Author Topic: Myra Rivers (c) v Sam Marlowe - Bombshell Internet championship.  (Read 283 times)

Offline Mark Ward

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Myra Rivers (c) v Sam Marlowe - Bombshell Internet championship.
« on: September 14, 2020, 03:47:30 PM »
Post all roleplays for this match here.
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Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon thee

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Offline Myra Rivers

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    • Myra Rivers
"Living in the Dark"
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2020, 11:56:42 PM »
The feeling that the business has passed you by and that you’re not good enough anymore…

It’s probably the worst feeling that any professional wrestler can ever have at any point in your career. When you reach this point, it feels like nothing can go right for you at all. You try so damn hard to overcompensate that you lose sight of why you decided to be part of the business in the first place. Every loss feels way more devastating than it should be and it drives you to the brink of your sanity in the worst case scenario to the point where all you want to do to stop the excruciating, psychological pain that you’re going through with this feeling is to just hang them up and never come back.

I’ve been there before. I’ve come across opponents that know that I’m experiencing it and as a result, they have me beaten before the bell even rings. It’s a terrible feeling when you know that you’re done for before your entrance music even hits.

So imagine how I feel… knowing that I’m about to defend my Bombshells Internet championship against someone that is going through the very thing I just described. It’s an extremely rare situation for me… even for as long as I’ve been in this business. My opponents would often run up the score on me and a younger me likely would’ve done the same thing. But I’m much older and wiser now… and preparing for this defense is going to be slightly tricky not knowing which Sam Marlowe I am going to get…

September 7, 2020

I had a printed copy of the letter that Samantha Marlowe wrote to Christina Rose prior to their match on Climax Control the night before. I had glanced at it, but inside the wellness room in the Saxon hotel, I was finally reading it for the first time while her match with Christina was going on. I was feeling quite sore from my victory over Seleana Zdunich the night before, but psychologically, I was feeling strong especially with that massive main event victory.

“This is deep…” I said out loud, knowing that my boyfriend Jason Schneider was in the room with me. He too had a copy of the letter. I was laser focused on the words on the page so I wasn’t gauging his reaction. “... Sam really wasn’t into it last night…”

I kept reading and as I read that letter that she wrote, I stopped thinking about her as a wrestler and thought more of her as a person. The words I was reading was hurting my heart quite a bit. Having been where Sam was at when she wrote that, I definitely wouldn’t wish that feeling upon anyone.

“Everything that she’s done and she’s shocked she’s still an SCW bombshell…” I said to Jason, who didn’t respond. “...all this talk about sinking into a valley and not knowing whether or not she’s going to get out.”

I sighed with sympathy as I folded up the letter and put it to the side for the time being. I observed Sam’s every move in her match with Christina and in my heart, I knew I wasn’t watching a wrestler that was ready to challenge for the Internet Championship at all.

“That’s got to be one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever read…”

My sympathy for Sam only grew when I saw Christina Rose beat her. Seeing this result caused me to shake my head and sigh.

“Am I really going to defend a championship against someone who questions if they should still be wrestling?” I asked myself in my head. In addition to sympathy, feelings of disappointment began to set in.

“Honestly…” I heard my boyfriend state as he shredded apart his copy of Sam’s letter to Christina and chucked the pieces of the letter in the trash. “...that’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read in my life.”

“Jay… seriously?”

“That just validates what I was saying before: that she DOESN’T deserve to face you for the Internet Championship.”

“You don’t get to decide that! I do!”

“Then what the fuck did I just read?” Jason asked me in a harsh, angry tone of voice. “She’s one of the most decorated women’s wrestlers in SCW history and she’s writing letters of woe-is-me? She’s crying about having no desire against Christina… questioning why she’s still wrestling… being surprised that she still has a job… crying about being ‘broken’... teasing a forfeit… how unenthusiastic she is about continuing… but she’s in the ring demanding title shots…”

“She’s going through plenty, Jay… it’s clear as hell…”

“The fact that you even have to DEFEND a potential challenger tells me everything that I need to know about this girl. It’s all pathetic to me honestly. You deserve a WAY better challenger than that and you know it! You should be defending the title against someone that… you know… isn’t writing pity party letters to her opponents asking why she’s still wrestling…”

I was annoyed quite a bit by Jason’s harsh words and lack of sympathy for Sam.

“Like you and I haven’t been through shit throughout our wrestling careers?” I reminded him.

“We did…” Jason admitted. “But I NEVER threw that kind of pity party! At this point, I’M a more worthy challenger for your title… and considering SCW doesn’t allow intergender matches and I haven’t wrestled regularly in more than four years, that’s saying a lot. She’s a potential challenger that wants your title… WHY are we feeling sorry for Sam Marlowe? Let her die in the grave that she’s digging for herself, Myra! Sam Marlowe’s confidence issues are NOT your problem. This is professional wrestling! You can’t be feeling sorry for someone…”

“You think I haven’t been in the same place that Sam is right now?” I asked Jason, who was definitely getting more annoyed with me. “You don’t remember all the times you tried to talk me out of retiring time and time again? Have you forgotten that at many points in my career, I felt worthless and just wanted to be DONE with this business?”

“Oh right… when you’ve Sam Marlowed yourself…”

“You’re REALLY going to make a verb out of her just to mock her?”

“I’m done with this conversation, Myra…” Jason stated to me. “I get that you can relate to her and that you’re sympathetic for her situation… but she put herself there. While you’re killing it in the main event, she’s wrestling with no desire at all against Christina Rose and getting beaten soundly. She doesn’t deserve that challenge… and you ought to rethink accepting that challenge of hers.”

“No…” I said emphatically. “I’m not doing that. I’m not going back on my word. I wouldn’t go easy on her because you’re not WRONG about her confidence issues not being my problem.. But you don’t need to be such an asshole about it…”

“I’m just being real with you Myra… and maybe it’s time you need to be real about this whole situation…”

Jason walked out of the wellness room leaving me alone and my sympathy for Sam Marlowe quickly gave way to feelings of frustration for how insensitive my boyfriend was just now. I walked over to a bench in the room, sat on it, and picked up my journal that I had left there. I hadn’t written an entry in it since prior to my match against Amber Ryan, but that was about to change. Putting the folded copy of Sam’s letter on the spiral of the journal and using it as a bookmark, I picked up the pen and began writing…

“Seeing Sam go through that…” I began to write… “...that’s rough. It has me thinking about my own journey and my own obstacles. The scary thing is that after losing to Bobbie Dahl, I could’ve easily been going down the same path as Sam and my career in SCW would be a hell of a lot different. I know at SOME point Sam completely lost her confidence… I just haven’t pinpointed it yet (I will). Bobbie could’ve been that point for me, but it wasn’t. All I know right now is the reason why I recovered from that and subsequently flourished and why Sam hasn’t recovered from her low point (whatever that may be) and is… you know… writing sad letters to Christina Rose is because I was strong enough to push through and give it my best when my big break opportunity against Amber came up…

Sadly, she wasn’t when the valley began for her…

The best way to prepare for an opponent going through what she’s going through right now is to remember what it’s like to be there… just to get inside their head and explore all possibilities of how they’re going to handle the challenge ahead. That being said… let’s talk about the darkest moment of my entire career… when I was about ready to give up in UWA three years ago… and by giving up… I mean REALLY giving up and reaching that rock bottom…”

I paused my writing, taking a deep sigh. A part of me felt scared about expressing the rock bottom I was about to express in writing because I was truly facing up to the biggest nadir I’d ever experienced in wrestling since my maternity retirement in 2013…

It began on a night in September… three years ago… in UWA…”

September 2017…

I can remember the confidence not flowing through me at all on the night of what I wouldn’t realize would be my last match in UWA. Jason was with me backstage at the event that night and I wasn’t looking at him.

“I hate this fucking place…” I thought to myself. “...it seems like nothing I do here is never good enough. No matter what I do, it seems like second tier is all I’ll ever be! This match tonight… against Red Rayne… I have to have it…”

“Myra…” Jason said to me, catching my attention. I looked at him and when his eyes locked with mine, he shook his head. “...this is a big opportunity for you going up against the sister of the person you want to destroy the most. If you beat Red Rayne… you solidify yourself as a world title contender. You get to send a HUGE message to Rachel! You get to make it known that YOU deserve a shot at the world title and not another X-Limits title shot that this bastard company is trying to shoehorn you in.”

“Yeah… I know…” I told him, not feeling it at all. “...beat the sister of my worst enemy… the person that has held me back from almost the day that I got here… send her a message… destroy her pathetic Ashes of Eden faction… then claim what I deserve… yeah… sure…”

“You don’t seem into it…” my future boyfriend said in concern. “Is that pathetic husband of yours dragging you down again?”

“He’s not pathetic and no Jay… that’s not it. It’s just… something about being here… something about wrestling tonight… it doesn’t feel right. I don’t know how to put it. This feels like an all or nothing match for me. I win this and I deliver a HUGE dent to Drew Bryant’s favorites… but if I lose… then that’s it…”

“What do you mean that’s it?”

“I mean that… if I don’t beat Red Rayne… I am never getting over the hump. If I don’t beat her, then there’s no way I could feasibly get back at Rachel Tatum Lee for all the SHIT she ever put me through… there’s no way I could ever be a threat to the world championship… I’ve GOT to have this! This match means EVERYTHING! I lose tonight and I’m nothing but a failure… everything that I’ve ever worked for in this business means NOTHING… I become NOTHING in UWA aside from being Rachel’s eternal bitch! ALL the pressure, all the odds… they’re against ME tonight!”

