Cactus Pete’s travels part three
A romantic music can be heard playing as we see the back of the sofa in front of the camera, a cigar can be seen on an ashtray on the arm rest of the sofa as smoke rises up towards the ceiling while the camera starts to walk around the sofa.
Vinnie: What do you want to eat Pete???
Can be heard coming from the kitchen as the camera turns around, puzzled that they did not get to see Senor Vinnie seated in the sofa as the man is wearing an apron in front of him as he walks into the room. There we see him holding a pot of beans in his right hand and some vegetables in his left.
Vinnie: You want the usual?? Or are you going to try a vegetarian dish??
The camera turns back towards the sofa, where we see Pete sitting there while wearing a red bathrobe that is way too large for him as it drops down to the ground in front of the sofa. Pete can be seen looking up towards Vinnie as he starts to gesture something with his “arms” that causes Vinnie to nod his head as he lifts up the pot of beans.
Vinnie: I guess Iris has convinced you to stop eating healthy food huh??
Pete nods his head as he grabs hold of the cigar and starts to inhale before blowing out some circles in the air as it slowly vanishes into the thin air. We see Vinnie head back to the kitchen as he starts to open the pot of beans and pours it inside a pan before turning on the stove and turning it up high before turning his attention towards the recipe as he scratches his chin.
Vinnie: So let’s see, I put on the beans but what should I do next???
We see him look at a recipe how to make a burrito when the phone starts to ring, causing him to walk out of the kitchen as he grabs hold of the classic phone that is still connected with a cord.
Vinnie: Hola??
We see his facial expression turn from unsuspected to a happy one.
Vinnie: Hey Senor William!! What nice surprise for you to call me!!!
He utters with a huge smile upon his face as he hears the voice of his good friend Bill Barnhart, who is congratulating him from advancing into the Elimination Chamber alongside with him.
Vinnie: Gracias William, yeah it was a very wonderful moment to advance. I do hope that Senor Felix is alright though??
Vinnie listens to Bill Barnhart talking while slowly turning his attention away from the pan on the stove, the two men are sharing a laugh. The camera turns towards the pan, noticing that we see smoke slowly starting to emerge from the pan that is slowly moving towards the living room where Pete just placed his cigar back upon the ashtray.
Vinnie: Listen Bill, it was quite funny to see a chicken cross the road for sure!!!
Pete is barely paying attention to Vinnie laughing over the phone, knowing that it must be one of Bill Barnart’s lame jokes that he never got into in the first place. He leans back while watching the flatscreen television when suddenly noticing the smoke emerging across the ceiling of the room, causing him to look over towards his cigar as if wondering that was the reason of the large amounts of smoke.
Pete shakes his head, noticing that the smoke is not even close to reach the ceiling as this causes him to turn his head in every possible direction.
Vinnie: But you should see that pig cross the road!!!!!
Another loud laugh can be heard from the kitchen as Vinnie is obviously still clueless to the smoke that is spreading throughout the kitchen and living room. Back inside the room we see Pete noticing the gestures that the camera man is making, causing to have his direction being aimed towards the kitchen where he notices the smoke emerging.
This causes Pete to jump from the couch, only to drop down to what we can only assume is his face…. (reason is that nobody has ever seen the real face of Pete). He slowly pushes his upper body off the floor before shaking his head, he quickly looks towards the opening to the kitchen as the smoke has increased due to the boiling pan of beans while Vinnie is laughing out loud to whatever lame story Bill Barnhart is telling.
Pete quickly gets back to his potted feet, taking off the bathrobe before jumping towards the kitchen. There he looks around, searching for something that is on fire only to notice the cooking pan that causes the beans to boil over. Pete then turns his attention towards Vinnie, who from experience is too disturbed to notice anything as he decides not to risk his chances to notify him but instead hobbles back to the living room. There he looks around to see if he can find something that he could use to distract Vinnie, but alas he cannot find anything while the time is ticking.
He hobbles over towards the hallway, there he finds a super soaker from Vinnie’s nephew Pepe. A lightbulb emerges above his head as he grabs it and runs off towards the kitchen and starts to climb towards the stove using a small step ladder to climb on top of the stove as he pushes the super soaker in the direction of the burning pan.
