Sunday, June 17th, 2012
The scene opens backstage after the conclusion of SCW's most recent supercard event, Into the Void, where SCW Heavyweight Champion Nick Jones is seen just moments after his successful title defense over Jordan "PS" Williams. Nick is pacing around the locker room area with his cell phone up to his ear, looking less than pleased as he's completely silent for a few moments, before eventually chiming in with a few uninterested responses.
Nick: Uh huh..... yeah...... yep...... I said YES!
Nick's last response shows his displeasure with the current situation far more, at which point he returns to silence as a faint noise can be heard in the background of a less than happy response from the other end of the phone. At that point, the door opens and in walks Nick's girlfriend Diana, who immediately stops in her tracks and looks rather inquisitively over at Nick, who after a moment sees her and pulls the phone away from his earning, covering up the microphone before whispering over.
Nick: This is all your fault you know.
Diana looks confused by this comment, but after a moment of thinking it over, she seems to suddenly put it all together.
Diana: Your mother?
Nick lets out a sigh that clearly confirms Diana's suspicion.
Nick: Ever since you dragged me to go pay my folks that little surprise visit, my damn phone hasn't stopped ringing.
Nick simply shakes his head at Diana, as she giggles to herself while watching on. Nick then brings the phone back up to his ear and after another moment of listening.
Nick: Mom... mom... MA! Just listen to me for one damn second, will you?..... Ok, I'm sorry I cursed at you, but will you just listen? We went over all of this already. This is the match I was telling you and dad all about when I visited last week... yes..... right, exactly... yes, that's what I said, and I did "play nice" and "fight fair"..... oh, that? Well that was, um, that was different, ok?... well yeah, I did hit him in.... yeah, there.... Hey, I won didn't I?.... Yeah, yeah, fine.... Listen, I appreciate the advice but....
Nick doesn't even get to finish his sentence before it can be heard that he has been cut off once again. At this point, Diana starts to laugh quite a bit, only to receive a dirty look in response from Nick. Nick then puts his hand back over the phone as he whispers to Diana.
Nick: Laugh it up all you want, but you don't know what this is like. Me and my parents had a fine relationship of hardly seeing each other and almost never speaking. It worked for me, it worked for them, and now it's this non-stop phone calls and e-mails. They're even asking when is the next time we can go back to visit.
Diana: So, what's wrong with that?
Nick: What do you mean what's wrong with that?!? EVERYTHING is wrong with that!
Diana: Oh stop, your parents are great and it's not like you couldn't use with a little more love and support in your life.
Nick: Don't start with that crap now.
Diana goes to respond, but Nick puts his finger up to shush her as he peels his hand off the phone and returns to the phone conversation.
Nick: Uh huh... right... yeah, that sounds great.
Nick motions towards Diana, clearly signaling her to loudly call for him, as an excuse to get off the phone. However, Diana is having no part in this, as she folds her arms across her chest and shakes her head. After a few more moments, a big smile creeps across Nick's face and Diana, upon seeing it, starts to look a little worried.
Nick: Oh what's that, Diana?... you do?... Oh ok... Sorry mom, I don't mean to cut you off, but Diana says she really needs to talk to you RIGHT NOW about something VERY important. So here she is.... yeah, love you too mom, bye.
With that, Nick takes the phone and tosses it over to Diana as he is now smiling ear to ear. Diana, unsure of what else to do, then raises the phone up to her ear and starts to speak.
Diana: Hi Misses Jones..... right, sorry.....
Diana glares at Nick as he chuckles to himself and walks right past her, out of the locker room. Just before closing the door behind him, Nick leans back in and whispers towards Diana.
Nick: You two ladies have a fun little chat, alright?
Diana puts her hand up and looks as though she's about to flip Nick off, but before she can be seen doing so, Nick ducks out and closes the door behind him. Nick then proceeds to walk down the hallway in the backstage area, passing by a number of other wrestlers and stage hands along his way. Nick eventually comes up to door which has a sign on it stating: "Mark Ward: Co-President", at which he makes a stop and quickly knocks on the door. Before a response can even be given, Nick opens the door and walks straight in to see his good friend "Hot Stuff" in the midst of disposing of his torn clothes from during the Bombshell Free-for-All. Nick gives a quick look around and seems rather confused before addressing Mark.
Nick: Hey limey, what the hell happened to you?
Mark stops what he's doing and glares back over at Nick.
HS: Are you kidding me? Didn't you watch the show?
Nick: Since when is there anything worth watching that doesn't involve me already being in front of the camera?
Mark shakes his head to Nick's comment, as Nick simply shrugs, seemingly unaware of any issue with what he's said.
HS: Whatever... although credit where it's due, that was a hell of a match you had out there, yank.
Nick: Are you surprised by this?
HS: No, actually what I'm saying is I was right. You were so worried about the stipulations of the match, but I told you as long as you played the game the right way, then you had nothing to worry about.
Nick: Well you can feel free to pat yourself on the back all you like, but I was still the one who got into that ring with your boy and the two guys you and Christian and still walked out as the champ.
HS: Credit where it's due, all I'm saying though, is you took my advice and it helped you pick up the victory.
Nick: Yeah, but... well... the thing is...
Mark chuckles to himself as Nick stumbles over his words for a moment before letting out a sigh and responding in a lower, quieter tone.