“...you’re not going to win…” Jason told me, surprising me with his vintage bluntness. “Your heart isn’t in it. I can see it in your eyes and read it in your body language that you’re about ready to give up and that you’re just looking for a reason….”

“Some friend YOU are…” I said with anger as I got up and left the scene, not wanting to hear what he had to say. Unfortunately, I should’ve listened because ultimately he would be right.

Later that night…

“I’m nothing…”

The tears were flowing after I had lost to Red Rayne on this cruel, September night. If that wasn’t harrowing enough, “Wake Me Up When September Ends” by Green Day was playing in the background at the bar that I was at with my sister Adrianna.

“That’s not true… you know that’s not true…”

“I don’t want to wrestle anymore sis…” I said as I drank out of what was my second bottle of wine that night and already feeling a slight inebriation. “...my passion for this is gone… this year has just been completely terrible to me… with losing the Global title I had in GCW earlier this year… with my vision of utopia in GCW being destroyed… with Andrea… ANDREA beating me in a match earlier this year… NOTHING has gone right for me this year, Adri! NOTHING!”

“But that doesn’t mean you just give up and stop wrestling!”

“Yes it does…” I said through my own tears and wine. “...I’m nothing, sis! I’m nothing! For almost two years now… again and again… in UWA… every time I get a chance to get to where I want to be… EVERY TIME… I just… I fail… I’m ALWAYS going to be Rachel’s bitch… I’m ALWAYS going to be second rate… always going to be cast aside for Drew’s favorite golden children… I’m going to wake up first thing tomorrow and… and be done! I can’t deal with this pain for another second…”

“I don’t get it, Myra.”

“You NEVER COULD, OKAY? You’ve NEVER been a wrestler! The closest you ever got was being on the sidelines! You don’t know what it’s like to have all the accolades in the world and suddenly nadir to the lowest valley you could POSSIBLY ask for! I started this year as a DOUBLE CHAMPION… alright? I had the WORLD at my fingertips and just 9 months later… it’s FUCKING GONE!!!!! When I came back… I did things DIFFERENT… instead of being the stupid nice girl… I decided to get back to the top by any means necessary, not giving a shit about anyone else but ME! It WORKED! I got back to the top where I belong in GCW but HERE? OH DON’T GET ME STARTED SISTER….”

Taking another swig of wine, Adrianna’s eyes widened with concern.

“...it started when I lost the X-Limits title the first time… when they just gave the fucking shot to someone who only drew with me and not actually beat me… then I got it back… and after that… they made me defend it against someone that just came back and that they just HANDED the fucking shot to for no reason other than… ya know… FAVORITISM… and I LOST IT AGAIN… then when I TRY to move on from that piece of shit championship… they try to make me wrestle their PRECIOUS FAVORITE for that title he beat me for and…”

“Myra… get it together…”

“UGH!  I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!”

In a moment of inebriated rage, I flipped the table over, spilling every drink on the table on my sister’s lap!

“WORST YEAR OF MY CAREER EVER!!!!!”

“No it’s not…” Adrianna tried to tell me through her own surprise.

“You both need to leave…” the approaching owner of the bar told the two of us.

“Right… we’ll leave…” Adrianna told him. “I’m so sorry about this…”

Adrianna had to help me stand up and leave the bar as it was pretty obvious who the designated driver was on this night of living in pure darkness.

Even later that night…

Huddled up in the corner of my hotel room, completely alone in the dark in more ways than one… I kept reflecting on the downward spiral that I had been on throughout the whole year.

“How many times have I had a chance to get to the next level in UWA and failed?” I asked myself. “At least five?” The loss I had suffered was clearly getting to me. “The way I’ve been treated… the way I’m constantly getting the short end of things again and again… the fact that no matter how hard I TRY, I can never get to where I want to be and I’m always stuck being second tier… if THAT… the fact that I can’t even beat the SISTER of my WORST enemy… it’s clear that I just don’t have it anymore… that tomorrow… I should put in my notices with UWA and GCW and I should just end this insufferable misery. All the shit the former has put me through…

They’ve done it…

That company has broken me…

I’m nothing… worth nothing… nothing will ever get better for me… I haven’t been happy in wrestling in years and I don’t think I ever will be again…”

September 7, 2020

I took a pause in what I was writing, with a cold chill going through my spine as I recalled that moment where I had bottomed out completely… where I felt nothing I did was ever going to be good enough again. I remember how shattered I was when the next day, I walked into UWA’s offices and quit and how it took my sister’s persuasion to keep me from doing the same with GCW.

“I can only imagine what Sam is going through right now… knowing how painful it is to be someone in her situation…”

I sighed, as I continued to write.

“With all the shit that UWA put me through, I don’t even know how I even wrestled another match in the business again. Wrestling there was far and away the most miserable time I ever had. Even though I was behaving like the bridge burning, selfish bitch that I was at the time, I went into UWA completely confident (arrogant?) in my own abilities to the point where I felt invincible. I had made an instant impact, taking out some big names… then I ran into a brick wall named Rachel Tatum Lee and her never ending posse that constantly monopolized the main event scene… and slowly chipped away at my confidence for more than a year as I failed again and again to get to where I wanted to be… often because they were the ones remaining on top at my expense.

When I reached my breaking point… when I wanted to retire… when I lost my desire to wrestle… when I sunk so low that I burned the bridge with UWA and never looked back… it was the emptiest, most harrowing feeling I ever felt since I came out of my maternity retirement in 2015.

So I get where Sam Marlowe is coming from when she wrote what she wrote to Christina. I know every thought pattern that goes through her head…

I just wish that she wasn’t beating herself down so bad and I can only imagine she’s doing so even worse with this loss to Christina. In her state of mind, there are three possibilities of how she’s going to approach a potential title match…

One… she’s going to keep mailing things in and she’s going to be ‘there, but not really there’.

Two… she’s going to find a sudden epiphany at some point and she’s going to be the Sam Marlowe that I’ve heard so much about.

Three… she’s going to approach the opportunity as a way to turn things around for her and take it as a ‘nothing to lose’ scenario.

Those are the true three outcomes of living in the dark…

Me personally? When I was where she is right now? It took me a long time to FULLY come out of the darkness. 2018 and 2019 got better for me as I competed in GCW and Carnage Wrestling during that time, but I had to break out in phases… first with remembering who I am as a wrestler and ditching my selfish ways… and second with learning how to deal with the adversity that said darkness constantly brought to you...

Phase one happened rather quickly…

And it wouldn’t be until my win over Amber Ryan where I finally ‘got it’...

Sam is extremely capable of doing against me what I did against Amber…

Which is why I have to treat her as the Sam that SCW knows and not the slumping Sam of 2020…”

At that point, I finished writing that journal entry knowing that I got everything on there about Sam’s situation and how I related to it so much. After that, I began to reflect not what it was like to live in the darkness… but the moment where I knew I was finally free from it… where I finally defeated the darkness and I knew I never had to worry about it coming back to plague me again.

That night of course… was the aforementioned night that I defeated Amber Ryan at Into the Void.

Into the Void…

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” I was asked by Jason as I was about to leave the hotel room for the Into the Void event.

“I’m going to be just fine, Jay. You don’t need to worry about me so much.”

“I’m just looking out for you…” he reminded me. “That loss to Bobbie had to sting… it had to be embarrassing going in there with all that confidence and losing to her…”

“It was embarrassing… I won’t lie about that…” I admitted. “But I’ve learned my lesson. Before, I would’ve let something like that get to me but the way I see it? I have to put it behind me. I have to put Carnage behind me. I have to put all the darkness and all the doubt and all the shit that I’ve gone through, much of it self-inflicted, in the past. That’s the only way I am going to succeed in Sin City Wrestling… and that’s how I’m going to beat Amber. There may not be many that believe that I can do it… but I believe… and that’s all that matters. I’m not going back into the dark just because I was embarrassed by Bobbie! I have to be strong about my adversity Jay… and to be strong… I have to fight my very best and NOT give up no matter how bleak things look…”

“Alright. I have faith in you Myra!”

Jason and I exchanged an embrace.

“Go out there and shock the world!”

I could only smile as we exchanged a quick kiss before I departed for Into the Void…

Following that match…

The tears were unreal as I walked through the curtains for the first time following my match with Amber Ryan. I wasn’t showing any emotion once I defeated her and walked up the ramp, but the tears came when I had a private moment to myself. These tears however, weren’t of despair… but of sheer joy. In my heart, I knew that I had finally figured out how to beat the darkness that I had lived in when it came to professional wrestling for years.

“This is the one…” I said to myself, collecting myself as I wiped away the tears. “...this is the victory that tells me what I need to know… that I AM capable of competing in this company… that I AM capable of defeating all of my internal doubts and keeping them away from me… that I AM capable of believing in myself and being strong enough to overcome any doubt and any ounce of darkness that comes my way! THIS is that win for me… THIS is my ‘never look back’ moment… and as special as this was… it’s only about to get better! Now that I’ve survived the darkness… now that I’ve overcome my doubts and fears… there’s no limit to what I am capable of…

I sighed, still feeling that joy of getting THE victory that FINALLY put me over the top…

The rest… considering the way my career has completely turned around for the better ever since the turning point that I ended up achieving on the night I beat Amber Ryan and overcame Hell at last… is history of course…

Living in the dark when it comes to this professional wrestling business of ours… it’s a very cruel, torturous experience. Hitting rock bottom and questioning whether you belong in professional wrestling, all while nothing seems to go right for you… it’s an incredibly difficult situation to overcome.

But when you DO overcome it… when you figure it out and pull yourself out of the darkest hell and the lowest valley and rise to be stronger and better than you were before… it’s the most INCREDIBLE feeling in the world… and I’m blessed that I’ve experienced that feeling and become stronger than ever.

