Sunday, March 17th, 2013
The scene opens up early in the afternoon on St. Patrick's Day, sometime prior to the beginning of that week's episode of SCW Climax Control. It can only be assumed that what is currently being seen is taking place somewhere in the region of Caracas, Venezuela, as seen walking down the streets of this downtown area is none other than Nick Jones himself, wearing a green Guinness shirt for the occasion. Surprisingly enough, Nick seems to be entirely on his own as he walks down the street, without any of the members of his entourage or his girlfriend Diana. Nick continues walking along, typing away on his cell phone as he looks up on the signs on the various establishments he is walking past. Eventually, Nick comes to a stop upon looking and one of the signs and walks into what would appear to be a bar. However, Nick takes one step inside and quickly comes to a stop as he looks around only to see that the establishment is almost completely empty, with just a few stools at the bar taken and nobody else to be seen. Nick looks disgusted at the sight and quickly looks back down to his phone as he mumbles to himself while typing away.
Nick: I'm here, B. Where the hell are you, dumbass?
Nick sends the message away and waits. Just a moment later Nick's phone can be heard vibrating and he quickly looks at the screen, but his expression only changes of even more annoyance.
Nick: "There was nobody there"?!?
Nick start typing on his phone again as he speaks along with it.
Nick: No shit there's nobody here, but you are supposed to be, dipshit!
Nick hits send again and just a moment later gets another rapid response.
Nick: "Oh yeah, but I left to go someplace else that had people. I guess I was supposed to tell you. I forgot. Sorry."
Nick shakes his head in disgust as he finishes reading the message.
Nick: Jeez, not even I would have thought this heaping pile of moron cousin of mine was too stupid to even manage to meet somebody out at a bar.
Nick goes back to his phone again, typing up another response.
Nick: Where are you now?
Nick sends the message and gets a quick response, at which point he looks at it and heads right back outside. As Nick leaves the bar, he starts to continue on down the street he was walking along earlier, continuing to pass a variety of other establishments as he searches for the one that Big B apparently went to. The further Nick gets down the road, the more annoyed he seems to be about the situation.
Nick: How many other bars must this idiot have walked past in order to get to the one he's at now?!?
Nick continues on along down the road, eventually reaching the one Big B had told him that he was now at. Nick then walks into the door of the bar and this time, finds a much busier crowd as the place seems nearly completely filled. However, with that said, Nick looks around as he does not seem to see one person who typically stands out like a sore thumb anywhere they go, but particularly in a place like Venezuela, Big B. Nick starts walking around the not particularly large establishment, making sure he hasn't missed his cousin, but Big B is still nowhere to be seen. As Nick is seen clearly looking around for something, one of the bartenders comes over towards the part of the bar where Nick is closest to and starts to speak. However, the bartender is clearly speaking to Nick in Spanish, which simply elicits and blank stare in response from Nick. The bartender, upon realizing the issue, tries again in English, with a bit of an accent.
Bartender: Are you looking for a seat?
Nick: No, I'm looking for my idiot cousin.
Bartender: Are you sure he is here?
Nick: He said he was, but when dealing with that moron it's impossible to say anything for sure.
Bartender: How about I get you a beer while you figure it out?
Nick: You know what? That sounds like a great idea. What have you got?
Bartender: How about a Guinness?
The bartender points towards Nick's shirt as he says that. Nick seems a bit caught off guard by that.
Nick: You guys have Guinness here?
Bartender: Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't we?
Nick: I don't know, but yeah, make it a Guinness.
Bartender: Ok, coming right up.
Nick manages to grab a stool at the bar and goes back to his phone as the bartender goes and pours Nick a beer. Nick types up another text message to B as he waits.
Nick: Hey dumbass, I'm here. Where the hell are you?
Nick sends the message and then grabs his beer from the bartender and starts to drink it. After having a few sips of his beer, Nick's phone starts to vibrate again and he grabs up off of the bar where he put it down. Nick looks disgusted as he reads it.
Nick: "I'm here too!" No you're not, dipshit!
Nick puts his face in his hands as he shakes his entire head from side to side. After he a few moments, he sits back up and then starts to send another text back to B.
