Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll
The video feed for the Troll's so-called vlog webcast begins -- in complete darkness.The Troll: The things that I do for... waitaminute... why isn't this thing working? ... Excuse me peeps! Something is wrong with my set up. I'll have it fixed in a second...
There is the sound of random scuffling about and one can hear the sound of things being moved about and worked on. Despite the darkness, there is the sensation of the camera being knocked about as if handled by clumsy hands that are none-too careful...The Troll: Now what the heck is going on with this piece of....!? This is a sophisticated piece of valuable equipment and I can't believe it's broken down so...
And just like that, the solution is discovered as the cap over the lens of the camera plops off and falls to the floor of the basement with a light clatter, leaving a closeup of the Troll's surprised eyeball.The Troll: ... Fast? ... Oh. Um... *clears throat* I knew that.
The Troll collapses back into his chair and almost loses his balance in the old, dilapidated office chair and comes this close to spilling over onto the floor. He quickly rights himself and shakes his head.The Troll: What a week this has been! The things that I do for you, my peeps, sometimes astounds even me! The fact that Mark Ward and Christian Underwood contacted me again and practically begged me to come to Arizona to take part in a qualifying match for this Elimination Chamber of theirs is bad enough! Do you get where I'm coming from? I'll sum it up for you in a single word...
He air quotes.The Troll: Arizona! The United States's answer to Bedrock. I mean, who really wants to go to Arizona anyway? Who even goes there on purpose!? Where sitting back on your porch and watching the tumbleweed is an actual pastime! Ranks right up there with hanging out in Alabama and eating pickled pig ears while watching the bug zapper! I tell you, the only thing worse than having to compete in Arizona is WHO I have to face in Arizona!
I mean, Connor Murphy?? Seriously!? This guy is still alive?
The Troll shrugs.The Troll: Who knew?? I figured given how dead his career was, he was too. But I guess we can just safely say that Connor is past his prime instead of just passed. The fact he's even being given this chance is a real kick in the teeth! About as bad as me having to earn my way into a spot that should have been handed to me on a golden platter for everything I've done for SCW! But I'll tell you what's worse than having to face Old Man Murphy...!
He holds up his fat finger for emphasis.The Troll: ... And that's having to face some loser that actually names himself after an animated cat! And not even a top animated cat like Heathcliff or Garfield! He named himself after Felix... a cat that originated sometime in the late 1800s if memory serves correctly. Felix "the Cat" Hernandez!
He gives a full body shudder.The Troll: The man has absolutely no self respect! That much is evident from how he under performs inside of the ring but to take that name! I mean, I won't have any trouble going through these two jokers to make the most out of this second chance to get into the Chamber but... What?
A stray comment from some random viewer catches his attention. The Troll leans in to read what he wrote and he falls back heavily into his seat.The Troll: This isn't a second chance to get into the Chamber? It's to get a shot at Aiden Reynolds and the Roulette Championship.... WELL WHO THE HELL WANTS THAT!?
The Troll runs his hands down his face, almost knocking off his glasses in the process.The Troll: What else could possibly go wrong today!?
**thud! thud! thud!**
Therein lies the answer from the tell-tale pounding on the ceiling of the basement, or rather the floor of the first floor to his Mother's house.Mom: GABRIEL!!!The Troll sighs.The Troll: YEAH, MA!?Mom: I need a ride to my proctologist for my hemorrhoids!
The Troll's face pales and his eyes go wide.
**cut feed**
