After having a week off and doing a segment that was almost an April fool’s joke Matthew Kennedy was back in action this week competing in the main event, the match was a tag team match between himself and Kaine and their opponents The Aristocrats who were collectively known as “Big” Steve Scanlon and “Hangman” Hawkins, and provided he can get along with Kain there should be no problems for Matthew oh who am I kidding? He’s teaming up with an American; something’s bound to go wrong!
Matthew’s hotel room, Paris, France
April 6, 2012, 11:00am
I finally buy a home in the city that this damn company is named after and they decide to go on the road?! At least at the end of the month I’ll be able to compete in the greatest country in the world, England.
But until then I have yet another tag team match this time against The Aristocrats, collectively known as “Big” Steve Scanlon and “Hangman” Hawkins, or as I call them, a pair of idiots who think their Aristocrats, my tag team partner is yet another American and this time it’s Kain, one of the esteemed “veterans” off this company.
MK: Didn’t the idiotic higher ups learn ANYTHING from the last time I teamed up with an American? Yes my team won but it was by sheer coincidence and if that bloody idiot Jared Black hadn’t hit his finisher my win record would stand at a single victory but NO! On one hand they’ve finally acknowledged the fact that a man of my talents deserves to be in the spotlight, a man of my talents deserves to be in the Main Event, only problem? I’m teaming up with an American AGAIN but this time I’m facing two Americans otherwise known as The bloody Aristocrats, Kain, let me make one thing clear to you mate, I will not need you or your bad luck regarding tag team partners affecting me in this match, in short stay out of my way and do not cost me the victory or else!
I swear the SCW Higher Ups are some of the most incompetent higher ups I’ve worked with, and I was in the NAWA briefly!
MK: Now that I’ve finished insulting my partner, which I will continue to do until I get teamed up with a fellow Englishman, it’s time I started talking about The Aristocrats, more like a disgrace to the name Aristocrats, when I think of that name I think of someone with class like myself but what I certainly DON’T think off is a pair of big, burly idiots with such imaginative names like “Big” Steve Scanlon and “Hangman” Hawkins, I swear to god those names would be laughed out of a bloody Backyard Wrestling Federation, and given the style these two idiots use I wouldn’t be surprised if they were backyard wrestlers.
I shake my head in disgust.
MK: I’ll start with Steve, who isn’t even that tall so that’s one strike against this idiot, what other strikes are there against him? Oh I don’t know, how about the fact that he uses moves with the clear intent to end a person’s career, don’t act innocent Steve I have your SCW.com profile on my laptop over there, basically Steve you are a danger to yourself and others and I will gladly put you out of commission.
Now onto the poor idiot who has to team up with him.
MK: I’d almost feel sorry for Hangman Hawkins if not for the fact that if he had any common sense he would’ve ditched Steve a LONG time ago but I bloody digress! Apparently he is a detested heel in his home state of Texas which I can’t help but find amusing because this idiot seems to be the perfect person that those inbred rednecks in Texas would cheer for! However it does not matter, Hangman Hawkins will be defeated alongside his joke of a tag team partner and I will hopefully move on to bigger and better things.
I shake my head again; this has got to stop before it gets ridicules.
MK: This is just further evidence that the SCW higher ups are trying to make me lose my mind, first they put me in a tag team match with an American as my tag team partner whilst the only other Brit in that match is teaming up with my opponent, then the week off and finally this match where I, a man who hates America and all it stands for, will be teaming up with an American to take on a team of Americans, my only hope is that I can sue SCW for an unsafe working environment!
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
MK: But despite all of that one fact will remain at the end of the day, I will win this match with or without the help of Kain and if he gets in my way he will regret it, however if there is one thing to be certain off it’s this, my name is “Prime Time” Matthew Kennedy and The Aristocrats are about to be cancelled.
I turned to my laptop as the scene fades.