Nick: Where?!? I'm here, so if you were here too, I'd see you. So that means, you can't be here!
Nick hits send and slams the phone back down on the bar, as he starts to quicken the pace with which he is drinking his Guinness. After a few big gulps, Nick stops and takes a deep breath to slow himself down, gently placing the glass down on the bar as he hears his phone vibrate against the top of the bar. Nick seems hesitant to even look at the phone again, but eventually gives in and picks it up reads it again, which quickly causes him to roll his eyes and let out a half-hearted laugh.
Nick: Well would you look at that, there's a shocker. The moron is actually at a different place. Whatever, I'm enjoying my beer, that big dumbass can wait.
Nick eases back on his bar stool and continues to slowly sip back his beer, taking several minutes to finish it off as he seems to get only more enjoyment out of the idea of making Big B wait. Just as Nick finishes the beer, the bartender is quick to come over to pour him another, but Nick waves the man off and pays for the one beer before getting up from the stool. Nick then walks outside and as he does, Nick looks back and forth for a couple of seconds, looking up at the signs on the buildings before coming to a realization.
Nick: Wait a second, this pile of turds is sending me back to one of the bars he already made me walk past?!? That stupid son of a....
Nick rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disgust before simply giving in and walking back in the direction of the bar Big B is now claiming to be at. After a couple of blocks of walking back through some familiar area, Nick comes up to the bar in question. Nick then heads straight into the bar that has a bit of a moderate scene going on and looks around just a second before a very familiar voice is heard booming throughout the bar.
Big B: Hey cuz, over here!!!
Upon hearing the voice, Nick seems somewhat revealed the Big B is actually at this particular bar as he lets out a bit of a sigh of relief.
Nick: Oh, thank God.
With that, Nick then turns towards the direction from which he heard B's voice coming. As soon as he looks that way, Nick's eyes quickly go wide as he seems to not quite believe what he sees.
Nick: Or maybe not.
Nick then slowly walks over towards where Big B and as he gets close enough so that Big B is shown in the camera shot, it becomes rather apparent why Nick reacted the way he did, as Nick's cousin seems to have opted to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in a very interesting manner. A quick look at Big B shows that he is dressed up as though he were an overgrown leprechaun, including a whole green ensemble of a little top hat, shorts, suspenders and pointy green shoes. Nick does not say a word, as he simply looks his cousin up and down with an expression of complete shock painted across his face. Big B on the other hand, seems to be either unaware or unphased by Nick's reaction to his attire.
Big B: So glad you made it cuz! But what took you so long?
Nick: Oh, I don't know, maybe because some idiot sent me on a wild goose chase all around Caracas?!?
Big B: That stinks. Who did that?
Nick: You have got to be kidding me, right? You know what, forget all that... I've got something more important to address. What the hell is this?
Big B: What is what?
Nick: THIS!
Nick points to Big B's attire, but B seems to be unclear as to what Nick is getting at as B looks at and all around himself for a while before eventually looking at Nick and shrugging.
Big B: I don't see what you're pointing at.
Nick: I'm pointing at YOU ya big doof!
Big B: Why? What's on me?!? GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!
Big B starts jumping around and trying to smack things off of himself that are not even there. Nick shakes his head at his cousin for a moment before eventually grabbing him to bring him to a stop.
Nick: What's on you is your clothes ya 'tard.
Big B: Oh... I knew that. I knew I was wearing clothes.
Nick: Yes, but what you seem to be unaware of is what those clothes are that you're wearing.
Big B: Nuh uh... I know what I'm wearing.
Nick: Well do you know what a complete and utter jackass it makes you look like?
Big B: No way, I look totally cool.
Nick: You look like the lucky charms dude's brain damaged bastard child on steroids!
Big B: Really?
Nick: Yes, really.
Big B: That... is.... AWESOME!!!
Nick: Oh brother.
Big B: I'm not your brother, I'm your cousin.
Nick: God help me.
Big B: With what?
Nick: Will you just shut up for a minute? You're giving me a headache.
Big B: Why don't you have a drink? That might help with your headache.
Nick: Yeah, fine.
Big B: Ok, I'll get you one of what I'm having.
