Author Topic: DESPAYRE v TROLL - ANGEL ON A POLE MATCH  (Read 107 times)

Offline Christian Underwood

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« on: March 07, 2022, 03:16:54 PM »
Post all roleplays for this match in this thread.
Limits: 1 roleplay per week, 7,000 word limit.

Good luck!

“To err is human - but it feels divine.”
? Mae West

Offline The Troll

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« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2022, 07:57:51 PM »
“Looney Tunes With A Capital CUCKOO!!”

Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll

The camera angle opens with a large form front and center. which is explained altogether too easily as the form recedes to reveal a Robert Pattinson printed T, but not for his new megahit, The Batman. No, THIS particular brand of printed media was of Pattinson's much earlier hit, the one that made him a household name, with his image bearing the likeness of Edward Cullen from Twilight fame. It was then revealed to being none other than the hefty girth of SCW's resident conspiracy theorist and expert player of the "victim card"....

The Troll: Hey yo yo yo! It's yours truly, your boy The Troll! Here to give each and every one of my peeps a healthy dose of what you need the most; the TRUTH!

He picks up a small hammer and gives a set of chimes on his computer desk aka a folding card table, sending the chimes' melodies ringing.

The Troll: And what better example to lead by than by the travesty that happened just this past Sunday when yours truly was the victim of a brutal and unprovoked attack by not this one person, but two! If you can actually count that little psychopath Despayre as a person that is. And as for his little partner in crime, the most overrated wrestler in the history of Sin City Wrestling, Mikah? Well here. S the fact. I would have put up more of a fuss with the higher ups and I was tempted to even file a lawsuit against her for her attacking !e DESPITE the mandates SCW has an effect against intergender competition, but the truth is that I just felt so bad for the poor thing. That's probably the first time she's ever felt the touch of a real man and what has to be years! But here is the good news as PROMISED!

He brings a closed fist down onto the surface of his "desk" - promptly knocking over his large strawberry Dr Pepper from Wendy's.

The Troll: Shit! Aw DAMN it!

Sending him scrambling to pick up his now wasted drink and attempting to pick up his keyboard with one hand while trying to salvage the mess with a dirty paper towel. But just as he is making some progress..

*Thud! Thud! Thud!*


The Troll winces and pulls the headphones away from his right ear and looks upward to the first floor level of his family house.

The Troll: What, Ma!?

Mom: Was that YOU using the blue language!?

The Troll looks left, then right, and casually glances back up…

The Troll: Er, NO – Ma!

Mom: Well who was it then!? Was it one of your little friends? Do you have someone over and you didn’t even THINK to introduce them to your mother!?

The Troll: No Ma!

Mom: That just figures! You probably got that nice Miles Kasey boy to visit and didn’t even bring him up for tea! Just wham, bam, thank you…


 Crickets chirp just long enough until…

Mom: Big surprise….

The Troll returns to his broadcast when he blinks, then looks back up and mouths “What the fu-fudge!?”  He then looks back into the camera and shakes his head.

The Troll: Now where was I? Oh YEAH! You wanted justice for your boy, the Troll? You wanted the SCW bosses to do what’s right? Well I am here to tell you here and now that “Hot Stuff” Mark Ward PERSONALLY sent me a fax from his offices in Las Vegas…

He holds up a paper, but keeps it short and sweet before he slaps it back down onto the surface of his “desk.”

The Troll: And he decided to do what was right and he offered to CANCEL this match against that walking Looney Tune character Despayre and suspend him indefinitely for his unprovoked attack! But, you know me…

He holds his arms out in a gesture of self presentation.

The Troll: I know I have a lot of people out there supporting me, and the Troll appreciates his peeps! So I told Mark Ward absolutely NOT! I want to keep this match as is because I want to show the world just how overrated that nutcase Despayre really is! Although – don’t be surprised if Mark Ward, my close and personal friend, decides to make this match the Main Event because we all know that is where the Troll belongs! And Despayre? He’s a one trick pony with that teddy bear of his. Without that toy, he’s nothing and when - not if - when I climb that pole and grab that dumb bear ….

The Troll slices his thumb across his throat in a universally recognized gesture.

The Troll: I am going to tear that dumb bear’s head clean off and shove that stuffing right down Despayre’s throat! And that - my peeps - is THE TRUTH!

So-called armchair expert on absolutely anything that means absolutely nothing.