Nick: Thanks for the advice... I guess.
HS: Glad to help. You should have seen the hilarious reactions we were getting back here when you actually had a clean break.
Nick: Yeah, I could just see the look of disappointment all over Bo's face on that one. He definitely never saw that coming.
HS: Certainly not. I think he was just waiting for the perfect excuse to lay you out, but you never gave it to him. In the end, it helped you pull off the victory... barely.
That comment gets a momentary scowl from Nick, but Mark doesn't even acknowledge it, as he hits down at his desk and pulls out his phone and starts to play with it. Meanwhile, after a moments thought about Mark's comment, Nick simply shrugs it off.
Nick: Hey, a win's a win, right? Although credit where it's due, that old bastard put up quite the fight.
HS: Yeah, well I warned you about that part too, you should have listened to me there.
Nick: Maybe so, but it's over now so I'm not going to worry about that.
HS: I wouldn't bet on that, if I know Jordan as well as I think I do, he's probably not done with you just yet.
Nick: What do you mean?
HS: Well it was a close match you had there. He can nearly feel that belt around his waist, and right now he's thinking all he needs is one more shot to make it his. Not to mention, while you wrestled a mostly clean match, you did manage to pull one of your old tricks out there in the end.
Nick: I have no idea what you're talking about.
A sheepish grin comes across the face of Nick as Mark simply shakes his head at him.
Nick: I hear what you're saying though.
HS: But let me guess, you'll be sure to let him, the fans and all of SCW know that he's already had his shot and failed, right?
Nick is hesitant to respond as he seems to be thinking it over before giving a bit of shrug. Nick then opens his mouth as if to speak, but is interrupted as a beeping noise comes from within his pocket. With that, Nick reaches in and pulls out his cell phone. After doing a couple of things on the phone and looking at it for a moment, a smile comes across his face.
Nick: Well would you look at that, now THAT is what I'm talking about.
HS: Why, what the hell was that?
Nick: My boy Jimmy just shot me a text, and apparently he got me booked for an appearance on the Tonight Show next week.
HS: Oh that? Yeah, I already knew about that.
Nick: What do you mean you already knew about that? Jimmy JUST got it booked. How the hell did you find out?
HS: The way the rest of the world already has, and the way you would have if you weren't still living in the damn stone age. Here, look for yourself.
Mark then takes the cell phone that he's been playing around with for the past few minutes and turns it towards Nick, showing him his twitter phone app running and the following tweet shown: "James Mason @JimmyMoney: SCW Champ Nicky Jones, is gonna be on the Tonight Show, baby!" Nick reads the message before looking back up at Mark.
Nick: What is this crap? More of that twatter nonsense?
HS: It's twitter you imbecile. Although I will say, if it was twatter I'd be very happy with that considering that would mean instead of looking at tweets, I'd be looking at...
Mark stops himself mid-sentence, not quite completing his thought.
HS: Anyway, back to my original point, what are you a 90-year old wondering what those damn whippersnappers are doing? Get with it already.
Nick: Yeah, yeah... whatever. The point is I don't need to piss my life away, wasting my time on this mindless garbage. Jimmy can get his crap together and make sure I know what's going on first and foremost, beyond that I could care less what the rest of you do or don't know from your stupid website.
Mark returns his attention back to his phone as he quiet mumbles to himself in response to Nick's comments.
HS: We'd see if you still felt that way if you saw some of the crap that's been thrown around on there about you.
Nick: What was that?
HS: Me? Oh nothing, I didn't say anything.
Nick: Whatever. Well the point is, maybe you can pull yourself away from that phone, and of course your head out of your ass, long enough to watch your big star keep making you a whole lot of money.
HS: Yeah, yeah... just do me a favor and don't piss off our paying customers on a stage that big, as you are really so exceptional at doing.
Nick: Who? Me? You can't be thinking of me.
HS: Oh yeah, I must be thinking of the other heavyweight champion we have who goes out of his way to piss off everyone he meets and enjoys the hell out of it along the way.
Nick: That was the old me. Haven't you heard? I'm a changed man.
HS: Sure you are, just keep up the nice guy act for at least the next few days until this show.
Nick: Not a problem, boss man. I mean come on, give me a little credit, it's not like I'm going to showing up on some white trash show like Jerry Springer or Judge Judy, right?
Neither Nick nor Mark said a word in response to that, as they simply stare straight into the camera completely silently for a moment before turning back to each other and continuing their conversation.
Nick: Besides, it's honestly gotten a whole lot easier than I ever thought. You know people actually start acting a whole lot nicer to you all of a sudden?
HS: You mean when you stop acting like a monstrous asshole to them all of the time? Yeah, go figure, who would have thought.
Nick: If it's so obvious, then what's your excuse?
Mark quickly goes to respond, but just stops as he's actually caught without a response for the moment as Nick laughs at the sight of this.
Nick: You think on that one for a while and let me know when you've got a comeback. Later limey.
Nick turns and walks away, but Mark puts up his hand as if to stop Nick. Nick hesitates and looks back to Mark, who still remains speechless. As Mark still comes up with no comeback, he just waves Nick off who turns and walks off in a fit of laughter, leaving Mark's office as the scene fades.
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The following week...
