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Climax Control Roleplays / AM I WRESTLING CURIOUS GEORGE?
« on: August 12, 2022, 01:25:23 PM »
AM I WRESTLING CURIOUS GEORGE?

Narrator:  Every time I have the pleasure of speaking with Bill or Bea Barnhart before they go on the air to present their comments for their upcoming match I’m amused. This time it was Bea, who is facing Georgie Robertson at Climax Control 339, who made fun of her opponents, Georgie Robertson by stating her opponent seems “curious” so she has nicknamed Georgie Robertson as CURIOUS GEORGE!

BEA GETTING THINGS OFF HER CHEST

The scene shifts where we get a shot of Bea Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at the Netaji Indoor Stadium located in Kilkata, India, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 339. Bea is not in her normal wrestling attire for her presentation of her comments. She is instead wearing blue jeans and a black pullover shirt. The camera person informs Bea they are live broadcasting so she begins her comments.

Bea:  Before I launch into comments to tear down my opponent. . .Curious George. . .I mean Georgie Robertson. . .for Climax Control 339 I need to get a few items presented to show you what’s going on in the world.

THINGS HAPPENING TO BEA’S FRIENDS

Bea:  The first item is about my friend, Teresa, and her son who is in his 20’s and they live near us in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He was at a gas station to get gas for his car and he was approached by a criminal who demanded his wallet and the keys to his car. Teresa’s son managed to get away from the thug and get in his car and he started to drive off but the criminal still managed to shoot him. We think he was hit in the neck or head and Teresa told me it is likely her son would end up paralyzed. I know what some of you think. You think when this happens you should just cry and shake like a coward and hand over your wallet or purse and car keys to the criminal. People who tell you to do that believe if you do that the criminal won’t harm you. Yeah. . .Right!!! Ask yourself what if Teresa’s son had given his wallet and keys to his car to the criminal? There is a 90 percent chance the criminal would have still shot him after gaining possession of the wallet and car. So my advice is to never cower from people and to stand up and take control of the situation.

Bea sighs. . .

Bea:  My other friend, Amy, has two children. One graduated from Berkmar High School in Lawrenceville, Georgia, for the 2022 class. Her other daughter just started Middle School in Lawrenceville. On Thursday, August 4, 2022, she was apprehended by Gwinnett Police with the claim that she had an outstanding Warrant on file for failing to show up for her court case for Divorce from her abusive husband. This man is the father of her daughter in Middle School but not the daughter of her 18 year old daughter who just graduated High School.

Bea sighs again. . .

Bea:  Here’s the deal. Yes there was a Warrant issued during her divorce case against her husband. The Warrant was only in place to ensure she shows up in court on the date the Divorce is to be decided upon by the presiding Judge. Toward the end of 2020 Amy and her husband came to an agreement to drop the Divorce process in the Court and work things out through counseling. What that meant is that since the Divorce case was no longer in place then the Attorneys on both sides of the case should have contacted Cherokee County, Georgia, to inform them that since there is no longer a Divorce case pending that the Warrant to appear for the Judge’s ruling on the Divorce is no longer required and has been cancelled. Well. . .f*ck. . .nobody remembered to tell the Court system in Cherokee County, Georgia. Amy’s Attorney, and her husband’s Attorney, both failed to take the action necessary to cancel this Warrant since there is no reason to show in Court to hear the decision on the Divorce case when the Divorce was dropped by both Amy and her husband. This meant that Amy was arrested for violating the warrant for failing to appear for her Divorce case but the Divorce case was cancelled over a year ago and was not active for her to show up for it. Amy spent three days in custody in the detention center for failing to show for a case that was cancelled over a year ago. How stupid is that eh?

Bea sighs again but this time she rolls her eyes. . .

Bea:  Want to know what the worst part about this is? It isn’t that Amy is divorcing her husband. It isn’t that Amy has two children to take care of. When I bailed Amy out of Cherokee County Detention Center, at a cost of $1,200 that I withdrew from my bank account, you would have thought Amy would be so damn happy to be out of the Detention Center that she would have thanked me for bailing her out and she would have told me she will pay me back quickly. Nope! She didn’t thank me for bailing her out. She didn’t mention that she’ll ensure she pays me back for the $1,200 I used to bail her out. She didn’t do or say anything that showed she appreciated what I did for her getting her out of Jail on Bail. Yep. . .nothing at all from Amy! I assure you two things. She damn well better pay me back quickly or the next time she gets arrested I won’t bail her out as I’ll leave her to rot in jail!

Bea gain lets out another sigh. . .

BEA TALKS TO GEORGIE ROBERTSON

Bea:  Georgie you’re probably wondering why I told you the two items about my friend’s son getting shot and my other friend, Amy, getting arrested and I bailed her out. I told you because you need to know that you, and most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling, are like that thug who tried to steal the wallet and car from Teresa’s son then he shot him when he tried to get away from the thug. You’re a bunch of lazy jerk asshole fools who want to steal stuff from other wrestlers. You want to try to get around the rules to get cheap wins. You’re in for a rude awakening against me Georgie I don’t do stupid dog tricks like ROLL OVER AND PLAY DEAD as you’ll find out on Sunday. As for the other incident of Amy getting arrested, me bailing her out, and she didn’t even thank me for what I did for her, that’s an example of how you and the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling are. You all lie, cheat, and steal, then you all condemn wrestlers like me and Bill who work hard in the sport and achieve our success due to our hard work and dedication.

Bea takes a deep breath then continues with her comments. . .

Bea:  So you are my next opponent who is a Brit  named Georgie Robertson. The first thing that came to my mind was Curious George the Monkey. I’m expecting to see Georgie Robertson walk around the corner followed by The Man with the Yellow Hat. Maybe you can hire a Manager who dresses like The Man with the Yellow Hat eh Georgia? Ha ha ha!!!

Bea cannot help but laugh at her comments.

Bea:  Well, well, well, I get to face a Brit wrestler named Curious George. Okay. . .her name is Georgie Robertson. . .so f*cking what. Regardless of what I call you, Georgie, you remain a joke in my eyes. Coming into this match we’re even on height and weight with me being five feet five inches and one hundred thirty pounds and you being five feet six inches and one hundred thirty-three pounds. It appears you like to consider yourself as cocky and that’s expected because most Brits are cocky, sarcastic, and stupid. I also reviewed your move set listed and I got so bored I fell asleep several times. I kept reviewing your move set but kept dozing off from boredom and waking up to continue reading your nonsense.

A CALL FROM CAMP BOW WOW

Bea’s cell phone rings and she checks the caller ID and it says the call is from Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where Iris, her English Bulldog, is boarding.

Bea:  Please excuse me for a moment while I take this call. I need to make sure Iris isn’t having a problem. Since I’m don’t hide stuff from everyone else, like the majority of my opponents do, I’ll place the call on speaker so you can hear the conversation.

Bea answers the call and begins to talk with Edwin who is the Manager of Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

Bea:  Hi Edwin! I’m surprised I’m getting a call from Camp Bow Wow. Is Iris okay? Is there a problem?

Edwin:  No, Bea, there’s not a major problem. Iris is okay and she’s eating and playing with the other dogs in boarding, but she seems a bit depressed and sad.

Bea:  Well that’s most likely because me and Bill are on tour in India wrestling for Sin City Wrestling and Iris misses us. We will be back in a few weeks and Iris will be okay. But I do have a possible solution. After our call I’ll text you the number of Senor Vinnie who is our friend and fellow wrestler in Sin City Wrestling. He will give you the number of where his friend, Pete the Cactus, is being taken care of and you can call them and if Pete isn’t too far away from Lawrenceville, Georgia, you can ask if they can bring Pete the Cactus to Camp Bow Wow to have a play date with Iris. For sure that will perk her up. And if Pete the Cactus is too far away to make the trip to Camp Bow Wow then ask them to set up a video call on the computer so that Iris can have face time on video call with Pete the Cactus.

Edwin:  Okay, Bea, thanks! I’ll do all I can to keep Iris happy and perked up.

Bea ends the call and returns to looking into the camera to present comments concerning her upcoming match.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Sorry about that. I apologize for the distraction but the well-being of Iris is important to me and Bill. I’m happy Iris is okay except that she misses us. Hopefully Camp Bow Wow can get Pete the Cactus to either show up and talk with Iris or at least talk to her via video call.

Bea:  Thanks for allowing me to talk with Edwin at Camp Bow Wow so he can help Iris chill out until me and Bill return home from this Tour. So, Little Miss Georgie Robertson, what are you thinking? Okay. . .okay…sorry for asking you to think as I know that people who have little pea brains like yours that thinking makes your head hurt. So since you now have a killer headache due to me asking you a simple question I’ll take the position of answering what I think you’re thinking. You probably think I’m going to be an easy match for you but that proves you aren’t thinking. You’re thinking irrationally and not logically but it is still the same thing that you’re not thinking about me standing opposite the ring in our match. You’re probably thinking that I’ll be easy to take out. Again you’re not thinking logically or  intelligently. You’re probably like all the other mindless morons who follow-the-leader in claiming that I did something I never did. If you’re one of them that means I need to kick the bullshit out of you then kick some common sense into you. Perhaps, Georgie, you think you can call on your friends to come to the ring to interfere in our match so you can get a cheap win. Good grief girl! Do you even have one honest logical thought in your head? I’m not buying the hype people are putting on you. I’ve seen those like you come and go dozens of times. Talk talk talk is all you do and the saying goes that talk is cheap. When Sunday, August 14, 2022, rolls around you can no longer hide behind a camera and talk shit about me. All the talk ends on Sunday and that’s when I put you in your place which is in the corner where I sit you and tell you to shut the f*ck up or I’ll beat more crap out of you some more. Think what you want Georgie. Feel what you want Georgie. No matter what you think or feel I win this match and I move on and move up in the rankings. I sure love over-confident opponents because they tend to make rookie mistakes which is unforgivable in this sport. You know what? I hope you have a nice few days leading up to our match. After I hurt you in our match and hand you a loss there’s going to be way less nice days in your life.

<font color=whiteBea informs the camera person she is done with her comments so they call into the Network to ask them what they want them to do and the Network informs them to cut their camera feed and the Network will return to regularly scheduled programming for this time slot.


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Climax Control Archives / LACHLAN KANE WILL NEED A CANE AFTER OUR MATCH
« on: August 04, 2022, 06:24:11 PM »
LACHLAN KANE WILL NEED A CANE AFTER OUR MATCH

Narrator:  Bill has a match coming up for Climax Control 338 against Lachlan Kane. Bill is looking forward to this match, as he does for all his matches, and he is ready to discuss his upcoming match with you.

The scene switches to the broadcast studio in the Kanteerava Indoor Stadium in Bangalore, India. Bill is sitting at a table to give his comments on his upcoming match. He is casually dressed in blue jeans and a pink pullover shirt. When the Manager of the broadcast studio informs Bill they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

GREETINGS TO IRIS

Bill:  Bea is not in the studio with me today as this is my air time to present comments for my match at Climax Control 338 against Lachlan Kane. Before I launch into my comments I wish to greet my English Bulldog, Iris, who I hope is watching this broadcast at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, where she is in boarding until we return home from this tour.

Bill clears his throat then he gets ready to give his presentation.

BILL’S HISTORY IN TWO PREVIOUS WRESTLING FEDERATIONS LEADING UP TO SIN CITY WRESTLING.

Bill:  Before I launch into comments directly to you, Lachlan, I want to give you a bit of information on how I am as a wrestler. I’ll take you back to when I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance then to my time in Sin City Wrestling.

Bill takes a drink of water before continuing with his comments.

Bill:  When I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance, which is the Wrestling Federation where Goth was the Owner, I was a multi-time Grand Slam Champion. I was also one of the most successful Hardcore Champions in the history of that Federation. When Asylum Wrestling Alliance decided to close their doors I moved to another Wrestling Federation. I was also successful holding  Championships there. My major achievement in that Wrestling Federation was winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to claim the Championship for any length of time as the owners of that Federation went belly-up financially and closed close up shop. Even though I didn’t have a chance to defend that Championship due to that situation the Record books show I was their last World Heavyweight Champion.

Bill again takes a drink of water before he continues.

Bill:  When they closed up shop I signed on with Sin City Wrestling. I’m honest that I expected I would win all the Championships available to me in a short period of time. Nothing changed in my wrestling. Nothing changed in my desire. The only thing that changed is that I went from two Wrestling Federations that had very good talent to Sin City Wrestling that has great talent. Maybe I took the other wrestlers lightly and it cost me by missing out on obtaining numerous Championships.

Bill breaks to stretch and then he continues with his comments.

BILL’S HISTORY IN SIN CITY WRESTLING

Bill:  The bottom line is that I kept looking forward, I kept moving ahead, and I kept my determination to obtain Championships when the opportunities came my way. Then, on October 23, 2021, I earned the Roulette Championship. That brought us to Climax Control 326 where I held the Roulette Championship for six months, and during those six months I successfully defended the Roulette Championship three times, but at Climax Control 326 I lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan. I have no regrets and nothing has changed in my approach and attitude toward wrestling.

Bill flashes a smile into the camera.

BILL VERSUS LACHLAN

Bill:  Hi Lachlan. Did you miss me? Have you been wondering where I’ve been? Did you hope something happened to me or that I forgot we were having a matc?Not sure why you would waste your time and energy looking for answers to those questions. You need to remember that Satan came after my soul and I defeated his sorry ass so he can never challenge for my soul again so do you honestly think you’re able to take me out? Did you honestly think I went into hiding because you haven’t heard comments from me for nearly a week? Ha ha ha! I’m always the one to be in the face of others so that line of thinking by you is bullshit. Never in my wrestling career have I turned away from a match and refused to participate in the match. Never in my wrestling career have I backed down after a match started. I’ve been in more horrifying, terrifying, violent, and life-threatening matches than everyone on the Sin City Wrestling Roster combined. I’m still here asshole! I’m still going to take you out and dump you in the trash dumpster to be ready for the next trash pickup. Remember that if Satan was unable to intimidate me and take possession of my soul what gives you the right to claim that you can intimidate me and destroy me? Yeah! That’s what I thought!

Bill lets out a hearty laugh before continuing with his comments.

Bill:  Let me start by letting the viewers know that we have no history in the ring against each other. It appears this match is designed to create a history between us. I see you held the Mixed Tag Team Championship which is something me and Bea have also done. But that’s where the similarity in the wrestling history for us ends. You have not obtained, then successfully defended, the Roulette Championship for six months as I did. Yes I finally lost the Roulette Championship but I lost it to a young man who has already proven he can overcome adversity and be a great Champion.

Bill against pauses to drink more water and clear his throat.

Bill:  I have been informed that your style of wrestling is a combination of Technical and speed while my style of wrestling is Technical and brawler. Since we are even on the Technical aspect of wrestling what that leaves us is your speed against my ability to destroy you. Remember there is a saying that goes that YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE! and that will come into play during our match. You may also think that your speed might allow you to get in and land blows on me and give you the speed to get away before I can retaliate. Oh, Lachlan, if I had a Dollar for every opponent who thought that, and I taught them they were wrong, I would have hundreds of Dollars.

Bill glares into the camera.

Bill:  Okay, Lachlan, what’s the bottom line of our match? Other than I’m winning and you’re losing I’d like to bring up a few items. There’s two terms that come into play in our match. One is REACTIVE and one is PROACTIVE. Being proactive means you plan ahead to ensure everything goes the way they are supposed to go. Being reactive means you wait until something happens and you try to counter it with your reaction to the situation. Here are a few examples. When driving if you are proactive you plan ahead so you know where you are going but if you’re reactive you just drive along thinking you know where you’re going then you get lost and waste time trying to find your way to your destination. If you are reactive you might see a swimming pool and run toward it and jump into the air to execute a dive only to find out the pool has no water in it. However if you are proactive you check the pool to ensure it has water in it before you take that dive. In the sport of wrestling if you’re reactive you spend the majority of your time on defense while your opponent beats the crap out of you with their offense. If you’re proactive you spend the majority of your time on offense beating the crap out of your opponent. I hope that was simple enough for your little pea brain to understand. HAR HAR HAR!!!

Bill takes time to get her laughter under control before continuing with his comments.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  Oh, Kane, what else can I say that will ensure you understand you are about to get a hell of a hard beat down by me and you’re going to lose this match? I guess my words are either meaningless to you or you don’t give a damn what other people do or say or what they are capable of in the wrestling ring. If you haven’t figured out yet that this match is going to be your demise at my hands. It will be like a lightning strike hitting you. Just as with lightning, where you see the flash before it is several seconds before you hear the thunder, so my attacks on you will be. You won’t see my blows coming but you will feel them. Then, like with lightning, you won’t hear the sounds for several seconds. Then again if I knock you out you won’t hear anything for a time. I don’t care if you have a fan base larger than mine or that you think your fan base is larger than mine. I don’t care if you think your wrestling abilities are better than mine or you think your wrestling abilities are better than mine. I don’t give a damn about anything you think or do. I enjoy wrestling and I enjoy destroying opponents. My hope is that you, as my opponent, enjoy getting destroyed as much as I’ll enjoy destroying you. I sure hope you have a good time leading up to our match because after I leave you crumpled up on the mat, with my hand raised in victory, there will be no more good times for  you. I’ll enjoy beating you down so hard that you, Lachlan Kane, will be using the assistance of a cane to help you walk for weeks after our match.

Bill informs the Manager of the Broadcast Studio that he is done with his comments. They acknowledge this and the cut the camera feed and return to regularly scheduled programming.


3
THE BOMBSHELL INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE MINE

Narrator:  Bea Barnhart has put up with a lot of insults, false accusations, and stupidity, from the rest of the Roster. Now, at Climax Control 337, Bea is in a multi-wrestler match to determine who the next Bombshell Internet Champion will be. I don’t even need to mention this, but I will anyway, that Bea is leaving this match as the newly crowned Bombshell Internet Champion.

RECKLESS DRIVERS, STUPID PEOPLE, AND A KAREN ALSO

The scene changes to a video of incidents Bea Barnhart has had to endure recently. These incidents happened in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and the Network is presenting these videos to show you what Bea has to put up with all the time. We see Bea driving in her Hyundai Palisade to go shopping at Kroger and Wal-Mart near her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We watch as Bea isn’t even out of their housing development when a reckless driver nearly hits her car. She flips off the ignorant driver then she continues to Herrington Road to go into Kroger. Again there is a reckless driver that cuts her off while she is trying to turn into a parking spot. Bea goes inside Kroger and shortly she exits Kroger so she can to go Wal-Mart to pick up some items that Kroger doesn’t have.

Bea:  So damn many reckless and inconsiderate drivers recently in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Reminds me of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who are reckless, inconsiderate, and accusing.

Bea arrives at Wal-Mart where she parks and goes inside. The camera person follows her as she shops for the items she needs. As Bea goes to the self checkout lane the woman in front of her obviously doesn’t know what the hell she is doing. This reminds Bea of the majority of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who also don’t know what the hell they’re doing. The woman at the register keeps inserting various credit cards and ATM cards and all of them are being declined. This is apparently due to her not having money in those accounts or, if she’s using an ATM card, she is entering the wrong PIN number.

Bea:  Excuse me! If you are having issues with your credit cards and ATM cards at the self checkout could you please take your items over to the regular checkout lanes to allow the Wal-Mart employees to properly process your purchases. I need you to move so I can get my purchases home and put away.

The Woman We Will Call Karen:  What? You don’t tell me what to do! You’re an Asian and I don’t take crap from Asians! What the hell do you know compared to a White woman like me?

Bea:  *yelling out loudly so everyone in the store can hear* News flash! We have a KAREN at Wal-Mart who is stupid on how to properly use the self-checkout machine and she’s also racist against Asians. Nice going Karen!

The Woman We Will Call Karen:  How do you know my name is Karen?

Bea:  Oh. . .just a lucky guess. . .Now either move your items to a regular checkout lane to get a Wal-Mart employee to help you check out or I’ll forcibly move you!

The woman, Karen, hails a Wal-Mart person who takes all her items to their register where they still can’t get the items paid for since this Karen has no money in all her financial accounts. Bea quickly scans her items then brushes past the Karen to leave the store and go home ensuring she flashes Karen a sarcastic grin of satisfaction her way out of the store. This infuriates Karen where she starts hurling insults and racist comments against Asians again to which Bea politely replies with a middle-finger salute. Bea gets to her Hyundai Palisade and take off to drive home.