I expect Sam Marlowe to do the same at some point… she’s too good of a wrestler not to… but will she be able to do so in time for Violent Conduct?

That remains to be seen…

September 19, 2020

The camera came on me as I was holding my Bombshells Internet Championship. I was standing in the balcony of my Saxon suite overlooking the skyline of Las Vegas, soaking in some of the bright lights of the city. I was definitely feeling confident despite the conrondorum that I was feeling about Samantha Marlowe and the fact that she was going to be coming into this match with potentially low confidence considering what she has been through lately. As sympathetic as I was for her situation, I knew that this was business and my feelings of sympathy gave way to feelings of opportunity as I began to express my thoughts.

“For a while, I didn’t know where to begin with you, Samantha Marlowe. But, I will start off by saying this: before I came to Sin City Wrestling, there was something about you that I admired and when I first got here a few months ago, you were extremely high on a list of Bombshells that I wanted to wrestle one on one against because I have great admiration and respect for everything that you’ve accomplished in your career here being a former world champion and being responsible for ending the dominant world title reign of Mikah a few years back and being one of the most decorated and successful Roulette champions male or female in Sin City Wrestling history. When I first heard about the fact that you wanted to challenge for my championship, I was completely floored in a good way! I became excited not just as a wrestler and as the Internet champion, but as one of the biggest fans in this company of your work! I know that this year has been incredibly difficult for you Sammy and I completely understand if there are any bombshells in the back that feel like they deserve this shot more than you do, but I overlooked all that. I overlooked the fact that you were gone for a while when things weren’t going so well for you. I overlooked the fact that Samantha Marlowe hasn’t quite BEEN Samantha Marlowe this year. I overlooked all that and accepted your challenge, hoping that the powers that be would listen and grant this match for the Internet Championship that is going to take place at Violent Conduct. The great news is that we both got our wish and I was nonetheless thrilled about this because I was looking forward to the challenge…

But then… you did something that had me worried… and I’m not talking about worried as in ‘you worry me as a challenger and I’m worried I’m going to lose the title to you being the threat that you are’... I’m talking about worried as ‘Am I going to get the woman that I want to face at Violent Conduct?’ What you did that worried me was everything regarding that match you had a couple of weeks ago against Christina Rose. I watched that interview you had that night prior to the match you had against her, talking about how you always show up week in and week out… talking about how you were looking forward to facing Christina Rose and the challenge that she brought… but… your WORDS prior to the match told a different story. You wrote that letter to Christina and it was a completely different story from what you were saying that night. When you wrote her that letter, you weren’t talking about how you always show up week in and week out and gave it your best… you were talking about how low you’ve sunk and how broken you are and you even teased the possibility of forfeiting the match to her because of all these doubts that were going on in your head. You weren’t talking about how you were looking forward to facing her as you did when the cameras were on and you talked about your match for the first time… you were talking about how you weren’t enthused to be facing her. The Sam that wrote that letter was completely different from the Sam that was conducting that interview. You gave it your best against Christina, I won’t deny you that… but at the end of the match, when you verbally submitted and handed Christina that victory… I saw a broken former champion who truly was experiencing so much doubt about herself…

Just from THAT all by itself, I’m concerned about your viability as a challenger. I’m wondering if I’m going to get THE Sam Marlowe that defeated Bobbie Dahl at High Stakes last year when she challenged her for the Roulette Championship… or if I’m going to get the Sam Marlowe who was seemingly an afterthought when Maki had defeated her recently. I’m wondering if I am going to get the Sam Marlowe that dethroned Mikah, a feat which was considered nearly impossible at the time, or if I’m going to get the Sam Marlowe that got pinned by Bobbie when she became the number one contender to the world championship. I KNOW that on credibility, ability and pedigree alone, you’re a worthy challenger… but for SOME reason… in 2020… you’ve fallen pretty damn hard. I’m not here to chastise you for losing your confidence and for writing that letter to Christina. I’m not going to chastise you for expressing that you feel like you’re at rock bottom and that you’re not sure if you even want to wrestle anymore… because for one… I’ve actually BEEN THERE BEFORE… I got to that point three years ago when it felt like NOTHING was ever going to go right for me… and secondly… I can’t say I blame you for being in that valley that you have expressed so intensely in that letter that you’re in…

Let’s face the facts here, Sammy… you and I both know exactly what did it… well I do anyway… I can pinpoint that very moment… that very match… that very night… where Samantha Marlowe suddenly wasn’t Samantha Marlowe… where this incredibly sad fall slowly began. Do you? Because I do… and it hurts me to even say this to you because of how much respect I have for you as a competitor, but I’ve never been one to sugar coat. I’m actually trying to help you because I DON’T want to be disappointed at Violent Conduct. I don’t want to face the Sam Marlowe that has struggled to find her way this year. I want the most decorated Roulette champion ever, damn it! I want you at your very best, Sam! That’s what I want… and that’s why I have to mention that ever since Candy defeated you for the Roulette Championship at the start of the year, you just haven’t been the Sam Marlowe that the Sin City Wrestling fans know and love. You probably didn’t realize it at the time, but when the young upstart defeated you and took that championship with you… that had to have been the moment where you began to question yourself and even that, I can understand because it’s CANDY… then an upstart newcomer… going up against Sam Freakin’ Marlowe… that was a title defense that you were SUPPOSED to win on paper and deep down you know that… but you didn’t… and that affected you, didn’t it?

It had to… because since then?

There was getting pinned by Bobbie in the four way that I mentioned earlier.

There was getting pinned by Candy again in a tag match…

There was My Bloody Valentine… and your FIRST opportunity to gain this championship and become a Grand Slam winner… and falling short in that. Imagine… you just LOST a title… and then a short while later, losing a world title contender’s match and then another title match in short order. I don’t care who you are… but going through that in quick succession will have SOME effect on your confidence.

Then you had a one on one title shot against Kate Steele… and you fell short again… after which you admitted the week after that being winless at that point in 2020 was getting to you. You got it together at Blaze of Glory when you defeated Jessie Salco… and not long after that, you disappeared for a while. I get it: take some time off… come back stronger… show the world who the fuck Sam Marlowe is… and it turned out GREAT for you at first… but since then… there’s the loss to Maki… there’s the loss to Christina… which probably gives them both the case of being a potential challenger to this championship after this event is over and now you’re questioning yourself and doubting yourself all over again going into that match with Christina. It’s no coincidence that you’ve gone through all of this ever since you lost the Roulette Championship to Candy and considering all of that, are you even going to be ready for this challenge against me? Don’t get me wrong, Sammy… I am sympathetic to your plight. I’ve BEEN through what you’ve been through this year. I’ve been down that road where I just wanted to give up and quit. I’ve had my moments where I wonder if things are ever going to get better. I totally get it Sam, but don’t expect me to take it easy on you.

Do not expect me to have any pity on you at Violent Conduct. I like you a hell of a lot and you’re one of my favorites in the locker room, but at the end of the day, I am going to wrestle you the way I expect you to be and I expect you to be THE Sam Marlowe that’s kicked so much ass, won a bunch of championships and has beaten the most successful bombshells this company has ever employed. I am training and preparing for this match as if that’s the Sam Marlowe I am going to get because everyone in this company knows what you’re capable of, you’ve proven it time and time again. I’m not going to let my guard down and go easy on you just because you recently exploited a loss of confidence in yourself in what I HOPE was a moment of weakness for you. If you ARE questioning yourself… if you ARE coming into this match feeling weak and unconfident… if you ARE coming into this match with that same darkness in your mind that you expressed in that letter than this is going to wind up being a championship match that neither of us want… not only are you going to lose, but I’m going to know that when I defeated you, I didn’t get you at your very best.

Yes, I’ve experienced similar to what you have… where I wanted to retire. But did I? No… because I felt like I had so much more to give to professional wrestling. Three years ago, when everything looked so bleak for me… when it seemed like I was done… when I was broken and beaten down constantly by one of the companies I used to wrestle for… I didn’t want to wrestle another match again… but did I give up? No. I invested in myself and decided to grow and evolve. Eventually, things got better for me because I never gave up and I never quit! I grinded to be better! I took care of myself psychologically in the best way possible. I learned to own up to my fuck ups and accept my shortcomings and be INSPIRED by my failures… not to run away from them as I had been doing over and over again throughout my career. If I came to Sin City Wrestling 2 to 3 years ago, there’s no fucking way I would’ve made it. Sure, I’ve only had ONE loss on my record, but that loss? That could’ve destroyed me. I could’ve made the same mistake I made before… the mistake you made before that match against Christina… and I could’ve let it get to me and I could’ve gone into my match against Amber Ryan feeling like a victim.

Except… I didn’t.

I could’ve added that loss to the pile of rocks in my bag that I had been carrying for years… not only did I not do that… but all those rocks went into the ocean. It kept me balanced, it kept me straight, and when I went in there against Amber, clean slate and all, I got the job done, proving that I learned from my mistakes.

THAT is what it took for me, Sammy… to finally overcome that darkness once and for all… that ONE match… because as you know, I’ve been on a tear ever since then. It’s as simple as that ONE big win that’s going to get you out of the darkness and have you back to being you again and I’ll be the first to admit that the win could very well come against me on Violent Conduct and being a Grand Slam champion would be more than enough…

The darkness isn’t as dark as you made it out to be Sammy… you CAN overcome what you’re going through… you WILL overcome what you’re going through… because whether you believe it or not, you ARE a very strong woman, stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for. All it takes is ONE big win for you and you’re out of the valley… unfortunately for you… that win ISN’T going to come against me. I believe in you Sammy… I know you’re going to give me everything you have… because that’s exactly what I am training for… but unfortunately, it’s too little, too late for you as far as this challenge is concerned. The nadir you expressed prior to the Christina match… it takes WAY more than a few weeks to overcome… trust me, I’ve been there. But there IS one thing that you ARE going to get out of this Sammy: a lesson.