Vinnie: PETE!!! What are you doing???
Screams Vinnie out loud as he had suddenly noticed that Pete has a super soaker in his hands while standing on top of the stove, he quickly grabs for the super soaker but misses as Pete jumps away.
Vinnie: PETE!!!
Vinnie barely manages to stop himself from dropping face first into the boiling pan, realizing what Pete was trying to do as he looks around his kitchen for some pot holders for him to grab his pan.
Vinnie: Ai caramba!!! What a time to forget to pull them out of the washer!!!!
He looks at Pete, who looks back at him while aiming the super soaker at the pan only for Vinnie to grab hold of it before turning it to shoot onto the pan with beans…. Only…
Vinie: NO!!!! where is the damn water??!!!!
Screams Vinnie as we realize that he is keep pumping air in the direction of the pan of beans that only manages to push some smoke into the opposite direction.
Vinnie: PETE!!! Fill a bucket of water!!!!
We see Pete jump off the stove and looks into the cupboards for a bucket to fill before stumbling on the step ladder before filling it with tap water as Vinnie yanks it out of his hands and fills the super soaker before spraying it all over the smoke filled pan of beans….
Few hours later
We see Vinnie seated on the porch of his villa along with Pete, both of them are wearing bandages across their heads as well as their arms. Vinnie is trying to open the book of Pete’s adventures, but is very clumsily due to the bandages as it constantly falls through his fingers.
Vinnie: Damnit!!!
Vinnie places both hands in front of his face as he starts to sob, Pete leans in towards his friend as he places a bandaged hand upon his back. The two share a silent moment with each other as the camera pans out, showing that the top part of Vinnie’s mansion has been blown to pieces as if a bomb had exploded inside his mansion. The camera turns to the left as we see a van approach them, a door opens as Iris the Bulldog from Bill Barnhart runs out and jumps Pete while barking at him.
Bill Barnhart: Vinnie!! What happened?? You sounded so in shock, what happened to your mansion??
Vinnie looks up to his long time friend with tears in his eyes.
Vinnie: Oh Amigo William, I was cooking beans to make Pete some burrito’s, but we had a case of smoke happening just around the time that you called me.
Bill scratches the back of his head, clearly not seeing the link between the exploded mansion and some smoke.
Bill: Did Pete use fireworks in house again??
Vinnie: No William, he tried to save me by using a super soaker. But sadly it wasn’t filled with water, so we had to fill a bucket with water before soaking up the super soaker… and then…. KABOOM!!!
Bill: Kaboom??
Vinnie: Si Senor William, kaboom. You see, apparently the last time that Pete used the super soaker he had rubbed his hands with muscle balm that causes your muscles to heat up.
Bill: So??
Vinnie takes a deep sigh as he pats Pete on the head as the cacti lowers it in shame.
Vinnie: He had mistaken it for lubrication for some reason, so when I tried to use it the soaker it got so hot that it shot fire into the beans…. That came in contact with the stove and…. Well you can guess the rest of the story.
He sighs as he points to the house behind him as Bill finally understands what is going on.
Billie: Did you manage to save some important things from the explosion??
Vinnie taps upon the book upon the wild travels of his friend Pete as Pete raises his head up again and jumps up and down happily
Vinnie: We saved Pete’s book, it was the only thing that he could find as I was blinded due to the explosion. It was him that guided me to the outside while dragging this damn book with him.
Bill looks amazed to the rather small and not really muscular cactus, that dragged a close to 300 pound and 6 foot 8 Vinnie to the outside of the mansion as well a large book. He is about to ask Vinnie how, but decided against it.
Bill: Okay, well… you can stay with me and Bea for the time being until everything got repaired Vinnie.
Iris: Bark!!!!
Bill: Err.., I just want to ask you to share you rbedroom with Pete Vinnie. I know he and Iris really like each other, but uhm… I’m still too young to become a grandfather.
This causes Iris to growl in anger towards Bill Barnhart, who tells her to get back into the van as he is about to assist his harmed friend a hand.
Vinnie: Thank you Bill, you are truly a wonderful amigo.