Bea:  Too damn many ignorant, insulting, and racist, people in the world. Glad I was able to leave that Karen in Wal-Mart to deal with her stupidity. Damn! She’s probably so damn stupid that she forgets to wipe after she take a crap.

Bea arrives home and the camera person gets out of her car and they cut their camera feed.

AT THE HOTEL IN JAIPURI, INDIA

The scene shifts to the hotel in Jaipuri, India, where Bea and Bill are staying for Climax Control 337. The hotel is not far from the Sawai Mansingh Indoor Stadium where Bea will participate in a six wrestler match to determine who the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion will be. Bill and Bea are sitting at a small dining table near the kitchen area. Bea has her laptop computer on and she and Bill are doing something but we don’t know what they are doing yet.

VIDEO CALL WITH IRIS

Bea:  Hi and welcome to our hotel room in Jaipuri, India. I’m getting ready to defeat five pathetic opponents to become the next Bombshell Internet Champion but first we’re going to have a video call with Iris to see how she’s doing with boarding at Camp Bow Wow. Although Iris is in boarding at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, I made arrangements with the Manager, Edwin, to allow Iris to conduct a video call with us. There’s Iris on the computer video call now! HI IRIS!

Bill:  Hi Iris! How’s my baby girl?

Iris doesn’t appear happy to see Daddy Bill and Mommy Bea. This is probably due to her not liking having to be in boarding at Camp Bow Wow rather than being at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Iris gives a grumpy look and sad eyes as she lets out a snort of complaint.

Bea:  I’m sorry we had to put you in Camp Bow Wow for boarding while we’re participating in wrestling events in India. We couldn’t risk you getting harmed on the trip so at least we know you’re safe and loved there at Camp Bow Wow.

Bill:  Come on Iris. Give a smile to Daddy.

Iris is grumpy, which is understandable, but when she turns her back to the camera and sulks it breaks the hearts of Bill and Bea.

Bill:  We’ll be home soon and then you’ll be back home in your own bedroom. Until then enjoy being spoiled by the staff at Camp Bow Wow.

Bea:  Iris you know the television show CHEERS where, that when Norm walks into the bar, everyone yells out NORM!!! right?  Remember, Iris, that every time you enter Camp Bow Wow all the Counselors in the room stand up and yell out IRIS!!! so that proves you’re loved. I know you miss us, and we miss you, but we can still give each other a virtual kiss since we’re on a video call. Come on Iris! Give Mommy and Daddy a kiss!

Iris turns around facing the camera and she licks the camera and the image we see on Bea’s laptop computer is totally blurred due to Iris slobbering on the camera.

Bea:  Thanks for the virtual kiss Iris! We love you! Bye!

Bea ends the video call with Iris. Bill leaves the table to go on the couch while Bea moves moves the laptop computer to the side of the table then she takes a position where the camera person can get a good shot of her as she comments on her upcoming match. Bill didn’t want to get in the way of Bea’s presentation for her match.

TIME TO ADDRESS MY OPPONENTS

Bea:  Now comes the time when I get to talk to my five opponents. We’re in a six wrestler match to determine who becomes the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion. We all know that person will be me. But I guess I still have to explain that to my five opponents as I don’t believe their mental comprehension skills are working at higher than a moron level. To be fair to my opponents I’ll address them alphabetically, by their first name, so that nobody thinks they’re more special than the others because they were mentioned before the others were mentioned. Once again you’ll find me to be direct and honest in my comments.

Bea holds one finger up.

Bea:  Ariana I start with you because your first name starts with A. We have no history against each other in the ring. Both of us are coming into this match not having experience against the other. However before you get an attitude and think I’m easy to eliminate from this match let me tell you what you’re in for. The way to eliminate an opponent from the match is to toss them out of the ring where both their feet touch the floor. It will be easy to eliminate you as you will find out.

Bea holds two fingers up.

Bea:  Next I come to Kayla Richards. From what I’ve seen of you I’ve come to the conclusion that you are a pathetic piece of crap wrestler who has to resort to underhanded and sneaky attacks on other wrestlers to try to inflict damage on them. It seems extremely pathetic that you have to resort to that crap because you don’t have the wrestling abilities to back up what your mouth is saying. Don’t worry Kayla as I’ll eliminate you quickly in this match so you won’t have to endure the humiliation of the fans taunting you over your pathetic wrestling during the match. Of course for weeks after our match the fans will continue to taunt you for your pathetic performance in our match.

Bea holds three fingers up.

Bea:  Now to you Keira. I know you have a somewhat impressive record here in Sin City Wrestling. I also know that somehow you’ve managed to avoid having a match against me. I wonder how that happened Keira. Did you run to Management and tell them you are afraid to wrestle against me? Did you pay them bribe money to keep them from assigning you to a match with me? I don’t have the answers to those questions as only you can answer them. When you step into the ring at Climax Control 337 and I eliminate you then all your questions will be answered.

Bea holds four fingers up.

Bea:  Now I come to the only wrestler in our match that I have respect for and that is Seleana Zdunich. Seleana you may be asking yourself why I respect you and that’s a good question. The reason is that I’ve had three matches with you and you defeated me in two of those matches. In the third match you pinned someone else for the win in a multi-wrestler match. I admire your work in the ring. I admire what you’ve accomplished. Of my five opponents in our match you’re the one I want most to eliminate to prove I am what I claim I am. It is a pleasure and honor to face you again.

Bea holds five fingers up.

Bea:  Now I finish up talking to Tempest. You’re not last in my comments due to me thinking poorly of you so don’t go there. I stated up front that I was addressing my five opponents by where their first names land alphabetically. So, Tempest, we had one match, which was a Mixed Tag Team Championship match, and your team got the win when you pinned me. That was well over a year ago so if you think I’m the same wrestler I was back then you’re only deceiving yourself. I’ve come a long way and I have no problem tossing you out of the ring and ensuring both your feet touch the floor so you get eliminated.

Bea claps her hands then gives a stern look into the camera as she continues with her comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Having five opponents in this match is interesting and fun. You simply cannot focus on just one wrestler while ignoring the others. If you do that you end up failing to eliminate the wrestler you are trying to eliminate but at the same time you can have someone come up and eliminate you. It’s an interesting situation where you have to be focused on the wrestler in front of you and the other wrestlers who are behind you or next to you. I’ve discussed this match with Bill and he’s been working with me to ensure I have great ring presence, that I don’t allow myself to be ganged up on by the other wrestlers, and that I quickly eliminate my opponents by sending them to the arena floor where both their feet touch the floor for the elimination.

Bea raises her arms into the air in a victory pose.

Bea:  I have every intention of winning this match and being crowned the Bombshell Internet Champion. I have five opponents who have the same intention so this match is going to be a combination of fast, furious, hard-hitting, aggressive, and punishing. The bottom line is who the last wrestler standing is in the ring when the other five wrestlers have been eliminated. That last wrestler standing in the ring will be ME so get used to calling me Bea Barnhart. . .Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Internet Champion!

Bea laughs loudly.

Bea:  With six wrestlers involved in our match that gives each wrestler a 16.6 percent chance of winning. When one is eliminated and I’m left with four opponents each of us then has a 20 percent chance of winning. When me and three others wrestlers are remaining that gives each of us a 25 percent chance of winning. Then when it comes down to me and two other wrestlers we each have a 33.3 percent chance of winning. And then, when it comes down to me and one other wrestler we each have a 50 percent chance of winning the match. Ha ha ha!!! Who are they kidding? If my five opponents feel they have anywhere from 16.6 percent to 50 percent chance of winning they are deceived. From the instant the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match I have 100 percent chance of winning!

Bea gain bursts out in loud laughter.

Bea:  I feel it is great that the other opponnets in my match are taking me lightly. After I win the Internet Championship they will all be taking me seriously and demanding a shot at my Internet Championship!

Bea tells the camera person she is done with her comments and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


4
Climax Control Archives / ALEXANDER YOUR PAYMENT IS DUE
« on: July 20, 2022, 09:17:55 AM »
PAYMENT IS DUE

Narrator:  I had a discussion with Bill Barnhart before coming on the air to present opening comments to you. Bill is fired up being in the Main Event against Alexander Raven for another chance to become a two-time Roulette Champion. Bill told me he has several items to talk about before talking to directly to Alexander Raven so let’s get this party started!

PROTECTING IRIS

The scene opens in Bill’s hotel room located near the Sandar Vallabhbhai Patel Indoor Stadium in Mumbai, India. We do not see Bea or Iris which makes us wonder where they might be but we’re sure Bill will let us know. Bill is sitting on the couch and when the camera person gives him the signal that they are live broadcasting Bill launches into his comments.

Bill:  I have several comments to get out of the way before I inform Alexander Raven why he’s losing the Roulette Championship to me and I walk away as a two-time Roulette Champion at Climax Control 336.

Bill holds one finger up.

Bill:  The first item is why Iris is not with us on this trip to India for this tour. I heard that the people in India, like those of Korea, consider dog to be a delicacy. Since Iris is plump I felt it wouldn’t be right to risk her life bringing her on this trip to India. Iris remained in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and she is boarding at Camp Bow Wow there. Iris will miss her Daddy and Mommy but she has to realize her safety is more important than her traveling with us on this tour.

NO SPEEDO

Bill holds two fingers up.

Bill:  The second item is that even though my two recent Speedo incidents brought enjoyment and thrills to the fans Management has decided not to put me on the billing at Bill “Speedo” Barnhart. They said they will only use Bill “BULLDOG” Barnhart. Nothing like a wrestler having a bit of fun, thrilling the crowd, and making the other wrestlers jealous. But since Management controls the Federation I respect their decision and move on.

BEA AS MY MANAGER

Bill holds three fingers up.

Bill:  My third item to discuss is Bea. Bea is on this tour with me but she is currently taking a nap in the other room as the flight was long and she wanted to rest. We are both going to miss Iris but we will be fine and so will Iris. Bea asked me to let you know that she will be at ringside during the Main Event as she is my Manager. She said for me to remind everyone that she no longer carries a spray bottle of perfume with her when she is serving as my Manager. Bea also said she hopes the Roulette Wheel will stop on a type of Roulette Rules match that allows both Alexander Raven and me to go all out, fully within the rules, and the winner, me of course, doesn’t have their win tainted by controversy.

SHORT BREAK

Bill informs the camera person he will take a very short break to get something to drink. When Bill returns from his drink break he again sits down on the couch to continue with his comments.

THE TRUTH ABOUT ALEXANDER RAVEN

Bill:  Well, Alexander, I now turn my comments to you. Most likely you won’t like what I have to say but I don’t give a damn what you like or don’t like as I’m here to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, regardless of whether you like what I have to say or not.

Bill grins.

Bill:  Raven you have to admit, and you cannot deny it as you’ve stated it many times yourself, that your record in wrestling isn’t stellar. . .it isn’t great. . .and it can barely be classified as good. You’ve admitted numerous times that you were the cause of your failures in the wrestling ring. I will give you credit that recently you managed to stay focused on your matches and end up with a few wins and you were successful at Summer XXXTreme X at defending the Roulette Championship. But we know how you are Alexander. You end up with a few wins and you forget all those losses you took, all those failures you endured, and your ego gets bigger than what you are able to back up. I can’t wait to watch you self-destruct during our match.

Bill presents an even larger grin than before.

Bill:  So, Raven, how do you really feel about us being in the Main Event for Climax Control 336? I feel outstanding knowing that we’re in the Main Event due to me being in this match. Management knows who the real money draws are and when they look at me they see huge dollar signs flashing in their eyes. No, Alexander, I don’t take you lightly as I know you can get the job done if you knew how to properly apply yourself. I would never take the chance of taking  you lightly and then you have that moment where you happen to actually perform well in a match and I let the match slip away. That’s damn sure not going to happen in our match at Climax Control 336.

WHAT THIS MATCH COMES DOWN TO

Bill:  So, Raven, what do I feel this match comes down to? It comes down to where the Roulette Wheel stops to determine what type of match rules. . .or no rules at all. . .that we will have for our match. I personally hope the Roulette Wheel will land on NO RULES or ANYTHING GOES so that the winner of our match. . .me of course. . .walks away from the match with the fans talking about my performance for months for months. However, Raven, no matter where the Roulette Wheel lands I have the advantage. You have to understand that this is not a four wrestler Ultimate X Over The Pool match like we had at Summer XXXTreme X. That type of match, although demanding and fun, doesn’t get the point across as does a one-on-one match like we are having at Climax Control 336. It is way easier to get a wrestler to lose their grip on the scaffolding and drop into the pool than to be in the ring and have to totally earn the win.

PAYMENT IS DUE

Bill:  Alexander I’ll end my comments by stating that PAYMENT IS DUE. What I mean by that is I feel you squeaked by in your match where you regained the Roulette Championship and then you again squeaked by in the Ultimate X Over The Pool match at Summer XXXTreme X. Unless you are a mouse your squeaking has ended and you’re going to lose to me at Climax Control 336. I have come to collect your payment which is overdue. That payment consists of the Roulette Championship which rightfully belongs to me. When the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match your ass is mine. You can run but you will not be able to hide from me. You can yell and scream and hurl threats at me but your screams and threats are useless against me The bottom line is that the instant the bell rings I will be on you in a flash and I’m not going to let up on you until the bell rings again to end our match and I am officially announced as the winner and a two-time Roulette Champion. That’s the payment that is due from you Alexander. PAY UP THEN SHUT UP!!!

We can tell Bill is about to close his presentation but he returns to gazing into the camera.

Bill:  Raven I’m sure you are familiar with George Thorogood’s song titled BAD TO THE BONE. Let me have the studio play the official music video for you.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE MUSIC VIDEO

The video is finished playing and we return to a shot of Bill Barnhart.

Bill:  Well, Alexander, I’m the wrestler who is bad to the bone. I’m the person George Thorogood had in mind when he wrote that song. When you step into the ring with me at Climax Control 336 you need to realize you’re stepping into the ring with one of the baddest mother *bleep*ers on the planet! I promise when our match is over you will hold an interview and when they ask you why you lost the match and the Roulette Championship to me your only response will be BECAUSE BILL BARNHART IS BAD TO THE BONE!

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network to inform them and they tell the camera person to cut their camera feed and they do and our screen goes dark.


5
I WILL BECOME A TWO-TIME ROULETTE CHAMPION

Bea is finished with her comments and she steps out of camera range to allow Bill go get on camera to present his comments for his match at Summer XXXTreme X.

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is confident he will win the Ultimate X Over The Pool Roulette Championship match to become a two-time Roulette Champion.

Bill:  Hi and welcome to our cabin on the Sun Princess cruise ship. Nice to be able to enjoy a cabin on a cruise ship as a change from the normal dressing room accommodations we usually get at wrestling events. Bea had some nice comments for Samantha Marlowe and now I’ll present comments concerning the Ultimate X Over The Pool Roulette Championship which is the match to open Summer XXXTreme X. To be fair to my opponents, so nobody feels I’m playing favorites or disrespecting someone, I’ll mention my opponents in the order they are listed on the card for our match.

Bill clears his throat then starts his comments.

Bill:  Alexander Raven you’re first on my comments. I commend you on your win to earn the Roulette Championship. However before you get a huge ego and think you can repeat that performance to retain the Roulette Championship let me enlighten you. You’re the target of all the wrestlers in our match as you hold possession of the Roulette Championship. Your handicap, if you want to call it that, is that you tend to have memory lapses and make mistakes in matches. Once you hesitate in our match you’ll get eliminated. It really is that simple to understand.

Bill looks over at Bea and she gives him a thumbs up on his comments to Alexander Raven.

Bill:  Next in line is Finn Whelan. Now, Finn, I cannot deny that you managed to win the Roulette Championship but you also managed to quickly lose it. Nothing like having slippery hands eh! You do have nice abilities in the sport of wrestling but your mental awareness, to remain focused at all times, is where you lack. If you take your focus off anything during our match I will take the advantage and you will be eliminated.

Bill chuckles

Bill:  Finally I come to Miles Kasey. I’ll be honest with you Miles. Compared to Alexander and Finn you actually come across looking fairly good. Not a good as me. . .but still fairly good compared to Raven and Whelan. I’m not sure what your game plan is for our match but I damn sure know what my game plan is. No matter what the three of you think or feel or try during the match I plan on winning the match and becoming a two-time Roulette Champion.

Bill glances over at Bea again and this time she gives him two thumbs up

WHAT THIS MATCH COMES DOWN TO

Bill:  Are you three asking yourselves what this match comes down to and are you asking yourselves what it will take to win this match? Probably not. I always think and plan ahead on all my matches. I’ve been in the sport of wrestling a long time and there’s things I know and understand that I don’t believe you three will ever know and understand. The key element in an Ultimate X Over The Pool Roulette match is simple. You are not in the match to pin your opponents. You are not in the match to make your opponents submit. You are not in the match to knock them out with a submission hold. The only way to win is to eliminate your opponents is to knock them off the X over the pool and cause them to drop into the pool causing them to be eliminated from the match. Even though I just told you three everything you need to know about this match I’m positive the three of you will figure out a way to f*ck it up and lose. Oh well. Shit happens. I win. . .you three lose. . .deal with it!

Bill is done with his comments. He looks at Bea and the two of them turn and take off down the passageway to get to their cabin.


6
Supercard Archives / Re: BEA BARNHART v SAMANTHA MARLOWE
« on: July 06, 2022, 08:44:51 AM »
SAM YOU WILL BE UPSET WHEN YOU LOSE TO ME

Narrator:  Bea told me how much fun she is going to have destroying Samantha Marlowe and putting her in her place. This is going to be an epic match for Bea Barnhart.

ARRIVAL AT THE SUN PRINCESS CRUISE SHIP

We see Bill and Bea Barnhart when they arrived at the Sun Princess cruise ship and boarded. They are minus Iris, their English Bulldog, as she is at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, while Bill and Bea are on the cruise ship. Bill and Bea make their way to their cabin. When they walk in we can see the satisfaction on their faces at what they have been assigned. They have a room that is not too large, nor too small, and they have an outside view although the view looks across the deck where people walk. The two place their bags to the side and then there is a knock on the door of their room. When they open the door they are introduced to a camera person who has been assigned to air their comments. They tell Bill and Bea that they will start by airing Bea’s comments then continue with comments from Bill. With that information Bill moves out of camera view so that Bea has full coverage without him being in the camera view.

TALKING SHIT

Bea:  There’s several meanings for the term TALKING SHIT and I shall explain them to you. The meaning most commonly referred to is when someone talks smack but they have quality to back up their smack talk. In my case I do smack talk but I back up my smack talk with facts and other information to where there is no doubt, from anyone listening to my comments, that I tell the truth. Sam, on the other hand, is the epitome of the type of smack talk that is where the person talks nonsense and lies and they stutter so much they sound like the singer Mel Tillis trying to say a few words coherently. I said this was going to happen and it is happening. I said she was going to fall apart and implode when she realized what she got herself into demanding this match against me. Now Sam has nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Damn shame eh?

Bea laughs loudly.

Bea:  Have any of you watching had the pleasure of seeing the results of you telling the truth to others and having them stutter, stammer, and choke on their words, trying to say something intelligent and logical but failing miserably? If you haven’t had that pleasure in person then at least watch the comments Samantha makes and enjoy a hearty laugh at her expense.

Bea laughs loudly again.

Bea:  Sam your comments so far leading up to our match at Summer XXXTreme X are not just hilarious. . .they are pathetic. When you tried to talk shit you failed. Instead of presenting pertinent, logical, and intelligent, comments you ended up stuttering and stammering and tripping over your words. You came across as saying LEFT when you meant RIGHT and DOWN when you meant UP and, unfortunately for you anyway, all that did was make your words stink worse than shit. When I heard what you were saying on camera I honestly felt the need to don a gas mask to keep the stench of your words from causing me to puke. I felt that someone of your abilities in the wrestling ring, and with several Championships attached to your name, that you could have done better. But, alas, I have that effect on others. I have the effect of causing opponents to try to talk but they can only babble and drool down their chin. Sure has to suck being you Sam. That’s all I have to say. The rest of my actions will take place during our match.