You’re going to get a lesson on how to overcome all this and how you’re going to get out of the darkness… from the very Internet Champion that has been through what you’re going through and who has overcome it in the past. This lesson that you’re going to be taught at Violent Conduct is going to make you a champion again… even if it’s NOT against me… and it’s a lesson that I can’t wait to teach you because I WANT YOU to be successful again. I’m ROOTING FOR YOU to have that old success back… just… not against me…

Why? Because no matter what, I’ll always be a Sam Marlowe fan… and also… because the mark of a champion is helping her challengers improve and be better next time out no matter what. That’s my goal for this defense, Sammy… to remind you of the wrestler that you are… to help you pull through this darkness… to help you regain that spirit again… because as the representative of my division, I’m going to do all it takes for ANY challenger to come out of a title match against me BETTER than before… win or lose.

You don’t have to live in the dark anymore, Sammy…

Come Violent Conduct, I’m going to give you the keys to get out of there…

I took a sigh and a deep breath, maintaining my confidence, all while hoping that the Samantha Marlowe I wanted to face was the wrestler that plans on showing up at Violent Conduct.

Offline Sam Marlowe

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Re: Myra Rivers (c) v Sam Marlowe - Bombshell Internet championship.
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2020, 10:12:24 PM »
I did it, I totally went against type and I demanded a chance at the Bombshell Internet title held currently by Myra Rivers.

You may wonder just why I did something that I have never done before.  Something that I always swore that I wouldn’t do because I wanted to earn the title shot and be given it on merit, not saying that I deserved it.  As much as you think that I do.

Now I know that stepping up and actually putting it out there that I wanted to face the holder of this title was something that l thought long and hard of before I did it.  I know that everyone would then lump me in with the other bombshells that said they deserved a title shot.  It took a whole lot of gumption on my part to even bring the microphone to my lips and ask for the match but I did it. 

And Myra Rivers accepted!

What was I thinking…



The life long descent into madness…

Sam sits quietly for the most part, a fingertip resting just inside of her slightly open lips as she appears to be writing something in a notebook on her lap.  With her legs crossed, she is dressed comfortably in a pair of blue denim daisy dukes and a ripped and worn Mardi Gras shirt over a black tank top.  A soft hum can be heard as Sam puts down her pen and then picks up the book to look at what she had written.

Unknown to Sam, Colton had padded into the room and snuck up behind her where he is able to see the scrawl of the flowery handwriting of his girl.  Reading the first few words, he leans closer, his breath tickling at the neck of Sam which has her instantly pulling the book against her chest.

“Sammi, I already saw what you were writing,” says Colton as he moves around the end of the couch and then sits beside the redhead who is biting the inside of her cheek and debating on what to say to him.  “It’s still happening isn’t it darlin’?”

Sam turns to look at the concerned man beside her and offers him a ghost of a smile.  “If I tell ya that I am ok, y’all going to believe me?” she ponders which only earns her a glare.  “Fine,” she adds with a sigh.  “It is happenin’ and I don’t know what to do Camo.  I thought it was over when I moved out here but I can’t escape it.  I could be on top of the world and ready to conquer new things but …”

“When did she call?” he demands, anger creeping into his voice.  “I swear Sam, your daddy needs to do something about her.”

He pulls Sam against him, resting her head against his shoulder as he pulls the book from her and then opens it on the arm of the couch.  Turning enough to take in her face, Colton kisses the tip of her nose.  “I want you to forget what she has done and I want you to get in the right head space for your match at the supercard darlin’.  Was this why you phoned in your match last time?”

Afraid to respond, Sam only nods which causes a soft string of curses to escape the man holding her.  “Sam, you haven’t let Cyn get to you for the longest time, why now?” he asks.

Sam looks away from his eyes, once more her full bottom lip catches in her teeth.  Colton whispers her name looking for an answer which prompts her to begin to speak. 

“Cyn called after I issued my challenge to Myra Rivers and she just knows how to push my buttons and hit all my triggers.  She always has,” says a saddened redhead as she snuggles closer to Colton.  “It’s been going on since I was little…

A small redheaded girl can be seen jumping around an older redhead child who is holding up a doll out of the reach of the younger one.

“Cyn!” whines a very young Sam Marlowe.  “Daddy brought that for me and it’s MINE!”

“Nah uh,” is the reply.  “Daddy brought you nothing but found this in a trash can as a second thought.  So you don’t get the good toys.  I am the only one that Daddy and Mommy love.”

Knuckling her eyes as tears begin to flow, Sam continues to try and reach upward to save the doll.  Cyn smirks as she taunts the small girl.  Suddenly a voice can be heard.

“Cynthia Marlowe, you give that doll back to your sister,” a loud masculine voice is heard.  Both girls turn to see their father standing there with his arms crossed and an angry look on his face.  Cyn smirks as she lowers the doll where it is not seen by her father and holds it out by the head towards Sam who reaches out to pull it close only to have Cyn twist the head off and then let it drop with a soft ‘oops’.  Philip Marlowe moves towards the girls as Cyn turns a smile at her father. 

“Daddy, Sammi is soo not careful with her toys,” Cyn says with an innocent look on her face.  “You would think that she would like it better.”  After saying that, Cyn turns and pats Sam on the back and pouts at her.  “It was such a nice baby too.”

Sam’s eyes were still focused on the headless doll in her hand as Cyn moves to their father and taking his hand, she leads him towards the house, her voice raised to drown out the sobs of Sam as she drops to her knees on the grass.  A finger creeps into her mouth as she fights to stop crying.  “Daddy,” she whimpers not knowing that Cyn had dragged him off.  “I’m sorry Daddy.”


Colton nods over the head of Sam.  “I remember when we were kids.  You just made the junior baseball team, first girl to do that.  You were so excited about it.”

“I was.  It was something that no one had even considered.  I remember fighting for that try out and beating that other kid for the last place on the team.  I was riding high, best dang shortstop on the team I thought,” says Sam.  “I was good…helping win game after game until the city finals.  And then once more I was down the rabbit hole…”

A teen aged Sam Marlowe can be seen at bat, her eyes fixed on the opposing pitcher who winds up and delivers a pitch that Sam connects with.  The ball sails upward as she drops the bat and charges towards first base.  The ball is dropping quickly as she rounds the base and heads to second.  The outfielders collide as they chase the ball and the third base coach motions for Sam to go for third.  She makes it as the ball is thrown her way.  It sails over the third basemen’s glove.  Sam spares only a glance then charges homeward.  The fielder rushes to the ball and throws it home where the catcher blocks Homeplate.  Sam begins to slide as she tries to outpace the ball but the catcher is able to field the ball and tags her out.

In the car, Cyn Marlowe can be seen primping into the rearview mirror as the family are driving home.  Slumped in her own seat, Sam stares out the window.  “Get over yourself Sammi.  You knew it was going to be too good to be true that you of all people would score the winning run.  Anyone can see you don’t have what it takes,” offers Cyn with a smile, her voice pitched low enough that the conversation between their parents covered the comments. 

“Listen Cyn,” begins Sam only to have Cyn raise a hand and interrupt her tirade before it can actually start.

“I don’t want to listen to a loser like you.  I have way too much to keep me busy.  After all, I just made the cheerleading squad and from what Moms has told me, I am going to be the prettiest debutante of the season.  So compared to you, I have it all and you are just not in my league,” says Cyn as she slowly twists a curl around her finger and offers a sickly-sweet smile to a softly growling Sam. 

The car pulls up to the house and Sam slams her way out of the car and heads into the house and up the grand staircase in the main hall.  Her mother and Cyn enter behind her with Sam’s mother looking up at the now empty stairs.  “I wonder what bee got in her bonnet.  Cynthia, do you have any idea what might have gotten Samantha into such a tizzy?” asks their mother.

“I am sure Moms that I have no idea what made little Sammiwich so testy.  Maybe it is the fact that she lost the game for her team and she is angry at herself,” offers Cyn with a wide eyed look and a smile.  “You know how Sammi is.  She takes things way too hard on herself.  Maybe I should go and talk to her.”

Cyn moves towards the stairs only to be stopped by her mother who shakes her head.  “You have no time for that right now Cynthia, I have your debutante ball gown upstairs in my room.  We need to go and try it on to make sure that you are the only shinin’ star at the cotillion.”


A growl escapes from Colton as Sam sighs before beginning to speak.  “It has always been that way.  Cyn has messed me up all my life with her mental and emotional cruelty.  Sad part is that she has everyone convinced that she is only wanting to help me.  And if that was what she was doing, I would be alright with it.  But once I started in SCW, it just got worse.  She had failed and I was succeeding until she would get in my ear.”

“Don’t tell me that she…” begins Colton. 

“Okay darlin’ I won’t tell you but let’s just say that every title win was a fluke in her eyes and every title loss was only natural because when it came to clutch defenses, I would choke,” offers Sam as she let’s her hand drum on her thigh angrily.  Colton catches it and then lacing his fingers with hers, he pulls the hand up to kiss at it.

“Sammi, did Cyn call you or talk to you before your match against Christina?” he asks softly.

