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Climax Control Roleplays / AM I WRESTLING CURIOUS GEORGE?
« on: August 12, 2022, 01:25:23 PM »
AM I WRESTLING CURIOUS GEORGE?

Narrator:  Every time I have the pleasure of speaking with Bill or Bea Barnhart before they go on the air to present their comments for their upcoming match I’m amused. This time it was Bea, who is facing Georgie Robertson at Climax Control 339, who made fun of her opponents, Georgie Robertson by stating her opponent seems “curious” so she has nicknamed Georgie Robertson as CURIOUS GEORGE!

BEA GETTING THINGS OFF HER CHEST

The scene shifts where we get a shot of Bea Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at the Netaji Indoor Stadium located in Kilkata, India, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 339. Bea is not in her normal wrestling attire for her presentation of her comments. She is instead wearing blue jeans and a black pullover shirt. The camera person informs Bea they are live broadcasting so she begins her comments.

Bea:  Before I launch into comments to tear down my opponent. . .Curious George. . .I mean Georgie Robertson. . .for Climax Control 339 I need to get a few items presented to show you what’s going on in the world.

THINGS HAPPENING TO BEA’S FRIENDS

Bea:  The first item is about my friend, Teresa, and her son who is in his 20’s and they live near us in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He was at a gas station to get gas for his car and he was approached by a criminal who demanded his wallet and the keys to his car. Teresa’s son managed to get away from the thug and get in his car and he started to drive off but the criminal still managed to shoot him. We think he was hit in the neck or head and Teresa told me it is likely her son would end up paralyzed. I know what some of you think. You think when this happens you should just cry and shake like a coward and hand over your wallet or purse and car keys to the criminal. People who tell you to do that believe if you do that the criminal won’t harm you. Yeah. . .Right!!! Ask yourself what if Teresa’s son had given his wallet and keys to his car to the criminal? There is a 90 percent chance the criminal would have still shot him after gaining possession of the wallet and car. So my advice is to never cower from people and to stand up and take control of the situation.

Bea sighs. . .

Bea:  My other friend, Amy, has two children. One graduated from Berkmar High School in Lawrenceville, Georgia, for the 2022 class. Her other daughter just started Middle School in Lawrenceville. On Thursday, August 4, 2022, she was apprehended by Gwinnett Police with the claim that she had an outstanding Warrant on file for failing to show up for her court case for Divorce from her abusive husband. This man is the father of her daughter in Middle School but not the daughter of her 18 year old daughter who just graduated High School.

Bea sighs again. . .

Bea:  Here’s the deal. Yes there was a Warrant issued during her divorce case against her husband. The Warrant was only in place to ensure she shows up in court on the date the Divorce is to be decided upon by the presiding Judge. Toward the end of 2020 Amy and her husband came to an agreement to drop the Divorce process in the Court and work things out through counseling. What that meant is that since the Divorce case was no longer in place then the Attorneys on both sides of the case should have contacted Cherokee County, Georgia, to inform them that since there is no longer a Divorce case pending that the Warrant to appear for the Judge’s ruling on the Divorce is no longer required and has been cancelled. Well. . .f*ck. . .nobody remembered to tell the Court system in Cherokee County, Georgia. Amy’s Attorney, and her husband’s Attorney, both failed to take the action necessary to cancel this Warrant since there is no reason to show in Court to hear the decision on the Divorce case when the Divorce was dropped by both Amy and her husband. This meant that Amy was arrested for violating the warrant for failing to appear for her Divorce case but the Divorce case was cancelled over a year ago and was not active for her to show up for it. Amy spent three days in custody in the detention center for failing to show for a case that was cancelled over a year ago. How stupid is that eh?

Bea sighs again but this time she rolls her eyes. . .

Bea:  Want to know what the worst part about this is? It isn’t that Amy is divorcing her husband. It isn’t that Amy has two children to take care of. When I bailed Amy out of Cherokee County Detention Center, at a cost of $1,200 that I withdrew from my bank account, you would have thought Amy would be so damn happy to be out of the Detention Center that she would have thanked me for bailing her out and she would have told me she will pay me back quickly. Nope! She didn’t thank me for bailing her out. She didn’t mention that she’ll ensure she pays me back for the $1,200 I used to bail her out. She didn’t do or say anything that showed she appreciated what I did for her getting her out of Jail on Bail. Yep. . .nothing at all from Amy! I assure you two things. She damn well better pay me back quickly or the next time she gets arrested I won’t bail her out as I’ll leave her to rot in jail!

Bea gain lets out another sigh. . .

BEA TALKS TO GEORGIE ROBERTSON

Bea:  Georgie you’re probably wondering why I told you the two items about my friend’s son getting shot and my other friend, Amy, getting arrested and I bailed her out. I told you because you need to know that you, and most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling, are like that thug who tried to steal the wallet and car from Teresa’s son then he shot him when he tried to get away from the thug. You’re a bunch of lazy jerk asshole fools who want to steal stuff from other wrestlers. You want to try to get around the rules to get cheap wins. You’re in for a rude awakening against me Georgie I don’t do stupid dog tricks like ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD as you’ll find out on Sunday. As for the other incident of Amy getting arrested, me bailing her out, and she didn’t even thank me for what I did for her, that’s an example of how you and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling are. You all lie, cheat, and steal, then you all condemn wrestlers like me and Bill who work hard in the sport and achieve our success due to our hard work and dedication.

Bea takes a deep breath then continues with her comments. . .

Bea:  So you are my next opponent who is a Brit  named Georgie Robertson. The first thing that came to my mind was Curious George the Monkey. I’m expecting to see Georgie Robertson walk around the corner followed by The Man with the Yellow Hat. Maybe you can hire a Manager who dresses like The Man with the Yellow Hat eh Georgia? Ha ha ha!!!

Bea cannot help but laugh at her comments.

Bea:  Well, well, well, I get to face a Brit wrestler named Curious George. Okay. . .her name is Georgie Robertson. . .so f*cking what. Regardless of what I call you, Georgie, you remain a joke in my eyes. Coming into this match we’re even on height and weight with me being five feet five inches and one hundred thirty pounds and you being five feet six inches and one hundred thirty-three pounds. It appears you like to consider yourself as cocky and that’s expected because most Brits are cocky, sarcastic, and stupid. I also reviewed your move set listed and I got so bored I fell asleep several times. I kept reviewing your move set but kept dozing off from boredom and waking up to continue reading your nonsense.

A CALL FROM CAMP BOW WOW

Bea’s cell phone rings and she checks the caller ID and it says the call is from Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where Iris, her English Bulldog, is boarding.

Bea:  Please excuse me for a moment while I take this call. I need to make sure Iris isn’t having a problem. Since I’m don’t hide stuff from everyone else, like the majority of my opponents do, I’ll place the call on speaker so you can hear the conversation.

Bea answers the call and begins to talk with Edwin who is the Manager of Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bea:  Hi Edwin! I’m surprised I’m getting a call from Camp Bow Wow. Is Iris okay? Is there a problem?

Edwin:  No, Bea, there’s not a major problem. Iris is okay and she’s eating and playing with the other dogs in boarding, but she seems a bit depressed and sad.

Bea:  Well that’s most likely because me and Bill are on tour in India wrestling for Sin City Wrestling and Iris misses us. We will be back in a few weeks and Iris will be okay. But I do have a possible solution. After our call I’ll text you the number of Senor Vinnie who is our friend and fellow wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. He will give you the number of where his friend, Pete the Cactus, is being taken care of and you can call them and if Pete isn’t too far away from Lawrenceville, Georgia, you can ask if they can bring Pete the Cactus to Camp Bow Wow to have a play date with Iris. For sure that will perk her up. And if Pete the Cactus is too far away to make the trip to Camp Bow Wow then ask them to set up a video call on the computer so that Iris can have face time on video call with Pete the Cactus.

Edwin:  Okay, Bea, thanks! I’ll do all I can to keep Iris happy and perked up.

Bea ends the call and returns to looking into the camera to present comments concerning her upcoming match.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Sorry about that. I apologize for the distraction but the well-being of Iris is important to me and Bill. I’m happy Iris is okay except that she misses us. Hopefully Camp Bow Wow can get Pete the Cactus to either show up and talk with Iris or at least talk to her via video call.

Bea:  Thanks for allowing me to talk with Edwin at Camp Bow Wow so he can help Iris chill out until me and Bill return home from this Tour. So, Little Miss Georgie Robertson, what are you thinking? Okay. . .okay…sorry for asking you to think as I know that people who have little pea brains like yours that thinking makes your head hurt. So since you now have a killer headache due to me asking you a simple question I’ll take the position of answering what I think you’re thinking. You probably think I’m going to be an easy match for you but that proves you aren’t thinking. You’re thinking irrationally and not logically but it is still the same thing that you’re not thinking about me standing opposite the ring in our match. You’re probably thinking that I’ll be easy to take out. Again you’re not thinking logically or  intelligently. You’re probably like all the other mindless morons who follow-the-leader in claiming that I did something I never did. If you’re one of them that means I need to kick the bullshit out of you then kick some common sense into you. Perhaps, Georgie, you think you can call on your friends to come to the ring to interfere in our match so you can get a cheap win. Good grief girl! Do you even have one honest logical thought in your head? I’m not buying the hype people are putting on you. I’ve seen those like you come and go dozens of times. Talk talk talk is all you do and the saying goes that talk is cheap. When Sunday, August 14, 2022, rolls around you can no longer hide behind a camera and talk shit about me. All the talk ends on Sunday and that’s when I put you in your place which is in the corner where I sit you and tell you to shut the f*ck up or I’ll beat more crap out of you some more. Think what you want Georgie. Feel what you want Georgie. No matter what you think or feel I win this match and I move on and move up in the rankings. I sure love over-confident opponents because they tend to make rookie mistakes which is unforgivable in this sport. You know what? I hope you have a nice few days leading up to our match. After I hurt you in our match and hand you a loss there’s going to be way less nice days in your life.

<font color=whiteBea informs the camera person she is done with her comments so they call into the Network to ask them what they want them to do and the Network informs them to cut their camera feed and the Network will return to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


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Climax Control Archives / LACHLAN KANE WILL NEED A CANE AFTER OUR MATCH
« on: August 04, 2022, 06:24:11 PM »
LACHLAN KANE WILL NEED A CANE AFTER OUR MATCH

Narrator:  Bill has a match coming up for Climax Control 338 against Lachlan Kane. Bill is looking forward to this match, as he does for all his matches, and he is ready to discuss his upcoming match with you.

The scene switches to the broadcast studio in the Kanteerava Indoor Stadium in Bangalore, India. Bill is sitting at a table to give his comments on his upcoming match. He is casually dressed in blue jeans and a pink pullover shirt. When the Manager of the broadcast studio informs Bill they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

GREETINGS TO IRIS

Bill:  Bea is not in the studio with me today as this is my air time to present comments for my match at Climax Control 338 against Lachlan Kane. Before I launch into my comments I wish to greet my English Bulldog, Iris, who I hope is watching this broadcast at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where she is in boarding until we return home from this tour.

Bill clears his throat then he gets ready to give his presentation.

BILL’S HISTORY IN TWO PREVIOUS WRESTLING FEDERATIONS LEADING UP TO SIN CITY WRESTLING.

Bill:  Before I launch into comments directly to you, Lachlan, I want to give you a bit of information on how I am as a wrestler. I’ll take you back to when I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance then to my time in Sin City Wrestling.

Bill takes a drink of water before continuing with his comments.

Bill:  When I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance, which is the Wrestling Federation where Goth was the Owner, I was a multi-time Grand Slam Champion. I was also one of the most successful Hardcore Champions in the history of that Federation. When Asylum Wrestling Alliance decided to close their doors I moved to another Wrestling Federation. I was also successful holding  Championships there. My major achievement in that Wrestling Federation was winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to claim the Championship for any length of time as the owners of that Federation went belly-up financially and closed close up shop. Even though I didn’t have a chance to defend that Championship due to that situation the Record books show I was their last World Heavyweight Champion.

Bill again takes a drink of water before he continues.

Bill:  When they closed up shop I signed on with Sin City Wrestling. I’m honest that I expected I would win all the Championships available to me in a short period of time. Nothing changed in my wrestling. Nothing changed in my desire. The only thing that changed is that I went from two Wrestling Federations that had very good talent to Sin City Wrestling that has great talent. Maybe I took the other wrestlers lightly and it cost me by missing out on obtaining numerous Championships.

Bill breaks to stretch and then he continues with his comments.

BILL’S HISTORY IN SIN CITY WRESTLING

Bill:  The bottom line is that I kept looking forward, I kept moving ahead, and I kept my determination to obtain Championships when the opportunities came my way. Then, on October 23, 2021, I earned the Roulette Championship. That brought us to Climax Control 326 where I held the Roulette Championship for six months, and during those six months I successfully defended the Roulette Championship three times, but at Climax Control 326 I lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan. I have no regrets and nothing has changed in my approach and attitude toward wrestling.

Bill flashes a smile into the camera.

BILL VERSUS LACHLAN

Bill:  Hi Lachlan. Did you miss me? Have you been wondering where I’ve been? Did you hope something happened to me or that I forgot we were having a matc?Not sure why you would waste your time and energy looking for answers to those questions. You need to remember that Satan came after my soul and I defeated his sorry ass so he can never challenge for my soul again so do you honestly think you’re able to take me out? Did you honestly think I went into hiding because you haven’t heard comments from me for nearly a week? Ha ha ha! I’m always the one to be in the face of others so that line of thinking by you is bullshit. Never in my wrestling career have I turned away from a match and refused to participate in the match. Never in my wrestling career have I backed down after a match started. I’ve been in more horrifying, terrifying, violent, and life-threatening matches than everyone on the Sin City Wrestling Roster combined. I’m still here asshole! I’m still going to take you out and dump you in the trash dumpster to be ready for the next trash pickup. Remember that if Satan was unable to intimidate me and take possession of my soul what gives you the right to claim that you can intimidate me and destroy me? Yeah! That’s what I thought!

Bill lets out a hearty laugh before continuing with his comments.

Bill:  Let me start by letting the viewers know that we have no history in the ring against each other. It appears this match is designed to create a history between us. I see you held the Mixed Tag Team Championship which is something me and Bea have also done. But that’s where the similarity in the wrestling history for us ends. You have not obtained, then successfully defended, the Roulette Championship for six months as I did. Yes I finally lost the Roulette Championship but I lost it to a young man who has already proven he can overcome adversity and be a great Champion.

Bill against pauses to drink more water and clear his throat.

Bill:  I have been informed that your style of wrestling is a combination of Technical and speed while my style of wrestling is Technical and brawler. Since we are even on the Technical aspect of wrestling what that leaves us is your speed against my ability to destroy you. Remember there is a saying that goes that YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE! and that will come into play during our match. You may also think that your speed might allow you to get in and land blows on me and give you the speed to get away before I can retaliate. Oh, Lachlan, if I had a Dollar for every opponent who thought that, and I taught them they were wrong, I would have hundreds of Dollars.

Bill glares into the camera.

Bill:  Okay, Lachlan, what’s the bottom line of our match? Other than I’m winning and you’re losing I’d like to bring up a few items. There’s two terms that come into play in our match. One is REACTIVE and one is PROACTIVE. Being proactive means you plan ahead to ensure everything goes the way they are supposed to go. Being reactive means you wait until something happens and you try to counter it with your reaction to the situation. Here are a few examples. When driving if you are proactive you plan ahead so you know where you are going but if you’re reactive you just drive along thinking you know where you’re going then you get lost and waste time trying to find your way to your destination. If you are reactive you might see a swimming pool and run toward it and jump into the air to execute a dive only to find out the pool has no water in it. However if you are proactive you check the pool to ensure it has water in it before you take that dive. In the sport of wrestling if you’re reactive you spend the majority of your time on defense while your opponent beats the crap out of you with their offense. If you’re proactive you spend the majority of your time on offense beating the crap out of your opponent. I hope that was simple enough for your little pea brain to understand. HAR HAR HAR!!!

Bill takes time to get her laughter under control before continuing with his comments.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  Oh, Kane, what else can I say that will ensure you understand you are about to get a hell of a hard beat down by me and you’re going to lose this match? I guess my words are either meaningless to you or you don’t give a damn what other people do or say or what they are capable of in the wrestling ring. If you haven’t figured out yet that this match is going to be your demise at my hands. It will be like a lightning strike hitting you. Just as with lightning, where you see the flash before it is several seconds before you hear the thunder, so my attacks on you will be. You won’t see my blows coming but you will feel them. Then, like with lightning, you won’t hear the sounds for several seconds. Then again if I knock you out you won’t hear anything for a time. I don’t care if you have a fan base larger than mine or that you think your fan base is larger than mine. I don’t care if you think your wrestling abilities are better than mine or you think your wrestling abilities are better than mine. I don’t give a damn about anything you think or do. I enjoy wrestling and I enjoy destroying opponents. My hope is that you, as my opponent, enjoy getting destroyed as much as I’ll enjoy destroying you. I sure hope you have a good time leading up to our match because after I leave you crumpled up on the mat, with my hand raised in victory, there will be no more good times for  you. I’ll enjoy beating you down so hard that you, Lachlan Kane, will be using the assistance of a cane to help you walk for weeks after our match.

Bill informs the Manager of the Broadcast Studio that he is done with his comments. They acknowledge this and the cut the camera feed and return to regularly scheduled programming.


3
THE BOMBSHELL INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE MINE

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has put up with a lot of insults, false accusations, and stupidity, from the rest of the Roster. Now, at Climax Control 337, Bea is in a multi-wrestler match to determine who the next Bombshell Internet Champion will be. I don’t even need to mention this, but I will anyway, that Bea is leaving this match as the newly crowned Bombshell Internet Champion.

RECKLESS DRIVERS, STUPID PEOPLE, AND A KAREN ALSO

The scene changes to a video of incidents Bea Barnhart has had to endure recently. These incidents happened in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and the Network is presenting these videos to show you what Bea has to put up with all the time. We see Bea driving in her Hyundai Palisade to go shopping at Kroger and Wal-Mart near her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We watch as Bea isn’t even out of their housing development when a reckless driver nearly hits her car. She flips off the ignorant driver then she continues to Herrington Road to go into Kroger. Again there is a reckless driver that cuts her off while she is trying to turn into a parking spot. Bea goes inside Kroger and shortly she exits Kroger so she can to go Wal-Mart to pick up some items that Kroger doesn’t have.

Bea:  So damn many reckless and inconsiderate drivers recently in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Reminds me of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who are reckless, inconsiderate, and accusing.

Bea arrives at Wal-Mart where she parks and goes inside. The camera person follows her as she shops for the items she needs. As Bea goes to the self checkout lane the woman in front of her obviously doesn’t know what the hell she is doing. This reminds Bea of the majority of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who also don’t know what the hell they’re doing. The woman at the register keeps inserting various credit cards and ATM cards and all of them are being declined. This is apparently due to her not having money in those accounts or, if she’s using an ATM card, she is entering the wrong PIN number.

Bea:  Excuse me! If you are having issues with your credit cards and ATM cards at the self checkout could you please take your items over to the regular checkout lanes to allow the Wal-Mart employees to properly process your purchases. I need you to move so I can get my purchases home and put away.

The Woman We Will Call Karen:  What? You don’t tell me what to do! You’re an Asian and I don’t take crap from Asians! What the hell do you know compared to a White woman like me?

Bea:  *yelling out loudly so everyone in the store can hear* News flash! We have a KAREN at Wal-Mart who is stupid on how to properly use the self-checkout machine and she’s also racist against Asians. Nice going Karen!

The Woman We Will Call Karen:  How do you know my name is Karen?

Bea:  Oh. . .just a lucky guess. . .Now either move your items to a regular checkout lane to get a Wal-Mart employee to help you check out or I’ll forcibly move you!

The woman, Karen, hails a Wal-Mart person who takes all her items to their register where they still can’t get the items paid for since this Karen has no money in all her financial accounts. Bea quickly scans her items then brushes past the Karen to leave the store and go home ensuring she flashes Karen a sarcastic grin of satisfaction her way out of the store. This infuriates Karen where she starts hurling insults and racist comments against Asians again to which Bea politely replies with a middle-finger salute. Bea gets to her Hyundai Palisade and take off to drive home.

Bea:  Too damn many ignorant, insulting, and racist, people in the world. Glad I was able to leave that Karen in Wal-Mart to deal with her stupidity. Damn! She’s probably so damn stupid that she forgets to wipe after she take a crap.

Bea arrives home and the camera person gets out of her car and they cut their camera feed.

AT THE HOTEL IN JAIPURI, INDIA

The scene shifts to the hotel in Jaipuri, India, where Bea and Bill are staying for Climax Control 337. The hotel is not far from the Sawai Mansingh Indoor Stadium where Bea will participate in a six wrestler match to determine who the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion will be. Bill and Bea are sitting at a small dining table near the kitchen area. Bea has her laptop computer on and she and Bill are doing something but we don’t know what they are doing yet.

VIDEO CALL WITH IRIS

Bea:  Hi and welcome to our hotel room in Jaipuri, India. I’m getting ready to defeat five pathetic opponents to become the next Bombshell Internet Champion but first we’re going to have a video call with Iris to see how she’s doing with boarding at Camp Bow Wow. Although Iris is in boarding at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, I made arrangements with the Manager, Edwin, to allow Iris to conduct a video call with us. There’s Iris on the computer video call now! HI IRIS!

Bill:  Hi Iris! How’s my baby girl?

Iris doesn’t appear happy to see Daddy Bill and Mommy Bea. This is probably due to her not liking having to be in boarding at Camp Bow Wow rather than being at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Iris gives a grumpy look and sad eyes as she lets out a snort of complaint.

Bea:  I’m sorry we had to put you in Camp Bow Wow for boarding while we’re participating in wrestling events in India. We couldn’t risk you getting harmed on the trip so at least we know you’re safe and loved there at Camp Bow Wow.

Bill:  Come on Iris. Give a smile to Daddy.

Iris is grumpy, which is understandable, but when she turns her back to the camera and sulks it breaks the hearts of Bill and Bea.

Bill:  We’ll be home soon and then you’ll be back home in your own bedroom. Until then enjoy being spoiled by the staff at Camp Bow Wow.

Bea:  Iris you know the television show CHEERS where, that when Norm walks into the bar, everyone yells out NORM!!! right?  Remember, Iris, that every time you enter Camp Bow Wow all the Counselors in the room stand up and yell out IRIS!!! so that proves you’re loved. I know you miss us, and we miss you, but we can still give each other a virtual kiss since we’re on a video call. Come on Iris! Give Mommy and Daddy a kiss!

Iris turns around facing the camera and she licks the camera and the image we see on Bea’s laptop computer is totally blurred due to Iris slobbering on the camera.

Bea:  Thanks for the virtual kiss Iris! We love you! Bye!

Bea ends the video call with Iris. Bill leaves the table to go on the couch while Bea moves moves the laptop computer to the side of the table then she takes a position where the camera person can get a good shot of her as she comments on her upcoming match. Bill didn’t want to get in the way of Bea’s presentation for her match.

TIME TO ADDRESS MY OPPONENTS

Bea:  Now comes the time when I get to talk to my five opponents. We’re in a six wrestler match to determine who becomes the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion. We all know that person will be me. But I guess I still have to explain that to my five opponents as I don’t believe their mental comprehension skills are working at higher than a moron level. To be fair to my opponents I’ll address them alphabetically, by their first name, so that nobody thinks they’re more special than the others because they were mentioned before the others were mentioned. Once again you’ll find me to be direct and honest in my comments.