Bea is finished with her comments and she steps out of camera range to allow Bill go get on camera to present his comments for his match at Summer XXXTreme X.


7
I WILL BECOME ROULETTE CHAMPION AGAIN

Narrator:  The time has come for Summer XXXTreme X where Bill Barnhart, along with Alexander Raven who became Roulette Champion at Climax Control 335, Finn Whelan who lost the Roulette Championship to Alexander Raven, and Miles Kasey, to face off in the Ultimate X of the Pool match to determine who will exit Summer XXXTreme X as Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion.

SORRY IRIS

The scene comes on our screen and we notice we’re at the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, located in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Bill and Bea are having a conversation with Iris.

Bill:  I’m sorry Iris but I can’t bring you to Summer XXXTreme X on the Sun Princess Cruise Ship. They don’t allow pets so you have to stay here in Lawrenceville, Georgia, at Camp Bow Wow, until we return from Summer XXXTreme X.

The ears of Iris flutter when she hears the name of Camp Bow Wow.

Bea:  Iris you know Matt the Owner of Camp Bow Wow. You also love seeing the Manager, Edwin, and his assistants Allison and Jordan, as you’ve known them for two years now. You’ll be fine.

Iris is still sad that she can’t go to Summer XXXTreme with them but she perks up when she hears the name of Camp Bow Wow and the names of Matt, Edwin, Allison, and Jordan. When Iris leaves the room she seems to be happy and we think we see a smile on her face.

SUMMER XXXTREME ULTIMATE X ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Bill:  Bea you know I’m in the Roulette Championship match, in an Ultimate X over the Pool match, and I’m facing Alexander Raven, Miles Kasey, and Finn Whelan. This should be an interesting match because Finn lost the Roulette Championship to Alexander Raven at Climax Control 335. That means Whelan wants to get the Roulette Championship back but I also know that since Alexander Raven holds the Roulette Championship that he’s not planning on letting it go out of his possession any time soon.

Bea:  Why don’t you run down for the viewers your in-ring history with Finn, Miles, and Alexander. It’s always nice to know the background going into an event.

Bill:  I’ve already made a list to discuss those items.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper. He shakes the paper in front of him then he begins reading from it.

Bill:  I’ll keep it simple. I don’t need to mention specific events and dates but I’ll give the short version of my history with Finn, Alexander, and Miles. I’m 0-2-1 against Finn Whelan. Against Alexander Raven I’m 2-0-0. Then against Miles Kasey I’m 1-0-0. With that record against these guys, and the fact that Finn is not the defending Roulette Champion at Summer XXXTreme X, the odds are in my favor.

Bea:  Tell the viewers why you state the odds are in your favor.

Bill:  There are four wrestlers in our match. The way to eliminate them is to knock them off the X that is over the pool causing them to fall into the pool. Since I’ve been in matches like this before, and with Finn being overly-focused on regaining the Roulette Championship from Alexander Raven, that means I’m the only wrestler not distracted by the others. Game on! I win!

WHAT’S THE BOTTOM LINE?

Bill:  I want to get things straight so nobody gets confused. This Ultimate X Over The Pool match for the Roulette Championship is an amazing type of match. It is a match that fits my wrestling style and mental attitude and I’ll walk away as the winner. Do you need to pin your opponent to win? Nope! Do you need to make your opponent submit to win? Nope! You battle it out with your opponents on top of the X set up over the pool. The only way to eliminate someone from the match is to knock them off the X and they drop into the pool. This match is a perfect fit for me. This match puts me in charge of this match. My wrestling style and abilities work in my favor in a match like this. And you want to know what the best part of this match is for me?

Bea:  Sure!

Bill:  My three opponents don’t have what it takes to hang with me in this type of match. They’re not focusing on what it takes to win. They’re like most wrestlers who get assigned to an Ultimate X Over The Pool match. They spend too much time trying hard to prevent the others from eliminating them when they should be going all-out from the bell to aggressively eliminate the other wrestlers in this match.

Bea:  Great point Bill.

Bill:  The key to all wrestling matches, especially with a multi-wrestler match, is to be aware of everything going on around you. My upcoming opponents don’t have the mental ability to realize what is going on every moment of the match and at every turn. The instant they turn their back to me to go after someone else I’ll take them out and be closer to becoming a two-time Roulette Champion. You three can talk all the smack you want but there’s a requirement for doing that. If you talk smack you damn sure better be able to back it up. I know you three can talk shit but that’s all your talk is. . .shit. . .and I’ll take the advantage and walk away the winner of the match and the newly crowned Roulette Champion. Don’t believe me? You’ll believe me at Summer XXXTreme X.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today. The camera person calls into the Network and the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming.


8
Supercard Archives / Re: BEA BARNHART v SAMANTHA MARLOWE
« on: July 01, 2022, 10:38:09 AM »
SO, SAM, YOU’RE STILL UPSET WITH ME?

Narrator:  Bea is tired of hearing the lame accusations from the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling. They have been falsely accusing her and issuing threats and Bea told me she’s had enough. I turn you over to Bea Barnhart at her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia.

SAM IS STILL UPSET WITH ME? I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT SAM THINKS!

We open at the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. They will travel to board the Sun Princess Cruise Ship next week. The camera gets a shot of Bea who is sitting in a chair in her living room. Bea gives a stern look into the camera and launches into her comments on her upcoming match against Samantha Marlowe at Summer XXXTreme X.

Bea:  So, Sam, you’re still upset at nothing? All you do is wah wah wah about non-existent stuff! Your obsession with me is destroying you! Chasing imaginary things, believing those imaginary things are real, only leads to your insanity and your demise. You’re a pathetic piece of shit and everyone knows it! You, and most others on the Roster, continue to claim I did something I didn’t do. You continue to blame me for something I didn’t do. Straight up you’re all liars and you’re trying to focus everyone’s attention on me to take the negative attention off of you all. Nice try but that bullshit isn’t working! Well it does appear to be working on others who are dumber than you and that’s why they believe your lies. However people who have logically working brains see through the bullshit from you and the other wrestlers as you try to get the focus off yourselves and onto me! Truth always wins over lies.

Bea snaps her fingers into the camera then presents a sinister grin.

Bea: Sam. . .one by one you and other wrestlers come at me, and try to make everyone believe your lies and ignore my truths, but you all have been failing. Little by little your fan support, and support from your fellow wrestlers, is draining away. Nobody buys into your bullshit any longer. You demanded this match against me and now you got it. You know the saying goes that you need to be careful what you ask for because you might just get it. Well, Sam, you didn’t take note of that saying so you kept demanding another match with me and now you got it! When you step into the ring with me you’re gonna get it! When I destroy you in our match don’t  cry, whine, bitch, moan, complain, and claim I did something that I never did, because if you do that crap again I’ll come after you and haunt your every remaining minute left on this planet!

THINGS ARE GONNA GET UGLY

Bea pauses her comments when Iris, her and Bill’s English Bulldog, walks into camera view.

Bea:  Iris how did you get into the room? I thought Daddy Bill had you secure in the other room. Oh well now that you’re here I might as well use you as an example concerning Samantha Marlowe. So, Sam, Samantha, Sammy, Shithead, whatever, how do you feel knowing this match is your downfall and your demise? How would you feel if people were lying about you and publicly claiming you did something you never did? You wouldn’t like it I assure you! I’m not going to continue to comment on lies and the fairy tale stories you, and others, have made up and continue to spread the lies. This match we have is not a fairy tale. This match we have is not a tea party. This match we have is not a game of Chutes and Ladders. This match we have is not a dance contest. Our match is a grudge match that YOU asked for, YOU demanded, YOU wanted, and now you’ve got it! The problem for you, Sam, is you thought your lies about me would make me get distracted and screw up. Wrong! The lies you spread about me made me upset and out to deliver revenge against you. As I’ve said before I’ll have no mercy on you, no compassion on you, and I don’t care how much you beg me to stop beating the crap out of you, I’m not backing off on you in our match! Trust me that what happens to you will five the term THINGS ARE GETTING DOG UGLY a new meaning.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea orders Iris to return to the other room and Iris does as she is told. Bea returns her focus to the camera to continue with her comments.

Bea:  You know my entrance music is HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT and I challenge you to bring all your best shots to our match. Hit me with your best stuff. Try hard to take me out. Just as lightning can strike without warning your attacks on me will be deflected and my strikes on you will be lightning fast. I’m sick of your lies. I’m sick of your obsession with me. I’m sick of those who support you. I plan on beating you down so hard that when you recover hours later and they tell you what I did to you in our match to defeat you then you’ll become a believer in Bea Barnhart. I can’t state things any clearer than I already have except to tell you that in our match my actions will speak louder than my words. Enjoy your time leading up to Summer XXXTreme X because after I beat you down and defeat you in our match there’s not going to be much enjoyment left in your life!

Bea motions into the camera with a CUT sign and the camera person cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


9
Climax Control Archives / ROXI IS ON THE ROCKS
« on: June 23, 2022, 04:12:04 PM »
ROXI IS ON THE ROCKS

Narrator:  I had a conversation with Bea concerning her upcoming match against Roxi Johnson at Climax Control 335. Bea told me she’s sick of all the jerks in Sin City Wrestling accusing her of doing something she didn’t do. Roxi Johnson happens to be one of those jerks and Bea told me she has this war to win and when it is done she will be the one person left standing.

The scene opens and we get a shot of Bea Barnhart in her hotel room which is located near the Equidome Arena in Scottsdale, Arizona. The camera pans around and we see she has obtained very nice accommodations for this event. As the camera pans around some more we get a shot of Bill Barnhart and their English Bulldog Iris then the camera returns to focus on Bea.

ROXI ON THE ROCKS

Bea:  ON THE ROCKS  What does on the rocks mean and who is on the rocks? The official definition of ON THE ROCKS is that of someone experiencing difficulties and likely to fail. Another definition of ON THE ROCKS would be a ship that went off course and became grounded when it hit rocks and now they are stranded and unable to move away from the danger. Well, by golly gee, Roxi, that’s fits you perfectly. I guess you haven’t had enough ass kickings placed on you that you now have to suffer one from me. And don’t try looking past me to look at Masque because she’s the lease of your concerns at this time. You and most of the other jerks in Sin City Wrestling continue to falsely accuse me of doing something I didn’t do. I’m sick of the bullshit and the lies and the false accusations! At Climax Control 335 I’m going to destroy you so that you won’t be in shape to meet your match commitment against Masque. When that happens you need thank me for putting you out of action so that you don’t have to experience a major loss before possibly being able to face Masque. We don’t have any history between us but there’s going to be a hell of a lot of talk going around when I pound you into obscurity.

WHAT I BRING TO OUR MATCH

Bea:  Roxi you are probably asking yourself what I plan on bringing to the ring for our match. No, you friggin’ dipshit, I’m not bringing a plastic bottle of perfume as I’ve already told the world I leave that item in my hotel room or dressing room. What I bring to our match is a hatred of over-the-hill, washed up, pathetic, lying, moronic jerks like you and the rest of the roster in Sin City Wrestling. I bring me skills to the ring and I’ll defeat you with my skills and intelligence. Unless you hire interference there’s no way you’re going to defeat me. We shall see what cowardly deeds you are willing to do to get a cheap win over me. By the term WE I mean not only myself, but also the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling and the fans. When they see what a coward you are they will turn their backs to you while they are worshipping me as their new goddess of wrestling.

WHAT? YOU THINK YOUR SHIT DON’T STINK?

Bea:  So, Roxi, are you going to do what you always do leading up to a match? Stuff like bragging as if you are the greatest wrestler ever to step into a wrestling ring? Bragging that you cannot be defeated in a wrestling match even though you have been defeated many times? Making false claims about your opponent? Hurling Elementary level insults at me? You can say whatever the hell your tiny little pea brain tells you to say but in the end your pea brain will hear the official announcement of the decision in our match as me, Bea Barnhart, is the winner over you. Now, Roxi, before you step in front of a camera and claim that your shit don’t stink let me tell you what I hear backstage. I hear that when you take a dump the other wrestlers have to don gas masks to prevent themselves from passing out from the stench. Maybe you could use a bit of perfume. Oops! I uttered the P word! Guess I’m going to Hell for uttering that word since you, and all the others on the Roster, continue to falsely accuse me of stuff I didn’t do. Well, Roxi, after our match there is one thing you can accuse me of and it will be the truth you speak. When I defeat you and you admit to the world that I defeated you then you will have finally shunned the lies and have decided to tell the truth.

CONVERSATION WITH BILL

Bea motions to Bill to come into camera view. Bill walks over to where Bea is located and Iris trails along behind him.

Bill:  This is totally unscripted Bea. You didn’t tell me you were going to ask me for comments during your air time.

Bea:  I like surprising you Bill.

Bill:  Okay. What’s on your mind?

Bea:  Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on wearing a Speedo for your Roulette Championship Qualifier match against Agostino Romano?

Bill:  Because it was a last moment decision. I just went with what came to my mind. It didn’t change the outcome of the match as I was going to win anyway.

Bea:  Okay. Now would you please tell the viewers what you have been doing when it comes to my training in the ring?

Bill:  Bea asked me to train her harder than I used to do previously. I asked her if she was truly serious about that request and she assured me that she  is serious. For several weeks we have gone to a training facility and I have been sending sparring partners against her and I’ve told them they are not to hold back. Bea managed to take them out which means she has improved a lot. But I got the idea to have her take me on in a sparring match. She agreed and I stepped into the ring and made sure she understood that I wasn’t holding back. Bea took some hard hits and falls but she kept getting up and going after me aggressively. In the end I was proud of Bea’s improvement in the ring and I know she can defeat Roxi Johnson at Climax Control 335.

Bea:  Thank you Bill. I appreciate your kind words and your comments on our training.

Bill:  Is that all you have for me? Me and Iris were about to get into a pizza eating contest and you know I want to slam dunk her and win the pizza eating contest.

Bea:  I have one more question for you before you and Iris pig out on pizza. In the match at Climax Control 335 there is a Roulette Championship match with Finn Whelan putting the Roulette Championship on the line against Alexander Raven. Management decided to spice up that match by having Miles Kasey in Finn’s corner and you in Alexander Raven’s corner. Why do you think they did that and what are your plans for being in Raven’s corner?

Bill:  I’ll admit it was a surprise to me when the Card was officially announced. I don’t know why this match got scheduled the way it did but I’ll just state something concerning the match set-up. It is a Roulette Rules Match and all four of us want possession of the Roulette Championship. So what’s going to happen in this match leading up to Summer XXXTreme X? You’ll have to watch the match on Sunday, June 26, 2022, to find out what happens. Now can I please go off and have my pizza eating contest Iris?

Bea:  Yea you can go play with Iris and have your pizza eating contest.

Bill quickly walks out of camera view to take up the pizza eating contest against Iris. The camera follows him until he enters the other room then the camera returns to focus on Bea.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  Roxi I want you to be ready for anything and everything from me as I’m coming at you and my goal is to destroy you. Take me for granted if you want to, See you in the ring Sunday.

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments and they call into the Network and the Network cuts back to regularly scheduled programming.


10
Climax Control Archives / AGOSTINO ROMANO...AGAIN?
« on: June 16, 2022, 07:26:29 PM »
AGOSTINO ROMANO AGAIN?

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is ready to destroy Agostino Romano and advance to Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for, and regain, the Roulette Championship.

We are at the home of Bill Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. He is sitting on his couch with his English Bulldog Iris. Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans and a yellow tee shirt.

HISTORY BETWEEN BILL BARNHART AND AGOSTINO ROMANO

Bill:  Hi and welcome  to my home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We came home after Climax Control 333 as we wanted to get a few things done around the house before traveling to Tucson, Arizona, for Climax Control 334. At this upcoming event I face off against Agostino Romano, the professional Jobber of Sin City Wrestling, where the winner of the match. . .ME of course. . .will advance to Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for, and regain, the Roulette Championship.

Bill pulls out a sheet of paper and discusses what is on the paper.

Bill:  Agostino we’ve had two matches together. One was at Climax Control 289 on January 10, 2021. It was a Fatal Four Way. The way to win was to slam your opponent through a table. Do you remember who got slammed through the table Agostino? I remember. It was YOU who Lincoln Daniels slammed through the table. It wasn’t me or the other opponent in the match. Now that sums up how your wrestling career has been going. The second match we’ve had against each other was at Climax Control 308 on August 15, 2021. I imagine, since you also lost that match, that you tend to try to forget the details of that match. It was in the Internet Championship Tournament and I defeated you to advance in the Tournament while you crawled back to your dressing room where you placed a lamp shade over your head and stood in the corner hoping nobody would recognize you. What the hell is your middle name Agostino? PATHETIC?

Bill bursts out in laughter then he regains his composure to continue his comments.

HOW TOUGH IS BILL BARNHART?

Bill:  I would like to relate an incident I had when I lived in California and it involved motorcycles. Here’s the story Romano. I was traveling from San Bernardino, California, to Laughlin, Nevada, so I could visit the casinos and relax. Half way to Laughlin I stopped at the town of Daggett, California, to take a break and use the restroom. There was only a small beer joint so I had no other options where to stop. The parking lot was very small and I had to squeeze my car between parked cars and a row of motorcycles that looked as if a motorcycle gang was at the bar. I tried opening my car door slowly but I still managed to bump the motorcycle nearest to me. Yes I managed to tip the motorcycle over and it went down the row of bikes like a line of dominos crashing to the ground. I didn’t  have long to wait until the motorcycle gang members came out, saw their bikes on the ground, then they confronted me. I warned them that I’m a professional wrestler and will take them all out but they thought I was bullshitting them. Before they could attack me the leader of the motorcycle game came out. He told his members if they wanted to give it a go against me they could. One by one they charged me and one by one I took them all out. Now with a line of motorcycles and a pile of his gang members on the ground the leader of the motorcycle gang approached me. He commended me on my fighting ability then he asked my name and I told him Bill Barnhart. His eyes widened and he said he is a follower of mine in the sport of wrestling but that he didn’t recognize me as I was dressed in semi-formal clothing instead of my wrestling attire. He shook my hand and invited me into the bar for a drink while telling his gang members to pick up their bikes and remain outside while we went inside for a few drinks. I asked him if he would like me to pay for the damage to their bikes and he laughed and said that isn’t necessary. The man’s name is Ray Hill and he remains my friend to this day.

Bill smiles into the camera and gives a thumbs up.

Bill:  Why did I tell you that story Agostino? Because it shows you many things about me. It shows you I can take out an entire motorcycle gang without getting a scratch. Because it shows you that when you’re honest as I am you can get things accomplished and people respect you. So, Agostino, feel free to bring your pathetic Moped riding ass to Tucson where I’ll entertain and amaze the fans at the Tucson Convention Center when I defeat you so quickly that if the fans blink they’ll miss the action.

Bill stands up from the couch and goes to a dresser near the couch and he pulls out what looks like an outfit a College Professor would wear. He puts on the outfit then stands in front of the camera and we’re wondering what he will do.

WELCOME TO THE BILL BARNHART SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

Bill:  Hi. Glad you could make it to the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks. I’m Professor Bill Barnhart and I’m going to school you big time. Agostino you’ve been assigned against me at Climax Control 334. You’re not classified as a Challenger. . .you’re classified as a Sacrifice to me. But don’t worry Romano because even though you enter the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks and you’ll be destroyed I’ll still present a Diploma of Graduation to you with complimentary knots on your head for allowing me to school you. And remember something Agostino. We’re in this match under Roulette Rules. There’s nothing the Roulette Wheel could land on that would intimidate me, scare me, or make me turn and walk away from our match. NOTHING!!!

Bill roars with laughter then he controls the laughter and returns to his comments.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  For everyone’s information when I demolish Agostino Romano and go into Summer XXXTreme X to challenge for the Roulette Championship I’m not there to play games and make the other wrestlers look good. I’m entering that match to destroy them and regain the Roulette Championship. If you felt I was tough to defeat the first time I was Roulette Champion you need to know I’ll be ten times harder to defeat this second time as Roulette Champion. See you all at Climax Control 334.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments for today and they call into the Network and the Network switches back to regularly scheduled programming.