That comment from Big B causes Nick to take his first look at what Big B is drinking at which point he notices that B is very, very slowly sipping away at an icy little mixed drink in a glass covered with all sorts of pieces of fruit. Nick sees this and now looks even more disgusted than ever as he looks back at his cousin.
Nick: There is no way you are ordering me THAT. Are you kidding with this crap?!?
Big B: What? It's yummy!
Nick: Yummy?!? Did you really just say yummy?!? I'm getting a beer, and I'm getting you one too.
Big B: But I don't want a beer.
Nick: I really don't care what you want. You look like a big enough fool already in that little getup of yours, and I've got to stand next to you while you're dressed like that. I'm not going to let you look like a complete puss with your little fruity-drink while I'm at it.
Big B: Fine. Whatever. I don't get what the big deal is.
Nick: The big deal is I have to be seen in public with you.
Big B: It's not like I'm the only person who ever dresses up like this for days like St. Patty's.
Nick: Around here you certainly are. Besides, even when you are around places where people do this stuff, at least those idiots are still actually smart enough to know to surround themselves with other idiots who look just as stupid as they do. You're standing around here dressed like that all on your own, which means absolutely every is focused on you as the biggest idiot of them all.
Big B: Nuh uh, that's not true. I'm not the only one dressed like this here!
Nick: Oh really?
Nick stops and takes a look around the bar, which is filled entirely with locals who seem to be out for a regular day at the bar, with nobody dressed in even the slightest bit of a manner to denote a celebration of St. Patrick's Day. Nick then looks back at his cousin shaking his head.
Nick: And where would these mystical Venezuelan leprechauns be exactly?
Big B: No it wasn't any of the Venen... Venee... Venz... it wasn't any of the locals, it was my friends who came here with me that are dressed like this too!
Nick looks at his cousin as if he has now completely lost his mind, looking all around where they are standing as it has been quite apparent from the moment Nick arrived that Big B was standing up at the bar alone. After looking around for a little bit, Nick then looks over to the empty space at the bar directly next to where B is standing and outstretches his hand towards the empty air.
Nick: It's so nice to meet you. Great outfit you've got going on there. I can see how you and my cousin here clearly coordinated your attire to match. Job well done.
Nick then acts as if he is shaking hands with the empty space, which causes a bit of a scowl to come across B's face.
Big B: Don't be like that! They went to the bathroom, ya idiot.
Nick is caught completely off guard by that comment from his cousin, as a expression of shock comes across his face.
Nick: Whoa whoa whoa... did YOU just call ME an idiot?
Big B: Just calling it like I see it.
Nick: And YOU see ME as an idiot? I just need to make sure I've got this all perfectly clear.
Big B: You were talking to the freakin' air! I know you were thinking you were being funny or whatever, but I knew that there's nobody here now. I'm not stupid you know.
Nick: Sure you're not. I still don't see any evidence of these alleged leprechaun-impersonating friends of yours.
Before Big B can even respond, Nick's doubts are put to rest as the nearby bathroom door bursts open and it becomes quickly apparent who were the friends to which Big B was referring. As the door opens up, dressed in similar types of green attire as B, comes stumbling out the familiar faces of the drunken cousins of Shane Boswell and Matt Grove. As soon as Nick sees them, he rolls his eyes as the two stumble their way over to the space next to Big B at the bar. As they get there, Matt is the first to spot Nick and seems to be rather happy by his appearance.
Matt: Dude!
Shane: What?
Matt: No, I mean... DUDE!
Matt points over towards Nick as he says that, clearly trying to make the point that he was simply referring to Nick's presence and not trying to get his cousin's attention. Shane however, in his extremely drunken state, does not seem to quite get that, as he looks back at Matt with some confusion.
Shane: Yeah, I mean... WHAT?!?
Matt: DUDE!! DUDE!! DUDE!!
Matt points to Nick each time he screams out, each time getting a little closer into Shane's face as if to make the point. However, Shane simply responds back by getting further into Matt's face as he screams back.
Shane: WHAT?!? WHAT?!? WHAT?!?
The two men silently stare at each other for a minute, both now seeming to be completely perplexed by the situation. Matt eventually looks at his cousin and shrugs, clearly having forgotten what this all even started about.
