Author Topic: Rats From The Past rp 2, full collab with Chris Page  (Read 895 times)

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Rats From The Past rp 2, full collab with Chris Page
« on: March 24, 2023, 07:23:49 AM »

The Rats From The Past = Part Two
 
The scene cuts back to Melissa and “Chronic” Chris Page, who is sitting at a local fast-food restaurant while discussing how to catch their impersonators as they enjoy eating their lunch.
 
MELISSA: Goth is going to kill me if he knew that I was eating such unhealthy food.
 
Chris Page raises an eyebrow while trying to remove some meat between his teeth with a toothpick.
 
CHRIS PAGE: You do know that a cow burger from Moo moos is the food from the Gods right???
 
This causes Melissa to burst out in laughter as the two have a personal conversation for a few moments before turning their attention to their Milkshakes. In the meantime we notice the door open from the Moo Moo’s as it causing a cow moo to be heard through the speakers as a twenty-year-old kid walks in, he walks straight towards the employee who takes orders and starts to look around before taking his order
 
MOO MOO EMPLOYEE: May I take your order sir??
 
The kid looks at the options on the screens above them before returning to the employee and nodding his head.
 
CUSTOMER: I would like a cow burger, some fries, and a cow shake, please.
 
The employee starts to type in the order on his computer as he starts to talk to himself.
 
MOO MOO EMPLOYEE: God, I hate this song.
 
The employee is referring to a song from Cold Play that is playing on the jukebox at the other end of the restaurant. He charges the customer, who hands him the money as we see Chris Page walk off to the jukebox and looks at the records that he can choose from.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Oh, this is a good one.
 
Chris Page enters some money into the slot and pushes in on a combination as the Cold Play record is being replaced by a different record. Chris turns his attention towards Melissa and yells through the entire establishment.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Hey Melissa!! I bet you for $20,000 that you do not know the name of this song.
 
We see Melissa lift her head as she eats her burger while listening to the built up of music, as we start to recognize the song “Goodbye Horses’ by Q Lazarus, mostly known from the part in the Silence Of The Lambs movie as Chris Page starts to dance in front of the jukebox. He pulls off his best Buffalo Bill moves as the entire attention of the establishment is locked firmly on the man with moves like Jagger.
 
MELISSA: Damnit Chirs!!! Next time if you want to wager something with me, make at least sure that it’s from this century okay!!!
 
She says with a disgruntled look on her face as she places a $20 note on the table while watching Chris continuing his dance. The camera zooms in on him as he starts to pull something out of his jacket, what turns out to be some lip gloss and he starts to put some of it on his lips. Chris pivots his attention toward the employee behind the counter as he starts sashaying toward the counter just as the chorus of the track kicks in.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Goodbye horses……
 
He turns around and is now facing Melissa, still rubbing his lips with the lip gloss which causes her to laugh at him while continuing to eat her burger.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Would you F*** me??
 
Chris spins around to the patrons at the next table while we see Melissa raise an eyebrow after hearing the words coming out of the mouth of Chris Page, looking worried about the situation.
 
MELISSA: Gerrit told me about this scene, I need to stop this before it gets out of hand.
 
CHRIS PAGE: I’d f*** me so… WHAT THE???
 
Melissa pushes Chris Page back into his seat while still being midsentence of the classic Silence of the Lambs scene just as Chris is about to expose his solid eight-pack of abs that would make James Raven blush.
 
CHRIS PAGE: What did you do that for???
 
Melissa rolls her eyes as she shakes her head.
 
MELISSA: Why can’t you just pick any normal movie like 50 first dates or something???
 
This causes Chris to look at her with a dumbfounded look on his face before grabbing the now slowly getting colder burger as he takes a bite from it and starts to chew
 
CHRIS PAGE: You do know that this was a classic right??? And THEY enjoyed it.

Chris turns and points to the patrons of the establishment and the crew while the track continues to play in the background. None of which give off any impression they’re enjoying anything.
 
MELISSA: Did your wife never tell you to not talk with your mouth full???
 
Chris’s face starts to turn a red tint while he remains silent before taking a final bite from his burger. The two continue to eat for a bit before Melissa grabs a napkin to clean her mouth and takes a sip from her cow shake.
 
MELISSA: So what do we know about these imposters???
 
Chris wipes his mouth, grabs a notebook, and starts to read out loud what they had found out so far from the ones that pretend to be them.

CHRIS PAGE: Okay, so far what we do know is that they are wearing wrestling clothing that looks like ours, but does not look like us. Secondly, they are chasing each other around everywhere possible. Oh and they create havoc everywhere they go, at least that’s something that neither of us would do.
 
Both Chris and Melissa turn their attention toward the camera and give it a quick smile before turning their attention back toward each other.
 
MELISSA: It’s not much I have to agree, but somewhere there has to be a lead that should be telling us something.
 