11
Climax Control Archives / TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU BELIEVE LIES
« on: June 03, 2022, 08:15:38 AM »
TRUTH HURTS WHEN YOU BELIEVE LIES

Narrator:  The saying goes that the truth hurts when you believe the lies. Since Samantha Marlowe ran her mouth, claiming Bea Barnhart did something illegal during Senor Vinnie’s match against Fenris, she now finds herself on the opposite side of the ring from Bea Barnhart. That’s a place Sam doesn’t want to be. She will find that out on Sunday, June 5, 2022.

EARLIER IN THE DAY

We are taken to the hotel room where Bill and Bea Barnhart are staying while Bea is assigned to a match against Samantha Marlowe at Climax Control 332. There is an assigned camera person in their hotel room to broadcast what they are doing leading up to Bea’s match. We watch as Bill calls Iris, their English Bulldog, so they can go into the other room to watch Animal Planet as Iris enjoys watching animal programs. After they leave the living room area Bea remains in the living room putting items away. Bea gets a look on her face and she smiles.

Bea:  Iris! Could you please come here for a moment? I need to ask you something. There’s a doggy treat involved if you participate in the question and answer thing with me.

Iris is never one to hesitate when food is involved. Iris waddles into the living room area and when Bea tells Iris to sit Iris sits down waiting for what Mommy Bea has in store for her. . .especially the doggy treat.

Bea:  Iris I’m going to ask you one question. When you’re done answering the question I’ll give you a doggy treat.

Iris perks up when the words doggy treat are spoken.

Bea:  Iris I want your honest opinion on something. Please tell the viewers what you think about Samantha Marlowe.

Iris stands up from her sitting position then she walks across the living room area to where Bill and Bea have placed a potty pad so when she has to potty she’ll use the pad so there is an easy clean up. Iris walks over and sniffs the potty pad then she turns around once, squats, and drops a load of poop on the potty pad. Iris then walks up to Mommy Bea and receives her doggy treat then we watch as Iris returns to the other room to watch Animal Planet with Daddy Bill.

Bea:  Oh. . .My. . .Goodness! I was expecting Iris to grunt or grown or growl at the name of Samantha Marlow but what she ended up doing was giving her honest opinion of what she thinks about Sam. I would bust out in uncontrollable laughter but that wouldn’t be right eh? Oh to hell with being politically correct! The response Iris gave of her opinion of Sam Marlowe was priceless. HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!!

The scene slowly fades to black while Bea is laughing hard.

TRUTH VERSUS LIES

We are in a room which is the area assigned to Bea as her dressing room at the Walter Pyramid where Climax Control 332 is taking place. Bea is dressed in her trademark blue dress she normally wears when serving as Manager for Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie. When the camera person tells her they are live broadcasting Bea begins her comments.

Bea:  Let’s start with who’s telling the truth and who’s lying shall we? I always carry a small plastic spray bottle of perfume with me. When I place the perfume in the plastic spray bottle I put about one-fourth of what the bottle will hold, which is my perfume, and the other three-fourths of the bottle is filled with water. I already mentioned last week that I do that as I’m person who doesn’t like an overwhelming smell of perfume as that makes a woman smell like a cheap whore. Speaking of smelling like that what we have in Sin City Wrestling is that the majority of Bombshells spray so much heavy perfume on themselves that it amazes me their opponents don’t pass out from the vile smell. With that said the bottle that someone took from the ring apron, and somehow managed to spray it in the face of Fenris, couldn’t have possibly “blinded” Fenris as the perfume-to-water ratio was one part perfume and three parts water. If anything it would cause less pain that if you had a spray bottle of alcohol diluted with water and when you sprayed it on your face your eyes may water for a few seconds before clearing up. After Vinnie’s match the spray bottle was taken from me and brought to a lab where their testing proves I’m telling the truth that it was one-fourth perfume and three-fourths water. But still so many on the Roster want to condemn me and destroy me for doing nothing wrong during Vinnie’s match and having nothing vile in my spray bottle. So be it. All you who want a part of me need to bring it on as I’m ready for you.

Bea snaps her fingers into the camera.

DON’T HAVE A COW MAN!

Bea:  Many of you are familiar with the cartoon series The Simpsons. One of the characters is Bart Simpson and one of his favorite phrases when someone over-reacts to simple things that don’t need that level of reaction is DON’T HAVE A COW MAN! So to all of you on the Roster who want to over-react to what happened in the Vinnie versus Fenris match…DON’T HAVE A COW MAN!

Bea rolls her eyes at the stupidity of others.

EITHER BITCH OUT EVERYONE OR DON’T BITCH OUT ANYONE AT ALL

Bea:  I find it amusing that idiots like Samantha Marlowe went all out to bitch at me about the spray bottle incident at the Senor Vinnie versus Fenris match. First problem I have is I didn’t spray Fenris with what is in the spray bottle as I was busy talking to Jason Adams and Belinda Simone at the Announcer’s table. To be honest I don’t know who sprayed Fenris or if he got sprayed at all. But, as always, we now have half the Roster bitching me out for something I didn’t do. I also notice that all of you who are bitching me out, including my next opponent Sam Marlowe, don’t want to bitch out wrestlers who cheat all the time, interfere in matches all the time, and resort to low blows and other illegal maneuvers. So here’s one of my catchphrases you’ve heard me you before. EITHER BITCH OUT EVERYONE OR DON’T BITCH OUT ANYONE AT ALL!  You heard me! Just because you’re jealous of me you bitch me out for things that happen at a wrestling event when I’m not on the card and often I’m not even at the arena for the event since I’m not booked. You can’t be selective and pick on me because you’re jealous that I’m better than you. Either you bitch everyone out or shut the hell up!

Bea grins a huge grin into the camera.

WHAT SAMANTHA MARLOWE IS IN FOR AT CLIMAX CONTROL 332

Bea:  Now, Sam, you ran your mouth so much on social media to falsely accuse me of something I never did that I heard their servers nearly crashed due to the amount of bullshit you were tossing around. Well, Sam, you got what you wanted. You demanded a match with me and now you got it. The saying goes BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR AS YOU MIGHT JUST GET IT  Well, Sam, you were not careful what you wished for and now you have a match with me. You damn well better be ready for anything as Bill has me in extremely intensive training and I’m learning more per day than you’ve learned over your entire career.

Bea grins into the camera.

Bea:  You know my entrance music is Pat Benatar’s HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT which tells a story of others attacking her and her fending off the attacks and kicking their ass instead. I’ll admit, Sam, that you have a win over me in the one and only match we’ve had since I turned wrestler in addition to being Manager for Bill and Vinnie. It was at Climax Control 300 on May 9, 2021. You won that match over me by pinfall. What are you gonna do now Sam? I guess you’re going to take the one and only match we’ve had against each other, which was over one year ago, and brag about it. Well go ahead and brag as I don’t give a damn what happened over a year ago. If you want to have an attitude then do so. Sam I dare you to come into our match with the mindset that you’re going to give me the best shots you have and take me down. I dare you to try to take me down and take me out this time. I’ll fend off your attacks, and then yell at you HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT. . .FIRE AWAY! While I’m kicking your ass!

I’M NOT TAKING A DIVE

Bea:  You, and others on the roster, think I’m gonna play easy on you and take a dive to your attacks, both physical and verbal, but you, and everyone else, are wrong. You use the excuse that it is due to what happened to Fenris in his match against Senor Vinnie. I didn’t do anything in that match to cause what happened. I didn’t spray Fenris with anything. And from what I saw I didn’t see Vinnie do it either. I’m not sure what happened and the replay of the match also appears to be confusing and controversial. I know you, and others on the roster, wanting to challenge me by using the excuse of that wrestling match is nothing more than you all trying to use an excuse, any excuse, to come after me and attack me. The vicious attacks you all are trying to put on me isn’t about a previous wrestling match. It is, however, all about you all being mean girls who are jealous of me. I had that through High School and College. Every time those mean girls came after me I left them lying on the ground broken and bleeding. So, Samantha, bring your smart ass mean girl game to our match. Hit me with your best shots. Just don’t come whining to me when my hand is raised in victory.

Bea gives the cut sign to the camera person and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


12
Climax Control Archives / MAX BURKE FALSELY ACCUSING ME IS WRONG
« on: May 26, 2022, 07:52:14 PM »
MAX BURKE FALSELY BLAMING ME WAS WRONG

Narrator:  I assure you I’ve seen Bill Barnhart upset at opponents before but this time, with Max Burke falsely blaming him for not winning the Roulette Championship at Into The Void XI, has made Bill so upset he has total destruction on his mind in his upcoming match against Max Burke.

The scene shifts to the home of Bill and Bea and Iris the Bulldog in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The three are sitting in their living room and when the camera person informs them they are live broadcasting they launch into their comments for Climax Control 331.

BEA DEBUNKS THE LIES

Bea:  Everyone knows that in addition to being an active wrestler in Sin City Wrestling I also serve as the Manager for Bill Barnhart and Senor Vinnie. Before Bill launched into his comments for his match against Max Burke at Climax Control 331 I wish to address the lies being told about me. Specifically I’m going to talk about the non-incident and character defamation perpetrated against me at Into The Void XI. I’ll relate to you what they claim happened and then I’ll tell you what really happened. What they claim happened is that I took out my small plastic spray bottle of perfume and handed it to Senor Vinnie during the match. Then they say Vinnie grabbed the spray bottle and sprayed Fenris in the eyes temporarily blinding him allowing Vinnie to get the win over Fenris in the match. They further claim that the spray bottle was filled with Tequila Sunrise which caused temporary blindness to Fenris. That’s the bullshit version of what people claim happened and now I’ll tell you what really happened.

Bill:  Get ready for the truth.

Bea:  What I do when I put perfume in my spray bottle is to put just a little bit of perfume then dilute it with water. I do that because most perfumes are disgustingly smelly and I don’t want to spray myself with undiluted perfume and end up smelling like a cheap whore like most of the Bombshell wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling do. So usually put about one-third perfume and two-thirds water. That’s what was in the perfume bottle everyone is talking about from Into the Void XI. Now let me answer the question on how my spray bottle of perfume ended up on the ring apron. I was walking around in Vinnie’s corner observing the match when I heard disgusting and insulting comments coming from the direction where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone give commentary on matches. I heard insulting comments about me so when I strutted toward their table I placed the spray bottle on the ring apron outside of the ropes so it wasn’t inside the ring. No sooner did I arrive at the announcing table to go off on Belinda and Jason I hear a commotion in the ring and I see Fenris floundering and Vinnie getting the win with a pinfall. I glared at Belinda and Jason then went back to Vinnie’s corner at ringside. Next thing I hear is that someone is accusing me of having placed Tequila Sunrise in the spray bottle. If anyone wants the forensic test results I had done after Into The Void XI, that proves there was nothing in the spray bottle from a small amount of perfume and water, contact me and I’ll have you talk with the Lab Tech who did the examination.

Bill:  I know how you feel Bea. I’m always accused of doing something I never did. I’ll talk about false accusations when I get into my comments about Max Burke when you’re done with your comments on the incident from Into The Void XI.

Bea:  So here’s the deal. I’ll be in Bill’s corner for his match against Max Burke at Climax Control 321. As always I’ll do my professional job as Bill’s Manager and as always I don’t get involved in his, or Vinnie’s, matches. If anyone tries to lay more false accusations against me then will be harshly dealt with. That’s it Bill. The camera is yours.

BILL ADDRESSES FALSE ACCUCATIONS MADE BY MAX BURKE

Bill:  Speaking of false accusations let me jump into what Max Burke said which led to our match at Climax Control 331. Since everyone has this mental attitude that they feel they must bash me, falsely accuse me, and threaten me, claiming that I said something, or did something, that I never said and never did, instead of me giving my own comments concerning what Max Burke said I have a copy of the official Climax Control 331 Card and I’m going to read from it the information provided by Management concerning the match. That way if anyone has a comment on what was said they can talk to the correct people instead of accusing me of saying something that wasn’t said.

Bill holds up the official Climax Control 331 card and he begins reading the match information and description for his match with Max Burke.

Bill:  Here ya go! Deal with the following which is the official information provided for my match with Max Burke at Climax Control 331. . .

Max Burke still bears a grudge against the veteran "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart for not only getting himself involved in the one-on-one Roulette title shot that he had earned, but now for taking the loss in the actual championship event in Athens! Max believes that the title would have been his had the match remained a singles match as intended, and now he has demanded a singles match - but this time against none other than "Bulldog" Bill Barnhart himself! This match will surely be a 5 star classic battle between two ring veterans, and whichever emerges victorious, will surely be back on track towards that prestigious Roulette title currently held by Finn Whelan! But Max also has his eyes set on a certain someone else for blinding his close friend Fenris at Into the Void XI! Can Burke focus on the task at hand or will vengeance for a friend cloud his better judgment?

After reading the official information from the Climax Control 331 card for his match against Max Burke we see Bill lay the paper down next to him and then he looks into the camera.

Bill:  There ya go people! Max Burke, who failed to perform well in our Triple Threat match at Into The Void XI, is claiming that it is my fault that he wasn’t able to compete well and win the Roulette Championship. Max claims that I got myself involved in that match. What? My match with Finn Whelan was declared a DRAW by the Referee when you cannot have a DRAW in a Roulette match. Christian Underwood got upset at the Referee and declared that both Finn and Bill go to Into The Void XI and the match then became a Triple Threat. Just as Bea explained how she was falsely accused of stuff at Into The Void XI so you now see that Max Burke, who cannot accept that he couldn’t compete well enough to win the Roulette Championship so he blames me for his incompetence. Nice try Max. I hate being falsely accused of stuff. You stepped over the line and when I defeat you at Climax Control 331 I’ll make sure to step over you when the Referee raises my hand in victory. Falsely accuse me huh? There will be no false win by me in our match. I will soundly defeat you!

BILL GONNA RAP SOME SENSE TO YOU

Bea:  Bill are you ready for your performance?

Bill:  Yes I am. I’ll step out to the other room for a few minutes and then return to give you a performance.

Bill excuses himself to go into the other room to change his clothing. When he returns in front of the camera. We see Bill is dressed in what would be classified as Rapper attire consisting of gold chains around his neck, many fancy rings on his fingers, a medium size clock hanging around his neck like Flava Flav used to do, and he faces the camera and comments.

Bill:  Yo! I be Bill DA BULLDOG Barnhart. I’m gonna rap some lyrics for ya. My song is titled IT’S A MESSED UP, SCREWED UP, F****D UP WORLD. Enjoy.

Bill’s Rap music hits and the beat shakes the speakers and Bill is moving around holding a mic up to his mouth. We listen intently to his lyrics.

Lady Gaga is a guy. . .Justin Bieber is a girl. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d  up world.

Pete the Cactus is a hunk. . .he’s more studly than we thunk…it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Iris twerks like Miley. . .then she grins like a smiley. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Most opponents think they’re pearl. . .but what they do is make me hurl. . . it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Max Burke lied about me. . .So I’ll beat him down ‘till he pee. . . it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.

Max you were warned. . .now you gonna be scorned. . .it’s a messed up, screwed up, f****d up world.


Bill’s Rap music ends and he takes a bow then he removes his Rapper attire and returns to the Bill Barnhart we know and love.

Bea:  Well done Bill. I have to let the viewers know I had no idea Bill was gonna do a rap for you.

FALSELY ACCUSING ME HAS A PAYBACK

Bill:  I’m full of surprises Bea. Max you are one pathetic piece of shit. You are a lying sack of shit. Your performance in the wrestling ring is pathetic and you proved that to the world at Into The Void XI. You can try to blame me for your loss but that’s not gonna work on ninety percent of the viewers. Only the the percent of the viewers who are more mentally deficient than you are will believe your lies. Max when the Roulette Championship match and Into the Void XI was announced you were at a disadvantage against me. When the Climax Control 331 card was announced I again have the huge advantage over you. When you decided to spew forth accusations that I forced myself into our match at Into The Void XI you crossed the line from being at a disadvantage to being downright disgustingly pathetic and stupid. I could go on and on and on giving adjectives to describe you to everyone. You will feel somewhat safe when we are both inside the ring but once you hear the bell from the Timekeeper your breathing will turn to gasps, your knees will buckle, and you’ll drop to your knees and beg for mercy from me. Sorry, Max, you get no mercy from me. . .only pain and suffering. And this time don’t try blaming me again for our upcoming match because your whining and complaining and accusing has got you into this match but I’ll beat you down so hard that you’ll be carried out of the ring to the backstage area.

Bill informs the camera person he is done with his comments. The camera person calls into the Network and they ask them to cut their camera feed and when he does our screen goes dark.


13
* SENOR VINNIE AND PETE THE CACTUS USED BY PERMISSION OF GERRIT *

THE ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP RETURNS TO ME AT INTO THE VOID XI

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is ready to take back his Roulette Championship. I won’t ruin his presentation by telling you what he told me so I’ll back off and let Bill have the camera.

The scene shifts to the arena in the Ano Liosia Olympic Sports Hall in Athens, Greece. We see Bill and Bea Barnhart sitting near the wrestling ring where the matches will be held for Into the Void XI. They are sitting at the announcer table where Jason Adams and Belinda Simone present their match comments. Bill is dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and white sneakers. Bea is similarly dressed in blue jeans but she is wearing a short-sleeve light blue button shirt and she is wearing black sneakers.

CHEATING NEVER PAYS AND CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER

Bill:  Well, Finn, you tried to get someone to interfere in our match to get a cheap win but it backfired on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ll try to make the claim that Kayla Richards came to the ring to attack you and not me. Nice try but only a moron would believe that line of bullshit! If her intention wasn’t to interfere in the match to help you get a cheap win then why did she take a shot at me and Bea? Yeah, punk, try to explain that away! That’s what I thought. Friggin’ lying dip shit dumb ass! Also our previous match was mine but due to an unfortunate little thing both of us fell off the ropes and went through the table at the same time. Apparently our Referee wasn’t fully trained on how Roulette Rules matches end which is with a win and never a draw. So with the Referee calling the match a NO DECISION Christian Underwood ran to the ring and totally slam dunked the Referee on their decision on the match and then he fixed it so that you couldn’t get away with a cheap win. The result of that match caused Christian Underwood to assign me as the third wrestler in the Roulette Championship match at Into the Void XI. Having me assigned to this match is the death blow to your reign as Roulette Champion.

Bea:  Finn your least concern in this match is Max Burke. Yes he talks shit and hurls threats but he’s as harmless as a fly buzzing around a pond full of Frogs. Just as a fly buzzing around a pond full of Frogs gets snagged and eaten by the Frogs so Max Burke will find out, immediately upon the sound of the bell to start the match, that Bill is winning the match regardless of what you and he think.

Bill:  Thanks for the supportive comments Bea. And, Bea, please make sure if that ignorant asshole Kayla Richards shows up at ringside to try to rig the match again that you, and whoever else is available, takes her out to where she won’t came back for a very long time.

Bea:  Will do Bill.

Bill:  As for you, Max, you probably thought you would have an easy match against Finn Whelan when you thought it was just going to be you two involved in the match. Well I damn sure surprised the hell out of you eh? Now you’re not facing one pathetic Finn Whelan, you’re facing one pathetic Finn Whelan and one awesome, amazing, talented, and determined, Bill Barnhart. Just when you thought you were going to stand behind the fan and let the shit hit the fan along comes Bill Barnhart. Suddenly you find yourself in front of the shit throwing fan instead of behind it and it is me, Bill Barnhart, who is behind the fan throwing the shit into the fan to splatter on you. Talk all the crap you want but that’s not going to get you a win in our match!

CHECKING ON IRIS AND PETE THE CACTUS AT THE SPA

Bea:  We’ll take a short break from comments on Bill’s match as we need to check in on Iris and Pete the Cactus. Senor Vinnie told me he was taking them to the Spa so they could relax and chill for a time. They have surveillance cameras so we can log into them on our cell phone to check on them. Just give us a few minutes and then we’ll return to comments on Bill’s match at Into the Void XI.

Bea allows the camera person to be included when she logs into the surveillance camera at the Spa. We see Pete the Cactus and Iris sitting in a hot tub sipping drinks. Bill immediately notices two disturbing things.

Bill:  What the F**K??? Bea! Iris has taken off her pink diamond-studded dog collar. That means she’s nude in the hot tub with Pete the Cactus! She never removes her dog collar except when we give her a bath! I’m going to call Senor Vinnie and. . .

