(thought)I shudder the thought of knowing what goes on inside my brain, I shudder the thought of that what I could do inside the ring… knowing I tasted defeat in a long… very long time…,
A whisper in the wind you may say, poetic justice I suppose. Poetic justice of knowing deep down inside there’s a hunger burning inside of me. The hunger of undo what has been done to me…. By myself…, do I know the troubles that is inside of me? Of course I do…, I do not need a doctor to tell me that I wish to maim and bleed…,
(Doctor) “Sir? “
My face looks up at the man that is in front of me, a doctor looking up from his doctors papers for the very first time. He seems to be wet behind his ears, fresh from the university and into the real world.
“What? “
(Doctor) “I, uhm. Looking at the doctor’s papers that I have received from your company. I wonder whether you should be wrestling this coming show sir. I mean, apparently throughout the year you have succumbed many injuries and blows especially to the neck. I would suggest…,“
Goth rolls his eyes as he suddenly starts to hear a voice inside of his head.
(voice) “Don’t listen to him, you are not injured. You have not suffered so many blows like you have in your career. And yet you are still walking, talking and willing to kill aren’t you Goth? “
I chuckle hearing the voice talking to me.
(voice) “I’ve known you from you were young, when you were just simply Gerrit van der Krift. God did your mommie ever become so proud of you when you took your first steps. I knew then that I had to bring you to your true destiny in life… I…,“
(Doctor): “Seeing that you have had several injuries to your neck, I’m amazed that you are still able to turn your neck.. I…,“
Goth once again just nods, not even really listening to the young man that is trying to convince him to take a rest.
(voice) “That’s right Goth, just do what people want you to do. What they’ve told you to do for oh so many years. While I had to just bite on my lip and remain calm. Only to have my moments come inside the ring, telling you to be sadistic and cruel.. oh just like that one night in the Cell… Remember?? “
Goth’s mind runs back to that dreaded night that he cemented his legacy in GWA history, reclaiming his Universal championship belt against 11 other men. Pinning the men that he never was able to beat on his path to obtain the title.
(Doctor): “And I just cannot understand the bruises on your skull, a normal man would have needed brain surgery sir. Yet you seem to be as healthy as…..“
(voice) “Brain surgery? You hear that, there’s nothing wrong with your brain. They only want to separate you from the one thing that truly loves you. That truly understand your needs, the needs of a man that needs blood to pass the test of time. “
(Doctor) “So therefore, I suggest we are going to inform the SCW that you are in no shape or form to compete at this tag team match. I…,“
Suddenly Goth blasts his hand on the table of the doctor, causing him to react in a shocked fashion. Not clearly understanding why Goth is doing this and what is going on.
(Doctor) “Sir? “
(voice) “Sir…, he calls you a sir… funny how these letters in this man’s language is just as equally spelled as the Dutch word that would call you a nagging bitch. Is that what you allow yourself to endure Goth? It’s about time that I made that judgment call, to finally speak up to you and you better listen. “
“Shut up doc, I only came here to bang that sexy nurse that is trying to recover from the assault I dished out on her. “
(voice) “Good boy…,“
(Doctor) “What the? That’s my wife!!! “
“So what? the way the tightness around my growing member only tells me that she has not even gotten broken in by a decent size. “
(Doctor) “I should have you be arrested. “
The doctor grabs the phone, but gets stopped in his tracks by Goth as he grabs his hand on top of the headphone and the former Roulette champion slowly rises to his feet. Staring into the eyes of the fearful doctor, who is starting to get nervous of what is going on.
“Ever feared for your life doc? I mean really had the back against the wall? not knowing what would happen next? “
(voice) “Tell him!!!! “
“No doc, don’t speak…. You only have to listen to what my diagnoses of your pathetic life sounds like. “
Before the doctor can speak, he gets his throat clutched by the other hand of Goth. He has gotten around the desk of the doctor and stares him dead in the eyes while pushing him against the wall.
(Doctor) “Please….,“
(voice) “Yes beg for your life!! It won’t help you. “
Goth starts to look him dead in the eyes before starting to sniff around his face. His face is just inches away from the skin of the doctor as we see sweat slowly to emerge from his pours.