Bea holds one finger up.

Bea:  Ariana I start with you because your first name starts with A. We have no history against each other in the ring. Both of us are coming into this match not having experience against the other. However before you get an attitude and think I’m easy to eliminate from this match let me tell you what you’re in for. The way to eliminate an opponent from the match is to toss them out of the ring where both their feet touch the floor. It will be easy to eliminate you as you will find out.

Bea holds two fingers up.

Bea:  Next I come to Kayla Richards. From what I’ve seen of you I’ve come to the conclusion that you are a pathetic piece of crap wrestler who has to resort to underhanded and sneaky attacks on other wrestlers to try to inflict damage on them. It seems extremely pathetic that you have to resort to that crap because you don’t have the wrestling abilities to back up what your mouth is saying. Don’t worry Kayla as I’ll eliminate you quickly in this match so you won’t have to endure the humiliation of the fans taunting you over your pathetic wrestling during the match. Of course for weeks after our match the fans will continue to taunt you for your pathetic performance in our match.

Bea holds three fingers up.

Bea:  Now to you Keira. I know you have a somewhat impressive record here in Sin City Wrestling. I also know that somehow you’ve managed to avoid having a match against me. I wonder how that happened Keira. Did you run to Management and tell them you are afraid to wrestle against me? Did you pay them bribe money to keep them from assigning you to a match with me? I don’t have the answers to those questions as only you can answer them. When you step into the ring at Climax Control 337 and I eliminate you then all your questions will be answered.

Bea holds four fingers up.

Bea:  Now I come to the only wrestler in our match that I have respect for and that is Seleana Zdunich. Seleana you may be asking yourself why I respect you and that’s a good question. The reason is that I’ve had three matches with you and you defeated me in two of those matches. In the third match you pinned someone else for the win in a multi-wrestler match. I admire your work in the ring. I admire what you’ve accomplished. Of my five opponents in our match you’re the one I want most to eliminate to prove I am what I claim I am. It is a pleasure and honor to face you again.

Bea holds five fingers up.

Bea:  Now I finish up talking to Tempest. You’re not last in my comments due to me thinking poorly of you so don’t go there. I stated up front that I was addressing my five opponents by where their first names land alphabetically. So, Tempest, we had one match, which was a Mixed Tag Team Championship match, and your team got the win when you pinned me. That was well over a year ago so if you think I’m the same wrestler I was back then you’re only deceiving yourself. I’ve come a long way and I have no problem tossing you out of the ring and ensuring both your feet touch the floor so you get eliminated.

Bea claps her hands then gives a stern look into the camera as she continues with her comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Having five opponents in this match is interesting and fun. You simply cannot focus on just one wrestler while ignoring the others. If you do that you end up failing to eliminate the wrestler you are trying to eliminate but at the same time you can have someone come up and eliminate you. It’s an interesting situation where you have to be focused on the wrestler in front of you and the other wrestlers who are behind you or next to you. I’ve discussed this match with Bill and he’s been working with me to ensure I have great ring presence, that I don’t allow myself to be ganged up on by the other wrestlers, and that I quickly eliminate my opponents by sending them to the arena floor where both their feet touch the floor for the elimination.

Bea raises her arms into the air in a victory pose.

Bea:  I have every intention of winning this match and being crowned the Bombshell Internet Champion. I have five opponents who have the same intention so this match is going to be a combination of fast, furious, hard-hitting, aggressive, and punishing. The bottom line is who the last wrestler standing is in the ring when the other five wrestlers have been eliminated. That last wrestler standing in the ring will be ME so get used to calling me Bea Barnhart. . .Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Internet Champion!

Bea laughs loudly.

Bea:  With six wrestlers involved in our match that gives each wrestler a 16.6 percent chance of winning. When one is eliminated and I’m left with four opponents each of us then has a 20 percent chance of winning. When me and three others wrestlers are remaining that gives each of us a 25 percent chance of winning. Then when it comes down to me and two other wrestlers we each have a 33.3 percent chance of winning. And then, when it comes down to me and one other wrestler we each have a 50 percent chance of winning the match. Ha ha ha!!! Who are they kidding? If my five opponents feel they have anywhere from 16.6 percent to 50 percent chance of winning they are deceived. From the instant the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match I have 100 percent chance of winning!

Bea gain bursts out in loud laughter.

Bea:  I feel it is great that the other opponnets in my match are taking me lightly. After I win the Internet Championship they will all be taking me seriously and demanding a shot at my Internet Championship!

Bea tells the camera person she is done with her comments and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


4
Climax Control Archives / ALEXANDER YOUR PAYMENT IS DUE
« on: July 20, 2022, 09:17:55 AM »
PAYMENT IS DUE

Narrator:  I had a discussion with Bill Barnhart before coming on the air to present opening comments to you. Bill is fired up being in the Main Event against Alexander Raven for another chance to become a two-time Roulette Champion. Bill told me he has several items to talk about before talking to directly to Alexander Raven so let’s get this party started!

PROTECTING IRIS

The scene opens in Bill’s hotel room located near the Sandar Vallabhbhai Patel Indoor Stadium in Mumbai, India. We do not see Bea or Iris which makes us wonder where they might be but we’re sure Bill will let us know. Bill is sitting on the couch and when the camera person gives him the signal that they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

Bill:  I have several comments to get out of the way before I inform Alexander Raven why he’s losing the Roulette Championship to me and I walk away as a two-time Roulette Champion at Climax Control 336.

Bill holds one finger up.

Bill:  The first item is why Iris is not with us on this trip to India for this tour. I heard that the people in India, like those of Korea, consider dog to be a delicacy. Since Iris is plump I felt it wouldn’t be right to risk her life bringing her on this trip to India. Iris remained in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and she is boarding at Camp Bow Wow there. Iris will miss her Daddy and Mommy but she has to realize her safety is more important than her traveling with us on this tour.

NO SPEEDO

Bill holds two fingers up.

Bill:  The second item is that even though my two recent Speedo incidents brought enjoyment and thrills to the fans Management has decided not to put me on the billing at Bill “Speedo” Barnhart. They said they will only use Bill “BULLDOG” Barnhart. Nothing like a wrestler having a bit of fun, thrilling the crowd, and making the other wrestlers jealous. But since Management controls the Federation I respect their decision and move on.

BEA AS MY MANAGER

Bill holds three fingers up.

Bill:  My third item to discuss is Bea. Bea is on this tour with me but she is currently taking a nap in the other room as the flight was long and she wanted to rest. We are both going to miss Iris but we will be fine and so will Iris. Bea asked me to let you know that she will be at ringside during the Main Event as she is my Manager. She said for me to remind everyone that she no longer carries a spray bottle of perfume with her when she is serving as my Manager. Bea also said she hopes the Roulette Wheel will stop on a type of Roulette Rules match that allows both Alexander Raven and me to go all out, fully within the rules, and the winner, me of course, doesn’t have their win tainted by controversy.

SHORT BREAK

Bill informs the camera person he will take a very short break to get something to drink. When Bill returns from his drink break he again sits down on the couch to continue with his comments.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ALEXANDER RAVEN

Bill:  Well, Alexander, I now turn my comments to you. Most likely you won’t like what I have to say but I don’t give a damn what you like or don’t like as I’m here to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, regardless of whether you like what I have to say or not.

Bill grins.

Bill:  Raven you have to admit, and you cannot deny it as you’ve stated it many times yourself, that your record in wrestling isn’t stellar. . .it isn’t great. . .and it can barely be classified as good. You’ve admitted numerous times that you were the cause of your failures in the wrestling ring. I will give you credit that recently you managed to stay focused on your matches and end up with a few wins and you were successful at Summer XXXTreme X at defending the Roulette Championship. But we know how you are Alexander. You end up with a few wins and you forget all those losses you took, all those failures you endured, and your ego gets bigger than what you are able to back up. I can’t wait to watch you self-destruct during our match.

Bill presents an even larger grin than before.

Bill:  So, Raven, how do you really feel about us being in the Main Event for Climax Control 336? I feel outstanding knowing that we’re in the Main Event due to me being in this match. Management knows who the real money draws are and when they look at me they see huge dollar signs flashing in their eyes. No, Alexander, I don’t take you lightly as I know you can get the job done if you knew how to properly apply yourself. I would never take the chance of taking  you lightly and then you have that moment where you happen to actually perform well in a match and I let the match slip away. That’s damn sure not going to happen in our match at Climax Control 336.

WHAT THIS MATCH COMES DOWN TO

Bill:  So, Raven, what do I feel this match comes down to? It comes down to where the Roulette Wheel stops to determine what type of match rules. . .or no rules at all. . .that we will have for our match. I personally hope the Roulette Wheel will land on NO RULES or ANYTHING GOES so that the winner of our match. . .me of course. . .walks away from the match with the fans talking about my performance for months for months. However, Raven, no matter where the Roulette Wheel lands I have the advantage. You have to understand that this is not a four wrestler Ultimate X Over The Pool match like we had at Summer XXXTreme X. That type of match, although demanding and fun, doesn’t get the point across as does a one-on-one match like we are having at Climax Control 336. It is way easier to get a wrestler to lose their grip on the scaffolding and drop into the pool than to be in the ring and have to totally earn the win.

PAYMENT IS DUE

Bill:  Alexander I’ll end my comments by stating that PAYMENT IS DUE. What I mean by that is I feel you squeaked by in your match where you regained the Roulette Championship and then you again squeaked by in the Ultimate X Over The Pool match at Summer XXXTreme X. Unless you are a mouse your squeaking has ended and you’re going to lose to me at Climax Control 336. I have come to collect your payment which is overdue. That payment consists of the Roulette Championship which rightfully belongs to me. When the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match your ass is mine. You can run but you will not be able to hide from me. You can yell and scream and hurl threats at me but your screams and threats are useless against me The bottom line is that the instant the bell rings I will be on you in a flash and I’m not going to let up on you until the bell rings again to end our match and I am officially announced as the winner and a two-time Roulette Champion. That’s the payment that is due from you Alexander. PAY UP THEN SHUT UP!!!

We can tell Bill is about to close his presentation but he returns to gazing into the camera.

Bill:  Raven I’m sure you are familiar with George Thorogood’s song titled BAD TO THE BONE. Let me have the studio play the official music video for you.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE MUSIC VIDEO

The video is finished playing and we return to a shot of Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  Well, Alexander, I’m the wrestler who is bad to the bone. I’m the person George Thorogood had in mind when he wrote that song. When you step into the ring with me at Climax Control 336 you need to realize you’re stepping into the ring with one of the baddest mother *bleep*ers on the planet! I promise when our match is over you will hold an interview and when they ask you why you lost the match and the Roulette Championship to me your only response will be BECAUSE BILL BARNHART IS BAD TO THE BONE!

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network to inform them and they tell the camera person to cut their camera feed and they do and our screen goes dark.


5
Climax Control Archives / ROXI IS ON THE ROCKS
« on: June 23, 2022, 04:12:04 PM »
ROXI IS ON THE ROCKS

Narrator:  I had a conversation with Bea concerning her upcoming match against Roxi Johnson at Climax Control 335. Bea told me she’s sick of all the jerks in Sin City Wrestling accusing her of doing something she didn’t do. Roxi Johnson happens to be one of those jerks and Bea told me she has this war to win and when it is done she will be the one person left standing.

The scene opens and we get a shot of Bea Barnhart in her hotel room which is located near the Equidome Arena in Scottsdale, Arizona. The camera pans around and we see she has obtained very nice accommodations for this event. As the camera pans around some more we get a shot of Bill Barnhart and their English Bulldog Iris then the camera returns to focus on Bea.

ROXI ON THE ROCKS

Bea:  ON THE ROCKS  What does on the rocks mean and who is on the rocks? The official definition of ON THE ROCKS is that of someone experiencing difficulties and likely to fail. Another definition of ON THE ROCKS would be a ship that went off course and became grounded when it hit rocks and now they are stranded and unable to move away from the danger. Well, by golly gee, Roxi, that’s fits you perfectly. I guess you haven’t had enough ass kickings placed on you that you now have to suffer one from me. And don’t try looking past me to look at Masque because she’s the lease of your concerns at this time. You and most of the other jerks in Sin City Wrestling continue to falsely accuse me of doing something I didn’t do. I’m sick of the bullshit and the lies and the false accusations! At Climax Control 335 I’m going to destroy you so that you won’t be in shape to meet your match commitment against Masque. When that happens you need thank me for putting you out of action so that you don’t have to experience a major loss before possibly being able to face Masque. We don’t have any history between us but there’s going to be a hell of a lot of talk going around when I pound you into obscurity.

WHAT I BRING TO OUR MATCH

Bea:  Roxi you are probably asking yourself what I plan on bringing to the ring for our match. No, you friggin’ dipshit, I’m not bringing a plastic bottle of perfume as I’ve already told the world I leave that item in my hotel room or dressing room. What I bring to our match is a hatred of over-the-hill, washed up, pathetic, lying, moronic jerks like you and the rest of the roster in Sin City Wrestling. I bring me skills to the ring and I’ll defeat you with my skills and intelligence. Unless you hire interference there’s no way you’re going to defeat me. We shall see what cowardly deeds you are willing to do to get a cheap win over me. By the term WE I mean not only myself, but also the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling and the fans. When they see what a coward you are they will turn their backs to you while they are worshipping me as their new goddess of wrestling.

WHAT? YOU THINK YOUR SHIT DON’T STINK?

Bea:  So, Roxi, are you going to do what you always do leading up to a match? Stuff like bragging as if you are the greatest wrestler ever to step into a wrestling ring? Bragging that you cannot be defeated in a wrestling match even though you have been defeated many times? Making false claims about your opponent? Hurling Elementary level insults at me? You can say whatever the hell your tiny little pea brain tells you to say but in the end your pea brain will hear the official announcement of the decision in our match as me, Bea Barnhart, is the winner over you. Now, Roxi, before you step in front of a camera and claim that your shit don’t stink let me tell you what I hear backstage. I hear that when you take a dump the other wrestlers have to don gas masks to prevent themselves from passing out from the stench. Maybe you could use a bit of perfume. Oops! I uttered the P word! Guess I’m going to Hell for uttering that word since you, and all the others on the Roster, continue to falsely accuse me of stuff I didn’t do. Well, Roxi, after our match there is one thing you can accuse me of and it will be the truth you speak. When I defeat you and you admit to the world that I defeated you then you will have finally shunned the lies and have decided to tell the truth.

CONVERSATION WITH BILL

Bea motions to Bill to come into camera view. Bill walks over to where Bea is located and Iris trails along behind him.

Bill:  This is totally unscripted Bea. You didn’t tell me you were going to ask me for comments during your air time.

Bea:  I like surprising you Bill.

Bill:  Okay. What’s on your mind?

Bea:  Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on wearing a Speedo for your Roulette Championship Qualifier match against Agostino Romano?

Bill:  Because it was a last moment decision. I just went with what came to my mind. It didn’t change the outcome of the match as I was going to win anyway.

Bea:  Okay. Now would you please tell the viewers what you have been doing when it comes to my training in the ring?

Bill:  Bea asked me to train her harder than I used to do previously. I asked her if she was truly serious about that request and she assured me that she  is serious. For several weeks we have gone to a training facility and I have been sending sparring partners against her and I’ve told them they are not to hold back. Bea managed to take them out which means she has improved a lot. But I got the idea to have her take me on in a sparring match. She agreed and I stepped into the ring and made sure she understood that I wasn’t holding back. Bea took some hard hits and falls but she kept getting up and going after me aggressively. In the end I was proud of Bea’s improvement in the ring and I know she can defeat Roxi Johnson at Climax Control 335.

Bea:  Thank you Bill. I appreciate your kind words and your comments on our training.

Bill:  Is that all you have for me? Me and Iris were about to get into a pizza eating contest and you know I want to slam dunk her and win the pizza eating contest.

Bea:  I have one more question for you before you and Iris pig out on pizza. In the match at Climax Control 335 there is a Roulette Championship match with Finn Whelan putting the Roulette Championship on the line against Alexander Raven. Management decided to spice up that match by having Miles Kasey in Finn’s corner and you in Alexander Raven’s corner. Why do you think they did that and what are your plans for being in Raven’s corner?

Bill:  I’ll admit it was a surprise to me when the Card was officially announced. I don’t know why this match got scheduled the way it did but I’ll just state something concerning the match set-up. It is a Roulette Rules Match and all four of us want possession of the Roulette Championship. So what’s going to happen in this match leading up to Summer XXXTreme X? You’ll have to watch the match on Sunday, June 26, 2022, to find out what happens. Now can I please go off and have my pizza eating contest Iris?

Bea:  Yea you can go play with Iris and have your pizza eating contest.

Bill quickly walks out of camera view to take up the pizza eating contest against Iris. The camera follows him until he enters the other room then the camera returns to focus on Bea.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Roxi I want you to be ready for anything and everything from me as I’m coming at you and my goal is to destroy you. Take me for granted if you want to, See you in the ring Sunday.

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments and they call into the Network and the Network cuts back to regularly scheduled programming.


6
Climax Control Archives / AGOSTINO ROMANO...AGAIN?
« on: June 16, 2022, 07:26:29 PM »
AGOSTINO ROMANO AGAIN?

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is ready to destroy Agostino Romano and advance to Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for, and regain, the Roulette Championship.

We are at the home of Bill Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is sitting on his couch with his English Bulldog Iris. Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans and a yellow tee shirt.

HISTORY BETWEEN BILL BARNHART AND AGOSTINO ROMANO

Bill:  Hi and welcome  to my home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We came home after Climax Control 333 as we wanted to get a few things done around the house before traveling to Tucson, Arizona, for Climax Control 334. At this upcoming event I face off against Agostino Romano, the professional Jobber of Sin City Wrestling, where the winner of the match. . .ME of course. . .will advance to Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for, and regain, the Roulette Championship.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper and discusses what is on the paper.

Bill:  Agostino we’ve had two matches together. One was at Climax Control 289 on January 10, 2021. It was a Fatal Four Way. The way to win was to slam your opponent through a table. Do you remember who got slammed through the table Agostino? I remember. It was YOU who Lincoln Daniels slammed through the table. It wasn’t me or the other opponent in the match. Now that sums up how your wrestling career has been going. The second match we’ve had against each other was at Climax Control 308 on August 15, 2021. I imagine, since you also lost that match, that you tend to try to forget the details of that match. It was in the Internet Championship Tournament and I defeated you to advance in the Tournament while you crawled back to your dressing room where you placed a lamp shade over your head and stood in the corner hoping nobody would recognize you. What the hell is your middle name Agostino? PATHETIC?

Bill bursts out in laughter then he regains his composure to continue his comments.

HOW TOUGH IS BILL BARNHART?

Bill:  I would like to relate an incident I had when I lived in California and it involved motorcycles. Here’s the story Romano. I was traveling from San Bernardino, California, to Laughlin, Nevada, so I could visit the casinos and relax. Half way to Laughlin I stopped at the town of Daggett, California, to take a break and use the restroom. There was only a small beer joint so I had no other options where to stop. The parking lot was very small and I had to squeeze my car between parked cars and a row of motorcycles that looked as if a motorcycle gang was at the bar. I tried opening my car door slowly but I still managed to bump the motorcycle nearest to me. Yes I managed to tip the motorcycle over and it went down the row of bikes like a line of dominos crashing to the ground. I didn’t  have long to wait until the motorcycle gang members came out, saw their bikes on the ground, then they confronted me. I warned them that I’m a professional wrestler and will take them all out but they thought I was bullshitting them. Before they could attack me the leader of the motorcycle game came out. He told his members if they wanted to give it a go against me they could. One by one they charged me and one by one I took them all out. Now with a line of motorcycles and a pile of his gang members on the ground the leader of the motorcycle gang approached me. He commended me on my fighting ability then he asked my name and I told him Bill Barnhart. His eyes widened and he said he is a follower of mine in the sport of wrestling but that he didn’t recognize me as I was dressed in semi-formal clothing instead of my wrestling attire. He shook my hand and invited me into the bar for a drink while telling his gang members to pick up their bikes and remain outside while we went inside for a few drinks. I asked him if he would like me to pay for the damage to their bikes and he laughed and said that isn’t necessary. The man’s name is Ray Hill and he remains my friend to this day.

Bill smiles into the camera and gives a thumbs up.

Bill:  Why did I tell you that story Agostino? Because it shows you many things about me. It shows you I can take out an entire motorcycle gang without getting a scratch. Because it shows you that when you’re honest as I am you can get things accomplished and people respect you. So, Agostino, feel free to bring your pathetic Moped riding ass to Tucson where I’ll entertain and amaze the fans at the Tucson Convention Center when I defeat you so quickly that if the fans blink they’ll miss the action.

Bill stands up from the couch and goes to a dresser near the couch and he pulls out what looks like an outfit a College Professor would wear. He puts on the outfit then stands in front of the camera and we’re wondering what he will do.

WELCOME TO THE BILL BARNHART SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

Bill:  Hi. Glad you could make it to the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks. I’m Professor Bill Barnhart and I’m going to school you big time. Agostino you’ve been assigned against me at Climax Control 334. You’re not classified as a Challenger. . .you’re classified as a Sacrifice to me. But don’t worry Romano because even though you enter the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks and you’ll be destroyed I’ll still present a Diploma of Graduation to you with complimentary knots on your head for allowing me to school you. And remember something Agostino. We’re in this match under Roulette Rules. There’s nothing the Roulette Wheel could land on that would intimidate me, scare me, or make me turn and walk away from our match. NOTHING!!!

Bill roars with laughter then he controls the laughter and returns to his comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  For everyone’s information when I demolish Agostino Romano and go into Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for the Roulette Championship I’m not there to play games and make the other wrestlers look good. I’m entering that match to destroy them and regain the Roulette Championship. If you felt I was tough to defeat the first time I was Roulette Champion you need to know I’ll be ten times harder to defeat this second time as Roulette Champion. See you all at Climax Control 334.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today and they call into the Network and the Network switches back to regularly scheduled programming.


7
Climax Control Archives / TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU BELIEVE LIES
« on: June 03, 2022, 08:15:38 AM »
TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU BELIEVE LIES

Narrator:  The saying goes that the truth hurts when you believe the lies. Since Samantha Marlowe ran her mouth, claiming Bea Barnhart did something illegal during Senor Vinnie’s match against Fenris, she now finds herself on the opposite side of the ring from Bea Barnhart. That’s a place Sam doesn’t want to be. She will find that out on Sunday, June 5, 2022.

EARLIER IN THE DAY

We are taken to the hotel room where Bill and Bea Barnhart are staying while Bea is assigned to a match against Samantha Marlowe at Climax Control 332. There is an assigned camera person in their hotel room to broadcast what they are doing leading up to Bea’s match. We watch as Bill calls Iris, their English Bulldog, so they can go into the other room to watch Animal Planet as Iris enjoys watching animal programs. After they leave the living room area Bea remains in the living room putting items away. Bea gets a look on her face and she smiles.

Bea:  Iris! Could you please come here for a moment? I need to ask you something. There’s a doggy treat involved if you participate in the question and answer thing with me.

Iris is never one to hesitate when food is involved. Iris waddles into the living room area and when Bea tells Iris to sit Iris sits down waiting for what Mommy Bea has in store for her. . .especially the doggy treat.

Bea:  Iris I’m going to ask you one question. When you’re done answering the question I’ll give you a doggy treat.

Iris perks up when the words doggy treat are spoken.

Bea:  Iris I want your honest opinion on something. Please tell the viewers what you think about Samantha Marlowe.