Matt: I don't know.
Shane then turns away from Matt, only to finally see Nick standing there for the first time.
Shane: Oh, hey dude!
Matt: What?
Shane: No, it doesn't work that way.
Matt: Oh, right... sorry.
Nick: What is the matter with you two?
Matt: He's drunk.
Shane: Yeah, him too.
Nick: This is hardly news, but you two are acting like complete spazzes today, even for you! What's wrong, somebody after ye lucky charms?
Matt: Of course dude, they're magically delicious!!
Shane: YEAH THEY ARE!!!
Shane and Matt turn to each other and give each other a huge high five that goes echoing throughout the bar and leaves both men shaking their hands in pain. The entire exchange causes Nick to quickly go from being quite amused with himself and his own joke to not quite believing the reaction he got from it, as he puts his hands down into his face for a moment. Nick then pulls his face out of his hands and turns his attention towards the bar.
Nick: If I'm going to be hanging out with these three clowns, I'm going to need a whole lot to drink.
With that said, Nick quickly does his best to flag down the bartender, while Big B, Shane and Matt go off onto their own little conversation as the scene fades.
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Sunday, March 24th, 2013
The scene fades into the backstage area at Palacio de los Deportes in Bogota, Colombia. The shot shows the inside of the locker room of The Supremacy, where Nick Jones is seen finishing getting ready for that night's episode of Climax Control and seated throughout the room are most of the members of Nick's entourage; Diana, Tony, Jimmy and Max. A short time later the one missing member appears as the door opens and in walks Big B with his each of his arms filled with a big brown paper bag. B walks over to the table setup in the room and places the bags down on them.
Big B: Lunch is here!
Tony: About friggin' time!
Jimmy: No kidding, I'm starving, baby!
Big B: Sorry guys, I just didn't expect it to take this long what I wanted to get us for lunch.
Diana: Why, what did you get us?
Big B: Well I had a real craving for it, so I got us... Chinese food!
Big B excitedly pulls the Chinese food containers out from the bag as the rest of the room stares at him in complete silence. After some time Nick, who looks more annoyed than anything, finally breaks the silence.
Nick: Chinese food? In Colombia?!?
Big B: Yeah, why not?
Nick: Because we're in freakin' COLOMBIA!!
Big B: I know that.
Nick: You really don't see the issue with this?
Big B: No. I know we're not in China or nothing, but neither are we when we eat Chinese food at him.
Nick shakes his head in disgust as he turns towards the rest of the entourage members seated nearby.
Nick: I seriously don't know what to do with this freakin' guy.
Tony: Jus' friggin' eat and don'ts tries ta t'ink about it.
Nick: Yeah, that's probably some good advice. Alright guys, let's dig in.
Max: Wait... do you guys think this is kosher?
The entire group cannot help but break out into laughter at Max's comment, with the one exception of Big B of course, who simply seems confused by the laughter of the others.
Jimmy: Maxy, baby... I hate to break it to you, but I wouldn't bet on finding another kosher around here. We're in Bogota, baby.
Big B: Wait a second, that doesn't seem right. I've been there before and this doesn't look like The Borgata. Besides, isn't that in New Jersey?
Nick: BOGOTA you fucking idiot. BOGOTA!!!
Big B: Jeez, no need to yell about it.
Diana: So ANYWAY... as far as your question Max, you would be lucky if here in Bogota...
Diana glares in Big B's direction for a second before continuing on.
Diana: ... if most of these people have ever even met another Jewish person before.
Big B: Why wouldn't they have? I've met plenty of others before I met Max.
Nick: Just do us all a favor and stop talking, ok?
Big B: Um... ok.
Nick: Wow, really? I have to remember that one in the future.
Big B: What one?
Nick: Never mind.
Nick rolls his eyes as he heads over to where Big B has laid out all the food on the table and grabs a paper plate and starts to scoop some of the food onto it, closely followed behind by the rest of the group. Each of them fills up a plateful of food and heads back to their respective seats and begins to dig into their food as they continue on their conversation.
Tony: By da way, what was da deal wit' dat chik Marky was bringin' around last week?