The scene fades back in to the backstage area of Studio 11 of the NBC Burbank lot in Burbank, California, the location of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. In the green room is scene Nick Jones along with Diana and his cousin and entourage member, Big B. Along with them back there seems to be some random no-name band who are set to close out the show, as they stand off to the side, hanging out amongst themselves as Nick, Diana and B sit on the couch in front of the TV, watching the show, where it can be seen that Leno is currently interviewing the first guest of the night, Christian Bale, who is promoting his new film, The Dark Knight Rises. As the three of them watch, Nick looks rather displeased and makes the reason why quite clear.
Nick: I'm the SECOND guest? What a load of crap this is.
Diana: You know I love you babe, but come on, this guy is coming out with a new blockbuster film. You really thought you were going to be on before him?
Nick: I should have been, but if that's too much to ask of these idiots around here, Jimmy could have at least gotten me booked on another day where I would have been headlining. I mean, do you see some of the complete losers they get as the first guests on some nights? Some of them aren't even famous enough to wipe Leno's ass on TV, never mind be interviewed by him.
Diana: That's quite the lovely picture you paint. Thanks for that hun.
Nick: The point is that if they want people tuning in, they need to put the big money draws out there from the start. I mean, look at this, this guy is supposed to be some big shot and this doof over here clearly couldn't care less.
As Nick says this, he motions over to the other end of the couch where Big B is seated, paying no attention to the show nor the conversation as he intently reads off of his cell phone.
Diana: I hardly think he's the greatest unit of measure to make any determinations based on.
Nick: Why not? Most of dipshits who waste their time watching garbage like this are just as dumb as this moron.
Nick then nudges Big B as he finishes the last statement, causing B to look up from his phone for the first time as he looks over at both Nick and Diana.
Big B: What? Did somebody say my name?
Nick: Well... sort of. Don't worry about it.
Big B: Oh ok.
Nick: What the hell are you doing anyway?
Big B: Just reading some stuff off of twitter.
Nick: Really? You're still hooked on this stupid crap too? Let me guess, you're reading every last word that little teddy bear loving nutjob has to say, right?
Big B: No, of course not.... I already read everything he said.
Nick: There's a shock.
Big B: I was reading some of the smack talk going on amongst the guys wrestling this week. Some pretty cool stuff.
Nick: Oh yeah, I'm sure it's real page-turning material they've got there.
Big B: What do you mean? There aren't any pages. It's on my phone.
Nick looks at Big B completely dumbfounded before putting his hands into his face as he shakes his head. He eventually turns his attention back to his cousin.
Nick: Of course, how silly of me. Thanks for the help.
Big B: You're welcome. I didn't get it either at first. But anyway, it's really cool... I get to read all of the cool stuff people are saying this week, lots of trash talking from guys like...
At this point, Big B starts to list the names of one SCW superstar after another, but Nick is quick to stop listening as he turns his attention back to Diana, as they continue their conversation with Big B heard faintly in the background still talking.
Nick: So you see what I'm talking about? THAT crap is more interesting to this buffoon then watching the hacks this show has as their top guests.
Diana: I'm starting to see your point here.
Nick: Yeah, it's absolutely...
Nick stops himself in mid-sentence as he spins back around towards Big B, putting his hand up to B in order to stop him as he's going down the list.
Nick: Who the hell did you just say?
Big B: What?
Nick: No... who?
Big B: Who what?
Nick: Shutup stupid... did you just mention Rage?
Big B: Um... maybe. Why?
Nick: This would be the same Rage who I'm defending my title against AGAIN this week?
Big B: Maybe.
Nick: Well did you or didn't you?!
Big B: I guess so.
Nick: So that chump is talking trash on that twatter crap?
Big B: Twitter.
Nick: Whatever! But you're telling me that little shit is running his mouth about me, behind my back, like a scared little punk?
Big B: I don't know.
Nick: Just give me that damnit!
Nick reaches into Big B's hand and rips his cell phone right out from him, B goes to reach to grab it back but Nick quickly just shoves him away and looks at the phone, which is already on Rage's twitter page. Nick takes a quick look at it, and upon seeing some of the recent tweets made regarding him by Rage, Nick's face starts to turn beet red.
Nick: Are you kidding me with this crap?!? That little punk think he can be a big tough guy typing on some pansy little website I don't even look at it? Well I'm going to tell him how that's going to work out for him right now. How the hell do you write something on this stupid thing?
Big B: You can't do that, if you type anything on there it'll come up under my account!
Nick: Fine you big baby... here.
Nick takes Big B's phone and throws it back at B. Nick then takes out his own phone and starts to mess around with it.
Nick: I'll take care of this my damn self.
From there, Nick continues to type away on his phone, conceivably working his way towards setting up a twitter account. That is, Nick suddenly completely stops what he is doing, takes a deep breath and looks back up from his phone.
Nick: You know what? Enough of this crap. There's a reason I don't waste my time on that stupid website. I actually have a life. I'm capable of speaking to other human beings face to face, and I'm not too much of a pansy to make my opinions known straight from my own mouth, not hiding behind some stupid phone or keyboard. I mean really, how big of a loser do you have to be to waste your time on this stupid ass thing. Am I right?
Diana nods along to Nick's comments as Big B looks upset, clearly taking it rather personally as he spends so much of his time on Twitter.
