Well, my SCW debut was indeed a successful one, as I beat Angel Kash. Not that I didn't expect to, but still it's always fun to win your debut match. But Angel didn't live up to the hype that surrounded her. Thankfully, I don't have to rely on word of mouth from others as Jessie Salco has already risen to the occasion.
Hello, Jessie, Like you I do look forward to our match this week, and I look forward to beating you. I was impressed with your skills, no doubt, and I'm not taking you lightly in any sense. The idea is to win, not make nice with one another. No, I don't hate you, I really don't even know you. I simply know that you like comic books and music that no normal human being can understand. And that's cool. I'm not here to judge anyone. If that's your thing, go for it. But let's understand the comic book thing: I love 'em, and I followed the dream that they gave me. Just like you follow your music. It defines you as a person. Same with me.
I AM a hero. It's what I do. I've saved the world many of times, and I'm pretty darn good at it. You just may not have noticed being so wrapped up in your music. You know what that means? It means I'm doing my job correctly. I don't do it for the fame, I don't do it for the glory, I do it because it's what I love. Wouldn't you love to just be on stage with your favorite heavy metal group. That's me, only fighting monsters, demons, wizards, and ordinary, average criminals. So, maybe it's a little more exciting for my tastes, but...whatever.
Point is, You may be number contender for the roulette title, and that's all well and good, but this match means that I can rise right up those rankings, and take your spot, maybe. That sounds like a plan to me, and it's one I plan to execute come...Climax control. That name just sounds dirty...wait, this whole place is dirty, who am I kidding. It's kind of a shame that beating you could mean you lose contendership to a belt that you just earned, but that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess. Trust me, it's not my intent to just...take what you've earned, but if that honor is bestowed upon me...it's the nature of the beast, it's not fair, it's just life.
Anyway, Jessie, I wish you luck, but I want you to understand that after the match is over, I'm going to get my hand raised. But it's not a slight towards you or anything it's just that in order to be a proper role model for young children, I need to win, I need to set the example for young girls that you can do anything you set your mind to.
And to try not to listen to bands like Lamb of God.
What in the heck are they saying anyway?
Whatever, see you in the ring Jessie.
Roxi - (singing)Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
[ She casually sits, iphone ear buds in place, her bare feet resting in front of a fan, blowing on them. She's not got freshly painted toenails. ]
Roxi- (Continuing to sing) And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
[ I hate that song. But obviously, she loves it, as she jams to it. Just then, as if on cue, Vision appears. ]
Vision - Rox, I got...hey, you're not actually doing something weird.
[ She doesn't hear him. He looks a little annoyed. ]
Vision - Roxi? Hey! Hello!
[ Shouting does him no good. ]
Vision - Roxi!
[ She continues to ignore him. She checks her toenails, and begins removing the cotton balls in between her toes. Finally, she stands. ]
Roxi - (Still singing) Before you came into my life
I missed you so bad
And you should know that
I missed you so, so bad
It's hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
[ She does a goofy dance, then turns to face Vision. He waves. ]
Roxi - OHMIGOD! OHMIGOD!
[ She frantically pulls the buds out of her ears. ]
Vision - Hey.
Roxi - How...how long have you been there?
Vision - Long enough. So, you a big Carly Rae Jepsen fan?
Roxi - I hate that song. But it's...so catchy.
Vision - See... and here I thought you weren’t going to do something embarrassing.
Roxi - Ha-ha. Very funny.
Vision - I thought so.
Roxi - Whatever. Hey, where were you the other night?
Vision - I saw you tried to contact me.
Roxi - So…why didn’t you answer?
Vision - It was 3am.
Roxi - So?
Vision - I tend to sleep at that hour. I am human you know.
Roxi - You pop in at all other times.
Vision - Not 3am.
Roxi - The one time I actually needed to talk to you, and you’re not around.
Vision - Why, what’s up?
Roxi - It’s too late now, I already won my debut match.
Vision - …And?
Roxi - I think I’ll do pretty well.
Vision - Well, that’s good. I guess.
Roxi - Is there anything new?
Vision - Let me check.
[ After a view moments, he’s back. ]
Vision - Sending Jessie’s stuff now. So anyway, how goes the day off?
Roxi - It was great, til you showed up.
Vision - Aw, I’m sorry.
Roxi - You should be.
Vision - So, what’s up?
Roxi - I’m bored.
Vision - Well, this promo should hold you over.
Roxi - I guess.
Vision - Did you wanna talk about it?
Roxi - I already did.
Vision - Really, with who?
Roxi - Someone who is there when I need them.
Vision - Come on, One time and you’re not gonna let it go?
*Sigh* he’s right. It was 3am.
Roxi - I’ll let it slide this time.
Vision - Thanks.
Roxi - Honestly though, Nobody really said anything …about me. I feel kinda left out, you know?
Vision - Rox, will all due respect, you’re a tough nut to crack.
Roxi - I just figured it would be more…I don’t know…serious I guess.
Vision - Ah, cheer up, maybe they’ll get more in depth later.
Roxi - I hope so.