“She sure did Camo,” replies Sam.  “She said she couldn’t understand how in the hell I could consider challenging for the Bombshell Internet title seeing as I was on a downhill slide.  I thought that I proved her wrong but she has this capability to get under my skin and make me doubt myself.  Then she kept saying that Christina Rose was going to beat me so why did I even get in the ring with her.  And you saw how that happened…I beat myself by hitting a low that got in my head.”

“From now on Sam, I want you to ignore what your sister says,” orders Camo as he tilts the chin of Sam upward to look into her eyes.  “You are going to have a great match and you are going to give Myra the fight of her life and you are going to win that title!”

Sam smiles up at Colton who taps her lightly on the tip of her nose.  “Yes sir,” she replies teasingly.  Colton only laughs as he leans down to offer a kiss to the redhead as the book falls to the floor to lie flat with the words visible.  In bright blue ink, a signature can be seen.  The autograph there is Sam Marlowe…Bombshell Internet champion.



A microphone can be seen standing alone in a white space.  Bootheels can be heard approaching it as a familiar redhead appears, her hair pulled back by a pair of combs to cascade down her back in soft curls.  Dressed in a soft blue minidress that covers her body and a pair of worn black cowboy boots, Sam looks calm and confident as she moves to the microphone and reaches up to pull it towards herself.

Looking directly into the camera, she begins to speak.

[color=8fe0f7]Myra, first off I want to say thank you.  I bet you don’t hear that too much but from deep in my heart, I want to say thank you for a couple of things.  First, thank you for taking my challenge seriously.  Hellfire, you are the first person to actually do that.  If it had been anyone else, I would haven’t had heard the end of it.  How dare I with a record like I have even think I was worthy to challenge anyone, let alone the Bombshell Internet champion to a match. 

I get it, and after the life I had lived back home in Houston and with the dragon of a sister, or that is what Ben Jordan calls her, whispering her brand of poison in my ear, is it any wonder I am the way I am.  Years of emotional abuse and cruelty from a sister, it is still hard for me to fight my way out of the lows that she causes.  She has done quite the number on me and I don’t blame any of the bombshells for the foundation that she laid down for them.  That should have been my first clue that I needed to find confidence in myself.

And I did.  I got a shot at the World Bombshell championship and I took it with both hands and did something that no one to that point had.  I beat Mikah cleanly for the title.  Everyone, and I do mean everyone was saying that I was the underdog for that match.  Some little nobody being picked by the great Mikah who probably thought that I was an easy mark to beat.  Then at My Bloody Valentine, I stepped into the ring with her and something happened to me in that match.  I realized that I had the chance to be champion and that fueled me in my desire for the belt.  It gave me that little bit of umph to get the better of Mikah and take the title from her.

But that wasn’t enough.  I defended that title and thanks to interference I lost the title which gave everyone the ammunition to beat down on me about it.  Did I go into a valley of darkness…yes for all of five minutes.  Then I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and won it back only to have to face someone that faked the world out.  Crystal Hilton beat me for the title with no ill effects of the dog hair that I was covered with.  Guess faking being deathly allergic to dogs is a strategy.  But that title loss made history that everyone loved to rub in.  Shortest title reign for a Bombshell champion.  And everyone did and I will admit freely that I wanted to leave it all behind.  Hang it up and be done with it.

And then I had that period of jill of all trades, mistress of none when Christian Underwood made me do the most menial of tasks in punishment.  But instead of making me want to quit, it lit a fire in me and I worked each and every week to get back into the ring and finally I did.  And when I did, I earned my way to a title shot for the Roulette title and low and behold, won it.

Now, the Bombshell Roulette title is seen as a lower tier title and then it got elevated.  I played a little bit of that by setting records with the title.  I held that title proudly and for a while I was on a peak for the longest time.  No one could bring me down because no matter what they said, I was on top with the Roulette title and the history books.

Then after I lost it to Candy, I began a slide that I couldn’t get out of.  I ‘phoned it in’ for most of the time because I had gotten to a place of not caring.  Then you came to SCW and I have to say that seeing you lit a spark in me.  Wanting to make myself worthy to face you got me back into wanting to wrestle.  I knew that you were the one that I needed to face to bring me back to the winning ways I was known for. 
You are someone that I really respect and I want you to know that I am taking you so seriously in this match at Violent Conduct.  Which brings me to the second reason to thank you.
 
I managed to catch your promo.  I listened to you talk about how you respected me and that you have been in the same place that I have been in.  I took to heart what you said about how similar we are and I could only agree with each word you spoke. 

I was trained by Vixen Staggs and I have a lot to thank her for.  But listening to you and hearing all you have been through, makes me consider you someone that without knowing it, is mentoring me when I need it the most.  You are offering me not an excuse but a reason to turn it around.  You are giving me advice I can actually use and appreciate.  This is something that even Vixen couldn’t share with me because I don’t think that she has ever been in this position before. 

I have to let you know Myra that knowing that you are looking forward to this match as much as I am…that is something that has added to the fire for me.  To know that you are a fan, all I can say is that the feeling is mutual. 

However, that being said, I also have to warn you that I am coming for that title.  See that is the only active title that has eluded me.  And winning the Bombshell Internet title will cement my name in the record books as a grand slam champion.  And if I win that title, maybe it will silence the nay sayers.  Maybe it will silence the naysayer in my own mind. 

So I have said my thanks and I have given you my warning about the title.  The last thing I am going to say about it is that I am coming to that ring and I am going to leave it all in the ring.  Win, lose or draw, it will be an honor to face you.  Good luck on Sunday Myra.[/color]

With that comment, Sam lets the microphone go and with a smile to the camera, she turns and walks out of the view, the fading sounds of bootheels the last thing heard.

Offline Myra Rivers

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"Escaping the Shadows"
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2020, 11:58:32 PM »
September 24, 2020

Nobody said that escaping the darkness was going to be easy. There was a part of me that felt guilty, feeling like I was being harsh toward Samantha Marlowe in my previous promo. But my heart was in the right place and that fact alone was enough to suppress that guilt. Besides, I knew that when I was in that same darkness that Sam finds herself in these days, that it was incredibly difficult for me since it took so many years of trial and error, so many burned bridges and even hours of empowerment therapy at one point for me to finally get out of the darkness that had been weighing me down for so long.

Becoming the wrestler that I am from a psychological standpoint was a much harder, much longer journey than becoming the wrestler that I am from an accolades standpoint and I was thinking heavily about Sam when I stepped into a training wrestling ring in a gym that was five minutes walking distance from the Saxon hotel. I had just put down my stuff and I leaned against the corner, reflecting on my challenger, feeling whatever pain she may have been going through this entire year. My sympathies were with her, but that familiar fire was burning through me knowing that on Sunday, I had one job to do and that was to defeat her and remain the Internet Champion. I heard my phone buzz and I promptly picked it up from the corner. It was a message from Jason, my boyfriend. I opened it and I found myself disappointed.

“Sorry. I can’t make it today” he wrote me in a text. I merely rolled my eyes and put the phone back down as a result of having another reason to be annoyed at him lately considering his harsh, brutal stance and feelings about Sam. I wasn’t fretting about not having someone to train with as I had eyed the punching bags in the distance. But before I could make that move, I heard a familiar voice call to me…

“Hey…” I heard the voice of Andrea Hernandez say. I looked toward her as she entered. I was stunned to see that she had given herself a makeover but what surprised me more was a glum look of guilt on her face. She looked like she was ready to put in some training too.

“Hey…” I said back as she entered the ring.

“Myra, I just wanted to say I’m sorry…” she said with regret in her voice. “I should’ve never told you to not talk to me again and I should’ve never blown you off on TV…”

“Andrea, I get it…” I said, not being bothered at all. “...you were going through plenty. But, I bet you’re feeling better after beating Keira and this… makeover of yours… which is great by the way…”

“Thanks…” Andrea said with a smile. “...I know I’ve been acting out lately and I feel terrible about it… you were only trying to help me not go down the same path you did and I should’ve been better about it. I just… I can’t handle feedback for some reason…”

“We all go through it…” I reminded my protege.

“Are you okay?” Andrea asked me, realizing I was annoyed.

“I’m fine. It’s just Jay cancelled on me at the last minute. I was supposed to kick his ass…” I said with a laugh. “

“Hey, why don’t I train with you?” Andrea asked me. “I’ve always wanted that opportunity but… being what you were in GCW at the time… you never gave it to me.”

“You know… I don’t see why not…” I told Andrea. “Let’s do it.”

We both walked to the center of the ring and we locked up. Fighting against Andrea, even in a training scenario, I can feel her fire and her passion. She was giving me everything she had. But as this practice match went on, I was countering more and more of her high flying strikes and instead of adjusting, Andrea got frustrated and angry and she kept trying to force an offense that I knew all too well. Hurricanranas were reversed into powerbombs, moonsaults were blocked, lariats were countered into armdrags and it was just one of those moments where I was on point. I noticed that the more I countered Andrea’s offense, the angrier she got. When I ducked a spinning heel kick and subsequently countered with a Spirit Breaker, Andrea let out a burst of anger in the form of a frustrated grunt. I went to help her up, but she shoved me away.

“Andrea…”

“WHY can’t I figure you out today? What the fuck is wrong with me?” Andrea said in frustration.

“It’s just training… don’t take it so damn hard…”

“Everything I throw at you, you have an answer for! You need to stop that…”

“Stop what?”

“Showing  me up!”

“I’m not…”

Andrea sighed as she got up.

“I’m sorry… it’s just… I can’t take another reminder of how far I’ve fallen… how I’ve just become old news… how I can’t be happy anymore… how I’m nothing without my dad… how I’m just… going to let him down… how much of a flash in the pan I am…”

“Andrea… you need to stop…” I told her out of concern. “You need to quit beating yourself up. You’re just going to make things worse for yourself and one of two things are going to happen: you’re either going to lose all confidence in yourself or… you’re going to go down the same dark path that I did… hell… one might even directly feed into the other…”

“Why do you care so much?” she asked me.