Nick: The truth is, all of this is pure nonsense. He can talk on and on all he wants but in the end, all that matters is what happens when the two of us step in that ring. We've already done this little dance once before, and we know how it all turned out that time.
Diana: That's the spirit, now put that stupid thing away.
Nick puts his phone away, but at that very same time, Big B, who has gone back to reading off of his phone, bursts into laughter. Nick and Diana both shoot Big B dirty looks and upon noticing this, he's quick to stop the laughter and gets very serious before responding.
Big B: That wasn't about you... I promise.
Nick: Good thing. I wouldn't want to have to kick your ass too.
Big B returns to his phone as Nick and Diana continue watching the interview with Christian Bale, which appears to be wrapping up. A few moments later, the door to the green room opens up and one of the Tonight Show stage hands walks into the room and looks right at Nick.
Stage hand: You're that Nick Jonas guy, right? We're almost ready for you out on stage.
The red look reappears on Nick's face upon hearing the stage hands remarks as he sits up in his seat, leaning over towards the stage hand.
Nick: Nick JONAS?!? Are you fu...
Nick once again stops himself in mid-sentence, instead choosing to take another deep breath, lowering his shoulders and calmly sitting back onto the couch as he brings a big smile across his afce.
Nick: You must be mistaken, that is Nick JONES, with an E.
Stage hand: Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about that sir.
Nick: Not a problem, I understand it was a simple mispronunciation. I'm sure you see countless people come and go from here every day, it's hard to get every name perfect.
Stage hand: Thank you sir, I really appreciate you being so understanding.
Diana lets out a chuckle in regards to that last comment, and Nick quickly shoots a glance over at her as the stage hand seems somewhat confused by it, before eventually continuing on.
Stage hand: We should be ready for you in just a minute. Once the commercial break comes up, we'll bring you out towards the stage and you'll just wait on Mr. Leno's introduction of you as your cue.
Nick: Sounds great. Thanks so much for your help.
Stage hand: Not a problem Mr. Jones.
The stage hand then turns and leaves the green room, closing the door behind him. As the door closes, the smile quickly disappears off of Nick's face as he once again looks annoyed.
Nick: What a dumbass.
Despite clearly trying to hold it in, Diana can't help but left out some laughter as Nick shoots her a look.
Diana: What?! He thought you were a freakin' Jonas brother. Come on, that's funny.
Nick: Oh yeah, a real riot. I swear sometimes I wonder if you're just as dumb as this putz.
Nick motions over towards Big B as he says this, who now appears to be listening to the conversation and appears to be less than pleased by this comment. However, Diana is the first to chime in with a response.
Diana: Hey now, I think that's just a bit overly insulting, don't you think?
Big B: Yeah, what she said!
Big B then thinks for a moment about the implications of Diana's follow up comment.
Big B: Hey, wait a second!
B attempts to point out his outrage, however it falls on def ears as neither Nick nor Diana appear to be listening to him at all as they continue on their conversation just between the two of them.
Nick: Yeah, I guess you're right. That one was a little over the top, sorry about that.
Diana: It's ok, I forgive you my lovely little Jonas you.
Nick: Oh yeah? Well... at least I'm not dating a Jonas!
Diana: Um... good one?
Nick: Shut it, woman. Just sit here quietly and watch the rest of your stupid Batman interview.
The two turn back to the monitor at which point Jay Leno and Christian Bale begin to wrap up their interview. After a quick clip from the upcoming movie and a couple of follow comments, Leno then starts to wrap things up. He can then be heard doing the setup for the commercial break.
Leno: Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be right back with Nick Jones!
Leno and Bale can then be chatting off to the side as they crew setups the commercial break period for when they air the show that evening. At that point, the door opens back up as the stage hand is standing there once again.
Stage hand: We're ready for you. If you would just follow me right this way, Mr. Jones.
Nick gets up and before he walks away, gives Diana a quick peck on the cheek and points over at Big B.
Nick: Keep an eye on him. Last thing I need is for that idiot to break anything, there's a lot of expensive stuff around here.
Diana laughs in response as Big B seems less than amused by that comment. Nick then follows the stage hand out of the green room and down the hall where the stage hand then sets Nick up right behind a curtain.
Stage hand: Just wait right here for a minute, then you'll hear Mr. Leno give his introduction and then as soon as the band starts to play, walk out through this curtain and head to your right, and you'll see Mr. Leno right there waiting to greet you.
Nick: I think I can handle that.
Stage hand: Ok great, good luck.
The stage hand walks off as Nick stands waiting and listening. After a few minutes go by, Nick seems to be getting inpatient as he begins to check the time, first on his watch and then immediately after on his cell phone. Finally, things can be heard to start up again on the other side of the curtain at which point Jay Leno's voice can be heard once again.
Leno: Next up, we have a man who, for the past 6 months, has been the Heavyweight Champion of the Las Vegas-based wrestling company, SCW. You also may be familiar with him from his previous reign as World Champion in the extremely popular worldwide wrestling company GXW. He also has an autobiography being released in the coming months titled, "Rise to the Best". Ladies and gentlemen... Nick Jones!
The Tonight Show band then begins to play an instrumental version of "Cocky" by Kid Rock as Nick walks out through the curtain with a big smile on his face. Nick and Jay meet up over on the stage area and the two shake hands before walking back over towards the interview area. Jay gets behind his desk and sits down and Christian Bale, who is still there, moves over to the next seat, leaving the one closest to Leno's desk for Nick. The two men shake hands before both taking a seat as the Tonight Show band finishes up their song. Leno waits a moment for the crowd to die down before beginning.