Vision - How’d things go with Louie?
[ She smirks ]
Roxi - I think I’m wearing him down. Eventually, He’ll just propose I imagine.
Vision - And they say you’re socially awkward.
Roxi - Hey! I am a social butterfly.
Vision - Not what I’ve heard.
Roxi - Who told you?
Vision - Force.
Roxi - How does he know anything?
Vision - You’re first assignment.
Roxi - …Oh yeah
[ 8th street Synagogue, Roxi watches intently as the Rabbi's leave for the day. Once the final one leaves and locks the door behind him, Roxi follows him. She tracks him to his apartment. Waiting until he's settled in, and having climbed to his window, she casually knocks. ]
Rabbi Kirschbaum - What the...
Roxi - HI!
[ Startled, but more confused than anything, he opens the window.]
Rabbi Kirschbaum - Who are you?
Roxi - Rabbi Kirschbaum, I'm Lady Bedlam. And I need your help.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - What...what can I do for you, my child?
Roxi - I'm not Jewish, but I need to get into the Synagogue.
[ He is shocked by the request. ]
Rabbi Kirschbaum - I...This is highly irregular.
Roxi - I don't really want to get into how I came to know what I know, but I have reason to believe that your house of God may be under attack.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - You believe this to be true.
Roxi - Yes. Not only your synagogue, but the entire city.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - That is troubling.
Roxi - Can you do this for me?
Rabbi Kirschbaum - I...I can, yes.
Roxi - Sweet, Meet you over there then, caio.
[ She climbs away, he shuts the window. ]
Rabbi Kirschbaum - Oy.
Hmmm, sounds like he has no idea what's going on there. I swear it Louie lied to me...
[ Moments later, he arrives and lets her in. Inside, things look normal. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. ]
Rabbi Kirschbaum - What do think you're going to find?
Roxi - I don't know. But there's something here.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - Please do not defile this holy place.
Roxi - No promises.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - Oy.
[ She searches for a few more minutes before finding a staircase under the pulpit. ]
Roxi - Rabbi? Did you know this was here?
Rabbi Kirschbaum - My god...No. I did not.
Roxi - Do you know what's under this place?
Rabbi Kirschbaum - No. I thought nothing.
Roxi - Well, this is not nothing.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - What do we do now?
Roxi - We aren't going to do anything. You are going to go home and leave this to me.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - Are you sure?
Roxi - Who's the one wearing spandex and a mask right now? I got this.
Rabbi Kirschbaum - If you say so.
[ With that, the Rabbi leaves, and Roxi starts her deeper investigation. ]
Roxi - Alright, Let's see how far down the rabbit hole really goes.
[ She cautiously makes her way down the stairs before coming to a locked door. ]
Roxi - Locked. Go-go gadget spy tools.
[ She takes a snake cam from her belt and puts it in the door. ]
Roxi - Whoa. That's a lot of guys....Wait...Those...that's....a cross! It's not a star of David. That can't be good.
[ She finally sets her eyes on the one running the whole show. ]
Roxi - Uh-oh. This is big.
[ With that She puts away her tools and quietly exits the synagogue. ]
Okay, recap. Drugs are being pushed out of a Synagogue, noted house of worship for Jewish people...by Christians. And to boot, a triple threat of leadership. M.I.L.F's don't mess around do they?
[ After contacting the guild, relaying the situation and calling for back-up. It arrives, In the form of Force, a bulky man who uses powerful force fields along with super strength. And Warp, who, as his name implies can teleport anywhere as long as he can see it. ]
Roxi - You guys got here fast.
Warp - It's kinda my deal.
Roxi - I know, I've heard.
Warp - Very funny.
Roxi - Anyway, All the bad guys are down below.
Warp - What are we looking at?
Roxi - We're outnumbered about 100 to 3.
[Force smirks ]
Force - I like those odds.
Roxi - I like him.
Warp - Let's go.
Roxi - So...charge in head first? go out guns blazing?
Warp - Is there a better way?
Roxi - Nope.
[ With that, they get into the Synagogue fairly easily, and Force rams through the locked door.
Roxi - Hi, we're with the Kirby company. Would you be interested in our new line of Vaccums?
[ Everyone turns to see them. As they make their way to the middle of the underground lair.]
Roxi - It also doubles as a carpet cleaner!
[ From atop a walkway, The three leaders emerge.]
Warp - Blood Priest.
Force - Mistress Haven.
[ The other man, large, with a mask over his face stares out at them. ]
Roxi - Uh...Mr. Mask?
Warp - That's Sgt. Hate.
Roxi - I knew that.
Blood Priest - Warp. You and your friends should not have come here. But, Part of me is glad you did.
[ Priest snaps his fingers and about 100 guys with guns instantly aim over the balcony at the 3 heroes in the center. ]
Roxi - ...Cool.
Blood Priest - Feel free to surrender to the power of God.
[Roxi takes a step forward.
Roxi - Can...we take minute to discuss this?
[ Roxi calls a huddle ]
Roxi - Well, whaddya think?
Warp - Force?