“Let’s sit down…”

Andrea and I sat next to each other down near the corner, catching our breath.

“I know part of it is my fault…” I admitted to my protege “...but you’re far too good and far too strong to be beating yourself up so much… and that’s all you’ve been doing for months.”

“I know, I know… I’m reminding you of you…”

“More accurately, it’s like I’m facing Sam…” I paused as Andrea raised her eyebrows. “Now, I’m going to need you to listen to me for a while… okay? It’s finally time for that mentor-protege chat that’s years overdue. Do you know why I was what I was… when I was treating you like shit… when I told you that you wouldn’t amount to anything? It’s because I was in that phase where I would do nothing but beat myself up over the dumbest reasons. Losing a world title to an upstart? I was killing myself for losing to an opponent that I felt I should’ve beaten. Losing a match I dedicated to my unborn daughter and having the worst ending possible in PRW? I was beating myself up for letting someone I love down…”

“UWA…” Andrea reminded me, remembering that we had both gone through the same ringer in that hellhole.

“God yes…” I said. “Let me give you the full lowdown on that night in Seattle… when I beat myself up far too hard and never recovered from there…”

June 2017

Seattle, Washington.

UWA was hosting their flagship show Olympus in Seattle on this very night. I was reigning as the UWA X-Limits Champion and I was both miserable and frustrated.

“None of this is right…” I had told my ex-husband Adrian as he stood with me in the locker room. “I understand that I have to defend my title on the biggest show of the year. But against RICKY OCTAVIUS? REALLY? They just HANDED HIM the fucking shot for NO REASON! He just comes back from injury and he waltzes in and gets an instant title shot? BULLSHIT! It’s not fair, Adrian…”

“It’s not… I agree…” my ex-husband states. “...but that’s UWA for you…”

“I’ve tried SO HARD to concentrate on walking out of here with the title and getting MY MOMENT in this fucking company for once… but this BULLSHIT… I swear… I know that the powers that be are trying SO HARD to make Ricky the next best thing because he’s SUCH a management favorite but this is ridiculous! He doesn’t deserve this! Give me one reason why I shouldn’t just walk out of here, drop the title on the boss’s desk and just get the fuck out of here? You know how much pain I’m in, Adrian… especially with this company. I don’t know how much longer I can last here… this company is doing everything it can to shatter me… I swear…”

“I’m going to give you two reasons, Myra…” Adrian stated. “...the first reason? You’re BETTER THAN HIM!”

“Of course…” I said in response.

“You’re more experienced than him. You’ve actually done more in UWA than him. You’ve beaten him a couple of times before, so you can definitely do it again. Is he good? Sure! But this is someone that you beat nine times out of ten. You’ve been a world champion and he’s never going to amount to that no matter how much UWA tries to force him down the throat. He’s lesser competition! They literally gave him the chance because there was nobody else and that’s it. And the second reason… isn’t it obvious? Kimberly…”

“Right…” I told him, remembering my daughter who at that point was about three and a half years old. “...the most important piece of my world! I’ve let her down so many times and this match is for her. Seeing her again for the first time in an eternity… god, that was such a motivator because it reminded me who I’m fighting for. You’re right! With those two reasons, there’s no way I can lose! As much of an injustice as this is… I know that I can right this damn injustice… I’ve done it time and time again… and I’m going to tell UWA to REALLY shove it up their ass…”

“That’s the Myra that I know…” my ex-husband said.

We parted ways and I went into that match feeling like I had it in the bag… only…

Two hours later…

“Myra… I’m so sorry…” my ex-husband said as I sat completely empty and devastated. Leaning against the lockers in the room, with no X-Limits Championship to show for it, I felt like I was nothing but a ghost. “...I know that the way this whole thing turned out wasn’t fair…”

I was hardly listening to my ex-husband at this point.

“But… you’re going to bounce back from this!”

“...no…” I said back to him, much to his shock and surprise. “There’s no way…”

“Myra…”

“I haven’t won on a flagship show in six years… and that horrible streak continued tonight…” I said, my voice getting softer and sounding more defeated. “I dropped the ball… I fought someone that had just come back from injury, in a ladder match, less experienced than me, far inferior to me… someone that you said that I would beat 9 times out of 10… someone that I had even beaten a couple of times… it’s a match that I should’ve won… and I didn’t… I’m nothing… losing to someone like that...”

My ex-husband didn’t say a word.

“I’m never going to be the wrestler my mother was…” I said through my tears as I continued to beat myself down. “I’m always going to be the worst daughter ever… even worse… the worst MOTHER ever… I dedicate a match to my daughter… AGAIN… and I CAN’T WIN! I’m never going to get out of my mother’s shadow… I’m always going to be a fucking garbage mother… everything that my father ever said about me… he’s right…”

“Don’t you think you’re taking this too far?”

“I’m nothing… just like my father always thought I’d be… I’m just a screw up who can never win when it really counts. I’m over… my career is on its last legs… and I have nothing left. Every time I think I can’t get any more miserable in this fucking trash company… something ELSE has to go wrong to bury me further into the ground…”

“You can turn this around…” my ex tried in vain to say in encouragement.

“No… I can’t!”

“Myra…”

“Get away from me…”

“But…”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!” I screamed, completely surprising him and getting him to leave. I didn’t know it yet, but this was just the first domino to fall that would eventually lead to Adrian becoming my ex-husband, but most importantly in my own mind, there I was, in darkness. I felt like I was nothing more than a piece of trash at that point and with the way UWA treated me the entire time I was there, there was no reason for me to have any faith in myself at all. I spent the rest of the night in tears, feeling like I was nothing but a screw up that was always going to choke when it mattered the most.

“I will always be nothing…” I told myself, driving home my self-abuse even more. “Why can’t I EVER be anything in this business?”

Considering that I was gone from UWA a mere three months later, this event marked the time where I hated myself as a professional wrestler and myself as a person more than any time in my career before or since…

Present Day

“Wow…” Andrea said, completely floored by the story that I just told her. I could see somewhat of a fear in her eyes, likely realizing the consequences of a self-defeatist attitude. “I had no idea you were that much of a wreck back then… and it scares me because that could’ve been me…”

“What happened in Seattle with UWA… it was just another chapter of the repetitive self-loathing that I was feeling…” I told Andrea. “Everything I felt that night… it’s all stuff that Sam’s gone through lately. Losing a championship to a lesser opponent, Candy in this case, that she’d normally beat 8 or 9 times out of 10? Check. Feeling like she let her family down as well as feeling like she’s going to stay in someone’s shadow? Felt it with my mother, felt like I let down my daughter… she’s going through the same thing considering she keeps harping about her sister. Feeling like it’s over and there’s nothing left… you read that letter, right?”

“I did…” Andrea admitted. “It was… you know… I’m just not going to comment on it. I can relate to her myself on the family thing… but… damn…”

“It was a pattern with me for years, Andrea…” I admitted to her. “The peaks and valleys… they’ve been extreme for most of my career. When I’m experiencing the peaks… oh my god, greatest feeling in the world. It’s like I’m the best wrestler in the world and I’m suddenly invincible. Everything is going right. I’m pulling off winning streaks and beating big names left and right as I have ever since that loss to Bobbie Dahl, I’m recognized as one of the best and a force to be reckoned with. But the valleys… oh no… those were miserable… suddenly, nothing can go right for me, I’m losing to wrestlers that I’m supposed to be beating, I’m always losing to the big names… and not only do I feel like I’m over the hill, everyone else says it too….

“Sounds a lot like Sam…” Andrea stated.

“That’s because this year? That’s BEEN her. I get it… when you’re on a high… you’re super confident, but that confidence goes away the moment you experience a setback and you’re back to feeling sorry for yourself. You went through it too… your win over Candy… and then the battle royal. It’s hard, Andrea… the journey that I’ve been through… all the hurdles I’ve had to overcome to become what I am. When you add the training, the Indies, my injury spells and my maternity retirement to the career that I’ve had… mainstream since 2008 and all… then what you have is 18 years! It took me 18 years to FINALLY get this business. It took me so long to finally learn how to stop beating myself up over shortcomings. I don’t want you to take that long Andrea… not even HALF as long… and I’m going to do whatever it takes to help you… to help Sam in any way I can… because I never want anyone to go through the same thing that I did. Overcoming my own insecurities and self-doubts is the best thing that ever happened to me…”

“How?” Andrea asked. “How were you able to do it? I know you better than anyone else on the roster and the one loss that you do have on your record… you know… to Bobbie… that SHOULD HAVE affected you! That should’ve broken you. You should’ve gone into that match with Amber Ryan a complete void and someone that was about to be blown out of the building… but you didn’t… how?”

“You better listen to this next part, Andrea…” I began, maintaining my stern, confident demeanor. “...because this is how YOU are going to get out of the darkness yourself… because this worked for me… and I know it’ll work for you too… let me tell you about that night… when I lost to Bobbie… and when I finally figured it all out…”

May 11, 2020 (the day after CC268)

Losing to Bobbie initially stung me. While I knew that it was only my second match in SCW, it wasn’t nearly enough for me to prevent that loss from getting to me.

“Everywhere I’ve been…” I told my sister Adrianna as we met back in Miami. “I’d always go on some sort of tear or some sort of streak right out of the gate. It didn’t happen here. Two matches in and I’m already a loser…”

“Sis… don’t even start…” Adrianna responded.

