Author Topic: New Place, Same Crap  (Read 3448 times)

Offline Nick Jones

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New Place, Same Crap
« on: May 14, 2012, 07:24:48 PM »
 The scene fades in showing an outside shot of Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport.  The first thing that is seen is an airplane parked at one of the gates, which appears to be none other than flight 1362 from Los Angeles International Airport.  As it turns out, the plane has already emptied out, as just moments later the scene cuts to inside of the airport, to the baggage claim area.  It is there that it is seen that Nick Jones is currently awaiting along with all Diana, Tony, Big B and Jimmy.  Curiously enough, Max is nowhere to be seen.  A quick review of the situation shows that all of Nick's entourage members in attendance already have their baggage, as Nick stands empty handed still waiting for his.  The crowd around them continues to disappear, and the baggage belt get more and more empty as more time guys by.  It is when suddenly the baggage belt comes to a stop and after a quick look around, it is clear that Nick's bag is nowhere to be found, that he speaks up.

Nick:  Oh, you have GOT to be freakin' kidding me!  Where the hell is my damn bag?!?  Everything is in there, my clothes, my gear... how am I supposed to have a damn match without that bag?!?

As the rest of his entourage members remain quiet, Nick looks around the area until he spots a counter with some airport employees not that far from where they are located.  Without another word, Nick immediately starts to angrily march over in their direction, with his entourage members quickly following in behind him.  Without hesitation, Nick walks straight up the encounter and after just a moment of not having one of the employees attention, quickly speaks up.

Nick:  Hey!  Over here!

One of the women working behind the counter quickly turns around to see Nick, and in attempt to keep up the requirements of her job, is overly nice in her response.

Airport Employee:  My apologies sir.  How can I help you today?

Nick:  Where the hell is my bag?

Airport Employee:  It didn't come out on the baggage claim belt?

Nick:  If it did do you think I'd be standing here talking to you?

The woman seems somewhat taken back by Nick's response which is dripping with sarcasm, but doesn't acknowledge it as she responds.

Airport Employee:  Well let me look up the status of your baggage and see if there's an explanation for this.  Do you have your baggage claim ticket?

Nick:  Baggage claim ticket?  What the hell are you talking about lady?

Airport Employee:  At the time you checked your baggage at your departing airport, you should have received a ticket that corresponded with the tag put on your bag, for tracking purposes.

Nick:  Wait... people actually keep that crap?

Airport Employee:  Of course sir, it's how we can track down where your bag is currently at.

Nick:  You have got to be kidding.  Alright, hold on one damn second.

At that point, Nick turns to the rest of the people with him.

Nick:  Do any of you have this stupid baggage ticket thing?

Nick's question is met with the response of a lot of shrugs, as Nick, along with the rest of them, start to empty out their pockets, and look through any of their carry-on bags for the requested ticket.  Each digs through everything, but seem to come up empty-handed.  A few minutes after this has gone on, Nick's personal accountant Max finally shows up.  As he walks towards the group, they all suddenly stop and look up towards him.

Nick:  Where the hell have you been?  You disappeared on us.

Max:  It was a long trip, I had to have a BM!

Nick looks over to the rest of the people and shakes his head, clearly not even knowing what to say in response.  After a few moments of silence follow, Nick then turns back to Max to address him.

Nick:  Well we're all looking for these stupid ass luggage tickets.  My bag never showed up and apparently they need them to track it down.  You don't happen to have them do you?

Max:  Well of course I do!

Nick seems rather taken back by this rather quick and positive response.

Nick:  Really?

Max:  Of course, I have to keep things organized, imagine if I didn't and they couldn't find my bag.  Oh gawd, that would be terrible!  Just let me get my binder.

With that, Max reaches into his bag and pulls out a rather large and filled up binder filled with paperwork and broken up by tabs.  Max looks through it, and figures out where everything is, thinking out loud in the process.

Max:  And it should be right here under "Travel Items".

Nick and the rest of his entourage look on, not quite believing the excessive nature of Max's organization as he proceeds to flip to one of the tabs.  A moment later, he then pulls out a slip of paper that he hands towards Nick.

Max:  This is the one I have filed under your name, so this should be it.

Nick grabs the paper from out of Max's hand while looking completely confused.