Offline Despayre

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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2022, 06:19:09 PM »

Messterpiece Theater
w/Joshua Kooky

As the classical theme song played in the background, the opening shot of a book's spine inscribed in gold lettering was "Messterpiece Theater". It rolled over and faded to a close up shot of a tabletop, fine oak and a golden framed, black and white photograph of the Seven Deadly Sins. Fade to a large tome, an original edition of "Mary Poppins", open wide on a pedestal and a purple sash draped down the center as a place saver. The camera pans to the right of the book to a Funko Pop bust of Duck Dodgers of Looney Tunes fame. Moving aside from that, a silver tray piled high with Starburst, and a glass decanter filled with glorious purple Skittles. Moving further up the elegant table was a framed photograph of a teddy bear (two guesses as to who!) and just behind that, in a gold leaf frame, a picture of Queen Elizabeth herself. The camera panned over to a small row of books, personal favorites such as "Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree" and "Where the Wild Things Are."

The camera panned across a large display case, where rested several championship belts with golden emblems, such as the AWA International, AWA World Tag Team, NWA World Tag Team, SCW World Tag Team, and SCW Internet. Also in the case was an elaborate trophy for the Blast From the Past Memorial tournament, along with a Hall of Fame plaque and four Most Popular of the Year trophies.

A bookcase was set on the far wall, and there, seated in an old English chair before it lands in front of a window looking out across the night skyline, was our host. Clad in a purple smoking robe and Grumpy Cat slippers. A bubble pipe in his hand and a crystal goblet of Cherry Coke on the table at his left. With an open book on his lap, he looked up to the camera and smiled.

Joshua Kooky: Good evening friends, and welcome to yet another enthralling edition of 'Messterpiece Theater.' I am your host, Joshua Kooky.

He turns his smiling face into a close up angle.

Joshua Kooky: But then again, you already knew that.

Our host kicks an ankle up over bended knee, sending a slipper airborne. Joshua watches as it flies up and over, resulting in the sound of glass shattering and Joshua wincing openly. He then returns his gaze toward the camera with a goofy smile.

Joshua Kooky: Today's tale of whimsy and wonder is all about three besties and all about greed. For being grateful for what you have and not expecting too much. Now, without further ado, Messterpiece Theater proudly presents to you - The Three Teddy Bears Gruff!

Here is where the scene fades away in one of those really nifty fading and wavy special effects while the sound of wind chimes tickles our ears and delights our senses until…

Narrator: Once upon a time in the wonderful land of Flaflufihophen....

Narrator: Where do you get these names?

Narrator: Spell check took on a life of its own I swear!

Have you ever experienced the most perfect day? I tell you where the sky is a picture perfect, clear blue without a cloud to be seen? Where the temperature is just perfect, not too cool and not too warm just after the noon hour amidst a big, grassy field? Yeah, that's not where we are at the moment. The weather IS just as described, but those grassy fields? They're just over yonder, across the river where a rickety bridge is the only way across.

“Every teddy bear who's been good is sure of a treat today
There's lots of marvelous things to eat and wonderful games to play
Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
That's the way the teddy bears have their picnic”

Teddy Bear Amber, a dangerous looking red-headed teddy bear, comes to a stop, rolling her eyes. She casts a glance back at the sultry blonde teddy bear behind her.

Teddy Bear Amber: WHY do you always sing that whenever we go to one of these picnics!? It drives me batty!

Teddy Be4ear Mikah smirked as only she could and pinched Teddy Bear Amber’s cheek.

Teddy Bear Mikah: You just answered your own question, Boopsy!

Before Teddy Bear Amber swatted her paw aside. The two femme fatale teddy bears then cast a look back to find the third in their party, Teddy Bear Despayre, coming along behind them, carrying the massive load on his back of all their picnic supplies. They then turned and approached the bridge, but took one loom at the rickety old wood, almost worn away with age, then down into the water below that separated their woods and those picture, perfect grassy hills.

Teddy Bear Mikah leaned over and whispered something, causing Teddy Bear Amber to whip her head around to glare…

Teddy Bear Amber: Whaddya mean ‘ladies first’!? G’WAN!

And Teddy Bear Amber grabbed her by the arm and gave her a bit of a shove toward the bridge. Teddy Bear Mikah sighed and she started to walk as carefully as can be across the boards, her high heels (yes, seriously) going ‘trip trap, trip trap’ as she walked when a voice called out from below…

Troll: MA!? Is that you!?