Leno: It's great to meet you Nick, welcome to the show.
Nick: Thanks Jay, it's great to be here. Thanks for having me on the show.
Nick then stops and turns in his seat to face towards Christian Bale.
Nick: And nice to meet you Batman.
The crowd laughs as a smile comes across the face of Bale.
Bale: Right back at ya champ.
Leno: I think that would be a heck of match to watch. The Heavyweight Champ and Batman in the ring one on one. I think everyone would like to see that, right?
Leno turns to the crowd who immediately start cheering and applauded as both Nick and Christian only laugh.
Nick: Yeah, but just a word of warning Batty, you don't get to bring millions of dollars worth of armor, weapons and vehicles into the ring with you.
Bale: Well then you can count me out.
Nick: Hope about I make you a deal, we'll make it a handicap match and you can bring your boys Alfred and Lucius Fox along with you.
Bale: No offense to Michael or Morgan, but I think I can speak for all three of us when I saw we'll pass thanks.
Nick merely chuckles in response before turning his attention back to Leno.
Leno: Well it was worth a shot. Now Nick, why don't you give as a quick recap of your current situation? A lot of people in our audience and at home certainly know you from your days in the world phenomenon of GXW, but might not be as familiar with your current situation.
Nick: Sure thing Jay. I'm currently working for a great company by the name of Sin City Wrestling which as I'm sure you can all figure out for yourselves, is based out of Las Vegas.
Leno: That must be great being out there.
Nick: Well that all depends on the day. There's always plenty to do for a night out on the town or have a little fun gambling, but it's not much of a place for a peaceful night at home and it's really not a fun way to finish up a night by losing all of the money you just earned by spending a half hour of getting punched in the face and kicked in the groin.
Leno: I'm sure Christian, I mean Batman, over here can relate.
Bale: No way, Jay. That's the beauty of the movie biz, I let the stunt doubles take all of the kicks to the groin.
The crowd laughs as Nick turns towards Christian and pats him on the back.
Nick: Well if you ever want to experience it for yourself, that match offer will be on the table.
Leno: Now Nick, why don't you tell us a little more about SCW and your time there.
Nick: Well SCW was started up as a small independent company run by two pretty big wrestling stars in their own right, Christian Underwood and of course, my good friend and one of the biggest names of all time, "Hot Stuff" Mark Ward.
The crowd cheers at the names as Nick moves his hands up, encouraging them to get even louder.
Nick: So once they got things going, word came my way and I decided to join up. Fast forward some time and here we are. The company has grown by leaps and bounds, now we are not only going strong in Vegas, but we're regularly having shows out here in California and not long ago did a European tour. Top that off with some TV deals and plenty of opportunities to catch our shows streaming live online and things are really moving. Plus it doesn't exactly hurt things to have someone so fantastically awesome as the SCW Heavyweight Champion for 6 months and counting.
Leno: Well at least you're modest.
Nick: Oh that? That's nothing, trust me. This is about as modest and PG as you can hope to get me.
Leno: Fair enough. Now why don't you tell us about your most recent match? I actually caught it and for those of you who don't know, Nick here was the top billing on the SCW's biggest show to date and in what some have argued, was the biggest match to date.
Nick: That's right. SCW just ran it's last supercard, Into the Void, where I defended my title against another big name in the wrestling business that I'm sure a lot of your watchers will know, Jordan Williams.
The fans again cheer as Nick nods along with their approval.
Nick: The two of us got into that ring and put on an amazing show for everyone to see. Credit where it's due, Jordan was a lot bigger challenge than I had anticipated, and he put up one h...
Nick stops mid-word and clears his throat, as a laugh starts to come from the crowd upon their realization that Nick was about to use some not so PG language.
Nick: ... um, heck of a fight. In the end though, there's a reason I was introduced onto your show as the champion, as when all was said and done I walked out the victor.
Leno: That's true, although what some of our fans may not know, you didn't exactly get the win in the most honest of fashions.
A boo comes from the crowd as Nick gives a little chuckle.
Nick: What can I say? A win's still a win, right? But credit where it's due, that old man gave me my toughest challenge since I've stepped back into the ring.
Leno: Hey there, you better be careful how you start throwing that "old man" phrase around. If that guy is old, what does it make guys like me?
Nick: I don't think you want the answer to that one, Jay.
Leno laughs in response before continuing on.
Leno: You're probably right on that one. Now you've got another big match on the upcoming episode of SCW's weekly show, Climax Control, isn't that right?
Nick: That's right. On the heels of my big victory I have already been thrown into another title defense this coming Sunday.
Leno: Already? Don't you get a little break after that last defense?
Nick: That's not how the wrestling biz works. No rest for the weary, Jay. The fans want to see more title matches and so that's what they're going to get. So this week it's a one on one match, me versus another SCW's big up and comers, Rage. It should be a match, the kid's got some serious talent, but unfortunately he's just not there quite yet.
Leno: What makes you say that?
