Johnny Brown’s old stomping ground.-
For your own sakes let’s not say where.
Why is Johnny here so deep in thought? Well as deep as he gets, he’s not a man with a poetic heart or a man full of sentiment. This is one of the places he hung out with his former best friend Stu ‘Bruvver from another Mother’ Smith when Smith caravan rolled back into town. Now its an abandoned wreck. Mud, rubble and rubbish, left in such a state by the last group of travellers no one can be bothered to tidy it up and as such no-one wants to redevelop it. As soon as a shovel hits the ground a sea of trailers and mobile homes will roll in taking it over and costs thousands in building delays. O it is left an eye sore to most but a place to come and think for Johnny.
"Am I my brother's keeper?"
It seems I am; my ‘Bruvver from another mother’ Stu Smith needed a keeper, an’ I got the job. Here’s me thinking he was a grown arse man accountable for his own actions. If he was too much of a pu$$y to fight Aleksei in my place he should have grown a set and said no.
But he tried ta be a big man an’ fight my fight an’ got a kicking.
Now I’m kicked out a society I’ve grown up around…. Travellers.
Using a broken broom as a spear he picks up a mound off the floor, upon closer inspection it is a dead cat. He flicks it up then volleys it away. The dark blood remaining on his steel toe cap will need a scrub.
These stinkin’ thieving pikey f**ks would have probably ate them… they eat road kill… not just dears or pheasants but badgers an’ hedgehogs YET they think they’re better than me! Well f**k them and their sister-mums, buncha inbred ba$tards. They roll in worm, take over then leave devastation behind. I usta admire them, the freedom they had. P’haps that one of the reason I became a wrestler so I could be like them an’ see the world not knowing where the road was gonna take me. But them I saw them as the lying, cheating scum they are.
They’re not some romantic free spirits they are raping my nation. Now ya have foreign f**kers like Aleksei joining them. It takes tha pi$$.
Stu and his ilk can eff right off. At London’s Brawling I beat the Romani scum, that was for every Brit was has had to deal with stinkin’ gypo’s. Now as Sin-C-Dub returns to America I wave goodbye to GREAT Britain for a while I want every patriotic Brit to punch a gypsy, kick a gypsy, burn down their f**king caravans. They are a plague that needs ta be eliminated.
Still with his ‘cat-prodding stick’ Johnny climbs a small hill, a hillock or a knoll if you will. He stands proud puffing his already impressive chest out as he spikes the stick into the ground like an explorer atop Everest.
JB: Heed my cry people of Britain! Stand up and be counted but let them move into your town. Gypo’s are worse than Americans!!! Look up yer pets!
Block yer drives! Refuse to buy clothes pegs or watch that crap show on Channel 4!!
STOP THEM NOW! !!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
As soon as he steps off the plan Johnny Brown turns on his phone, it’s an i-phone for those keeping count and yes he is not in the terminal building but that’s the kinda guy he is. Brown runs through his voicemails, one from the office about his match this week. It makes him smile and whisper finally, The second message is the one that draws a reaction.
JB: That’s how ta do it. Damn I’m good. What a difference a few days make. Ditch that dead weight Stu, hire a sports agent then secure a big arse sponsorship deal. Easy street here I come.
Elated Brown slips his phone back into his pocket then heads to the bar., well it is 5 o’clock somewhere; or so the song goes.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Reno, Nevada
The Biggest Little City in the World, or so the poorly thought out nicknames says. Reno has been chosen to host SCW’S return home from it’s European tour.
A tour that saw the Roulette and the World tag team titles change hands.
While Bo Dreamwolf is doing his best Iron Eyes Cody impression over his lost; Casey Williams is rumoured to have completely lost it over his title loss.
Renowned for his tact True Brit Johnny Brown is sure to skirt around the issue while delicately weaving a verbal masterpiece to promote their coming match
JB: What a dumb way to lose a title belt! NXT took their eyes off the prize and lost their gold without actually losing the match.
Ok; so the embodiment of Cool Britannia has no tact, but when you can fight like he can who needs tact. Johnny is the kick down the door and smack someone in the mouth sort.
Knock, knock Casey get ready the door’s coming down.
Jordan tried to make the save but just couldn’t make it. Casey on the other hand was too busy fighting a nobody he should have destroyed in seconds.
Casey Williams is big, damn big. He’s literally a giant of a man. Wiv’ paws big enuff to crush water melons; if he get his hands on ya it’ll be game over.
The easy route would be to mock his intelligence, his mobility, his butterface girlfriend but I don’t take the easy route, it’s kinda a curse really. To dwell on his negatives would be too easy.