Iris stands up from her sitting position then she walks across the living room area to where Bill and Bea have placed a potty pad so when she has to potty she’ll use the pad so there is an easy clean up. Iris walks over and sniffs the potty pad then she turns around once, squats, and drops a load of poop on the potty pad. Iris then walks up to Mommy Bea and receives her doggy treat then we watch as Iris returns to the other room to watch Animal Planet with Daddy Bill.

Bea:  Oh. . .My. . .Goodness! I was expecting Iris to grunt or grown or growl at the name of Samantha Marlow but what she ended up doing was giving her honest opinion of what she thinks about Sam. I would bust out in uncontrollable laughter but that wouldn’t be right eh? Oh to hell with being politically correct! The response Iris gave of her opinion of Sam Marlowe was priceless. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!!

The scene slowly fades to black while Bea is laughing hard.

TRUTH VERSUS LIES

We are in a room which is the area assigned to Bea as her dressing room at the Walter Pyramid where Climax Control 332 is taking place. Bea is dressed in her trademark blue dress she normally wears when serving as Manager for Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie. When the camera person tells her they are live broadcasting Bea begins her comments.

Bea:  Let’s start with who’s telling the truth and who’s lying shall we? I always carry a small plastic spray bottle of perfume with me. When I place the perfume in the plastic spray bottle I put about one-fourth of what the bottle will hold, which is my perfume, and the other three-fourths of the bottle is filled with water. I already mentioned last week that I do that as I’m person who doesn’t like an overwhelming smell of perfume as that makes a woman smell like a cheap whore. Speaking of smelling like that what we have in Sin City Wrestling is that the majority of Bombshells spray so much heavy perfume on themselves that it amazes me their opponents don’t pass out from the vile smell. With that said the bottle that someone took from the ring apron, and somehow managed to spray it in the face of Fenris, couldn’t have possibly “blinded” Fenris as the perfume-to-water ratio was one part perfume and three parts water. If anything it would cause less pain that if you had a spray bottle of alcohol diluted with water and when you sprayed it on your face your eyes may water for a few seconds before clearing up. After Vinnie’s match the spray bottle was taken from me and brought to a lab where their testing proves I’m telling the truth that it was one-fourth perfume and three-fourths water. But still so many on the Roster want to condemn me and destroy me for doing nothing wrong during Vinnie’s match and having nothing vile in my spray bottle. So be it. All you who want a part of me need to bring it on as I’m ready for you.

Bea snaps her fingers into the camera.

DON’T HAVE A COW MAN!

Bea:  Many of you are familiar with the cartoon series The Simpsons. One of the characters is Bart Simpson and one of his favorite phrases when someone over-reacts to simple things that don’t need that level of reaction is DON’T HAVE A COW MAN! So to all of you on the Roster who want to over-react to what happened in the Vinnie versus Fenris match…DON’T HAVE A COW MAN!

Bea rolls her eyes at the stupidity of others.

EITHER BITCH OUT EVERYONE OR DON’T BITCH OUT ANYONE AT ALL

Bea:  I find it amusing that idiots like Samantha Marlowe went all out to bitch at me about the spray bottle incident at the Senor Vinnie versus Fenris match. First problem I have is I didn’t spray Fenris with what is in the spray bottle as I was busy talking to Jason Adams and Belinda Simone at the Announcer’s table. To be honest I don’t know who sprayed Fenris or if he got sprayed at all. But, as always, we now have half the Roster bitching me out for something I didn’t do. I also notice that all of you who are bitching me out, including my next opponent Sam Marlowe, don’t want to bitch out wrestlers who cheat all the time, interfere in matches all the time, and resort to low blows and other illegal maneuvers. So here’s one of my catchphrases you’ve heard me you before. EITHER BITCH OUT EVERYONE OR DON’T BITCH OUT ANYONE AT ALL!  You heard me! Just because you’re jealous of me you bitch me out for things that happen at a wrestling event when I’m not on the card and often I’m not even at the arena for the event since I’m not booked. You can’t be selective and pick on me because you’re jealous that I’m better than you. Either you bitch everyone out or shut the hell up!

Bea grins a huge grin into the camera.

WHAT SAMANTHA MARLOWE IS IN FOR AT CLIMAX CONTROL 332

Bea:  Now, Sam, you ran your mouth so much on social media to falsely accuse me of something I never did that I heard their servers nearly crashed due to the amount of bullshit you were tossing around. Well, Sam, you got what you wanted. You demanded a match with me and now you got it. The saying goes BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR AS YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT  Well, Sam, you were not careful what you wished for and now you have a match with me. You damn well better be ready for anything as Bill has me in extremely intensive training and I’m learning more per day than you’ve learned over your entire career.

Bea grins into the camera.

Bea:  You know my entrance music is Pat Benatar’s HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT which tells a story of others attacking her and her fending off the attacks and kicking their ass instead. I’ll admit, Sam, that you have a win over me in the one and only match we’ve had since I turned wrestler in addition to being Manager for Bill and Vinnie. It was at Climax Control 300 on May 9, 2021. You won that match over me by pinfall. What are you gonna do now Sam? I guess you’re going to take the one and only match we’ve had against each other, which was over one year ago, and brag about it. Well go ahead and brag as I don’t give a damn what happened over a year ago. If you want to have an attitude then do so. Sam I dare you to come into our match with the mindset that you’re going to give me the best shots you have and take me down. I dare you to try to take me down and take me out this time. I’ll fend off your attacks, and then yell at you HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. . .FIRE AWAY! While I’m kicking your ass!

I’M NOT TAKING A DIVE

Bea:  You, and others on the roster, think I’m gonna play easy on you and take a dive to your attacks, both physical and verbal, but you, and everyone else, are wrong. You use the excuse that it is due to what happened to Fenris in his match against Senor Vinnie. I didn’t do anything in that match to cause what happened. I didn’t spray Fenris with anything. And from what I saw I didn’t see Vinnie do it either. I’m not sure what happened and the replay of the match also appears to be confusing and controversial. I know you, and others on the roster, wanting to challenge me by using the excuse of that wrestling match is nothing more than you all trying to use an excuse, any excuse, to come after me and attack me. The vicious attacks you all are trying to put on me isn’t about a previous wrestling match. It is, however, all about you all being mean girls who are jealous of me. I had that through High School and College. Every time those mean girls came after me I left them lying on the ground broken and bleeding. So, Samantha, bring your smart ass mean girl game to our match. Hit me with your best shots. Just don’t come whining to me when my hand is raised in victory.

Bea gives the cut sign to the camera person and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


8
Climax Control Archives / MAX BURKE FALSELY ACCUSING ME IS WRONG
« on: May 26, 2022, 07:52:14 PM »
MAX BURKE FALSELY BLAMING ME WAS WRONG

Narrator:  I assure you I’ve seen Bill Barnhart upset at opponents before but this time, with Max Burke falsely blaming him for not winning the Roulette Championship at Into The Void XI, has made Bill so upset he has total destruction on his mind in his upcoming match against Max Burke.

The scene shifts to the home of Bill and Bea and Iris the Bulldog in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The three are sitting in their living room and when the camera person informs them they are live broadcasting they launch into their comments for Climax Control 331.

BEA DEBUNKS THE LIES

Bea:  Everyone knows that in addition to being an active wrestler in Sin City Wrestling I also serve as the Manager for Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie. Before Bill launched into his comments for his match against Max Burke at Climax Control 331 I wish to address the lies being told about me. Specifically I’m going to talk about the non-incident and character defamation perpetrated against me at Into The Void XI. I’ll relate to you what they claim happened and then I’ll tell you what really happened. What they claim happened is that I took out my small plastic spray bottle of perfume and handed it to Senor Vinnie during the match. Then they say Vinnie grabbed the spray bottle and sprayed Fenris in the eyes temporarily blinding him allowing Vinnie to get the win over Fenris in the match. They further claim that the spray bottle was filled with Tequila Sunrise which caused temporary blindness to Fenris. That’s the bullshit version of what people claim happened and now I’ll tell you what really happened.

Bill:  Get ready for the truth.

Bea:  What I do when I put perfume in my spray bottle is to put just a little bit of perfume then dilute it with water. I do that because most perfumes are disgustingly smelly and I don’t want to spray myself with undiluted perfume and end up smelling like a cheap whore like most of the Bombshell wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling do. So usually put about one-third perfume and two-thirds water. That’s what was in the perfume bottle everyone is talking about from Into the Void XI. Now let me answer the question on how my spray bottle of perfume ended up on the ring apron. I was walking around in Vinnie’s corner observing the match when I heard disgusting and insulting comments coming from the direction where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone give commentary on matches. I heard insulting comments about me so when I strutted toward their table I placed the spray bottle on the ring apron outside of the ropes so it wasn’t inside the ring. No sooner did I arrive at the announcing table to go off on Belinda and Jason I hear a commotion in the ring and I see Fenris floundering and Vinnie getting the win with a pinfall. I glared at Belinda and Jason then went back to Vinnie’s corner at ringside. Next thing I hear is that someone is accusing me of having placed Tequila Sunrise in the spray bottle. If anyone wants the forensic test results I had done after Into The Void XI, that proves there was nothing in the spray bottle from a small amount of perfume and water, contact me and I’ll have you talk with the Lab Tech who did the examination.

Bill:  I know how you feel Bea. I’m always accused of doing something I never did. I’ll talk about false accusations when I get into my comments about Max Burke when you’re done with your comments on the incident from Into The Void XI.

Bea:  So here’s the deal. I’ll be in Bill’s corner for his match against Max Burke at Climax Control 321. As always I’ll do my professional job as Bill’s Manager and as always I don’t get involved in his, or Vinnie’s, matches. If anyone tries to lay more false accusations against me then will be harshly dealt with. That’s it Bill. The camera is yours.

BILL ADDRESSES FALSE ACCUCATIONS MADE BY MAX BURKE

Bill:  Speaking of false accusations let me jump into what Max Burke said which led to our match at Climax Control 331. Since everyone has this mental attitude that they feel they must bash me, falsely accuse me, and threaten me, claiming that I said something, or did something, that I never said and never did, instead of me giving my own comments concerning what Max Burke said I have a copy of the official Climax Control 331 Card and I’m going to read from it the information provided by Management concerning the match. That way if anyone has a comment on what was said they can talk to the correct people instead of accusing me of saying something that wasn’t said.

Bill holds up the official Climax Control 331 card and he begins reading the match information and description for his match with Max Burke.

Bill:  Here ya go! Deal with the following which is the official information provided for my match with Max Burke at Climax Control 331. . .

Max Burke still bears a grudge against the veteran "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart for not only getting himself involved in the one-on-one Roulette title shot that he had earned, but now for taking the loss in the actual championship event in Athens! Max believes that the title would have been his had the match remained a singles match as intended, and now he has demanded a singles match - but this time against none other than "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart himself! This match will surely be a 5 star classic battle between two ring veterans, and whichever emerges victorious, will surely be back on track towards that prestigious Roulette title currently held by Finn Whelan! But Max also has his eyes set on a certain someone else for blinding his close friend Fenris at Into the Void XI! Can Burke focus on the task at hand or will vengeance for a friend cloud his better judgment?

After reading the official information from the Climax Control 331 card for his match against Max Burke we see Bill lay the paper down next to him and then he looks into the camera.

Bill:  There ya go people! Max Burke, who failed to perform well in our Triple Threat match at Into The Void XI, is claiming that it is my fault that he wasn’t able to compete well and win the Roulette Championship. Max claims that I got myself involved in that match. What? My match with Finn Whelan was declared a DRAW by the Referee when you cannot have a DRAW in a Roulette match. Christian Underwood got upset at the Referee and declared that both Finn and Bill go to Into The Void XI and the match then became a Triple Threat. Just as Bea explained how she was falsely accused of stuff at Into The Void XI so you now see that Max Burke, who cannot accept that he couldn’t compete well enough to win the Roulette Championship so he blames me for his incompetence. Nice try Max. I hate being falsely accused of stuff. You stepped over the line and when I defeat you at Climax Control 331 I’ll make sure to step over you when the Referee raises my hand in victory. Falsely accuse me huh? There will be no false win by me in our match. I will soundly defeat you!

BILL GONNA RAP SOME SENSE TO YOU

Bea:  Bill are you ready for your performance?

Bill:  Yes I am. I’ll step out to the other room for a few minutes and then return to give you a performance.

Bill excuses himself to go into the other room to change his clothing. When he returns in front of the camera. We see Bill is dressed in what would be classified as Rapper attire consisting of gold chains around his neck, many fancy rings on his fingers, a medium size clock hanging around his neck like Flava Flav used to do, and he faces the camera and comments.

Bill:  Yo! I be Bill DA BULLDOG Barnhart. I’m gonna rap some lyrics for ya. My song is titled IT’S A MESSED UP, SCREWED UP, F****D UP WORLD. Enjoy.

Bill’s Rap music hits and the beat shakes the speakers and Bill is moving around holding a mic up to his mouth. We listen intently to his lyrics.

Lady Gaga is a guy. . .Justin Bieber is a girl. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d  up world.

Pete the Cactus is a hunk. . .he’s more studly than we thunk…it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Iris twerks like Miley. . .then she grins like a smiley. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Most opponents think they’re pearl. . .but what they do is make me hurl. . . it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Max Burke lied about me. . .So I’ll beat him down ‘till he pee. . . it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Max you were warned. . .now you gonna be scorned. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.


Bill’s Rap music ends and he takes a bow then he removes his Rapper attire and returns to the Bill Barnhart we know and love.

Bea:  Well done Bill. I have to let the viewers know I had no idea Bill was gonna do a rap for you.

FALSELY ACCUSING ME HAS A PAYBACK

Bill:  I’m full of surprises Bea. Max you are one pathetic piece of shit. You are a lying sack of shit. Your performance in the wrestling ring is pathetic and you proved that to the world at Into The Void XI. You can try to blame me for your loss but that’s not gonna work on ninety percent of the viewers. Only the the percent of the viewers who are more mentally deficient than you are will believe your lies. Max when the Roulette Championship match and Into the Void XI was announced you were at a disadvantage against me. When the Climax Control 331 card was announced I again have the huge advantage over you. When you decided to spew forth accusations that I forced myself into our match at Into The Void XI you crossed the line from being at a disadvantage to being downright disgustingly pathetic and stupid. I could go on and on and on giving adjectives to describe you to everyone. You will feel somewhat safe when we are both inside the ring but once you hear the bell from the Timekeeper your breathing will turn to gasps, your knees will buckle, and you’ll drop to your knees and beg for mercy from me. Sorry, Max, you get no mercy from me. . .only pain and suffering. And this time don’t try blaming me again for our upcoming match because your whining and complaining and accusing has got you into this match but I’ll beat you down so hard that you’ll be carried out of the ring to the backstage area.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments. The camera person calls into the Network and they ask them to cut their camera feed and when he does our screen goes dark.


9
Climax Control Archives / I'M TAKING BACK MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP
« on: April 27, 2022, 08:05:59 AM »
I’M TAKING BACK MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator:  Bill currently holds the honor of being the third longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. Bill told me he is determined to earn back the Roulette Championship and this time earn the honor of the longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling.

TAKING BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE

When the scene switches we see Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, walking around in Lesbos, Greece. The camera person assigned to them travels with them wherever they go and they keep them in focus with their camera. Today we see Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black sneakers. Bea is also casually dressed but she is wearing black jeans, a white pullover shirt, and white sneakers. Iris? You know. . .the usual attire. . .a pink diamond studded dog collar.

Bill:  I wish to thank the camera person for accepting this assignment to air my comments for my upcoming rematch for the Roulette Championship against Finn Whelan.

Bea:  It’s nice to see how popular Bill is no matter where in the world we travel for wrestling events.

Bill, Bea, and Iris continue walking down the street stopping occasionally to look into shop windows to see if there are items they may wish to purchase as souvenirs. Not finding anything yet they continue their walk around the town and continue with their comments.

Bill:  Finn. . .it is extremely appropriate that Climax Control 330 is called the GOING HOME show, which leads us to INTO THE VOID XI, because I’m going to soundly defeat you and send you home as the loser and former Roulette Champion then I’ll be the one to defend the Roulette Championship against Max Burke at INTO THE VOID XI.

Bea:  As always I’ll be in Bill’s corner as his Manager to ensure this match is fair and free of interference and cheating.

Bill:  Finn I know that you know the facts but I’m still going to present them for clarification. I’m the third longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. Just because you got a lucky break in our last match doesn’t equate into you defeating me and retaining the Roulette Championship at Climax Control 330. You can get a Voodoo woman to put a curse on me but that won’t get you the win. You can hire all the interference you want but that won’t get you the win. Even if all the planets, solar systems, stars, and galaxies in the Universe were to be perfectly aligned it wouldn’t be enough to get you successful Roulette Championship defense over me at Climax Control 330. If that’s not clear enough for you to fully understand then you are a moron.

Bill, Bea, and Iris turn the corner and stop in front of another shop. Bill notices something inside the shop so he goes in to check on the item with the cameraman following him. When Bill gets to the item he realizes it is a Bill Barnhart action figure with the Roulette Championship belt around his waist. Bill asks the clerk the price and even though it is very expensive Bill gladly pays for the item. Bill returns to Bea and Iris who are waiting on the sidewalk and he shows them his find.

Bill:  Look at what I found! Here in Greece I’m a fan favorite. This is going to be a great addition to our home.

Bea:  Yeah it will!

Bill, Bea, and Iris continue walking around and they come to a small park with a pond where ducks are swimming around. Bill and Bea take a seat on a bench to continue with their comments while Iris sniffs around and occasionally chases a duck.

Bill:  So, Finn, many wrestlers like you believe that just because you step into a wrestling ring that automatically makes you a wrestler. It doesn’t just happen as most people think. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to be at the top in the sport of wrestling. In our previous match we had one of the most interesting and brutal Roulette Rules matches in the history of the sport of wrestling and you happened to get lucky and got the tie-breaker pinfall for the win. That doesn’t mean you dominated me as the match was going my way until you got a lucky break. Stuff like that happens but your luck has run out and I’ll win our upcoming match and again become Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion.

Bea:  Finn there’s a saying that goes sitting in a Church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car. The same concept applies to the sport of wrestling. Stepping into a wrestling ring doesn’t make you a wrestler any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.

WHO YOU GONNA BELIEVE?

Bill:  So, Finn, who are you going to believe? Are you going to believe that you’re actually a better wrestler than me or are you going to believe the truth which is I’m a way better wrestler than you will ever be?

Bea:  Bill you need to run down the list of previous opponents who thought they were better than you because they were bigger than you. And for you, Finn, you need to realize if Bill was able to take out numerous opponents larger than he was then you’re not going to be able to get by Bill again in this match.

Bill:  Let me run down the list of four larger opponents I’ve taken out so you know that with us being the same height and close to the same weight me taking you out will be easy. I didn’t use the names of the wrestlers but I used symbols to describe them.

ONE:  I took on King Kong and beat him down to size then sold him to an Organ Grinder to use as his Organ Grinder monkey.

TWO:  I took on Godzilla and beat him down to size then he ended up getting a job promoting the Geico insurance company.

THREE:  I took on a raging bull and beat him down into a dinner of steaks and ribs.

FOUR:  I took on a Kraken and beat him down to size and had Calamari for dinner.

Bill:  So, Finn, if I was able to accomplish all of that dealing with opponents who were much larger and heavier than me, and much larger and heavier than you could ever hope to be, what the hell gives you the idea you can defeat me in our upcoming match?

Bea:  Wishful thinking and hoping for a miracle doesn’t win matches Finn.

Bill and Bea burst out laughing while Iris looks at both of them and rolls her eyes. Iris then continues sniffing around and occasionally giving a side glance to one of the ducks.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  Finn I doubt if you remember a television show from the late 1970’s, as you have the attention span of about five seconds, but rest assured I’ll keep you informed concerning this television show. The show as a comedy named DIFF’RENT STROKES where Gary Coleman played a character named Arnold and Todd Bridged played his brother Willis. The catchphrase on the show was when Willis said something that Arnold thought was outrageous, or that he was not able to be understand, he blurted out the catchphrase which was WHAT CHOO’ TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WILLIS???  Well, Finn, you’re talking so much shit that is outrageous concerning our match that I’m responding with WHAT CHOO’ TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WHELAN??? Har har har!!!

Bea:  The problem you have, Finn, is that you equate one lucky win in a Roulette Championship match where there were twelve parts to the match. You happened to win the tie-breaker fall in the match but that doesn’t mean you dominated Bill in the match. Yes the match went back and forth but anyone you ask about that match will tell you Bill should have won but sometimes fate raises their head and causes something to happen.

Bill:  Speaking of fate raising their head fate will again raise their head but this time in my favor. That means I will walk into the Supercard INTO THE VOID XI as the defending Roulette Champion.

Bea:  Please relate to the viewer the comparison you have concerning how Finn won the tie-breaker item in your Roulette Championship match.

Bill:  Finn our match was a twelve part match that we came out even with it. They added a final stipulation and you managed to get the win in that final stipulation. It was an accident on your part Finn. You literally got a win for being a joke of a wrestler. Your win can be compared with this example. It was like two people shooting at ducks with shotguns in a competition with a total of twelve ducks to shoot at and they end up with six ducks each. So they toss in one final duck and whoever shoots down that duck is the winner. Say one of the people in the tie-breaker accidentally drops his gun and it fires and accidentally hits the duck and kills it? Does that mean they were the better shooter in the competition? Not only NO but HELL NO!!! That’s exactly how you won the Roulette Championship match against me Finn. You failed to take me out the entire match then you tripped over your own feet and got a cheap win. I’m coming at you at Climax Control 300 to fix that cheap accidentally win you got.

Bea:  That’s telling him how it is Bill.

Bill:  Finn you need to know why the two of us are in the Main Event match for Climax Control 330. It’s not because you’re in the match. It’s not because you’re currently the Roulette Champion. The reason we are in the Main Event  is that I’m in the match and I’m a hell of a larger draw that you’ll ever be. I also wish to inform you of the duty you’ll be performing after I defeat you and once again I become the Roulette Champion. The janitorial crew will clean up the arena with you after I destroy you in our match. That’s all you’ll be worth when I get done destroying you. They’ll use you as a broom. They’ll use you as a cleaning rag. They’ll use you as a buffer for the floors. Oh, man, that’s gonna be some hilarious stuff. Well. . .hilarious for everyone but you Finn. Har har har!!!

Bea informs the camera person they will be leaving the park and head back in the direction of their hotel and that Bill will give them comments along the way. As they get back into the main street area Bill and Bea continue presenting comments for the enjoyment of the viewers.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  We had a nice day today Bill. You laid down the facts and truth to Finn and we both got to watch Iris try to intimidate ducks.

Bill>  Iris does have something in common with ducks. Both Iris and the ducks waddle when they walk.

Iris looks up at Daddy Bill and snorts at him for making a joke about her.

Bill:  I want everyone watching to know that just because I’m in the Main Event doesn’t mean I’m going to drag the match out just to make it a long match. Maybe some of the fans, and some of the other wrestlers, will call me out when I win quickly and make the match a short one, but my objective here is to win the match, and the Roulette Championship, as quickly as possible. There’s never a need to play games and drag a match out just to have a longer match.

Bea:  Whether it is a very short match or a long one the end result is still the same that you exit the match as the Roulette Champion.