Nick:  I'm not sure whether to be appreciative or completely disgusted right now.  Then again, I guess the whole reason I pay you is to do the kind of ridiculous crap that I could never in my life be bothered doing.

Max:  Oh really?  I didn't even consider this part of my job, I just couldn't imagine letting these things be at all unorganized.

Nick:  Yeah, whatever you say Maxy.

Nick then turns back towards the airport employee, handing her the luggage ticket.

Nick:  There you go, toots.

Airport Employee:  Thank you sir, I'll have your information in just a moment.

The woman takes the ticket and quickly begins to punch in the numbers off of it into her computer.  After going through a few screens and reading up on the situation, she looks back up to address Nick.

Airport Employee:  Well sir, it appears that when scanning the bag upon it's arrival, that the security team of the airport found something questionable    that they wanted to look into further.  That is why your bad was pulled off of the standard baggage claim before you were able to receive it.

Nick:  What the hell are you talking about?  What could have possibly been in my bag that was a problem?

Diana:  You didn't bring that toy...

Before Diana can continue any further Nick quickly cuts her off.

Nick:  No, and can we not discuss that right now?

Given the comment made, the members of Nick's entourage all look on, seemingly interest on what exactly they are talking about.  In particular, Big B seems to be about to say something but before he can, Nick quickly turns to him.

Nick:  Shut up.

With that, Nick turns back to the employee as she informs him of the situation.

Airport Employee:  I can't exactly be sure, but if you would like I could bring you over to the baggage security area and we could try to work this all out.

Nick:  Well what the hell are you waiting for?  Let's go!

The woman comes out from behind the counter and proceeds to lead Nick over to another area, with the rest of his entourage following along.  As they walk across the baggage area, they come to a security office on the other side, which the woman walks into and speaks to the two security men working there.

Airport Employee:  Hi, this here is the gentlemen who's bag you currently have in your custody.

Security Officer:  Oh great.  Thanks from bringing him over.  We'll get this sorted out right away.

With that, the woman nods and walks away, leaving Nick with the security team.  As she leaves the main security officer than begins to speak to Nick.

Security Officer:  The current situation is that based on our scans, we found a questionable item to be located in your baggage.  If you wouldn't mind, we would request permission to search your bag and get this all sorted out very quickly.

Before Nick can even respond, Nick's hired muscle Tony quickly steps forward, getting right up into the face of the main security officer because of his request, but Nick quickly puts his hand up into Tony's chest and pushes him back a step.

Nick:  Don't sweat it, Tone.  I appreciate it, but it'll be fine.

Nick then turns back towards the security men.

Nick:  That'll be fine.  Feel free to search away.

With that said, Tony takes a step back and the two men then proceed to open up the bag and begin searching.  After a few moments, they seem to have found what they are looking for and pull out a familiar item, the SCW Heavyweight Championship belt.  The two men look at it curiously before addressing Nick.

Security Officer:  This is the item that came up in our scans.  Can you tell us what it is?

Nick:  Are you kidding me?  You can't tell?  Obviously it's a weapon of mass destruction.

Nick's sarcasm is clearly unappreciated, as the two men look at him with a combination of shock and confusion.  Seeing their reaction, Nick quickly clarifies.

Nick:  It's a title belt you morons!  More specifically, it's the SCW Heavyweight Championship belt.

Security Officer:  Oh.  Well until we get approval from a higher member of our staff that this item is acceptable to be allowed into Pureto Rico, we can't turn it back over to you.  In the meantime you can take your bag and the rest of the items within it, and we will contact you once you have been approved to proceed further with this item.

Nick:  Are you kidding me?  I'm not leaving without my title belt, are we clear on that?  You morons are lucky I'm even standing here and allowing you to touch my belt to begin with, but if you think for a second I'm going to allow it to stay in your position for more than a moment under my watch, you're out of your minds.

Security Officer:  I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do about this.

After that response, Nick can't even be bothered to address the security members any further, and instead turns his attention back to his own entourage, specifically looking to Tony as he speaks.

Nick:  You know what?  Forget that whole part where I stopped you from kicking these idiots asses.  Do whatever you think you need to.

Tony nods in acknowledgment to Nick and without another word said, looks over to Big B and nods to him as well.  The two men then walk away from the crowd and come around the counter at the security office, standing right next to the two officers and towering over them, as the two huge men make it quite clear of their intentions.  Before anything further can happen, one of the security members is quick to speak up.