Nick: Well he's already gotten one shot at me. At the supercard before the one we just had, he and I headlined the show in another title match. He put up a decent fight, but in the end I obviously walked out still as the champion. Clearly the powers that be have seen enough out of him that they like him enough to give him another shot, but it's only be two months and I'm not sure he's ready to do anything that's going to lead to any different of an outcome this time.
Leno: Well it would seem there are some out there who feel differently, considering that this match has been booked.
Nick: I know Rage certainly feels differently, he's made that crystal clear on countless occasions since the day I beat him. Good for him that he has that kind of confidence in himself that he thinks all it takes is one more opportunity for him to change the outcome, but I've been doing this for a while now and I know from my own personal experiences in the past, it's a whole lot easier said than done.
Leno: I guess we'll have to tune in on Sunday to find out for sure. Best of luck to you in that match.
Nick: Thanks Jay, but you don't need luck when you're the best.
Nick smiles widely as Leno chuckles in response.
Leno: And there's more of that modesty we all love. Now moving off of the wrestling topic for a bit, why don't you tell us about this other project you have going on. You have a book coming out soon, an autobiography that, from what I've heard, tells a very interesting path you took to get to where you are now.
Nick: That's right and just so everyone knows, it's all me, none of this ghost-writer nonsense. The book is titled "Rise to the Best", which I'm sure you just love Jay. I think it's really going to grasp people's interested, because as you said, it's not your typical path to the wrestling business. There's been a lot of really success wrestling books out there but let's be honest, after a while you feel like you're reading the same thing over and over. A bunch of people who were little superfans as kids, got older and immediately decided that's what they wanted to do, got beat up for a while in training and then scoured some bottom rung organizations before eventually climbing their way up to the top. Don't get me wrong, it's a great story, but it's been done dozens of times before. I don't think you need to be a wrestling fan to appreciate this book, because the truth is there's hardly a word about the business throughout the early stages of this book. I mean if you asked me 10 years ago I never in a million years would have guessed I would be a professional wrestler. There's a lot of interesting info to pull from my early life and my very nontraditional path to this business and the rapid climb is far from the norm. I think people will really enjoy it.
Leno: That sounds great, Nick. Once again that's "Rise to the Best" by Nick Jones, and watch for it's release in the coming months. Now Nick, after the break I hear you're going to show me a few simple wrestling moves. That way I can fight my way through these mobs of insane fans following me around all the time.
Nick: Yeah, sure... something like that. We're just going to make sure you can defend yourself.
Leno: That's great, but you do realize that I have actually stepped into a wrestling ring myself before, right?
Nick: Oh, I'm well aware and while I like that you have an appreciation for our business, let's not kid ourselves. When you stepped into the ring of a company that once had David Arquette as its World Champion, how much is that really worth?
Leno: I just want to know why I never got a title shot, I bet I could have taken Arquette down.
Nick smiles and laughs before responding.
Nick: I certainly don't doubt it.
Leno: Alright, well that sounds great. We'll be right back with more of Nick Jones!
The Tonight Show band starts to play as they cue to the commercial break. Leno then leans over and starts to talk to Nick on the side.
Leno: Great job there Nick, I think that interview went great.
Nick: Thanks Jay, that went a lot better than I would have imagined. I don't think even I knew had that much capacity to be nice in me.
Jay laughs in response, seeming to think Nick is laughing, although Nick is quite straight faced with the comment and follows it up without any laughter.
Leno: Well I was glad to see you did, I wasn't sure if you were going to come out here playing up to more of your silly "bad guy" shtick that you do in the ring there. I'm glad you didn't, because the fans of this show want to see the real you, not some silly act.
The serious look on Nick's face turns to one of annoyance with Leno's last comment.
Leno: Don't get me wrong, you know I'm a fan of the show you guys put on, but you don't see the actors coming out here and pretending all of the fake stuff they do is real.
Nick now looks even more annoyed, and can be seen gritting his teeth to keep from having an outburst, before eventually responding through those gritted teeth.
Nick: Right... I totally get what you're saying.
Leno: Glad to hear it. Let's go get setup over on the other side of the stage for this moves segment. This should be great.
Nick: Yeah, let's do that.
Leno gets up and walks over to the side stage area as Nick follows behind him, staring at him with a very stern look the whole way. As they get over there, a few stage hands get both Nick and Leno set up in their proper positions in front of the camera. After a few moments the camera crew then gives their cue, at which point the Tonight Show band begins to play the music coming back from commercial and as it starts, Jay Leno begins to speak again.
Leno: We're back here with professional wrestling superstar Nick Jones. Now Nick, you're going to show me some moves I can use in order to survive the mean streets of Burbank, is that right?
Nick: That's right Jay. I know how tough it is outside of this studio, and I want to make sure you stay safe. We all know there's probably some tall, lanky, oranged haired guy out there looking for revenge and just waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.
The crowd bursts into laughter as Nick smiles widely and Jay shakes his head while not being able to quite help from laughing.
Leno: I appreciate that, and along with the idea of keeping me safe, we're going to make sure you're not showing me these moves on me. So would our dummies, I mean helpers, please come join us out on the stage.
The fans give a round of applause as two young men in their early 20s walk out onto the stage by Jay and Nick.
Leno: To all you watching at home, this is the great experiences you can have as an unpaid intern at the Tonight Show. If you're lucky, maybe one day you can get beat up by a professional wrestler too!