Jimmy: Who? You mean that medical chick?
Max: She is the new official SCW Backstage Nurse.
Tony: Yeah, her. I mean, I's knew dat. But I's asking yous, what's da deal wit' her... ya know?
Nick: The only deal I know with her is that dumb broad didn't even know who the hell I was.
Big B: Yeah, that was pretty funny.
Nick immediately snaps his head around to look at B, glaring at him for his last comment. B sees the look from Nick and immediately sits back into his chair and gets real quiet.
Nick: Yeah, hardy freakin' har. If this broad plans on sticking around here, she better get her act together mighty damn quick.
Tony: And if she ain't gonna be stickin' around here's long, den all da betta', because den I's got something I can stick to her on da way out, if ya's know what I'm talkin' 'bout!
The guys in the group all cannot help but chuckle at Tony's comment, except Big B who once again looks confused. Meanwhile, Diana sits there with a look of complete disgust on her face.
Diana: What's wrong with you? You're such a pervert... pig.
Diana shakes her head and scoffs at Tony before mumbling to herself after that.
Diana: Although then again, that dumb skank would probably think that was a great idea you had.
Nick: Sorry, but I don't think Mark hired her for you to send her running scared after a week Tone. Although if she doesn't pull her head out of her ass, it'll be only so long before even he gets sick and tired of her act. I mean, let's be honest, Mark has his priorities aligned in a certain manner when it comes to hiring new ladies onto the staff and well, credit where it's due, while she might have no clue what's going on in the wrestling world, she sure is one fine piece of...
Nick stops himself mid-sentence as he looks over to see Diana staring at Nick rather angrily, at which point he quickly clears his throat and changes the end of what he was saying.
Nick: ... nursing. Yeah, one fine piece of nursing.
Nick looks at Diana with a sheepish grin as she looks at him not quite sure what to believe, but still seems to be calming down quite a bit. However, that doesn't seem to last as Big B quickly interjects.
Big B: How would you know that? You've never gone to see her for any nursing help or anything.
Nick darts his eyes right back over because of that comment and then proceeds to quickly grab a water bottle from the nearby table and throws it at Big B, causing it to crack him right in the head.
Big B: Ouch! What was that for?
Nick: Shut up you big goon!
Big B: There's no need to throw things. That hurt! Here, see how you like it!
As a means of revenge Big B decides to throw something back and Nick and in the process grabs the closest thing within his reach which just so happens to be... a fortune cookie. B throws the cookie at Nick which simply lands right in Nick's lap and Nick cannot help but laugh as he rolls his eyes. Nick then grabs the cookie and crushes it in his hand. Nick then decides to read the fortune from inside of the cookie out loud.
Nick: "Even the smartest person can learn something from the dumbest."
Nick looks up from the fortune and start back at Big B for a moment, seeming to be pondering what it said.
Nick: Yeah, not freakin' likely.
The rest of the group laughs, leaving Big B once again confused as he doesn't manage to follow along with what is being suggested.
Nick: This is just too rich... I've got to tweet this one.
Nick pulls out his phone and starts to type away on it, but after just a second, he ends up dropping his phone as he shakes his hand in pain.
Nick: Ow... son of a bitch!
Diana: Oh my God, after all of this time of making fun of everyone else for tweeting, did you just tweet so much that you pulled a muscle in your thumb?
Nick: What? No... shut up!
Diana: You really did, didn't you? This is too funny!
Nick: It's just... a cramp. Just, leave me alone, alright! I've got to go have an interview. Screw you all!
Nick gets up and storms off out of the locker room, grabbing his phone on the way out as he leaves behind his entire entourage who break out into laughter at what just happened as the scene fades.
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The scene opens back up just minutes later in the backstage interview area where SCW Report Ms. Rocky Mountains is seen standing by.
RM: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I am Ms. Rocky Mountains and I am here standing by with the former two-time SCW Heavyweight Champion Nick Jones!
The scene zooms out to show Nick standing by Rocky's side, holding his right hand in pain.
RM: Thanks for taking the time to speak with me tonight, Nick.
Nick: Not a problem Jezebel Jugs.
