I HAVE A BLAST FROM THE PAST SEMI FINAL MATCH AGAINST ALEXANDER RAVEN
Narrator: Wow!!! Bill Barnhart has come a long way in the Blast From The Past Tournament and now he is facing Alexander Raven in a semi-final match in that tournament. Bill is no stranger in facing Alexander Raven. The two have had a long history in the ring with both obtaining victories over the other. However the difference here is the one obtaining the victory moves on in the Blast From The Past Tournament while the loser walks away as a spectator. With that said I now turn you over to Bill Barnhart for his comments on his upcoming match.
The scene shifts to an unknown location and we see Bill and Bea Barnhart, along with their friend and fellow wrestler, Felix Hernandez, and we hope that during their air time they will inform us where they are currently located and broadcasting from.
Bill: Hi and greetings from the Holiday Inn Express Hotel at Amsterdam Arena Towers. We booked a room here as it is close to the Ziggo Dome where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 425 where I am facing Alexander Raven in a semi-final match in the Blast From The Past Tournament. When I win I move on in the Tournament. If, by some freaked out miracle Alexander Raven wins then I am out of the Blast From The Past Tournament and Raven advances in the Tournament. I am here to tell you that I am not going to be the one leaving the wrestling ring without the win.
Bea: We decided to present comments on Bill’s match at Climax Control 425 in the dining facility at the Holiday Inn Express Hotel, rather than broadcast from our hotel room in the building, to avoid having fans trying to figure out what room we are occupying and then they will try to harass us or break into our room.
Felix: As for me I am thankful that Bill and Bea invited me to stay with them in their hotel room for this edition of Climax Control. Since I am not involved in a match they didn’t want me to have to spend money for a hotel room.
The serving staff comes to their table and takes their orders then they leave to submit their food order then to bring it back to them at their table. Right when Bill is about to talk more on his upcoming Blast From The Past Semi-Final match against Alexander Raven we hear an incoming call notification on Bea’s laptop computer. Bea opens the call and it is their neighbor, Andrew, in Lawrenceville, Georgia, with a video call request from him to have them do a chat call with Iris.
Bea: Hi Andrew! So Iris wants to do a video call with us? We have a few minutes since we just ordered our food and it should arrive in a short time. Also Bill and I wish to thank you for taking care of Iris while we are traveling with Sin City Wrestling. You are a great friend and neighbor to us and a great Uncle Andrew to Iris. I am excited to be able to talk with Iris.
Andrew: Thank Bea. I love Iris as if she was my own pet. Well, Bea, actually Iris wants to speak with her Daddy Bill instead of you. She doesn’t mean any disrespect it is just a Daddy question she has for Bill.
The look on Bea’s face shows she is hurt that Iris doesn’t want to talk with her during this video call. Oh well. It happens. Bea places the laptop computer on the table and Bill begins his conversation with Iris.
Bill: Hi, Iris, what is going on that you only want to talk with me instead of both me and Mommy Bea?
Iris: Arf…woof…snarl…whine… (Interpretation: I just wanted to talk with you Daddy as I miss you so much. You will let me know if I am overly concerned about something.)
Bill: Well Mommy Bea is sitting next to me so she will hear both sides of our conversation but I assure you she understands that during this video call you want to talk with me. So what is your concern?
Iris: Bark…whine…whimper…snort. . . (Interpretation: I haven’t seen my boyfriend, Pete the Cactus, since Senor Vinnie has been taking a break from wrestling recently. I miss Pete so much and I wanted to know if you could talk with Andrew and ask him to call Senor Vinnie and ask him if he could fly Pete the Cactus to Georgia to spend a few days with me.)
Bill: Well, Iris, I am happy you decided to ask us first before making any decisions about Pete. Andrew is there with you and he is hearing our conversation so I will talk with Senor Vinnie and see if I can work a mini-vacation for Pete The Cactus to come to Lawrenceville, Georgia, to spend some time with you.
Iris: Arf! Arf! Snort! (Interpretation: Thank you Daddy and Mommy! You two are the greatest!)
Bea: Yeah. . .okay Iris. . .you say I am the greatest Doggy Mommy but you only wanted to talk with Daddy Bill during this video call. It is okay Iris. I will never stop loving you.