The crowd laughs as the two men play up to it, both smiling and shrugging before one of them puts up his fists as if he's ready to fight.
Leno: Alright, calm down now. Let's start off with the most important thing: did you two sign those waivers?
Both men give two thumbs up in response to Leno as the crowd laughs again.
Leno: Alright then I think we're good to go. So Nick, what are you going to start us off with?
Nick: Well Jay, first things first, I'm going to show you how to do one of the simplest and easiest to apply maneuvers in all of wrestling, but when done properly, it can also be amongst the most effective out there.
Leno: Sounds great, what is it?
Nick: The sleeper hold.
Leno: The sleeper hold? That even SOUNDS boring. How much could it possibly hurt?
The crowd laughs as Nick smiles while shaking his head at Jay.
Nick: Does that mean you're volunteering to be the first guinea pig?
Leno: I wouldn't want to take such an opportunity from our interns. So how does it work?
Nick: Ok, now the one key to this move is you need to be behind your opponent in order to apply it. So you either need to approach from behind or duck behind him and if you can't do that, you'll need to be pulling a different move out of your arsenal, but we'll get to that later.
Leno: Alright, so what do you do then?
Nick: Well the first then you need to do is put your arm around their neck and get the inside of your elbow right under their chin, just like this.
Nick steps behind one of the interns as he begins to put on the beginnings of a sleeper hold with just his left arm to start.
Nick: Got it? From there, you want to lock it in, so you bring up your other arm, using it to tie your arms up around him, while using your free hand to put pressure on the top and back of your opponents hand, pushing him forward into your other arm, really tightening on the fold and forcing them into it.
Nick then takes his other arm and quickly locks in the sleeper hold somewhat tightly for just a moment. While it's locked in, the intern grasps at Nick's arm and is gasping for air, at which point Nick quickly releases the hold. The intern bends over, putting his hands on his knees and breathing deeply as Leno watches on nodding his head.
Nick: As you can see, it's pretty effective rather quickly if done right. Now why don't you give it a shot Jay.
Leno: Alright, I'm pretty sure I've got this one.
Leno gets behind the second intern and in one felt swoop, latches a rather sloppy looking sleeper hold on him, and then quickly begins to take the intern by the head, and shake around in the process, sending both himself and the intern flailing around all over the place as Nick, and the crowd, watch on laughing. After a few moments, Leno removes the hold and the intern dramatically takes a spill on the ground, before getting up laughing and to a big applause from the crowd.
Leno: Not too shabby, huh?
Nick: That sure was... something.
Leno: Yeah, but you're not going to be able to get every opponent from behind and more than that, I'm looking to make a point with my moves.
Nick: So what exactly are you looking for?
Leno: I want you to teach me a move that's going to really rub some salt into the wounds of my opponent. Make a guy regret ever messing with Big Jay. You know what I'm saying?
Nick: I think I've got the perfect thing in mind for you "Big Jay".
Nick uses his fingers his quotes as he says that, drawing more laughs from the crowd.
Nick: This is a personal favorite of mine and I feel like it really drives home the point you're looking to make. I think it easily has to be the move of mine most hated by my opponents.
Leno: I'm liking the sound of this already.
Nick: It's nothing overly complex and you can do it to anyone, anywhere at any time, because it's really just a punching combo, but the real key is the kind of punching combo that it is and of course, you can't hit like a girl... no offense ladies.
The crowd responds with a mix of boos and cheers to that comment, clearly divided up amongst the men and women in the crowd, which draws some laughs from Nick.
Nick: So the first thing is to make sure you punch properly. You've got to make sure you put your wait into it. You can't be flailing your arms around and expect to do a whole lot of damage. You need to get your balance, set yourself up and then lean into it. Now kid, I'm going to show how this is done, but don't worry, I'm not actually going to hit you. I will get pretty close however, so if there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's don't move an inch.
Nick sets the intern he put the sleeper hold on the first to right in front of him, setting them up so their sideways to the crowd. Nick then slowly goes through and shows the proper way to throw a punch, not hitting the intern in the process, before doing it again the second time.
Nick: Now the what drives it home is the third punch in the three-punch-combo, but before that let's make sure you can actually thrown a decent punch. I don't trust you not to punch this kid in the face, so practice on me instead.
Nick moves the other intern out of the way and stands right in front of Leno.
Leno: But aren't you worried I'm going to hit you instead?
Nick: Jay, buddy, I've taken a whole lot of hits from guys a lot bigger than you. I'm pretty sure I'll be just fine. Besides, I'm confident you're way too scared to actually hit me.
Leno: Well I'm not going to argue with that.
Leno then goes through the motions of throwing a punch at Nick, pulling up just short. Jay then goes ahead and throws a second punch, pulling up short again. Nick watches and nods to Jay once he's finished.
Nick: Not too bad, you would've creamed that little scrawny Arquette.
Leno: That's what I'm saying!
Nick: Alright now here's the time you really drive home the point. After two punches you'll already have your opponent stunned, so this last one you're going to put every last ounce of energy you have left into, and all of your weight, to really take this guy down. But first, you have to make your point, and that's why you do this little move. A slight lift under the chin, a kiss to the fist and then put him down. It goes a little something like this.