RM: Well would you look at that, a new nickname for me. I must say I'm kind of glad, because let's be honest, I think we had all gotten a bit sick and tired of "Madam Mammaries".
As Nick hears Rocky repeat his oft-used nickname for her, he cannot help but laugh.
RM: I guess not all of us.
Rocky rolls here yes at Nick before continuing on with the interview.
RM: Now Nick, tonight you are set to face, for the very first time in your career, one of SCW's fastest rising stars in Derek Thorne. Why don't you tell us your thoughts on tonight's match?
Nick: What's there to tell? I think I made my position pretty clear last Sunday. I may not have faced this Derek kid before, but what makes him any different than literally every single other SCW wrestler I have ever faced? I'll tell you what, absolutely nothing. I have beaten every one of those chumps and after tonight, his name will just be another one on the already long list. I've said it and I've proven it, I am the very best this company, this entire industry, has to offer. I'm better than all of these chumps around here and Derek's no exception to that rule. He's another nobody and in the end, all he's going to be known known for is simply being the latest in a long line of those who have been dumb enough to step into the ring with me, thinking they had a shot and, in the end, ultimately fallen before me.
RM: Speaking of the positions you made clear on Sunday, as everyone all around the SCW, from the owners to the wrestlers to the fans, have been more and more intrigued by what has been going in lately in the SCW locker room with lines being drawn in the sand you essentially told everyone out that there that you were on the side of well... no one. What do you have to say about that?
Nick: What more is there really to say? Am I really supposed to give a crap about Erik Staggs and his sorry ass little group of friends? Because I certainly don't. And I couldn't care less about Christian Underwood and whoever the hell he rallies together to be his little band of second-rate nobodies, and what they decide to do.
RM: Be that as it may, the attempt to put together a group of superstars to back up the SCW is not just the goal of Christian, but also that of your close personal friend, Hot Stuff Mark Ward. Are you saying you have no plans to join up in his cause?
Nick: Listen sweetheart, try not to hurt yourself by thinking too hard, alright? Mark and I are just fine and dandy, and will continue to be so despite this little ongoing fiasco. So don't worry your pretty little head off about it, alright toots? The reality of the situation is that, all of this nonsense is nothing but the most recent desperate attempt for a bunch of born and raised lifelong losers to try to make a name for themselves in whatever sorry and sad way they think they can. But you know what? Nobody, especially not me, cared about any of these chumps before, and I'm certainly not about to change my opinions on these clowns just because all of these individual nobodies who I couldn't care less about all joined in together to form one big super group of "Team I Don't Give a Shit". The bottom line is, when it comes to every single last one of these clowns, it doesn't matter which one of them it is or where their alliances lie in this whole waste of time, in the end, I can and will still beat every last one of them without even breaking a sweat. I've already beaten most of these chumps before and tonight I add just one more onto the list.
RM: Well some might say Derek Thorne might not be quite as simple as a victory as you are chalking him up to be. He's had quite an impressive run in SCW to date himself you know.
Nick: Oh, is that so? Well la-dee-freakin-da. Good for him. I guess credit where it's due, at least the SCW brass managed to dig up someone new for me to kick the living crap out of, rather than making him have to beat the holy hell out of another one of these same numbnuts for the billionth time. In this case, this Derek putz gets to be a brand new guy who you all get to watch me wipe the floor with. And you know what, maybe when compared to a lot of these other nobodies, he's doing pretty well for himself, but he's still never had to step into the ring with yours truly. You are talking about SCW's only two-time Heavyweight Champion. The man ranked #2 in the rankings throughout all of NeWA. SCW's Wrestler of the Year and winner of a grand total of FOUR SCW Awards. Good for this putz if he can make a name for himself by smacking around these others hacks that fill SCW's roster but it's time he learns the unfortunate reality that as long as yours truly is still around, his ceiling can only ever be so high. Tonight he'll step into the ring with the very best in this entire business and he will learn first hand that it is all completely true. He'll find out why I always tell people that it ain't braggin' if ya back it up. He'll get taught the reality that I'm not cocky, I'm just the best.
Nick shoves the microphone Rocky is holding away from his face and walks on off out of the scene as it fades to black.
