over again. But, only the stuiff that suits you. See, I never hear you admitting to the factthat I have your number and always have.”

“I don’t hear you admitting to the fact I climbed the ladder in WWH when it meant something while you failed even as the company burned. I don’t hear you reminding people that in Honor wrestling I beat you in every way possible and I don’t hear you admitting to the fact in SCW I have been your fucking daddy since day one…”


Alicia gets animated now, filling herself with confidence and a smile.

”You need to learn Mercedes, without learning you don’t grow and you have been stagnant for years. You have been a great servant for this company and have done it all. And I told you last time we faced each other that you lacked passion, that you had become complacent. And I was right then and I’m right now because nothing has changed.”

“About the only nice thing I can say about you is that you’re still here..”

“No matter how much you lose, no matter how many times you fail to climb back to the top of the mountain you still stay in SCW out of loyalty. You don’t take your ball and go home like your name is Myra Rivers..no..Mercedes Vargas is SCW through and through. And that Vrgas, that I can respect…or atl;east I could…till ya pissed it all away..”

9
Supercard Archives / Re: Queen for the Day Ladder Match
« on: May 13, 2022, 03:28:08 AM »
Golden

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes when you have those quiet moments and get lost in your own thoughts you remember that quiet reflection is rarely quiet at all. The voices and thoughts go from a small whisper, drowned out by the chaos around you to being screaming, uninterrupted mental terrorists. How are you ever meant to truly heal and move on from anything in life if your own mind is your own worst enemy? How can you face your past and your barriers in life when being alone to contemplate it all is the issue?

Fear can be the ultimate motivator.

When you are afraid you can do things that otherwise would be impossible. A parents fear of losing their child can push them to extremes. Either as a savior or a villain. Fear of losing anything you covet as yours can also do the same. We as a species are capable of great strength as well as great horrors based on the need and want of self preservation and fear of loss. But, what happens when the mind breaks and fractures?

What happens when you are forced to hopld a mirror up to yourself and see your faults. Your faults in everything, As a human being? As a wife? As a mother? As a professional in whatever path you chose? And what happens when you try to better yourself. Try to work through your issues and think you are making progress only to find out it was a lie? Your own mind protecting itself through illusion and delusion?

And more importantly. What happens when the walls come crashing down?

How can you move on from that? Go on with life and ignore what happened? Alicia thought she had all the answers. For months, at her now ex husbands behest she tried to work out her issues. Her past, her greatest fears and faults. And for a while she thought she was making progress. Not letting her husband control her like so many others had, learning to live her dreams and be stronger. Dealing with her abandonment issues from her father as well as her mothers shortcomings and learning to not repeat her mistakes.

But, it was all a lie.

It was in her head. The Doctor, the advice, the resolutions. It was a mirage and a mental room forged inside her need to be understood. And in the last week she had sat at home, not even going to the gym to prepare. Not seeing her friends and family. Going through the motions with her young sons. Smiling and nodding as her sister Zoey talked about getting back into the wrestling business. Smiling and promising to help her without any idea how. This was Alicia's life over the last seven days since her painful revelation.

Every single therapy session, every barrier she broke through and everything she thought she resolved…it was all a lie. And nothing had changed.

Or so she thought.

Some people can’t see the forrest through the trees. And this was one of those situations. Alicia stood in her kitchen, or what was her kitchen. The house up for sale and she hadn’t even looked for a new place. Not that it was an issue. Working at SCW, working at Wolfslair as a senior trainer. It had all been lucrative and she was not hurting for money. She and her sons were going to be just fine. But only if Alicia put it all together and looked for a place.

But here she stood. A coffee cup sitting in front of her, full to the top as she shook her head. She had got her boys on the bus to school. And now she wrestled inside her own mind with a question that needed answering. What was the point?

What was the point in any of this? Going to the gym. Training. Going to work. She wanted it, she said she did. She gave up her marriage for it, she gave up everything for her dream. But what if it was the wrong choice? What if she was being influenced the wrong way? What if-

”Oh Violet..I’m so disappointed in you…” Her head snapped sideways. Doctor Whtlow sat across the kitchen, at the table. Her legs crossed over and her hands on her knee, interlaced fingers as she shook her head and let out a sigh. ”You missed your session, we still have so much to work through.” Alicia closed her eyes tight and shook her head swallowing hard as she refused to believe this. ”When you didn’t come to my office I got worried. You have never missed a session. So…I broke my rules for you to make a house call.”

This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real She repeated it in her head over and over. Taking a few deep breaths and opening her eyes. Dr Whitlow was still there, but she looked different. There was some color in her grey hair, a few golden strands, the wrinkles on her face had faded out and her cheeks became fuller. Alicia shook her head and looked away before throwing her hands in the air. ”What is this? Why can’t I get rid of you?

Dr Whitlow stepped forward, she tilted her head with a heavy sigh as she studied Alicia, looking right through her, to her very soul. ”You just haven’t accepted it. And I think you know why. You can’t get rid of something, someone that is a part of you.

”It was all a lie. Everything you told me, everything we talked about, Michael left because of you.” She closed her eyes again, placing her hands on the black marble.

Dr Whitlow’s voice was soft and calming, her accent shining through and for the first time Alcia realizing it was like hers. ”In a way, yes he did. But it’s on you Violet.” Alicia opened her eyes again and agan Dr Whitlow looked younger, almost familiar. ”You can’t even see it can you? Everything we talked about helped you. It was all things that you needed to see, that you needed to feel. All things that will help you take control of your life back.”

Alicia slammed her fist on the black marble and looked down at it, her eyes burning as her jaw clenched and she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. ”Stop it…”

Dr Whitlow just laughed. A small chuckle. Almost arrogant and telling. ”Stop what Violet? Telling the truth? Your entire life you have changed your life to fit others. Your father, every relationship you had, your mother. Even your siblings and friends. Isn’t it tim,e you fully invested in YOURSELF? In YOUR dreams?” Alicias hands started to shake as she kept her eyes shut. ”Isn’t it time you stopped being weak and making excuses?...open your fucking eyes…”

”No…”

She refused. She didn’t want to. Her heart heart, her body shook. And the tears started to fall. ”Is it because you know the truth? You know what you’ll see and you’re just too scared to face this?” Her voice continued to get younger, to get more defined. Alicia shook her head. ”You don’t need to answer that. I can hear everything, see everything…so now…”

”Open your eyes

They stood across from each other. Identical. Identical in everything. Hair, eyes, clothing. Alicia took a deep breath and shook her head, her anger growing, her frustration to breaking point. She knew what it was. What it all meant. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed it. Needed the honesty. And she needed to be honest with herself. True to herself. She knew it now. She knew it was all her.

Everything she wanted. Everything she needed. And now, well now everything was going to be better.

Alicia was Golden

Long live the queen

”Heavy is the head that wears the crown”

Alicia laughs to herself, reaching up and tilting the crown she got at last years Queen for a day to the side. She turns and sits down on the edge of an old wooden chair. Not quite a throne. But close enough.

”And oh how heavy my head was for the longest time. Heavy with everything, heavy with the pressure of being the leader of this division and this company. Heavy with thoughts of grandeur and lifting everyone up with me. Heavy with concern for all of you. But, the truth is, I don’t need all that anymore. I don’t need to worry about the division as a whole. I don’t have to worry about rewatching down and dragging the rest of you up with me anymore. Cause, after four years in this company I finally know the universal truth of it all.”

“None of you deserve saving. None of you deserve my help or my gracious presence. A queen does not concern herself with the worries of the common folk. And most of you are PAINFULLY common.”

“Some would say…peasants…”

“In four years I have gone from a name that Mark and Christian wanted in the company to being someone who will be in the SCW hall of fame. I have gone from someone dominating every other company I was in to dominating this one and then wanting to GIVE BACK to wrestling. And I did. I really did. See, when I first came back to the US I was confused as to what I would find.”


She pauses for a moment and crosses her legs over one another placing her hands ontop of her knee while clasping her hands together and interlacing her fingers, keeping her posture straight and almost regal.

”I thought coming home from Japan I would find great athletes ready to embrace the culture like I did. Embrace the grind of being a professional wrestler. And even though there were patches of that, even though I saw some bright sparks. Like Kat Jones. For the most part I found vapid airheads like Crystal Hilton, Keira Fisher-Johnson and Sam Marlowe. And to think, when I came back to my home country I thought I needed to start from the bottom and work my way up.”

“I thought I needed to learn what American wrestling was all about. I joined Honor wrestling and instead of going right for the top I lowered myself to be in Legacy, their development brand. I was humble and respectful. I paid my dues there and built my reputation expecting to find women who were ready to work hard and be the best.”

“You know what I really found? Entitled succubus’ ready to suck a dick to get title shots and sleep their way to the top instead of bust their asses the correct way.”

“And that is when I made a vow and a promise to myself that I was going to do everything I could in the ring to prove my way was right. And that didn’t mean I was a saint in my personal life. I dated guys in the business, but I did it because of personal reasons not to get a head in business. I mean fuck, I sure as shit got a huge title rub from dating Travis Blake didn’t I?”


She sneered and rolled her eyes before straightening her shoulders again.

”But I made my way through company after company. WWH, dominated, back to Honor, Dominated, Liberty, Before it closed I was racking up wins. And then here. Sin City Wrestling. Dominated. And that is something people tend to forget. Just how dominant I was in the three major companies I was in. WWH, Honor and here. And at the height of my powers I wanted to make it all better. I wanted to help everyone. But now?..well now it’s different.”

“Y’all can get fucked…”

“Now I’m in tbhis for myself. For my future, for my legacy. I’m not here for the good of wrestling or womens wrestling. I’m here for myself. For Alicia fucking Lukas. The strong style southern belle. The lioness. The queen wolf. All the names and monikers. And that means doing what no one else had been able to do. Winning the queen for a day a second time and doing it consecutively. Taking that crown, taking that opportunity and ye…giving myself a title shot…”

“And to do that? Well I have to get through everyone else in the match. And, to say I’m disappointed in the rampant stupidity of this place is an understatement. I handed Krystal Wolfe ammunition against me, I handed her so much she could say and she could have really dug in to try and make herself seem like a bigger star. But when push came to shove..well that isn’t what she did is it?”


Alicia pushes to her feet still wearing her crown from last year.

”Instead Krystal chose to focus on last year and the Queen for a day match I won. Pointing out the competitors I had to deal with and called them weak. While then chastising me for calling her weak due to the competition she faced as Roulette champion. Pot meet kettle. And the truth is Krystal that while you did face weaker opposition than most you did prove yourself to be a step above them. And now here you are waiting to get a shot at the queen for a day and book a show for everyone to watch. A golden ticket to give yourself a shot at anything. And based on the fact you had that chance as Roulette champion to call out the elite of the division to defend your title against and make it mean something…and inherently failed…”

“Well”

“I question your resolve in using the queen for a day right to face the best in SCW. Or, will you take the easy way out hmm? Cause that’s is the difference between us, I openly acknowledge if my opponents have been lackluster, I openly tell them they need to do better as well as make sure they all know I can appreciate their positives. But, everyone in this business just focuses on the negative. Much like you did Krystal.”

“I did say you faced weak challengers most of the time, but I also said your reign was impressive and I said you had a chance to move on up. I guess that all escaped your scope when glossing over my comments about you and who you are. As a champion I called out the best of the best. In the company as well as outside it…cause let me fucking remind you…I brought Roxi Johnson back to this company. Without my challenge she would have stayed away to play neglectful mommy with Keira…”

“So, get ready to get in that ring and do your best Krystal, and maybe with a little luck you’ll get to wear the crown. But if you don’t..I hope you realize…I won’t shut up about your failure…and I might just break you to prove a point…”


She turns her top lip up and shakes her head stepping back.

”Just like I have with others in the past. And you know, I was going to try not to destroy Keira verbally too much. I wouldn’t want her to run crying to her wife or management about how mean I am. After all, that is the narrative both Keira and Candy have about me. I’m so mean and such a bitch right? Because I dare to tell the truth. And trust me on this, all I have ever done is tell the fucking truth. And I have been hated and vilified for that. And instead of LISTENING to me all I have had is push back.”

“But, just when I think maybe Keira is ready to listen, just when I think she is ready to be the respectfed veteran she apparently thinks herself to be she opens her mouth and shit spews out all over the place.”

“You think I dislike you because of your wife? No, I dislike Roxi because she’s a fake bi9tch who likes to pretend she’s a good person instead of just admitting she’s a jealous raging backstabbing piece of shit. But you? I dislike you for your own seperate reasons. I don’t care about your last name, your hair, your stupid smile. I do hate you because you BELIEVE you’re better than me. You believe your win over me makes you better when everything else, every single other piece of proof their is says you’re nothing compared to me…”

“I wanted you to succeed Keira. I wanted you to succeed so goddamn badly. I wanted you to beat me and live up to that potential and step out of your wife’s shadow. I said it so many times yet just like with Krystal all you do is believe the nagatives. I say I don’t like you because you don’t live up to your potential and you have failed. All you hear is I don’t like you because you beat me…”

“Thing is YOUR DID beat me. You beat me, you took the Bombshells title and I stepped back away from the scene. I let you take the ball and run with it and you fucking failed. You dropped that ball and ruined the goddamn championship. You ruined the gift that you got HANDED by not just having the title but by saying you are one of the few women in this company who beat me on a stag that goddamn big.”

“I criticize you because women and little girls look up to you and you set a horrible example. You whine and bitch about title shots, you get handed opportunities and promise to succeed only to fail and never live up to it and own your mistakes. And when someone holds a mirror up to yo0ur face and shows you gthose failures you stick your head in the sand and ignore it…”

“Shit atleast Roxi came back stronger from her defeats…”

“You even said it yourself. You chose to come back to the Queen for a day after walking out. After disappearing. You should of stayed gone Keira. You should of stepped back and away because when I look at you I can see that you just don’t have the heart anymore. You’re like Mercedes Vargas, Crystal Hilton and….Samantha Marlowe…”


Alicia can’t help but sneer and fold her arms over her chest.

”What’s wrong Sammie? Cat got your tongue? Hmm? I sat back and talked alot of shit about you. And I did it because you, much like Keira, decide to run your mouths in a way that is so hard to back up. You put yourselves into a corner. And then find it hard to get out. And that’s what you did Sam. You came at me and when we faced off one o0n one I embarrassed you, I exposed you. And now here we are, less than a few days from Into the void and the Queen for a day and all we have heard or seen from you is…”

“...Silence.”

“Nadda..”

“Nothing…”

“And I have to ask anyone and everyone if they are really surprised. It’s your go to Sam. You run your mouth, try to get the upper hand, fail and then instead of face adversity and show us all you deserve to be a champion and you are someone relevent, you quit. You disappear. Maybe it’s time you walk off into the sunset, and take Keira with you. But then again, atleast Keira showed her face and made her goals known…”

“Yes Keira I am giving you props for something, not that you’ll pay attention, you negative bitch…”


Alicia throws her hands in the air and paces back and forth.

”And this might shock some people, but I need to talk directly to my kitten right now. Miss Bella Madison. I love you kid, you know I do. You’re someone with so much potential and someone that has so much to live up to. Now, I appreciate your kind words to me, I do. But watching you sit back and give so much respect to the others? You do yourself a disservice and give then too much credit.”

“Pillars of the bombshells division?”

“If Krystal, Keira and Sam are pillars then the bombshells division would have come crashing down years ago.”

“I’m going to give you advice. You are good enough to be a power player in SCW. Good enough to rise up and be great. But, to be a legend. To step up and tear down everyone in front of you and walk the path you need to take and leave broken, bloody bodies piled up behind you, then you need to grow a mean streak. You need to call out people when they are not being who they believe themselves to be and destroy them. And kid…”

“That includes me.”

“You need to look deeper. I’m not perfect, far from it. And you know me well enough now. And this match Bella, in this match, we aren’t teacher and student, we aren’t apprentice and mentor, we aren’t friends…we’re opponents and you need to come at me with everything and try to stop me and win. Not just earn your place, not just to try and be better…be the best..like me…and like Amber Ryan…”


The mood changed. From the anger she had about Krystal and Keira, the mild amusement of Sam and the frustration with Bella. This was different with Amber. Could it be…fear?

”You know, the second I finished recording my first promo to get people interested in this match I had this feeling of regret. A feeling of fear and anger. All of it swirling around and the biggest thing was…I wanted to make sure the comments didn’t get o0ut. See, everything I said, everything I blamed you for. I knew it made me look weak. It made me look human. And I didn’t want that. I didn’t need that. But, when I saw what you had to say, I felt better abou it…”

“I know, weird right?”

“See, you exposed me Amber. You exposed me. You’re right, I have talked about the old Alicia being back and I have apparently done nothing with it. Now, alot of that isn’t my problem or my fault. I have been busy with that idiot Candy and I tried to move past her, I tried to get it all going. I needed to take time off and finish making sure my life didn’t fall apart but sure, call me out for that Amber.”

“You’re such a gracious championship human being right?”

“Even as you threw a tantrum all over twitter due to something your husband said. Great show of feminism there. A goddamn world conquering champion, a woman who, as she said, sent all her opponents down the river styx, letting her confidence crumble and having a public meltdown due to her husband disrespecting her. Wow. You know for someone who talks about egos and how fragile they can be you really have a fragile ego…”


Alicia tuts and shakes her head.

”I know how that can be. See, it’s taken me a while but it dawned on me that giving you respect and vocalizing it was a bad idea. See, it played into your idea that you’re better than me. That little comment about sending your opponents down the river styx really stuck in my craw. Cause, I did it before you. Everything you did, I did it before you did.”

“And I finally see what Micah has meant talking about how quick people forget.”

“And you have forgotten…”

“You have forgotten that in this company I am the giant whose shoulders you have stood on. I am the one who opened the goddamn door that you walked through and I will have my goddamn respect. I’ll either get it by winning the match, or by beating it out of you…”

10
Supercard Archives / Re: Queen for the Day Ladder Match
« on: May 04, 2022, 10:16:02 PM »
Session 21:Find my way

”Empty..”

”Empty?”

She repeated the single word back to her. A litmas test to guage where Alicia was seems to have gone wrong. The question was simple. In one word describe how she feels in her personal life now. She sat in Whitlows office, the sight was so familiar to her now that Alicia would notice the smallest differences. A picture moved here, a new writing pad there. She sighed and shook her head, she knew that the good doctor would want her to elaborate. A deeo feeling of regret ran through her veins. She could of lied.

Why didn’t I lie?”

It would have been so easy. Just blurt out a word, any word. Happy,. Awkward. Sad. Anything except Empty. But it was done now, She had no choice. She sat up straight, adjusting her shirt as she cleared her throat. Electing to sit on the chair across from Whitlow instead of lay on the couch was a subliminal choice. She wanted to be viewed more as an equal having a conversation instead of a patient. Or client.

”It’s a feeling that didn’t go away. It was there from the end of it to now…it started when..” She paused and clenched her jaw, swallowing and taking a sharp inhale through her nose, holding onto the breath as a way to stop herself from crying. After a few seconds the feeling passed, her stomach released and she looked down and away before continuing. ”It started the day after he left…when I came home.” She ran her hands through her hair. Dr Whilow shuffled in her seat, uncrossing her right leg from her left and switching them.

Alicia looked up from the floor, the floor that had changed. Her mind flickering away from the empty pain that the Doctor wanted her to focus on to the fact the hardwood floors that had looked clean and pristine had now become faded and the shine had gone. They looked aged, fractured, almost like termites had gotten to them Dr  Whitlows voice broke through the haze and startled Alicia. ”Why was it so jarring to you?..what happened?” Alicia snapped out of it, she gave a small nod and released the second breath she had held in.

The entire cab ride back from the airport made her sick. When she was at work, in front of the fans, around co workers she could forget. Forget about the turmoil at home, forget about the feeling of being trapped and pushed. Forget that the man she loved had given her an ultimatum. She had dropped her sons off with her sister. Zoey had come back into their lives after running and disappearing, ashe wanted to make up time, spend it with her nephews. Alicia reluctantly agreed. It was time to get home now, to figure out what to do. But she had no idea what she’d find, and that made her feel sick to her stomach. The unknown.

As the car pulled up to the curb Alicia simply took out her card, paid for the ride and stepped out, her gear bacg in her hand as she grabbed the strap throwing it over her shoulder. She looked up at the old house, the two storey townhouse in upstate New York that she had moved into with Michael all those years before. She shook her head and moved toward the door taking out her keys. They still worked. He hadn’t changed the locks yet.

She chuckled to herself pushing the door open. Maybe he had come to his senses. Maybe he was inside waiting for her so they could reconcile. But, did she want that? Did she want him to stay? Part of her did. Love was never the proublem. She loved him with all her heart. She loved him so much that it still hurt deep down in the pit of her stomach. But, she needed to take a stand, she needed to do it for herself. Yet there was the single nagging question echoing through her head like a broken record skipping.