Force - I'll take the guns.
Warp - Think you can take them while we handle the gun problem Crab Girl? Join you as soon as we're done.
Roxi - Works for me....And it's Lady Bedlam.
[ They break the huddle]
Roxi - Yeah, we're just going to have to stop your evil scheme.
Blood Priest - Pity. I would have liked to have saved you.
[ Priest waves his hand and the guys with guns open fire. Instantly, Force shields the group. The three villians walk away. ]
Roxi - Cool.
Warp - Ready?
Roxi - It's whoop-ass time.
Warp - Let's go.
[ She runs the same direction as Haven. Haven meanwhile has escaped the Synagogue and is climbing rooftops. It's not long before Roxi catches up to her. ]
Roxi - Okay sister, why don't we have a little girl talk.
Mistress Haven - You! Again!?
Roxi - Yes, me. Again.
Mistress Haven - Why can't you just stay the hell out of my way.
Roxi - Can't they'd take away my superhero license.
Mistress Haven - I'm going to enjoy beating the shit out of you.
Roxi - Listen, Ms. I stretch every shirt I wear out with my huge boobs, You're boys are done, and now, it's just you and me.
Mistress Haven - I will Fucking kill you!
Roxi - You know, I don't think I like you.
[ Roxi pole vaults with her staff and kicks Haven in the chest, knocking her down. ]
Roxi - You have a potty mouth.
Mistress Haven - You really think you can match my skill?
Roxi - How long have you been doing this? You have all the cliché’s down.
Mistress Haven - Shut up!
[ Haven throws 6 shurikans at Roxi, 2 are deflected with her staff, and 3 miss. One, however, catches Roxi in the shoulder. ]
Ah!
Mistress Haven - Too slow.
[ Roxi, tending to her shoulder, gets punched in the face and lands hard on the ground. Haven wastes no time kicking her in the ribs. Roxi yells in pain ]
Mistress Haven - Does it hurt, BITCH!
[ Haven begins grinding her boot into Roxi's side, causing even more pain. Haven lifts Roxi to her feet and drives knees into her side. Then tosses her aside. ]
Mistress Haven - Not so tough, now, are you?
[ Roxi fights through the pain and stands, and throws a punch this is easily blocked. Haven traps her arm, and drives an elbow into her collarbone. Roxi drops to her knees to create distance, but Haven still has her arm trapped. ]
Mistress Haven - Pathetic.
[ Haven drives a knee into Roxi's face and releases her as Roxi limply falls to the ground. ]
Uhhh...she's good....really...really...good.
Mistress Haven - I believe I will kill you now. I will not waste time like those men.
[ Haven lifts Roxi to her feet, and punches her right back down. Roxi crawls away, but fires a kick to Haven's knee, causing her to back up. Roxi used the little time she bought to stand.]
Roxi - Okay, how about round 2?
[ Haven laughs.]
Mistress Haven - HA! Look at you, you're no match for me. You can barely stand.
Roxi - I'm full or surprises.
[ Haven moves in with a punch to the gut, and Roxi responds in desperation with a punch in Haven's face. Then another, and another. Then a kick to the stomach, driving Haven back.]
Roxi - So *huff* we've been fighting *huff* for this long and *huff* you're boobs have not popped out. What is that, *huff* double sided tape?
Mistress Haven - Shut up!
Roxi - I'll keep it between us girls.
[ Haven charges in again but is met with a staff shot to the stomach, and then to the jaw. She reels back, and in punched down. Haven scrambles away, visibly bleeding]
Mistress Haven - You stupid cunt! You made me bleed!
Roxi - Again with the Potty mouth?
Mistress Haven - GRRR!
[ Haven gets up and squares to fight, but then stops, and clicks a button on her wrist watch]
Mistress Haven - Another time.
Roxi - I'll be waiting.
[ A portal opens up behind Haven, and she turns and goes through it, after a second, it disappears.]
Must have had a cake in the oven.
[ Force and Warp meet her on the rooftop after she looks out into the distance.]
Warp - What happened?
Roxi - We played Twister.
Warp - You alright?
Roxi - Just...peachy.
[Without warning, Roxi collapses from pure exhaustion and the beating she received. Warp cradle carries her, checking her for injuries. ]
Warp - Force, we've got to get her to the medical bay. She has multiple injuries.
[ Force notifies HQ as the scene fades. ]
Vision - Crap, Rox. How did you ever survive.
Roxi - Force and Warp got me to the medical bay. All in all, cracked ribs, a shoulder laceration, and deep brusing is not bad. For a person with no superpowers.
Vision - How long was the re-coup time?
Roxi - About a month.
Vision - Did you get any of the Aunt Annie's pretzel's while you were there?
Roxi - ....They had Aunt Annie's?
[ Vision checks his computer ]
Vision - Oh, look at the time...
Roxi - Don't change the subject Vision!
Vision - Gotta run.
Roxi - WHAT! OH....IT'S ON NOW! I need to go talk to Herman about this
[ She leaps up, and goes to put on her costume. ]
Vision - Wait!....Who's Herman?