Nick turns back towards the intern he was paired up against as Jay goes back over towards the one he was with. Nick starts to set the move up as Jay follows suit right behind him step for step. Nick puts his hand under the interns chin, lifting his head up before pulling back and kissing his fist. Nick then looks back to Leno as he does the same things and smiles and nods to him. Nick then unleashes and flies a fist right at the interns face. Nick goes to pull back, but the intern ends up flinching and moves forward right into the shot, causing Nick to place the intern right in the face and lay him out right in the middle of the stage, while on the other side Leno comes nowhere close to hitting the other intern. Nick looks down at the laid out intern in a bit of shock as a member of Leno's medical staff runs out onto the set. Nick then loops over at Leno and shrugs his shoulders at him.
Nick: I told him not to move.
Leno: Well then, I think it's time for another commercial break. Nick, thanks for coming out and showing me a few moves. We'll be right back!
The band plays their song on the way out to the commercial break as Leno walks right up next to Nick, but before he can say anything, Nick quickly chimes in.
Nick: Sorry about that Jay, didn't mean for that to happen.
Leno: Ah, it's fine, the audience is going to love it. I'm sure the kid will be fine and besides, we really did make him sign a waiver, so no worries right?
Nick: Well if you're not worried, I'm certainly not. It was a great time, thanks for having me on.
Leno: Not a problem, come back anytime.
Nick and Jay then shake hands before Nick walks off the stage, out through the curtain to the backstage area. As soon as he gets back there, Diana and Big B are already standing right there waiting for him. As he gets up to them Diana quickly chimes in with a question.
Diana: That was crazy. But I have to ask, did you really feel bad about knocking that kid out?
Nick doesn't respond immediately, but his immediate laughter answers the question before even he can.
Nick: Are you kidding me? Of course not. You think I really give a crap? Man, I'm better at this being nice nonsense than I thought, even you are starting to buy it.
Diana: I don't know, I'm starting to think spending all of this time trying to pretend you're nice, and having people be so nice to you in return is beginning to rub off on you.
Nick: That's a frightening thought.
At that point, Nick then turns to Big B who is standing there quietly listening.
Nick: What about you? What did you think of the interview?
Big B hesitates for a moment as he thinks the question over.
Big B: Was that really Batman?
Nick: You're an idiot. Let's get out of here.
Nick takes Diana by the hand and starts to walk, leaving Big B behind with a confused look on his face.
Big B: Well was it?!?
Big B then starts to run after Nick and Diana as the scene fades.
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Earlier today...
The scene opens up in garage area of the MVP Sports Unlimited in Citrus Heights, California. A black stretch limousine pulls up right outside of the entrance to the backstage area and a moment later, the door opens up and filing out is the familiar faces of Nick Jones' entourage, as Big B, Tony, Jimmy and Max all climb out, followed by Diana and eventually Nick himself, carrying a bag in one hand and his SCW Heavyweight Championship belt in the other. As Nick closes the door behind him, he turns and goes to walk inside, but is immediately intercepted by the appearance of SCW Head Reporter Pussy Willow, who runs up to him with a microphone in hand and a cameraman along with her.
PW: Nick! Nick! If you have a minute I would love to get your thoughts on some things.
Nick: How can I help you this time Misses Gigantic...
Pussy Willow cuts Nick off before he can finish his statement.
PW: That's Ms. Rocky Mountains that you're thinking of, SCW's other backstage reporter. I am...
Nick: Oh right, you're that vagina flower broad.
PW: Pussy Willow.
Nick: Yeah, yeah, that's pretty much what I said. So what do you want?
PW: Well outside of your appearance on the Tonight Show, we haven't heard much of anything from you over these past few weeks. There's plenty the SCW fans want to know, both about your last match and the one later tonight, when Rage gets his second shot at you and your SCW Heavyweight Championship.
Nick: Well then I think I can handle that. Why don't you just give me that.
Nick reaches into Pussy Willow's hand and pulls the microphone from her hand.
Nick: Don't worry, you can run along, I'll be sure to cover all of your important little topics.
PW: And what exactly should I be doing in the meantime?
Nick: I think you'll have more than enough to keep you busy.
Nick motions towards behind Pussy, just as Jimmy Mason comes up behind her and puts his arm around her.
Jimmy: Hey baby, you want to learn fast hand the REAL reason the ladies call me "money"?
Pussy Willow immediately slips out from under Jimmy's arm and quickly moves away from him, darting off out of the scene, but Jimmy is quick to follow after her. After seeing this and not quite understanding what's going on, Big B seems to have his interset piqued.
Big B: Wait! Where are you guys going?
Big B then chases off behind them as Nick watches on, just shaking his head. Nick then turns to Diana.
Nick: Hey babe, do me a favor and make sure those idiots don't do anything that gets us all sued. I'll meet you back in the locker room in a few minutes, I've got to take care of this real quick first.
Diana nods in acknowledgment and then motions towards both Tony and Max, who immediately start to follow her as all three of them walk off camera, heading in the direction that the others ran off in. Nick then turns his attention straight into the camera.
Nick: Let's be honest everyone, there's only one person around here who really deserves to be called "money". It's amazing how quickly things change, isn't it? It wasn't all that long ago that I was dealing with a disaster of a contract that hardly gave me enough money to live my life, but look at my now. I'm the reigning SCW Champion for over 6 months now, I'm riding to these shows the right way...
Nick steps to the side, putting his arm out towards the stretch limou