Was she the asshole?

He wanted a child, and truthfully so did she. But she put it off, she put it off for her career. And maybe that was her mistake. But, he had also said it was about her making rhe decision herself. And maybe, just maybe he was right. She stepped into the hallway from the door, her feet stomping against the shiny hardwood floors. Each step thudding through the house, she stopped, something was off. Something was different. Michaels jacket, an expensive black zip up canvas number was gone. So he wasn’t home. But it was more than that.

All his shoes were gone, pictures that had hung on the wall, ones of Michaels family dating back to the turn of the 20th century had been taken down. She swallowed hard moving through to the kitchen. Furniture had gone, small nick nacks  too had been taken. And a piece of paper sat on the middle of the black marble countertop with a set of keys ontop. She shook her head and reached out opicking it up, reading the words in Michaels voice.

Violet.

I knew you’d be at work and I didn’t want to face you. Please don’t think of me as a coward. I just knew it would hurt as both too much. This issue has been a continued thorn in both of our sides and refuses to go away. We both want to be happy. We both want what is best for us. And from the moment I met you, you have been determined to turn your life around but you didn’t know how. I’d like to think I had some small part in that.

You are an amazing woman. Strong and powerful. You don’t need a relationship to make you happy. You don’t need someone in your life to validate you. But, as I said. We both need to be happy. And this wasn’t working for either of us.

I’m putting the house on the market in two months time. That should give you plenty of time to find somewhere.

Please take care of yourself. I love you.

-Michael


And there it was, her hands started to shake, her eyes glazed over with tears. He had really done it. It wasn;’t an empty threat. It had been the end and he really left her. She placed the picture back down, she put the keys to the side. She moved across the kitchen and pushed out a chair that sat against the rund dinner table in the center of the room slowly sitting down. That was it. There were no more arguments. No more what if. It was done. And now there wasn’t any anger or happiness. No more frustration or amusement. All that was left now was the cold, sick empty feeling deep in her stomach.

She closed her eyes, her fingertips traced around the table and all she could think about was every single meal they shared. Every single laugh and every single tear. Her sons being happy and healthy in this house., The fact she was able to reconnect with them. To be the mother she always wanted to be. Rory and Ryan were here future, her past, they were her heart. But right now, she felt like she had let them down. That they now had to face more uncertainty. And that left her feeling one thing…

Empty

A feeling that hasn’t gone away since this happened.

”So, it became real?” She slowly nodded. Dr Whitlow scribbled down a few things and reached up taking off her glasses, staring across the room at Alicia who had not moved, her hands stayed clasped together, she leaned forward, her back was hunched and she looked defeated. She looked like she had already lost everything. That her entire life was now in the lowest point. Dr Whitlow tilted her head. ”Everything in life has a beginning and an end Violet.” Her voice was still quiet but had some authority added to it.

Alicia looked up through her long blond hair and shook her head. ”I know. Everyone knows that. You don’t think I don’t or that I can’t grow to accept this?”

Dr Whitlow pushed up to her feet, walking over to her desk and placing her hands on it. ”No…No I don’t think you can” The words cut Alicia deep, her jaw trembled as she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Not one word, not one noise. Instead Dr Whitlow turned around looking right at her. Her face distorted and angry. ”When you first came here we went through everything. From your father leaving, him coming back into your life only to die and leave you in the ultimate move of abandonment. We talked about Chris, Travis and Kaden. Men who used you and abused you in different ways and tried to hold you to some kind of standard to please them…”

She stepped forward and Alicia had no idea what to say, her heart raced and she started to panic. ”Stop..” For a moment the room changed, everything felt like it was closing in on her, everything felt old and like it was falling apart. It felt wrong somehow.

”Leaving Michael. It was the right thing to do but you couldn’t see it. He was holding you down and trying to control you.” She moved closer. Alicia started to hyperventilate. Looking up to the ceiling where the patches she had noticed before had grown. Black mold, cracking paint. ”It was the right thing for you both but you were to weak to pull the fucking trigger…..when will you be the woman you were meant to be?...”

Something broke. Something deep inside Alicias mind snapped like a dry twig. ”Enough!..” She looked up as spit flew from her mouth. But, there was nothing. The room was dark now. Quiet and broken down. She tilted her head. The Doctor was gone, The pictures were gone. The desk was falling apart, the light fixtures has spiderwebs on them. Alicia moved to her feet, backing toward the door, she moved out into the hallway, the nameplate on the door faded and destroyed.

It was all in your head.

The Queen is Dead.

”Undefeated”

She couldn’t help but laugh. One simple word. One word that will no doubt send tongue wagging as evetryone else in the match will stumble over themselves to disprove it. But, context is key.

”In 2022 Alicia Fucking LuKas is undefeated. And, when do we stop thinking that this is a good start to it being a fully fledged rejuvenation or resurrection? Hmm? When do we stop thinking this is just me being lucky and maybe JUST MAYBE Alicia Lukas is back hmmm? I know some of you will say that I never really went away. That a few injuries have given me a stop start kind of time but I never really went anywhere. But, the truth is much more complex than that. See, when I first came to SCW. When Honor was bought and absolved into this company, I had a chip on my shoulder. See, I dominated that company. Ask Mercedes Vargas”

“That squeaky hipped old bitch tried everything she could to stop me.”

“In the end I owned all the gold. I was the companies biggest star. Beating and destroying everyone they had put in the ring against me. Legacy champion and then Honor champion. There was nothing that could be done. So imagine my surprise when the rumblings of Honor being sold were true and my new employers and the new company seemed to give zero shits about me. So yeah, that chip on my shoulder got real fucking salty real fucking quick. So I went about verbally destroying opponents before physically destroying them. And that worked out very very well for me.”

“Howver..”

“Somewhere along the way I lost that. I started getting the respect I felt I deserved and I became complacent. I became this competitor that talked about respect and honor and how the bo,bshells division needed to be better and that I wanted to drag everyone up with me. I wanted them all on my level. Hell I said it last climax control when I beat Sam Marlowe. I respected Roxi, where did that get me? I respected Seleana. Where did that get me? I respected Keira. And same thing again. I wont say there aren’t women that have earned that place…but…well..”

“I need to be more selective, cause most of you aren’t worth shit…”


She turns her upper lip upward curling it as she folds her arms over her chest.

”Last year I won the Queen for a day. And I promptly challenged for the Bombshells title. Something that so many took issue with. Like they wouldn’t have done it if they had won. And spoiler, if I win this, I’ll fuckin do it again. Roxi or Myra, it doesn’t matter. I’m coming for that title. And last year, Last year at Into the void 10 I walked in and beat Vargas, Pierce and Kwan. And this year. Well, this year there’s different faces but the goal remains the same. A ladder, a crown and the only way to win is to beat your opponents down to the point you can climb up there and get it. You snatch that crown down and you get to plan a future Climax control.”

“You get to hold your fate right ino your own hands. And, times past I might tease going for the Internet or Roulette titles. Something I hadn’t held before but, truth is this time, I’m straight up telling y’all. I won, I’m going for that world title. I’m going to get that damn thing back and become a four time champion. To reclaim my glory and in a moment of irony…get my crown…”

“The old Alicia Lukas is back. And may god have mercy on your souls.”

“See, somewhere along the line I lost myself. But, I can’t just sit back anymore. Everyone knows what kind of woman I am and what I asm capable of. And last year I had that golden opportunity and I failed. But this year? Well, this match is the first step. And to take another step I have to climb those rungs. And as a bonus I get to stomp three women who shouldn’t even be in this match, one kid who has alot to learn and a woman who is one of the few left I would consider to be a real rival.”


She sighs heavily, stepping forward and putting her hands in the pockets of her black jeans.

”Kiera Fisher-Johnson. You just can’t help it can you? You just can’t help but get involved in this scene despite the fact you’ve already proved yourself to be more of a joke than anyone else in this company. See, woman like Char Kwan and Bea Barnhart might be in that same level of stupidity where they say outlandish things, much like you, but while they are looked at as jokes and simply names on a page you have somehow been able to rain man your fucking way into being a former world champion. And now look at you. Here you are trying to win this Queen for a day match to…do what exactly?”

“Waste everyone elses time again? What are we going to see Keira? Are we going to see you and Roxi in a domestic violence rematch? Sign me up for that snoozefest where your wife beats your ass for another 20 minutes. We;ve seen it before. Or are you going to go for the roulette title or the internet title to try and put forth some false narrative of you being in a “power couple”? I mean you coulkd do that or simply…do nothing.”

“Either way Keira, I want to win this match as much for myself and what I want as I do to stop you.”

“I mean team hero. What a joke. And your little wrestling school? What are you going to do Keira? Hmm? Roxi can teach people how to be a champion. You? What can you do? Teach young and aspiring wrestlers how to stand in someones shadow? Just typical really You and your idiot wife go to do something I have already done bigger and better. Wolfslair is a gym of champions. Not just SCW champions but champions from all over the world. Your little training camp gym bullshit? It’s just something else you’ll fail at. Just like you fail at being a wife, a mother and any type of human being with substance.”

“Oh no..did I offend you? Will we see your alter ego Sinn that you always threaten us with when you lose your smile and realise you’re losing relevancy? Fuck off Keira….go be a manager, go home and look after your brat and let the real wrestlers fucking wrestle…”


She can’t help but sneer and shake her head. Unable or unwilling to hide her utter disappointment and disdain about Keira.

”And speaking of women who like to pretend to be wrestlers instead of thots. How you doin Sam? Recovered from the beating I gave you yet? Starting to realise everything I said about you is true? You know the problem with having nothing to prove Sam? It means that there is no heart and soul in your life. See, you have been a champion, you are a half of famer, kind of. But that doesn’t mean anything if you’tre not willing to have that heart and passion for this business. And if you dfon’t have that anymore. If you don’t have anything left to prove to me, the others in this matchm, the fans, the bosses or yourself then what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I have everything to prove. I have to prove to the fans that I’m still that fucking killer that walked in here, I have to prove to Mark and Christian that I am worthy of holding the bombshells division in my hands and on my shoulders, something you have never done.. I have to prove to each and every one of you that I should be feared and I need to prove to myself and I still that damn good…”

“See, you just don’t have that fear of me anymore. And that..well that I can’t stand..”

“Before our one on one match you ran your mouth alot about me. About me lacking relevancy or the fact I apparently leach off the other members of wolfslair. And, as always you entirely miss the point Sam. Will you give me respect for whooping your ass? Cause I doubt it. You’ll do what everyone else of your ilk does and you’ll simply…ignore it…But when I beat the hell out of you, when I place that fucking crown on my head for the SECOND year in a row and I go on to challenge Roxi or Myra for the title. Well…your words will be as hollow as the balloon sitting on your neck…”


Alicia throws her hands in the air and shakes her head.

”But, then there’s the Australian bombshells Kristal Wolfe. The only one of the three I can give the smallest amount of respect to. See Krystal broke all kinds of records. Longest Roulette title reign, most defenses. Damn Krystal. You really made the roulette title matter. Congrats, really. I mean you found out the samer thing I did that when you make a title mean something and you lose it to Keira Fisher Johnson the title instantly becomes meaningless so I can convaless with you on that. I can admit that you are a step above the usual trash that seems to loiter around the bombshells division. And I have no idea what you’ll do if given the chance to get that crown.”

“Queen Krystal…”

“It seems like you have suffered from the post title hangover. A little lost in what you want to do huh? I get it. I’ve been there Krystal. I know tbhoise feelings. And things will get alot worse before they get better. Unless you win this match. And who knows maybe you’ll surprise us all and do well. But, then again, this match is bigger than anything else you’ve done.”

“I’m sorry but beating Bea Barmhart and Maki doesn’t really inspire fear ya know?”

“But you could change all that. You could climb the ladder, get thatcrown and then call your shot. You could go back for the roulette title, go for the internet title or even the bombshells. Or, settle a score with someone. Lick say, the waste of skin who beat you for the roulette title to begin with and then lost it right away because she has the championship credentials of a mentally handicapped chipmunk?....Either way…to win this match you still have to get through me..and I won’t gfeel bad about stopping you…”


She scoffs and shakes her head before relaxing a little.

”That is something OI can’t say about Bella Madison. See, I win this match and I will have a small feeling of sadness in my heart for her. But, it’s the only way you’ll learn Bella. See, little bird, I love and respect your mother. Laura is one of the best in the ring and she hasn’t got the respect she has deserved. Not by a long shot. And you? Well, you are looking at carving your own path in SCW. In the mixed tag division next to Mal or by youtrself, you come into the company and the building each time you’re booked and leave it all on the line. That is the Wolfslair way. To put it all on the line and that is something people like Keira, Sam and Krystal do not understand. It’s something they can’t understand.”

“But you Bella. You know what it takes and the sacrifices that need to be made. And I can;’t say that if I did see you climb that ladder and become the queen I wouldn’t shed a tear of pride and want to embrace you in a hug and congratulate you.”

“Howveer…while I can admit that…I also have to tell you I don’t see it happening…”

“I love you Bella. I do. I have watched you train like a monster week in and week out., I have heard you talk about wanting to ydo your parents proud, your gym proud and yourself proud. But if you think for one second the soft spot I hve for you and your family in my heart will stop me from winning this match and doing whatever it takes to do so, well, you haven’t been paying attention. Thing is, I think you have. I think you know the lengths I’ll go to. And I don’t think the others do. I don’t think they know what I am willing to do to them when I am willing to snap your leg in half to win this….and don’t think I won’t…”


She swallows hard, adjusting her attitude and trying to get back into it. Her eyes close, she takes in a deep breath and cracks her neck, coming to the main event as it were…

”Amber Ryan. Oh man. You know, I sat there thinking about things I could say about every single woman in this match. Faults to point out, failures to bring up and throw in their faces. Mind games. But you? With you that is so damn hard. See, you are a woman that commands respect. Commands it. I can ignore what Keira, Sam and Krystal have done in their careers, I can point and laugh because I can find fault with all of them. Keira being in Roxi’s shadow, her inability to actually defend a title. Sam failing to get her former glory and being a passenger in a division and company that has passed her by. Krystal being unproven in the bigger stage…”

“And of course..Bella not living up to her parents promise,..”

“But you? You Amber Ryan are so fucking hard to find fault with aside from personal issues with your asshole husband but, are they really relevant to this situation. See, a year ago Amber I won this match and I then sat backstage and watched you dismantle Ruby Steele to keep the Bombshells title. And I cheered you on. Not because I particularly like you, not because I despise Ruby…although both of those reasons helped. Hell if I wanted the easy match I would have been disappointed you won...”

“No Amber…I cheered you on because then I knew I was going to get what I wanted.”


She laughs to herself and nods slowly letting her tongue tun over her teeth.

”I was going to get my one on one match with you. For that title. And, I failed. You beat me. And, I have tried so hard not to be petty or to let my emotions get to me. But the truth is. I can’t. I can’t hold it all back and you need to understand why. For all your success and everything you’ve been able to do for SCW and the division you need to understand something. Whether you wanted to, meant to or even were aware of it. You have taken EVERYTHING from me…”

“And I fucking hate you for it…”

“You are now the most respected and feared. You held the title longer than me, you made more defences than me. You have taken it all including being the scourge of the Zdunich family and the Johnsons. You took it all from me. And this, this Amber is the last fucking thing I have. The queen for a day. See, I want to win, not just so I can book  myself into a world title opportunity and go after whoever is the champ after into the void 11. But also to stop you from being able to claim that crown and take the LAST FUCKING THING I have over you. I think you of all people should understand how hard it is for me to admit that, to bare my soul.”

“So I’m coming for that crown. I’m coming for it to take my rightful place at the head of the division and to get that title back. And yes…I’m coming for it to stop…you…”

11
Climax Control Archives / 20
« on: April 29, 2022, 10:04:26 PM »
Session 20: The End

It was a horrible feeling being faced with the true end of a relationship. But do you know what feeling is even worse than that? Having to relive it. Having to sit and talk about your deepest darkest secrets and how they have broken you week in and week out all leading up to this moment where you have to be so brutally honest with yourself that you can feel it welling up inside you at the back of your throat as well as the pit of your stomach. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to relive this moment. She had come this far, recounting everything that she had done wrong in previous relationships and then having to face this one. The ultimate failure.

Dr Whitlow waited. As she always does. At first it was patient and understanding. One leg crossed over the other has her hands came to rest class being together on her lap.

But very slowly her patients started to wear thin. She uncrossed her legs, crossed them back over the opposite direction and gripped the arm rests of her wooden chair. Her eyebrows raised as she studied and stared at Alicia. Waiting for her to begin and say something, anything.

”Well? I think you know the next step.”  Alicia swallowed hard, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. She held it in her lungs and opened her eyes at the same time she let it out. She stared at Dr Whitlow with a blank expression. No emotion. Nothing to show.

She gave a small nod of her head before leaning back. ”I know what you want. I’ll get there. But this shit isn’t easy.” her voice lowered into a deep growl. Her fingernails dug into the leather couch that she was laying on. She could feel her heart brace and her fever start to come to the surface. She hated this. She hated the feeling of having to relieve all of her mistakes. But this one was the most important. This one was her greatest failure. And she could not run.

[coloe=orange]”Whivh one of you ended it?”[/color]

”He did”

It was a hot summers day. The sun beat down, the children were outside running around and playing. And Alicia was sitting at her kitchen bench with a large glass of peach iced tea sitting in front of her. Her hand laying on the side of her face as her elbow propped up and hold her head in place. Her eyes trailed along the glass watching the drips of condensation poolonto the black marble.

She did not even hear Michael walk in. She was in another place and another time. Thinking about where she was going to go in her career and what she wanted to do. Thinking about her return and how it had impacted the entire company. She had a sense of pride in what she had accomplished and was ready to take the wrestling world by storm again. Michael moved towards the fridge, he pulled it open and grabbed a bottle of water before slamming the door shut and turning to look at Alicia. The door slamming snapping her out of her trance as she frowned and tilted her head looking at her husband.

”Problem dear?” She tried to say it in the nicest way possible. But unfortunately it came out with added sass and sarcasm. Michael shook his head and drank more of his water. It had been tense. Very tense. ”Ok. Let’s have it..”

Alicia gripped the glass of peach iced tea. Michael paced back and forth before finally speaking. ”I just. I hate this Ali. I hate what we’ve become. We were so close. We made decisions about our future together and now..”

Alicia stood up and interrupted ”Now what?…Now you’re trying to control me. Making decisions about my life, my career and my body? she paused shaking her head. She didn’t want this conversation.

Michael placed his hands on the marble countertop. Leaning forward with a heavy sigh. ”Its not just your life. It’s OUR life Ali. We’re a partnership. We do everything in life together.” He raised his hands slamming them down. Alicia stayed silent abs stoic. ”I don’t think you understand that…”

[cooor=hotpink]”Then maybe I shouldn’t be in a fucking relationship”[/color]

”Maybe you shouldn’t!”

Michael raised his voice. Leaning forward further. Suddenly there was silence. They stared at each other for what seemed to be in eternity, Alicia was the first to break eye contact. She looked away and grabbed her iced tea while taking a sip. The air was heavy and seemed to feel like it was bearing down upon them both.

Michael looked down, his eyes trailing across to his head. He moved it up and over his chest, sliding his hand around his ring finger pulling off his wedding ring and placing it on the marble countertop. ”You made your decision. You won’t change it.”

Alicia could feel the anger boiling. Holding the glass and drinking her iced tea was the only thing stopping her from exploding. She stared at Michael and then down to the ring and back up to him. ”Really? All these years. Everything we’ve been through. Gone because I won’t have a child with you right fucking now?”

Michael turned his nose up, his top lip curling as the total disdain and anger that he had built up manifested itself on his face. ”No…it’s because you…not we..made the decision. But it’s ok…there is no we…”

Alicia stayed silent. She could have stopped him. She could of begged, pleaded, acted like an adult. Instead she stayed there. Staring at her drink as Michael walked toward the door. He stopped for a moment and Alicias heart picked up. Maybe he was changing his mind.

”My lawyer will be in contact…”

”It sounds like you both made the decision actually.” Whitlows voice broke through, a small smile on her thin lips as the wrinkles on her face seemed deeper and more defined than before. ”You both wanted different things. While a compromise could be reached you didn’t want to give up what you had earned. No one can blame you Violet..”