Bea ends the video call then she looks at Bill.
Bea: Iris is a silly little girl. Make sure you call Senor Vinnie and see if we can book a flight for Pete the Cactus to fly to Atlanta to spend a few days with Iris.
Bill: Will do Bea. I will follow up with Andrew after we are done with our wrestling event on Sunday. Our food is coming so let’s dig into the food and after we eat we can return to our hotel room and finish our comments for my match against Alexander Raven from there.
Bea informs the camera person that she and Bill request them to turn off their camera feed until they are done eating their food and return to their hotel room where they will finish their comments on Bill’s upcoming match from there. The camera person does as requested and our video goes off for now.
About an hour later. . .
Bill, Bea, and Felix, have returned to their hotel room at the Holiday Inn Express at Amsterdam Arena Towers. The camera person enters the hotel room and sets up the camera and quickly they are live broadcasting again. Bill and Bea sit in chairs next to the couch and Felix Hernandez sits on the couch off to the side of them.
Bea: We are live broadcasting again!!! Thanks to the viewers who stayed with us while we ate our dinner but now there are no more interruptions and Bill already spoke with Senor Vinnie about sending Pete The Cactus to Georgia for a short date with Iris and Iris is so excited. First item on Bill’s list of items to discuss concerning his match against Alexander Raven is how they measure up against each other in height and weight.
Bill: Now it is time for me to get into stuff concerning my Blast From The Past Semi-Final match against Alexander Raven. To start off our comments I will give you the statistics on myself and Raven. I come into this match at 6 feet 4 inches and 240 pounds and Alexander Raven comes into our match at 6 feet 2 inches and 225 pounds. I know what most of you are thinking and I accept what you think. Having 2 inches of height over Raven and 15 pounds of weight over him is not what anyone would consider as an overwhelming advantage for me. Considering that me and Raven have had numerous matches against each other I feel the 2 inches of height and 15 pounds of weight I have over Alexander Raven will work to my advantage.
Bea: Now, Bill, I want you to talk about your wrestling style and the wrestling style of Alexander Raven.
Bill: Both myself and Alexander Raven are aggressive wrestlers so we are pretty much even in this match. There are times when Raven is so hot that he leaves burn marks on the wrestling mat and other times he is so cold that they have to increase the temperature on the heating system in the venue to keep the venue warm for the fans. On the other hand, when it comes to me, I am always hot and active and I always know where I am in a wrestling match at all times. In many of his matches Alexander allowed himself to get distracted and that error cost him a lot of matches. I don’t allow myself to be distracted so I have the advantage there. Also most opponents feel that once they land a blow or two on an opponent that the opponent is done and they feel they can get the win over that opponent. I don’t do that as I am not going to let up until I know I have my opponent heavily beat down. Everyone needs to get that idea out of their heads that Raven can disable me with a few blows. ADVANTAGE = BILL BARNHART!!!I know where I am when I am wrestling. I don’t allow myself to be distracted. And I am aggressive to the point of destroying my opponents with little effort on my part. My opponents can always decide to trace blows blows with me but the end result will be that I will land more heavy blows on my opponents than they can land on me. ADVANTAGE = BILL BARNHART!!! Alexander Raven is not an exception to that rule. The bottom line in my match against Alexander Raven is that I have won numerous matches against Raven and he has won numerous matches against me. The deciding factor will be which one of us is hot and which one of us is cold. And if it turns out that both of us are hot in this match then the winner will be decided by which one of us has a few degrees more temperature going for them. Once again ADVANTAGE = BILL BARNHART!!!
Bea: Bill I want you to talk about the different paths your wrestling career and the wrestling career of Alexander Raven have taken.
Bill: Alexander Raven. The once great wrestler in Sin City Wrestling who is now resigned to a match here and a match there but nothing of substance that allows him to get placed in Main Event matches. Since the fall of Raven he has been relegated to low and mid-card matches. Sad to see a once great wrestler chump themselves out like Alexander does to himself. I look at it this way Alexander. You have this match with me with the winner advancing to in the Blast From The Past Tournament. But you? Once you lose to me this Sunday you will never more have the chance to be a top player in Sin City Wrestling or any other wrestling federation. Don’t complain about your loss to me this coming Sunday. Don’t go to the media outlets and talk shows and claim that my win over you was a fluke. Don’t go before a camera with a crying towel in your hand to wipe your tears away as you re-tell the story of how I, Bill Barnhart, easily defeated you in the Blast From The Past Tournament and sent you home crying in your crying towel.