“I know that going to SCW at my age… it’s an uphill battle in and of itself. Yesterday, I really wanted to do something GOOD for the business by beating Bobbie. I really wanted to make it a good Mother’s Day too. But… I lost to the biggest piece of immature SHIT on the Bombshells roster and it’s… it’s embarrassing… maybe I’m biting off more than I can chew by joining this company at 35 going on 36… if I can’t beat someone like Bobbie… then who the hell am I capable of beating? I don’t want to be a Jessie Salco level perennial loser…”

“And you won’t be…” Adrianna said. “But for fuck’s sake sis… it’s ONE loss! It’s just your second match back after you were out of the ring for what? Three months? It was always going to take you some time to get your legs back… and this IS the toughest company you’ve ever wrestled in.”

“I know but…”

“But NOTHING…” Adrianna interjected. “If you’re beating yourself up for this, stop it! Just stop it! You have no reason to! I know that a loss stings and you have every right to be bummed about it, but this has been your problem your entire career. You suffer one setback and the sky is falling and that needs to STOP! You do it ALL THE TIME! If you can’t be better about setbacks for yourself, at least be better about setbacks for Kimberly’s sake because she needs a strong mother to teach her that you can always get up whenever you’re knocked down. You’re done feeling sorry for yourself over losing to Bobbie. I get that she’s horrible and that losing to her is a pride bruiser… but enough! Do you need me to go down the list of all the times you self-destructed over ONE set back?”

“You know… just do it! Name off as many as you can. Yeah, it hurts… it hurts like HELL to lose to someone like that and it’s discouraging considering this setback happened so early in the hardest journey of my career but I can’t help it. It’s a bad habit of mine and… that empowerment therapy that cousin Cindy runs has been extremely helpful… but… UGH! Bad habits are SO hard to break…”

“Then I’ll help you break that habit, Myra. Let me run down the list.

Losing the two world titles that you had in PRW… it broke you and put you in a big slump both times…

There was losing to your biggest rival ever when you decided to retire to be a mom… that made you hate yourself as a person and that made you put your career above your own daughter…

There was UWA… and EVERYTHING about UWA… that nearly drove you to the point of retirement….

There was Carnage Wrestling and all the shit that happened there… when you lost the Ultraviolent Championship the first time and you felt like you were completely worthless and that you were never going to be a world champion again… and then when you left after you lost it the second time and you didn’t think you had one more run in you…

Every single time… Myra… every single time… every loss… every setback, you have this horrible habit of beating yourself up and hating yourself and that needs to stop! You’re not worthless over one loss. SCW isn’t too big of a hill for you just because you lost to someone like THAT! You’ve had a better career than 90 percent of professional wrestlers that have ever wrestled in this business and that’s not good enough for you? You’re STILL trying to prove yourself to a father that died 11 years ago? You’re STILL trying to get out of your mom’s shadow and trying to prove that you can be just as good as she was when you’ve long surpassed her? You’re STILL not happy with yourself as a wrestler even with all you’ve done? 18 championships! 18! Do you know how many wrestlers don’t even survive long enough to even have 18 TITLE SHOTS?”

“Sis… you only just found out you were pregnant, I don’t want you to…”

“Am I right, or am I right?”

I took a moment to soak in every word that my sister had just said and it wasn’t long before that empowerment therapy paid off in a big way when I nodded my head and snapped out of my brief little funk that my loss to Bobbie had caused me.

“You’re right… I need to stop doing this to myself. I had a moment of weakness… and I’m sorry…”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. You want to apologize to someone, look in the mirror… look in the mirror, forgive, and let go… and start all over again. I know you’ve been through the ringer and through hell time and time again over your long career… but it’s time to move on and let go…”

Adrianna walked away from me and I was left shocked. I knew she was right and at this point, any opportunity to beat myself up over that loss to Bobbie had disappeared. For the following two days, I had plenty to think about… and two days later, I finally did the one thing that allowed me to escape the darkness of my own past…

May 13, 2020

“I’m sorry…” I said to myself in the mirror, feeling genuinely guilty. “I’m sorry for all the years that I psychologically beat you down over your shortcomings. I’m sorry that I haven’t appreciated you enough for everything you’ve been able to accomplish. I’m sorry for every single time I ever said that I should be done with this business and that we should just give up and not wrestle anymore. I’m sorry for all the bridges that have been burned because of all the times we’ve been broken down and beaten up and feeling sorry for ourselves. I want to move forward. I want Sin City Wrestling to be different. I don’t want to suffer anymore. What I want is an inner peace that I’ve never had before about this business. I also want you to know that I forgive you for all of your shortcomings.

I forgive you for all those times that you had lost a big match.

I forgive you for all those times that you failed in a big way.

Most importantly, I forgive you for that time in your career where you lost it all, took out your insecurities on everyone, became one of the most hated women in wrestling, betrayed every moral and value you were ever taught growing up and through your wrestling training. You are enough… and I want you to know that. I know that Sunday didn’t go as you wanted, but that’s okay. It was one stumble, it was one setback! You can overcome this! You WILL overcome this! From this point on, I vow to be so much nicer to you. I will never, ever beat you down or consider you worthless over a setback ever again!

It’s time that we start over on a clean slate and no longer allow the past to burden us. We can allow it to teach us… we can allow it to motivate us… but it will never burden us again! Let’s throw all those rocks in the ocean and have a clean basket…

Let’s start over…

Let’s do something special…

And let’s end the wrestling journey on the brightest note that we can…

Alright?”

After talking to myself in the mirror, I certainly felt empowered and it was at this point, that the loss to Bobbie was basically a faded memory that wasn’t sticking in my mind anymore. The darkness of my past was starting to fade away. It was at that moment when I realized that I had finally escaped the shadows that had burdened me for my whole career. Of course, I didn’t realize the subsequent effect it would have on my career, but ever since this moment where I cleaned the slate with myself and forgave myself for all of my shortcomings and for all of the times I ever beat myself up over the most daunting setbacks I ever faced, I’ve felt so much better about myself… and this burden being gone has certainly been a factor in regards to my success in SCW ever since…

September 24, 2020

“I’m blessed Andrea…” I told her as she seemed inspired by my story. “...there have been so many times where my career could’ve ended. I’m so blessed that after everything, I still get to do something that I love. I’m so lucky that through it all, I’m strong enough to pull through not just to get out of that darkness… but also to be at my very best… even now. Sometimes, I swear that I’m the luckiest wrestler in the world to even be doing this. You can overcome this too… I believe in you.”

“Why?” Andrea asked. “Why do you invest so much in trying to help me… to help Sam…?”

“I want to give back… simple as that. I want to keep you from going down the same path and I’m confident that I’ve been able to do that…”

“You have…” Andrea says. “I get it now! Thank you so much! I promise you and I swear on my dad’s grave that I will NEVER, EVER go down the same path.”

Andrea and I gave each other a brief embrace before she slid out of the ring. I reflected on my own journey after that for a little bit before I started to focus on Samantha Marlowe again. I realized that our journeys definitely were similar. Once I set up the camera near the punching bags, I realized even more how lucky I was that I was not only STILL wrestling, but doing so well. I realized how fortunate I was that I was no longer living in the dark… but at the same time… I also realized how much Sam was still living in it…

I turned on my camera and began to express my thoughts for Violent Conduct one more time…

“Sammy… you’ve probably heard the words that I’ve had to say by now. I hope that you’ve taken them well and that they help you in some way because in none of that, I ever meant to be harsh. I know I’ve said this to Kate in the past, but you do remind me so much of me… even more so than Kate did. In fact, if we met earlier in our lives, I have a feeling that we’d not only be the closest of friends, but gosh, maybe even surrogate sisters. That’s how much respect that I have for you and it hurts to see someone of your caliber suffer as much as she has. It felt like a punch in the gut when I read that letter that you wrote to Christina. Like I said before, I get it. But here’s a couple of questions that I want to pose to you, Sam. You’ve had an amazing career here in Sin City Wrestling. You’ve done more than most bombshells could ever dream of doing whenever you walk in the door. The first question that I have to ask you is, why do you have to beat yourself up so much? I get that valleys and slumps happen and I totally understand that there was that ‘Sam Marlowe is past your prime’ talk in the locker room when you went on that post-Candy fee fall. I get that all of that talk can get very grating backstage. You look at a bombshell like Bea Barnhart, for example. What’s her win-loss record? How many times has she gone in that ring and failed? How many opportunities has she had that she has blown? And yet… every single time she’s in that ring, she fights her heart out.

Every single time she cuts a promo, she’s cocky, she’s confident, and she’s got that ‘I’ve got this attitude’ no matter how many times that girl falls short.

You look at a bombshell like Mercedes Vargas. Do you realize how often she gets heat from the other women in the locker room? Gosh, you hear ‘Mercedes is past her prime’ over and over and over again and it’s basically GOSPEL at this point! Yeah, Mercedes has more losses in her career than she has wins… but she has a resume no matter how many people want to downplay it with their ‘what have you done for me lately’ mentality. No matter how many losses she racks up, Mercedes puts the camera on and she still acts like she’s the shit… you know why? Because SHE knows that nobody can take her resume away from her and that gives her confidence. Albeit… there’s the flipside of her just resting on her accomplishments and that’s not good… but you see what I mean?

It’s that attitude… minus the resting on the laurels, that you need to carry going forward.

‘Yeah, I’ve fallen on hard times, but I’m still Sam Marlowe, damn it!’