She winced. Her hands clasped together on her lap as she stared at the cieling. She had never noticed before but the pain seemed to be peeling away. IThe wood beams above looked to be beaten up and old. Considering how expensive all this was and how reputable Dr Whitlow was this shocked her. But she snapped out of it, turning her head to the Doctor who, in all honesty had become like a second mother. ”I know. Believe me, in my head I know that. But my heart..it”

”It’s conflicted…”

”Yeah…” She turned away, reaching up and wiping the tears from her eyes.”I guess I…I think I could have done things differently…been a better wife…just like I should of been a better mother…”

She trailed off. Whitlow put her glasses, her pencil, her notepad all to the side and pushed up and out of her chair moving along the office to her desk. ”We all have regrets. We have all made mistakes. No one is infallible. But, it’s what we do after those mistakes, the steps we make to better ourselves that matter….even in this you bettered yourself. You were loyal to yourself. That’s what matters.”

She was right. Alicia gave a nod of acceptance as her mind flashed to every single relationship, every single man she had been with. Abuse that was physical, mental and emotional. It broke her down, it destroyed everything she was and forced her to rebuild herself into a different person. She vowed she would never be in that position again, she would never let anyone force her into being something or doing something she didn’t want to do…

Burn the witch

”Amazing isn’t it?”

She steps forward, out of the darkness into a spotlight. Her hair down, her face in her usual make up. A black streak of warpaint, cherry red lipstick, a red bandana tied up with the knot on her forehead from under her hair. Alicia chuckled and continued with her southern drawl on fuill display.

”Y’all thought I was really done. That the great Alicia Lukas had been tamed. Pushed down and away to become just like every single one of you. Just another name on the roster. And, I mean for some of you that is your position. That is where you derserve to be. Just someone who hangs about the roster. Coming out every so often, having a good match, maybe a nice little run, a lower or mid card championship, hell some of you have even been able to cast off the shackles of mediocrity for a split second and become THE champion of the division.”

“And you thought, maybe, just maybe I was like that. I had lowered myself to be in the same position as all of you when all I wanted. All I ever fucking wanted was to reach down and pull the division up to my level. I wanted this company to have the best women's division in the professional wrestling world.”

“But, that isn’t what happened..”

“Instead of pulling the entire division up, instead of all of you reaching up to my hand and letting me drag you to greatness you resisted. You stayed in your own little worlds of bullshit and laziness. And as always the cream rises to the top. Roxi came back because of ME. Lets not forget that. Your fucking hero returned because I wanted to face her. Unfortunately she brought her “mid” wife with her. Amber Ryan came in and set the new benchmark. But while those two were doing that where were the rest of you? Did any of you pull yourselves up to that level?”


She can’t help but scoff and fold her arms over her chest.

”Fact is I have been going easy on you. All of you. I beat Candy for the second time, banishing her to the land of irrelevancy once again. And then last week I faced a woman who tried to show me respect while never really unleashing that side which I asked her to. See, I wanted her to step her little greek ass into the ring and do whatever it took to beat me. To take me down and claim my scalp. To add it to a collection. And instead, she fell to her knees like so many of you have in the past and failed. But, I am not without my own shortcomings. I have failed too.”

“I failed to bring you all uyp with me and in doing so I let myself fall and start to fade into obscurity. Standing on the fringes of the division. A once great champion relegated to a supporting player here. Like Crystal, Like Mercedes and like..Sam Marlowe…”

“I let myself be thought of as a has been, as a former great. Just clinging to the past and clinging to an era where I was the best of the best. Better than Roxi, Better than Mikad. Better than everybody. I was holding on to that moment, to that championship run like it was the only thing I had left. All those titles I held in the past, all the big names that had fallen to my feet and in the end that is what I cared about. But this is now about the future. The wrestling world has always looked forward…”

“It is very much a case of “what have you done for me lately” and I can’t disagree that I haven’t been at my best. So. I changed that. New year new me right? No. I was still the same bitch as I was in 2020 and 2021. But this 2022 version of Alicia fucking Lukas is more dangerous than before.”

“Because now I’m not going to dominate for some romanticized reason to help all of you…no, now I’m doing this for ME.”


She steps forward, her leather jacket ganging down as she seems to be in the best shape she has ever been, a mid riff cut shirt showing off her abs as a pair of low caught tight black jeans wraps around her hips.

”And the queen for a day is the perfect opportunity to remind everyone of that. A match I won last year and I am the defending queen. A chance for me to take what is mine. And yes, if I win that match I will be putting myself in the ring with whomever the champion is, cause fuck you whiny fucks. But, before that I get to get in the ring with a woman who is the epitome of mediocre. A woman who once upon a time was a force in SCW. A woman who many thought should be respected and admired. But a woman who has fallen out of favor faster than Amber Heard and her movie career.”

“Samantha Marlowe. This match, well, this match on paper is really just about bragging rights before the Queen for a day match. But it’s about more than that for me Sam. See you and I have faced a few times before, with mixed results. Multi women matches where we both lost, a one on one match from almost three years ago where I beat you, we have never really been what you would call rivals. See, Mercedes Vargas tried to be my rival; and failed. Crystal did to and it took her whole family and extended family to put up a fight. But you?...”

“Youve never really tried to be on my level. And nor should you.”

“See, Sam, you are everything I am fighting not to be. While this match can halt or gain me momentum, something that you and I both know is the lifeblood of the wrestling business there is a deeper meaning in all of this. I mentioned you and some other women as a point of order here. See, I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to fade into what you have become. Just turning up., collecting your paycheck and existing to turn up to work every few weeks to get your fill of the spotlight for one fleeting moment…”


Her voice lowers and she shakes her head taking a long deep breath.

”You see Samantha, there are some young women on this roster who have the ability to get to the same point I have. Bella Madison for one, and they could rise up to become a champion, a real champion and then it’s on them to stay at that levelk and not fall and fail to be…well..”

“You.”

“And that might be harsh, it might be something viewed as the ultimate disrespect but it’s truth that you need to desperately hear. It has been six years since you were the Bombshells champion, three years since you held your precious roulette title. One that was honestly synonymous with your name. But, as I said before, the wrestling world is very much “what have you done for me lately?” and I have to wonder and ask you Sam..”

“What have you done for me lately?”

“What have you done in this fucking world? See, I may have failed in my last few attempts to become the champion and to rise back up, but this upcoming match has reminded me that I was the queen for a day and I took the champion to the limit. In fact Amber Ryan knows that aside from Roxi I was the only other woman on this goddamn roster to take her to the deepest of fucking waters. And for all my talk of looking to the future. Well. I look at you and I just know and feel that the future has passed you by. The end of your career is alot closer to the beginning and you aren’t in your prime anymore. So tbhis match, wbhile being about bragging rights and momentum is also about pride. My pride in being able to look in the mirror and know…”

“...That I am nothing like you…”

12
Climax Control Archives / Godly(posted on wrong account but lazy)
« on: April 22, 2022, 11:07:22 PM »
The Legal Problem

He had so much to do. He had friends to help, a house to renovate, children to raise, friendships to keep in focus, but all of it had to wait for this. There are some things in life that are just more important – times where you need to be there for certain people in need to do things and go above and beyond what you would for anyone else.

This was one of those times for Austin. It was a day that he and his sister had both been dreading. A day where they would have to justify their legal battle against the parents of Amy’s ex, the grandparents of her son.

Austin let out a deep sigh, his hands moving up to push the top of his tie towards his collar, pulling down on the shorter thinner part of it. He took a step back and looked at himself in the mirror. He wore a custom tailored black suit, a tie tucked into his suit blazer as he did the buttons at the front. His long hair tied back and kept in a mid level bun and his beard trimmed.

He gave himself a nod, trying to build up his confidence.

But the truth was he didn’t have any. He was going into a courtroom to support his sister, and while she was of a normal size and build, a beautiful girl but also normal looking, Austin was far from normal. Six foot six and a hulking build. Muscles upon muscles. Long hair and a beard with a look in his eye that made most people fear him.

But he made a promise. He turned and looked down at his shoes, the black leather shining as he gave a small smile. His father would’ve loved the shoes, and the suit. All the times that Christian had tried to get Austin to dress up and this was only the second time he could bring himself to do it. First time with his wedding, the day that he and Lisa were joined together as a family. And now this time. A time to support the only other person on earth that really knew what it was like to grow up the way he did. His sister who had gone through so much and made so much progress yet still had been dragged down to a level that was beneath them both.

That was a dark time in her life; a rebellion to reclaim adolescence that she felt she never truly had after being locked away. Amy had gone on her own pilgrimage of self-discovery. She fell in love with the wrong man, and the result of that was the birth of the child. The child that was not brought into the world because of love but a child who was now loved. He had a loving mother, a loving aunt, a loving uncle and cousins ready to grow up with him like they were siblings.

The bathroom door clicked and swung open. Lisa stepped in. Her hair done, wearing a beautiful dress and grabbing a jacket so she would cover up most of her tattoos. A small smile came across her lips as she tilted her head looking at her husband up and down before placing her finger on her bottom lip.

Austin just shook his head and folded his arms over his large chest. ”See something you like?” He couldn’t help but laugh, Lisa blushed and shook her head. A small smile coming across Austin slipped now as he was impressed with his ability to still make his wife look at him like a nervous teenager.

Lisa stepped forward reaching up to check Austin's tie. She stood just under his chin even in her six inch heels. Lisa was a tall woman, but when it came to her husband, she always seemed to be dwarfed by his large frame. Austin leaned forward, planting a kiss on Lisa‘s lips that was meant to be a small moment of affection. Lisa wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and pushed herself against him, kissing him deeply.

After a few moments Austin pulled back and smiled.“Unfortunately we have somewhere to be.”

Lisa chuckled and gave her husband a small nod. She turned and left the door before looking over her shoulder one last time. “I know you’re nervous. I get it . I can see it in your eyes. But...Amy needs you today…” Austin sighed hard and bowed his head. A second later, he looked in the mirror one last time as Lisa stepped out of the room.

She was right. He was nervous. He was going into a courtroom, with lawyers and a judge. The person, the people, who were going to hold the future of Amy and her child in their hands. And Austin was expected to be the star character witness when it came to Amy and who she was. He knew all the things that they could bring up, but didn’t know what they would choose to use. Amy’s past had always been something contentious, as it could have been with any massive family. Christian trying to hide what she had done, Austin finding the truth, but Amy not being able to accept it and wanting to grow in her life and have her own outlook.

The past was never the past. It could always come back and hurt you. And that is what Austin was worried about. Her past coming back to hurt her, Amy not being able to have that second chance that she had fought tooth and nail for. That is what Austin had to do. He had to stand there and be honest and tell every single person who would listen and convince them that Amy was not just a suitable mother, but she was an excellent one.

He felt pressure.

Austin closed his eyes taking a long deep breath. He held it in his lungs as his mind flashed backwards and forwards for everything he had done. His own life and his own struggles. Losing his mother, losing his father, fighting for his sister. The alcohol abuse, the abusive ex, everything he had gone through and grown through. He was strong enough to do this.

And he refused to let his sister down.

Godly

”Eenie meenie miney mo, Max Burke tried to beat me that was way too slow.”

Austin can’t help but chuckle to himself. He raises his right hand, moving his hair from his face and sliding it behind his ear before stepping forward and putting his hands in the front pocket of his jeans. A black and red Wolfslair shirt proudly on display.

”I told you all. I told you that as good as Max was, if he wanted to keep climbing that ladder and get back to a World Championship opportunity against Mac, he would have to go through me first. He would have to show me and all of you, as well as management that he was ready to shoulder the possibilities and pressure of being in the Main Event at this company. Not everyone can handle that kind of pressure. I can handle that kind of pressure, Ben Jordan can handle that kind of pressure. Alex can handle that pressure and so can Fenris. And as much as I hate to admit it, Mac has also proven himself as a champion worthy of being the one to hold the entire company on his shoulders.”

“Max Burke was not ready to stand in the spotlight. But the question is still hanging over me like a dark cloud. Where do I go from here? Where does my destiny lie in this company? I could turn my focus towards Mac and work my way up to a single one-on-one opportunity for that world championship. After all, the old adage is that if you are not in professional wrestling to be the champion and prove that you are the best thing…you should not be here.“

“However, I have already been to the top of the mountain. I stood there and watched as everyone was scrambling over themselves trying to get at me. That is another thing that so many people are not prepared for – they are not prepared for the target that you have painted on your back when you are a champion. As a world champion, a mixed tag team champion as well as the Internet champion of this company, I knew what it was to hold those championships and have everyone gunning for me.“

“It is the same everywhere you go. It is easier for you to win a championship that it often is to keep it and if you look at the championship history of Sin City Wrestling, with every single championship, there have been so many names on that list where they did not deserve to be the champion. They didn’t deserve to win it and they prove that by losing it in less than a month or in their first defense.”


Austin folds his arms over his chest with a small smile coming across his lips.

“That hasn’t been my problem. When I have held the championship I have made damn sure that I do that title proud. I did it with the honor championship before I came to this company. When I became the world champion I did everything I could to uphold the quality that those before me had set. I did it with the Internet Championship and I made that championship with something and every single champion who has been held since has failed miserably to live up to my standard. Tempest and I held those mixed tag team championships of pride and tried to face and beat everyone who stepped in front of us.”

“I am what you would call…a beast.“

“Six-six, two-sixty-five. I can move like someone a hundred pounds lighter than me, I can throw anyone in this company around the ring. I am not someone to be taken lightly and I’d like to think that my opponent this week isn’t stupid enough to make that kind of mistake. Ken Davison.”

“A Man who exemplifies the term ‘veteran’.”

“I know you can. I know that you have been a huge name in so many of the companies that you’ve been in. Hell, you were even a very brief tag team partner for Alex.. to say that you have been everywhere and done everything is an understatement. Championships and huge matches and pay-per-view numbers. The whole wrestling world had to you want to play because of how good you are.”


He flashes a smile and a respectful nod. His head tilted to the side as he contemplated what to say next.

”And all the respect that you are given in this company and anywhere else you go is definitely earned. I’m not oblivious to the fact that I cannot and will not take you lightly. I know you could beat me, I might be a lot bigger than you, stronger than younger than you and in this company had more success than you, but I am not going to fall into the same trap that so many others do and discount your past and who you are as a human being and a person. Despite anything you have said and your actions, you are most definitely someone who should be respected.”

“You could be the World Champion here. You are definitely good enough but I don’t think that some of the people in this company give you enough credit. From aligning yourself with Mac to winning the Internet Championship, you have shown your work. However, you are also one of the people who failed to take the Internet Championship and bring it to the heights that I did when I held it.”

“I can’t say I’m not disappointed.”

“That championship holds a special place in my heart. This company announced that it was coming back active and I was the first man to hold it since it was reinstated. I knew that that championship needed a strong champion to push it forward and to make it as our prize and that’s exactly what I did. I had that target on my back and I defended it through anyone and everyone only to watch that championship that was handed to people and get passed around. Then, you won it.”


Austin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath calming himself.
 
”And for a brief shining moment I thought that the championship was going to be held by someone who would take it on a long run and restore the prestige that I have tried to give it. But, two months later you lost it to Jack Washington. There is no love lost between myself and Jack, despite the fact that he has been the World Champion at this company twice. The truth is he is still the same snot-nosed little disrespectful piece of shit that he’s always been.”

“He doesn’t know the meaning of respect.”

“But I do Ken...”

“I plan on showing you. You see, I’m going to give you the respect that you deserve by walking down to that room punching you in the mouth as hard as I can. I’m going to give you the respect you deserve by treating you exactly the same as I treat everyone else I face. I am coming for the win,I am coming to kick you right in the head, pick you up and powerbomb you to the mat, drive the air from your body so you can’t breathee. And being a veteran I’m going to guess that you felt that before.”

“The feeling of all the air being pushed out of your lungs. Staring up at those lights not being able to breathe in and not being able to feel like you can live. It is a horrible feeling. And it’s one we all have to live with, one being a professional in this business. As good as you are, I need this. And I like you. I do. I like your outlook on the business, I like your ruthless determination and pursuit of greatness. But I like winning more. So at Climax Control, you are gonna see what it’s like to face someone who was one of the most dominant champions this company has ever had. And I hope you’re ready, because you will need to be.”


13
Climax Control Archives / 19
« on: April 21, 2022, 11:59:13 PM »
Session 19: The Middle

These sessions were becoming a struggle. Being honest with herself was hard enough, But being honest with someone else? That was almost impossible. The Doctor was waiting, tapping her fingers on the arms of her old wooden chair. The fabric had started to fray. Alicia raised an eyebrow. It was strange, a year ago that chair looked brand new. As if it had just come off the floor at a high end furniture shop. One that specialized in antique reproduction. But now, less than two years later, it had aged.

The fabric was faded, frayed, torn in a few placed, the buttons at the top had turned to an almost silver color as the gold faded, the wood had scratched and the finish had worn off. Alicia was distracted by it, losing focus on everything she had to say and what the Doctor wanted to talk about.

Whitlow was not impressed.

She cleared her throat snapping Alicia out of her daze. Alicia swallowed hard and gave a small nod, deciding to break the silence and tension that had been slowly building for the last ten minutes. Ten minutes that had been insipid greetings and pleasantries before silence and distraction. Time had slowed, it had felt like hours. ”I don’t know where to go from here. She paused and shook her head again before sitting forward, balancing her elbows on her knees, the denim on her jeans feeling rough on the points of her elbows. ”The destruction and breakdown of a marriage can’t be condensed into one moment or point…” She swallowed again, trying to choke down tears that she could already feel rising up.

Dr Whitlow raised an eyebrow and gave a nod. It was an honest realization from Alicia that surprised her. ”You told me how you started on the path, there has to be a moment or two that sticks out to you. A time when you sat back and it hit you that maybe he and you had differing needs and wants in life.” Her voice was always kind, it was soothing and calming, letting Alicia know everything was alright.

The normally strong Alicia swallowed, took a deep breath, a sip of water and shook her head. ”Well, I guess a huge bane of contention was when I decided to go back to work.

”I just thought we were going to make a decision.”

The word we made Alicia wince. After all this wasn’t so much a we conversation. She shook her head raising her hands to her head as she ran her hands through her hair and looked over at Michael. Her husband of two years, the man that had taken her career out of the mud and her personal life out of the darkness. His short wavy brown hair sliding down over his eyes as he shook his head. Alicia could feel the disappointment, it made her skin crawl. But she was standing firm. ”We..” Thye word was uttered loud enough for Michael to hear but still close to a low whisper.

He raised an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest. He stood there in a pair of black work out shorts and no shirt, Alicia opened the door to the bathroom, turning on the faucet to brush her teeth, Michael stepped forward and leaned against the door frome, his arms still folded. ”Yes we. Instead of talking to me you signed the extension to go back. No conversation, no mediation. Just a signature and the end of it. I’m supposed to be someone you talk to…” Alicia spit the toothpaste into the sink and washed her brush shakeing her head.

”Eddie looked over the contract, the amount they paid me to come back…Michael not everyone gets that kind of deal. And I get time off so I-”

Michael raised his voice interrupting, startling Alicia and making her jump. ”The money isn’t the point!” He shook his head and threw his hands in the air. ”We have money, through your career and mine, we hyave it. We have this house, you have a stake in Wolfslair. Money isn’t a goddamn problem and you know it.

Alicia flared her nostrils and matches his stance, folding her arms now as well and tilting her head. ”So…what the rfuck is it thenj?”

”Just forget it Ali”

He turned to walk away, Alicia stepped forward, determined to have this fight. Determined to find out just what the hell he wanted and his problem was. ”No, I won’t “forget it”. You clearly want to say something to me, something on your mind. So say it, why are you so angry and distant? Why are you acting like such an asshole?”

”An asshole? For what? Wanting you to live up to your promise? To actually have another child?” And there it was. What Michael wanted. What he always wanted. ”You said we would look at having a child together Ali. You said we would take that ste-”

”Stop!” She raised her voice, Michael stopped and breathed out trying to calm himself down. ”You keep using the word we. This isn’t your decision. You can’t tell me to stop doing something I love just because you want to have a child now.”

”The window is closing Ali….I don’t want to wait and you just keep ignoring me and I have had enough..we need to-”

”There is no WE in this…” She stepped forward and shook her head, right in Michaels face. ”It is my body, my career, MY decision.” She shook her head, Michael backed away and moved from the bedroom. Alicia wanted to scream, she wanted to hit the wall. She wanted her anger to be let out.

”He didn’t understand you…”

”Oh he understood, he just didn’t care. He had his own selfish reasons. And that fight…I think that fight was the beginning of the moment our relationship became unsalvagable.” She swallowed and shook her head trying to hold back the tears. Dr Whitlow stood up, she moved toward Alicia and reached down, placing her hand on Alicias head. There was no words that needed to be said. Alicia had made the realisation she needed to.

But not necessarily one she wanted to.

Moving on.

Heavy boots hitting a hardwood floor greet us. The leather Doc martins pound over and over again as the footsteps lead us to a pair of black jeans, torn in strategic places. A black leather studded belt and a black band shirt. Her long hair flowing down as her ruby red lips twist into an arrogant smirk.

”Do you all get the point now?”