Teddy Bear Mikah paused and looked from left to right…

Troll: Well  I’m HUNGRY! And I can’t wait any more so I’m coming to eat you!

Teddy Bear Mikah: oh no, don’t eat ME! I’m too skinny and stringy. Wait a moment when my friend crosses the bridge. She’s MUCH bigger and tender than I am!

Teddy Bear Amber: I HEARD THAT!

Troll: (mumbles) Fine! Go ahead!

Satisfied, Teddy Bear Mikah struts the rest of the way across the bridge, leaving it Teddy Bear Amber’s turn. She too crosses the bridge, her combat boots sounding hard on the boards…

Troll: MA!? Is THAT you!?

Teddy Bear Amber: If it WAS me, this bridge would be hanging much lower!

Troll: Well  I’m HUNGRY! And I can’t wait any more so I’m coming to eat you!

Teddy Bear Amber: Oh as IF! Wait until my friend comes along! He has all the food!

Troll: (mumbles) Fine! Go ahead!

Teddy Bear Amber rolled her eyes and crossed the bridge the rest of the way. And THEN along came their friend, the hero of this tale, Teddy Bear Despayre - it RHYMES! With a skip in his step and a soft whistle escaping his pursed lips, he SO looked forward to spending the day on a picnic with his two close pals and stepped right onto the bridge to cross over. The weight of the food caused the bridge to creak and groan loudly when…

Troll: Oh ho ho HO! That must be my dinner now!

And a grotesque, ugly old troll crawled up from beneath his mother’s bridge, his ratty, curly hair in tangles and a cheese stained shirt with holes that read “Nerd Trolls Do It Quick.” Broken glasses were worn on his face but his eyesight was good enough to see the large load coming toward him. He licked his lips and lumbered up onto the bridge … just as Teddy Bear Despayre walked right into him, knocking the dumb ol’ Troll right back over the side of the bridge and into the rapids below, washing him away! Leaving Teddy Bear Despy none the wiser and eager to join his two best pals for a day’s picnic!

“Troll is big, He’s a loser,
The dreaded,  momma's boy, donut abuser.
He’s not ready for Despy, who’s nothing but fun!
This fable is over, Troll’s misery has just begun!”


Just then, the door of the suite inside of the Omni Hotel in Los Angeles opened and Synn stepped inside to find his son Despayre seated on the edge of his bed, the teddy bear Angel beside him and an open book of children’s tales between them.

Synn: Joshua? It’s time to go meet Amber and Mac for dinner…

Narrator: Can we have a moment please? Someone is reading someone a story and we’re almost finished!

Synn yielded with good humor at his son’s antics and held his hands up.

Synn: Forgive me. Please go right ahead.

Narrator: Thank you.

He then turned and looked at Angel.

Narrator: Go ahead and finish, Angel.

Synn sighed and looked off to nobody and nothing in particular.

Synn: Yes, I should have seen that one coming.

“You know, Angel and I have been buddies for a very long time. When you are friends with someone for so long, you get to know each other very well. You come to love them and want to protect them. And while I know it’s Angel’s sacred duty to watch over me and protect me from all the creepy and nasty things that live in the shadows, beneath my bed and in my closet, sometimes I just can’t help myself! Sometimes I just have to protect him too, even though Mikah saved him from that nasty Troll, and Angel reassured me that he was never in any real danger to start with.”

“I love my friends, everyone from Angel to Gabriel and everyone else! And I don’t like it when someone messes with my friends. Angel. Delia. Melody and, of course, my pal Jn2. And EVERYONE else. They can take care of themselves, but still… when you see a friend in danger, or think they’re in trouble, you just want to fight back against whoever is trying to do them a mischief. And that’s just what I’m going to do!”

“But I should have known better. Angel was just lulling that big loser into a false sense of security, and I think he also did it because he knew a little part of me wanted to have some fun and wrestle again. Just this once because I do sort of miss it. So this was all a part of Angel’s plan to get me a match at Blaze of Glory X! See? Angel is just the absolute best!”

“It’s just a shame it’s against the Troll and not somebody who could actually make money.”

"A teddy bear does not depend upon mechanics to give him the semblance of life. He is loved - and therefore he lives."