Bill, Bea, and Iris arrive at their hotel. They thank the camera person for their dedication to their work assignment and Bea hands them a huge monetary tip. The camera person thanks them for their kindness then they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


10
Climax Control Archives / THIS MATCH IS A GIFT TO ME
« on: April 20, 2022, 12:06:25 PM »
THIS MATCH IS A GIFT TO ME

Narrator:  Bea has a match at Climax Control 329 against Andrea Hernandez at Climax Control 329. This assignment to this match came when Keira Fisher was unable to make her assignment to this match against Andrea Hernandez so Management asked Bea to take the spot. In my conversation with her before coming on camera to give you my lead-in comments Bea’s upcoming match Bea told me she never takes an opportunity lightly and she takes full advantage of gifts like this assignment.

IRIS GETS GROOMED TO SHOW OFF FOR PETE THE CACTUS

The scene opens at HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS pet grooming salon in Rhodes, Greece. We see Bea walking into the salon with Iris her English Bulldog. While waiting to be served Bea has a talk with Iris.

Bea:  Iris I brought you here to the pet grooming salon as I’m having you cleaned up so you look good and smell good so when Pete the Cactus sees you he’ll go ever more crazy over you than he normally does.

Iris:  Arf! Woof! Growl! Grumble! (Translation:  I don’t want a bath! Pete loves me the way I am so why do I have to take a bath and get groomed and have perfume sprayed onto me?)

Bea:  I knew you would be excited about this grooming trip! Here’s your groomer now. Have fun Iris and I’ll be back in a few hours.

Iris:  Growl! Grumble! Snarl! (Translation:  I’ll show you what fun is when you take me home after this grooming appointment! Just wait!)

Bea leaves the HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS pet grooming and she heads off to the Diagoras Stadium where she is scheduled to present her comments for Climax Control 329.

BEA AT DIAGORAS STADIUM

Bea has arrived at the Diagoras Stadium and she is met by a camera crew waiting for her in front of the wrestling ring where the matches for Climax Control 329 will take place. The camera crew informs Bea they are going live broadcasting in thirty seconds and Bea stands ready to present her comments. When they give Bea the signal they are broadcasting she launches into her comments.

P’S AND F’S

Bea:  As most of you know, unless you.re a moron like my upcoming opponent  Andrea Hernandez, I’m from the Philippines. Unlike most Filipinos I’m well educated and talented so I don’t come across as a fool as many of those from the Philippines do. For your viewing enjoyment I’ll present to you a comedy routine that was performed by the comedian Buddy Hackett. Being from the Philippines I appreciate how this particular comedy routine is done. Also when you take into consideration that Buddy Hackett often performed this on live television had he slipped up just once the censors and the Federal Communications Commission would have brought lawsuits against those involved. I’ll have the Network present a short video of Buddy Hackett performing his comedy skit he calls LEO THE FILIPINO.

The network brings up the video of Buddy Hackett performing his LEO THE FILIPINO skit.

Leo the Filipino:  Buddy I’m pucking fissed off!

Buddy Hackett:  Why are you so upset Leo? I’ve never seen you this upset before.

Leo the Filipino:  I’m upset because the foliceman gave me a pucking farking ticket!

Buddy Hackett:  Everyone gets a parking ticket now and then so there’s really no need to be so upset. What happened to cause you to get the parking ticket?

Leo the Filipino:  I farked my car in front of that sign over there and when the Foliceman saw my car parked there he gave me a Farking ticket stating I illegally parked in a no-farking zone. Now I’m upset so I start arguing with the Foliceman. I asked him WHY DID YOU GIVE ME A PUCKING FARKING TICKET? I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A NO FARKING ZONE! MY GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME TO FARK AND CAR THERE AND I DID WHAT SHE SAID. Then when the Foliceman told me I have to pay the $50 fine for illegally Farking my car in I got so upset I went off on the Foliceman. I demanded to know WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THE PUCKING FARKING TICKET WHEN I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS FARKING THE CAR IN AN ILLEGAL FLACE? CAN’T YOU HAVE COMPASSION AND TAKE BACK YOUR PUCKING FARKING TICKET?

Buddy Hackett:  What happened after you said that to the policeman?

Leo the Filipino:  He wrote me another ticket for arguing and insulting him and the second ticket cost me an additional $100.

Buddy Hackett:  Well you learned a valuable lesson that day Leo. Don’t argue with the police.

Leo the Filipino:  Puck that pucking bullshit!

The short video from Buddy Hackett ends and we return to a shot of Bea in front of the wrestling ring.

BEA’S HISTORY AGAINST ANDREA HERNANDEZ

Bea:  As I stated I don’t transpose P’s and F’s like Leo the Filipino did, as I’m highly educated and intelligent. However it is a funny comedy routine and one slip-up would be a disaster. I was assigned to face Andrea Hernandez at Climax Control 329 because Keira Fisher was unable to make her assignment to that match. So, Andrea, what are your thoughts about me being assigned to this match instead of Keira? I mean, come on, let it out, tell us how you feel having a reasonable reign as Internet Champion then April 3, 2022, you lost the Internet Championship to Masque De Lune? Nobody enjoys losing a Championship so I’m sure you feel bad, sad, and disappointed, but you should manage to hold another Championship some day. Suck it up and move on.

Bea pauses to take a drink of water then she continues with her comments.

Bea:  Before you say something about our history against each other I’ll take the opportunity to inform the viewers so you don’t have to waste your breath. We’ve met in the ring only once Andrea and I admit you won that match by pinfall. But for the education of the viewers I need to state the facts so when you make all your claims they’ll know the truth. When we met on February 2, 2020, at Climax Control 260, that was only my third match as a wrestler. I was new to the sport and you, having a bit more experience, got the win in that match. We haven’t met in the ring since that time. Maybe you fail to take into consideration that a lot has happened in two years and two months since our first match with each other. Maybe you forget that at one point in your wrestling career you were a rookie and had to take a lot of hard knocks before you got up and took charge. Whether you forgot all of that from your beginner days, or you just care to ignore the truth, so be it. The truth is that you are facing me, not Keira, and I plan on impressing the world so they’ll see I’m deserving of a shot at the Internet Championship, and other Championships, here in Sin City Wrestling. If you wish to take me lightly it’s your loss.

Bea informs the camera crew she needs to pick Iris up at the HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS groomers and that she’ll return later to air more comments for her upcoming match. They cut their feed to the network and our screen goes dark.

RETURN TO HOT DOGS AND COOLS CATS GROOMERS TO GET IRIS

The scene comes on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart in the lobby of HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS groomers in Rhodes. She is waiting for Iris to be brought out. When Iris comes out Bea is excited to see Iris need and clean, with her hair trimmed, wearing numerous bows and a bandana, and she smells of expensive doggy perfume. The look on the face of Iris is enough to let us know she didn’t want a bath but she had no choice.

Bea:  IRIS! You look stunning and you smell great! Wait until Pete the Cactus sees you looking and smelling great!

Iris:  Grumble! Snort! Growl! Howl! (Translation:  I’ll give you something to smell when we return to our hotel room!)

Bea:  On our way to our hotel I have a special surprise for you. We’ll stop by a restaurant that is pet friendly and I’ll buy lunch for you and Pete the Cactus, then we can finish is off with ice cream for you two, then we will return to our hotel room so you and Pete can play video games while I return to the stadium to continue my comments concerning my upcoming match with Andrea Hernandez.

Iris:  Bark! Arf! Howl! Squeal! (Translation:  Since you put it that way I’ll behave and not stink up our hotel room. Thanks Mommy!)

Bea and Iris take off and the scene slowly fades out as they walk away.

BEA HAS RETURNED TO DIAGORAS STADIUM TO AIR MORE COMMENTS

We again see Bea Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at Diagoras Stadium where she will face Andrea Hernandez at Climax Control 329. When the camera crew informs Bea they are live broadcasting Bea launches into her comments.

Bea:  Andrea. . .Andrea. . .Andrea. You are in for a very special match against me. You don’t take me seriously but after I defeat you then you will become a supporter of me as you will no longer be able to defeat me in the ring. When we are into the action of our match and you try to land a blow or maneuver on me I won’t be there to accept it. I’m quick in the ring and you will not be able to latch onto me. As soon as you realize you missed a blow or maneuver and turn around to try another one I’ll have already landed a blow or maneuver on you. The concept is a simple one of me attacking quickly then quickly moving out of your reach. You’ll be so frustrated by the five minute mark in our match that you’ll just give up and take the loss to me. Yeah. . .yeah. . .yeah. . .you think that won’t be the case in our match. You think that can never happen to you against me. Imagine your surprise and shock when I defeat you and prove to the fans who they should be supporting.

Bea flashes a huge grin.

Bea:  I’m going to be so quick in our match that you’ll think I can time travel where I zap out from in front of you and the next instant I’m behind her applying another maneuver or hold on you. You’ll get dizzy spinning around trying to figure out where I’ll be the next moment. But, Andrea, there’s no need for you to fear and tremble as I won’t drag out your loss to me just to make you suffer. You’ll suffer enough when I quickly defeat you and nobody will believe in you any longer. Remember my assignment to this match is not a punishment placed on me. It is a gift handed to me. Have a nice day.

Bea informs the camera crew she’s done with her comments and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


11
Climax Control Archives / I WILL BE THE NEXT INTERNET CHAMPION
« on: April 14, 2022, 03:45:02 PM »
I WILL BE THE NEXT INTERNET CHAMPION

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart got a gift handed to him when the Climax Control 328 card was announced. Even though Bill lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan at Climax Control 326 when Climax Control 328 was announced Bill is facing Jack Washington for the Internet Championship.

BILL AND IRIS RAISE MONEY WITH A LASAGNA EATING CONTESTs

The scene changes and we are taken back to Tuesday, April 5, 2022, while Bill and Bea Barnhart, along with their English Bulldog Iris, were still in Lawrenceville, Georgia, before they traveled to Greece. They are at the Gwinnett County Fairgrounds located at 2405 Sugarloaf Pkwy, Lawrenceville, Georgia, not far from their home. Today Bill and Iris are facing off in a Lasagna eating competition to raise money for homeless people in the Lawrenceville area. Bea will be acting as moderator for the event and they invited Anthony Amey, the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta, to be the official Referee for this event.

Bea:  Welcome to another fundraising challenge pitting Bill Barnhart against Iris the Bulldog. Today they are participating against each other in a lasagna eating contest. Each of them will receive a tray of lasagna that weight three pounds. They will have a maximum of five minutes to devour the lasagna. If one of them can devour the lasagna in that time they will win. If neither of them finishes their lasagna when the five minutes are up then we will weigh the remaining trays of lasagna to see which has the lighter one. The one with the lighter weight tray of lasagna remaining will be declared the winner. Today we have our friend, Anthony Amey, who is the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta. Anthony are you ready to referee this contest?

Anthony:  Yes! Let’s get this contest underway!

The serving staff brings out two three pound trays of lasagna. To ensure there is no cheating they weight both trays to ensure both are exactly three pounds. Both Bill and Iris are satisfied that this contest will be fair and equal.

Anthony:  Bill. . .Iris. . .I have in my hand an air horn. When I blow the air horn the five minutes allotted for this lasagna eating contest begins. When the five minutes are up I will blow the air horn again and the contest will be officially over and both of you must immediately stop eating. However if one of you finishes your tray of lasagna before the five minutes are up then you are automatically declared the winner. Are you two ready?

Bill:  Hell yeah!

Iris:  Woof Bark! (interpretation:  Hell yeah!)

Anthony Amey blows the air horn and this contest is officially underway. Iris dives face-first into her tray of lasagna immediately putting Bill behind. Bill realizes this and he picks up the pace and he manages to come up even with Iris at this time.

Anthony:  One minute has elapsed. Four minutes to go!

Bill takes the time announcement as his incentive to pick up his eating pace. Iris isn’t going to let Daddy Bill get away with passing her up eating lasagna so she picks up the pace also. Both are about one fourth done with their trays of lasagna.

Anthony:  Two minutes have elapsed. You two have three minutes left to devour the remaining three-fourths of your lasagna!

Iris picks up the pace of eating faster than Bill does. However in the process Iris sucked  in a bit too much lasagna and she starts coughing and gasping. Bill takes the advantage by consistently eating without choking like Iris just did.

Anthony:  Three minutes are gone and both contestants are just shy of the half way point in their lasagna with Bill quickly closing in on the half way point.

Iris has a look at her face that indicates it is all or nothing for her in this contest so she continues to gulp, swallow, and gasp, but she’s making better progress now and it appears she’s passed Bill up by a bit.

Anthony:  Four minutes are up. Only one minute to go and both Bill and Iris are just barely past the half way point in their pans of lasagna. This is going to be an interesting finish!

Bill picks up the pace and passes Iris. Iris speeds up and passes Bill. They go back and forth several times but the time has run out and Anthony Amey blows the air horn to end the contest. Both Bill and Iris stop eating and now the weighing of the remaining lasagna needs to take place.

Anthony:  That’s it! This contest is over! The serving staff will now weigh both lasagna trays and whichever tray is lighter that person, or dog, will be declared the winner.

With both lasagna trays containing just a bit less than half the lasagna this will be a close weighing event. They put Bill’s lasagna tray on the scale and he comes in at one pound four ounces which means Bill ate one pound twelve ounces of lasagna. When they put the lasagna pan of Iris on the scale it comes in at one pound six ounces which means Iris ate one pound ten ounces of lasagna making Bill the winner by two ounces.

Anthony:  The winner of this lasagna eating contest, by two ounces, BILL BARNHART!!!

The crowd cheers but Iris is obviously sad she lost. Bill and Iris comfort her and they remind her of the many contests she won against Daddy Bill. They hand Iris all of the remaining lasagna from the two trays and Iris quickly forgets about being sad for losing against Daddy Bill.

Bea:  I have an envelope here with $2,500 that was donated by the community in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and we are giving this money to the City of Lawrenceville to help homeless people. Thanks to everyone who donated to this fundraising event and for you who came out today to watch Bill and Iris compete and cheer them on!

The scene changes are we are taken to today in Crete, Greece, where Bill will be taking on Jack Washington for the Internet Championship. We see Bill and Bea sitting at a table which appears to be in the broadcast studio at the Theodoros Vardinogiannis Stadium. Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans and a black pullover shirt and Bea is casually dressed in slacks and a white buttoned shirt.  The techs in the studio inform Bill they are now live broadcasting.

I WILL BE THE NEXT INTERNET CHAMPION

Bill:  Jack let me start my comments by informing you that I’m going to be the next Internet Champion. That will happen on Sunday, April 17, 2022, at Climax Control 328, and there’s not a damn thing you can do to prevent me from winning the Internet Championship. How can I make a bold statement like that? Let me inform you of the facts.

Bea:  You tell him Bill.

Bill:  One reason you cannot defeat me comes from Climax Control 326. What happened on that day Jack? You faced my friend, Senor Vinnie, in a non-title match and he defeated you but you were fortunate that the Internet Championship wasn’t on the line in that match. You’ll be defeated again at Climax Control 328 but this time by me and I become the Internet Champion.

Bea:  Bill Barnhart. . .Internet Champion. . .that has a nice ring to it.

Bill flashes a big smile.

Bill:  So, Jack, shall we review your Championship history to date? You won the Heavyweight Championship on September 27, 2020 and lost is 3 months later on December 20, 2020. Then you regained the Heavyweight Championship on March 7, 2021 but lost it two months later on May 23, 2021. And now for the Internet Championship you currently hold. You obtained the Internet Championship on March 20, 2022, and I assure you that you’ll lose it to me on April 17, 2022, at Climax Control 328 for a one month reign. Hmmm. Something just popped into my head. You total combined time as a Champion for the two Heavyweight Championships and your current Internet Championship is less than my one reign as Roulette Champion. The concept concerning Championships isn’t to hold a lot of Championships and lose them quickly like you’ve done. The concept is to earn a Championship and retain it for a respectable amount of time. That you have failed to do.

Bea:  Nice slam dunk Bill.

Bill grins larger this time.

Bill:  Let’s get a few things out in the open Jack. Have you faced me in the wrestling ring yet? Nope! Are you aware that I’m going to defeat you and walk away from our match as the Internet Champion? Nope! You’re delusional thinking that with your pathetic record of winning championships and quickly losing them that you can defeat me. You seem to fail to take into consideration that I held the Roulette Championship for six months. I successfully defended it several times. I didn’t earn the Roulette Championship and lose is quickly as you did with the Heavyweight Championship. People like you enjoy making jokes about me as a wrestler. You all had your fun but when I became Roulette Champion and retained the Championship for six months all the jokes stopped. When I whup your ass and become Internet Champion all the harassment from others stop and everyone will wake up to who I am and what I’ve accomplished and they will start praising me.

Bea:  Well stated Bill.

Bill flashes a Joker from Batman type of grin.

Bill:  Another thing I want to get out in the open. Recently Goth won a multi-wrestler match with the winner obtaining a shot at the wrestler who is holding the Internet Championship at the next Super Card. I know you were cowering when you saw Goth win his match because I know you don’t want to face him as he’s an impressive wrestler. But who are you facing at Climax Control 328? ME! And here’s a bit of history for you. When I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance I took out Goth more times than he took me out both inside the wrestling ring and outside the wrestling ring. Not only in the wrestling ring as a wrestler but in a personal way as I worked as his Assistant in helping with the Federation. So imagine what you’re facing this Sunday. A wrestler who was able to take Goth out of action more times than Goth was able to take me out of action. Plainly stated you are facing me, not Goth, and after I win the Internet Championship from you this Sunday I’ll be the wrestler defending against Goth at the next Super Card. Then after I defeat Goth, and properly retain my Internet Championship, the entire wrestling world will stand up and salute me!

Bea:  Although I know other wrestlers, and most of the viewers, don’t like me reminding them of my Manager status in Bill’s corner during his matches I’ll state my position anyway. I’m in Bill’s corner as his Manager to ensure there are no run-ins on his matches, no cheating by his opponents, and no other illegal activity in the ring. So, Jack, if you attempt illegal stuff during the match I’ll inform the Referee and keep you in line. If others try to run in on the match to help you they’ll be stopped and taken out before they get to the ring. You’ve been warned. Take my warning seriously.

Bill:  Thanks Bea. Jack I’m a wrestler who goes all out in every match. I never hold back. I’m a wrestler who never once demanded or begged for a shot at a Championship. Every shot given to me was given to me by Management because they like what they saw in me and wanted to give the Champions a challenge. If you think I don’t make an impression on Management by performing my job well in Sin City Wrestling remember that I never beg or demand Management for shots at Championships. Unlike the rest of you who demand shots at Championships when you didn’t earn it I do my job and don’t beg and demand anything. Take into account that two weeks after losing the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan we saw Management sending me to challenge you for the Internet Championship. There’s a full roster of wrestlers that most people feel are more deserving of a shot at you but I got it. Did I beg Management for this match? NO! Did I threaten them if they didn’t give me this match against you? NO! Did I bribe them with money or other favors? NO! I got this shot because I’m an amazingly gifted wrestler and they acknowledge that fact!

Bea:  Woo Hoo!

Bill laughs loudly then continues with his comments.

Bill:  Jack I’m not a stand-up comedian but I have a few stand-up comedy lines I’d like to present to you. . .

What do you call a man who had a penis injury and had an artificial penis made for him from wood? WOODPECKER!!!

What nickname do you call a man who has a wooden artificial penis?  WOODY!!!

What do you call a wrestler who has held three Championships in Sin City Wrestling, who quickly lost the first two, then at Climax Control 326 he lost his match against my friend, Senor Vinnie, and now he’s going to lose the Internet Championship to me at Climax Control 328? LOSER!!!

Bill and Bea both roar with laughter. The techs in the studio inform Bill and Bea that they are taking a one minute commercial break then they will return to broadcasting.

AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Final recap of what I stated to you today Jack. ONE. . .you suck. TWO. . .you’ll lose the Internet Championship to me at Climax Control 318. THREE. . .I’ll be defending the Internet Championship at the next Super Card. FOUR. . .You’ll never be able to defeat me. FIVE. . .Have fun leading up to our match this Sunday, if you are able to remain calm and relaxed knowing who and what is facing you, and I’ll see you on Sunday in the Main Event!

Bill gives the CUT sign to the studio staff and they cut their feed and our screen goes dark.


12
Climax Control Archives / NOBODY IS KILLING MY DREAMS
« on: April 06, 2022, 09:57:02 AM »
Pete the Cactus used by permission of Gerrit *

NOBODY IS KILLING MY DREAMS

The scene comes on our screen and we see Bill and Bea Barnhart’s Narrator ready to give his lead-in comments for Bea’s match against Kayla Richards at Climax Control 327.

Narrator:  I had a talk with Bea Barnhart before I came on camera to present lead-in comments concerning her match. If you think lava in a volcano is fired up and hot I’m here to tell you that Bea is fired up and hot and ready to destroy Kayla Richards. I will leave the remaining comments on Bea’s match to her to present to you.

The scene fades out. . .

ZAKYNTHOS, GREECE

The scene comes back on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart in what looks to be a hotel room. We assume she will explain her location soon. In the background we see her husband, Bill Barnhart, who is now the ex-Roulette Champion having lost the Championship to Finn Whelan at Climax Control 326. We don’t see Iris in the background but we are sure she is in the hotel room somewhere. The camera person informs Bea they are broadcasting so she sets herself in front of the camera to present her comments for Climax Control 327.

Bea:  Thank you for joining me today. We’re at a hotel near the Azure Resort and Spa located in Zakynthos, Greece, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 327. I wish to have my husband, Bill Barnhart, join me on camera for a short time before I launch into my comments for my match against Kayla Richards.

Bill walks over to Bea and stands next to her.

Bea:  Bill has been Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion for six months. He lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan in what I call one of the most interesting Roulette Wheel spins ever. You can take over the comments on the Roulette Championship from here Bill.

Bill: Me and Finn Whelan, were surprised when the Roulette Wheel landed on a stipulation that there would be a maximum of twelve types of matches within the match and each wrestler had to try to win as many of those matches during the time limit of the match. We both ended up with six wins each so we went into a tie-breaker. Finn ended up winning the tie-breaker so he is now Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion. I want to tell Finn that he did an amazing job in our match. We both did great. The fact that Finn didn’t give up makes me appreciate what he accomplished. Well done!

Bea:  Thanks, Bill, for being a great husband and wrestler and you were a great Roulette Champion. The fact that you commend your opponent for earning the Roulette Championship away from you tells the world what a wonderful person, man, and wrestler, you are. Could you check on Iris in the other room Bill? It has been extremely quiet in her room and that makes me think she’s up to something.

Bill walks toward the room where Iris is located but when he is a few feet from entering the room he hears music and rustling noises.

Bea:  I ask the viewers to excuse me for a moment so I can find out what’s going on with Iris.

As Bea begins to walk toward the room where Iris is located, but before she can reach where Bill is standing, we hear the song AFTERNOON DELIGHT by Starland Vocal Band playing. We all know that the song references having a sexual encounter so both Bill and Bea are concerned. Bea walks up and stands next to Bill and before the two can enter the room where Iris is located we watch as Pete the Cactus exits the room wearing a fancy bathrobe while smoking a fancy cigar with a huge smile on his face.

Bill:  PETE! What in the hell was going on in there with you and Iris?

Bea:  IRIS! What in the hell was going on in there with you and Pete?

Of course the implication was there that Pete and Iris were having sex until Bill and Bea walk into the bedroom of Iris. They notice videos games on the screens of the two laptops in the room, one belonging to Iris and one belonging to Pete the Cactus.

Bea:  Iris! Tell me the truth! What was going on with you and Pete in the room?

Iris:  Woof! Bark! Snarl! Whimper! (Translation:  We were playing video games against each other and Pete won against me so I got pouty on him.)