Alcia laughs and shakes her head, her arms folding over her chest as she lets out a large huff from inside her lungs.

”What I did to Candy, how I beat her, it was for the good of the bombshells division. It was for the good of my division, my company. And make no mistake the SCW bombshells division is still MY division. And SCW is my company. I have been here long enough to see how this works. I have been here long enough to watch people come and people go. And through everything, through injuries and personal turmoil I have been flying the flag for this place. And I have beebn telling you all for years what this division needed to be to succeed.”

“When I fierst put pen to paper in SCW the division was in tatters. It was not the powerhouse it was today. A bombshell had never NEVER been awarded wrestler od the year and the Bombshells title wouldn’t even SNIFF a pay per view or supercard main event. Dani Weston, while a talented woman was not the leader the division needed or wanted. No, the bombshells division was a joke.”

“Gone were the days were Mercedes Vargas was relevant. Keira and Roxi had walked from SCW and Mikah’s domination was a distant memory despite being ended by the woman I beat and the biggest star was fucking Crystal Hilton that no one cared about.”

“No, this company was infested with people like Amanda Cortez  Delia Darling, Polly Playtime….where are they now? Are any of them relevant anywhere? Because they weren’t in SCW and in Amanda Cortez’ case she has disappeared completely. I had a vision for the bombshells division and I championed it. I held that title with pride and I have been a champion others aspired to be. And while we have had other champions that mattered here like Amber Ryan and Roxi…we have had ones that should never have gotten close to that title. So..many would say I failed.”


Alicia scoffed and shook her head with a small shrug.

”For every Amber Ryan we have seen a Seleana Zdunich, for every Evie Jordan we have seen a Christina Rose return to prominence and embarrassment. For every Roxi we have a Keira. So, again I am going to have to go back to the start and I am going to have to cut out the cancers I see in this division. And all the while I will test everyone else through what they do in the ring. Candy was the first one I needed to beat and expose as a fraud. She doesn’t belong here, she doesn’t deserve to be here and I am done with her. Done with her attitude. And now, well, it;’s time to move on and time to move on up.”

“And SCW has seen fit to put me in the ring with the hometown girl. Or rather home country girl. Ariana Angelos. The greek goddess herself. A lofty claim Ariana. I suppose you somehow fit the bill. Gods being make believe much like your thoughts of success and relevance. Its a constant struggle isn’t it Ariana? And I get it, I do. I understand it. You’re this plucky, happy little underdog who wants to make everyone happy and wants to show how good she can be. And I can’t fault you for it. I really can’t. But I question yo0ur sincerity in how far you’ll go to realise your dreams.”

“How far are you willing to go to become a champion and a name that echoes through the ages? Like your greek gods.”

“How far Ariana?”

“I think you have seen how far I’ve been prepared to go. Even with your Greek heritage you are still steeped in American culture. Being from Pittsburg you know what it’s like to have to work right? But how far will you go? What will you do?”


Alicia shrugs and sighs heavily, sliding her hands into the front pockets of her black jeans.

”I know you could beat me. It’s an outside chance, but you could. You could catch my off guard, you could cheat, you could bludgeon me half to death. But you won’t. Becauser you are no capable of it. You aren’t physically, mentally or emoionally capable top doing what is needed to be a leader. But do you know who is Ariana?”

“Me”

“I am”

“I am the leader this division needs and deserves. And you? Well, this match will let me see if there is a place for you in my division and my vision for what SCW and the bombshells division should be. A division that is about the sport of professional wrestling. One that is about what we can accomplish in the ring and one where it comes to the hatred of each other and the need to prove you can be better than your rival.”

“This company shouldn’t be about Candy and her little dog, it shouldn’t be about Chrystalina and her marital problems with the blond charisma vacuum, it shouldn’t be about Keiras constant need for validation as she tries to get out from her wife’s shadow. Or about whoever Kristal is fucking or whatever relationship issues they all have.”


Alicia growls and shakes her head.

”You may or may not have a spot here Ariana. You might be someone who can step up and be a part of this vision. But, you also might not. You might get put in the same little box as Candy. See, my vision consists of Myra, Andrea, Amber, Kat, Roxi and myself. We are the type of women you should aspire to be like and trust me on thi9s, it’s not a personal thing. The only women in that little list I like on a personal level are Amber Ryan and Kat Jones. I don;’t liike Myra, I don’t like Andrea or Roxi….”

“I barely like myself.”

“But, they can all go. They can all get in the ring and throw down. They can all carry the division on their backs as champions. Kat has done it in other places, Amber has done it here and many other places. Roxi, Andrea and Myra to and of course me. Will you get in the ring and join us Ariana? Or will you be like another one of these waste of spaces that whine and piss and moan yet never stand up and set themselves loose and show they can be a star?...”

“I will hold you to the same standard as I hold Bella Madison, I love that girl but she needs to step up and so do you. So, Climax Control, Rhodes Greece….you get to face a legend Ariana and trust me, I am a legend. You on the other hand? I’ll put the “god” name to the test…”

14
Climax Control Archives / 18
« on: April 01, 2022, 10:03:10 PM »
Session 18: The beginning of the end

”So, we haven’t talked about Michael”

”There’s a reason for that”

She delivered the line bluntly. No emotion, no hesitation. Just a flat delivery with a raised eyebrow. Dr Whitlow huffed under her breath and scribbled on the paper. Alicia just shook her head and turned looking toward the door. Her hands clasped together as she let out an indignant grunt. Something felt off, different. Something in Alicia had changed. The last few months, seeing her Doctor, they had helped.

Confronting things from her past, all the ghosts and demons, it made her realise who she was. Not a victim of her mistakes, but a product of them. It had given her a fresh outlook, but this was one road she didn’t feel the need to walk down. One that she didn’t want to. The wound was still open and fresh, still bleeding. And it made her uneasy, uncomfortable. And it was in a way that she didn’t want to controint. But, that never stopped Whitlow.

”Violet” Her name. It inflamed her anger. Her fists clenched as she folded her arms over her chest. A few deep breaths and she was able to calm herself down. ”Michael is the last barrier. The last moment in your life that is causing you regret. If you face it…you’ll be able to move on..”

”From what?”

Her bright blue eyes trailed up to look the aging woman in the face. Dr Whitlow. Someone who Alicia had looked up to for the last few months, someone she had grown close to now seemed to look like what she was. A frail old woman. ”If you examine what happened, maybe you can mend the rift.” Her voice trailed off. Alicia pushed herself up from the chair moving around the office.

She refused to lay down, refused to revisit this as deeply as Dr Whitlow wanted. Infact she was holding it back,m pushing it down into the pit of her stomach. She ground her teeth together and growled. Whitlow shook her head and took her glasses off, putting them on the desk next to her. ”I thought I was supposed to confront my failures…this wasn’t MY failure. And there it was, the reason why she refused to walk down that path, to confront this one. In her mind she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Dr Whitlow stayed calm, her hands sitting in her lap as she tilted her head, her long salt and pepper hair tied back and clipped high. Her eyes, a similar shade of blue to Alicias seemed to glow as she sighed. ”It was still a pivotal moment…and one you havn’t talked about. Michael was the reason you came here….and three months ago your marriage all but ended…” She sat higher in her chair, relaxing her shoulders. ”So let’s examine why…”

There was a tense moment of silence between them. Alicia looked away and shook her head. After some time, she turned and gave a nod to the old woman. Still not happy about this, but understanding why, she sat down, leaning forward on her own knees, balancing her elbows as she clasped her hands together again, her golden locks dangling down as she took in a long deep breath. ”He….always wanted another child…maybe even a girl…”

His touch was soft and tender, his strong jaw lines framing a youthful face that betrayed his age and wisdom. His fingertips danced along her cheekbone, sliding her hair behind her ear as he leaned in to kiss her. The laughter of her sons stopped the moment. Rory and Ryan ran passed with a few other children they had made friends with. The park was full, families were out enjoying the sunshine. Alicia smiled watching them, Michael sat up and grabbed a bottle of water twisting the top and handing it to Alicia. She raised it and winced before switching from her right arm to the left.

”How long until you see the orthopedic surgeon?” Alicia shrugged as she took a sip, Michael shook his head and pulled his knees to his chest. ”Are you even going to? Or are you just going to rehab it and hope for the best?” Alicia shot him a look and sighed, Michael shook his head back and put his hand on top of hers to get her attention. Frustrated by her unwillingness to answer his questions. ”Are you afraid? Afraid that they’ll tell you it’s time to retire?...would that be so bad Ali?”

”No…I mean, yes. I’d be sad but….if I had to give it up I could.” She was lying. Michael knew it. He could see it in her eyes.

He looked over at the boys and smiled calmly, his demeanor changing as he squeezed her hand again. ”If you couldn’t, or if surgery would limit your movement and do more damage….would retiring be that bad?. We could..try for a baby.” And there it was. Michael and Alicia had talked about this before. When they got married he asked if she wanted more children, at the time she said yes, but as the months moved on to years Alicia realised that she had so much more to do, to accomplish.

Things she couldn’t do if she took two years off to have another child.

Michael stared, his eyes asking the same question over andf over. Alicia closed her eyes, she wanted to tell him, she needed to tell him. She got the courage up into her chest and turned to him. But the second she looked into her eyes, she faltered. ”I….” He tilted his head, squeezing her hand again as she looked down at their wedding rings, sitting on top of one another as their hands stayed locked. She moved back up to his face, leaning in for a small kiss on his lips, pulling back with a tender smile. ”I’ll talk to them Monday. And I’ll see what my options are. Maybe it is time. But I just don’t know…”

She smiled weakly, it was her trying to pass off how she felt. Michael swallowed hard, his smile faded, his shoulders dropped and his back arched. He was clearly upset. But, he hid it. He pushed it down and gave Alicia a small smile and a njod before leaning forward and placing his forehead against hers with a laugh. ”If you and I are meant to have a child then..I guess it’s in fates hands right?” Alicia smiled and gave another nod. Rory and Ryan laughed. Alicia looked over at them, the other children laughing and smiling.

Part of her wanted it.

But, another part of her didn’t…

”You could have told him then…”

Dr Whitlow sighed heavily, Alicia cleared her throat and shrugged turning toward her. ”Yeah, I could have. But part of me didn’t really know, or didn’t want accept it.” She looked away again, closing her eyes as she remembered the pain, the pain in her shoulder, the pain in her heart. That moment, where she could of broken Michzaels heart but maybe saved her marriage. ”I love…loved him. I did…but sometimes that just isn’t enough.”

She paused, that was a moment in time, but not the moment. Dr Whitlow finished her note, put the pad down and sighed with a shake of her head, removing her glasses and rubbing her tired o0ld eyes. ”Next time…I need you to tell me what ended it…can you do that?...it’s the only way you can know if you really want to be a wife in the future..or a mother.”

Alicia ground her teeth and turned, a switch had been flipped and she stepped toward Dr Whitlow, leaning down to get to the old woman face. ”I am going to make one thing, ONE FUCKING THING perfectly clear. I was happy as a wife, and I am a great mother. I love my sons, I would DIE for them. But nobody, not my mother, my father, my ex boyfriends or husbands, or my kids…or YOU…can tell me what I am supposed to do with my goddamn life…”

The situation seemed out of control, Alicia felt rhe anger in her build up, her head ached and felt as if someone was squeezing her temples. She stepped back, her hands were shaking. Dr Whitlow stood up and smiled with a small nod raising her hands up/ ”It’s alright Alicie…it’s alright…..go home..get some rest…we can pick this up next time…” Alicia swallowed hard again and gave a nod, moving passed D rWhitlow, she was so tired, so tired of all of it.

She just wanted to sleep….

A melted Candy

”You’re all blind….which is ironic isn’t it?”

Alicia sighs heavily, her hands moving up through her long blond hair as she grunts and pushes herself up to her feet.

”I have told you all that she is evil. That she is someone who cannot and must not be trusted. But do any of you listen to me? Do any of you take what I say as truth? See the last few months I have been dedicated to eradicating not just stupidity but undue arrogance from Sin City Wrestling. Now, I know there are questions about Wolfslair and our future. Let me be very clear about this. Wolfslair as an idea, as a gym, as a movement will always be there. But, as group? Well that is different.”

“Thing is, I have never needed that side of it. Alicia Lukas is a star, a bright shining star and one of the best professional wrestlers on this goddamn planet. And when I am done wiping Candy off the bottom of my boot I will turn my attention back to what I deserve. What I need.”

“The Sin City Wrestling Bombshells title.”

“See, for the last few months I have been lost. Wandering around in a haze of not remembering who and what I am while also allowing myself to just simply, exist. Think about that, one of the most dominant women in this company and I was happy to just exist. See that’s what this business does to you. It chews you up, it spits you out. It forces you to no longer be special. And that’s the thing, there are only a handful of women in this company that feel special.”


She laughs to herself. Shaking her head as the realisation hits her.

”Amber, Roci, Myself, Andrea, Myra. We all feel special. Like we have accomplished things that so many others have struggled to do. But Andrea is fading, Roxi has had to pull herself back up in resurrection after getting her tenth or eleventh shot at Amber. And AMber herself. A woman who broke my records. What does she do now? Where does she go? Everyone else in this company who has felt special, Mikah, Dani even Crystal at one point, they have all fallen into mediocrity. And I was letting it happen to me…”

“And I will be really honest with all of you. I was not okay with that. Not at all. So, as I stood and watched a woman who has nothing special about her get handed the fucking keys to SCW my stomach tuened. Candy got to make decisions that impacted people who were infinitely more talented than her. She got to make stupid matches with stupid stimpulations that made a fool of mpeople like myself. Real wrestlers, real women who live and breathe for the combat. Candy got to try and make us all look foolish.”

“And we all had to sit there and eat it.”

“Learn to love the taste of shit indeed.”

“And I have had to watch this idiotic piece of shit stumble through her career and somehow stay employed, stay popular and in some cases succeed. All while doing things that if others did, they’d get vilified for. Straight up made into pariahs and destroyed. Yet, she does what she wants. Little miss Candy is so innocent and so amazing right? The glitter is nothing but a fun little gimmick that is just so fucking pretty and doesn’t hurt anybody…”


She rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. Alicia’s look, demeanor and attitude in stark contrast to Candy. Alicia's long blond hair flowing down her back and shoulders, down her leather biker jacket and black T-shirt with the logo of the Swedish rock band Ghost.

”Until it does. And not only does the glitter present a danger to your eyes but, it is a cheat. It’s a cheap cheating move that everyone turns a blind eye to. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind right? Well Candy is not going to get revenge on me. She is not going to get her pound of flesh and walk away with a win. And why? Because Candy is simply not good enough. However, the fact that this has to take place with us both blindfolded is fitting but also a joke.I would love to see what I am going to do to Candy…cause everything I am prepared to do…is well worth it…”

“She’s a joke, and not even a funny joke that can be passed off as fun or charming. She is the type of joke your aging Aunt tells you when you’re five years old that you cackle like a lunatic at. Only to still be her go to joke when you’re 12 years old…that you now roll your eyes and and just want to stop hearing.”

“She’s such a bad joke, Will Smith is warming up his pimp hand as we speak…”

“Is that topical enough for y’all? But the fact remains, Candy is someone who so many of us can’t stand. From the happy go lucky attitude, to the stupid glitter, to her ugly fucking dog, the truth with Candy is that she isn’t talented so she has to use this stupid shit to stay relevant in a world that has moved on from rainbows and unicorn farts.”


She speaks through gritted teeth, her bright blue eyes flash with fire and anger. She slams her fist on the table, it causes the can of Monster energy on the table to shake.

”And the worst part about you Candy? You can’t even stand up for yourself. You were in a match in the blast from the past and your focus was on me. Well, Marcus' focus was on me. And he was the one who unleashed a tirade on me. You left lame traps ansd smiled and did you usual idiot behavior. Meanwhile your husband decided to run his mouth. And the truth is Candy, there is a small amount of truth in what he said.”

“I am jealous of you.”

“I am jealous of the fact that you can be such a huge joke, do stupid things that would get others thrown out and somehow get handed opportunities week in and week out. I am jealous of the fact you are universally loved when all you do is make a fool of yourself and a mockery of the wrestling business. Everything you do is a offense to me and people like me. Women who bleed and sweat and dedicate themselves to the purity of professional fucking wrestling.”


She shakes her head and looks away, growling under her breath before looking up, her nostrils flare as she tilts her head.

”I hate you…I hate you with everything I am.”

She pauses again letting her words sink in before standing up straight and folding her arms over her chest.

”Blindfold or not, joke or not I am going to get in that ring and do everything I can to hurt you, to break you and to put my mark on this business again. Because you Candy are nothing but a stepping stone back to where I need to be, where I deserve to be. This isn’t about the internet title, the mixed tag team titles or the roulette titles. No, not at all. This is all to bring me back up to that one title that really matters, the championship that everyone wants to hold yet so few people are capable of.”

“The Sin City Wrestling bombshells title. A championship that will never, ever be in Candys possession. A title she can’t even get a shot at because she will never be good enough to pull herself to that level, to become the star that I am.”

“Honestly, Candy you should be thanking me. You should get on your knees and hand me all your goddamn skittles and junior mints and milk duds and whatever else you have because I am dragging you, kicking and screaming up the card to a higher level than you would ever. EVER. Reach on your own. Or with your idiot husband talking for you.”

“And trust me on this. If he utters my name again, I will drag his titred, broken down, needs viagra to compensate ass down to the ring and I’ll make him my bitch.”

“But, in Greece, you and I will have our eyes hidden, we will get in the ring and I will break you in half. Because that is what you deserve, that is what you need and that is what I want. Good luck Candy, you’ll need it against me.”

15
Supercard Archives / Re: Alicia Lukas v Candy
« on: January 19, 2022, 08:20:10 AM »
Session 17: Ending the mutual toxicity

”So, if he didn’t leave after what happened with Kaden, how did you break the cycle?”

Well. Right into it. Alicia could hear her own heartbeat in her ears. She hated going over this, she hated being confronted with it. Being forced to relive and revisit memories that she had buried deep down. But, the only way to heal, the only way to grow as a person and be happy within herself and her own skin was to face all of this. It was to hold up a mirror and do the one thing she never really had been able to do.

Be honest with herself.

She closed her bright blue eyes and swallowed hard, pushing all the fear, hatred and trepidation down. But it wasn’t fear of what Travis did. It wasn’t hatred of who he was. It was fear of remembering how much she let her own anger take over. Hatred of her attitude and herself. ”I guess you could say…I was honest with him.”

There was a pause, Dr Whitlow raised an eyebrow, scribbling notes down on her notepad. Alicia had been coming here long enough now to watch that notepad go from thick as an old history book to only a few pages. And the fill on her Doctors desk instead become thick and heavy with the weight of everything Alicia had said and just what her Doctor thought.

She fumbled her hands together and looked down, Dr Whitlow raised her pencil up to her lips, tapping the end a few times on her chin before nodding. ”Honest….how?” Alicia let out an audible sigh. Her shoulders slumping as she was growing sick and tired of all of this. She rolled her eyes, an action that seemed to anger the Doctor as she shifted her weight in the chair. But Alicia to was growing angry, her own frustrations boiling up inside from the pit of her stomach as she put her hands on her knees and rose up from the leather couch. ”Sit down.”

”No…”

She took a deep breath, she straightened her back and puffed out her chest, putting bass in her voice trying to add an air of authority. ”I’m tired of this. For almost a year I have come here, sat on that couch and unburdened myself to you, and what has it got me?...where am I in my life?..” The question hung in the air for what seemed to be an eternity. Dr Whitlow failed to answer, her lips pursing together. ”Months ago, I felt good about my life, about the place I was in. But you kept pushing, you kept digging over and over with your fucking questions. And now where am I Doc?...”

She turned on her heels, staring right at the older woman. Her eyes locked on Alicia who was now shaking, her hands, nher arms, her entire body shaking with anger, fear and sadness. All of it mixing and turning and churning deep inside her as the heartbeat got louder and more rapid with each passing second. It was deafening.Dr Whitlow gripped the pencil harder, it bent in her hand as Alicia shook her head and threw her hands in the air. She could feel it, the tears welling up in her eyes.

She felt the words raising up, she swallowed hard trying to push them back down, but she was powerless to stop it, the tears felt hot on her cheek and rolled down from her eyes and fell to the floor right beside her feet. ”I have lost everything. My career is in pieces, I feel disconnected and lost from my sons and my husband, my husband is gone. Unable to deal with my insistence on having a career instead of having another child with him….and through it all…ALL OF IT…you have just pushed me into my memories in some vain hope that it would fix me….FIX ME….” Her hands moves, shaking even more up top her head running through her wavy blond hair. Her voice lowering and the bass she inserted to add authority melted away to a whimper.

”Why am I like this?”