Again, I get it. I used to beat myself up ALL the time. Every time I suffered a big setback, I was always the one that was feeling like a worthless piece of shit because I TOLD MYSELF I was a worthless piece of shit. Nine years ago in PRW… when I was reigning as a tag team champion… I had won a match on PRW’s flagship show… but my match on the card wasn’t a semi-main event or a main event… it was an upper midcard match against a never was who wasted her potential and even though I WON… I beat myself up because I looked at where I was a year prior and I felt like I was declining. Seven years ago… when I lost to the biggest bitch I’ve ever met in my career on PRW’s last show… when I failed to become a world champion in dedication to my unborn daughter… everything that I had accomplished in PRW suddenly didn’t matter to me anymore and I flushed it down the toilet.

Three years ago… UWA… it didn’t matter to me that I had been a world champion in GCW just seven months prior to my departure. It didn’t matter that at that point, I had been a 15 time champion that had won 5 titles in 2 years since returning from maternity retirement… I flushed it down the river because I was beating myself up over the most miserable experience of my career. Just earlier this year with Carnage, it didn’t matter to me that I won 3 titles there, including 2 Ultraviolent titles, I was beating myself down and calling myself a piece of shit because I never won the world title there. I took ALL of my successes for granted over something that I never had… and it was STUPID of me… I was being so UNGRATEFUL! I was taking EVERYTHING I had for granted…

And Sammy… I know it wasn’t your heart’s intent… but when you wrote that letter to Christina, you did the same thing… not directly, not intentionally… and I’m damn sure not saying that to invalidate your feelings because you DID have a valid reason to feel the way you did… you took your whole career for granted. You weren’t seeing the big picture. Hard times happen, Sammy, but they shouldn’t break you. I know that when you expressed those feelings, you weren’t thinking of yourself as the wrestler that won the Roulette title 4 times and that ended Mikah’s dominance… you were thinking of yourself as the wrestler that lost her title to Candy and got pinned by her twice. Your biggest weakness as a professional wrestler is the same one that I once had: a lack of trust in oneself. For years, I wallowed in misery, feeling like a victim, because I didn’t love myself enough… because I didn’t trust myself enough… I’d always have mood swings of being high one night, feeling like I’m on top of the world, then feeling like a worthless piece of shit and wanting to retire the next night. You’ve done that recently, Sam. You came back, you racked up a few wins, and that confident, bubbly Sam Marlowe was back and it was a joy to see. You were riding a high wave and hell, I was happy for you because of what you had been through earlier in the year.

...and then Maki happened…

You face her, she beats you, you’re back to square one and seemingly all of that progress that you had made since coming back doesn’t seem to mean anything anymore. Your emotions swung from feeling like yourself again, to feeling like you were worthless and needed to retire… and all it took was ONE MATCH, ONE LOSS for you to feel that way and for you to be driven to write apology letters to your opponents. And that, Sam? That hurts me to see because you and I both know that you’re better than that. I TOTALLY get the idea of staying motivated and not being complacent and continuing to push yourself, but at the same time, you’re telling Maki a few weeks back that you have to beat her. You’re talking about how you have a strong desire to prove yourself. That one line right there… that right there tells the world that Sam Marlowe hasn’t proven herself… when she HAS! Look at your resume! Reflect on everything that you’ve done in this company! You HAVE proven yourself… and it’s not even close! Someone that has done as much as she has still feels like she needs to prove herself… to WHOM? Not to me! Not to many people in this locker room. I understand, Sammy… you need to prove yourself… to yourself… for all that you’ve done, you’re still stuck in a mindset that may go back to childhood of feeling like you’re not good enough for someone. For all that you’ve done, you’ve yet to learn how to fully trust and love yourself because if you DID fully trust and love yourself as a wrestler and as a person… you wouldn’t be feeling the need to prove yourself at all! You’d be going into this match, and any other match, with an ‘I’ve got this’ attitude… with the attitude of ‘I’m Sam fucking Marlowe and there ain’t an opponent, a match or a loss that’s going to tell me otherwise’.

If you really trusted and loved yourself enough… you wouldn’t be talking about your sister in just about every single promo. With that match against Maki, you’re talking about how you want to prove to your sister that you aren’t the choke artist she says you are. Why do you need to prove that to her? Why do you have to focus on her saying that you’re a choke artist and proving that wrong when time and time again, you’ve proven that you’re not? I even caught your vlog when you were going up against Daniela Rodgers and there you go again with your sister… mentioning that you were on a losing streak and mentioning that your sister would be saying that you should be contemplating retirement over a losing streak. I know that you entered this company and became part of this business to step out of her shadow… and from someone that’s the daughter of a wrestler in her own right I TOTALLY relate to that… and you’ve DONE that… you’re not only out of her shadow, but honey, you’re so far away from that shadow you’ve almost walked around the world on your own two feet from it. I get that she’s your sister and all, but WHY is she even RELEVANT? Why is it that her words… her thoughts… why do they matter? Why do you worry about what she thinks?

Right, it’s the lack of trust in oneself. If you did trust yourself and love yourself better, you wouldn’t even think about your sister anymore. You wouldn’t be talking about wanting to prove that you deserve to be here in SCW… when you already have, in spades. You wouldn’t be talking about wanting to prove yourself to naysayers. And as someone that has been down the road that you’re on right now and knowing how that all feels… I’m really torn with how I want to treat you right now. There’s part of me that wants to give you a big, giant hug and do everything that I can for you to push you to be stronger and better… and there’s also a part of me that wants to beat the holy shit out of you… for the same purpose… to be stronger and better. It’s out of a place of love, either way… but unfortunately, when it comes to Violent Conduct, it’ll have to be the latter and trust me when I say that it’s a little hard for me to do so. I want to beat you and remain the Internet champion, but I don’t want to be a cause of you spiraling further into the dark then you already have. I can’t help that, I guess. I want you to look at my recent big wins, I want you to look at the opponents that I faced. I want you to hear about the attitude that I would’ve taken pre-SCW versus the attitude I actually took. I want you to hear the DIFFERENCE… and I hope to god when you hear this… you get it.

Into the Void. I could’ve gone into that match with Amber feeling like a victim and putting any desire for ‘revenge’ about Carnage Wrestling ahead of what really matters.

Old Myra would’ve said “I have to prove Carnage wrong by beating their world champion! I have to get my revenge! Without it, I’ll never get over it and I’ll never amount to anything in SCW.”

What I actually said? “It’s not about Carnage… it’s about going in there and giving it my best knowing that even if I lose… I’m still Myra… I’m still the wrestler that’s won 18 championships! It’s only my 3rd match in SCW… but win or lose… my future is bright because of this experience.”

Then there’s my match against Alicia…

Old Myra would’ve said “It’s Alicia… I HAVE to prove myself… but nobody thinks I can win! Nobody has faith in me! I have to go in there and prove everyone wrong! If I don’t… then they’ll be proven right and I really will be out of touch…”

What I actually said? “Alicia is going to be one hell of an opponent, but I’m going to focus on giving it everything I have! I know I can hang with her no matter the outcome and I’m going to make sure I give an inspiring performance!”

My title challenge with Kate…

Old Myra would’ve treated the match just like Kate did… with wanting to put her down, with wanting to ‘bury her’, with taking everything Kate said to me so personally and losing focus on what matters.

What actually happened was that I was calm, cool, collective and I focused on the task at hand while Kate was high strung and worrying about this, worrying about that, beating herself up… being TOO focused and driven on other things and breaking records and such… and that’s why I won.

My title defense against Kate…

Old Myra? “It’s not FAIR! Why do I have to defend my title so soon? UGH! Now I HAVE to win or else I’m just a fluke that got lucky ONE time in ONE last moment of glory”

Me, now? “Alright. Let’s do this! I know I can beat her again… even if she has learned her lesson. Even if she wins, I still proved that I can be a force in this company.”

Kate, of course, was still high strung.

Do you get it now, Sammy? Do you see how attitude makes all the difference in the world? Do you understand how trusting and loving yourself and being secure with yourself in the face of adversity and taking the approach I have taken to every single one of those wins suddenly turns you from the wrestler that’s on a six match losing streak to a wrestler that’s winning six in a row? I’ve just illustrated why I’m going to win at Violent Conduct…

I’m going to win because I trust myself and believe in myself more than you do with yourself. I’m going to remain the SCW Bombshells Internet Champion because after so many years in this business, I’m finally in the prime of my career. You on the other hand… worrying for months and months about being past your prime… you’ve never even REACHED your prime. The fact of the matter is, Sammy… in this business… prime means so much more than collecting championships… prime is doing what you love in that ring, being so damn good at it, and getting to the point where you KNOW that NOBODY can EVER define you and that no matter how hard others try to bring you down, that they’re already wrong and that you don’t NEED to prove them wrong! Being a wrestler in her prime is being successful in both aspects of the game: winning the big matches and being a champion and shining in the spotlight… and mastering the psychological aspect of the business… in finding that zen that prevents you from EVER falling back into the darkness!

You’re not there yet psychologically, Sammy.

You will be!

At Violent Conduct, I’m going to do everything to push you to be there psychologically and for you to understand what it means to be a true wrestler in this business and to understand what it means to trust yourself in that ring.

I’ve escaped the shadows that plagued me for so long, Sammy. Sunday? I’m going to help you do the same by beating you and shining that light bulb in your head that makes you go “I get it now… I get what I need to be in this business”...

Best of luck to you, Sam Marlowe.

The lesson you’re about to learn is going to be harsh and it’s going to be painful… but I promise you… you’re going to be so much better for it!

At this point, having said all I needed to say, I shut off the camera feeling not just confident in my chances to retain the Internet Championship at Violent Conduct, but also confident in my ability to teach Sam Marlowe exactly the lesson she needs to escape the shadows that have plagued her for her entire career.