Bill:  Pete! If you two were just playing videos games why in the hell did you come out of the room of Iris wearing a fancy bathrobe, smoking a fancy cigar, and with a huge smile on your face?

Pete: ! ! ! ! ! * * * * * # # # # # ? ? ? ? ? (Translation:  I soundly defeated Iris in the video games. She’s not as good a player as I am and Iris is a sore loser. When I won, and I won easily, I celebrated by putting on my fancy bathrobe, lit up my cigar, and of course I had a huge smile on my face. Stop trying to insinuate things against me and Iris okay!

Bill and Bea look at each other and shrug their shoulders. Bill goes into the room with Iris and Pete and Bea returns to where she was presenting her comments for her match against Kayla Richards.

MEASURING UP

Bea:  I apologize for the interruption by Pete and Iris. Turns out it was a case of us misunderstanding what happened. Concerning my match at Climax Control 327 I’m facing Kayla Richards. So, Kayla, you seem to want to portray yourself as a psycho, anger laden, hateful person, who loves destroying people and killing their dreams. Before I talk about those claims I wish to talk about how we measure up. You come into our match listed at five feet nine inches and one hundred twenty-eight pounds. I come into our match at five feet five inches and one hundred thirty pounds. We’re basically equal in weight but you are four inches taller. I assure you that having a four inch height advantage won’t help you at all. I’ve done exceptionally well against wrestlers taller, larger, heavier, and more experienced than you are.

Bea flashes a smile into the camera.

REMAINING SILENT IS ALWAYS THE BETTER DECISION

Bea:  Kayla you seem to enjoy running around spouting off that you’ll kill the dreams of your opponents. Tsk tsk tsk! Nice claims but it is always better for people like you to remain silent. I’ll present the information to you and then you have a decision to make. Samuel Langhorn Clemens, better known by his Pen Name of Mark Twain, was a popular American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. One of his most profound quotes is “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to talk and remove all doubt.”

Bea puts her hand over her mouth in a gesture to Kayla that Kayla would have been better served had she kept her mouth shut rather than to issue threats to her.

Bea:  Mark Twain said it straight but you have decided to ignore his advice and prove to the world you’re a fool. Nice going Kayla!

NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE

Bea:  One of my favorite songs is WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT by Twisted Sister. I’ll ask the Network to put up a graphic of part of the lyrics of the song as they apply to you and me in our match.

The Network puts the graphic on the screen showing the section of lyrics Bea wants to present.

We'll fight the powers that be just
Don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong

We're not gonna take it
Oh no, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore

Oh, you're so condescending
Your gall is never ending
We don't want nothin', not a thing from you

Your life is trite and jaded
Boring and confiscated
If that's your best, your best won't do!!!


The Network leaves the lyrics on the screen while Bea continues with her comments.

Bea:  I’m leaving the lyrics on the screen so you can see where I’ve modified the lyrics to change WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT to read I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT. And the lyrics go “Your life is trite and jaded. . .Boring and confiscated. . .If that's your best, your best won't do!!! It comes down to this Kayla. If you want to rant and rave, and beat your your chest with your fists, and foam at the mouth, claiming how violent in the ring you think you are, and claiming to be the killer of dreams, well as Twisted Sister stated it in their song IF THAT’S YOUR BEST YOUR BEST WON’T DO!!!  I challenge you to try to give me your best in our match but no matter what you bring or what you try I’m walking away from our match as the winner.

FIVE ITEMS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Bea holds one finger up.

Bea:  First item for you Kayla is that you’re not killing my dreams. You may kill yourself trying to defeat me but my dreams remain intact.

Bea holds two fingers up.

Bea:  Second item is that although you, and most of the other Bombshells in Sin City Wrestling, make fun of my overall win-loss record the fact remains that they’re jealous. Why, you ask, would the other Bombshells be jealous of me when I have yet to hold a Singles Championship, but I have held the Mixed Tag Team Championship, and my win-loss record isn’t in the outstanding category? Good question. They’re jealous because I perform exceptionally well in all my matches. Win or lose I’ve gained the attention of Management and I’ve been assigned to five Championship matches without having to beg Management to give me one like nearly all the other Bombshells in Sin City Wrestling do. I won one of them, the Mixed Tag Team Championship. Soon I’ll earn a Singles Championship and then that will shut everyone up!

Bea holds up three fingers.

Bea:  My third item is that I’m not just going to defeat you in our match. I plan on making you suffer and make you submit to one of my numerous submission holds.

Bea holds four fingers up.

Bea:  I have my stomping boots on for our match and I plan on stomping at least four mud holes in you during our match.

Bea holds five fingers up.

Bea:  My fifth and final item for you revolves around the number five. I plan on defeating you in five minutes or less so be prepared for that.

CLOSING COMMENTS

We watch as Bea walks over to the table in the dining area of the room and she pulls out a pair of her wrestling boots from a box on top of the dining table. Bea puts the boots on then she has the camera person get a shot of her wrestling boots before they focus on her face again.

Bea:  Kayla I can’t expect someone of your low status in life to know about music that was perfect for the time it was created. I put on my wrestling boots for a visual for a reason. There was a song by Nancy Sinatra, the daughter of Frank Sinatra, titled THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING. In the original lyrics it stated THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY’LL DO. . .ONE OF THESE DAYS THESE BOOTS ARE GONNA WALK ALL OVER YOU. For your benefit and enjoyment I modified the original lyrics and they go as follows:  THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR STOMPING. . .AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY’LL DO. . .AT CLIMAX CONTROL MY BOOTS ARE GONNA STOMP ALL OVER YOU!!!

Bea bursts out in laughter then she asks the Network to take the lyrics off the screen.

Bea:  I’m going to enjoy beating the crap out of you Kayla! I’m going to enjoy stomping the hell out of you! I’m going to enjoy having my hand raised in victory! See you on Sunday, March 10, 2022.

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments and that they can cut their camera feed. They do so and our screen goes dark.


13
Climax Control Archives / I'M WRESTLING A JOKE FOR AN OPPONENT
« on: March 31, 2022, 08:33:11 AM »
I’M WRESTLING A JOKE FOR AN OPPONENT

Narrator:  For a long time in his previous wrestling federation Bill Barnhart had to wrestle, meaning fight hard, against his half-brother Chris Shipman. Now the people in Sin City Wrestling Management have decided that Bill should face off against Finn Whelan with the claim that Finn Whelan is more than Chris Shipman ever was. Well with someone getting accolades they don’t deserve, meaning Finn Whelan is less than half what Chris Shipman was, I see another successful Roulette Championship defense by Bill at Climax Control 326.

BILL BARNHART AT FIVE YEARS OLD

The scene comes into focus and we see a five year old Bill Barnhart on the street in front of his home at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland, California, where Bill grew up. Bill Barnhart’s father, William Barnhart, is taking the training wheels off Bill’s bicycle.

Bill:  Father what are you doing? If I don’t have the training wheels I might fall over on my bike until I learn how to balance properly and get hurt. I’m only five years old remember?

Father:  Of course I know you’re five years old as you’re my son! Bill there’s only one way to win at riding a bike and that also translates into how to win in life. Everyone learns to ride a bike starting with a tricycle, then they move up to a bicycle with training wheels, then they remove the training wheels and learn to balance and ride the bicycle with ease. Now get on the bike and ride!

Five year old Bill Barnhart gets on the bicycle that no longer has training wheels and he takes off. After a short distance Bill topples over but isn’t able to get his foot out in time to stop his fall to the pavement. Bill scrapes his knee on the pavement and we see he is in pain and his leg is bleeding.

Bill:  Damn! Now I got a scraped-up knee and I’m bleeding and it hurts!

Father:  Shut up boy and suck it up! When I served in World War II in the United States Navy I saw shipmates take shrapnel that cut them deep and they were bleeding and in a hell of a lot more pain than you are right now! You know what my shipmates did? They got up and continued taking the fight to the enemy. Your enemy, Bill, is being afraid to get hurt. Everyone gets hurt in life and they deal with that pain so deal with it! Get your ass back on the bike and conquer it!

Bill grumbles but obeys his father and gets back onto the bike. Bill wobbles like he previously did but this time he manages to maintain his balance and control of the bike. Bill quickly learns that a bike in motion tends to want to stay upright and the only time you need to think about the bike toppling over is when you go too slow. After a few minutes Bill is traveling up and down their street with ease. When Bill returns to where his father is waiting for him his father imparts some advice.

Father:  Bill you did great! Had you let your frustration, a bruised leg, and a little blood scare you off you wouldn’t be enjoying riding your bike just now. Whatever you end up doing in life as your line of work you always look forward and don’t look back. When you have failures in your life you do the same thing you did with your bike after you took a fall. You get back up and continue to move forward. Never back down from anything. Be confident in what you’re capable of accomplishing and you’ll always be successful.

The scene of five year old Bill Barnhart conquering riding his bike without training wheels, and powering through the pain of falling over, scraping his knee on the pavement, and bleeding, ends and we are returned to present-day time.

PRESENT-DAY TIME IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

The present-day scene opens to see Bill and Bea Barnhart getting out of Bill’s Hyundai Santa Fe SUV and walking toward McCray’s Tavern located at 100 North Perry Street in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The assigned camera person follows them to the entrance of the tavern. The instant Bill steps through the doors of McCray’s Tavern everyone in the tavern yells out BILLLLLLLLLL!!! in the same fashion patrons did when Norm, in the television series CHEERS, walked into the bar. Bill takes a bow and greets everyone then he and Bea take their normal seats at the bar.

Bill:  Thanks for the wonderful greeting! Nice to be well known and appreciated.

Bea:  Bill you are always well known and appreciated.

Bartender:  Bill you’re our hero. You live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and you’ve been an outstanding wrestler for many years and you’ve brought attention and honor to our city of Lawrenceville.

Bill:  Awwww, that’s nice to hear, and again thanks for the welcome when we walked in. By the way have you heard that Sin City Wrestling is currently on a Greek tour? Our first stop is in Corfu, Greece, at the Corfu National Stadium. I’m defending my Roulette Championship against someone named Finn Whelan.

Bartender:  Finn Whelan? Who the *bleep* is that? I’ve never heard of him so how in the hell did he get a shot at your Roulette Championship? Anyone here today ever heard of Finn Whelan?

The Bartender looks around the bar and the patrons shrug their shoulders and tell the Bartender they have no clue who Finn Whelan is.

Bartender:  There you go Bill. Nobody here has ever heard of Finn Whelan. So what are you thinking about why he got assigned to take you on for the Roulette Championship?

Bill:  I haven’t a clue. This is the first time I’ve heard his name mentioned. Some are even trying to tell me that Finn Whelan is a hell of a lot more violent and aggressive than my half-brother Chris Shipman.

Bartender:  Seriously? There’s people out there who think there’s a wrestler more violent and aggressive than your half-brother Chris Shipman? It’s impossible that anyone can be more violent and aggressive than Shipman. The fact that you destroyed Chris Shipman so many times that he went into retirement says it all.

Bill:  That’s what I said. The world, and Finn Whelan, will find out on Sunday, April 3, 2022, at Climax Control 326, that I’m the Roulette Champion and will remain Roulette Champion for a very long time. DRINKS FOR EVERYONE ON ME!!!

Bea:  That’s a nice gesture Bill.

Everyone in the bar roars their approval to Bill buying a round of drinks for all of them. While everyone is celebrating the scene starts to fade out until our screen goes dark.

AT THE HOME OF BILL AND BEA IN LAWRENCEVILLE GEORGIA

The camera feed of the assigned camera person comes on our screen and we see that we are in the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart. Bill and Bea are sitting on the couch in the Living Room and Iris is sitting next to Daddy Bill on the couch. We notice there are some visible scratches and bruises on Bill, from his match against Alexander Raven at Blaze of Glory X where Bill successfully defended his Roulette Championship, but overall we know he’s fine and ready to go for his match with Finn Whelan.

HOW DID FINN WHELAN GET ASSIGNED TO THIS MATCH?

Bill:  Well my next victim is Finn Whelan. So, Finn, you managed to whine and complain and beg to Management and then demand a shot at my Roulette Championship. I haven’t heard of you except for a few small mentions prior to our upcoming match being scheduled. There’s a lot of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who should be sent to face me for my Roulette Championship but Management chose you instead. I guess they wanted to shut you up after you whined and complained and demanded a shot at my Roulette Championship. The saying is you should be careful what you ask for as you might just get it. I assure you that your claims of being more violent, more evil, more talented, and more hateful, than my half-brother Chris Shipman, is hilarious! Nobody in the world is more violent, evil, talented, or hateful, than Chris Shipman. In fact nobody in the Universe is more violent, evil, talented, or hateful, than my half-brother Chris Shipman except for me! But, Finn, you’ll find out the hard way what the truth is when I destroy you in our match. Let me enlighten you with a graphic I’ll have the Network put up on the screen to let you know why nobody yet has defeated me for my Roulette Championship. Would the Network please put up the graphic I sent to them? Thanks.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

A graphic of a Bill’s fist comes up on the screen with the wording MY FIST. . .ONE SIZE FITS ALL.

Bill:  Finn I wanted to show you this graphic to let you know that I’ll defeat you like I’ve defeated my previous challengers. We don’t know what match rules the Roulette Wheel is going to land on. Whether it is a tame Standard Rules match or a violent Hardcore Rules, or better yet a match with No Rules, I’m gonna win! Thanks to the Network for putting up my graphic. You can take it down now.

The Network removes the graphic and the scene returns to Bill and Bea and Iris sitting on their couch in their living room.

Bill:  Finn you’re one of those fake wrestlers that disgust me and I’ll give you the information you need so you know why you’re pathetic and that your attitude that you think you’re better than everyone else is bullshit. So, Finn, let me talk about wrestlers like you who have to make up identities, personas, and wear a false face, to make yourself appear to be bigger, badder, or stronger, than everyone else in the Federation. Some wrestlers wear a mask and claim they are invincible. Then we see you see them lose matches. Some wrestlers wear face paint to try to improve their look to appear aggressive then we see them lose matches when someone slaps their face paint off and defeats them. Some wrestlers take a deep breath and puff out their chest to appear larger than they really are but we watch them lose matches because they are full of fluff and no substance. Some wrestlers claim they have the pinning combinations or submission holds that guarantee them a win then we watch them lose again and again and again because their pinning combinations or submission holds didn’t work well on their opponents. How do all these pathetic ass clowns, especially you Finn, compare to me? I’m the real deal. I’m 100 percent who I say I am. I don’t have steroids in me. I don’t contain additives or artificial flavorings or colors. While the rest of you are fake goods I’m the real deal. Finn when you step into the ring with me you face a 100 percent honest and true wrestler and you’ll lose the match.

Bea:  I’ve heard the backstage talk and there’s a lot of stuff going around that Finn Whelan is known for obtaining help in matches to try to get a cheap win. I’m in Bill’s corner, as his Manager, to ensure nobody tries any crap to try to get a cheap win for Finn Whelan.

CUT AND BRUISED BUT I’M STILL STANDING

Bill: Okay I got a few dings, cuts, and scratches, from my Thumbtacks Rules Match to defend my Roulette Championship against Alexander Raven at Blaze of Glory X. Minor stuff in comparison of the years of violent and vicious attacks I took from my half-brother Chris Shipman. With all the weapons involved in my match with Alexander Raven I took some cuts and bruises in the match but I’m fine and thanks for asking. After slamming Alexander Raven into the Thumbtacks for the win I’m still Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion and that’s all that matters. Just remember what happened Alex. You went all-out from the start of the match and what happened is you went too much all-out. And what happened is the same thing that happened in our first match. You were doing well then you distracted your attention off of me and I took advantage of it. Simple as that. The bottom line can be summed up using lyrics from Elton John’s song I’M STILL STANDING. No matter what all my opponents have attempted to do they’ve all failed and I’m still standing as Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion. And, Finn, if you think you’re going to change that and earn my Roulette Championship away from me you better think hard and be prepared for a loss to me. Nobody else could defeat me and for damn sure you’re not gonna do it. After I defeat you I’ll use the lyrics from Elton John’s son and yell out I’M STILL STANDING as Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion!

Bea:  Even though Bill went through years of violent matches with his half-brother Chris Shipman, and you all might think it takes a long time for Bill to heal from his recent cuts and bruises, you’re wrong. . .dead wrong. Bill is a quick healer and when Climax Control 326 arrives Bill will be 100 percent ready to easily beat down and defeat Finn Whelan.

IMPROVISE

Bill:  What do you call is when you are doing something and you need to change things up to make it work well? They call that improvise. What do you do when you love eating Spam, and you love eating sandwiches, and you love eating Spam sandwiches, but when you try to make a Spam sandwich with bread all you get is a soggy sandwich? I came up with a solution. I love Spam and I love Hash Browns. So I came up with the concept a Hashbrowns Spam Sandwich. I fry up the Spam in a frying pan and cook up four hash brown patties in my air fryer at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. I spread a little ketchup on the hash browns and create a Hashbrowns Span Sandwich. I’ll ask the Network to please put up the graphic I sent to them. Thanks.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

The Network puts up the graphic of Bill’s Hashbrowns Span Sandwich. The graphic stays on the screen long enough for everyone to take in the graphic then the Network removes the graphic and Bill continues with his comments.

Bill:  See what I did there Finn? I don’t follow the crowd. I don’t do the same things everyone else does. I don’t follow what everyone else does just because everyone else follows what they do. I do my own thing. I create my own circumstances. I initiate my own advantages. I win wrestling matches, and I’ve been successful in defending my Roulette Championship, because I think during wrestling matches and I anticipate what opponents are going to do. Unlike you who make false claims and try to do high-risk maneuvers, which cause you to fail more than you succeed, I stick with what works for me. Try all the silly stuff if you want Whelan. Try all the high-flying maneuvers you want Finn. Do whatever you feel you need to do to get the win over me. No matter what you try you’ll fail.

Bill lets out a loud laugh then he regains his composure and continues with his comments.

TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS

Bill:  Finn there’s a term TALKING OUT YOUR ASS and it has numerous interpretations of what that term means. Examples are to make an obviously false comment or claim. Another is to jump into a discussion on a topic you have no prior knowledge of and it usually results in the person looking like an idiot. Another definition is talking bullshit or nonsense. And, finally, the definition of TALKING OUT YOUR ASS, also known as VERBAL DIARRHEA, is often perpetrated by idiots who love to state their opinion on topics without having prior knowledge or information on the subject before jumping into the discussion. With that in mind I want everyone on the Sin City Wrestling Roster, especially you Finn, to understand that I plan on shoving your head up your ass so you’ll literally be talking out of your ass when you speak. And if you spread rumors by calling others on your cell phone I’ll shove your cell phone up your ass so you’ll be calling people and they will tell you that you are literally talking out of your ass.

Bea:  I wish to make one final comment then I need to bring Iris out for her walk. Finn we know you’re a desperate wrestler. We know you want to make a name for yourself. We know you’ll try to get others to get involved in the match so that you can claim it wasn’t YOU who cheated it was someone outside of the match who cheated. Try all you want punk but you won’t succeed. Others have tried and failed. When you try and fail you will get tossed on top of the other losers Bill took out. Come on Iris! Let’s go for a walk!

Iris gets excited to go for her walk and she jumps off the couch and runs to the front door so she can allow Mommy Bea to put her harness and leash on. We return our attention to Bill.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Oh, Finn, how it sucks to be you. How it sucks that you’ll walk into the ring over-confident only for me to send you home a pathetic loser. You may think you are something great but in reality you’re pathetic and you suck. Thinking you’re something, and actually being that something, are two different things and they are polar opposites.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  A Parakeet may think it is a Hawk but in reality it is still a small weak Parakeet. A house cat can think it is a Lion but in reality it is still a small house cat. I worm can think it is a Python but in reality it is still a little worm. A house fly can think it is a fighter jet but it is still an insignificant house fly. You, Finn, think you’re something you’re not just as the Parakeet, house cat, worm, and house fly think they’re something they’re not. Those creatures I mentioned are still what they are no matter what they think they are.

Bill laughs loudly.

Bill:  Take a look in a mirror Finn. What you see looking back at you is a pathetic piece of shit who hasn’t earned their shot at my Roulette Championship. I’ve never had a shot at a Championship handed to me because Management felt sorry for me like they feel sorry for you. I’ve earned every shot at a Championship that I’ve received. Now, Whelan, although their attempt to make you feel better, by giving you a shot at my Roulette Championship makes you feel like you’re actually worth something, you and I both know the truth. What I want when I defend my Roulette Championship is an opponent who is a legitimate challenge and not a token sacrifice thrown my way. Yes, Finn, that’s what you are. A token sacrifice to me. . .the god of Roulette Champions.

Bill roars with very loud laughter.

Bill:  You see, Finn, the difference between me and you is that you cower away from adversity when you get hurt or injured. Early in my life my father taught me to not let adversity keep me down. He told me if something knocks me down I need to get up and take on and defeat what knocked me down. Father told me about his Navy shipmates who got injured during World War II and yet even when cut and bruised and bleeding they continued to fight the enemy until they won the battle. I learned that as a young boy and I brought that concept to my wrestling career. I’m in the sport of wrestling to overcome everything and every type of wrestler. I’m in the sport of wrestling to show the world what a great wrestler is about. Yes I get bruised, cut, hurt, and bleed, just like everyone else. But that’s where the similarity ends. Whereas other wrestlers give up when they get bruised, cut, hurt, or they are bleeding, I get more aggressive, I power through the pain, and I come out victorious. I’m the total opposite of a pathetic wrestler as you are.

Bill roars extremely loud with laughter then he regains his composure to continue his comments.s

Bill:  Did I piss you off with my comments Finn? I did? Good! That’s what I intended to do! Please enjoy the rest of your time leading up to Climax Control 326 being healthy and without pain because when our match is done, and my hand is raised in victory, and I retain my Roulette Championship, you’ll crawl home and nurse your wounds for weeks.


14
Climax Control Archives / I WILL BLIND YOU WITH MY SHINE
« on: February 23, 2022, 06:18:02 PM »
* Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus used by permission of Gerrit *

I WILL BLIND YOU WITH MY SHINE

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has a match scheduled for Climax Control 324 against Mercedes Vargas. This is the second time Bea is facing off against Mercedes so we will see how she does this time around.

CLEAN UP ON AISLE THREE

We are taken back about one year when Bea Barnhart was shopping at the Kroger Grocery Store located at 950 Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia, which is near the home of her and Bill and Iris. Bea is pushing her shopping cart up and down the aisles looking for the items on her shopping list. She turns the corner and starts to go down Aisle Three when she is blocked by the cart of a woman shopper. Although the aisles in Kroger are wide enough for two carts to pass each other this woman shopper had her cart in a position that blocked Bea from going down the aisle. Bea, being a nice person, politely asks the woman to move her cart so she can get by.

Bea:  Excuse me? Could you please move your shopping cart a bit so I could get by?

The woman shopper is either ignoring Bea or she cannot hear Bea talking to her so Bea again asks her but in a louder voice.

Bea:  Excuse me! Could you please move your shopping cart a bit so I could get by?

Again the woman either cannot hear Bea or she is deliberately ignoring her. Bea goes a bit louder this time.

Bea:  Excuse me! Could you please move your shopping cart a bit so I could get by?

For the third time the woman fails to respond and move her cart. Bea reaches out and gently moves the woman’s shopping cart about one foot so she can get her own cart past the woman’s cart. This is when the woman gets upset and responds.

Woman Shopper:  What the hell are you doing? You don’t touch my shopping cart! Who do you think you are?