There was nothing there, no answer, no quick fix. Dr Whitlow just stayed silent, her hand relaxed around the pencil and Alicia looked up at the ceiling. Her mind flashed back to her and Travis. No matter how hard she tried to fight it. It was there. That night she ended it. She came home from the gym, before wolfslair she trained by herself. She would do weights, cardio, her in ring training was every single match. Her life was in tatters.

She only had visitation for her sons, her mother still treated her lick shit, she was building her career, but when she walked in the door of her small two bedroom apartment. She was angry.

Not for any other reason than he was there.

Travis Blake. He barely worked, barely talked to her and when he did it was usually a crude comment about sex. Thats all they had now. There was no emotion on her part. She didn’t even like spending time with him. Always making excuses to go out, She needed to train, she needed to buy groceries. She needed to see her mother, her sister, her brother. It was all lies, she didn’t need to do anything. But, it was her own fault. She had cheated on Travis, broken his heart. And even though he didn’t leave, he used Alicia's transgressions, her mistakes to treat her like shit.

She had her reasons, her justifications. But the fact she pushed Travis away and he stayed made her feel like she owed him, that he was a better person than her and she was lucky he was there. They would fight, he would bring up Kaden and she would apologize. They’d have unsatisfying make up sex and Alicia would cry herself to sleep. Wash. Rinse. And repeat.

Tonight felt…different

”You’re always late coming home…it’s like you’re fucking curing cancer and staying late at the hospital or some shit Lic…” She stayed silent, rolling her eyes and moving passed him, she didn’t want to fight, but there was that feeling in the air. That unmistakable thick tension. ”Nothing to say huh? typical..I don’t know why I stay I really do-”

”Why do you stay?”

He raised an eyebrow ”What?”

Alicia swallowed hard, her hand letting go of her bag letting it drop to the floor as she shook her head and turned around. ”If you’re so miserable, if you hate me that much, then the door is right fucking there Travis.”

”You’d like that wouldn’t you? So you can go back to Kaden right?” There it was.

Alicia laughed and shook her head. ”You know, I didn’t really see anything in Kaden Kessler either. He was a womanising manslut who sleeps with anything and changed women like most people change their underwear.” She paused and laughed to herself ”He was a means to an end. You were suffocating me and I wasn’t honest with you so I tried to push you away. But…I’m starting to see that was a mistake and I owe you the respect of honesty..” She stepped forward, anger etched on her face as she snarled and got right up to Travis face, his long hair and scraggly beard flowing down as Alicia tilted her head.

Travis stuttered ”Hey look..I get it..I pushed you to far..I’m sorry.”

Her reached out, his hand touching her shoulder, her arm shot up slapping his hand away. ”Don’t fucking touch me Travis…” She shook her head and her nostrils flared. She had enough. ”I’m a fucking teain wreck. And I was desperate and in many ways still am, for the longest time I have let men walk all over me. You, Kessler, Chris Cane. You all wanted something from me and all you have done is take. All you have done is use me up and spit me out like I’m some kind of fucking toy….I’m done….get out..”

”What?”

Her chest heaved, her eyes burned as she held back tears refusing to give him the satisfaction of letting him see her cry and vulnerable. ”Get out…..come back and get your shit tomorrow when I’m not here….I don’t want you, I don’t need you and I’m done feeling like a piece of shit….”

And that was it…

”I got home the next day after signing my contract for Honor wrestling, and he was gone. His clothes, his workout gear, DVD’s all that shit…”

Dr Whitlow sat silently, listening to it all as tears had kept falling this entire time. Alicia shook her head looking over at the doctor with a scoff.”No inspiring words of wisdom? No gtelling me that I did the right thing and I was strong?..cause I have to be honest here Doc, I’m starting to believe that I’m broken and there’s no way to fucking fix me…”

Her bottom lip quivered, her eyes were read and ached under the pressure. All she wanted to do was crawl into a ball and forget. To become nothing. Nobody. It would be easier for everyone.

”Sit down….”

#BANTHEGLITTER

”December the fifth. Twenty twenty one.. The last time you all saw me in an SCW ring. The last time you have seen me in any ring. A night where I had the chance to beat three women to get into a match for the internet championship. The bombshells internet title that is the only one not to be held by a member of Wolfslair.”

The familiar voice of Alicia Lukas. Soft spoken yet powerful. A southern twang that is stil evident yet faded with time since leaving Atlanta Georgia full time ten years ago.

”I faced three women who are, quite frankly, beneath me. And no, that isn’t me being arrogant, that is a fact. Dani Weston,m the ultamate flake with one foot in and one foot out of the wrestling business who has serious commitment issues. Seleana Zdunich, the little engine that could that hasn’t been able to chug her lame duck ass over her own wife let alone a title hunt. And Jesse Salco. The ultimate opportunist who is always jumping up and down waving her fucking arms while screaming “Look at me, notice me”. The woman who won that match and is going to be at Inception computing for that Internet title.”

“Do you guys want a little preview for that match? Or better yet, I’ll spoil the whole damn thing. Jessie, will make all sorts of wild promises that she can’t keep, she’ll promise to win the internet title and promise to be the best while never addressing any evidence to the contrary while also tearing down her much more talented opponent, she will lose to Andrea and then completely ignore it like she does with every single loss and never learn from it. And Andrea, well, Andrea will laugh at Jessie before the match, remind us all that Jessie is a giant pain in the ass while giving her a small shred of legitimacy in fluking out a win in a fourway match, and she’ll do it by cutting a three hour long promo that gets repeated on Inception itself in a pre match pre tape…am I in the ballpark here?..there you go fans I just bought you twenty minutes to heat up some pizza rolls and make sure you have enough soda or beer while watching the show…”

“You’re fucking welcome..”

“Now, with that being said let me be perfectly clear here. That fourway was total bullshit and while those three women are beneath me so is my opponent for Inception.”

“However. I feel the need to clarify a few things. Some injustices done in this goddamn company. I believe things should be earned. I ran my mouth about people who, apparently I’m not allowed to name or talk anymore because I’ll get a strongly worded DM on twitter begging me not to be “so mean”, I ran my mouth about them all because I had a problem with the way they conducted themselves in pursuit of championships and fame. But it has become abundantly clear to me that aside from Johanna, Amber, Kat,  Bella, Tempest and Krystal Wolfe every single one of you bitches is shameless in your attempts at trying to get noticed and handed things. Even women I once had respect for have shown their true colors.”


Alicia scoffs and shakes her head, her light blonde curls bouncing as she pushes her ruby red lips together and tuts under her breath.

”But one woman I have never really had respect for is one I’m facing as we head into Inception. And the main question I have been asked is, what exactly is my problem with Candy? Why do I seem to have such anger, hatred and disdain for her? Do you people all get together and smoke crack behind a walmart in Florida or something? Candy is one of those women that is a throwback to a time when womens wrestling was joked about. She is the type of woman who belongs with Keira and Roxi and all those women that never really took this sport seriously. She is here to be something to look at and laugh at. A woman who is all about glitter, and the color pink and puppies and kittens and mittens….”

She shakes her head and grunts as she gets to her feet. Alicia paces back and forth, her black and white converse tapping on the floor below, a leather biker jacket hanging over a black Motley Crue shirt.

”For the longest time I have tried to take the high road. Cause, I was busy. I was at the top of the card in main event. I was holding or chasing the World championship and being the shining goddamn light of this company and a womens division that had become a broken, cluttered mess. I picked it up, I dusted that shit off and I remade it in my own image. I am the reason why you have people like Amber Ryan, Andrea Hernandez and Kat Jones in this company. I am the reason why people care about it and I am the reason why women have a chance to main event huge shows. I pushed all of this…and women like Candy…tear it down and make us all take a collective step back.”

“Do I look like a woman who steps back? I have never been that type of girl. And I refuse to now. So, now that I have some free time, now that I am not tied to the pressure of success and I an just go about, slumming it down here with the talentless ones, I can spare the five minutes it will take to hear my music hit, walk down to that ring and beat Candy like a glitter filled pinata….”

“And it’s not going to just be for me Candy, because really, aside from some morbid enjoyment what is it that I get out of beating you?”

“Is it that sweet sweet bragging right to say I beat a former Roulette champion who held the title two years ago? In her only moment of relevance? Is that it? Cause lets be honest here Candyfloss, after the names I have on my list, yours won’t really set the world on fire will it? Especially after you were gone for six months and played around in management forcing real competitors into stupid ass gimmick matches.”


Alicia shrugs and folds her arms over her chest.

”Could it be some revenge for a slight that isn’t related to who you are? Like some personal vengeance? No, because your career has never touched mine and never will. What about a win streak? No, not that either, you’ve been back to two matches and you’ve gone one and one the only win against Char fucking Kwan who is one of the only women on the roster more pathetic than you and your lone win being against Crystal Zdumbass. So really…what does a win over you get me Candy?”

“Nothing…”

“I personally gain nothing from getting in that ring and beating you down. “

“Except for being able to prove a point. Being able to take a stand against you and people like you who would make a mockery of what we all do in that ring. Now, some people may believe that I take all this to seriously. And I can see how that would be a misconception. They say things like “Oh Candy is harmless” or “Candy is a sweetheart” and thats the problem. You are harmless, you are a sweetheart. And you can go and do that candy coated frosted fucking bullshit anywhere. Go home and be a wife to Marcus, be a goddamn weather girl on channel six news at 2 in the morning in regional markets in oklahoma…go host a bad children's TV show…I don’t care…”

“But get your ass the fuck out of wrestling. Cause your future looks bleak Candy, it really does. And while you sit there smiling like a freshly ice picked lobotomy patient while pee wees playhouse flickers in the tiny tv inside your head, I want you to TRY and focus on the fact you are facing one of the most decorated women in this company and wrestling as a whole…and then I want you to try and conjure up enough IQ points to actually be intimidated…cause fear is a great motivator…and you need every chance you can get…at Inception…I ban the glitter…”

16
Climax Control Archives / Session 16
« on: December 03, 2021, 08:55:20 PM »
Session 16-Travis Blake and Kaden Kessler

”You mentioned how your relationships always failed…”

Alicia looked up, she shook her head thinking carefully before answering. ”I have no memory of that.” She answered dryly, Dr Whitlow raised an eyebrow and set her pad and pen down, she leaned forward clasping her hands together staring a hol right through Alicia. Truth is since opening up about Chris Cane, since accepting that maybe, just maybe the degradation and destruction of their marriage wasn’t all just on him, Alicia has been thinking about everything, dissecting the past and her role in everything.

And now Dr Whitlow wanted to go deeper into this, tear apart everything and put it back together giving a clearer picture of the truth that would lead to acceptance and growth. Alicia didn’t want to go down this road. Ignorance is bliss right? ”The only way we can get to the root of all your problems and try and move passed and manage them is to show you the truth,,,”

The truth

She ground her teeth together, shaking her head as she looked to the side, unable to make eye contact with Dr Whitlow, unable to even entertain the thought of it. She knew if she did Whitlow would see the doubt and trepidation. ”What if the truth is better left in the past? What if I’m healthier remembering events how I always have?” She finally looked up, right into Dr Whitlows eyes. The wrinkles around them softened as her demeanor changed.

The Doctor was ready to change tact. ”The saying “The truth will set you free” is a fallacy. We all know it. The truth will often lead you to more questions, but the questions are usually easier to answer.” Alicia took a deep breath giving her a nod before relaxing and laying back. Dr Whitlow grabbed her pad and the pen sitting back herself. ”After Chris Cane, you met someone else…what happened?”

What happened indeed.

The relationship with Travis Blake should never have happened. Even in the beginning Alicia knew it. A relationship born from him refusing to leave her alone. After the break up from Chris she should have taken time. Time for herself, time for her sons. Time to heal and feel better. But that isn’t what happened. The moment she became single, the moment the wrestling world knew it she was being pursued. And that is the downside of the wrestling business. You want something well known there’s the three ways of communication.

Telegram

Telephone

Tell-a-wrestler.

And the day after she separated from Chris, Travis was there. He hit up her DMs he got her phone number, he was tweeting her, messaging her and even tried calling her. She wanted to be polite, telling him that she was flattered but not ready. However, eventually she gave in. She went on a date with him, it went about as well as you’d expect. But he was persistent, he was determined. And because of that he was endearing. For months they saw each other, even working for the same company. And eventually she gave in. Alicia just folded, letting Travis call the shots in their relationship, they moved in together, it all went so fast and before Alicia knew it she was in the same position she was with Chris Cane…and she hated it.

”Why do you put up with that shit?” The voice of Kaden Kessler rang out across the locker room. Kaden was someone Alicia had known from the original Honor wrestling. Someone who had been on the main show when she was in developmental, they had been friends, kind of. But now after he supported her on social media and had gotten to know her they had grown closer. So close that Travis hated him. The jealousy was obvious.

And with good reason. Kaden was a womaniser. A playboy. He exuded that bad boy confidence that women fell for. Women including Alicia. He was six foot two, tattooed, dark hair that was slicked back. Alicia shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. ”I dunno Kess, every single time I get home I want to walk right back out again, it feels like he’s suffocating me all the time…”

Kaden shook his head moving around Alicia and sitting next to her, his hands clasping together as he let out a groan of frustration. ”Lic, he does this all the time. I’ve seen him backstage, on twitter and when you’re out with him, he’s clingy, he’s controlling. Why are you with him?” She turned trying to come up with an answer, but there was nothing there. She strained trying to justify it. But, there was nothing. And Kaden knew it. ”You’re trapped, and that just isn’t right for a woman like you, you have to be free Alicia…a free spirit…you’re too damn beautiful to be caged up…”

Her heart fluttered, he thought she was beautiful, or atleast that’s what he said, she looked into his eyes, they came close, and his lips met hers. And then, the door flew open, It was Travis ”WHAT THE FUCK ALICIA?”

”I wanted to give him a reason to leave.”

Alicia whispered as she opened her eyes, staring up at the ceiling. It was dirty, cracked, and the paint was stripping off. A stark contrast to the rest of the office that was clean and well maintained. ”So that reason was kissing another man when you knew he was around somewhere close?”

Alicia slowly nodded as she sat up, she let out a sigh and stretched her neck, rubbing it before standing up. ”It was a way out, only, it wasn’t. Even after that Travis wanted to “work things out” He wanted to try harder. So…I pushed him away harder..” She paused, she pushed her jaw together that made her teeth grind and scrape. ”I slept with Kaden….I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere, I knew he was just there for sex, but I wanted Travis gone…I wanted him to no longer have a reason to want me…” She trailed off looking down.

Dr Whitlow scribbled a few lines down before looking up with a small smile ”Did it work?” Alicia swallowed and turned to her Doctor with a heavy sigh.

”...No…”

Another week, another contendership

”This is total bullshit”

Well, that is certainly an opener. Alicia Lukas, clearly pissed off and annoyed stomps back and forth, her long blond hair flowing and moving as she paces back and forth.

”I’m sure you all remember the last time you saw me, standing in the ring at High Stakes, facing Andrea and Keira for the i9nternet championship. A match that should have been one on one. See, Keira got handed a title shot, I took offense, I challenged Keira and beat her. And instead of the match changing from Keira and Andrea to myself and Andrea it became a triple threat match. And as per usual Keira dropped the ball. Something this woman does with an incredible amount of consistency. She dropped the ball with the Bombshells title after fluking her way into winning it…”

“She dropped the ball with every single thing she has ever done. When was the last time she had a title reign or a moment that meant anything? And this woman at the biggest show of the year, got pinned and beat and stopped me from winning the internet title. Then right after ran her mouth trying to get a rematch. Excuse me? Are you serious? If anyone deserved a rematch and a one on one shot it’s the woman who DIDN’T stare at the fucking lights.”

“But, that isn’t what happened is it?”

“No, instead of getting a one on one match against Andrea I have been put in a fourway contenders match. Another hoop to jump through when SCW should, quite honestly be begging for someone like me to face Andrea. And quite simply, Andrea should too. Andrea should be the one out there asking to face me since I’ve beaten her one on one, since I am the only one that could legitimise her reign. Think about it, she pinned Keira, big fucking whoop. Keira got handed a shot, she lost to me and then she failed and got beaten in a match that should never have happened….so now, I have to beat three other women to get the shot that I should have had to begin with…”


Alicia laughs to herself and rolls her eyes clearly still in a bad mood and angry.

”But that is the story of my life here right? I have been one of the most consistent performers in this company and most of my losses are in matches where I had no control over it. I have lost more matches by not even getting pinned than everyone else. And now I have to ask. Why are the other three here? Why have they been selected? I just had a match where I was in contendership for the title, I just got screwed by someone else losing the match, but these three? Are you kidding me? Jessie Salco? Are we just handing her opportunities again? Do you know hoiw little that Internet title would mean if Jessie Salco somehow became the number one contender for it?”

“I don’t think we want to give Andrea the night off that bad do we?”

“Lets face it, Jessie doesn’t have the best record in matches involving me. In fact, if I’m in the match it’s guaranteed that Jessie Salco isn’t going to win. She has never, ever won a match I have been involved in. Jessie has failed time and time again, yet while I succeed, while I stand in the ring against the best of the best week in and week out Jessie stumbles, falls and never learns from her mistakes. And this is someone we’re supposed to respect? This is so0meone we’re supposed to find endearing and want to succeed? No, I don’t think so…”

“Jessie, you can keep trying, you can keep turning up and facing people one on one, or tag matches or multi person matches, you can keep talking about how you’re not going to let it all get you down but in the end sweetheart you are nothing but a failure who can’t stop tripping over her own goddamn feet, so I need to stop you from fluking your way into a title shot…”


Alicia points at the camera as if pointing at Jessie with a sneer on her face.

”And you have to ask yourself, why is Seleana here? Don’t get me wrong, Sel is a great athlete and someone who week nin and week out tries as hard as she can, but why is she here? Why is she getting this opportunity after Bella beat her? Bella made her look unfocused and untalented. In fact that is the worst Seleana has looked in months. And this is what I was worried about with her. See, Seleana is talented, as I have said and will say time and time again. But she is happy coasting along. She is happy just smiling and waving to everyone and acting like the nicest girl on earth.”

“She never shows fire, she never shows anger, she never shows passion. We never get an angry or determined Seleana, all we get is the same happy go lucky smiling blonde bimbo. The same speeches, the same wannabe bullshit, week in week out. Wash rinse and repeat. And I’m tired of it Seleana. I am tired of waiting for you to stand up and actually show passion for this business. I am tired of putting faith and respect in you and on your name”

“Respect based off something you did years ago.”

“Respect based on the fact your idiot wife cost me a championship and you had the pride in yourself and in your career to give me a rematch right away. And after that failure you have just been the same person. Never evolving, never trying. Just being pretty little Seleana Zdunich. And to be honest, it’s time you stopped, it’s time you packed your shit and retired to go be a veterinarian or snail wrangler or whatever else you want to be..cause honey…a professional wrestler ain’t it..”


Alicia offers a shrug and shakes her head.

”And Dani, Dani Weston. Don’t think I forgot about byou. Even if most of the wrestling world has. When I first came into SCW you were the first big match I had. The first woman who stood in front of me and really showed me the type of competition I was lacking in that other company. See in Honor I had been so dominant for so long winning both their titles and holding them both at the same time I had forgotten what it was like to be pushes. Cause Jessie Salco sure as shit didn’t do it, Crystal didn’t do it and Mercedes Vargas fell to me real quick, but you? You stood in front oif me and offered up the kind of resistance I craved…”

“The kind I needed”

“I was ready to get in the ring with you and let you push me and that you did. You pushed me to my limits, you beat me, you took the SCW bombshells title out of my grasp as we went to unify the titles. And I was happy. I was happy because tasting defeat like that pushed me to be better. And I took the loss, I came back and I beat you. And that is the difference between us Dani. You beat me, I came back stronger, I beat you and your shining light started to fade away. You went from the “most improved” to being an afterthought. You never reached those heights again and slowly disappeared. Only to triumphantly resurrect your career recently by beating Mikah…”

“Another faded star…”

“And how did you celebrate Dani? You called yourself the “queenslayer” and promptly lost to Johanna Krieger, another member of Wolfslair. Wow. The great return. And now you get this opportunity. After coming back and beating Mikah who, lets face it, has seen better days…great. Sorry Dani, you’re running into a fucking bulldozer…all of you are…and I want my goddamn one on one match. And if I have to go through you three to do it…you damn sure better realise I will..”

17
Session 15: Mistakes, I’ve made mine

It is in human nature to try and put the blame on other people. For your own mistakes or ones that were shared. To absolve yourself of any blame or sin is part of the natural human order. Very few people are able to own up to their mistakes as soon as they happen, very few people are able to own up to those mistakes at all. It is who we are to deflect them, to push guilt down and away so that we can live our lives in happy and ignorant bliss.It is only when forced to look in a mirror and see those mistakes for what they really are and the impact that they have had on our personality, past, and future that we try the one thing that should help us in the long run.