Bea: Are you ready for your next presentation before you deliver your closing comments Bill?
Bill: Yes I am always ready to deliver the knockout blow Bea. Raven I need you to pay attention to my next few comments as you need to hear the truth regardless of how badly the truth hurts you. It would be nice if my comments bruised your ego because when I get done beating you down in our match on Sunday your entire body and soul will be bruised from the beating I am going to give you.
Felix: Bring on the damning comments Bill.
Bill: Speaking about my match against Alexander Raven, and to comment on something named Raven, it brings me to the familiar story titled THE RAVEN by Edgar Allan Poe. The most famous and well known line from Edgar Allan Poe’s THE RAVEN is the term NEVERMORE. It is the Raven’s repeated response to the speaker’s comments and questions and it is a recurring comment throughout the poem. Also the line NEVERMORE is seen as capturing Poe’s themes of a mournful remembrance, the importance of memory, and the difficulty of letting go of what we love, and later not even remembering what we had. To put it in terms relating to my match against Alexander Raven it would shine an extremely bright spotlight on Alexander Raven as he will not be able forget the beating he will receive when I defeat him this Sunday. It will highlight Alexander’s memory of the loss he will take from me. And also it will be extremely difficult for Alexander Raven to let go of what he loved, which was the sport of wrestling, then he will not even remember what he used to have in the sport of wrestling.
Bea and Felix are in awe as the first round of final comments are issued by Bill.
Bill: So how does the wording NEVERMORE from Edgar Allan Poe’s THE RAVEN apply to you, Alexander? I mean you, who calls himself RAVEN, how do you really feel as you enter this Blast From The Past match against me? I am like the Raven in Edgar Allan Poe’s THE RAVEN in that I will constantly remind you that after I destroy you in our match you will NEVERMORE be relevant in the sport of wrestling! Once I eliminate you from wrestling by destroying your dreams and you will NEVERMORE enjoy the pleasures of being a top name in the sport of wrestling. Instead of that you will return into a life of obscurity. Your name will eventually fade away from Sin City Wrestling, and from the sport of wrestling The fans will forget your name. NEVERMORE will you be relevant in Sin City Wrestling or any other Wrestling Federation for eternity.
Bea informs the camera person that after Bill makes his closing comments they can end their camera feed and return to regular broadcasting. The camera person acknowledges Bea’s comment and we now go into closing comments by Bill Barnhart.
Bill: Okay, Raven, I have given you enough information to last you a lifetime. I have explained to you over and over how easily I am going to destroy you and that I will move on in the Blast From The Past Tournament. You can try whatever you want to try. You can scream at me whatever you want to scream at me. It doesn’t matter what you try, what you attempt, and how you attempt it, you will still lose. You may think that your taunts and threats will scare me away? You think wrong Raven. I do not back down from anyone or anything. Always remember that Satan challenged me to competitions against him and he lost every challenge he made to me. I finally told his sorry ass that his last attempt will literally be his last attempt for eternity. Satan, being an egotistical fool, took my offer that if he defeats me in this final attempt he can have my soul for eternity but when I win he can never challenge me for my soul again for eternity. Satan lost. I won. End of story. You will lose this match to me. End of the story for you. You will not be capable of challenging me again. In closing I will show the opening lyrics of Tom Petty’s song I WON’T BACK DOWN and after that shows on the screen the camera person will end their camera feed.
The Network begins to play the beginning of Tom Petty’s song I WON’T BACK DOWN and the lyrics show on the screen and we listen.
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You could stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down
No I'll stand my ground
Won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground
And I won't back down
The beginning of the Tom Petty song I WON’T BACK DOWN finishes and then words of Tom Petty’s song come off the screen. The closing shot by the camera person is a shot of Bill and Bea Barnhart grinning into the camera. After that closing shot the camera person informs the Network that they are done broadcasting for today and the screen goes dark.