Bea:  Excuse me but I politely asked you to please move your shopping cart so I could get by and you apparently ignored me. So I moved your car1 one foot so I could get my cart by and you have a problem with that? It isn’t your cart anyway as it belongs to Kroger! And, by the way, I’m Bea Barnhart, one of the Superstar wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling Federation.

The angry woman shopper takes offense to Bea and she charges at Bea but Bea easily side-steps the woman’s attack which causes the woman to slam into the shelves in the aisles and items fall off the shelf onto the store floor. The woman gets up and again tries to hit Bea but Bea easily out-maneuvers the woman. The woman again charges at Bea but Bea ducks under her attempt and flips the ignorant woman over her head where she lands in her own shopping cart causing the shopping cart to flip over and lands on top of the angry woman who is nearly unconscious now. The Assistant Manager of Kroger walks down the aisle and informs Bea they have the incident she had with the woman on surveillance camera if she wishes to sue the woman for her attack. Bea tells the Assistant Manager that kicking the woman’s ass is enough punishment for the woman. Bea continues her shopping with a smile on her face while the Assistant Manager makes an announcement for his Employees over the announcing system.

Kroger Assistant Manager:  Can I have several employees to clean up the spill on Aisle Three? Thanks!

Bea hears the Assistant Manager’s announcement of the spill to be cleaned up on aisle three and she cannot help but burst out laughing.

Bea:  HA HA HAR!!! That will teach others that you don’t take me lightly and you damn sure don’t attack me!

Bea continues shopping as the scene fades out.

LAYING OUT THE TRUTH TO MERCEDES. . .

The scene switches and we are in the hotel room of Bea and Bill Barnhart. The camera person is already set up and ready to broadcast Bea’s comments for her upcoming match. Bea and Bill have a very nice room that includes a small sauna area. Bill is running around searching for Iris as she seems to have gone hiding on him again. While Bill hunts down Iris to get her to stay out of trouble Bea sits down on the couch to present her comments for her upcoming match with Mercedes Vargas.

Bea:  So, Mercedes, we meet again. It looks like Management has an interest in me to move up and start challenging for Championships again. I know what you’re probably thinking Mercedes. We had one match a long time ago. It was at Climax Control 277 on August 23, 2020. Since I started my wrestling career in January 2020 I didn’t have many matches when we met at Climax Control 277. I know you want to take me lightly because I don’t have as many wins as you have over your long career but taking me lightly will cause you to lose our upcoming match. I remember an incident where some jerk woman shopper at Kroger Grocery Store thought I wasn’t a threat when I politely asked her to move her shopping cart and she refused to move it. Then when I moved her cart a mere one foot so I could move my cart down the aisle she wasn’t just verbal in her assault on me for touching “her” cart. She decided to lunge at me and attack me. I easily side-stepped her pathetic attempts to inflict harm on me and I left her laying on the floor of Aisle Three while I continued shopping. Do you want to take me lightly Mercedes? You can talk about the matches I haven’t won lately but looking at your performance lately you’re not doing much better than me. That changes this Sunday evening when I soundly defeat you and move up in the rankings while you get defeated and move down in the rankings.

WHERE’S IRIS?

Bill walks around the hotel room continuing to look for Iris. Bea is not happy that Bill is walking through her camera shot.

Bea:  What’s up with you looking for Iris? This hotel room isn’t exceptionally large so there can’t be many places where Iris can hide. Are you sure you didn’t leave the door open and she might be out in the hallway roaming around?

Bill:  I’m sure Iris is inside the hotel room hiding. I think she believes I’m going to take her for a bath and you know how she gets when it is bath time. I’ll continue having a look around. . .

Bill is interrupted in mid-sentence by a loud knocking on the hotel room door. Bill answers the door to see Senor Vinnie at the door. Bill invites Vinnie in. Vinnie, Bill, and Bea, get into a conversation about Iris.

Bea:  Ahem! Boys! Please make this quick as I’m airing comments for my match at Climax Control 324.

Senor Vinnie:  Bill have you seen Pete? I’ve looked everywhere for him but can’t find him. I thought maybe he was here visiting Iris.

Bill:  Nope. Pete isn’t here. In fact I’ve been looking everywhere for Iris. She’s usually good at hiding from me when she thinks I’m going to give her a bath but this seems to be something different.

As Bill and Vinnie look around the room they hear a noise coming from the small sauna in their hotel room. Bill, Vinnie, and Bea, look over at the door to the sauna. The door slowly opens and they see Pete the Cactus strut out of the sauna with a towel wrapped around him and he’s humming to himself. Pete is smoking a cigar he is holding in one hand and sipping a mixed drink he is holding in his other hand. Right after Pete comes out of the sauna Iris walks out and she has a small towel on her head and another one around her backside and she has a huge grin on her face. Bill looks at Vinnie and Vinnie looks at Bill and then the two of them and Bea look at Pete and Iris.

Bill:  Iris!!!

Senor Vinnie:  Pete!!!

Bill:  Come on Vinnie! You need to get control of Pete!

Senor Vinnie:  What? As if Iris is under control? You need to focus on getting her under control also. I think Iris is corrupting Pete.

Bill:  Iris? Corrupting Pete? More like the other way around! You know how the saying goes right? Driving Pete to be corrupt is a very short drive.

Bill and Vinnie realize they honestly aren’t going to control either Iris or Pete, as those two will do whatever they want, so they burst out laughing, then high five each other, shake hands, and then they look at Bea who has a stern look on her face.

Bea:  Iris! Pete! You two get over here now! Bill! Vinnie! You two get over here also!

Pete and Iris slowly walk over and stand in front of Bea. Bill and Vinnie stand a bit away from Bea not knowing how upset she really is.

Bea:  Iris you get in your room and get ready for bed now! How dare you scare us like that going into the sauna with Pete without letting us know where you were. And as for you, Pete, you go with Senor Vinnie, and get back to your hotel room. I’m going to deal with you and Iris tomorrow. And as for you, Bill, and you  Vinnie, you two need to watch over Iris and Pete more closely than you’re doing. If you don’t take control of Pete and Iris I’ll damn sure take control of all of you! Sheesh! Now you four get out of here so I can continue with my comments for my upcoming match.

Vinnie takes Pete and they leave the hotel room to return to their own room. Bill walks off with Iris to bring her into her room to settle in for the evening. The camera returns to focus on Bea.

LAYING OUT THE TRUTH TO MERCEDES. . .CONTINUED

Bea:  Well I took care of those four quickly. And on Sunday evening I’m going to take care of you quickly Mercedes. In fact an incident that I observed recently near our home in Lawrenceville, Georgia, is a perfect representation of how unobservant and uncaring you are.

Bea picks up a bottle of iced tea and takes a drink.

Bea:  I believe the laws concerning Police chasing someone in their car, or a fire truck or ambulance on a call, with sirens blaring, is universal. When you’re driving and you hear a siren from an emergency vehicle you are to stop and give them way. Even more important is that if you are at an intersection and you hear the sirens you’re to stay put and not cross the intersection as the emergency vehicles have the right of way.

Bea drinks more iced tea before continuing.

Bea:  Here’s an incident me and Bill observed about a month ago while we were driving down Herrington Road and we were at the intersection of Herrington Road and Cruse road. We were stopped at the red light on Herrington. We could clearly hear numerous sirens blaring so we knew either a fire truck, ambulance, or police car, was coming toward the intersection but we didn’t know from which direction. About fifteen seconds later it was clear the sirens were coming from Cruse road toward the intersection with Herrington Road where we were located. At that time the signal for us on Herrington Road was red and the signal for Cruse Road was green. Then the signal changed to where it was red for Cruse Road and green for Herrington Road where we were located. Although we had the green light on Herrington Road the law states the emergency vehicles with their sirens and lights on have the right of way and can go through the intersection even though the light for them was red. The law states to stay where you are and not attempt to cross an intersection when you hear sirens even though you have the green light. So what does the car in front of us do? They hit the gas and fly into the middle of the intersection just when the Ambulance comes up Cruse Road to go through the intersection. The driver of the car that drove into the intersection freaked out when they say the Ambulance so they hit their brakes stopping in the middle of the intersection and nearly got broadsided by the Ambulance. That’s pure stupidity on their part. That’s moronic behavior not understanding what could have happened to them. It is an arrogant mindset and it could have ended up with them getting seriously injured or killed.

Bea finishes her iced tea.

Bea:  Why did I tell you that incident Mercedes? I told you that incident because you’re like the dumb ass driver who failed to obey the laws and nearly got themselves injured or killed. They didn’t stay put in their car. They heard the sirens like we did. They decided to cross the intersection just as the ambulance came hurtling through the intersection. Then when these jerks realized they made a huge mistake they got so scared that instead of clearing the intersection they slammed on their brakes and stopped in front of the ambulance and nearly got broadsided. So, Mercedes, if you want to be like that driver who made a hazardous maneuver that could have ended horribly bad for them then do so. If you want to fail to obey the rules and laws then do so. If you make a decision that puts you in harm’s way then do so. Just remember that whatever you do I’ll counter it and take advantage of your mistakes and take you out. I’m on the move up the ladder of success and Management has taken notice of me. You, on the other hand, are well beyond your expiration date and you need to be disposed of like a container of out-of-expiration-date spoiled milk.

LOOK TO THE FUTURE…DON’T DWELL ON THE PAST

Bea:  I’ve noticed something about you Mercedes. From the comments I hear from other wrestlers they also noticed it. You dwell on the past. I admit you had a very nice past and held many Championships and some of them for a long reign. However, recently, you’ve been losing a lot of matches. You seem to forget that there is a thing called the future and the future isn’t always kind when it comes to aging wrestlers. When you held all those Championships and were able to successfully defend them you were younger. Now as you’re getting older you seem to dwell on the past as you have nothing from the present to brag about and damn sure you have nothing in your future that you can be proud of.

Bea flashes a huge grin into the camera.

Bea:  Mercedes if you happen to get a win over me in our match I’ll be honest and go public and commend you on the victory. But, Mercedes, that is a huge IF you can defeat me. However when I defeat you everyone will see you do what you always do when you lose a match. You get on camera and Twitter and bitch, moan, complain, and claim the loss you took was invalid even though your opponent legally defeated you. Then you will go off and list all the Championships you’ve held, how long you held them, and how, overall, have a better list of accomplishments than everyone else on the Roster. That’s a major difference between us Mercedes. Where you have to boast about things that used to be. . .you have to brag about past accomplishments. . .you have to claim your opponent didn’t legally defeat you. . .I tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You need to be damn glad they don’t hook you up to a Polygraph machine because with all the lies you tell the Lie Detector machine would explode.

Bea bursts out laughing then regains her composure to continue with her comments.

Bea:  Be honest with yourself Mercedes. Stop trying to be what you were years ago. You don’t have now what you had then. All your smack talk won’t get you a win in our match. All your smack talk won’t get you shots at Championships. All your smack talk will get you is a beat down and having my hand raised in victory. You are the past of Sin City Wrestling and I’m the future of Sin City Wrestling. Deal with it!

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network and they tell them to cut their camera feed and they do and our screen goes black.


15
Climax Control Archives / BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT QUALFIER MATCH
« on: February 09, 2022, 09:20:40 AM »
BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT QUALIFIER

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart and Masque are facing Kat Jones and Mark Cross in the Blast From The Past Tournament. Winning this Qualifier match advances Masque and Bill into the next round of the Tournament on their way to winning the Tournament.

SHOPPING AT KROGER SUPERMARKET

The scene on our screen changes and we see Bill Barnhart at the Kroger Supermarket on the corner of Cruse Road and Herrington Road in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The camera person assigned to Bill follows him around the store while he shops.

Bill:  While most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling like to show you their sparring matches, or them having a drinking party where they get drunk, or male wrestlers intimidating and attacking women, or some other things that come across as the same old thing being the same old thing, I’m original, and honest, and willing to show you my real life adventures in addition to my wrestling abilities. Although I’m a wrestler in Sin City Wrestling I’m also a citizen of the community where I live. I shop at this Kroger Supermarket in Lawrenceville all the time. When I’m purchasing a lot of items I’ll drive my vehicle here to load my purchases in. If I only have a few items to get the walk from our house to this Kroger Supermarket is about five minutes. So please sit back and relax and watch me shop as I enjoy shopping. I’ll get to my comments concerning our Blast From The Past Tournament match at Climax Control 322 after I return home from shopping.

While going up and down the aisles Bill sees a young mother with three kids ranging from 1 year old to maybe 4 to 6 years old. She is looking up toward the top shelves, and it is obvious she is not tall enough to reach items on the top shelf, even more so with three young kids to attend to, so Bill stops to offer assistance.

Bill:  Hi. Is there anything I could help you get from the top shelf since you have three small children to watch while you’re shopping?

Woman:  DOES IT LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP?

Bill:  Geez! No need to be a asshole about it! I’m just trying to help out in case you need something off the top shelf. It is hard for anyone to reach up to the shelves and even more so when you have three young children to take care of while shopping.

Woman:  I DON’T NEED YOUR F*CKING HELP!

Bill:  What? Gawd! I hope you’re not married! Wouldn’t want to know that some poor man has to put up with your bitchy attitude all the time. This is the thanks I get for offering assistance to you? That’s messed up!

The woman storms off down the aisle and disappears when she turns the corner. Bill continues his shopping and when he turns down one of the aisles to browse the products he sees the woman again and this time she’s on her cell phone. Since she’s talking with a man on speaker mode Bill assumes the person she’s talking to is her husband. Bill stops and listens to the conversation.

Woman: THERE’S SOME GUY HERE IN KROGER ASKING ME IF I NEED HELP TO GET SOMETHING OFF THE TOP SHELF. DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED F*CKING HELP? WHY DON’T YOU COME HERE TO KROGER AND KICK HIS ASS!

Knowing the woman is on speaker talking with her husband and telling him to come down to Kroger to confront him and attack him Bill gets into the conversation.

Bill:  Ooooo so you’re telling your husband to come to Kroger and attack me huh? Yeah come on down here and try to attack me and I’ll lay your ass out in the aisle while your smart ass wife watches. I did nothing wrong except offer to get something off the top shelf for her as she has your three young children with her while she’s shopping. Your wife goes off on me, then you go off on me, then you threaten me? Bring it on because if you lay a finger on me I’ll knock you out and you’ll be arrested by the police.

Bill listens for the woman to confirm that her husband is coming down to attack me. After Bill hears her tell her husband not to come down to Kroger as he is likely to get hurt badly by Bill the woman hangs up the phone and tries to apologize to Bill.

Woman:  Uh. . .uh. . .I’m really sorry about what happened. It isn’t easy to do grocery shopping with three small children coming along. My husband isn’t much help taking care of them. Can we just part and go our own way and forget this happened?

Bill agrees as he feels bad that the husband of this woman is a jerk. The woman walks to the checkout lane to check out. Bill continues shopping and when he’s done he goes through the self-checkout and pays for his items. The camera person follows Bill into the parking lot. After Bill loads his Hyundai Santa Fe with his purchases the camera person gets into their car to follow Bill to his home where they will continue to air Bill’s comments for his Blast From The Past Tournament match.

BACK AT BILL’S HOME

Bill and the camera person arrive at Bill’s home in a very short time since Kroger Supermarket is less than a half mile from his home. Bill brings his purchases into the house while the cameraman sets up their equipment in the living room. The camera goes live and the camera person focuses on Bill as he puts his purchases away. When Bill is done he walks over and sits on the couch. Bill is then joined by his wife, Bea, and their English Bulldog Iris, on the couch.

Bill:  Iris I need to ask you something before I go into my comments for my upcoming match. When Pete the Cactus called you for a video call this morning how come I heard the music YOU ROCKED ME ALL NIGHT LONG by AC/DC play?

Iris turns her face away from Daddy Bill.

Bill:  I know you were in the house all night but for you to have that song play when Pete calls you for a video call is not appropriate as it gives people the idea some stuff is going on that shouldn’t be going on. So, Iris, what are you gonna do about it?

Iris lets out a groan then shoves her head under Daddy Bill’s arm and Bill pets her and Iris calms down and lays her head on Daddy Bill’s lap.

Bea:  Iris we’ll have a talk later. Right now Daddy Bill needs to air comments on his upcoming match.

Iris:  *SIGH*

THE KEY IN THE BLAST FROM THE PAST TOURNAMENT IS HAVING AN OUTSTANDING TAG TEAM PARTNER

Bill:  Holy Sh*t Batman!!! I knew Masque was talented, interesting, dark, and aggressive, but now after hearing her comment on our upcoming Blast From The Past Tournament match against Kat Jones and Mark Cross. . .well. . .I guess the only thing I can say is I feel a bit sad for Mark and Kat having to face our team. Sure is a great feeling to have a fantastic Tag Team partner in Masque.

Bea:  I echo your comments Bill.

Bill:  I want everyone to know how thrilled I was when the drawing of names to create Tag Teams for the Blast From The Past Tournament gave me Masque as my partner. For those who may not have seen Masque in action I’ll give you an idea what she’s about. Everyone is familiar with the ZZ Top song LEGS. The lyrics of the song go She's got legs, she knows how to use them, She never begs, she knows how to choose them.  I’ve modified their lyrics to fit my fantastic tag team partner Masque. My version goes She’s got skills, she knows how to use them. She never begs, she knows how to choose them. Masque proved that against Kaiju Rainbow recently. I’m confident when the Bombshells get tagged into our match Masque will make quick work of Kat Jones and we’ll win the Blast From The Past Tournament match then  go on to win the overall Tournament.

Bea:  I can see Masque applying the Mandible Claw on Kat. Then the next thing is that Mark, who is freaking out over the loss in the match, will violate the rules to try to get Masque to release the Mandible Claw she has on Kat. Unfortunately that will either lead to a Disqualification of their team or Bill getting tagged in and whupping the crap out of Mark Cross.

Bill:  Some people get paired up with a partner who is totally insane and blows the match for them. Some get paired up with someone who is violent but lacks other skills in the ring and they blow the match for them. Others get paired with someone who cheats and gets their team disqualified. The list goes on for a long way. But me? I got teamed with Masque. She’s a great all-around wrestler. She has great wrestling skills. Some try to classify her as possibly insane. Some claim she might be too violent in the ring. There are some who make claims that she cheats. I’ve done research and I find that Masque may be a little bit of each of those but she has something that maybe one in ten wrestlers has. What is that you ask? The ability to focus on winning wrestling matches. The ability to take out opponents. The ability to intimidate others. The ability and desire to win. Masque is a unique wrestler in that she is everything you want her to be but if you’re her opponent she is everything you wish she was not. I was blessed in the draw for teams for the Blast From The Past Tournament with the draw of Masque as my partner.

Bea:  I totally agree with you Bill. Would you tell the viewers why you’re different from most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling?

Bill:  I don’t copy other wrestlers. I have my own style and I do my own thing. I’m one who became successful because I don’t back down from anyone. I don’t back down from anything. Nothing intimidates me. I stand up and take the fight to my opponents. I won’t go into an overly long dissertation on what happened to create me as I am but I’ll present the two incidents that made me what I am today.

Bea:  Kat and Mark need to pay attention to these incidents so they’ll understand why they’ll lose to Bill and Masque.

WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER

Bill:  I spent ten years fending off the murder intentions of my half-brother Chris Shipman. That’s not a figure of speech people. He wanted to literally murder me as he got found guilty in a Court of Law for the death of our sister and he tried to blame her death on me. I’m still here and doing great and Chris Shipman hasn’t been heard from since we both left the previous wrestling federation we worked in. That should tell you all you need to know about me and what I’m about.

Bea:  Tell them about your confrontations with Satan.

Bill:  When I worked in another wrestling federation, where my half-brother Chris Shipman also worked, Satan came to me annually to challenge me for my soul for eternity. Satan failed nine years in a row. Of course Satan came back the next year and I told him this has to be the last time he challenges me for my soul. He agreed and we had a binding contract. The bottom line was that  if Satan were to win this time and obtain my soul then I’m his to do with what he wants. If I win Satan is denied the opportunity to challenge me for my soul again for eternity. You all think Satan is extremely intelligent but he isn’t. I told him if I allow him to have his minions be on the voting crew to decide who wins our contest then he has to allow me to be the one to choose the challenge we have to perform in order to try to win. Proving he wasn’t thinking clearly that evening he agreed. Satan called one hundred of his minions to vote on our contest. I told Satan we had to have a dance-off. Satan roared with laughter because he felt this was an easy contest for him to win but I knew I was going to win. I even allowed Satan to go first. He did his dance routine and then I did mine. I did my dance routine to the music SHAKE YOUR BOOTY. When I was done me and Satan stood there waiting for his minions to vote on who would win. When the results were tallied on the vote by the minions they stated they gave seventy-five votes for Satan to win. Figuring he had won the contest to obtain my soul Satan started laughing uncontrollably. Unfortunately, for him anyway, when the minions then gave their vote on my performance and they gave me ninety of their one hundred votes. Yes I defeated Satan by fifteen votes and the votes came from Satan’s minions. I looked at Satan and reminded him of our agreement and since I won the tenth contest out of ten contests against him the agreement is he can never challenge me for my soul again for eternity. So, Mark and Kat, if you two piss ants think I’m intimidated by you then you’re more ignorant than I thought you were!

Bea:  That’s part of the reason Bill is confident in wrestling and life in general. Defeating one of the most deranged and mentally twisted persons in his half-brother Chris Shipman and defeating Satan for eternity is empowering. Bill are you going to tell the viewers the amusing thing you told me the other day about a child and a balloon?

Bill:  You’ve all seen a child with a balloon. They’re holding the string, smiling, happy, and admiring the balloon, then someone comes along with a pin and pops the balloon. The look on the child’s face is priceless! In an instant they went from having fun to being sad. . .having it all to having nothing. . .happy with the world to mad at the world but not able to do a damn thing about it. Yep! So, Mark and Kat, that’s how you two are going to feel when me and Masque defeat you. POP!!!

PAST HISTORY

Bill:  I wish to talk to you, Mark, for a moment. I’m an honest person so I’ll continue in my honesty concerning the history we have against each other. Our first match against each other was on August 4, 2019, at Climax Control 244. I lost to you by pinfall and I salute you on that win. Our second match against each other was on November 3, 2019, at Climax Control 251, and again you won over me by pinfall. So we enter our Blast From The Past match with you 2-0 against me. But, Mark, before you crow like a horny Rooster after the Hens those matches were over two years ago. Things have changed during that time for both of us. I see you were World Champion for about five weeks and that you won the Blast From The Past Tournament on April 12, 2020. But, alas, that was then and this is now. While you were a short-time Champion I have held the Roulette Championship since October 3, 2021. So shall we compare Championships for just a moment? You have around five weeks as World Champion and I’ll reach 133 days on the day we participate in Climax Control 322. Hell of a big difference comparing our Championship reigns eh?. If you want to bring up my Blast From The Past history from 2021 you’re welcome to do so. I would have easily won the Tournament had I not been teamed with a partner who spent all her time disrespecting me and throwing the match. This year the Tournament is different. I have a great partner who is talented, powerful, agile, and aggressive, and I know she has my back in the match and she knows I have hers.

Bea:  I had a match against Kat Jones at Climax Control 319 on December 12, 2021 by pinfall. Kat is a good wrestler but my observation is that Masque is a fantastic wrestler. I see Bill and Masque with an easy win in this match.