Security Officer:  You know what?  I'm sure we can work all of this out with paperwork later.  Why don't you just go ahead and take this and be on your way?

Nick:  That sounds great.  Thanks for doing the right thing.

Nick reaches across the counter and slaps the main officer across the back before reaching into his hands and ripping out the title belt.  Nick puts the belt back into his bag, zips it up and then pulls it off of the counter.  Nick nods towards Tony and Big B, at which point they immediately walk away from the two security officers and rejoin the group.

Nick:  You two have yourselves a lovely day.

Nick chuckles to himself before turning and walking away, followed by all of the members of his entourage as the scene fades.




The scene opens up in the backstage area of the Pepin Cestero Arena in Bayamon, Puerto Rico.  Seen in one of the locker rooms is SCW Heavyweight Champion Nick Jones along with his girlfriend Diana.  The two are seated in front of a TV setup in the locker room, just as Nick's hired muscle, Tony enters the room.

Tony:  Hey boss, what's goin' on?

Nick:  Looks like my opponent just released a promo so I figured I'd check it out and see what this fool has to say about me.  Feel free to take a seat if you want to check it out.

Tony:  Sure t'ing, boss.

Tony takes a seat next to Nick and Diana, when at that point, Nick grabs the remote and proceeds to hit play, as the Canadian Crippler's earlier promo begins to air.  The three sit there watching rather intently, but as it goes on, the look on Nick's face quickly changes to more and more confused as it goes on.  After a few minutes, Nick eventually grabs the report again and hits pause, before quickly turning to the other two sitting next to him.

Nick:  So wait one damn second.  This guy wrestles in Puerto Rico, is from Minnesota, yet calls himself the "Canadian" Crippler?  Do I have that right?

Tony:  Dat's what it sounds sounds like, boss.

Nick:  What is wrong with this idiot?!? Was he dropped on his head as a child or something?

Tony:  Well dat would sure 'splain a lot.

Nick:  Not to mention, this guy clearly has no idea who in the world I am.  I could give less of a crap about who does or doesn't cheer me, because most of these people are too stupid to know any better anyone.  And even worse than that, did this clo2n actually call me "insecure"?  I mean seriously, even those people out there who hate me with every fiber of their being would call me a whoooole lot of things, but never insecure.

Diana:  No kidding.  I mean sure, I can see someone calling you cocky, arrogant, conceited, egotistical, condescending, self-important...

Nick:  Yeah, yeah... we get it.

Diana:  Right... well, the point is, you're the furthest thing from insecure.

Nick:  My point exactly.  Let's see what else this dufus has to say.

At that point, Nick grabs the remote again and hits play, as the promo from Canadian Crippler continues to air.  After a few more minutes of watching, Nick can be heard mumbling to himself.

Nick:  I don't know what's more annoying, this clueless putz or the little brats he's hanging around with.

Despite his quiet mumbles, he is immediately greeted with a response, as others were clearly thinking the same thing.

Diana:  At least the kids have an excuse.  They're born to be irritating.

Tony:  Yeah, and I ain't gonna never punch da little kids in da face.  But I sure wanna do dat to dat otha' guy right now.

Nick:  Well don't worry about it buddy, I'll be sure to get in more than enough to cover how much he annoyed me, you, Diana and ever little obnoxious twerp in that crowd.

Tony:  I ain't blamin' you for dat one boss.  I ain't sure I ever been more jealous of you gettin' to smack someone around.

Nick:  Well if you keep your act together, maybe I'll let you get a few shots in yourself once I'm doing taking him out in front of all his fellow co-workers and their fans.

The three of them all give a chuckle to Nick's comments, as they continue to watch the rest of the promo as the scene fades.




The scene fades back in to the inside of the Pepin Cestero Arena, where the fans are piling in for the start of In Your Face.  As the arena starts to fill up and before the show is actually kicking off, they are greeted by a surprise appearance as "Cocky" by Kid Rock starts to blast over the arena PA system.  A loud chorus of boos are heard in response as Nick Jones walks into the arena, wearing his ring gear and sporting his SCW Championship belt around his waist.  Nick stops for a moment at the top of the ramp and seems to enjoying taking in the boos from the crowd for a few moments before starting to walk down to the ring.  Nick gets down to the ring and slides right in, then heading straight towards the other side of the ring where the crew is located and asking for a microphone.  As one of the ringside workers toss Nick a mic, he signals for them to cut his music and then waits for both the music and the crowd to die down before speaking.