Melissa grabs her cell phone and starts to watch the clip that Pussy Willow had shown her earlier in the day. The vid shows a few glimpses of the two impersonators, but it isn’t as clear enough to figure out who they truly are.
 
MELISSA: It’s a shame that we couldn’t get a clear view of them from the front.
 
Melissa starts to watch the clip over again as we suddenly hear a news anchor talk over the radio about a news item.
 
NEWS REPORTER: Latest news, to promote the upcoming Climax Control in our beautiful city of Kelowna is the opportunity to meet one of your favorite wrestling stars. And to the icing on the cake is the opportunity to meet the team of Chronic Chris Page and Melissa from The Saviors and CCPE fame.

CHRIS PAGE: Wait what?

Chris turns his head toward Melissa.

CHRIS PAGE: I didn’t agree to a meet and greet, did you?

Melissa simply shakes her head no and seemingly simultaneously light bulbs go off over their heads. Chris glances up at the one over his head while pointing up at it.

CHRIS PAGE: Those bastards!

Both Page and Melissa look at each other before dropping the remainder of whatever it was that they were eating or drinking and running out of the fast food restaurant. Fading outside the storefront-style doors Melissa suddenly puts on the brakes while Chris continues to jog until…

MELISSA: WAIT!

Chris stops and spins around facing Melissa.

MELISSA: We don’t know where they are at.

They return to the lobby and Chris immediately goes right back into his homage to Buffalo Bill while Melissa listens to the radio report.
 
NEWS REPORTER: All you have to do is to go to our local mall in downtown Kelowna, but we urge you to be quick because there’s only a limited amount of tickets left.
 
The camera turns towards the door, and we notice that both Melissa and Chris Page have fled the fast food restaurant and are looking for transportation to head to the downtown mall.
 
30 minutes later
 
Finally, Melissa and Chris Page manage to arrive at the mall after earning a ride with a nun in a too-small car. There the twosome walk towards the mall, noticing a rather large line standing there while waiting patiently to enter the mall.
 
MELISSA: Hmm, fuck. We won’t be able to enter that mall in time.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Wait, they are in line to see SCW superstars right??
 
Melissa nods
 
CHRIS PAGE: And weren’t Melissa and Chris Page not an even bigger attraction??
 
Once again Melissa nods her head, not sure where he is going with this.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Well, if they are expecting the stars to arrive, then we should have them watch the actual stars arrive!!! I am sure there is a special entrance for the biggest stars of the night.
 
The remark causes a smile to emerge upon the face from Melissa, really liking the suggestion of Page as she turns her attention towards him.
 
Melissa: Well, why don’t we put on some sunglasses and start to have mega-star behavior?
 
The two of them high-five each other, put on their sunglasses, and walk toward the mall in a rather cocky nature. They walk towards a private door that has two big gorilla-like men standing at either side off. Above the door reads Sin City Wrestling Employees
 
CHRIS PAGE: We should be heading that way Melissa.
 
The two are heading in that direction and one of the two men stops them just moments before they want to enter through the door.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Oh don’t worry, she belongs with me.
 
Melissa rolls her eyes as the security guard looks at them, then turns his colleague before turning his attention back towards them.
 
GUARD: And you are???
 
CHRIS PAGE: Chronic Chris Page and this is my Blast From The Past Hetro Life Mate,  Melissa, you may know her also from the Saviors and CCPE.
 
The guard looks at a list and then looks over at them
 
GUARD: Nice try, they already are inside. So try again, who are you???
 
Melissa steps in front of the security guard, grabs her ID, and shows it to him.
 
MELISSA: Explain to me that if this proves who I am, then who the f*** did you enter this mall??
 
The guard swallows hard before looking over his shoulder towards his colleague, who sees the ID from Chris Page. They nod to them to get inside as the two enter the mall to continue their investigation.
 
CHRIS PAGE: Now where is this stage monstrosity being erected?

Their attention roves over a mall directory. Melissa points out the food court.
MELISSA: It’s got to be at the food court.

CHRIS PAGE: Let’s go.

The duo starts to make their way in the general direction of the food court where they pass an overweight guy in his mid-twenties staring at framed picture filled with nothing but dots. Chris and Melissa both stop with Chris asking.

CHRIS PAGE: What the hell is he doing?

GUY: I’m trying to find the hidden picture. I’ve been coming here for days and I can’t see a goddamn thing!

Chris and Melissa gaze into the picture.

CHRIS PAGE: Oh yeah, a sailboat.

GUY: DAMNIT!

MELISSA: The force is strong with this one.

Melissa pats him on the shoulder as they continue onward to find the food court. Several minutes pass as we find Melissa and Chris finding their way to the food court but not without stopping so Chris can grab some chocolate-covered pretzels.