Bill and Bea are shocked when they see Pete the Cactus stand up in the hot tub and they notice Pete doesn’t have any shorts or swim trunks on which means Pete is also nude. Bill dials Senor Vinnie’s number on his cell phone.

Senor Vinnie:  Senor Bill. . .how are you doing?

Bill:  How am I doing? How the hell do you think I’m doing? I’m watching surveillance video of Pete the Cactus and Iris in a hot tub at the Spa you brought them to. Pete doesn’t have any clothing on and Iris took off her pink diamond-studded dog collar which means she’s nude also! Get over there immediately and get those two out of the spa and properly dressed. Me and Bea can’t go as we’re in the middle of airing comments for my my Roulette Championship match at Into the Void XI.

Senor Vinnie:  Oh, Bill, you are so determined. I will take care of Pete and Iris within a few minutes as I’m next door to the Spa. Just watch on the surveillance camera.

After a few minutes. . .

>Bill and Bea watch the surveillance camera and they see Senor Vinnie enter the Spa and approach the hot tub where Pete the Cactus and Iris are located. Senor Vinnie drags Pete out of the hot tub and places a pair of swim trunks on him. He then drags Iris out of the hot tub and returns her pink diamond-studded dog collar to her neck. Senor Vinnie then starts to escort Pete and Iris out of the Spa but he stops to look into the surveillance camera and he gives a thumbs up to Bill and Bea who are watching him then he continues on and leave the Spa with Pete and Iris.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Glad we got that situation resolved with Pete and Iris. Next on my agenda is to get the situation resolved in my match against Finn Whelan and Max Burke. Just as Pete got caught with his pants down, and Iris got caught removing her pink diamond-studded dog collar which is her one clothing item, so Finn and Max, you two will get caught with your guard down and your weak slow-working brains won’t be able to comprehend the beating I’m laying on you until the match is over and I’ve won the match.  It will be too late for you two once the bell has rung to end our match, Justin Decent announces me as the winner of the match and the Roulette Champion, and my hand is raised in victory over my win.

Bea:  What I want is a clean match, fully within the rules, with no interference, no cheating, no objects that are not allowed in this match.

Bill:  Me too Bea. Here’s the bottom line guys. I’m the Alpha Male in this wrestling match and you two are subordinates to me. I’m the boss and you’re the pathetic underlings. I’m the ass kicker and your asses are the ones getting kicked. I don’t give a damn about you two. Here’s a perfect graphic of how I feel about you.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea:  Nice graphic Bill. I love Bender.

Bill:  In closing I wish to present a graphic of a Muppet character everyone is familiar with. His name is Beaker and he is Professor Honeydew’s lab assistant. The Professor always has Beaker get involved in experiments and other not-yet-tested inventions of Professor Honeydew. Beaker always got injured in Professor Honeydew’s experiments and Beaker ran around in pain yelling MEEP MEEP MEEP! With that said here’s a graphic of what you two will be screaming in terror when I beat both of you into retirement.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea:  Beaker is hilarious.

Bill:  To close my comments for today I’ll leave you with these comments. You two standing on stage spewing forth lame jokes and insults reminds me of what happened with Chris Rock during his presentation at the 2022 Oscars. Will Smith, being the wimp that he is, took advice from his wife and he stormed on stage and slapped Chris Rock. With you two standing on stage, running your mouth spewing forth lies and bullshit, I feel like running up on stage and slapping some sense into you two like Will Smith did to Chris Rock. Have a nice time leading up to our match at Into The Void XI because you’ll not enjoy your lives after I destroy you in our match.

Bill informs the camera person he’s done with his comments for today and they call into the Network who switches from this camera feed back to regular programming which is airing at this time.


14
* SENOR VINNIE AND PETE THE CACTUS USED BY PERMISSION OF GERRIT *

A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH IS TWICE THE FUN

Narrator:Bill Barnhart has fun using a famous advertising slogan when he is involved in a Triple Threat match. The slogan was for Doublemint Gum and the slogan went DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE. . .DOUBLE YOUR FUN…WITH DOUBLE GOOD, DOUBLE GOOD, DOUBLEMINT GUM. Bill told me he’s ready to have double the fun defeating Finn Whelan and Max Burke to again become Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion.

IRIS AND PETE THE CACTUS

The scene opens at the hotel room of Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, located near the Ano Liosia Olympic Sports Call in Athens, Greece. Bill hears music coming from the bedroom where Iris has been relaxing. He thinks maybe Iris is having a video chat with Pete the Cactus so he asks Bea to come with him to check on what Iris is doing. When the two walk into the room they see Iris with her butt toward her laptop computer and she’s twerking to the song SHAKE YOUR BOOTY by KC and The Sunshine Band. On the computer screen we see Pete the Cactus with a huge smile on his face, with a Margarita in one hand, and a cigar in his other hand, and he is enjoying watching Iris twerk.

Bea:  Iris? What in the hell is going on here? Are you two sexting each other using video calling? Iris you stop twerking! Pete you need to end this video call now! I’m going to have a talk with Senor Vinnie about how you are corrupting Iris!

Pete the Cactus:  !!! *** ### (Interpretation:  We’re just having a bit of innocent fun. You need to chill out! Vinnie won’t do anything to me!)

Bill:  Pete you don’t talk to Bea in that manner. I’m also going to talk with Vinnie about your behavior today.  However in all fairness to both of you I do feel that you and Iris share equal blame in this incident. Iris you could have said no but you didn’t. That’s all for today Iris. End the video call, shut down your computer, and you stay in the bedroom until we come and unlock the door and let you out.

Iris:  Moan. . .Whine. . .Snort  (Interpretation:  Daddy Bill and Mommy Iris always take my fun away from me.)

Iris turns off her laptop and she jumps up on the bed and curls up next to the pillow. Iris sighs heavily as Daddy Bill and Mommy Bea close the bedroom door so she cannot get out.

Bea:  I hate to be hard on Iris but I don’t think she has the reasoning abilities that Pete has so I have to hold Pete more responsible for what happened. I feel Pete takes advantage of Iris.

Bill:  I’ll talk to Senor Vinnie when I get a chance. I want to finish airing my comments for the Roulette Championship match.

A TRIPLE THREAT MATCH IS DOUBLE THE FUN

Bill begins his comments on his Roulette Championship match at Into the Void XI.

Bill:  Thanks for joining me today. As you know I had my rematch for the Roulette Championship at Climax Control 330 against Finn Whelan. Well, Finn, what happened in that match? I know you’re gonna try to bullshit everyone into believing you’re the victim and not the perpetrator but I know differently. What happened is that you arranged to have Kayla Richards run in on our match and interfere to cause me a loss but you tried to make it look like you were not involved in the scam. Well it didn’t work because I didn’t buy into your scheme.

Bea:  After Kayla Richards pulled that crap during your match and she attacked me I hope there’s a match between me and her soon so I can enact revenge on her.

Bill:  So, Finn, we continued to fight it out and both of us fell through the table at the same time and the Referee declared the match a No Decision. Christian Underwood stepped in and declared that decision a travesty and he decided to include me in the Roulette Championship match at Into the Void XI.

Bill gives a thumbs up into the camera.

Bill:  Let me tell you how it is Finn. You thought you were going to come into this Roulette Championship defense match and only get defeated by Max Burke. The decision by Management to ensure I wasn’t cheated at Climax Control 330 have now made this match at Into the Void XI a Triple Threat. I always find Triple Threat matches to be double the fun as I get to destroy two opponents instead of one. I use the slogan from Doublemint Gum which is DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE. . .DOUBLE YOUR FUN. . .WITH DOUBLE GOOD. . .DOUBLE GOOD. . .DOUBLEMINT GUM. For the benefit of you and Max I’m informing you that I’m pumped up and excited about this match as I’m going to have double the fun beating down, destroying, and humiliate you as I defeat both you and walk away as the Roulette Champion. You two are not going to change the outcome of our match as I’ve already decided I’m winning. I’ve modified the Doublemint Gum jingle to fit me and our upcoming match. It goes like this. . .DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE. . .DOUBLE YOUR FUN. . .WITH DOUBLE BILL. . .DOUBLE BILL…BECAUSE HE’S THE ONE!

Bea:  Tell Finn and Max what we talked about before coming on camera.

I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

Bill:  I’ll start with comments to you Finn. You only defeated me for the Roulette Championship due to us having a twelve part match that ended in a 6-6 tie. Then they added one additional item and you happened to trip over your own feet and get a cheap win over me. In my way of seeing things a cheap accidental win is a travesty in the sport of wrestling and I’m here to fix that travesty. You were unable to defeat me a second time as the Referee made a decision of a draw in the match. A draw doesn’t equate into a win Finn. It means you couldn’t get the job done against me. You failed to get an honest and legal win over me twice but that crap ends at Into the Void XI as I’ll not allow that to happen again. I’ll get the legal win and walk away as Roulette Champion.

Bill does a fist pump toward the camera.

Bill:  Now I come to you Max. From what I’ve heard it appears you won a match that qualified you to face the Roulette Champion at Into the Void XI. I haven’t been paying attention to your career, or your performance in Sin City Wrestling, as I don’t see you as a viable opponent. Let me put it as straight up and honest as I can. I don’t know much about you and I don’t care to know anything about you. I don’t care who the hell you are or who you think you are. I don’t care where you come from or if you really come from that place or you’re just spreading lies. I don’t care what your moves, maneuvers, holds, and other items are that you use during wrestling matches. It doesn’t matter what you call them or what they consists of as I can counter everything and I don’t care about you! I also don’t give a shit who you who you think you are, who you know, or what you eat for breakfast. All I care about is whupping your sorry ass, and that of Finn Whelan, and walking away as Roulette Champion. Want to try to change my mind? Then give it your best shot. I assure you that your best shot will fail.

Bill provides a huge grin into the camera.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Finn if you hire Kayla Richards to interfere in our match again I’ll not only mess you up I’ll ensure Kayla gets messed up by Bea. As for you Max? I’m tired of wasting my breath talking to you and about you. I’ll do the rest of my talking in the ring with my wrestling abilities at Into the Void XI.

Bea:  Oh, Bill, I assure you if I get a match against Kayla I’ll destroy her and thrill the crowd in doing so.

Bill:  Fin. . .Max. . .I heard they installed a sign at the arena where Into the Void XI is being held. The sign is posted just before you get to the wrestling ring. With this sign posted you two won’t be allowed past the sign to get into the ring. Har har har!!!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea:  Nice one Bill.

Bill:  The bullshit you two have been spewing forth leading up to our match is just that. . .BULLSHIT!!! And to prove it I used a Bullshit Meter to determine how much of what you two have been saying is honest, or semi-honest, or bullshit and here is what the Bullshit Meter detected concerning your comments.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bea:  You always keep me amused with your comments Bill.

Bill:  Trust me Bea I’ll keep Finn and Max “AMUSED” while I’m beating the crap out of them!

Bea tells the camera person they are done with their comments for today and the camera  person calls into the Network and the Network cuts their feed and our screen does dark.


15
Climax Control Archives / I'M TAKING BACK MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP
« on: April 27, 2022, 08:05:59 AM »
I’M TAKING BACK MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP

Narrator:  Bill currently holds the honor of being the third longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. Bill told me he is determined to earn back the Roulette Championship and this time earn the honor of the longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling.

TAKING BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE

When the scene switches we see Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, walking around in Lesbos, Greece. The camera person assigned to them travels with them wherever they go and they keep them in focus with their camera. Today we see Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black sneakers. Bea is also casually dressed but she is wearing black jeans, a white pullover shirt, and white sneakers. Iris? You know. . .the usual attire. . .a pink diamond studded dog collar.

Bill:  I wish to thank the camera person for accepting this assignment to air my comments for my upcoming rematch for the Roulette Championship against Finn Whelan.

Bea:  It’s nice to see how popular Bill is no matter where in the world we travel for wrestling events.

Bill, Bea, and Iris continue walking down the street stopping occasionally to look into shop windows to see if there are items they may wish to purchase as souvenirs. Not finding anything yet they continue their walk around the town and continue with their comments.

Bill:  Finn. . .it is extremely appropriate that Climax Control 330 is called the GOING HOME show, which leads us to INTO THE VOID XI, because I’m going to soundly defeat you and send you home as the loser and former Roulette Champion then I’ll be the one to defend the Roulette Championship against Max Burke at INTO THE VOID XI.

Bea:  As always I’ll be in Bill’s corner as his Manager to ensure this match is fair and free of interference and cheating.

Bill:  Finn I know that you know the facts but I’m still going to present them for clarification. I’m the third longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. Just because you got a lucky break in our last match doesn’t equate into you defeating me and retaining the Roulette Championship at Climax Control 330. You can get a Voodoo woman to put a curse on me but that won’t get you the win. You can hire all the interference you want but that won’t get you the win. Even if all the planets, solar systems, stars, and galaxies in the Universe were to be perfectly aligned it wouldn’t be enough to get you successful Roulette Championship defense over me at Climax Control 330. If that’s not clear enough for you to fully understand then you are a moron.

Bill, Bea, and Iris turn the corner and stop in front of another shop. Bill notices something inside the shop so he goes in to check on the item with the cameraman following him. When Bill gets to the item he realizes it is a Bill Barnhart action figure with the Roulette Championship belt around his waist. Bill asks the clerk the price and even though it is very expensive Bill gladly pays for the item. Bill returns to Bea and Iris who are waiting on the sidewalk and he shows them his find.

Bill:  Look at what I found! Here in Greece I’m a fan favorite. This is going to be a great addition to our home.

Bea:  Yeah it will!

Bill, Bea, and Iris continue walking around and they come to a small park with a pond where ducks are swimming around. Bill and Bea take a seat on a bench to continue with their comments while Iris sniffs around and occasionally chases a duck.

Bill:  So, Finn, many wrestlers like you believe that just because you step into a wrestling ring that automatically makes you a wrestler. It doesn’t just happen as most people think. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to be at the top in the sport of wrestling. In our previous match we had one of the most interesting and brutal Roulette Rules matches in the history of the sport of wrestling and you happened to get lucky and got the tie-breaker pinfall for the win. That doesn’t mean you dominated me as the match was going my way until you got a lucky break. Stuff like that happens but your luck has run out and I’ll win our upcoming match and again become Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion.

Bea:  Finn there’s a saying that goes sitting in a Church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car. The same concept applies to the sport of wrestling. Stepping into a wrestling ring doesn’t make you a wrestler any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.

WHO YOU GONNA BELIEVE?

Bill:  So, Finn, who are you going to believe? Are you going to believe that you’re actually a better wrestler than me or are you going to believe the truth which is I’m a way better wrestler than you will ever be?

Bea:  Bill you need to run down the list of previous opponents who thought they were better than you because they were bigger than you. And for you, Finn, you need to realize if Bill was able to take out numerous opponents larger than he was then you’re not going to be able to get by Bill again in this match.

Bill:  Let me run down the list of four larger opponents I’ve taken out so you know that with us being the same height and close to the same weight me taking you out will be easy. I didn’t use the names of the wrestlers but I used symbols to describe them.

ONE:  I took on King Kong and beat him down to size then sold him to an Organ Grinder to use as his Organ Grinder monkey.

TWO:  I took on Godzilla and beat him down to size then he ended up getting a job promoting the Geico insurance company.

THREE:  I took on a raging bull and beat him down into a dinner of steaks and ribs.

FOUR:  I took on a Kraken and beat him down to size and had Calamari for dinner.

Bill:  So, Finn, if I was able to accomplish all of that dealing with opponents who were much larger and heavier than me, and much larger and heavier than you could ever hope to be, what the hell gives you the idea you can defeat me in our upcoming match?

Bea:  Wishful thinking and hoping for a miracle doesn’t win matches Finn.

Bill and Bea burst out laughing while Iris looks at both of them and rolls her eyes. Iris then continues sniffing around and occasionally giving a side glance to one of the ducks.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Bill:  Finn I doubt if you remember a television show from the late 1970’s, as you have the attention span of about five seconds, but rest assured I’ll keep you informed concerning this television show. The show as a comedy named DIFF’RENT STROKES where Gary Coleman played a character named Arnold and Todd Bridged played his brother Willis. The catchphrase on the show was when Willis said something that Arnold thought was outrageous, or that he was not able to be understand, he blurted out the catchphrase which was WHAT CHOO’ TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WILLIS???  Well, Finn, you’re talking so much shit that is outrageous concerning our match that I’m responding with WHAT CHOO’ TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WHELAN??? Har har har!!!

Bea:  The problem you have, Finn, is that you equate one lucky win in a Roulette Championship match where there were twelve parts to the match. You happened to win the tie-breaker fall in the match but that doesn’t mean you dominated Bill in the match. Yes the match went back and forth but anyone you ask about that match will tell you Bill should have won but sometimes fate raises their head and causes something to happen.

Bill:  Speaking of fate raising their head fate will again raise their head but this time in my favor. That means I will walk into the Supercard INTO THE VOID XI as the defending Roulette Champion.

Bea:  Please relate to the viewer the comparison you have concerning how Finn won the tie-breaker item in your Roulette Championship match.

Bill:  Finn our match was a twelve part match that we came out even with it. They added a final stipulation and you managed to get the win in that final stipulation. It was an accident on your part Finn. You literally got a win for being a joke of a wrestler. Your win can be compared with this example. It was like two people shooting at ducks with shotguns in a competition with a total of twelve ducks to shoot at and they end up with six ducks each. So they toss in one final duck and whoever shoots down that duck is the winner. Say one of the people in the tie-breaker accidentally drops his gun and it fires and accidentally hits the duck and kills it? Does that mean they were the better shooter in the competition? Not only NO but HELL NO!!! That’s exactly how you won the Roulette Championship match against me Finn. You failed to take me out the entire match then you tripped over your own feet and got a cheap win. I’m coming at you at Climax Control 300 to fix that cheap accidentally win you got.

Bea:  That’s telling him how it is Bill.

Bill:  Finn you need to know why the two of us are in the Main Event match for Climax Control 330. It’s not because you’re in the match. It’s not because you’re currently the Roulette Champion. The reason we are in the Main Event  is that I’m in the match and I’m a hell of a larger draw that you’ll ever be. I also wish to inform you of the duty you’ll be performing after I defeat you and once again I become the Roulette Champion. The janitorial crew will clean up the arena with you after I destroy you in our match. That’s all you’ll be worth when I get done destroying you. They’ll use you as a broom. They’ll use you as a cleaning rag. They’ll use you as a buffer for the floors. Oh, man, that’s gonna be some hilarious stuff. Well. . .hilarious for everyone but you Finn. Har har har!!!

Bea informs the camera person they will be leaving the park and head back in the direction of their hotel and that Bill will give them comments along the way. As they get back into the main street area Bill and Bea continue presenting comments for the enjoyment of the viewers.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  We had a nice day today Bill. You laid down the facts and truth to Finn and we both got to watch Iris try to intimidate ducks.

Bill>  Iris does have something in common with ducks. Both Iris and the ducks waddle when they walk.

Iris looks up at Daddy Bill and snorts at him for making a joke about her.

Bill:  I want everyone watching to know that just because I’m in the Main Event doesn’t mean I’m going to drag the match out just to make it a long match. Maybe some of the fans, and some of the other wrestlers, will call me out when I win quickly and make the match a short one, but my objective here is to win the match, and the Roulette Championship, as quickly as possible. There’s never a need to play games and drag a match out just to have a longer match.

Bea:  Whether it is a very short match or a long one the end result is still the same that you exit the match as the Roulette Champion.

Bill, Bea, and Iris arrive at their hotel. They thank the camera person for their dedication to their work assignment and Bea hands them a huge monetary tip. The camera person thanks them for their kindness then they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


16
Climax Control Archives / THIS MATCH IS A GIFT TO ME
« on: April 20, 2022, 12:06:25 PM »
THIS MATCH IS A GIFT TO ME

Narrator:  Bea has a match at Climax Control 329 against Andrea Hernandez at Climax Control 329. This assignment to this match came when Keira Fisher was unable to make her assignment to this match against Andrea Hernandez so Management asked Bea to take the spot. In my conversation with her before coming on camera to give you my lead-in comments Bea’s upcoming match Bea told me she never takes an opportunity lightly and she takes full advantage of gifts like this assignment.

