I AM FACING HARPER MASON AGAIN? HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO FACE HARPER AND DESTROY HER BEFORE MANAGEMENT STOPS ASSIGNING HER TO FACE ME IN THE WRESTLING RING?
Narrator: I want to let everyone know that Bea Barnhart is tired of having to face Harper Mason again. Bea has mentioned to me that she does not understand why management has to assign Harper Mason to her all the time when Bea has already defeated Harper so many times there is no humor left to work with having to defeat Harper Mason again. With that said I turn you over to Bea Barnhart who is at their hotel room near the Denver Coliseum.
Bea: Well, everyone, here we go again. I guess Management cannot get enough of assigning Harper Mason to face off against me in a wrestling match so they did it again. What the hell is going on here? Do they enjoy watching Harper getting defeated by me so darn much so that is the reason they keep assigning her to face off against me in a wrestling match? I mean, DAMN, I have other victims to sacrifice to the wrestling gods so stop assigning me to face off against Harper Mason.
Bea snarls into the camera.
Bea: Before I launch into more comments directed at Harper Mason I want to let everyone know that my husband Bill and our English Bulldog Iris are here at Climax Control 445 but the two of them are out on a tour of Denver and a more detailed tour of the area around and near the Denver Coliseum, where Sin City Wrestling is holding Climax Control 445. Don’t be surprised if Bill and Iris return while I am presenting comments on my upcoming match against Harper Mason.
Bea laughs loudly then she continues with her comments.
Bea: Most wrestling fans like to know how wrestlers assigned against each other measure up so I will give you that information so that nobody comes up later claiming that I never told you that information. Harper is listed as 5 feet 5 inches in height and 125 pounds in weight. She claims to be from Orlando, Florida, but being the pathological liar that she is I doubt that information is accurate. With me I am 5 feet 5 inches in height and 130 pounds of weight and I am from Lawrenceville, Georgia. I am also listed as what the sport of wrestling calls a Neutral alignment wrestler. Although me and Harper are the same height and nearly the same weight I still have a major advantage over her as I have in many of our previous matches.
Bea glares into the camera before continuing with her comments.
Bea: Harper since I am awesome and you are pathetic I would like to run down a few items for you to think about. I was going to prepare a list, from A to Z, of how I am superior to you but I will just toss items out there as I see fit.
Bea glares into the camera then she starts her presentation.
Bea: So, Harper, pay attention. . .
A = I am AMAZING while you are pathetic.
B = I am BRAVE while you are a coward.
C = I am CALM. . .COOL…AND COLLECTED… while you are trash.
D = I am DETERMINED while you are disgusting.
E = I am EVERYTHING while you are nothing.
F = I am FASCINATING while you are annoying.
G = I am GREAT while you are small.
H = I am here while you are nowhere.
I = I am INTELLIGENT with an IQ of over 130, which is Genius level, while your IQ score is pathetically low.
J = I am a JOY to be around while people avoid you.
K = I am KIND when I need to be, and MEAN when I need to be, while you are just out there in the nothingness.
L = I am here to TELL THE TRUTH while you are a liar.
M = I am MARVELOUS while you are pathetic.
N = I am NO NONSENSE while you are just nonsense.
O = I am an EXCEPTIONAL WRESTLER while you are pathetic in the wrestling ring.
P = I am BEAUTIFUL while you are lacking physical appeal.
Q = I am QUITE the wrestler while you are a joke wrestler.
R = I am a TOUGH wrestler while you are as soft as Jello.
S = I am SUPERIOR while Harper is sadly weak. . .
T = I am ROUGH in the wrestling ring while you are soft.
U = I am UNIQUE while you are plain and useless.
V = I am VERY talented in the wrestling ring while you are very weak.
W = I WOW the fans while the fans say you are boring.
X = I am Xtra special while you are extra plain. .
Y = I am the FAVORITE wrestler for the fans the fans hate you.
Z = I have ZEAL while you belong in a Zoo enclosure.
Bea flashes a huge grin into the camera. When she hears the door of the hotel room she looks up and watches as her husband, Bill, and their English Bulldog Iris, are done with their walk around near the Denver Coliseum. Bea excuses herself to the viewers as she wants to know what Bill and Iris did on their walk.
Bea: Excuse me for a moment wile I pause my comments concerning my upcoming match against Harper Mason as I want to talk with Bill about his walk with Iris. So, Bill, how was the walk around and near the Denver Coliseum?
Bill: To be honest there wasn’t much for me and Iris to see and do at this time while walking around the Denver Coliseum. I spoke with some people around the Coliseum and they told me about two streets down there is a nice dog park where I could bring Iris and let her run around and interact with the other dogs in the park. So that is where we spent most of our time but both me and Iris are tired and want to rest now.