CHRIS PAGE: You’re meaning to tell me you’ve never heard of a stink palm? Oh, this is classic, you take your hand and cram it down your crack, and if you’ve got a case of swamp ass it makes it even better. Then you walk up to someone and shake their hand. I do it to unruly fans ALL the time. It’s hysterical.

MELISSA: But doesn’t your hand smell like…

CHRIS PAGE: Always roll with hand sanitizer.

Chris winks at Melissa as he throws back a Chocolate Covered Pretzel before quickly stopping and gasping upon arriving at the entry of the food court. Melissa and Chris’s eyes are drawn to the massive stage that is still being assembled with a long fucking line to match.

MELISSA: There it is.

CHRIS PAGE: All we have to do is find where they are keeping these clowns.

Melissa and Chris look on to see an older white guy with a bald head, cheap dress slacks, a Thrift Store Special dress shirt and don’t even get me on the shoes. The word walking disaster does a disservice to the word disaster.

CHRIS PAGE: That chode has to be involved somehow.

Melissa nods and starts to walk over before being called back by Chris. They disappear around the corner where Chris hands Melissa the bag of Chocolate Covered Pretzels.

MELISSA: What are you doing?

Chris crams his right hand down the back of his pants and into the sweaty crack of his ass for several seconds while Melissa looks on in disgust.

CHRIS PAGE: You never know when a good stink palm is needed.

Chris pulls his hand out of the back of his pants. He takes the back of Chocolate Covered Pretzels whilst giving Melissa a wink. They come back around the corner and find the target.

CHRIS PAGE: Man, Christian really let himself go.

Melissa and Chris both turn toward the camera, each cocking their head ever so slightly before returning their attention to the food court.

CHRIS PAGE: Let’s go.

They make their way over, unrecognized by anyone until they reach the stage manager.

CHRIS PAGE: Excuse me, could you tell us where we can find Chris Page and Miss Melissa?

The stage manager turns around and looks both Melissa and Page over before spouting out.

STAGE MANAGER: Get out.

The stage manager’s eyes stop on the lovely bag of chocolate-covered pretzels.

CHRIS PAGE: Ahhhh snap, I knew you looked like you’re a chocolate-covered pretzeled guy.

Chris reaches in with his right hand grabbing two pretzels.

CHRIS PAGE: Would you like one?

STAGE MANAGER: Well, I am a little hungry.

Chris flips over the manager’s hand exposing his palm and then slaps his right hand down on top of it before rubbing the chocolate-covered pretzels and the swamp-ass hand all over the stage manager causing the chocolate to bleed off the pretzels over the stage manager’s fingers. The stage manager pops the pretzels in his mouth before licking the chocolate off his fingertips. Chris Page fits back breaking out into a fit of laughter while Melissa turns her head toward him and Chris gives her a shrug.

MELISSA: It’s imperative that we speak with Chris Page and Melissa.

While still licking the crevasses of his fingertips.

STAGE MANAGER: Why? You act like their lives are in danger.

Chris casually states.

CHRIS PAGE: That’s classified.

STAGE MANAGER: Well, unless you two are the law and have some kind of warrant I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Chris and Melissa are on site and they are going to take the stage to meet thousands of their adoring fans. Now, if you’ll excuse me.

The stage manager snaps his fingers in the air waving them causing Mall Security that is headed up by Paul Blart on a seg-way to flood in and surround them. The stage manager calls out.

STAGE MANAGER: Get these two the hell out here. If they give you any problems, you have my permission to shoot them.

The security team snatches up Chris and Melissa…

… to be continued.

******

We come back with Melissa and Chris Page standing at a comic book store, looking at all different kinds of comic books as melissa grabs one.
 
Melissa: YES!!! The first episode of Bluntman and Chronic, oh you look so cute Chris.
 
Page chuckles as the two continue to search.
 
Melissa: Talking about firsts, this weekend is the first time that I and Page are going to be teaming up in this tournament. The first time that I will be facing Dawn Warren in a match and the first time that my Bombshell Internet title is on the line. Now, quite honestly Dawn?? I had hoped that I would have defended it against the former champion, but instead, I get you
 
She looks up at Chris Page, who is holding up a comic book of The Punisher as Melissa rolls her eyes.
 
Page chuckles as the two continue to search.
 
Melissa: What Chris is trying to say is that I should punish you, I doubt that is going to be any difficulty. Considering that you took the fall a few weeks ago when my girl Kim Pain pinned you and became the number one contender for the Bombshell Roulette title. Now obviously I am well aware that I shouldn’t overlook you in any way or form Dawn, I’ve done that before and that cost me the Bombshell Roulette title.
 
She grabs a comic book out of the list of many other comic books and holds it up in front of the camera, showing it to be one of Captain America.
 