Self-improvement.

Deep down, that is what therapy is. Self-improvement. Talking to someone so they can hold up that mirror and force you to look into it and see the reflection. To fix the mistakes of your past and to acknowledge where you went wrong and how you can improve as a person in the future. To come to terms that no one is perfect and that you; in making those mistakes are human. However, that doesn't mean that it is easy. It doesn't mean that we can all have a look at ourselves and acknowledge where we went wrong. It is so much easier to think that mistakes are one-sided, especially in something as complex and complicated as love and relationships.

But what if it wasn't all the other person? What if you got it wrong? And what if your blind faith in your own abilities to process grief is what has led you astray?

”Why do you think your first marriage failed?”

Straight in like that, wow. The question hung in the air for a moment, Alicia thought about it for a moment. So many answers came rushing into her mind at once. He cheated. He pushed her into things that she didn't want. He was manipulative. He was abusive. All of these things were true. All of these things were justifications for leaving. However, there was no one reason behind it. All of them were mixed together and made Alicia question exactly why she left and when. She should have left earlier, or perhaps suggested they go to some sort of counseling. There was one thing for sure in her mind, the relationship was toxic for them both and needed to end.

She groaned, folding her arms over her chest. ”There were many reasons. A lot that I could say. But in the end, Chris was...he was bad for me. I needed to get away.” Dr. Whitlow nodded slowly, writing something down before clearing her throat and looking up at Alicia with a small smile. Alicia felt uneasy like she had eaten something that disagreed with her and she needed to throw up. ”I guess I...I wasn’t good for him either.”

She closed her eyes, Dr. Whitlow leaned forward, clasping her hands together and lowering her voice. ”Why? You can’t analyze his reasons or his actions, but you can your own.” Alicia nodded slowly, taking a deep breath as Dr. Whitlow stood up, moving the pad from her lap and sitting next to Alicia, reaching over to hold Alicia’s hands that had come together, Alicia’s fingers into lacing and moving up almost as if she was praying. ”Don’t run away, you’re stronger than that.”

She shivered, her stomach still in knots but slowly starting to calm down and unravel. Alicia closed her eyes and looked up as tears started to form. ”After Ronnie, I didn’t look for relationships. In Japan, I had a few one-nighters…” She trailed off, remembered how she would push every guy away after they both got what they wanted, stopping before feelings could develop. ”A few of the guys wanted to brag they bagged a gaijin. And I wanted to avoid having any emotions further than friendship. It worked out well. But when I came back stateside, Chris was there and I felt like I needed...someone…”

She trailed off again. Dr. Whitlow squeezed her hand and smiled. ”It’s actually very natural, you returned to a place where you had a negative feeling, regreesing from some of the strength you had gathered.”

Alicia felt ashamed, she was right and she felt it. She remembered feeling like the same awkward teenager. The same sheltered girl who had her innocence ripped from her when she and Ronnie were forced to be together. ”In the beginning Chris was a gentleman, some people didn’t get it, wondering why an aging cowboy was with a twenty something blond. I guess I started getting a reputation even then.” Alicia shrugged. ”Then, slowly he changed, he became convinced I was going to leave, convinced I was uninterested in him. I went out one night, I partied to get away. Then he, he set up a fucking wedding...a shotgun wedding...before I knew it we were married….”

There was disgust in her voice, bile trapped oin her throat as she started to feel a headache coming, throbbing on both sides of her head right in her temples. It caused her to convulse. Thinking of that night. Coming home, seeing the flowers, cheap ones he bought from a gas station, friends and witnesses, but all of them his, none of her family. And the feeling Alicia had in her body from being drunk. ”Why did you go along with it?”

She pulled her hands away from Dr. Whitlow, standing up from the couch and moving across the room, pacing as she raised her hands up and swept her fingers through her long blond hair, tugging slightly as she tried to bury her tears. ”I cheated on him that night.”

The words tasted wrong, like battery acid. Dr. Whitlows’ eyes widened as she put one leg over the other, her eyes were king, her voice was soft, there was no hint of judgment. ”So, you felt guilt?” Alicia nodded slowly, unable to answer. ”You felt forced into saying yes because of something you had done earlier in the night that went against your moral code. You were trying to correct it.” This was a logical response, to an illogical moment.

Alicia swallowed hard and felt her heart pounding, it pushed against the walls of her chest causing her ribs to hurt and expand. For the first time, she was confronted with the reasons why she married him, why she let herself fall into the trap that haunted her for three years of her life. ”Things just got worse, he found out I cheated on him, but instead of walking away he emotionally abused me, treating me like trash, owning me. And I let him do it, till one day I had enough…”

She drifted back, back to Atlanta Georgia. A small house she owned with Chris Cane, her former husband. It was in the middle of August and the summer heat was getting to everyone. Alicia sat outside, her arm in a cast from having her arm broken the month before. Because of her husband messing with the wrong woman. Alicia was ready to leave, to walk away and tell Chris it was over. Until he said those words. Those magic words broke her down whenever he used them. Well you cheated on me

It made her fall to the ground, it made her heart sink and she ap[ologised to him. Again.

It was emotional abuse and manipulation, but Alicia let it happen. She let it happen over and over again. No matter what Chris Cane did, it was always going to pale in comparison to the one mistake that Alicia made in the heat of the moment while being angry and drunk. In these moments she felt and thought she needed him, needed his love and acceptance. Needed Chris to be complete. She didn’t want him to leave as her father did. Or be taken like her sons. If she lost him, what did she have?

So now, her she was, wearing daisy dukes, cowgirl boots, and a white tank top, her long hair flowing from under a black bandana as she picked up the large plastic container filled with water chugging some down, her eyes refocusing on the black jeep Cherokee Chris had bought her. Instead of smiling, she felt angry, frustrated. Why couldn’t she just grab the keys, jump in and leave? Why couldn’t she run away?

It wouldn’t be the first time

And there it was, the reason why she wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be the first time. The truth is, to everyone else Chris was charming. Even Alicia’s mother thought he was great for her. And no matter what she said she knew Barbara would take his side. Blood was usually thicker than water. Not in this family. She was angry again, but this was common. She was always angry, always wanting to just run away. Her phone buzzed, she looked over, a number she didn’t recognize. ”Hello?”

”Is this, Violet Cane?”

Her stomach turned a double punch. Her birth name and her married name. She hated it. ”Yes…” There was silence for a moment, a gasp of shock, almost as if the person on the other end was surprised it was her. Strange really considering they called her number.

”You don’t know me and, I’m so sorry I have to do this but, my name is Kate. And I...slept with your husband Chris.”

”Oh…”

More silence hung in the air between them, Alicia no longer felt angry, she wasn’t even upset or sad. There was nothing as if her heart had stopped beating and her blood stopped pumping. She felt nothing. She was numb, on autopilot. ”I thought you should know, he didn’t tell me, I had to find out when I searched for him….I...again I’m so so sorry.” She started crying, not Alicia, the girl on the other end. Alicia stayed silent.

She let out a deep breath as if finally being able to breathe, think, and feel. Alicia looked over, Chris returned, his black pick-up coming through the gate. ”Right...thank you…”

”Do you need to ta-” click

”I walked out that day, I walked out and then never saw him again, not even when we divorced.” And we were back again right into the good doctor's office. Alicia was still standing, staring at the wall as Dr. Whitlow was sitting behind her on the end of the couch where Alicia would normally lay down. There was more silence between them, it lingered in the air as Alicia had nothing left to say on the matter. The doctor smiled and uncrossed her legs before standing up. She moved around beside Alicia.

Her hand moved up, finding Alicia’s shoulder. ”You did the right thing. You both made mistakes but you were punished continually for your one mistake while he was able to make many and bury you beneathe it.” She pauses and Alicia turned to look at her. ”What he wanted wasn’t love...it was control…”

She moved her hand, Alicia smiled and gave her a nod before exhaling. She had so much to think about, and so much more to go over. Tip of the iceberg is an apt term. But that is for another time…

The Golden Age

”Y’all should just call me nostradamus.”

Alicia’s blue eyes burned bright, her hair flowed down framing her face as her red lips turned upwards into an arrogant grin. She took a few steps pacing forward, then back, her arms moving around behind her back as her hands clasped together.

”Sometimes, opponents just, fall into the net and can’t get out. Kiera did it. Now, before I get into that I feel like maybe I need to clarify a few things. See, this match isn’t just about stopping Keira, this is  about legacy. My legacy. Everyone else stomps around here like they mean something like they are the best but in reality, can very rarely stand up to the pressures and expectations. I have. I already have a hall of fame worthy career in SCW. I already have one involving all the other companies I have been in. I dominated WWH back when that meanest something, I dominated Honor Wrestling in a way that no one. NO ONE. Every saw coming. And then I came here. I shot straight to the top. And I didn’t do it based off nepotism or begging.”

“I didn’t cry for title opportunities like Crystal or Jessie. I didn’t sit back on my former glories in the company, cause I had none, like Mercedes Vargas. I went to the top of SCW because I b]earned[/b] it. I earned it from day one and through my years here I have been in high profile matches and I have beaten the best of the best.”

“I have etched my place in SCW folklore.”

“In fact, my name is already penciled into a future hall of fame spot, if you don’t see it or believe it then you are in denial and have no idea the mark I have left on my opponents, friends, the company and the fans. But, when I lost to Amber Ryan, I said I’d had enough. I’d had enough of being at the top like that because I was feeling as if I didn’t earn it, and that feeling, well it was a betrayal of everything I believed. I believe you earn what you deserve...and at the time I wasn’t sure I earned that. I did everything I could to win and Amber was the better woman on that night.”


Alicia pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath in, slowly shrugging as she tries to calm herself down, ,it was time to get her feelings across and let everyone know. She was not to be forgotten and fucked with.

”I always expressed my need and desire to step back, to go to other divisions and face new opponents and new challenges. I didn’t want to be just known as the world title chaser like Crystal is, I wanted to have my chance at glory in other places, for other titles. But when I saw Keira Fischer-Johnson being HANDED something, again, I couldn’t stand by. So I put my money where my mouth was. All Keira had to do to stop me was win, that’s it. And she didn’t. So, now I have that opportunity. I have the opportunity to become the Internet champion, add a new feather to my cap and to hold the one championship, currently active in SCW, that Wolfslair has yet to hold.”

“That is a lot of pressure, but it’s the pressure that I thrive in, that I embrace and need. That I love and brings out the very best in me. And all I have to do to win, to hold the Internet title is beat Andrea and Keira. And you know, I feel bad for Andrea. Because even though she is a champion, even though she won that title in a grueling tournament and kept it at the same level that Myra did, she is being overshadowed by the clear issues between myself and Keira. And Andrea doesn’t deserve that. She deserves the full attention from us both. And truth be told, it would also be a mistake if Keira and I just focused on erach other. Cause Andrea...well she isn’t someone to be underestimated.”

“I’ll say it over and over again, I don’t like Andrea Hernandez. But that doesn’t mean I don’t respect her. And I thought that maybe, just maybe Andrea would see that, maybe even see the same in me. But that isn’t what happened. In fact Andrea is sitting there trying to spin a narrative that I run from adversity. Really? REALLY? Oh sweet summer chuild. You done fucked up.”


Alicia can’t help but laugh, of all the things she could of said, all the things she could have brought up and tried to zero in on, that was the narrative she ran with?

”I run from adversity. By doing what exactly? By losing to Dani Weston, jumping right back up, destroying everyone in my path and then beating her for the Bombshells title? By Losing that title after Crystal decided to get involved and then coming right back to snatch it up? By beating everyone in my way until I lost it to Roxi Johnson, a woman that wouldn’t even be back in Sin City Wrestling if I hadn’t of put the challenge out there to begin with? Or how about getting my arm damn near ripped off by a psychopath named Bobbie Dahl who I returned, beat, then reclaimed my championship against Evi goddamn Jordan? Tell me how that is running from adversity…”

“Go ahead, I’ll wait. Cause I can tell you right now, you won’t. Not just that but you’ll do what you always do when someone throws the truth in your face. You’ll make shit up. You want to bring up Myra? Really? I wasn’t happy with their decision to out me against her, I still gave her a fight and did everything I could, and when I lost, I picked myself up, I dusted myself off and I continued forward. Like I always do.”

“You can say a lot of things about me, Andrea. I’m arrogant, self-righteous, I’m a bitch, I’m someone who is stubborn as a mule who refuses to let things go. I’m often very angry for no reason and I verbally attack people and maybe take it to far while also not taking some people seriously. When I should. All of those are good points, all of those are things people can pick on. Shit, you can even go real deep and talk about how insecure I am at certain points. But someone who runs from adversity? No.”

“Andrea, I make mistakes, I’m human. You want to say you “own” that shit right? Like when you faced me and I beat you, you realized you let the fear get inside your mind and you changed and made yourself better. But did you really make yourself better? Or have you swung back in the opposite direction?  In fact, I’ll do you one better sweetheart.”


Alicia steps forward, a smile coming across her bright red-painted lips, the black smear on her face that she has worn as warpaint for the last few years is still there, a beacon of pain and determination.

”You turned around and said that I was bringing up things from my past, and you’re right, I do, because I’m proud of things I accomplish, but you ere trying to get the point across that it isn’t who I am now and while part of that is absolutely correct I think YOU missed the point. I still don’t back down from anyone. I lost of Keira twice, once for the title and once in a second match and while the first one, where I lost MY title I took, I internalized and I accepted the second one I just couldn’t. It ate away at me and destroyed my confidence, it angered me to no end. But, I didn’t give up did I?”

“No...I didn’t.”

“Instead I stood up, I dusted myself off and I went right after Kiera, I verbally attacked her and I told her the truth. I told her she didn’t deserve to beat me, I told her I could have broken her if I wanted to and I told her I’d face her again, I even said I would put my fucking career on the line and you know what she did Andrea? She said no. She ran. I was there, I was ready to go and I was ready to put everything on the line. All I am and what I could do in the future here would have been gone in an instant and it wasn’t “rinning:” it was standing my ground. So now here you are, swinging the pendulum back from being intimidated by me, all the way to being arrogant about who I am believing you have me all figured out and it’s a mistake. A huge one...so at High stakes I’m going to take your words, your attitude and your personality and shove them down your fucking throat….”

“Just like I will with Keira…”


The name tastes like ash in her mouth, Alicia breathes in and out slowly trying stil to stay calm despite the fact she was filled with anger and hatred.

”This has to come to an end Fisher-Johnson. This issue between us. See, there was once upon a time when I liked you Keira. I liked you, I liked Roxi and I respected you both. Even if I didn’t agree with certain things you did or the way you acted. I still saw two women who loved this business and who loved being in the ring and even though you constantly act like a pair of oversexed teenagers while you’re in your thirties I still could respect the love you had. Slowly that respect started to disappear. It disappeared for Roxi when she came back top SCW, lost to me and then flat out refused to show me the same respect I showed her.”

“It disappeared for you around the same time while I saw you riding her coattails and acting like you were at the top of the mountain despite never earning SHIT. It only got worse from there Kiera. It just spiraled down and very slowly I came to this clear-headed epiphany. Team Hero never stood for doing what was right. It stood for doing what was right, for you.”

“And that’s fine, there is nothing wrong with being in this for yourself or your loved ones and no one else. There is nothing wrong with not having respect for others you deem under you. But the fact you and that red-haired cunt aren’t honest about it is what really burned me. I showed you both respect and admiration only to have it thrown back in my face like I was undeserving and beneath you both. Roxi and you both have ended my title reigns and the fact it’s a matter of record makes me sick to my goddamn stomach but I still swallowed my damn pride and congratulated you both and said you earned those titles.”

“Titles that you both spat on and lost. Titles that you both took from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and you never, ever admitted it. So you want to sit there and talk about MY ego? Bitch you need to put down your vibrator and look in the goddamn mirror.”


She lets out a growl throw teeth that gnash together.

”Shit, I even called what you were going to say, I said that you were going to zero in on me beating you because of interference. I knew it. I knew you couldn’t strand to admit that you failed again. Failed to stop me, failed to beat me. That match was going on and on and you couldn’t do it. Not to mention, you are all too eager to tout ONE ON ONE matches against me while ignoring other matches where I won and you lost. You want to play the victim, you want me to be the villian of your little soap opera story. You want to act like you’re the one everyone should care about.”

“You are a hypocrite Keira. Just like Roxi, just like Andrea. Hell, just like me.”

“But unlike you all, I can admit it. I can look at myself and say that I’m a bitch, I’m arrogant, I’m insecure and I can still drive forward. While you just sit back and play the victim. You act like everything is against poor little Kiera and you have only failed due to unfair matches, interference or “tainted” moments as you put them. But newsflash…”

“Life isn’t fair…”

“I have gone through enough bullshit ibn my life in and out of my business to know that. But you still live in this magical fairytale land where you and Roxi are some sweet all-conquering happy couple against the world and people are actually “scared” of your dark side and think that Sinn is a real person instead of a thinly veiled excuse for you to be the bitch we all know deep down you are. At High Stakes I’m going to walk into that ring and do everything I can to walk out as the internet champion. And I am daring you to stop me….”

18
Session 14: The Cowboy

”What about relationships?”

Oh no, here we go. One of the most touchy subjects in the life of Alicia Lukas. She looked up, her eyes trailing from the grey carpeted floor of Dr. Whitlow's office straight up to the good Doctor herself who was currently sitting in her chair. One leg crossed over the top of the other, a pen clutched in her right hand and her notepad in her left. The end of the pen moved up and down lightly tapping her cheek. She was unaware of the Pandora's box that she was just about to open. Alicia's heart sank. She knew where this was going and she also knew the type of story she was going to tell, the past that she thought should stay in the past. The issues that didn't matter to her life.Not like the ones with her mother, not like the ones with her children, not like the ones with her father. 

She closed her eyes, her head shaking from side to side as she took in a deep breath and pushed it out laughing behind it. The doctor raised an eyebrow, the pen stopping and moving down towards the pad as she jotted something down. ”There’s...there’s good news.” The words came out with a strong hint of sarcasm and indignation. Spitting with a little bit more venom than she had initially intended. The truth is, the doctor did not deserve that kind of response.Dr. Whitlow had been nothing but great to Alicia she had helped her through everything that she had needed to and the therapy was helping. As much as she fought it and as much as she tried to say that her life hadn't improved, the inner turmoil that had been raging for years had started to slow down.

”Wehn you came back from Japan, did you just meet your husba-”

Alicia's eyes closed as her hand went up. She swallowed, a large lump moving from her throat down to the pit of her stomach as she suddenly felt the need to get up and run. To find a nice quiet area where she could hold her stomach drop to the floor, curl up into the fetal position, and cry. Maybe even throw up. Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked down at her hand, her thumb lightly caressing the area where her wedding ring was. ”I….I was married before Michael.” She coughed to clear her throat. Looking up and pushing her chest out to straighten her back.

Whitlow just gave her a small nod trying to get Alicia to continue. She moved the pen back down writing a few more sentences before giving her a warm smile. ”Life is filled with romance. Some partners come and go from your life. I myself have been married twice.” That was surprisingly calming to Alicia. She wasn't stupid, Alicia knew that other people had been in relationships, she knew marriages failed, she knew people got themselves into relationships that hurt them, that destroyed them, that always played havoc on their mind. But Alicia had made so many mistakes in this regard. And now it was time to face them.

”Well, my first husband…”

She turned kicking her legs up as she lay on the couch. She stared at the ceiling before continuing. When Alicia had come back from Japan she had almost no money. She used a lot of it to get back,to set up a house,to buy a car and get all of her papers organized. Alicia knew she needed to find something, anything. That was when she took up a position with an upstart company, Honor Wrestling. This was going to be great. She thought to herself as the pen was put to paper. Alicia had never performed in her own country before. In front of American fans. Her entire career, her entire in-ring wrestling past was locked to one country, to one style.

But, Honor wrestling was not for the hardcore fanbase who researched people before they stepped into the ring. Honor wrestling was for the casuals. The people who loved to watch Saturday morning wrestling shows, The ones who thought American wrestling was the be-all-end-all of this business. So, her heart started to ache as the president of the company told her, to her face, as she was going to spend some time in their developmental territory legacy wrestling. A smaller company that would run spot shows in the same towns that Honor was in for that week. Against talent that was being brought up from the American independent scene, and house trained athletes who wanted to become what Alicia was. She could feel the anger rising up through the pit of her stomach. She wanted to flip them off, to walk away and go find another company that would properly utilize her talents and her past. 

But she needed the money.