Nick:  Well I suppose some things just never change.  It doesn't matter where I go and what I'm doing, the people who fill these arenas can't get over the jealousy of the fact that I'm better at absolutely everything there is than they are.

Nick's comments are not surprisingly met with loud boos from the crowd.

Nick:  My point exactly.  You should all feel as though you're receiving a gift by having someone like me perform you.  Every week you have these no-name PRA losers showing up in front of you and putting on a show that's probably not even worth a cent of your money.  But tonight, you get the best of the best in front of you.  The top champion from the top wrestling company there is.  Sure, I can understand you being upset that I'm going to put your expectations of a wrestling match up to a level that these clowns will never be able to meet again without me, but that's not my fault.  The truth is you should just appreciate the fact that you are lucky enough to observe my greatness at all, even if it is for one night.

A large smirk appears across the face of Nick, as he hears only more boos in return.

Nick:  Boo all you like, but my point will be proven more than you can imagine by the end of the night.  Your little buddy the Canadian Crippler is the one responsible for bringing me here, and so it's only appropriate he'll be the one who will be most unhappy with that being the case.  Because as much as you all want to boo me being here, none of you will have the unfortunate fate of being embarrassed in front of this crowd.  None of you will be the ones shown to be at your weakest, your most pitiful, the most sad and sorry you've ever been in your life, in front of the crowd that is here to see your show.  I'll be here for just one night and in that one night I'll show you all something that your little Crippler friend can only ever imagine.

Nick hesitates for a moment, chuckling to himself before continuing.

Nick:  It really is rather funny.  So often wrestlers think they have this big opportunity stepping into the ring with me.  It's been that way for a while now.  First I was the big name guy showing up in a new fed, and everyone thought they could make their name off of me.  Then I was getting myself in line for a shot at the top title in SCW, and everyone thought they could make themselves the top contender with a win over me.  After that failed, and I of course became the person I said I would be from day one, the SCW Heavyweight Champion, there was a whole new opportunity that people saw.  So many fools thought they saw an opportunity for them to become champion.  The challenges have poured in over time, everyone thinking they have their shot to become the top dog in the company.  And then of course there's NeWA's rankings system, which was just one more avenue to prove my importance to not just the SCW, not just the NeWA, but the entire wrestling industry.  As I climbed up those rankings, now people saw an opportunity to challenge me for a spot in the rankings.  And that's where the Canadian Crippler comes in.  What Mr. Crippy doesn't know is that his fate will be no different than those before him.  Those who wants to make their name off of me failed.  Those who wanted to take my spot as #1 contender failed.  Those who wanted to take MY title belt?  Well, I'll let you figure that one out for yourself.

Nick pulls the title belt off from around his waist and lifts it up into the area, with only more boos coming in response.

Nick:  And now it comes down to the rankings for the NeWA World Heavyweight Championship.  A belt that would already be around my waist if it wasn't for some bad decisions by the wrong people.  But in the end, NeWA is still smart enough to know I'm one of it's top challengers and Crippler, you're apparently not smart enough to know that you should just let it be.  You should already be more than happy with where you're at.  The fact that you're even close enough in the rankings to challenge me should be a big win in your book.  But you got too greedy and apparently that wasn't enough.  Well, I hate to break it to you, but that's the biggest mistake you could have made.  Because when this night is over, you may still have your little spot in the rankings, but nobody will take it seriously anymore.  The NeWA isn't going to consider you a real contender, the champ isn't going to consider you a real threat, and I'm not going to consider you as anything but another on the long list of names that tried and failed.  I've had one person after another who I've sent running out of the wrestling industry after stepping into the ring with me, and you should just consider yourself lucky if things don't turn out that bad for you by the time the night is done.  Because here's one thing you need to know, and you should make sure you remember for a very long time... I'm not cocky, I'm just the best.

With that said, Nick drops the microphone as "Cocky" by Kid Rock once again begins to blast through the arena.  Nick then tosses the title belt over his shoulder before proceeding to the ropes and climbing out of the ring.  Nick then walks up the ramp, smiling widely despite being surrounded by nothing from boos from the crowd.  Nick walks back through the curtain to the back, as the scene fades to black.
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