“I see fear in you doc, I guess you are just wet behind the ears and other places as well huh? But then again, you never really did answer my question now didn’t you? “
The doctor tries to speak, but is unable to as Goth has got his throat cut off
“Just like No Doubt once sang…. Don’t speak…, I know just what you’re saying….“
(voice) “A song? Oh how romantic….,“
“Ever thought of what it could have meant? Now I know she wrote it because of a long lost romance… but ever wondered what it would have meant in a situation where you would beg me to stop talking? Because you would just know what I’m saying? In a situation that I could just snap your neck at any given moment? “
(voice) “Do it!!! “
Goth is shaking his head, having his eyes closed as if he is in some sort of struggle within. Causing the doctor to be let go off his hold. The young man is catching his breath and tries to crawl away.
“DON’T GO!!! It’s not that I did anything wrong now did I doc? I mean come on!!! Who wouldn’t be slightly aggressive after losing his belt!! “
Goth punches the wall, drawing blood from his hand as the doctor looks on in shock and horror.
(voice) “That’s it, that’s the moment I’ve been waiting for. “
“You better go and take care of that slut of a wife doc, before I decide to give in to these sensations I’m feeling. Who knows I may just fill something else instead!!! “
The doctor runs out as he sees his office getting distracted as he looked back for the final time.
(voice) “Now why did you ever do that for? He wasn’t that appetising, but at least it sure beats that moaning bitch you…“
“SHUT UP!!!! “
(voice) “Oh I will Gerrit… for now….“
Suddenly Goth drops to his knees, holding his hands to his ears. As if he tries to silence the voice inside his head until he hears it no more.
“Silence, finally the silence has come to me as that nagging voice just doesn’t wish to shut the fuck up!!!! “
The anger can be heard inside the voice of the man that is now the former Roulette champion. Holding on to his head for a few moments longer before looking up again. Having his eyes being blood red as he has clearly had not much sleep in a long while
“I wish the nagging thoughts would just stop, so that I could just focus on that one and that one thing only. Regaining my championship belt… but no, I have to deal with a voice that is telling me how he knows me. What the fuck is wrong with me!!!!! “
He slams his fist on the table one more time before scratching his hand on the desk, causing his fingers to leave a trail on the table.
“I know that I will get that belt back, I must. It must be the one and only solution to this annoying thing that is yapping away at me. I never had this before and I sure as hell don’t want this to happen again. But no, the wise and smart leaders of this freaking fed puts me with him in a tag match. Is that what you want? That you want me to freaking suffer? This isn’t anger management on the deadly level you know!!!!! “
Goth runs his hand along his head. Pushing harder and harder against the brain, forcing him to have the agonizing sensation to stop.
“ I will get you champ, I will allow you to be a suffering menace to me for another week. As I begged like a mad man to get my rematch this week. I had begged, I jumped up and down the room until the cracks in the floor became visible. Hell, I even slapped the coffee lady on her way in the office, she’s 50 you know. She broke a hip and is recovering on my expenses damnit, and you know what the worst thing of it all is? That it was apparently my own freaking wish to do so!!! “
“What is so freaking wrong with me? You took away my title and now? Now I’m slowly starting to get mental. And the worst part of it all is, that I’m actually wanting it to happen to me. To lose control, to have no remorse when I stare into your eyes at any given night. Waiting for that one moment to strike. I love the thought of redeeming some sort of pleasure of hurting people. Especially you… and why? I guess it’s a way of saying how much I care…“
(voice) “ See? I told you….“
“ I thought I told you to shut up? “
A soft laughter emerges in his head as for a few moments Goth seems to enjoy it
“ I know you must be thinking, your title is not on the line. So you are safe and yet? Did you expected this? Did you expect the table to slightly turn a different side? I am here to tag along so to speak and make you understand how much I control my own destiny. My own cause in life as I wish to redeem that mistake that I made that one night. And how to do so? To take on two names… names, they are only faces with an identiy. An identity that I do not care about. I only care about redeeming my SANITY!!!!! “
Goth suddenly grabs the table with both hands and stares at it for a while, clearly in struggle as his mind is telling him one thing. But clearly he wishes to do something else.
“ No I’m not going to give in by slamming my head on this table, I’ve given in to so much more in the past. No I want to show the world that this man is the true demented champion… champion of the roulette world. A word that means so much and yet I have to deal with others. Others that I do not care about, but clearly it’s that what the world wants… and that what the world gets!!! “
With that Goth walks off as the shot slowly fades to darkness.