Bill:  I agree with you that our team will have the win in this match but I’m also aware that Kat Jones and Mark Cross are not going to do the trained dog routine of roll over and play dead. The key is to go into this match with confidence, a respect for my partner Masque, and the ability to tag in and out of the match to allow both of us to have the opportunity to pick up the win and move along in the Blast From The Past Tournament.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  In the world of finance the term BOTTOM LINE refers to the final totals after the accounting is done. If you have a profit on the bottom line they say you are IN THE BLACK but if you have a deficit on the bottom line it means you have taken a loss and you are IN THE RED.

Bea:  And the bottom lines for this match are?

Bill:  The bottom line for me and Masque is we have a huge profit and will win and move on in the Blast From The Past Tournament. We’ll continue winning until we’re the last team standing. But, Kat and Mark, you have a huge deficit which means you two are taking the loss and going home to watch our team continue on, and win, the Blast From The Past Tournament.

Bill informs the camera person he is done presenting his comments and the camera person calls into the Network to let them know. The Network cuts the feed to the camera person and returns to their regular programming for this time slot.


16
Climax Control Archives / NO MERCY
« on: February 02, 2022, 08:48:44 AM »
I’LL HAVE NO MERCY ON KAIJU RAINBOW

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart is scheduled for a match against Kaiju Rainbow for Climax Control 321. Bill is not performing at this Climax Control but he will be in his Blast From the Past Tournament match at Climax Control 322. Bill has Climax Control 321 off but he will be at the arena to watch Bea in her match.

AT RANDY’S PERENNIALS & WATER GARDENS IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

The scene opens and we see Bea Barnhart, and her English Bulldog Iris, at Randy's Perennials & Water Gardens located at 523 West Crogan Street in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bea:  Let’s look around Iris, I want to find Fig trees that have the Figs that are purple inside. I think the fruit trees are down this direction.

Bea and Iris start walking down the walkway to where the fruit trees are located. When Bea and Iris pass the section where the succulents are located Iris stops and won’t move even though Bea is pulling on her leash. Bea continues pulling but Iris won’t budge. When Bea looks at Iris she notices Iris is staring at numerous Cactus and we assume that keys here to think about her boyfriend Pete the Cactus.

Bea:  Sorry Iris but those Cactus are not Pete. You’ll be with him soon enough. Come on! We need to get to the section with fruit trees. I want to purchase several Fig trees that bear Figs with that are purple inside.

Iris reluctantly follows Bea but she keeps looking back at the Cactus and moans and cries.

BEA AND IRIS RETURN TO THEIR HOME IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

Bea and Iris return home and Bill comes downstairs to greet them as they enter the house. Iris runs upstairs and Bill is surprised how quickly the can move when she wants to.

Bill:  I guess Iris went to get on her laptop to have a video call with Pete the Cactus. Did you find the purple Fig trees?

Bea:  They didn’t have them in stock but they’ll come in shortly.

Bill:  Okay. I’ll go up and stay with Iris to keep an eye on her video call with Pete while you’re airing comments for your match against Kaiju Rainbow. How come there’s no camera person here to air your comments?

Bea:  I‘m airing my comments using my laptop computer. I’m connected to the Network and they’ll broadcast my comments real-time.

Bill:  Oh. . .Okay. . .I’ll have to start doing that also.

Bill goes upstairs and Bea gets on her laptop to air her comments for her upcoming match.

NO PITY. . .NO MERCY

Bea:  Before I go into my comments for my upcoming match against Kaiju Rainbow I wish to comment on Bill being in the Blast From The Past Tournament. I’m honored to have Bill in the Blast From The Past Tournament and I’ll be in his corner as his Manager for all his matches. I’m not going to lie to you but I hope Masque and Bill end up facing Mikah and Mac Bane in the Tournament. I want to see Mikah fail and Mac get beat down by Bill since Mac is the ringleader in the attacks that took place against Bill, Vinnie, and myself recently.

Bea holds her hand up in a fist and shakes it at the camera. She then grabs a bag of Skittles candy and aggressively rips the bag open. Bea downs the entire bag of Skittles in a short period of time then she glares into the webcam on her computer.

Bea:  You know that the tagline for Skittles candy is TASTE THE RAINBOW but you just saw me destroy the rainbow by ripping open the bag of Skittles and devouring all of them quickly. That’s how I plan on doing you in our match Kaiju. Just as I did with this bag of Skittles I’ll grab you, rip you open, and spill your rainbow all over the ring. TASTE THE RAINBOW they say? I say DESTROY THE RAINBOW!

Bea bursts out in laughter.

Bea:  I’ll be honest with you Kaiju. You managed to last longer in your match against Masque than I thought you would. When she locked in her Rapture Mandible Claw there was no escape for you. I’m sure you won’t mind if I also make you submit in our match right? I would expect you to talk a lot of crap leading up to our match but I’m not sure you’re able to talk very well after that Mandible Claw. Ha ha  ha!!!

DOES CATASTROPHE CREATE NEW THINGS

Bea:  Astronomers claim that planets were created when numerous celestial bodies crashed into each other. I call bullshit on that!. Things that crash into each other don’t create more complex and complete things. On the contrary two or more things crashing into each other usually destroys most of the objects that are crashing together. Have you ever seen an explosion in a junk yard and suddenly out of the results of the explosion a Boeing 747 Airliner, or a high rise building, or a car or truck, is created from the explosion? Hell no! Of course not! Well, Kaiju, I’m the explosion and you’re the trash in the dump. When I destroy you the pieces will not miraculously come together and create a new and better version of you. All it will do is splatter you around the ring. You’re going down for the count against me and there’s nothing you  can do about it.

PICK UP THE PIECES

Bea:  Kaiju are you familiar with the classic song titled PICK UP THE PIECES? It was done by the group Average White Band and it was very popular for the time when it came out. The lyrics are simple and go PICK UP THE PIECES repeated over and over again. Yeah, Kaiju, I’m going to break you into pieces and the crew at the Cox Pavilion in Las Vegas will come out and pick up your pieces.

FOLLOW THE COLORS

Bea:  Colors. Yeah! There are many colors out there. Some of the other wrestlers are green with envy over me. They always present the fact that I haven’t won as many matches as they have but then they’re green with envy because I’m prettier and more sexy than they could ever hope to be. Others are yellow because they have a yellow coward streak running down their spine. When the match action gets tough they often turn and run away. Others are blue because they always seem to be sad about something instead of enjoying every day to the fullest. Well, Kaiju, speaking of colors it is appropriate your name is Rainbow. Why? Because you’re green with envy that you can’t be like me. You’re jealous that you can never be as pretty and sexy as I am. You’re blue because you lost your match against Masque and you know you’re going to lose to me at Climax Control 321. But, Kaiju, after I put a big time beating on you know that you’ll also be black and blue from all the bruises I gave you. Enjoy the rainbow, Rainbow, because the storm named Bea is headed your way like a Category 5 hurricane and your rainbow is going to be obliterated.

OBSERVE, TAKE THE ADVANTAGE

Bea:  Well, Kaiju, how are you feeling so far hearing my comments concerning our match? Never mind telling me because I don’t care what you think or how you feel. I want you to know Bill has the video of your match against Masque and we’re going to go over the match. Bill has been in wrestling for 20 years and with his experience he’ll point things out to me so I can counter everything you have and to exploit your weaknesses. I’m honest concerning my work in the wrestling world that I didn’t come from a wrestling family as a lot of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling have. I haven’t been a wrestler for 20 years as my husband Bill has done. I officially started my wrestling career on January 20, 2020, in Sin City Wrestling. With Bill’s experience and training I get better every match. And for damn sure I’m going to get the better of you in our match. Hurricane Bea is about to hit and  you’re directly in my path of destruction.

Bea smiles and waves and then she cuts the feed to the Network that is broadcasting her comments and our screen goes dark.


17
Climax Control Archives / TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH
« on: December 09, 2021, 11:12:28 AM »
HERE KITTY KAT. . .TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH

Narrator:  Bea is in the opening match of Climax Control 319 against Kat Jones who is new to Sin City Wrestling but not to the sport of wrestling. I will now turn you over to Bea at her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

The scene changes to the home of Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The camera person gets a shot of the fireplace in the home that has a warm fire burning. We don’t see Bea so of course we wonder where she is. We also don’t see Bea’s husband Bill or their English Bulldog Iris we assume they went to the park to stay out of Bea’s presentation leading up to her match against Kat Jones.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

We don’t have to wait long before we see Bea walk into camera range holding a large trash, filled with trash, that is tied shut. Bea is told by the camera person that the camera is on and the Network is broadcasting. Bea is surprised they allowed that to happen but she cannot change what they did.

Bea:  Sorry the camera person only now told me they were live broadcasting. Please excuse me while I take out the trash. Watch me because when I face Kat Jones at Climax Control 319 I’m taking her, the trash, to the dumpster since we already have enough trashy wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling.

Bea walks to the patio door and slides it open. She walks to the trash can, opens the lid. and tosses the large bag of trash into it. Bea slams the lid shut and returns inside the house where she takes a chair near the fireplace.

Bea:  Let’s have a fireside chat shall we. I know Kat is watching so she should already know that where there is fire you’ll get burned. Kat just because you came from a pathetic wrestling federation where you managed to obtain a championship doesn’t mean shit here in Sin City Wrestling. You left a federation where a pathetic wrestler like you can win championships but you’re in the elite Federation of Sin City Wrestling now. I don’t care what the hell you did in another wrestling federation as you’re here in Sin City Wrestling now. You’re not going to walk into my territory and take me out. Nothing gets handed to anyone here. You either earn what you get or you get fired. Did you get that Kat? Fired…a fireside chat…that’s why I’m here sitting next to my fireplace. . .I’m gonna burn your ass in our match! Ha ha ha!!! I love analogies! Girl you don’t know how much fun I’m gonna have kicking your ass!

WHAT’S THE MARKET VALUE?

Bea:  Kat please allow me to give you information concerning the value of things. Me and Bill purchased our home on November 3, 2017 for $178,500. The house is a two-story house at 1,964 square feet with 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths and our lot size is 6,000 square feet. As of November 23, 2021, the website Zillow has our house valued at $309,700 which is $131,200 more than we paid for the house in November 2017. We made a smart investment. If you, and the viewers, also want to make a smart investment then you all need to place your bets on me to win our match and all of you will make a hell of a lot of money winning the bet. However if you all want to bet on Kat Jones to win then please don’t cry to me when you lose your money on that stupid bet. Kat there’s another reason I told you about the increase in the value of our home as it does, in fact, relate to those of us in the sport of wrestling. We took care of our house and that made sure the value increased. Had we let the house run down we wouldn’t be looking at over $309,000 in value. Same with wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. I started wrestling here and soon my value went way up. Others in the fed have pathetic wrestling abilities and their value has gone down and continues to go down. All you see them do these days is go public and demand shots at Championships when they’re not earning those shots. Never once have I demanded a shot at a Championship. It has been Management that decided which matches I got assigned to and which Championships I got a chance to challenge for. What’s the point of this you ask? When I defeat you this Sunday my value will continue to increase. When you lose to me your value will go way down. You don’t have to believe me at this time but I promise you’ll become a believer when you lose to me at Climax Control 319.

SOMEDAY NEVER COMES

Bea:  Kat you’re too young to remember the song SOMEDAY NEVER COMES by Creedence Clearwater Revival. One of the lyrics in the song goes ‘CAUSE SOMEDAY NEVER COMES. Kat I hate to have to be the wrestler to prove to you that just because you think that someday you’ll defeat me in a wrestling match that reality will never happen for you. Keep the song lyrics in your mind so you’ll always hear ‘CAUSE SOMEDAY NEVER COMES because you’ll never be able to defeat me. To give you an example there’s one wrestler in Sin City Wrestling who I’ve defeated FOUR times in FOUR matches. Yes, Kat, you heard me correctly. And even with that this same wrestler, who has never defeated me, claims I’ll never be able to defeat her. I’ll not mention her name but if you ask around you can find out who it is. It is going to be the same with you Kat. No way in hell you’re going to defeat me this match, or any other match, because that someday for you is never going to come.

Bea informs the camera person that she will take a short break before returning to her comments. She informs the camera person to have the Network run a video of her on Twitter until she returns from her break. Bea stands up and walks out of the room and the video of her on Twitter runs.

MORONS ON TWITTER

While Bea is taking a short break from her comments the Network runs the video of Bea reading comments on Twitter.

Bea:  I get sick of morons getting on Twitter asking why I didn’t comment on this or that. They demand to know why, since they posted negative comments about me, I didn’t respond. They call me a coward for not being a Twitter whore like they are and the answer is obvious that I don’t lower myself to their level. They always try to get others to whore themselves out on Twitter and they get pissed off when those of us who are intelligent and self-confident don’t follow their bullshit. Listen up carefully. When I have something I want to comment on I might say it on Twitter, or in a promo, or in comments before my match starts. But if I don’t want to comment on anything at the time then I most likely won’t comment.  Also when you go off on me because I didn’t whore myself out on Twitter like you did remember that I do my best talking with my actions in the ring in my matches. And to think morons like those on Twitter actually think they’re something people care about.

MORONS OUTSIDE OF TWITTER

Bea rolls her eyes.

Bea:  It isn’t just the morons on Twitter who I refer to as Twitter whores who make me roll my eyes in disgust. There are people like them everywhere. Week after week after week I hear the same bullshit from the other wrestlers. They want to know why I don’t show videos of myself in sparring matches like they do. They want to know why I don’t live stream my training sessions like they do. They want to know why I don’t do everything the way they do it. BECAUSE I’M MY OWN PERSON AND I DAMN SURE DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, AND HOW I WANT! So there you have it. Just because I don’t do everything the way the rest of you do doesn’t mean I’m not doing it. I feel it is not your business to know every damn thing I do. My job getting in front of the camera to comment on upcoming matches is to comment on upcoming matches and on my opponents. All the other stuff, the non-wrestling related stuff is, for me anyway, not what I’m before the camera to do. If you don’t like that about me then turn and walk away but please keep your sarcastic bitchy foolish comments to yourself.

JUST ANOTHER ANNOYING FLY ON THE WALL

Bea returns to the living room as the Network has finished running the video from Bea reading comments on Twitter. Bea returns to her seat next to the fireplace. Just as Bea is about to continue her comments a Fly goes by and lands on the wall next to the fireplace. Bea stands up and walks over to where her flyswatter is hanging and she grabs it and returns to the wall where the fly is waiting.

Bea:  So, Kat, you want to be a fly on the wall to try to spy on me day and night in hopes you might find a flaw in me that you can capitalize on in our match? WHAP!!!

Bea whacks the fly with the flyswatter and the fly dies and lands hard on the floor.

Bea:  Yeah that’s what I thought Kat. You’re nothing more than an annoying thing flying around and when you land I knock you out of the picture and most likely knock you out literally. I don’t tolerate annoying pests and you’re just a pathetic little annoying bug. Time for me to swat you out of Sin City Wrestling.


18
Climax Control Archives / BULLSHIT. . .FLAT OUT BULLSHIT!!!
« on: November 24, 2021, 12:12:05 PM »
BULLSHIT. . .FLAT OUT BULLSHIT!!!

Narrator:  This match for the World Bombshell Championship for Bea Barnhart came as a surprise. After the cowardly beat down of her husband, Bill Barnhart, and their friend Senor Vinnie, Bea demanded action be taken because of the cowardly attack by Mac Bane, Ken Davison, Supreme Machine, and Dominick Strife, for their actions. When Management came up with forcing Amber Ryan, who is Mac Bane’s wife, to defend the World Bombshell Championship against Bea. . .well. . .shit happens and it damn sure did in this case.

AT STANFORD, CALIFORNIA, READY FOR CLIMAX CONTROL 317

SOMEONE FAILED TO DO THEIR JOB PROPERLY

The scene changes and we are taken to the hotel room of Bea Barnhart which is near Stanford University in California. We see Bea is pacing back and forth, stomping her feet, and yelling stuff. She’s obviously still pissed off over the attack on Bill and Vinnie at Climax Control 316. Since this is not what we normally see in a Bea Barnhart promo segment we wonder if perhaps the camera person inadvertently left their camera running after they ran a test to ensure the camera is working properly.

Bea:  Arghhhh! There’s gonna be hell to pay for the bullshit attacks Mac and his goons continue to do upon Bill and Vinnie.!It takes a special type of coward to have to attack others two-on-one, three-on-two, and four-on-two, like those weak assholes have been doing!

Bea kicks one of the chairs then she spins around and heads back in the other direction.

Bea:  At least my complaint to Management was understood and they took action against Mac as he is the ringleader of the group of thugs! I feel bad Amber Ryan has to take the punishment since I’m not allowed to be assigned to take on Mac one-on-one!

While Bea is ranting on the cheap attacks by Mac and company she glances over to see the camera person show up and stand next to their camera and they start to go over the camera to ensure it is still working properly. Bea asks the camera person if the camera has been on all this time and the person realizes they forgot to turn the camera feed off before taking a break. They apologize to Bea for the mistake but Bea goes nuclear on them.

Bea:  I should contact your Supervisor and have you fired! You don’t set up your camera and leave it running! People involved might do or say something that gets broadcast to the public and then your company ends up with a lawsuit! I can’t undo what you did to me but you damn sure better toe the line from here out or your job at the Network is over is that clear?

The camera person assures Bea there will not be any further glitches in the broadcast. Bea takes a few minutes to calm down and then she informs the camera person she is ready to go live to broadcast her comments on her upcoming match. The camera person informs Bea when they are live broadcasting and she launches into her comments.

WHAT CAUSED THIS MATCH WITH AMBER RYAN TO HAPPEN

Bea:  It is obvious that Bill and Iris are not with me on this trip. Bill went home after Climax Control 316 and he has been under the care of our family physician, Doctor Kim, for the injuries he sustained at the hands of Mac Bane and his three thugs. Our neighbor, Peter, offered to take care of Iris at his home since he lives three houses down and has a dog to keep Iris company.

Bea is about to continue with her comments when her cell phone rings. When she looks at the Caller ID she sees the call is from her husband Bill.

Bea:  I apologize for the interruption but this call is from Bill. To show you how transparent I am, as compared to the rest of you in Sin City Wrestling, I’ll place my call on speaker so everyone knows what we’re discussing so nobody has to take hallucinating drugs and then in their drug-induced state of mind try to make up what me and Bill talked about. Thanks for the call, Bill, but you need to know I’m just starting to air my comments for my upcoming match so if we can keep this call short I can get back to my comments on the match.

Bill:  That’s easy to do. I’m calling to let you know what Doctor Kim said about my condition after being attacked by cowards at Climax Control 316.

Bea:  What did Doctor Kim say?

Bill:  He said X-Rays came out fine. He said other than having some bruises, both external and internal, and several scratches and cuts, I’m good to go whenever I’m ready.

Bea:  Great news! I was concerned that you might have sustained more severe injuries but you’re tougher than your attackers thought you were.

Bill:  Let me provide a quick reminder for the viewers of how tough I am. I told the story numerous times of the feud between me and my half-brother Chris Shipman. He vowed to kill me. Yes he vowed to end my life for HIS poor choices in his life which included him being found guilty of the death of our sister. Back in the previous Wrestling Federation we worked in for ten years we were always assigned to the most vile, vicious, and career ending, matches ever known to the sport of wrestling and most of those matches were so evil, demonic, and dangerous, they are permanently banned from the sport of wrestling. Today I’m still in the sport of wrestling. I’m still holding a Championship. I still never back down. And I’m still alive. But where is Chris Shipman? After failing to take me out I guess Chris Shipman either quit trying and went into hiding or maybe he’s already deceased. I don’t know and I don’t care. The cowardly attack by Mac and his thugs will come back to haunt them. I’ve taken enough of your air time Bea so I’ll end the call and you continue with your comments. And you can thank Mac and his goons for you getting this shot at the World Bombshell Championship.

Bea:  Thanks Bill.

Bea ends the call then returns to her match comments.

BULLSHIT. . .FLAT OUT BULLSHIT

Bea:  That attack on Bill and Vinnie at Climax Control 316 was BULLSHIT! Just flat out BULLSHIT!!! Since the cowardly, chickenshit, bullshit, four-on-two beat down of my husband, Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie, by Mac Bane, Ken Davison, Dominick Strife, and Supreme Machine, after their match was over, and after Bill won the match by taking out Dominick, I’m more than pissed off. I protested to Management and demanded action be taken against those four cowards and I left the decision in their hands. The next thing I know I’m on the Climax Control 317 card, in the Main Event, facing Amber Ryan for the World Bombshell Championship. They say you should never question when opportunities like this drop in your lap. This is how Karma works and I’m glad Management saw that something needed to be done about the assault.

Bea pauses her comments for a moment.

Bea:  I guess Management figured since Mac Bane is the ringmaster calling the shots that he should be punished the most for the brutal after-match beat down he and his thugs perpetrated on Bill and Vinnie. The way I remember how things were supposed to go was that the World Bombshell Championship was going to be defended at the last Climax Control of 2021. Well that quickly changed eh Amber? The actions by your cowardly husband has now cost you as you have to defend the World Bombshell Championship against me sooner than you wanted to defend it. We’ve had only one match together and that was a Bombshell World Championship Qualifier match and you won over me by submission. I commend you on that win but your one win doesn’t equate into another one. This time you face a pissed off woman who had her husband brutally attacked after his match was over and if you think I’m not going to take my anger out on you, for what your cowardly husband and his thugs did, then you’re damn sure more stupid than I thought you were!

Bea pauses her comments again but this time it is to take a drink of water before continuing with her comments.

EXPECTATIONS FOR MY MATCH

Bea:  I don’t expect to win this match against you Amber. Now now now before you get the giggles and piss in your panties and think I’m conceding the match you need to wipe that huge grin off your face and listen up. Since your husband, Mac, proved himself to be a coward that tells me you’re also a coward as you didn’t seem to do anything to prevent him from attacking Bill and Vinnie. Back to my comment that I don’t expect to win this match against you please allow me to clarify that comment. I don’t expect to get the win over you when I’m sure you’ve already arranged for Mac, Ken, Dominick, and Supreme Machine to interfere in our match and threaten to beat me down. Yes I honestly expect that from you as you weren’t expecting to meet me in a Championship defense match this soon. I assure you if you and your four cowardly thugs interfere in our match and cause me to lose I’ll not stop working to destroy you and them for what they did. Yes I know their interference will cause you to lose the match, and I’ll get the official win on my record, but under normal circumstances when a Champion loses a Championship Defense match because they got disqualified that they lose the match but not their Championship. The only way I can see Management fixing the anticipated interference by your four thugs is to add to our match that even if you lose by Disqualification to me you’ll also lose the World Bombshell Championship to me. That’s their call to make so we’ll see what they decide to do. Perhaps that’s the only way to get this bullshit of interference and after-match beat downs to stop.

Bea pauses her comments to reach over on the couch and pick up a small black bag. Bea opens the zipper of the bag and pulls out two clay characters we’re familiar with. One is the clay character Mister Bill and the other is his ever-present tormenter Mister Sluggo. Bea holds them on her lap.

OH NOOOOO!!!!! BEA’S GONNA BE MEAN TO ME!!!

Bea:  Unless you live under a rock with no television you know who Mister Bill and Mister Sluggo are. Mister Sluggo constantly beats up and tortures Mister Bill in every episode of their adventures and he has the help of Mister Hands in these disgusting attacks. Notice that Mister Sluggo is just like Mac, Ken, Dominick, and Supreme Machine in that they need help to take out one person. Before Bill returned to Lawrenceville, Georgia, he told me when he returns to action in the wrestling ring he’s going into destroy mode and Mac, Ken, Dominick, and Supreme Machine are on his shit list. Amber in our match you’re the clay character Mister Bill and I’m Mister Sluggo and I’m going to be mean to you as Mister Sluggo always is to Mister Bill. Again, as I previously mentioned, if your four pathetic goons don’t get involved in our match the World Bombshell Championship is mine. If they get involved and cost me the match I can only hope Management allows me to earn the Championship from you as you had to have help, against the rules, to Disqualify yourself to try to retain the Championship even though I defeated you.