Despite his boooooring promotional videos doing the same stuff week in and week out, I want ta like him.
I really do!
He wants to succeed he tries hard but he just doesn’t get it!
He should be a big mean sonnova b*tch but he’s more like a teddy bear. Hanging wiv his mates, chatting to his bird?!?
Perturbed Johnny stops, he scratches his shaved head, then his arse. With different hands by the way, he’s not a savage.
JB: Really?!?!
Look ya big lummox we don’t care if ya work out like a demon… we don’t care about how hard it is fer ya to travel, we get it yer a freak of nature. Everyone stares at ya, they all treat ya different, well cry me a mother-f**king river.
I stand out here in the land of the free cos I’m English. I stand out cos’ I don’t feel the need to carry a gun at all times or ta eat twice my weight in BBQ’ed red meat. I do drape myself in the red, white an’ blue; not the star spangled banner… a real flag the Union Jack, a flag worth saluting.
His actions mimicking his words; Johnny turns to salute his flag hanging behind him. He hold the pose a little too long just to pi$$ off anyone watching. When he turns back to the camera he has a knowing grin plastered on his face.
JB: Learn ta celebrate what makes you unique an’ embrace it Case.
Fer me the recent European tour was a breath of fresh, despite my dislike of the Dutch, Germans and the French next ta Americans they are spot on. But lets not turn this inta a tired xenophobic rant, I’ll let Kennedy do that.
My focus is the Freight Train of Pain, I’m sorry bruv that name is awful whoever came up with that needs a WMD on the double.
That big punch of yours will knock out an elephant, luckily I’m not such a beast but I do a wicked elephant impression, all I need ta do is pull me pockets out then use me John Thomas as the beast's trunk.
Johnny pulls his jean pockets out then grabs his fly (zipper to the non-English put there) then thankfully stops. Exposing yerself may not be one of the seven deadly sins or in the 10 commandments but it is certainly one of the things best not done in a wrestling promo.
JB: A bit of a sidebar but talking about a cock does take me full circle back to Case.
Guys like you an’Alexsei are beasts, plain and simple, yer true destructive forces but ya lack a killer instinct. Now me… I beat the pi$$ outta me dear old Nan if it means I’ll get another tick in the win column. Hell it was me Nan who taught me that.
No one is gonna hand ya anything in life, you’ve gotta reach up and take it. Snatch the brass ring or the gold belt, whichever analogy ya want, at tha end of tha day all a man has is himself.
Just like when Stu an’ his fellow stinkin’ gypo’s turned their backs on me just like the “lovely” Laura will on you.. Do ya think she’ll want you around once she drops the sprog?
She’ll be taking you for every penny, yer little ba$tard will wreck her when it comes out… judging by yer size it’ll be 2 foot tall an’ just as wide. She’ gonna be a mess down there. It’ll look like a deli counter covered in Tommy sauce…
Holding back fake sick Johnny continues to point south in-between clasping his hands in floppy diamond shape to demonstrate Laura’s deformed lady garden.
JB: As a favour to ya Big Man I can have a crack at her, my flagpole will give her a workout, while I cant in clear conscience say my impressive girth is 2 foot wide according to the ring rats I’m a giant in that department while yer more of a dwarf.
Point number two of what not to do in a wrestling promo- sing hi ho hi it’s off to work we to an imaginary groin connected to a real giant.
JB: Are ya mad yet CW? Someone told me you were so mad about losing yer belt nothing could make your even angrier… sounds like a dare to me I said. They lol’ed I gave them a slap for lol’ing. The end.
For them it was the end fer you it’s just the beginning. Pulling a big dog’s tail isn’t a clever idea..
P’haps if you tried to get under his skin to get him ta make a mistake that could work out, but that only works if ya don’t point that fact out to him.
Ya see while you turn inta the worlds biggest Gollum crying about yer precioussssss gold I’m turning over a new leaf.
Yes Casey a metaphoric leaf I haven’t taken up gardening. I have decided to not give a f**k, not in the sense you didn’t give a f**k before you met yer fugly bird and gave yer a pity shag, I mean as in I don’t care.
I don’t care about the office, I don’t care if anyone likes my promos.
I’m just gonna do what the hell I want when I want until the fire me or I run this place. Either way I’m good.
Casey save yer tears fer when I defeat you at Climax Control. I’m not here to get a quick 1-2-3 I’m gonna make a statement and wipe the mat wiv’ ya.
Yer gonna leave the worlds biggest stain on the mat they will have to stop the show just ta burn the ring. It will be that messy.
But I guess when ya stamp on 375lbs of crap it’ll leave a mark.