IRIS GETS GROOMED TO SHOW OFF FOR PETE THE CACTUS

The scene opens at HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS pet grooming salon in Rhodes, Greece. We see Bea walking into the salon with Iris her English Bulldog. While waiting to be served Bea has a talk with Iris.

Bea:  Iris I brought you here to the pet grooming salon as I’m having you cleaned up so you look good and smell good so when Pete the Cactus sees you he’ll go ever more crazy over you than he normally does.

Iris:  Arf! Woof! Growl! Grumble! (Translation:  I don’t want a bath! Pete loves me the way I am so why do I have to take a bath and get groomed and have perfume sprayed onto me?)

Bea:  I knew you would be excited about this grooming trip! Here’s your groomer now. Have fun Iris and I’ll be back in a few hours.

Iris:  Growl! Grumble! Snarl! (Translation:  I’ll show you what fun is when you take me home after this grooming appointment! Just wait!)

Bea leaves the HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS pet grooming and she heads off to the Diagoras Stadium where she is scheduled to present her comments for Climax Control 329.

BEA AT DIAGORAS STADIUM

Bea has arrived at the Diagoras Stadium and she is met by a camera crew waiting for her in front of the wrestling ring where the matches for Climax Control 329 will take place. The camera crew informs Bea they are going live broadcasting in thirty seconds and Bea stands ready to present her comments. When they give Bea the signal they are broadcasting she launches into her comments.

P’S AND F’S

Bea:  As most of you know, unless you.re a moron like my upcoming opponent  Andrea Hernandez, I’m from the Philippines. Unlike most Filipinos I’m well educated and talented so I don’t come across as a fool as many of those from the Philippines do. For your viewing enjoyment I’ll present to you a comedy routine that was performed by the comedian Buddy Hackett. Being from the Philippines I appreciate how this particular comedy routine is done. Also when you take into consideration that Buddy Hackett often performed this on live television had he slipped up just once the censors and the Federal Communications Commission would have brought lawsuits against those involved. I’ll have the Network present a short video of Buddy Hackett performing his comedy skit he calls LEO THE FILIPINO.

The network brings up the video of Buddy Hackett performing his LEO THE FILIPINO skit.

Leo the Filipino:  Buddy I’m pucking fissed off!

Buddy Hackett:  Why are you so upset Leo? I’ve never seen you this upset before.

Leo the Filipino:  I’m upset because the foliceman gave me a pucking farking ticket!

Buddy Hackett:  Everyone gets a parking ticket now and then so there’s really no need to be so upset. What happened to cause you to get the parking ticket?

Leo the Filipino:  I farked my car in front of that sign over there and when the Foliceman saw my car parked there he gave me a Farking ticket stating I illegally parked in a no-farking zone. Now I’m upset so I start arguing with the Foliceman. I asked him WHY DID YOU GIVE ME A PUCKING FARKING TICKET? I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A NO FARKING ZONE! MY GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME TO FARK AND CAR THERE AND I DID WHAT SHE SAID. Then when the Foliceman told me I have to pay the $50 fine for illegally Farking my car in I got so upset I went off on the Foliceman. I demanded to know WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THE PUCKING FARKING TICKET WHEN I DIDN’T KNOW I WAS FARKING THE CAR IN AN ILLEGAL FLACE? CAN’T YOU HAVE COMPASSION AND TAKE BACK YOUR PUCKING FARKING TICKET?

Buddy Hackett:  What happened after you said that to the policeman?

Leo the Filipino:  He wrote me another ticket for arguing and insulting him and the second ticket cost me an additional $100.

Buddy Hackett:  Well you learned a valuable lesson that day Leo. Don’t argue with the police.

Leo the Filipino:  Puck that pucking bullshit!

The short video from Buddy Hackett ends and we return to a shot of Bea in front of the wrestling ring.

BEA’S HISTORY AGAINST ANDREA HERNANDEZ

Bea:  As I stated I don’t transpose P’s and F’s like Leo the Filipino did, as I’m highly educated and intelligent. However it is a funny comedy routine and one slip-up would be a disaster. I was assigned to face Andrea Hernandez at Climax Control 329 because Keira Fisher was unable to make her assignment to that match. So, Andrea, what are your thoughts about me being assigned to this match instead of Keira? I mean, come on, let it out, tell us how you feel having a reasonable reign as Internet Champion then April 3, 2022, you lost the Internet Championship to Masque De Lune? Nobody enjoys losing a Championship so I’m sure you feel bad, sad, and disappointed, but you should manage to hold another Championship some day. Suck it up and move on.

Bea pauses to take a drink of water then she continues with her comments.

Bea:  Before you say something about our history against each other I’ll take the opportunity to inform the viewers so you don’t have to waste your breath. We’ve met in the ring only once Andrea and I admit you won that match by pinfall. But for the education of the viewers I need to state the facts so when you make all your claims they’ll know the truth. When we met on February 2, 2020, at Climax Control 260, that was only my third match as a wrestler. I was new to the sport and you, having a bit more experience, got the win in that match. We haven’t met in the ring since that time. Maybe you fail to take into consideration that a lot has happened in two years and two months since our first match with each other. Maybe you forget that at one point in your wrestling career you were a rookie and had to take a lot of hard knocks before you got up and took charge. Whether you forgot all of that from your beginner days, or you just care to ignore the truth, so be it. The truth is that you are facing me, not Keira, and I plan on impressing the world so they’ll see I’m deserving of a shot at the Internet Championship, and other Championships, here in Sin City Wrestling. If you wish to take me lightly it’s your loss.

Bea informs the camera crew she needs to pick Iris up at the HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS groomers and that she’ll return later to air more comments for her upcoming match. They cut their feed to the network and our screen goes dark.

RETURN TO HOT DOGS AND COOLS CATS GROOMERS TO GET IRIS

The scene comes on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart in the lobby of HOT DOGS AND COOL CATS groomers in Rhodes. She is waiting for Iris to be brought out. When Iris comes out Bea is excited to see Iris need and clean, with her hair trimmed, wearing numerous bows and a bandana, and she smells of expensive doggy perfume. The look on the face of Iris is enough to let us know she didn’t want a bath but she had no choice.

Bea:  IRIS! You look stunning and you smell great! Wait until Pete the Cactus sees you looking and smelling great!

Iris:  Grumble! Snort! Growl! Howl! (Translation:  I’ll give you something to smell when we return to our hotel room!)

Bea:  On our way to our hotel I have a special surprise for you. We’ll stop by a restaurant that is pet friendly and I’ll buy lunch for you and Pete the Cactus, then we can finish is off with ice cream for you two, then we will return to our hotel room so you and Pete can play video games while I return to the stadium to continue my comments concerning my upcoming match with Andrea Hernandez.

Iris:  Bark! Arf! Howl! Squeal! (Translation:  Since you put it that way I’ll behave and not stink up our hotel room. Thanks Mommy!)

Bea and Iris take off and the scene slowly fades out as they walk away.

BEA HAS RETURNED TO DIAGORAS STADIUM TO AIR MORE COMMENTS

We again see Bea Barnhart standing in front of the wrestling ring at Diagoras Stadium where she will face Andrea Hernandez at Climax Control 329. When the camera crew informs Bea they are live broadcasting Bea launches into her comments.

Bea:  Andrea. . .Andrea. . .Andrea. You are in for a very special match against me. You don’t take me seriously but after I defeat you then you will become a supporter of me as you will no longer be able to defeat me in the ring. When we are into the action of our match and you try to land a blow or maneuver on me I won’t be there to accept it. I’m quick in the ring and you will not be able to latch onto me. As soon as you realize you missed a blow or maneuver and turn around to try another one I’ll have already landed a blow or maneuver on you. The concept is a simple one of me attacking quickly then quickly moving out of your reach. You’ll be so frustrated by the five minute mark in our match that you’ll just give up and take the loss to me. Yeah. . .yeah. . .yeah. . .you think that won’t be the case in our match. You think that can never happen to you against me. Imagine your surprise and shock when I defeat you and prove to the fans who they should be supporting.

Bea flashes a huge grin.

Bea:  I’m going to be so quick in our match that you’ll think I can time travel where I zap out from in front of you and the next instant I’m behind her applying another maneuver or hold on you. You’ll get dizzy spinning around trying to figure out where I’ll be the next moment. But, Andrea, there’s no need for you to fear and tremble as I won’t drag out your loss to me just to make you suffer. You’ll suffer enough when I quickly defeat you and nobody will believe in you any longer. Remember my assignment to this match is not a punishment placed on me. It is a gift handed to me. Have a nice day.

Bea informs the camera crew she’s done with her comments and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


17
Climax Control Archives / I WILL BE THE NEXT INTERNET CHAMPION
« on: April 14, 2022, 03:45:02 PM »
I WILL BE THE NEXT INTERNET CHAMPION

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart got a gift handed to him when the Climax Control 328 card was announced. Even though Bill lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan at Climax Control 326 when Climax Control 328 was announced Bill is facing Jack Washington for the Internet Championship.

BILL AND IRIS RAISE MONEY WITH A LASAGNA EATING CONTESTs

The scene changes and we are taken back to Tuesday, April 5, 2022, while Bill and Bea Barnhart, along with their English Bulldog Iris, were still in Lawrenceville, Georgia, before they traveled to Greece. They are at the Gwinnett County Fairgrounds located at 2405 Sugarloaf Pkwy, Lawrenceville, Georgia, not far from their home. Today Bill and Iris are facing off in a Lasagna eating competition to raise money for homeless people in the Lawrenceville area. Bea will be acting as moderator for the event and they invited Anthony Amey, the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta, to be the official Referee for this event.

Bea:  Welcome to another fundraising challenge pitting Bill Barnhart against Iris the Bulldog. Today they are participating against each other in a lasagna eating contest. Each of them will receive a tray of lasagna that weight three pounds. They will have a maximum of five minutes to devour the lasagna. If one of them can devour the lasagna in that time they will win. If neither of them finishes their lasagna when the five minutes are up then we will weigh the remaining trays of lasagna to see which has the lighter one. The one with the lighter weight tray of lasagna remaining will be declared the winner. Today we have our friend, Anthony Amey, who is the Sports Anchor at WSB-TV Channel 2 in Atlanta. Anthony are you ready to referee this contest?

Anthony:  Yes! Let’s get this contest underway!

The serving staff brings out two three pound trays of lasagna. To ensure there is no cheating they weight both trays to ensure both are exactly three pounds. Both Bill and Iris are satisfied that this contest will be fair and equal.

Anthony:  Bill. . .Iris. . .I have in my hand an air horn. When I blow the air horn the five minutes allotted for this lasagna eating contest begins. When the five minutes are up I will blow the air horn again and the contest will be officially over and both of you must immediately stop eating. However if one of you finishes your tray of lasagna before the five minutes are up then you are automatically declared the winner. Are you two ready?

Bill:  Hell yeah!

Iris:  Woof Bark! (interpretation:  Hell yeah!)

Anthony Amey blows the air horn and this contest is officially underway. Iris dives face-first into her tray of lasagna immediately putting Bill behind. Bill realizes this and he picks up the pace and he manages to come up even with Iris at this time.

Anthony:  One minute has elapsed. Four minutes to go!

Bill takes the time announcement as his incentive to pick up his eating pace. Iris isn’t going to let Daddy Bill get away with passing her up eating lasagna so she picks up the pace also. Both are about one fourth done with their trays of lasagna.

Anthony:  Two minutes have elapsed. You two have three minutes left to devour the remaining three-fourths of your lasagna!

Iris picks up the pace of eating faster than Bill does. However in the process Iris sucked  in a bit too much lasagna and she starts coughing and gasping. Bill takes the advantage by consistently eating without choking like Iris just did.

Anthony:  Three minutes are gone and both contestants are just shy of the half way point in their lasagna with Bill quickly closing in on the half way point.

Iris has a look at her face that indicates it is all or nothing for her in this contest so she continues to gulp, swallow, and gasp, but she’s making better progress now and it appears she’s passed Bill up by a bit.

Anthony:  Four minutes are up. Only one minute to go and both Bill and Iris are just barely past the half way point in their pans of lasagna. This is going to be an interesting finish!

Bill picks up the pace and passes Iris. Iris speeds up and passes Bill. They go back and forth several times but the time has run out and Anthony Amey blows the air horn to end the contest. Both Bill and Iris stop eating and now the weighing of the remaining lasagna needs to take place.

Anthony:  That’s it! This contest is over! The serving staff will now weigh both lasagna trays and whichever tray is lighter that person, or dog, will be declared the winner.

With both lasagna trays containing just a bit less than half the lasagna this will be a close weighing event. They put Bill’s lasagna tray on the scale and he comes in at one pound four ounces which means Bill ate one pound twelve ounces of lasagna. When they put the lasagna pan of Iris on the scale it comes in at one pound six ounces which means Iris ate one pound ten ounces of lasagna making Bill the winner by two ounces.

Anthony:  The winner of this lasagna eating contest, by two ounces, BILL BARNHART!!!

The crowd cheers but Iris is obviously sad she lost. Bill and Iris comfort her and they remind her of the many contests she won against Daddy Bill. They hand Iris all of the remaining lasagna from the two trays and Iris quickly forgets about being sad for losing against Daddy Bill.

Bea:  I have an envelope here with $2,500 that was donated by the community in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and we are giving this money to the City of Lawrenceville to help homeless people. Thanks to everyone who donated to this fundraising event and for you who came out today to watch Bill and Iris compete and cheer them on!

The scene changes are we are taken to today in Crete, Greece, where Bill will be taking on Jack Washington for the Internet Championship. We see Bill and Bea sitting at a table which appears to be in the broadcast studio at the Theodoros Vardinogiannis Stadium. Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans and a black pullover shirt and Bea is casually dressed in slacks and a white buttoned shirt.  The techs in the studio inform Bill they are now live broadcasting.

I WILL BE THE NEXT INTERNET CHAMPION

Bill:  Jack let me start my comments by informing you that I’m going to be the next Internet Champion. That will happen on Sunday, April 17, 2022, at Climax Control 328, and there’s not a damn thing you can do to prevent me from winning the Internet Championship. How can I make a bold statement like that? Let me inform you of the facts.

Bea:  You tell him Bill.

Bill:  One reason you cannot defeat me comes from Climax Control 326. What happened on that day Jack? You faced my friend, Senor Vinnie, in a non-title match and he defeated you but you were fortunate that the Internet Championship wasn’t on the line in that match. You’ll be defeated again at Climax Control 328 but this time by me and I become the Internet Champion.

Bea:  Bill Barnhart. . .Internet Champion. . .that has a nice ring to it.

Bill flashes a big smile.

Bill:  So, Jack, shall we review your Championship history to date? You won the Heavyweight Championship on September 27, 2020 and lost is 3 months later on December 20, 2020. Then you regained the Heavyweight Championship on March 7, 2021 but lost it two months later on May 23, 2021. And now for the Internet Championship you currently hold. You obtained the Internet Championship on March 20, 2022, and I assure you that you’ll lose it to me on April 17, 2022, at Climax Control 328 for a one month reign. Hmmm. Something just popped into my head. You total combined time as a Champion for the two Heavyweight Championships and your current Internet Championship is less than my one reign as Roulette Champion. The concept concerning Championships isn’t to hold a lot of Championships and lose them quickly like you’ve done. The concept is to earn a Championship and retain it for a respectable amount of time. That you have failed to do.

Bea:  Nice slam dunk Bill.

Bill grins larger this time.

Bill:  Let’s get a few things out in the open Jack. Have you faced me in the wrestling ring yet? Nope! Are you aware that I’m going to defeat you and walk away from our match as the Internet Champion? Nope! You’re delusional thinking that with your pathetic record of winning championships and quickly losing them that you can defeat me. You seem to fail to take into consideration that I held the Roulette Championship for six months. I successfully defended it several times. I didn’t earn the Roulette Championship and lose is quickly as you did with the Heavyweight Championship. People like you enjoy making jokes about me as a wrestler. You all had your fun but when I became Roulette Champion and retained the Championship for six months all the jokes stopped. When I whup your ass and become Internet Champion all the harassment from others stop and everyone will wake up to who I am and what I’ve accomplished and they will start praising me.

Bea:  Well stated Bill.

Bill flashes a Joker from Batman type of grin.

Bill:  Another thing I want to get out in the open. Recently Goth won a multi-wrestler match with the winner obtaining a shot at the wrestler who is holding the Internet Championship at the next Super Card. I know you were cowering when you saw Goth win his match because I know you don’t want to face him as he’s an impressive wrestler. But who are you facing at Climax Control 328? ME! And here’s a bit of history for you. When I worked in Asylum Wrestling Alliance I took out Goth more times than he took me out both inside the wrestling ring and outside the wrestling ring. Not only in the wrestling ring as a wrestler but in a personal way as I worked as his Assistant in helping with the Federation. So imagine what you’re facing this Sunday. A wrestler who was able to take Goth out of action more times than Goth was able to take me out of action. Plainly stated you are facing me, not Goth, and after I win the Internet Championship from you this Sunday I’ll be the wrestler defending against Goth at the next Super Card. Then after I defeat Goth, and properly retain my Internet Championship, the entire wrestling world will stand up and salute me!

Bea:  Although I know other wrestlers, and most of the viewers, don’t like me reminding them of my Manager status in Bill’s corner during his matches I’ll state my position anyway. I’m in Bill’s corner as his Manager to ensure there are no run-ins on his matches, no cheating by his opponents, and no other illegal activity in the ring. So, Jack, if you attempt illegal stuff during the match I’ll inform the Referee and keep you in line. If others try to run in on the match to help you they’ll be stopped and taken out before they get to the ring. You’ve been warned. Take my warning seriously.

Bill:  Thanks Bea. Jack I’m a wrestler who goes all out in every match. I never hold back. I’m a wrestler who never once demanded or begged for a shot at a Championship. Every shot given to me was given to me by Management because they like what they saw in me and wanted to give the Champions a challenge. If you think I don’t make an impression on Management by performing my job well in Sin City Wrestling remember that I never beg or demand Management for shots at Championships. Unlike the rest of you who demand shots at Championships when you didn’t earn it I do my job and don’t beg and demand anything. Take into account that two weeks after losing the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan we saw Management sending me to challenge you for the Internet Championship. There’s a full roster of wrestlers that most people feel are more deserving of a shot at you but I got it. Did I beg Management for this match? NO! Did I threaten them if they didn’t give me this match against you? NO! Did I bribe them with money or other favors? NO! I got this shot because I’m an amazingly gifted wrestler and they acknowledge that fact!

Bea:  Woo Hoo!

Bill laughs loudly then continues with his comments.

Bill:  Jack I’m not a stand-up comedian but I have a few stand-up comedy lines I’d like to present to you. . .

What do you call a man who had a penis injury and had an artificial penis made for him from wood? WOODPECKER!!!

What nickname do you call a man who has a wooden artificial penis?  WOODY!!!

What do you call a wrestler who has held three Championships in Sin City Wrestling, who quickly lost the first two, then at Climax Control 326 he lost his match against my friend, Senor Vinnie, and now he’s going to lose the Internet Championship to me at Climax Control 328? LOSER!!!

Bill and Bea both roar with laughter. The techs in the studio inform Bill and Bea that they are taking a one minute commercial break then they will return to broadcasting.

AFTER THE COMMERCIAL BREAK

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Final recap of what I stated to you today Jack. ONE. . .you suck. TWO. . .you’ll lose the Internet Championship to me at Climax Control 318. THREE. . .I’ll be defending the Internet Championship at the next Super Card. FOUR. . .You’ll never be able to defeat me. FIVE. . .Have fun leading up to our match this Sunday, if you are able to remain calm and relaxed knowing who and what is facing you, and I’ll see you on Sunday in the Main Event!

Bill gives the CUT sign to the studio staff and they cut their feed and our screen goes dark.


18
Climax Control Archives / NOBODY IS KILLING MY DREAMS
« on: April 06, 2022, 09:57:02 AM »
Pete the Cactus used by permission of Gerrit *

NOBODY IS KILLING MY DREAMS

The scene comes on our screen and we see Bill and Bea Barnhart’s Narrator ready to give his lead-in comments for Bea’s match against Kayla Richards at Climax Control 327.