Bea returns the two clay characters into the small bag and places it on the coffee table in front of the couch she is sitting on.

WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU HAVE ME DONE AWAY WITH

Bea:  Amber have you heard of the man named Rasputin? I’ll venture a guess you’re not intelligent enough to know facts about history. Even if you did I believe you’re so mentally dense you wouldn’t remember it anyway. I believe you’re so mentally deficient that you cannot even recall what you ate for your last meal. Let me tell you about Rasputin. So many wanted him “put out of the way” which is a mild term for killed. So many people also want my husband, Bill Barnhart, out of the way but they’ve always failed. Remember if Bill’s half-brother Chris Shipman wasn’t able to take Bill all the way out after ten years of trying then for damn sure your four goons aren’t gonna be able to accomplish it. Going back to Rasputin those who wanted to kill him poisoned him on numerous occasions and he wouldn’t die. Be careful who you run up to and try to take them out as it often blows up in your face.

Bea pauses once again to take a drink of water.

WRESTLING IS LIKE A GAME OF CHESS

Bea:  Amber I would ask you if you ever played the game of Chess, or if you even know what the game is about, but I would hate to pose that question only to have the two or three working brain cells you have left blow out and then you become more moronic than you already are. Chess is a board game. There are various pieces players use in the game and each playing piece can only move in specific directions. It is a thinking game, which immediately puts you at a disadvantage, because you didn’t think to take action against your four thugs and prevent them from perpetrating the attack on Bill and Vinnie. But, as useless as an explanation of Chess is to explain to idiots, I’ll still explain the concept of the game to you as there are viewers who can comprehend what I’m saying even if you can’t. In the game of Chess you should always look ahead several moves. Even if your opponent manages to do something that makes you change the several moves ahead you already planned you have the ability to quickly adapt and take your opponent out while at the same time keeping a list of several moves ahead to keep your opponent hesitating. I enter every match like a Chess game. I have everything figured out. If my opponent does something strange or unexpected I’m able to quickly maneuver and get back on track to where I’m in control of the match. And just so you know, as I hate opponents who whine that they were not warned ahead of time, I have the ability to quickly adapt should you go off on some wild tangent and I have people watching our match to ensure any attempted interference from your four thugs will be dealt with appropriately and quickly. Here’s the bottom line Amber:  CHECKMATE!!! I win!!!

Bea pauses her comments to get up and walk into the kitchen area where she returns with a plate of cookies to go along with her drinks of water. Bea devours several cookies then washes them down with a drink of water before placing the dish with the cookies on it on the coffee table in front of the couch.

GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION

Bea:  Amber I can’t hold you responsible for what Mac and his goons did to Bill after their match at Climax Control 316. Well I can’t hold you accountable at this time anyway. I’m still doing research to find out if you had anything to do with that vile disgusting and illegal beat down on Bill and Vinnie at Climax Control 316. If, between now and our match, I find out you had something to do with that attack you’ll pay heavily for your involvement. If I’m unable to find out if you had something to do with the attack then you’re either innocent of being involved in the attack or you’re damn good at hiding the truth. For your well-being I damn sure hope I don’t find out you were involved.

Bea informs the camera person she’s ready to make closing comments. The camera person passes that information onto the Network and the Network tells them when Bea is done with her final comments they are to cut their camera feed and the Network will take over the air time from there.

Bea:  Amber you and everyone in Sin City Wrestling know that me and Bill are fair and honest people. We realize other wrestlers who are pathetic often act violent to cover up their shortcomings in the wrestling ring. We realize other wrestlers are intimidated by us. Most wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling hurl insults and demeaning comments at us. Yet with all that crap going around we’ve maintained our composure so as not to be labeled as over-violent and mean. So you can hurl insults and demeaning comments at me if you want as I’m not intimidated by your bullshit threats. All you and the other wrestlers earn by hurling crap at me is an ass kicking. And after what your four did to Bill and Vinnie I’m not holding back in our match. And to make sure you and Mac and your goons behave I’ll ask for Senor Vinnie to be my corner person and we’ve talked with numerous wrestlers to be standing by in case your four goons try any crap. Good luck Amber. You’re damn sure gonna need it!

Bea is done with her comments and the camera person cuts their camera feed and the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming.


19
Climax Control Archives / KARMA'S A BITCH AND I'M KARMA'S HIT MAN
« on: November 16, 2021, 06:37:12 PM »
KARMA’S A BITCH AND I’M KARMA’S HIT MAN

Narrator:  Before coming on screen to give you the introduction to Bill Barnhart’s comments on his upcoming match  I had a meeting with Bill and he told me the general concept of what he plans on talking about. Simply put Bill said that Karma is a bitch and that he’s Karma’s hit man. With that out of the way I turn you over to Bill Barnhart.

The scene switches and we see Bill Barnhart in his room at a hotel near the Provident Credit Union Event Center in San Jose, California. With him in the room is his wife and Manager, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris. Bill looks into the camera and launches into his comments.

Bill:  There’s a statement that goes KARMA’S ONLY A BITCH IF YOU ARE. Applying that to our oppoents, who are backed by Mac Bane and Ken Davison, they’re all a bitch and will be taken out by Karma. I want you to know I’m Karma’s hit man. Damn it’s fun being Karma’s hit man! Since Mac Bane and Ken Davison are both a bitch and they are standing behind the tag team of Dominick Strife and Supreme Machine, we already know they will get involved in the match to attempt to screw us out of the win. I’m here to let them know  if they get involved in the match in any manner, except to offer support and give suggestions and advice to Dominic and Supreme Machine, then all the rules are off the table and anything goes. I assure Mac and Ken that getting involved in this match, and getting destroyed by us in the process, is not what they want. Now that I have those comments out of the way I wish to address other items before getting into direct comments concerning our match.

BACK TO AN INCIDENT DURING BILL’S HIGH SCHOOL DAYS

We are taken back to when Bill Barnhart was attending Skyline High School in Oakland, California. We see Bill and his friend Steve parked on the side of a street, with Bill’s car, when another car drives up and stops. Two classmates from Skyline High School, Jerry and John, who hate Bill and Steve, get out of the other car and confront Bill and Steve.

Bill:  Oh, great, the scum of the Earth just showed up to give us some shit.

Steve:  We got this Bill.

Jerry:  Oh, look, two f*cking losers, Bill and Steve, ready to get their asses kicked.

John:  Are you two ready to get beat down?

Bill and Steve look at each other, then they look at Jerry and John. Bill and Steve flip their middle finger at Jerry and John and tell them to f*ck off.

Jerry:  Wrong move to try to intimidate us.

John:  You’re gonna get hurt now!

Jerry and John charge Bill and Steve and try landing blows but they miss terribly. Bill and Steve land several blows then they shove Jerry and John to the ground then they get into Bill’s car, start the engine, and threaten to run over Jerry and John. Jerry and John wisely get into their car and try to take off to avoid getting whacked by Bill’s car. Since Jerry and John are scared shitless they swerve into traffic and get hit by an oncoming car. Fortunately for Jerry and John the other car didn’t cause enough damage to injure them but their driver’s side door is crushed and there’s enough other damage to prevent them from moving the car. Bill and Steve pull up alongside Jerry’s car, roll down their windows, and yell at Jerry and John.

Steve:  That will teach you not to mess with us! Ha ha ha!

Bill:  That shows you assholes how Karma works. Karma rose up and slam dunked you for trying to do something illegal. I’m glad I’m associated with Karma as it sure is fun being Karma’s hit man!

At that comment Bill hits the gas and speeds off down the road. He looks in his rearview mirror to see the police showing up to investigate the accident. Knowing Jerry is going to get arrested Bill and Steve do a HIGH FIVE and continue driving off into the distance.

RETURN TO CURRENT TIME

Bill:  Ahhh I remember an incident when our former friends Jerry and John attacked me and my friend Steve and we got the advantage on them and then Karma rose up and kicked their ass. It’s always fun to watch Karma work to f*ck people up who are assholes. Speaking of assholes we have a match at Climax Control 316 where we face a pathetic tag team consisting of Dominick Strife and Supreme Machine. They have the backing of Mac Bane and Ken Davison. I find it amusing that two losers are being backed by two losers. Double losers are amusing. Mac. . .Ken. . .the only reason you are involved in this match is to interfere in the match to try to screw me and Vinnie out of the win. That’s not gonna happen. Not in this match. . .not in our nexte match. . .not ever. You seem to be able to talk the talk but you’re not able to walk the walk. I’m telling you now, before the match happens, so that you cannot claim you didn’t know, if you get involved in the match and try to interfere in the match in any manner, all rules will be thrown out and it is all out war. Me and Vinnie are not going to get screwed over by pathetic jerks who can’t face us directly so they have to try to gang up on us. Nice try but that shit won’t work against me and Vinnie.

Bill grins toward the camera.

Bill:  D’oh!!! Dominick, Supreme Machine, Mac, and Ken, you know that exclamation from The Simpsons. That’s the common thing Homer Simpson utters when he realizes he f*cked up. You four will be uttering that exclamation, and many more, if you try to cheat or interfere in the match and me and Vinnie give you the beat down of a lifetime. You’ll utter that exclamation when you realize you should have just shut the f*ck up and turned around and walked away. I don’t take shit from anyone and neither does Vinnie.

CALLING FOR HELP FROM JESUS OR AN EXCLAMATION KNOWING YOU’RE TOAST?

Bill:  One of my close friends during High School was Steve Truelson. We used to do sleepovers at each other’s house all the time. We were always getting into trouble with our parents but we didn’t care. During one sleepover at Steve’s house we stayed up late and we decided to shoot off fireworks. We set off fireworks outside Steve’s bedroom door which led to the walkway on the side of the house then jumped into bed to pretend we were asleep to make it look like it wasn’t us who did the fireworks. I remember my friend’s father, Clyde, woke up from his sleep due to the noise and he yelled what I thought was CHEEZ-IT like the crackers. I asked Steve if he thinks his father is hungry and he asked me why I asked that question. I said because Clyde is yelling for CHEEZ-IT so I thought he wanted crackers. Steve laughed and told me his father wasn’t yelling for CHEEZ-IT to get crackers he was using the name of Jesus as a curse word by screaming out JESUS!!! as more of a curse.

Bill lets out a loud laugh.

Bill:  Mac, Ken, Dominick, and Supreme Machine, I told you that story about Steve’s father, Clyde, for a reason. First for Dominick and Supreme Machine if you play by the rules of our match and don’t cheat, don’t violate the rules, and don’t have Mac and Ken interfere in the match you’ll lose the match but we promise not to seriously hurt you. However if you cheat, violate the rules, or have Mac or Ken interfere in the match, you’ll get severely hurt and may end up retiring from wrestling. Is that a threat? Nope! That’s a promise! As for Mac and Ken I state publicly that if you have to resort to cheap shots, cheating, and attacks on other wrestlers, to try to get noticed then you’re damn sure more pathetic than I thought. Me and Vinnie don’t cheat. Me and Vinnie don’t rely on interference in our matches. However me and Vinnie take revenge on those who pull that crap on us. You have a choice to make. Play by the rules or get taken out and possibly sent into retirement. That’s not a choice me and Vinnie have to make. That a choice you four have to make. Remember, though, that you have to live with the choice you make. If you start the attack on us then me and Vinnie will finish it and you’ll get hurt. You can call on God, Satan or Jesus. . .or even CHEESE-IT crackers, but I tell you there are not enough supernatural powers, or CHEESE-IT crackers, in the Universe that you can call on to help you beat us down. If you think I’m joking then try. . .just try. . .I dare you.

CLOSING COMENTS

Bill:  For our opponents, Supreme Machine and Dominick I let you know that myself and Vinnie will not tolerate any cheating or interference. If you need the help of Mac and Ken to defeat us then you are two pathetic pieces of shit and need to be flushed down the toilet. As for Mac and Ken you need to know that your actions have an effect on how you’re seen by the other wrestlers and the fans. If you want to cheat and interfere in the match to help your two puppets, Supreme Machine and Dominick, get a cheap win, that’s fine as I’ve already told you we’ll deal with that in more than one way. One thing I hate with a passion are cheaters, liars, and people with illegal behavior. Me and Vinnie have had enough of the bullshit from the rest of the Roster. Your puppets wrestlers, and you two, either play the game by the rules or your wrestling careers are over. Your choice to make. We’ve made our choice. See you on November 21, 2021, at Climax Control 316.

Bill informs the camera person that he’s done with his comments. They call into the Network to tell them that and the Network tells them to cut their camera feed and when the camera person cuts their camera feed the screen goes dark.


20
Climax Control Archives / FOUR TIMES THE FUN WHEN YOU HAVE FOUR OPPONENTS
« on: October 21, 2021, 07:41:00 AM »
FOUR TIMES THE FUN WHEN YOU HAVE FOUR OPPONENTS

Narrator:  Bea has her shot at the Roulette Championship, at Climax Control 315, against four opponents including Krystal Wolfe the Roulette Champion, Johanna Krieger, Bella Madison, and Seleana Zdunich. Bea has every reason to believe she will walk away as the Bombshell Roulette Championship but I won’t step on her toes by telling you what she told me. I will turn you over to Bea Barnhart to let her explain it to you.

BEA. . .AGE 10. . .ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN THE PHILIPPINES

We are taken back in time to when Bea was in Elementary School in the Philippines. She is in her classroom trying to focus on the lesson but some of the annoying punk kids are talking smack about her and teasing her. They tell Bea when School is over, and she is walking through the school hallways, they will get her and make her feel their wrath. Bea makes it through the hallways without incident and she exits the school to catch a Jeepney to return to her home. Before she can get on the Jeepney four of the harassing students confront Bea. They push and shove her and she refrains from fighting back. When the four kids get more aggressive Bea lashes out quickly, and decisively, knocking the four punks to the ground. While the students are getting up Bea jumps on the Jeepney and the driver speeds off to take Bea home. Although the four punk kids are yelling at her as the Jeepney drives away they can’t do a damn thing since they were disabled by Bea.

BEA. . .AGE 16…HIGH SCHOOL IN THE PHILIPPINES

We advance in time and see Bea graduating from High School in the Philippines. Before Bea is called up to accept her Diploma she is confronted by four students who tease her. Bea confronts them and reminds them she is an Honor Student and she graduated with all A grades while the punk students were lucky they are still able to graduate with an average of a C grade. The nearly failing students are jealous of Bea so they surround her and try to take  her down. Bea adequately fights off their attempted attacks and this grabs the attention of one of the teachers at the High School who steps in and separates the four punks from Bea. The teacher then calls the Principal of the school over who admonishes the four punks and then informs them they are not going to graduate today and that they have to repeat their Senior year of High School so they will learn their lesson and their place in life.

A MATCH IS FOUR TIMES THE FUN WHEN YOU HAVE FOUR OPPONENTS

We return to present time and we see Bea Barnhart walking around in the Agganis Arena at Boston University where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 315. The camera person keeps their camera focused on her and Bea stops and turns toward the camera to present comments for her upcoming match.

Bea:  On October 24, 2021, at Climax Control 315, I’m involved in a five person match for the Bombshell Roulette Championship. Although the official Card for Climax Control 315 states that Krystal Wolfe, the current Bombshell Roulette Champion,  is scheduled to defend the Roulette Championship against Char Kwan at High Stakes XI, there’s little chance of that happening as I’m winning the Roulette Championship this Sunday. Does that mean that after I defeat my four opponents this Sunday that I, as Roulette Champion, will defend the Championship against Char Kwan at High Stakes XI? Guess we’ll find out soon enough!

Bea continues walking with the camera person staying focused on her until she turns a corner where she stops to present additional comments.

Bea:  I’m facing the Bombshell Roulette Champion, Krystal Wolfe, and Johanna Krieger, and Bella Madison, and Seleana Zdunich, in a Graveyard Match, with the winner becoming Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Roulette Champion. Now I already know what you ‘re thinking and what my opponents are thinking. You and my opponents will say since I am 0-1 against Krystal Wolfe, 0-1 against Bella Madison, and 0-4 against Seleana Zdunich, that I have absolutely no chance of winning this match. What’s that? You want to know why I didn’t mention the name of Johanna Krieger? That’s because I haven’t had a match with her yet. If you think I cannot win this match it proves you’re not thinking.

Bea walks around and this time she stops in front of the wrestling ring that is set up for Climax Control 315.

Bea:  The concept of this Graveyard Match is simple. The five of us will be wrestling in a Graveyard. In order to eliminate your opponents you have to toss them into one of the many open graves available. Once all my opponents are eliminated I’m crowned Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Roulette Champion. Now you’re asking the question how in the world do I expect to be able to toss my opponents into graves to eliminate them from the match when the four of them will be trying to toss me into a grave to eliminate me? Again that proves you’re not capable of logical thought. It isn’t the concept that I have to personally toss the four of them into the graves to win the match. The way I see it is if anyone in the match is tossed into a grave, regardless of who it is that tosses them into the grave, they’re eliminated from the match. Maybe I’ll personally toss each of them into a grave to eliminate them to prove my ability to do so or perhaps I may allow the others in the match to beat the hell out of each other then throw the others into the graves to eliminate them. Then when it comes down  whichever of them is remaining active in the match I’ll eliminate them by throwing them into a grave. There are so many interesting ways to see this match and I see the match as working in my favor. In fact please allow me to show you a graphic to let you know how dominating I’ll be in this match.

The Network puts up the graphic from Bea to give everyone a graphic image of how dominating she will be in this match.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

After a short time the Network removes the graphic and we return to a shot of Bea Barnhart as she continues with her comments.

HOW I SEE MY OPPONENTS

Bea holds up one finger into the camera.

Bea:  Krystal I address  you first. You’re the current Bombshell Roulette Champion. I described you as the “current” Bombshell Champion because after our match you’ll no longer be Roulette Champion because I’ll be crowned the Bombshell Champion. You talk a lot of smack but deep inside you’re scared of losing the Roulette Championship. Although you’re pre-scheduled to defend the Roulette Championship at High Stakes XI against Char Kwan you know damn well you can’t do that when I defeat you this Sunday and become Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Roulette Champion. As a Champion you have to always be ready to lose the Championship as nothing is guaranteed to you.

Bea holds up two fingers into the camera.

Bea:  Johanna you’re the second person I address. I want you to know that you are in this match for only one reason and that is to be my victim when I eliminate you from the match. Talk all the smack you want but your talk is cheap. You enter our match as a challenger to the Roulette Championship but you leave the match as a defeated wrestler.

Bea holds up three fingers into the camera.

Bea:  Third to be addressed is you Bella. You might try to use the fact that you got a win over me in a Mixed Tag Team match but that’s old history and it doesn’t mean anything for our upcoming match. That Mixed Tag Team match was then and this is now. If you think that your one win in that type of match will save you from having me eliminate you in our match you’re sadly mistaken.

Bea holds up four fingers into the camera.

Bea:  Seleana there’s a reason I saved you to be the forth wrestler I address. The reason is we’ve had four matches against each other and you won all four of them. I freely admit you’re 4-0 against me. I assume you also believe that due to that accomplishment you feel you’re not going to be able to be eliminated by me. That might be the case if one of the other wrestlers eliminates you but I assure you I want to be the one to eliminate you. Yes you did hold the Bombshell Roulette Championship once and it was a short run but that doesn’t mean I’ll have compassion on you in our match. You’ll be eliminated by me and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.

Bea flashes a huge grin.

Bea:  You four girls. . .yes I just called you girls because I feel the term women is too good for you. . .remind me of two incidents I had when I grew up in the Philippines. One was when I was in Elementary School. Since I was a student who got mostly A’s as grades many of the other students were jealous of me. They would hurl insults and threats to me and they got even more upset when I ignored their threats. On one day I was leaving the school to get on the Jeepney to return home and they confronted me and attempted to inflict physical harm on me. Having great reflexes and ability to fend off their attacks I dropped the four of them to the ground. While they were trying to recover I got on the Jeepney and was taken home. The next day those four students were reprimanded for their behavior and they were suspended from school for a week. Their attitudes changed when they were allowed back in school.

Bea flashes a  huge grin again.

Bea:  In my Senior year in High School something similar happened. We were getting ready for the High School Graduation ceremony and I was confronted by four students who were jealous of me since I was graduating with Honors while they were barely able to get a passing grade.  They surrounded me with the intent to physically attack me when a Teacher stepped in and stood between us. The teacher was upset at the students so she called the Principal over and the Principal, after learning what these students tried to do to me, told them they will not graduate that year and they have to retake their Senior year of High School. I graduated with Honors while those four punks had to retake their Senior Year.

Bea looks intently into the camera.

Bea:  Why did I tell you the incidents, and results of those incidents, from my Elementary School and Senior High days? I wanted you to know that you four are just like the punks that tried to attack me on the way to my Jeepney and they failed. You four are just like the students in High School who wanted to destroy my Graduation Ceremony, with me graduating with Honors, because they were barely able to get an average overall grade of a C in High School. Like the four punks from Elementary School who I dropped to the ground I’ll drop the four of you into graves to become Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Roulette Champion. Just like the students during the incident just before our High School Graduation Ceremony when you four lose to me you’ll be sent back down to the bottom of the ladder of success to try to earn your way back up into contention. If you think I’m joking with what I’m saying then please feel free to laugh. You four damn sure won’t be laughing when I win our match!

WHAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE?

Bea:  I’m sure most viewers want to know what my bottom line is concerning this Bombshell Roulette Championship match. ONE is that I want to become Roulette Champion so that me and my husband Bill will both be serving as Roulette Champions at the same time. TWO is that I want to prove my dominance and what better way than to have four opponents in the match instead of the normal one opponent. THREE is that although I could just hide in the bushes or behind a headstone and wait for my four opponents to beat the crap out of each other I won’t be the coward and do that sort of behavior. I’ll go into an all-out, full speed ahead, shoot first and ask questions later, dominate my opponents, mode and when the dust settles you’ll see my hand raised in victory and the Roulette Championship handed to me.

Bea gives a stern look into the camera.

Bea:  What’s that girls? Yes, to Krystal, Johanna, Bella, and Seleana, I look at you as girls and not women as I previously explained. You think you’re better than everyone else and yet none of you have yet to have a long Title reign. You think you’re better than me and that I cannot eliminate you in our match but with that line of thinking you’ve already jinxed yourselves. You think your shit don’t stink but I’ve been told by other wrestlers that when you’re in the bathroom taking a dump they have to wear gas masks to keep from passing out from your stench.

Bea pulls out a small makeup container.

Bea:  In closing I wish to give your four morons a graphic for you to keep in your minds. Please allow me a moment to apply some makeup then you’ll get the message strong and clear.

Bea turns her back to the camera while she looks into a small mirror and applies makeup to her lips. Bea then turns around and even the camera person is surprised by what they get a shot of when Bea presents her makeup to the camera.

Bea:  READ. . .MY. . .LIPS!!!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

After Bea has allowed enough time for the viewers, and her opponents, to grasp the full intent of the makeup on her lips, she lets out an evil laugh.

Bea:  Bwaa haa haa!!! Read my friggin' lips! You four are going down and I’m going into the history books as Sin City Wrestling’s next Bombshell Roulette Champion!

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments and the camera person cuts their camera feed and the screen goes dark.


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