Bea: I am not able to give a lot of time for you and Iris at this time as I am airing my comments for my upcoming match against Harper Mason so don’t take it personally.
Bill: I will make it short Bea. At first Iris didn’t want to enter the dog park but I managed to convince her that interacting with the other dogs there would be a good experience for her. Iris was a bit grumpy because the normal greetings dogs give to other dogs is to shove their nose into the butts of the other dogs to get their smell so they can process it and evaluate the dogs they are sniffing.
Bea: Are you serious or are you joking with me?
Bill: I am serious. When you have some free time do a Google search on how dogs get to know other dogs and what their smells mean to the other dogs. Iris was enjoying smelling the butts of the other dogs but, oh man, when the other dogs wanted to smell her butt Iris got upset so I had to cut our trip to the dog park short and return to our hotel room. Since you are giving a presentation me and Iris will go into the bedroom and both of us will get cleaned up so we will not be making noise and interrupting your comments to the viewers.
Bill tells Iris to come with him into the bedroom and she does so. Bill closes the bedroom door so any noise they make will not bother Bea while she is airing comments on her upcoming match against Harper Mason.
Bea: Just when you thought you have heard it all you find out that dogs identify other dogs, and evaluate if they should be friends with them or enemies, or whether they are a male or female dog, you find out that dogs love sticking their noses up the butts and crotches of other dogs. I am so glad that is not something humans need to do to identify other humans and determine if they are friends or enemies or males or females.
Bea pauses her comments to look into the camera and shake her head as what she just heard from Bill.
Bea: Well, Harper, we are only a short time away from our match. It would have been nice if our match was the opening match but we ended up being the second match on the card. There are many times I felt great being the opening match because what I accomplish, and how well I destroyed my opponents, sets the energy level and level of interest in the remainder of the matches on the card. I have always felt that being the opening match is not an insult placed on wrestlers by Management when they assign wrestlers to matches because the wrestlers involved in the opening match set the tone and energy level for the entire event.
Bea takes a break from her talking to take a drink of Classic Coke then she continues with her comments.
Bea: Harper I wish to remind you of how I approach each match I am assigned to and especially when it is a Singles match and the Opening match on the Card. I pride myself on being a great submission expert and making my opponents submit. Even though that is my primary objective I will also transition from working on making my opponent submit to making them give up in the match when they finally stop fighting against the obvious conclusion that I am going to defeat them and they lay down on the mat and accept that I won the match over them. There is another thing I do in my wrestling matches that most of the wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling fail to do. Whether I win, or whether I lose the match which is a rare occurrence, I still walk over to my opponent and thank them for giving me a good match. I appreciate wrestlers who accept their losses to me and I also appreciate wrestlers who get a win over me and but they remain humble.
Bill pauses to drink more of her Classi Coke before returning to face the camera to continue her comments.
Bea: So, Harper, in closing on my comments for today, I want you to know a few things that maybe you never took notice of. There are only a few wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who I have an honest hatred toward because they are, literally, assholes and cheaters, who would never win a wrestling match without their friends interfering in the match they have against me. If you need to cheat in a wrestling match to obtain a cheap victory then you should not be in the sport of wrestling since you are violating all the rules, regulations, and honesty, that is associated with professional wrestling. I don’t hate you Harper but I have to be honest that I don’t like you due to how often you cheat in matches to try to steal a win against your opponents. Harper. . .if you need to cheat to get a cheap win over me in our upcoming match then the fans, and others, will remember what you did to cheat against me to get a cheap win. I never want to be remembered as the wrestler who needed to cheat and violate the rules of the match they were involved in so that they could obtain a cheap victory. Nothing is a given in life and that includes that nothing is a given in the sport of wrestling. So Harper. . .in closing. . .I want to give you every opportunity to work our match fully within the rules of our match, which means you should hold back on your desire to cheat in the match. Of course I cannot accept the fact that if you cheat that you proved yourself to be the coward I always knew you were. The final decision is yours Harper. Do you lie and cheat and violate the rules of our match and emerge as the cheater winner of our match. . .or do you work in our match under the rules of the match and we see who legally wins our match? The choice is yours Harper. But please, Harper, let me warn you, that if you violate the rules and do illegal things in our match, you will forever be lageled as a lying, cheating, cowardly, piece of crap. The choice is yours.
Bea motions to the camera person to indicate that she is done with her comments for today. The camera person thanks Bea for the notification then they call into the Network to inform them that Bea is done with airing her comments. The Network tells the camera person to cut their video feed and then the network will return to regularly scheduled programming. Bea accepts the actions by the Network and then the screen goes dark.