Narrator:  I had a talk with Bea Barnhart before I came on camera to present lead-in comments concerning her match. If you think lava in a volcano is fired up and hot I’m here to tell you that Bea is fired up and hot and ready to destroy Kayla Richards. I will leave the remaining comments on Bea’s match to her to present to you.

The scene fades out. . .

ZAKYNTHOS, GREECE

The scene comes back on our screen and we see Bea Barnhart in what looks to be a hotel room. We assume she will explain her location soon. In the background we see her husband, Bill Barnhart, who is now the ex-Roulette Champion having lost the Championship to Finn Whelan at Climax Control 326. We don’t see Iris in the background but we are sure she is in the hotel room somewhere. The camera person informs Bea they are broadcasting so she sets herself in front of the camera to present her comments for Climax Control 327.

Bea:  Thank you for joining me today. We’re at a hotel near the Azure Resort and Spa located in Zakynthos, Greece, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 327. I wish to have my husband, Bill Barnhart, join me on camera for a short time before I launch into my comments for my match against Kayla Richards.

Bill walks over to Bea and stands next to her.

Bea:  Bill has been Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion for six months. He lost the Roulette Championship to Finn Whelan in what I call one of the most interesting Roulette Wheel spins ever. You can take over the comments on the Roulette Championship from here Bill.

Bill: Me and Finn Whelan, were surprised when the Roulette Wheel landed on a stipulation that there would be a maximum of twelve types of matches within the match and each wrestler had to try to win as many of those matches during the time limit of the match. We both ended up with six wins each so we went into a tie-breaker. Finn ended up winning the tie-breaker so he is now Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion. I want to tell Finn that he did an amazing job in our match. We both did great. The fact that Finn didn’t give up makes me appreciate what he accomplished. Well done!

Bea:  Thanks, Bill, for being a great husband and wrestler and you were a great Roulette Champion. The fact that you commend your opponent for earning the Roulette Championship away from you tells the world what a wonderful person, man, and wrestler, you are. Could you check on Iris in the other room Bill? It has been extremely quiet in her room and that makes me think she’s up to something.

Bill walks toward the room where Iris is located but when he is a few feet from entering the room he hears music and rustling noises.

Bea:  I ask the viewers to excuse me for a moment so I can find out what’s going on with Iris.

As Bea begins to walk toward the room where Iris is located, but before she can reach where Bill is standing, we hear the song AFTERNOON DELIGHT by Starland Vocal Band playing. We all know that the song references having a sexual encounter so both Bill and Bea are concerned. Bea walks up and stands next to Bill and before the two can enter the room where Iris is located we watch as Pete the Cactus exits the room wearing a fancy bathrobe while smoking a fancy cigar with a huge smile on his face.

Bill:  PETE! What in the hell was going on in there with you and Iris?

Bea:  IRIS! What in the hell was going on in there with you and Pete?

Of course the implication was there that Pete and Iris were having sex until Bill and Bea walk into the bedroom of Iris. They notice videos games on the screens of the two laptops in the room, one belonging to Iris and one belonging to Pete the Cactus.

Bea:  Iris! Tell me the truth! What was going on with you and Pete in the room?

Iris:  Woof! Bark! Snarl! Whimper! (Translation:  We were playing video games against each other and Pete won against me so I got pouty on him.)

Bill:  Pete! If you two were just playing videos games why in the hell did you come out of the room of Iris wearing a fancy bathrobe, smoking a fancy cigar, and with a huge smile on your face?

Pete: ! ! ! ! ! * * * * * # # # # # ? ? ? ? ? (Translation:  I soundly defeated Iris in the video games. She’s not as good a player as I am and Iris is a sore loser. When I won, and I won easily, I celebrated by putting on my fancy bathrobe, lit up my cigar, and of course I had a huge smile on my face. Stop trying to insinuate things against me and Iris okay!

Bill and Bea look at each other and shrug their shoulders. Bill goes into the room with Iris and Pete and Bea returns to where she was presenting her comments for her match against Kayla Richards.

MEASURING UP

Bea:  I apologize for the interruption by Pete and Iris. Turns out it was a case of us misunderstanding what happened. Concerning my match at Climax Control 327 I’m facing Kayla Richards. So, Kayla, you seem to want to portray yourself as a psycho, anger laden, hateful person, who loves destroying people and killing their dreams. Before I talk about those claims I wish to talk about how we measure up. You come into our match listed at five feet nine inches and one hundred twenty-eight pounds. I come into our match at five feet five inches and one hundred thirty pounds. We’re basically equal in weight but you are four inches taller. I assure you that having a four inch height advantage won’t help you at all. I’ve done exceptionally well against wrestlers taller, larger, heavier, and more experienced than you are.

Bea flashes a smile into the camera.

REMAINING SILENT IS ALWAYS THE BETTER DECISION

Bea:  Kayla you seem to enjoy running around spouting off that you’ll kill the dreams of your opponents. Tsk tsk tsk! Nice claims but it is always better for people like you to remain silent. I’ll present the information to you and then you have a decision to make. Samuel Langhorn Clemens, better known by his Pen Name of Mark Twain, was a popular American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer. One of his most profound quotes is “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to talk and remove all doubt.”

Bea puts her hand over her mouth in a gesture to Kayla that Kayla would have been better served had she kept her mouth shut rather than to issue threats to her.

Bea:  Mark Twain said it straight but you have decided to ignore his advice and prove to the world you’re a fool. Nice going Kayla!

NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE

Bea:  One of my favorite songs is WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT by Twisted Sister. I’ll ask the Network to put up a graphic of part of the lyrics of the song as they apply to you and me in our match.

The Network puts the graphic on the screen showing the section of lyrics Bea wants to present.

We'll fight the powers that be just
Don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong

We're not gonna take it
Oh no, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it anymore

Oh, you're so condescending
Your gall is never ending
We don't want nothin', not a thing from you

Your life is trite and jaded
Boring and confiscated
If that's your best, your best won't do!!!


The Network leaves the lyrics on the screen while Bea continues with her comments.

Bea:  I’m leaving the lyrics on the screen so you can see where I’ve modified the lyrics to change WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT to read I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT. And the lyrics go “Your life is trite and jaded. . .Boring and confiscated. . .If that's your best, your best won't do!!! It comes down to this Kayla. If you want to rant and rave, and beat your your chest with your fists, and foam at the mouth, claiming how violent in the ring you think you are, and claiming to be the killer of dreams, well as Twisted Sister stated it in their song IF THAT’S YOUR BEST YOUR BEST WON’T DO!!!  I challenge you to try to give me your best in our match but no matter what you bring or what you try I’m walking away from our match as the winner.

FIVE ITEMS FOR YOU TO CONSIDER

Bea holds one finger up.

Bea:  First item for you Kayla is that you’re not killing my dreams. You may kill yourself trying to defeat me but my dreams remain intact.

Bea holds two fingers up.

Bea:  Second item is that although you, and most of the other Bombshells in Sin City Wrestling, make fun of my overall win-loss record the fact remains that they’re jealous. Why, you ask, would the other Bombshells be jealous of me when I have yet to hold a Singles Championship, but I have held the Mixed Tag Team Championship, and my win-loss record isn’t in the outstanding category? Good question. They’re jealous because I perform exceptionally well in all my matches. Win or lose I’ve gained the attention of Management and I’ve been assigned to five Championship matches without having to beg Management to give me one like nearly all the other Bombshells in Sin City Wrestling do. I won one of them, the Mixed Tag Team Championship. Soon I’ll earn a Singles Championship and then that will shut everyone up!

Bea holds up three fingers.

Bea:  My third item is that I’m not just going to defeat you in our match. I plan on making you suffer and make you submit to one of my numerous submission holds.

Bea holds four fingers up.

Bea:  I have my stomping boots on for our match and I plan on stomping at least four mud holes in you during our match.

Bea holds five fingers up.

Bea:  My fifth and final item for you revolves around the number five. I plan on defeating you in five minutes or less so be prepared for that.

CLOSING COMMENTS

We watch as Bea walks over to the table in the dining area of the room and she pulls out a pair of her wrestling boots from a box on top of the dining table. Bea puts the boots on then she has the camera person get a shot of her wrestling boots before they focus on her face again.

Bea:  Kayla I can’t expect someone of your low status in life to know about music that was perfect for the time it was created. I put on my wrestling boots for a visual for a reason. There was a song by Nancy Sinatra, the daughter of Frank Sinatra, titled THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING. In the original lyrics it stated THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY’LL DO. . .ONE OF THESE DAYS THESE BOOTS ARE GONNA WALK ALL OVER YOU. For your benefit and enjoyment I modified the original lyrics and they go as follows:  THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR STOMPING. . .AND THAT’S JUST WHAT THEY’LL DO. . .AT CLIMAX CONTROL MY BOOTS ARE GONNA STOMP ALL OVER YOU!!!

Bea bursts out in laughter then she asks the Network to take the lyrics off the screen.

Bea:  I’m going to enjoy beating the crap out of you Kayla! I’m going to enjoy stomping the hell out of you! I’m going to enjoy having my hand raised in victory! See you on Sunday, March 10, 2022.

Bea informs the camera person she is done with her comments and that they can cut their camera feed. They do so and our screen goes dark.


19
Climax Control Archives / I'M WRESTLING A JOKE FOR AN OPPONENT
« on: March 31, 2022, 08:33:11 AM »
I’M WRESTLING A JOKE FOR AN OPPONENT

Narrator:  For a long time in his previous wrestling federation Bill Barnhart had to wrestle, meaning fight hard, against his half-brother Chris Shipman. Now the people in Sin City Wrestling Management have decided that Bill should face off against Finn Whelan with the claim that Finn Whelan is more than Chris Shipman ever was. Well with someone getting accolades they don’t deserve, meaning Finn Whelan is less than half what Chris Shipman was, I see another successful Roulette Championship defense by Bill at Climax Control 326.

BILL BARNHART AT FIVE YEARS OLD

The scene comes into focus and we see a five year old Bill Barnhart on the street in front of his home at 4263 Saint Andrews Road in Oakland, California, where Bill grew up. Bill Barnhart’s father, William Barnhart, is taking the training wheels off Bill’s bicycle.

Bill:  Father what are you doing? If I don’t have the training wheels I might fall over on my bike until I learn how to balance properly and get hurt. I’m only five years old remember?

Father:  Of course I know you’re five years old as you’re my son! Bill there’s only one way to win at riding a bike and that also translates into how to win in life. Everyone learns to ride a bike starting with a tricycle, then they move up to a bicycle with training wheels, then they remove the training wheels and learn to balance and ride the bicycle with ease. Now get on the bike and ride!

Five year old Bill Barnhart gets on the bicycle that no longer has training wheels and he takes off. After a short distance Bill topples over but isn’t able to get his foot out in time to stop his fall to the pavement. Bill scrapes his knee on the pavement and we see he is in pain and his leg is bleeding.

Bill:  Damn! Now I got a scraped-up knee and I’m bleeding and it hurts!

Father:  Shut up boy and suck it up! When I served in World War II in the United States Navy I saw shipmates take shrapnel that cut them deep and they were bleeding and in a hell of a lot more pain than you are right now! You know what my shipmates did? They got up and continued taking the fight to the enemy. Your enemy, Bill, is being afraid to get hurt. Everyone gets hurt in life and they deal with that pain so deal with it! Get your ass back on the bike and conquer it!

Bill grumbles but obeys his father and gets back onto the bike. Bill wobbles like he previously did but this time he manages to maintain his balance and control of the bike. Bill quickly learns that a bike in motion tends to want to stay upright and the only time you need to think about the bike toppling over is when you go too slow. After a few minutes Bill is traveling up and down their street with ease. When Bill returns to where his father is waiting for him his father imparts some advice.

Father:  Bill you did great! Had you let your frustration, a bruised leg, and a little blood scare you off you wouldn’t be enjoying riding your bike just now. Whatever you end up doing in life as your line of work you always look forward and don’t look back. When you have failures in your life you do the same thing you did with your bike after you took a fall. You get back up and continue to move forward. Never back down from anything. Be confident in what you’re capable of accomplishing and you’ll always be successful.

The scene of five year old Bill Barnhart conquering riding his bike without training wheels, and powering through the pain of falling over, scraping his knee on the pavement, and bleeding, ends and we are returned to present-day time.

PRESENT-DAY TIME IN LAWRENCEVILLE, GEORGIA

The present-day scene opens to see Bill and Bea Barnhart getting out of Bill’s Hyundai Santa Fe SUV and walking toward McCray’s Tavern located at 100 North Perry Street in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The assigned camera person follows them to the entrance of the tavern. The instant Bill steps through the doors of McCray’s Tavern everyone in the tavern yells out BILLLLLLLLLL!!! in the same fashion patrons did when Norm, in the television series CHEERS, walked into the bar. Bill takes a bow and greets everyone then he and Bea take their normal seats at the bar.

Bill:  Thanks for the wonderful greeting! Nice to be well known and appreciated.

Bea:  Bill you are always well known and appreciated.

Bartender:  Bill you’re our hero. You live in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and you’ve been an outstanding wrestler for many years and you’ve brought attention and honor to our city of Lawrenceville.

Bill:  Awwww, that’s nice to hear, and again thanks for the welcome when we walked in. By the way have you heard that Sin City Wrestling is currently on a Greek tour? Our first stop is in Corfu, Greece, at the Corfu National Stadium. I’m defending my Roulette Championship against someone named Finn Whelan.

Bartender:  Finn Whelan? Who the *bleep* is that? I’ve never heard of him so how in the hell did he get a shot at your Roulette Championship? Anyone here today ever heard of Finn Whelan?

The Bartender looks around the bar and the patrons shrug their shoulders and tell the Bartender they have no clue who Finn Whelan is.

Bartender:  There you go Bill. Nobody here has ever heard of Finn Whelan. So what are you thinking about why he got assigned to take you on for the Roulette Championship?

Bill:  I haven’t a clue. This is the first time I’ve heard his name mentioned. Some are even trying to tell me that Finn Whelan is a hell of a lot more violent and aggressive than my half-brother Chris Shipman.

Bartender:  Seriously? There’s people out there who think there’s a wrestler more violent and aggressive than your half-brother Chris Shipman? It’s impossible that anyone can be more violent and aggressive than Shipman. The fact that you destroyed Chris Shipman so many times that he went into retirement says it all.

Bill:  That’s what I said. The world, and Finn Whelan, will find out on Sunday, April 3, 2022, at Climax Control 326, that I’m the Roulette Champion and will remain Roulette Champion for a very long time. DRINKS FOR EVERYONE ON ME!!!

Bea:  That’s a nice gesture Bill.

Everyone in the bar roars their approval to Bill buying a round of drinks for all of them. While everyone is celebrating the scene starts to fade out until our screen goes dark.

AT THE HOME OF BILL AND BEA IN LAWRENCEVILLE GEORGIA

The camera feed of the assigned camera person comes on our screen and we see that we are in the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart. Bill and Bea are sitting on the couch in the Living Room and Iris is sitting next to Daddy Bill on the couch. We notice there are some visible scratches and bruises on Bill, from his match against Alexander Raven at Blaze of Glory X where Bill successfully defended his Roulette Championship, but overall we know he’s fine and ready to go for his match with Finn Whelan.

HOW DID FINN WHELAN GET ASSIGNED TO THIS MATCH?

Bill:  Well my next victim is Finn Whelan. So, Finn, you managed to whine and complain and beg to Management and then demand a shot at my Roulette Championship. I haven’t heard of you except for a few small mentions prior to our upcoming match being scheduled. There’s a lot of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who should be sent to face me for my Roulette Championship but Management chose you instead. I guess they wanted to shut you up after you whined and complained and demanded a shot at my Roulette Championship. The saying is you should be careful what you ask for as you might just get it. I assure you that your claims of being more violent, more evil, more talented, and more hateful, than my half-brother Chris Shipman, is hilarious! Nobody in the world is more violent, evil, talented, or hateful, than Chris Shipman. In fact nobody in the Universe is more violent, evil, talented, or hateful, than my half-brother Chris Shipman except for me! But, Finn, you’ll find out the hard way what the truth is when I destroy you in our match. Let me enlighten you with a graphic I’ll have the Network put up on the screen to let you know why nobody yet has defeated me for my Roulette Championship. Would the Network please put up the graphic I sent to them? Thanks.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

A graphic of a Bill’s fist comes up on the screen with the wording MY FIST. . .ONE SIZE FITS ALL.

Bill:  Finn I wanted to show you this graphic to let you know that I’ll defeat you like I’ve defeated my previous challengers. We don’t know what match rules the Roulette Wheel is going to land on. Whether it is a tame Standard Rules match or a violent Hardcore Rules, or better yet a match with No Rules, I’m gonna win! Thanks to the Network for putting up my graphic. You can take it down now.

The Network removes the graphic and the scene returns to Bill and Bea and Iris sitting on their couch in their living room.

Bill:  Finn you’re one of those fake wrestlers that disgust me and I’ll give you the information you need so you know why you’re pathetic and that your attitude that you think you’re better than everyone else is bullshit. So, Finn, let me talk about wrestlers like you who have to make up identities, personas, and wear a false face, to make yourself appear to be bigger, badder, or stronger, than everyone else in the Federation. Some wrestlers wear a mask and claim they are invincible. Then we see you see them lose matches. Some wrestlers wear face paint to try to improve their look to appear aggressive then we see them lose matches when someone slaps their face paint off and defeats them. Some wrestlers take a deep breath and puff out their chest to appear larger than they really are but we watch them lose matches because they are full of fluff and no substance. Some wrestlers claim they have the pinning combinations or submission holds that guarantee them a win then we watch them lose again and again and again because their pinning combinations or submission holds didn’t work well on their opponents. How do all these pathetic ass clowns, especially you Finn, compare to me? I’m the real deal. I’m 100 percent who I say I am. I don’t have steroids in me. I don’t contain additives or artificial flavorings or colors. While the rest of you are fake goods I’m the real deal. Finn when you step into the ring with me you face a 100 percent honest and true wrestler and you’ll lose the match.

Bea:  I’ve heard the backstage talk and there’s a lot of stuff going around that Finn Whelan is known for obtaining help in matches to try to get a cheap win. I’m in Bill’s corner, as his Manager, to ensure nobody tries any crap to try to get a cheap win for Finn Whelan.

CUT AND BRUISED BUT I’M STILL STANDING

Bill: Okay I got a few dings, cuts, and scratches, from my Thumbtacks Rules Match to defend my Roulette Championship against Alexander Raven at Blaze of Glory X. Minor stuff in comparison of the years of violent and vicious attacks I took from my half-brother Chris Shipman. With all the weapons involved in my match with Alexander Raven I took some cuts and bruises in the match but I’m fine and thanks for asking. After slamming Alexander Raven into the Thumbtacks for the win I’m still Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion and that’s all that matters. Just remember what happened Alex. You went all-out from the start of the match and what happened is you went too much all-out. And what happened is the same thing that happened in our first match. You were doing well then you distracted your attention off of me and I took advantage of it. Simple as that. The bottom line can be summed up using lyrics from Elton John’s song I’M STILL STANDING. No matter what all my opponents have attempted to do they’ve all failed and I’m still standing as Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion. And, Finn, if you think you’re going to change that and earn my Roulette Championship away from me you better think hard and be prepared for a loss to me. Nobody else could defeat me and for damn sure you’re not gonna do it. After I defeat you I’ll use the lyrics from Elton John’s son and yell out I’M STILL STANDING as Sin City Wrestling Roulette Champion!

Bea:  Even though Bill went through years of violent matches with his half-brother Chris Shipman, and you all might think it takes a long time for Bill to heal from his recent cuts and bruises, you’re wrong. . .dead wrong. Bill is a quick healer and when Climax Control 326 arrives Bill will be 100 percent ready to easily beat down and defeat Finn Whelan.

IMPROVISE

Bill:  What do you call is when you are doing something and you need to change things up to make it work well? They call that improvise. What do you do when you love eating Spam, and you love eating sandwiches, and you love eating Spam sandwiches, but when you try to make a Spam sandwich with bread all you get is a soggy sandwich? I came up with a solution. I love Spam and I love Hash Browns. So I came up with the concept a Hashbrowns Spam Sandwich. I fry up the Spam in a frying pan and cook up four hash brown patties in my air fryer at 400 degrees for 15 minutes. I spread a little ketchup on the hash browns and create a Hashbrowns Span Sandwich. I’ll ask the Network to please put up the graphic I sent to them. Thanks.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

The Network puts up the graphic of Bill’s Hashbrowns Span Sandwich. The graphic stays on the screen long enough for everyone to take in the graphic then the Network removes the graphic and Bill continues with his comments.