She needed the money to fully set up her life, to get her children back, make sure that she could provide for her boys, and live the kind of life that they deserved and that she wanted. So, she swallowed her pride. And turned up to work. It actually wasn't bad. There were a lot of younger talents there eager to learn and eager to put on great shows and great matches. Eager to claw and scratch and fight for their positions.It was a feeling that Alicia knew all too well struggling in the Japanese dojos. But old habits die hard. After the second legacy wrestling show Alicia went out with friends, or the ones who she thought were her friends now that she had come to a new company. They were all excited knowing that the talents from the main show were going to be there at the same club at the same time. Alicia rolled her eyes as she got out of the cab with some of the other female talents. The way they acted drove her completely insane. No respect for the business, barely any respect for themselves.

Then again, they all got dressed up for the occasion. Wearing skimpy dresses, tight around the athletically toned bodies. High heeled shoes, their hair all done up. Alicia on the other hand stepped forward, her long blonde hair was down and brushed but not done in any special way with any kind of product. She wore a pair of tight acid-washed jeans, black and red converse, and a vintageMetallica master of puppets T-shirt. They got inside the club, the music pounding. The kind of music that Alicia hated, the kind of electronic bullshit that sounded like two Transformers fucking, and one of them had some kind of rust induced sexually transmitted disease

They all approached the bar. A tray of shots slid across in front of them. They all took one raising it into the air and downing it. They didn't even know where the shots came from. Every single one of them looked like they were about to throw up after taking it down. Everyone except Alicia. The whiskey moved smooth down past her throat. She shook her head with a smile before throwing her arms in the air turning to order herself another drink. But before the words could come out of her mouth,a southern accent and a deep voice boomed in front of her. ”What ys drinkin sweetheart? Another shot of courage?” She turned, pivoting on the balls of her feet as she came head to chest with a very large, very muscular, very hairy looking cowboy.

Chris Cane.

He was a 6 foot 4, marginally talented professional wrestler who had been around the world. One who had never really caught on and become a star but who had always found constant work in some of the biggest companies around. He looked just as out of place in this club as Alicia did. His long brown hair was half tied back and half left down, a bushy beard,a pair of torn jeans, cowboy boots, and a red and black flannel shirt with a leather vest thrown over the top. Alicia raised an eyebrow with a laugh. ”You bought those shots. Didn’t ya?’

He laughed putting his hands up and giving her a small nod. ”Guilty as charged. Had to see which one of you ladies could really drink” Have he flashed her a smile, surprised to hear her southern accent. He was from Tennessee, she was from Georgia. Their accents were different but at the same time had a familiar twang to them. Alicia shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. She looked him dead in the eye with a confidence that seemed to be unmatched.

”Well, you know I can drink. Now what?” She added a little sass to her statement. Stepping back on her right foot and keeping her left leg out as she raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. Chris was over 10 years her senior. Alicia was 23 years old, the cowboy was 36. She was still young and naive despite spending so much time in Japan and living alone and having to grow up fast.

Chris slammed his hand on the bar. Getting the bartender’s attention he moved his and pointed down. The bartender almost seemed like he read the cowboy's mind. Pulling up a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses. ”Now we’re gonna see if that first shot was a fluke or if ya the real deal.” He poured them each a shot. Alicia turned up her nose and flared her nostrils snatching it off the bar and downing it before he could even think about taking his. She slammed the shot glass on the bar with a smile. ”Well now, looks like we got ourselves a drinker!”

Chris explained it loudly. Other members of the roster were there. The other girls from legacy all looked disgusted by Alicia drinking the shot in spending time with the other wrestlers without them. She turned her head smiling at Chris who smiled back. She was happy to have the male attention. Happy that someone was looking at her as more than just the silly American girl. Someone caught the corner of her eye, she turned and smiled to see Alex Jones. She wanted to go over and say hello, she wanted to ask him how he was going and if he was the one who put her name forward for Honor wrestling. But, it seemed as if Alex was busy. In some kind of argument with half of the ownership of the company, his wife Ana Valentine. Alicia swallowed turning to pick up the new shot that had been poured for her.

She was going to have some fun.

”You bonded with him….”

Whitlows’ voice cut through the haze. Alicia opened her eyes and gave a small nod before pushing off the couch and turning her legs to the side to face whitlow. The doctor finished writing a few lines on her notepad. She reached up and took her glasses off before leaning forward. ”I should have told him to stick those shots right up his stupid redneck a-”

”Alicia…” Dr. Whitlow raised her hand. Alicia swallowed hard stopping before she could finish the sentence. Still, the anger bubbled up, remembering what happened as their relationship developed and went on. She still wasn't over it, still wasn't over what happened and what she went through. After surviving Ronnie, after traveling to Japan and forging her own path. She came back to America and ended up with someone like him. And it still pissed her off. ”That was the start, in the beginning he was there, he gave you attention and understanding. Not even sure of the path it would take you both…..you can’t blame yourself. But….you can go home, think on this...and then i want you to come in tomorrow...we’ll continue.”

Alicia took a deep breath, she closed her eyes as she felt her thumb running area where her wedding ring was again. She let out the breath and gave a small nod before pushing up to her feet. She moved towards the door and stopped taking a moment before grabbing the door handle. ”I hope I’m ready for this…” She pushed through the doorstepping out into the hallway as Whitlow shook her head

”Me to...me to..”

Triple Threat.

”Two and zero aye?”

She couldn't help but laugh shaking her head. Alicia loved to bring up stupid things that opponents had said in the past, she loved to let the words linger out there for a moment before taking them and slamming them right against the faces of people who could not fathom the talent that she had.

”How did that work out for you Keira? You know, we’ll get to that in a little bit. Butbefore thatI just want to stop and breathe and think about thesituation that I am currently in. A triple threat match for the bombshells Internet championship.This division and that title is new ground for me. I think people forget that since I've been in this company I have just been at the main event level. I walked in as a world champion and that's where I stayed.I walked in as the most dominant champion that Honor wrestling had ever seen, only to repeat the exact same feat here in Sin City wrestling. Do you people realise that? Do you remember that? Because it seems like so many of you have forgotten what kind of person I am and where I have been in my career.”

“Everywhere I go I have dominated. Everywhere I go I win championshipsand I proved that I am the best professional wrestler in the world.I have had record breaking titlebrains where I have run through the entire roster. Yet people just sweep it under the table. Just under the rug throw it back down who cares Alicia doesn't matter.”

“It seems like people have to take notice of that now.I have been coasting in this company for too long, complacent with the opportunities that I've been given.I've said it before and I will say it again I would rather earn an opportunity.And that's what I did here. I earned this opportunity.I needed to re discover that fire and over the last couple of weeks I feel like I have.I have slowly started getting back to being the Alicia Lukas that terrified most of this division for a year. .A year where I won the championship, lost the championship, regained the championship, and then made damn sure everyone knew where I was supposed to be.”

“I'm ready to face a new challenge. A new division and a new championship.A new set of records that I can attempt to break and a new championship to try and make synonymous with my name.”


Her lips curl up into an arrogant smile. Her arms pulled over her chest as she stays focused on her goals and her opponents. Her heart lifting up as she feels anger running through her veins.Not just confidence, pure anger.

”And it’s another championship to bring to Wolfslair. It is the only championship that we as a collective have never held. Alex and Austin have been the world champion, Alex has been the roulette champion, Austin the Internet champion on the mens side, Johanna has been the Roulette champion and all three have held the mixed tag team titles. And of course I've held the bombshells world championship.The Internet title is the only one that we haven't added to our collection. The only one that as a collective we have not been able to get and add to the list.It might seem like something small and petty, to look at the group I'm in and realise that there is one championship missing off ourcombined group of accolades.But if you don't think that is a carrot dangling in front of me that I want to chase? Then you don't know me very well do you.”

“Think about it. All the active championships in Sin City wrestling and a member of our group would have held all of them at one point or another.Has there ever been a collective group so dominant in this business before? Certainly not in the modern era.I want to grab that championship not just for myself, not just because it is a new challenge for me and because I have records to break and I can call myself a champion again but also to prove just how dominant we are. Every few weeks someone who is facing one of us will sit there and try and run the entire group down. Talk about how Wolfslair is no longer the force it was.”

“Completely ignoring the titles we have held, are holding and will hold.”

“Every few weeks we prove them wrong. And now is my chance to do it againAlex and Austin are preparing to defend their championshipsand I am preparing to get my hands on one.But to do that, to be able to call myself the bombshells champion and to be able to climb that new mountain, to stand on top of it and know that I have a tonnewalked path in front of me,I have to beat two women. The current champion Andrea Hernandez,and the perennial challenger that every single championship who likes to run her mouth and never shut the fuck up Keira Fisher- Johnson.”


Alicia sneers and shakes her head, Keira’s name making her blood boil with anger and frustration.

”One of these things is not like the others.You see, as much as I have differences with Andrea, she strikes me as someone who is actually worthy of being a champion. Andrea got her hands on that bombshell's championship and has been eager to prove her worth.I wish this had been a one-on-one match. I would love to face Andrea one on one again. Back when Andrea first burst onto the scene in Sin City wrestling she was going on a tear. Destroying everyone that she came in contact with.Legends, nobody's, rising stars, no one was safe from Andrea Hernandez.I was impressed. But I also wanted to beat the living hell out of her.I was the one who stopped that run of dominance. I was the one who was able to beat Andrea as she was going through her run of destruction.”

“But,like a real champion she picked herself up dusted herself off and reinvented herself.She faced the best of the best and has become one of the main names in this company.A true main event star and a bombshell that everyone should watch whenever she is on screen.I'm not going to sit here and try and take that away from her. I'm not going to sit here and rundown all of her accomplishments like I'm some kind of idiot who can'tgo back and research history.I know Andrea is a threat, I know Andrea is the current champion and I know Andrea is going to do everything she possibly can to keep that championship around her waist and stay the bombshells champion for as long as she possibly can.I get it, I do.It is hard for anyone who is a current champion to picture themselves losing a title.”

“And full disclosure I don't like you Andrea.”

“The thing is, I don't have to like you to respect you.I don't have to like you to acknowledge that you have been a great champion and that you have been one of the best in this company.That is the thing that people seem to get wrong. They think they can only giverespect to people who they actually like.That isn't how it works.I don't like you, but I can respect you, I like Amber Ryan I like what she stands for and I respect her. Whether I like someone personally or dislike them has no bearing on how I feel about their professional accomplishments and whether or not they are a positive in this business and our company.I can admit you are a positive in the sin city wrestling bombshells division and you are a champion that deserves to have a spotlight.”


She flashes an arrogant smile keeping her arms folded over her chest as she adjusts her stance to push her shoulders back and her chest out.

”And that is part of the reason why I did what I did. I saw an injustice happening before my eyes. You being forced to defend your championship against someone who is substandard and should not be given title opportunities.Someone who never earned the right to face you.I took issue with it. I took issue with it and I got booked in a match where if I won I would be addedto the bombshells title match at High Stakes. Now,do I agree with you getting involved? Of course I don't. But since your little interference worked in my favour.I'm gonna allow it. However you need to realise that without me in this match people wouldn't give a crap about it. People would just think that Andrea Hernandez was about to walk in and walk out the champion with absolutely no challenge in front of her and she wasn't going to earn that defence on her record.There was no danger of you losing that championship to Kiera.”

“I added that danger. I added that intrigue and I added that question.I have made your championship defence at the biggest show of the year matter. So, if I can admit that you are one of the best champions that this company has right now, if I can admit that you are a positive for this division and this business, then you need to look me in the eye when I get in that ring, come forward, and thank me, thank me for making this match relevant. Because without me this match would just be Andrea Hernandez kicking around a fucking paint can for ten minutes.”

“And lets be honest, we’re already going to see Amber Ryan doing that with Crystal and Keiras wife, and Krystal Wolfe doing that to Char Kwan, don’t you think ONE of the womens title matches deserves to actually be competitive?”


She pauses with a smile, a shrug, and a pause for an answer that will never come.

”Even though Keira will always believe she is what makes something competitive. See the truth is that she and I have done this song and dance time and time again. She’ll tell you, one on one she has beaten me twice. Twice. Once for the title, she’ll crow about it, she will throw it in my face till the end of time just like I will always say she should never have beaten me the second time. THE SECOND TIME. I never said Keira didn’t deserve to beat me the first time. In fact, I have said time and time again that I was rooting for her. I was rooting for Keira to beat me, to take the SCW Bombshells title and have a long reign that mattered.”

“I wanted her to realize that dream that she had because I foolishly thought Keira Fisher Johnson would pull her big girl pants up and be a champion we could all respect and admire who would make the title mean something. But Keira will tell you all what she believes and what she hears and considering we’re dealing with a woman who lives in a delusional world of her own making we need to take what she says with a grain of salt.”

“I know exactly what Keira will say, I know what she will try and get across. She will smile at you all, play the victim and play up the “team hero” bullshit, trying to get you all on her side and paint me as the villain.”

“She will say she didn’t expect to get the internet shot, that she was simply being herself and Mark and Christian rewarded her for that. Maybe even bring up my failures despite the fact my failures are more meaningful than her successes. She will sit there and talk about how the only reason I beat her and the only reason I’m in this match is because of Andrea. Which, is a fact. A fact that is largely irrelevant.”

“For two reasons.”

“One. How many matches have you and I won and lost due to other people’s interference? How many times have titles and things changed hands because of it? Yeah it sucks and I would have rather won off my own efforts, but imagine if Andrea succeeded in what I believe she wanted to do and cost me the match? Would you shed a tear for me Keira? I think not. Because you are exactly what I have said you are. A fucking htypocrite.”


She points towards the camera with a chuckle.

”And reason two. You failed to beat me. You failed to beat me one on one a third time. So now, well, now you’re stuck with me in this match. You’re stuck with me trying to take that Bombshells internet title away from you just like you took the SCW Bombshells world title from me. I am in this match to make sure whoever walks out with it earns it, whether that is Andrea or me. I will make sure to keep that title Andrea has to walk through hell…”

“And I will make sure Keira doesn’t get her disgusting waste of space hands on it. I will make sure she doesn’t turn that title into a laughing stock just like she did my precious Bombshells world title.”

“I already tried to make Keira earn it, to earn what she wants and to stand up like a real champion, but instead of listening to me and accepting that I’m right and she needs to be humble she spat in my face. So now, I’m taking every opportunity she is being handed.”

“At High Stakes, I am beating Keira Fisher Johnson, I am beating Andrea Hernandez. And I will be the NEW Sin City Wrestling Bombshells Internet champion.

19
Climax Control Archives / Session 13: Empty Mirrors
« on: October 13, 2021, 06:00:34 AM »
Session 13: Empty Mirrors

”You never talked about the boys…”

There is a reason for that

Alicia thought it to herself. At this point, she knew better than to say something like that. All it would do is set the Doctor off on a path of probing and prodding. And in the end, Alicia would break down, she would tell Dr. Whitlow exactly what was on her mind, how she felt, what she thought and they would try and see something positive in it. But Alicia had enough of the song and dance. All of this was weighing on her. Her career, her personal life. So much had changed since she started therapy.

Talking through her past and all the issues she had and everything that weighed on her heart seemed like such a positive. But in the end the more she found out about herself and her choices the more her heart hurt.

And this was something she wasn’t looking forward to sharing.

Every failure in her life, whether it was as a wrestler, a daughter, a sister, a wife, or human being. None of it came close to the p[ain, guilt, and sadness she felt as she confronted her shortcomings and mistakes as a mother. Failures that she knew she had to confront, that she had to be honest about. Her hands clasped together as she took a deep breath in, Dr Whitlow giving Alicia a moment to compose herself.

While Alicia had learned about her Doctors process, Dr Whitlow had also learned when to push Alicia and when to give her space. ”It took alot of work…”

Dr Whitlow gave a small nod of understanding, her eyes showing her usual patience and compassion, she had been able to prove to Alicia over the last several months that she had empathy for her situation and history. She never judged her, she never made Alicia feel like a bad person, despite everything, all her mistakes and decisions throughout her life from a teenager to a young adult, Dr. Whitloe had never made her feel like there was no forgiveness or redemption. Or that she had made the same mistake multiple times.

”What was it like? Seeing them for the first time when you returned?”

Normally Alicia could hold the tears back, at least till she got back to her car, or back home. But this time she just couldn’t. She couldn’t hold them back or stop them. She felt one roll down her cheek, followed by a second. And before she knew it they flowed. ”They didn’t…” She couldn’t get the words out. She sat forward her head in her hands as she heard her own heavy, staggered breathing.

She didn’t recognize them. They had grown so much. From the toddler and baby, they had been to the small children, looking so much like her. Heads full of blond hair, blue eyes, and sweet smiles. Alicia’s heart fluttered and beat so fast. She couldn’t believe it. It had been almost three years. She had seen pictures of them, sent ones in return for them to see. But they had not done the boys justice. Rory and Ryan could walk and in Rory’s case talk. He was almost five years old. Ryan, his younger brother was three and a half. He had been just six months old when Alicia said goodbye.

Leaving in the dead of night to escape their father. But here she was, a court-mandated visit.

The judge giving her time to get to know them before a final decision was made. But the last few minutes had seemed like hours. Then, she heard them. Children’s laughter, voices. Alicia‘s ears picked up, her eyes move right to the door she anticipated than coming in. She remembered being so nervous that her hands were shaking, her entire body started to tingle as she wanted to get up and run towards the door. But she needed to stay calm, she needed to keep in mind that they were still children. The door clicked, her mother stepped in followed by Rory And Ryan.

Alicia took a sharp breath in as her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She stood up, putting her right hand over her heart keeping her left at her side. She took a few breaths trying to calm herself down smiling at her mother who smiled when we back. One of the few times that Alicia had seen her mother smile at her and actually mean it. The boys looked up at her, she smiled even wider.

Alicia stepped forward and reached out, Rory moving across and standing in between Alicia and his little brother. He looked confused. Scared. Intimidated.

Alicia’s heart sank to her stomach. The weight of the situation weighed heavily on her shoulders and her heart. They didn’t remember her, they didn’t recognise her. To her children, her sons, she was a stranger. Even though she had sent photos back they didn’t know who she was or why they were there. She swallowed hard and looked up at her mother, Barbara shook her head and stepped back giving them space. Alicia to stepped back and slowly lowered herself down to their level looking at both of them.

She smiled as warmly as she could. Her voice lowered to almost a whisper staying soft and kind. ”Hi. I’m…I’m Violet.”

Her birth name felt horrible coming out of her mouth. But it is what she needed. She bit her bottom lip, Rory stayed in between her and his younger brother but he stepped forward, tilting his head and slowly reaching out. He was thinking, studying her. Assessing her body language and trying to understand who she was. He was a smart boy, bright blue eyes just like hers.

She closed her eyes and took a sharp breath in. ”I’m your mother…”

There was silence, Apollo is in anything that Alicia wanted to say. She does not want to overwhelm the boys, and Rory, his face remained blank. His eyes moved up and down before finally saying something. ”Our mom is dead…” he turned and walked away, taking his younger brother by the hands they want to go and play with some of the toys that Alicia‘s mother had bought for them.

She took a deep breath, holding in tears. Her mother moved closer coming to her side. ”If I wanted to see them…their father made me promise to go along with it….I’ll talk to them.”

Alicia had no idea what to say. She understood why her mother did it, she understood the risks that were involved. But that didn’t make it any easier. Her mother went over to talk to the boys, Alicia keeping her distance as she sat in a chair in the corner of the room. Watching them play while she tried to explain what had happened. Alicia wanted to walk over, she wanted to hold them, she wanted to tell them how sorry she wasn’t how much she loved them and how much they meant to her. But she couldn’t.

That would have to wait.

”I can’t imagine how much that would’ve hurt. It must’ve been very painful for you.” Her voice was empathetic, Dr Whitlow reached over and put her hand on Alicia’s. Alicia gave a slow nod taking another deep breath in. This time she had nothing else to say, nothing to wrap up in a little bar, nothing to make herself feel better or open the door for the doctor to make her feel better. This time it was just a painful memory. One that has etched itself in her mind and stayed fresh.

Fueling her determination.

Earn it.

”Does Anyone believe that I’m happy with my place in the company right now? But I’m happy with my performance as in what I’ve been able to accomplish over the last couple of months?”

Alicia step forward, the arms folded over her chest as she looked straight down at the ground. The long blonde hair flowing down her back and shoulders.

”I am still one of the best in this company and I still have a record that reflects that. Am I as dominant as I have been in the past? No of course not. I have not been able to re-discover that file I had. I have not been able to step in this ring and mow through opponents like a hot knife through butter like I did for the first two years of my career in sin city wrestling.”

“The question is, have I lost some of what made me special? Or, have others in this company stepped up and finally become the challenges that I wanted them to be?”

“Truth is, I just don’t know. I don’t know if I’ve lost a step or if they’ve gained a step. I don’t know if this is all in my head or if it is genuinely true. I don’t know if there is a reason. All I know is that I wanted to earn my way to a championship match. Earning things, you are going to notice a running theme while I stand here and talk to all of you about earning things. Because there seems to be a serious lack of respect for the pecking order and actually earning what you deserve.”