Melissa: See this Dawn?? He has a shield, every superhero has something that makes them special. Me?? I’m just plain Melissa, current Bombshell Internet champion. And you know what Dawn?? I am intending to win this tournament alongside Chris Page, but I’ll be damned if I will walk out of this tournament with someone like YOU taking my championship away from me on my first defense. Do you know how hard I have fought to acquire this baby?? Of course, you don’t, so allow me to indulge you with what I had to go through. Something that seems like a million years of constant harassment of a ten-year bombshell veteran crybaby in Jessie Salco, a Greek Freak of annoyance in Ariana Angelos…, and several brutal matches to finally have Jessie Salco shut the fuck up!! And I then had to look up a booking that said that Ariana was the number one contender for MY belt when Kayla held it.
 
She shakes her head as she starts to chuckle
 
Melissa: Well we all know how that ended right?? And I will kick the living shit out of you, simply out of courtesy. To make you understand that you are not on the level of the Bombshell Roulette Division, let alone the Bombshell Internet Division. But just for you, I got a special offer. This championship opportunity will come with parental protection.
 
Chris Page looks up at Melissa with a puzzled look on his face.
 
Melissa: You see Dawn, with me at the top of this division there will be some changes. You cannot just say whatever you want, you cannot do anything that you want. Because when I sense that You are going out of line?? I am going to kick your head off your shoulders as if I am the best fucking Smart Scan. And don’t start to say that you will be aware of where it will be coming from. Because my legs are secured with the best VPN and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it. So good luck this Sunday, you will be needing it.

Chris speaks up.

CHRIS PAGE: Dawn isn’t the only person that’s going to be needing some help because Cal isn’t in any better shape. I said it before and I’ll say it again, what better way to put the “Chump” on notice than by smacking around his brother like it’s going out of style? Calvin might have been something at one point in time but as the years have progressed Cal’s abilities haven’t. I mean, I heard what he had to say and it sounded like he was trying to convince himself he still belongs. New Flash, you don’t.

Melissa continues to look over comics as Chris continues.

CHRIS PAGE: Everybody wants to stake a claim at winning the Blast from the Past, and you all have your own motives that fuel your fire but there is only one team that will go above and beyond to prove it. My history with Michael has left a very sour taste in my mouth because anyone can beat me once. Very few are capable of doing it twice. Now, a lot of you might take that as a sign of weakness but it’s in defeat that you put the pieces together. To get back to you, Michael, I’m going to wreck fucking house against whoever stands across the ring from me, including your family.

A more malicious tone escapes his mouth while he continues.

CHRIS PAGE: I know you’re going to be watching, I know you’ve got your eyes on this tournament because if you’re not then you are a bigger idiot than originally thought, but I want you to watch as I systematically dissect your flesh and blood, making him scream out in pain, twisting his pride, slicing through his ego, and ultimately leaving him at your feet a broken and bloody mess for no other reason than because I can… and you’re powerless to stop me. Consider Round One a personal message that I’ll be sending to you, Mike, and while Round One will be a lot of fun for me… it’s going to be less fun for you.

Chris pauses for a moment before he states.

CHRIS PAGE: But what about the rest of you? Is it going to hurt my feelings if I come across Kim and Goth next? Is it going to bother me if I have to snatch victory away from Mac Bane seeing as we are all Saviors AND CCPE alike? Is it going to crush me to have to defeat my Mechanic in Peter Vaughn? Or what about Ken Davison? Not in the slightest. We thrive on competition, and in some cases, the best form of competition is against your own… in this case truer words have never been spoken. This entire tournament is set up for one of our teams to take the victory, when one wins… we all win, but there isn’t a single talent on this or any roster that is as red-hot as I am right now.

Melissa joins Chris as they both face the camera.

CHRIS PAGE: People can say or do whatever they need to to make themselves feel better for their shortcomings, but when you look at the team of Miss Melissa and Chris Page you’re not just looking at the Bombshell Internet Champion and you’re uncrowned World Champion; oh no, you’re looking at your worst fucking nightmare’s come true. The last thing we care about is anyone’s well-being when we step through those ropes, friends or foes. Miss Melissa and I are going to make a lot of history at the expense of any of you but it just do happens that Cal and Dawn are the first of many examples that we are going to set for the rest of you to desperately live up to. We welcome you to try but don’t cry when you test your skills against the only team in this Tournament that fucking matters. This is our time, this is our place, and here in a couple of days, the feelings that you get in the pit of your stomach aren’t going to be nerves… it’s going to be fear, and it’s going to be well-placed.

Miss Melissa then states.

Melissa: There are a lot of imposters in our midst trying to cosplay as Blast from the Past winners but there is only one pairing that is going to go all the way to the promised land and securing shots at the SCW World and Bombshell Championships. I hate to be the bearer of bad news for the rest of you… you’re looking at them.




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