Bill:  See what I did there Finn? I don’t follow the crowd. I don’t do the same things everyone else does. I don’t follow what everyone else does just because everyone else follows what they do. I do my own thing. I create my own circumstances. I initiate my own advantages. I win wrestling matches, and I’ve been successful in defending my Roulette Championship, because I think during wrestling matches and I anticipate what opponents are going to do. Unlike you who make false claims and try to do high-risk maneuvers, which cause you to fail more than you succeed, I stick with what works for me. Try all the silly stuff if you want Whelan. Try all the high-flying maneuvers you want Finn. Do whatever you feel you need to do to get the win over me. No matter what you try you’ll fail.

Bill lets out a loud laugh then he regains his composure and continues with his comments.

TALKING OUT OF YOUR ASS

Bill:  Finn there’s a term TALKING OUT YOUR ASS and it has numerous interpretations of what that term means. Examples are to make an obviously false comment or claim. Another is to jump into a discussion on a topic you have no prior knowledge of and it usually results in the person looking like an idiot. Another definition is talking bullshit or nonsense. And, finally, the definition of TALKING OUT YOUR ASS, also known as VERBAL DIARRHEA, is often perpetrated by idiots who love to state their opinion on topics without having prior knowledge or information on the subject before jumping into the discussion. With that in mind I want everyone on the Sin City Wrestling Roster, especially you Finn, to understand that I plan on shoving your head up your ass so you’ll literally be talking out of your ass when you speak. And if you spread rumors by calling others on your cell phone I’ll shove your cell phone up your ass so you’ll be calling people and they will tell you that you are literally talking out of your ass.

Bea:  I wish to make one final comment then I need to bring Iris out for her walk. Finn we know you’re a desperate wrestler. We know you want to make a name for yourself. We know you’ll try to get others to get involved in the match so that you can claim it wasn’t YOU who cheated it was someone outside of the match who cheated. Try all you want punk but you won’t succeed. Others have tried and failed. When you try and fail you will get tossed on top of the other losers Bill took out. Come on Iris! Let’s go for a walk!

Iris gets excited to go for her walk and she jumps off the couch and runs to the front door so she can allow Mommy Bea to put her harness and leash on. We return our attention to Bill.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  Oh, Finn, how it sucks to be you. How it sucks that you’ll walk into the ring over-confident only for me to send you home a pathetic loser. You may think you are something great but in reality you’re pathetic and you suck. Thinking you’re something, and actually being that something, are two different things and they are polar opposites.

Bill smiles into the camera.

Bill:  A Parakeet may think it is a Hawk but in reality it is still a small weak Parakeet. A house cat can think it is a Lion but in reality it is still a small house cat. I worm can think it is a Python but in reality it is still a little worm. A house fly can think it is a fighter jet but it is still an insignificant house fly. You, Finn, think you’re something you’re not just as the Parakeet, house cat, worm, and house fly think they’re something they’re not. Those creatures I mentioned are still what they are no matter what they think they are.

Bill laughs loudly.

Bill:  Take a look in a mirror Finn. What you see looking back at you is a pathetic piece of shit who hasn’t earned their shot at my Roulette Championship. I’ve never had a shot at a Championship handed to me because Management felt sorry for me like they feel sorry for you. I’ve earned every shot at a Championship that I’ve received. Now, Whelan, although their attempt to make you feel better, by giving you a shot at my Roulette Championship makes you feel like you’re actually worth something, you and I both know the truth. What I want when I defend my Roulette Championship is an opponent who is a legitimate challenge and not a token sacrifice thrown my way. Yes, Finn, that’s what you are. A token sacrifice to me. . .the god of Roulette Champions.

Bill roars with very loud laughter.

Bill:  You see, Finn, the difference between me and you is that you cower away from adversity when you get hurt or injured. Early in my life my father taught me to not let adversity keep me down. He told me if something knocks me down I need to get up and take on and defeat what knocked me down. Father told me about his Navy shipmates who got injured during World War II and yet even when cut and bruised and bleeding they continued to fight the enemy until they won the battle. I learned that as a young boy and I brought that concept to my wrestling career. I’m in the sport of wrestling to overcome everything and every type of wrestler. I’m in the sport of wrestling to show the world what a great wrestler is about. Yes I get bruised, cut, hurt, and bleed, just like everyone else. But that’s where the similarity ends. Whereas other wrestlers give up when they get bruised, cut, hurt, or they are bleeding, I get more aggressive, I power through the pain, and I come out victorious. I’m the total opposite of a pathetic wrestler as you are.

Bill roars extremely loud with laughter then he regains his composure to continue his comments.s

Bill:  Did I piss you off with my comments Finn? I did? Good! That’s what I intended to do! Please enjoy the rest of your time leading up to Climax Control 326 being healthy and without pain because when our match is done, and my hand is raised in victory, and I retain my Roulette Championship, you’ll crawl home and nurse your wounds for weeks.


20
* Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus used by permission of Gerrit *

YOU AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME

Narrator:  Bill Barnhart is more than a wrestler. Bill Barnhart is more than a great wrestler. Bill Barnhart is more than most other wrestlers combined. Bill Barnhart is a legend in the sport of wrestling. Bill Barnhart is also far superior to many superheroes you’ve heard of.

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME ROULETTE CHAMPION

The scene comes into focus at the hotel room of Bill and Bea Barnhart near the Galen Center in Los Angeles, California. Bill is sitting on a large overstuffed chair ready to give his comments on his upcoming Roulette Championship defense match against Alexander Raven. Iris is curled up on the floor near Bill’s feet. We don’t see Bea so she must either be out of the hotel room or in another part of the room and she is out of camera view. Bill looks into the camera to begin his comments.

Bill:  I have a lot of things to say to my opponent, Alexander Raven, concerning our upcoming match. Alexander I want you to know. . .

Bill is interrupted when Bea casually walks between Bill and the camera and she is singing to herself. Bill watches and listens as Bea passes between him and the camera.

Bea:
I love it when you call me Senorita
I wish I could pretend I didn't need ya
But every touch is ooh, la-la-la
It's true, la-la-la
Ooh, I should be running
Ooh, you keep me coming for ya. . .


Bea was so into the song she was singing she didn’t realize she walked between Bill and the camera but when she realizes what she did she suddenly stops her singing and she apologizes to Bill.

Bea:  Oops! Sorry Bill. I didn’t realize you were already broadcasting.

Bill:  Not a problem Bea. In fact I love the song you were singing as I hear it on the radio in my Hyundai Santa Fe a lot. That song by Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes is a great song. In fact I’ve been working on a parody version of that song to use since I’m Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion. Want to hear it?

Bea:  Sure!

Bill stands up from his chair and launches into his version of Senorita.

Bill:  Instead of calling it SENORITA, as the original song is titled, the name I selected for my version is ROULETTE CHAMPION. And since I’m the King of Parody, in addition to being the King of Roulette Champions, I’ve modified the lyrics to fit my amazing reign as Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion as follows.

Bill begins singing his version of the song.

Bill:
I love it when you call me Roulette Champion
And my reign as such has been amazing
But every blow I land on you
Will turn you black and blue
Ooh you should be running
Ooh you should be running from me


Bill is done with his parody version of the song so he takes a bow then returns to sitting on the chair.

I WON’T BACK DOWN

Bill:  Since we started with a song I’ll continue with a song. Most people know the Tom Petty song titled I WON’T BACK DOWN. The lyrics to Tom Petty’s song fits me, as Roulette Champion, perfectly. I’ll sing that song for you now.

Well, I won't back down
No, I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down


Bill flashes a huge grin into the camera then he takes a seat in his chair again.

Bill:  Yes, Alex, you’ve heard the stories I’ve told of how Satan and my half-brother Chris Shipman couldn’t take me down and couldn’t take me out. That tells you all you need to know. If Satan failed to take me out, and he’s banned for eternity from challenging me for my soul again, what in the hell are you doing thinking that you can take me out? You’re an amateur! And when you take into consideration that I took Satan out you know I’m light years ahead of you in talent and ability. I don’t need to go into the details concerning my half-brother Chris Shipman as most people know the story and Chris is long gone and he knows better than to come after me again!

Bill reaches over to the table next to his chair and he picks up a sheet of paper.

SUPERMAN AND GREEN LANTERN AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON ME

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bill:  On this paper is printed the lyrics to the song SUNSHINE SUPERMAN by the singer Donovan. I won’t read the entire song lyrics but I will read one line of the lyrics to give you an idea how awesome I am. The lyrics go Superman or Green Lantern ain't got a-nothin' on me Did those simple lyrics hit home Alexander? I’m more than a mere man. I’m more than a mere wrestler. I’m a hell of a lot more talented than half the Sin City Wrestling roster combined. Do you think you can be the Kryptonite that takes me out like it takes out Superman? HAH! Dream on kid! Do you know what the one weakness of the Green Lantern was? FEAR. Yes, that’s it, that simple. Can you imagine being a superhero being taken over by fear when their job is to get into the face of fear and subdue the villains? I fear nothing so do you honestly think I fear you Raven? HAR HAR HAR!!! Without Kryptonite you cannot take out Superman. Without fear you cannot take out the Green Lantern. No matter what you bring with you to our match you don’t have Kryptonite or fear to try to take take me out!

Bea:  Well stated Bill.

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

Bill: There are two types of people Alex. One is the type who says something but they either can’t back up what they say or they back down from what they said when the going gets tough for them. From my research, Alexander, I believe you’re dumb and could be legally classified as a moron. With me carrying a Genius IQ of 130 you need to believe what I say. I’ve said a lot leading up to our match and I know you’re asking yourself what I mean in the things I say and that’s expected as you’re too dense to understand what I’m talking about. Just as we have words in the English language that are spelled the same but pronounced differently so we have wrestlers who are classified as wrestlers but they perform differently. Take me as the perfect example. I’m an outstanding wrestler and I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Everyone knows what they’re going to get when they get assigned to a wrestling match with me. No fake stuff. No bullshit. No surprises. Just promises fulfilled. Just like having words spelled the same but pronounced differently is dumb so are wrestlers who can’t back up what they say and end up looking stupid and clumsy. Sorry I had to break the news to you like this but someone had to do it.

FOK U

Bill:  I attended Frankfort of Kentucky University and graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and another Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice. We also had great sports teams at Frankfort of Kentucky University especially in baseball and football. You know how some organizations use an acronym for their business or organization names? Examples are NBA for National Basketball Association, MLB for Major League Baseball, and NFL for National Football League. The acronym for Frankfort of Kentucky University was FOKU which we spelled as FOK-U. When we had sporting events and cheered on our team we would yell at our opponents FOK-U! FOK-U!!  FOK-U!!! The other teams, and the sanctioning organization for College sports, tried to ban us from using that acronym but they failed as it is the legal acronym for our school. So I say to you, Alexander Raven. . .  FOK-U! FOK-U!!  FOK-U!!!

Bill is unable to hold back his laughter. After a short time, though, he regains his composure and continues with his comments.

NO MATTER WHERE THE ROULETTE WHEEL STOPS

Bill:  Here’s some information for you Alexander. If the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot where only non-Hardcore wrestling is allowed I have the advantage as I’m a better wrestler than you are and there’s no way you can out-wrestle me. If the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot where it is Hardcore Rules then I have an even larger advantage as you’re not able to stand toe-to-toe with me and go blow-for-blow with me and survive in a Hardcore Rules match. If the Roulette Wheel lands on a spot where there are no rules and we fight it out until only one of us can still stand up I’ll easily win. Hell, Alex, if the Roulette Wheel were to land on the stipulations that me, the Roulette Champion, has to wrestle blindfolded and with one arm tied behind my back, while you’re not required to be blindfolded and with one arm tied behind your back, I’ll still whup your ass and walk away as the Roulette Champion.

Bea:  That’s the way to feed the truth to Alexander Raven.

Bill:  Alexander for damn sure when I get done with you there’ll be no need for you to go to the bathroom and take a dump for a week because I’m going to beat the shit out of you! Don’t think I can do it? Then you’re damn sure not thinking!

Bea:  Bill you sure are fired up when it comes to defending the Roulette Championship.

Bill:  Even more so when I have to defeat Alexander Raven again. When Blaze of Glory X takes place I’ll defeat Raven and lay the claim that I defeated his pathetic ass twice in 56 days. Gotta suck to be Alexander Raven to take a loss to me twice while challenging for the Roulette Championship. Good thing I’m not Alexander Raven.

BILL BARNHART’S SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE GRAPHIC

Bill:  When you attend school, whether Elementary, Middle, or High School, you are taught how to find the answers. You don’t have teachers just handing you the answers. They teach you the skills to see an equation, situation, or event, and figure out the correct answer. Well, Alexander, I welcome you to Bill  Barnhart’s School of Hard Knocks. When you step into the ring with me you are the student and I’m your Master Teacher. The education session isn’t long so I have to get you to understand how to solve the equations and situations quickly. I already know you will fail to do the proper calculations and you’ll lose the match to me like you did in our previous match. As your Instructor in this match I’m not here to hand you all the answers. I’m not here to hand you half the answers. I’m not here to hand you any of the answers. I’m here to beat you down so hard that maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the future, you’ll enter a Championship match and be fully prepared for whatever might come your way during the match. Welcome to the Bill Barnhart School of Hard Knocks where I whack you with a stick and give you knots on your head in addition to your Diploma.

IRIS DOING IRIS THINGS

Iris gets up and walks into the other room. Curious to see what Iris is doing Bea walks to the other room to check on Iris. Bill is getting ready to continue his comments concerning his upcoming Roulette Championship match when Bea returns from the other room. We notice she has several magazines in her hand and Iris is following her back into the main area of the hotel room.

Bill:  Wow that was quick! What was Iris doing?

Bea:  She was flipping through the pages of these magazines.

Bill:  What’s wrong with Iris flipping through magazines?

Bea:  These are Cactus magazines. They are full of photos of Cactus plants.

Bill:  So it is a crime for Iris to look at photos of Cactus plants?

Bea:  Bill. . .these Cactus magazines are more than that. They’re for people, and I guess dogs like Iris, who want to have romantic fantasies about the Cactus. There are photos of Cactus in swimsuits lounging at the pool. There are photos of Cactus coming out of the shower with a towel wrapped around them. There’s more but I’m not going into those photos while we’re on camera. And to top it off I just noticed Cactus spines around her doggy bed. How in the hell did Cactus spines get in the room where her doggy bed is located?

Bill:  I guess you have to ask Iris.

Bea:  I figure either Pete the Cactus snuck into the room while we were out or he and Iris had some close encounters somewhere other than our hotel room and some of the spines stuck to her hair. What do you plan on doing about it?

Bill:  I’ll have a talk with Senor Vinnie and Pete the Cactus. I’m sure we’re not getting the entire story. To be fair I imagine Pete has doggy magazines with photos of English Bulldogs. Just a little bit of harmless stuff. I guess we can set up security cameras at home and when we’re in hotels to see if we can catch video of what Pete and Iris are doing when we’re not with them.

Bea rolls her eyes at Bill’s comments but she accepts his explanation and the actions they can take to try to catch Iris and Pete doing something they are not allowed to do. Bill returns his gaze into the camera.

YOU CAN’T HAVE POSSESSION OF MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHP

Bill:  No, Alexander, you can’t have possession of my Roulette Championship. Well, okay, that’s doesn’t mean a total ban on you having possession of my Roulette Championship but I’ll explain that to you and the viewers. Concerning you winning and taking possession of my Roulette Championship the answer is not only NO but HELL NO!!!  I’m going to defeat you and you have to live with that second loss to me. However, Raven, I’ll make an agreement with you if you’re a good boy and do what you’re told to do. If you want to temporarily hold my Roulette Championship in your hands I can make that arrangement for you. All you need to do is get a polishing cloth and clean and shine my Roulette Championship so it shines so brightly that people have to put on dark sunglasses to keep from having their eyes burned out from light reflecting off it. I’m willing to give you the assignment of being the official Roulette Championship cleaner and shiner. In your position as the official Roulette Championship cleaner and shiner you’re not permitted to place the Roulette Championship around your waist and pretend you’re Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion. Don’t think you could get away with doing that as there are security cameras everywhere. So if you wish to clean and shine my Roulette Championship we have an agreement. If I don’t hear from you I have many people waiting in line offering their services in that position.

Bea:  Damn! You sure are in one of those in-your-face moods Bill.

Bill:  Only because I have to face the same wrestler I already defeated in a successful Roulette Championship defense. I’m sure Management will soon figure a way to ensure my next challenger after Alexander Raven will be someone who can actually give me a good performance in our match. Oh well I can also wait for Hell to freeze over. . .HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Bea:  Bill you need to take a break as you’re too in-your-face right now. Iris you need to get back to your room and stop looking at suggestive photos of Cactus. I need to continue to play Referee around here to keep both of you in line. We’ve come to the closing comments for this presentation. Thanks for joining us today. Remember to come to Blaze of Glory X, or if you’re a long distance away to watch the even on television, so you’ll watch Bill successfully defend the Roulette Championship. . .

Bill:  . . .You mean MY Roulette Championship!

Bea:  Thanks for the correction Bill. Ahem. As I was saying either come to Blaze of Glory in person or watch it on television so you can watch Bill successful defend HIS Roulette Championship a second time against Alexander Raven. Remember I’ll be in Bill’s corner as his Manager and I’ll make sure nobody interferes in the match.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bill:  I’ll be done with my comments shortly but I need to clear something up for Alexander Raven and the other viewers. Just because our match is the first match on the Blaze of Glory X card doesn’t mean we’re a low-card no-interest boring match for the fans. Do you want to know why they placed our match as the first match to start off Blaze of Glory? Because Management knows I’m awesome and my performance in our match will set the tone for the rest of the matches at this event. They know the fans will be so shocked, amazed, and thrilled, to see me perform that their excitement will carry throughout Blaze of Glory all the way to the final match. But, Alex, before you think you’ll have anything to do with firing up the crowd in our opening match you need to sit back and shut the f*ck up! You’re nothing more than the target I’ll be destroying in our match. The fans will thrill to my outstanding wrestling abilities in the ring. The only thing they will be thrilled about concerning you is how badly I beat you down. I’m the Roulette Champion Wrestling God and you’re the sacrifice sent to me to devour and destroy. Damn your life sucks Alex!

Bea:  Well stated.

Bill:  Alexander there’s a saying that when you’re downwind of a pig farm you can smell the shit due to the wind blowing in your direction. Let me tell you something whelp. The other day while you were running your mouth talking nonsense bullshit and crap I was standing upwind from you and the stench from your lies came upwind and the smell was horrid. What the f*ck? You’re managing to talk a lot of shit but there’s a hell of a difference between talking shit and backing up the shit you say.

Bea:  You always back up what you say Bill.

Bill:  Alex there’s another thing I wish to admit publicly so that you’re fully informed and you understand that I say what I mean and mean what I say. With the current Sin City Wrestling male Roster there are three wrestlers I honestly don’t feel I could easily defeat. I’m not saying I could never defeat them because everyone can be defeated by someone. However since I’m an honest person, unlike you who is a liar, I admit that those three wrestlers would be the three toughest I’ve had to face since having to face my half-brother Chris Shipman. I assure you there’s no wrestler in the world today who is more disgusting, mean, vicious, evil, and violent, than my half-brother Chris Shipman. And with the fact that I’ve defeated my half-brother more times than he’s defeated me tells you that I can defeat the three wrestlers I’m speaking of in Sin City Wrestling. I’m sure, Raven, you want to know who those three wrestlers are right? I won’t tell you who those three are but I will tell you that you are not ten percent of what those three are.

Bea:  You’re being very generous stating Raven is ten percent of what those wrestlers are. In my eyes Alexander Raven isn’t one percent of what those three wrestlers are. Thanks for joining us today. See you at Blaze of Glory X on Sunday.

With Bill done with his comments Bea motions to the camera person they are done with their comments and the camera person cuts their camera feed and our screen goes dark.


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