She is clearly angry. Her body language, her tone that she has in her voice with every comment she makes. The fact that the last few lines were spoken through gritted teeth

”I wanted to earn that shot at Amber and the bombshells world championship. I wanted to get in the ring with Amber again and see if I could in fact beat her. You see she is the measuring stick of this company in the women’s division. She is the bombshell of bombshells. I have no problems admitting that and I’m not going to sit here and say that I am the best. One of the best? Of course that’s never going to change. But the only person in this company who has the right to say they are the best in the world is Amber fucking Ryan.”

“And now, well now she has a pair of challengers in front of her that she is going to be able to run over the top of. You see Amber is most likely going to have to face both Roxi and Crystal. You see I had Mercedes Vargas beaten. I picked her up I dropped her across my knee and shoved that knee right through her face. I was with in seconds of earning a championship match against Amber Ryan. High-stakes, the biggest show of the year, the best in the world the current bombshell champion against the woman who set the standard for what a bombshells champion should be right now.”

“That is the match that should be happening. But instead we get a challenger who won’t be much of a challenge and another one who Amber spent the better part of three months beating the shit out of.”

“Wow”
Alicia slowly applauds. ”In-fucking-credible

She shakes her head obviously still furious of the situation that is standing in front of her.

”I have to standby and watch Amber go ahead to break all of my records and I’m robbed of an opportunity to attempt to stop her as well as get that championship back and prove that I am the best. Don’t get me wrong there is no hate towards Amber Ryan if anyone is going to break my records then I’m glad it will be her.”

“But, after watching two others rob me of that chance I turn up to find that Kiera Fisher-Johnson is getting handed…fucking HANDED an opportunity.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised.”

“That family gets handed everything. I handed her wife a championship match, and she failed. Only for both of them to stick around since city wrestling like a bad smell for the next couple of years. And because of that they’ve both been champions. Both of them taking that championship off of me at various points. I’ve given them a better life, I’ve given their son a better life. And what is the thanks that I get for making them stars. For agreeing to face them despite the fact that they never earned a goddamn thing? My prize is to have to sit back as not only one of them goes onto challenge for a championship, but the other gets one handed to her.”


There is an exasperated sigh followed by Alicia throwing her hands in the air. A shake of her head, it’s hot coming from her lips. She chuckles to herself before turning back towards the camera pointing her finger with an arrogant smirk

”Now, I don’t want you people to get confused into thinking that I don’t think people should get championship matches. I just want people to earn that. Now, a match against me would definitely go far in earning something. But the problem is that if I win, I get added to the match. Kiera doesn’t need to worry because if she loses she still has her opportunity. She won’t be taken away from her.”

“But this match isn’t just about me getting an opportunity by earning it and showing Kiera that she needs to earn it to. No that’s not all. There is this myth that she is better than me. This myth that Kiera, in one on one matches just for some reason has my number. This myth needs to end.”

“Because, The fact that she has beaten me twice one on one makes me sick to my stomach. And normally I can absolutely respect it. I can respect those who have gotten in that ring with me and shown that they are better. I respect Amber Ryan, I respect Dani Weston, I respect those who could get in the ring and go to war with me and prove that on that night they would be better. But the problem I have is that Kiera Fisher-Johnson is not better than me.”

“She never has been.”

“Yet there is all this evidence to the contrary. And it is very slowly driving me insane. Some might think that it is a weakness to admit that she’s in my head. That I sit there and obsess over this and it’s eating me alive from the inside out. And sure you can go right ahead and use that Kiera.. You can sit there and comment on it and you can act like everything I say and do is a slight towards you and I’m not going to lie some of it is”


She offers another shrug. Completely unfazed by this.

”The problem you have Kiera, Is that it just makes me more dangerous and more determined to destroy you. And you have also shown your hand. I know I’m in your head. See you showed me your hand for a second that you took offence to things that I was saying and straightaway went on social media to throw a tantrum about it and start talking about how I was never going to have another match with you. You ran from me, you hid from me, you complained and whined and cried like a fucking child.”

“Did Nate give you pointers?”

“I got angry and upset because you beat me when I knew I was the better woman on that night. I got angry and I wanted to face you again and instead of getting that opportunity right then and there, you ran like a bitch. Some hero. But now, you don’t have a choice. Because you do not call the shots, you are not in charge and you, well, you just don’t have a big enough name that allows you to call your own shots. Christian and Mark know who makes them money. And the name of that person is Alicia Lukas.”

“So get ready, get prepared. Cause when this is over Andrea Hernandez will have a bigger problem on her hands than you…”

20
Climax Control Archives / Session 12: Motherly Love
« on: September 23, 2021, 10:26:04 AM »
Session 12: Motherly Love

”What was it like? Seeing her again after so many years?

”Honestly? Painful.”

Dr. Whitlow’s voice was familiar, calming, soothing, and what Alicia needed. But the setting wasn’t any of these things. They were at a small coffee shop across the road from Wolfslair. The doctor wanting to see where Alicia spent most of her time. Looking over everything, meeting the other members of Wolfslair, and conducting an interview with Alex. They seemed to talk for hours but it was only minutes.

Afterward, Dr. Whitlow smiled politely, excused herself, and they both walked across the street to get a drink and sit down. They were away from prying eyes, sitting on a pair of old-style metal chairs, touched up and painted white with blue cushions fixed to them. A circular glass table between them with a teacup in front of Dr. Whitlow and a coffee in front of Alicia.”You came back, she didn’t come to pick you up, to see you back in America and face to face? Alicia shook her head from side to side with a heavy sigh. ”Did she regret it? Did you tell her how it made you feel?”

Silence between them, Alicia staring ahead, wondering how she could describe what happened that day. Or even if she should.

Alicia swallowed hard and looked over at Whitlow with a shrug.”I don’t think it mattered how I felt when I came back. I know I had something more important nto do. Get my kids back.”

Whitlow sipped her tea and agreeably gave a small nod, understanding where Alicia was coming from but there was doubt there. Doubt that Alicia was telling her everything, or even believing what she said. Whitlow crossed her legs, placing her hands on her knee, she smiled warmly and moved back against the chair. ”You mean to tell me, after leaving the country, going to Japan, changing your life and career and then returning after two years you and your mother didn’t have it out?” Whitlow raised her eyebrows. She knew there was something. Moments that Alicia had pushed down.

”Yeah, I guess I can’t really push something like that to the side like it didn’t matter.” Alicia scoffed and gave a small shrug taking a sip of coffee before clearing her throat. ”I went...home…”

The cab came to a stop outside the large gates Alicia remembered from just a few years ago. She would see them almost every day growing up. Coming home from school and pushing through them with her younger brother and sister in tow. Her black backpack felt heavy across her shoulders as the cab drove off, leaving her there to stare at a place she once called home. Her hand moved up and grasped the metal bar against the wall, her fingers moving behind to click the release and push it forward. Stepping through felt like a defeat, it ate at her heart, mind, and soul. Each step up the pathway towards the door got heavier and harder. Coming to a stop at the base of the stone steps, her eyes closed.

She moved up to the door, she didn’t want to press the button, she didn’t want to go inside. But, she had to. She was forced to under these circumstances.

She wanted to get her sons back, to go to war with Ronnie for custody of them. But, to be successful she needed her mother. She needed her resources and everything she knew and felt. To win this war, she needed Barbara Ann Lukas. After a sharp inhale and exhale she worked up the strength to do it, pressing the intercom. A buzz informed her that she was being looked at, evaluated by the camera. Before she could say anything the door clicked, unlocking as Alicia shook her head and pushed it open moving inside.

The foyer had changed. New artwork, new banisters up each side of the center winding staircase. When Alicia had left, when she had been handed off to Ronnie like some kind of teenage door prize at 16 years old this place had been falling apart. Barbara was unable to repair the house with no money. But everything looked new. Repaired, restored, and stronger than Alicia had ever seen it.

”Impressive isn’t it?” Barbara’s voice broke her concentration, Alicia turned and gave a small nod as her mother moved around her, coming to a stop next to her, between Alicia and the door. ”My husband does well”

Husband?

Alicia’s head snapped sideways, a raised eyebrow. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. ”You got remarried? You didn’t sa-”

”Would you have come if I did? What makes you think I would have wanted you there.”

That one hurt. A shot of pain into Alicia’s heart as her mother turned and moved away,l across the foyer to the doorway leading into the parlor. Alicia followed moving into a room where her mother tried, in vain, to turn her into a society lady. Where Alicia wore frilled dressed, large across the bottom, tight on top, where her long blonde hair was always down and done in different ways. Now, she stood in a pair of tight black jeans, tears on the knees, black converse, and a white vintage Japanese wrestling shirt. Her hair was messy and tied in a bun.

This wasn’t the same girl who hated being in here.

”You look..good” Her heart sank, small talk and what was worse? Good meant terrible. And Alicia knew it. She looked away before sitting down on the edge of the small red couch, her legs spread as she placed her elbows on her knees and leaned forward. ”Oh Violet, sit like a lady...I taught you better than that…” Her words were full of bass and authority. Alicia swallowed hard and as if on instinct she crossed her legs, straightened her back, and pushed her chest and chin up. And in an instant, all of her confidence and strength that she had gained over the past few years seemed to melt away. This felt wrong, it was wrong. ”That’s better. Now, we are going to see Ronald and you will work out a deal with him where we can still see the boys. You will apologise for-”

”Apologise?!?”

Alicia narrowed her eyes, confused, angry, and hurt. Barbara folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head sideways looking her daughter up and down. ”For leaving the way you did...really Violet, what did you think would happen?” Alicia was in shock, staring at the floor as her mother stepped forward and shook her head. ”You abandoned your sons, you walked away from a relationship that was going to take care of you and your family...really Violet I-”

”Alicia…” Her mother went to continue, to explode at her. ”My name, is Alicia...and I am not going to apologise for walking away from that..”

”Walking away from a stable life? A RICH HUSBAND?”

She couldn’t take it anymore, the anger rose from the pit of her stomach and Alicia was on her feet face to face with her mother, a snarl on her lips as her voice dropped deeper. ”From a man who almost drove me to fucking kill myself…” Her mother stopped, instead breathing heavily as Alicia paced back and forth shaking her head, she turned back to Barbara, lifting her arm to shot the small cut she had started to make before being stopped that fateful night. The scar still visible, a reminder for Alicia and how she felt. ”A man who degraded me, hit me, abused me. And you...you want me to apologise for having the strength to walk away? Are you serious?”

She shook her head, throwing her arms in the air, backing up as she reached down to grab her backpack, throwing it on and moving towards the door. Then, a voice from behind her stopped her. ”I’m sorry…” Alicia stopped, raising her hand and placing it on the door frame. ”I didn’t...I didn’t know. Or realise it was that bad…” She let out a large sigh, her body relaxing. Barbara sat down looking across the coffee table at the couch. ”We can.,...we can talk about how to fight this….please” She took a deep breath in and pushed it out turning on her heels, her mother was serious, sincere, and heartfelt.

”She apologised? She didn’t know?”

Dr. Whitlow raised her eyebrows, Alicia finished her coffee and just gave a small nod. Dr. Whitlow looked surprised and finished her tea. Alicia laughed to herself and shook her head. ”I know….weird right? I always believed she knew, or saw something. But..ya know...when people are so involved with themselves, they don’t see what is right in front of them…”

Flo-rida and Disney

”Well, isn’t this just the happiest place on earth?“

Alicia steps into frame, her hands in the front pocket of her jeans as she turns and looks up at the tower of terror behind her. One of the landmarks at the Disney World resort in Florida, where sin city wrestling it’s about to hold climax control.

”Disney World, such a fitting place for me to once again establish my dominance over this entire division. To secure my championship shot against a woman who has been just as dominant as I was in a very short amount of time. You see, I am actually excited about this match. The last few that I’ve had, I haven’t really felt it. I haven’t had it in my heart that I’ve wanted to do it. You see, you might think what I did to Ruby was some kind of landmark in my career. A glass tables match, I dropped her through it and approved once again that people like her cannot and will not come close to people like me.”

“I refuse to apologise for my actions. I refuse to apologise for what I did to Courtney Pierce and I refuse to apologise for what I did to Ruby. They both had it coming for different reasons.”

“You see, Courtney tried to take one of my moments and make it all about her. She tried to come out and steal that little bit of spotlight that was on me. And when I refused to allow that to happen and I refused to just sit back and let her steal it from me, you all booed. You all acted as if I did something so horrible that I could never come back from it. A simple broken bone for her, but a statement by me.”

“So many of you thought I was done, that I was coming out to say goodbye, to wave, tell you all that it was a fun ride and that I appreciated the support and love that I had gotten, and walk away. but instead what you have been getting is a more focused and vicious Alicia Lukas. And Ruby paid for it. Ruby is the one who had to deal with a new and focused Me, she is the one who had to feel that pain feel that anger with what I did to her girlfriend and then what I did to her.”

“But, that chapter is over. I broke Courtney‘s leg, Ruby tried to get her revenge and failed, Case closed. Next chapter.“


She pauses for a moment, the impressive visage of the tower of terror looming large over the top of her as she takes her hands from her pockets and folds them over her chest.

”But, what is that next chapter? What is the next step for me in my career in sin city wrestling? Well, it is retreating a path that I have walked down before. Announced for the very next climax control that is happening here in Florida at Disney World is a fatal Foreway match. The winner of this match gets to go onto high-stakes, our biggest event of the year and challenge for the bombshells championship. The winner has a date with Amber Ryan. A woman who has been so dominant and made that championship mean something again.”

“And indeed a woman who has beaten me one on one for that very championship. A championship that I have held three times. Yes, I am a three-time champion. Something that most people including myself remember yet somehow the company forgot. Apparently I’m only a two time champion and while that might seem like me nitpicking the truth is that if someone takes something away from you that you earned? It kind of pisses you off.”

“So, how do I rectify that? Well going into this match and beating three Hall of Fame names while then going onto face Amber Ryan and becoming a full-time champion is a damn good way to rectify it don’t you think?“

“That is what I have to do. I have to go into this match and beat three sin city wrestling Hall of Fame stars all of whom I have beaten at least once before. But no pressure right? No pressure on me coming into this match is the only one who isn’t in the Hall of Fame facing three women who quite obviously hate my guts and want to do everything that they can do to stop me from getting that for the championship. But there is the problem, stopping me from doing anything that I want to do is a goddamn task and you just need to ask anyone who is faced me in the ring to get an answer.”


Alicia pauses for a moment with a smile on her face. She tilts her head to the side and paces back and forth a little.

”And before I get to those three women that I’m going to be facing this Sunday night, I want you all to sit back and visualise what will happen if I beat them. Or when I beat them. It would be a rematch at the biggest show of the year between Amber Ryan and Alicia Lukas. Minny would say that I am the last woman to actually push Amber into deep waters. And that’s what I would do with her. She and I have it so easy a lot of the time. Sure, some people challenge us, a lot don’t. Like the Barnhardts and Salcos of the world can’t really step in the ring with us.”

“But, while Roxi would try her hardest, and Crystal and Mercedes would fail miserably against Amber, I would do something that all three of them cannot do. I will drag Amber down into deep waters, and I will drown her with everything I have.”

“But before that can happen I do need to beat the other three. I need to face three women who have gone to war with before. And in Roxy Johnson, there is a woman who could win this match, you could beat me, and she could do it with her skill and her experience. Not look like the other two, Johnson could actually do it because she is good. Dam but before that can happen I do need to beat the other three. I need to face three women who I have gone to war with before. And in Roxi Johnson, there is a woman who could win this match, he could beat me, and she could do it with her skill and her experience. Not look like the other two, Johnson could actually do it because she is good. Damn good…”


Alicia nods slowly and has an intense look in her eye as she steps forward.

”However, with that being said about her, I can’t ignore the fact that Johnson already had so many opportunities to beat Amber. They had a few that lasted months. They fought back and forth putting on a clinic after clinic and I will admit that Roxi did everything she could to beat Amber, Roxi pushed Amber to the limit and she looked like she could beat her every single time they faced one another.”

“But, in the end, Amber went on to become the champion and Roxi has been bouncing around teaming with her wife, trying to clutch onto relevancy while doing the same tired bullshit team hero stick that she’s always done. The same lie about being a hero when in reality she is a shallow human being in capable of caring about anyone except for herself. And that includes her idiot wife.”

“And what’s worse? Her hypocrisy also comes to championship matches.“

“You see, women like crystal and Mercedes constantly hound for championship matches. Roxy acts like she doesn’t. I didn’t ask to be in this for way, I didn’t ask to even have a championship opportunity, I would’ve been happy going about destroying the rest of the roster before getting an opportunity but I got put in that match because of what I’ve done and what I’m capable of. I’ve seen Roxi talk about re-focusing on going for that title over and over again until she finally has got her wish there she goes talking shit about Mercedes and Crystal doing the exact same thing. And as I said, while Johnson had match after match with Amber, I’ve had one. One match. And the rematch would be something truly special and I refuse to let Roxi Johnson rob me of that.”


She yells the last part, pointing at herself talking through gritted teeth. The intensity and anger in her eyes as she stares forward are evident.

''Speaking of people who are special, well, that’s not Crystal is it? She is someone who has never truly got the idea of professional wrestling in making herself special. A woman who spent so long being a failed actress that she has completely forgotten what sincerity truly is. It’s funny though, while she was a failed actress in anything that she would do of note as far as that profession goes in professional wrestling she’s been able to be a brilliant actress, acting and lying to her wife, acting and lying to her friends, the rest of her family and also you fans.”

“Someone who lies about her motivations and somehow gets people to believe her, getting J2H on her side to go and try and win and fail at winning the mixed tag team championships. Crystal is a brilliant liar and actress. Just not in a TV show or movie. But you can’t argue with her success in the ring because she has the accolades and accomplishments to prove it. She has been a multiple time world champion, but, she’s never been someone to elevate that championship. She’s always won the championship and then dragged down to pits of irrelevancy.”

“She did it recently, winning the championship of Roxi’s wife, and then promptly making it mean nothing.”

“And we really want her to try and get another shot where she’s going to fail, why? Why would we want to watch Amber Ryan completely break and destroy Crystal Zdunich? Why would we want to see that? And why would we want to validate someone who constantly bags and pleads and talks about championship matches and title shows that she hasn’t heard by getting her into a match where she could get shot? Or then letting her go onto face Amber and get a championship match that again, she didn’t earn. Crystal is a leach, she is a leach on this business she’s a leach and her family she is a leach of her friends and I’m sick of her. So I’m going to make it a personal mission to make sure she doesn’t get close to that championship.”


Alicia tries to calm herself down, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before holding her arms back over her chest.

”The exact same as Little Miss Mercedes Vargas. And the truth is that you could really into change everything I’ve said about Crystal about Mercedes instead except for the wife parts. And also I guess the friend part considering Mercedes doesn’t have any friends. But everything from the lying and the bullshit and the begging for title shots and trying to stay relevant? That is Mercedes all over. You are talking about a woman who likes to tweet out everything from past shows to anything a New York team ever does but never says anything worth a damn. She never says anything that gets people excited about her matches or excited about the shows.”

“She loses matches and then never turns around and says a goddamn thing about them, she never shows passion for the business she never shows passion for any of the matches that she’s in. And when someone like me who loves his fucking business so much and loves her career ends up being pissed off about something she ends up trying to make it about her and says that that person is “thin-skinned”…are you kidding me?”

“What means more Mercedes? Someone getting angry about losses or passionate about wins? Or someone like you who seems to get passion from nothing. Someone like you who seems to ignores 99% of what happens in the company and the business because instead she would rather focus on herself and focus on trying to bake to get championship matches and focus on the things that she did 20 years ago?“

“You really think that you’ll be able to beat Amber Ryan? Mercedes you don’t belong in the ring with Amber Ryan.”

“So instead, you get the fourway with the three of us. I would like this could really remake your career. He could make you relevant again. More relevant than you’ve been in the last couple of months while you’ve been slumming  it down in SCU the same as Amy Marshall. When things get too tough on the show that matters you should go down there. I turn up and make an appearance to give him a little rub, you turned up and decided to stay there because you actually thought it was going to help your career. How the fucking mighty have fallen Mercedes. But, I’m gonna make you fall further.”

“I'm going to do this to earn my championship shot at high-stakes and Amber Ryan. I need a big win I need this for my career. I came back and I have fought for everything I’ve gotten and I’ve been continually put down spit on and made to feel like shit because I actually love this business. So, the three of you have a very simple job. Try and stop me, because it is going to take all three of you.“


Alicia turns and takes one more look at the tower of terror, she laughs to herself shaking her head before turning and walking away.

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