Bill: No worries Vinnie, I know you would do the same thing for us… even though we do not cook beans for Burrito’s… we just order them by Taco Bell Har! Har! Har! Har!
The two men walk towards the van as Pete drags the book along with him while Iris is barking and circling around him in excitement. The shot fades as when everyone has gotten inside and the van drives off from the exploded remains of Vinnie’s mansion.
Inside Bill Barnhart’s house
The bedroom door to Vinnie’s bedroom opens as we see Vinnie walk in, behind him we see Pete hobble inside and jumps on top of the larges bed.
Vinnie: Uhm Pete?? You are supposed to sleep on the bed over there.
Vinnie points at a cupboard with the bottom drawer opened, there we see a pillow and a blanket showing a comfortable bed that is clearly made for Pete. This causes Pete to look at that bed before looking at his friend. He lowers his head before jumping off the bed and drags himself towards the drawer.
Vinnie: Ugh.. finally a bed of my own.
Sighs vinnie as he drops backwards on top of the bed before extending his arms, there he takes a few deep breaths before closing his eyes and drifts off to sleep.
Vinnie: Ugh… what the??
Vinnie jumps up only a few seconds as he looks at Pete, who has jumped on top of his stomach. Vinnie stares at him with an angry look on his face.
Vinnie: Pete, I told you already. I am not going to share my bed with you!!!!
But Pete is shaking his head before pointing his cacti arm to the nightstand next to Vinnie’s bed, annoyed Vinnie looks over his shoulder as he sees the book of Pete’s adventures that was placed there somehow.
Vinnie: How in the??
He doesn’t finish his sentence as he turns his attention towards his potted friend, who has put his cacti hands together in a praying fashion.
Vinnie: So you want me to read you to sleep??
Pete starts to nod his head up and down in an approving fashion before running back towards his bed inside the drawer as Vinnie sighs and grabs the book.
Vinnie: Okay, so where did I left off???
He searches for the book marker that he had left upon the part where he had ended the other day before scraping his voice a few times.
Vinnie: Okay…, I found it Pete.
Pete can be seen staring at him while having a picture of Iris and him hanging above him attached to a drawer that is closed.
Vinnie: So Pete had some big time success across both sides of the Mexican border with his patented and secret food ideas. His secret addition that caused women to throw themselves at his pot, dogs to drop bones as well as haters telling that it should be a vegetarian dish even praise him beyond your belief.
Pete looks up and extends a cacti hand as he gestures towards the cmera that seems to look like a thumbs up.
Vinnie: Even fast food chains were trying to sue him, claiming that he used their recipe’s. But clearly they had no proof to back their up their claims.
He coughs a little before continuing to read
Vinnie: You would think that being on top of the world would have given him so much happiness, but no. Pete was rather lonely, he missed the attention that he was used to from Iris.
Pete nods his head as he starts to wipe his face as if he was crying
Vinnie: Not many people may know this, but potted plants have feelings too. Especially the cacti are better known as the whining bitches of the entire plant race, being mocked at by everyone else
Pete’s head snaps back to Vinnie as he starts to wave his hands to him in order to cause him to stop talking, yet Vinnie completely ignores him.
Vinnie: I remember that it took Pete years before he finally became potty trained.
Pete jumps out of his drawer bed, only to fall flat on his “face”, only to push him back up again and charges to Vinnie with anger building inside of him.
Vinnie: I mean seriously, even Iris his girlfriend didn’t took as long before she became potty traaaaaaaaained!!!!
The final word gets extended by Vinnie in shock as he suddenly feels something sharp being driven into his big toe that swells up. This causes him to kick his feet out in reaction to the sudden sensation that seems to be a pin from Pete’s cacti skin…
Vinnie: PETE!!! WHY??!!!
Pete can be seen standing there with both arms crossed across his chest, clearly not amused by the sudden personal attack upon his past lack of bladder control. This sight causes Vinnie to turn from a beet red face of anger and shame to one of laughter as he realizes his mistake.
Vinnie: I will ask Iris if she is willing to join you in your drawer Pete, hoping that this will make it up to you.
Pete stands there before slowly loosening his anger towards his boss with a big time smile as he shows him a big thumbs up to Vinnie.
The end.
-Inside Bill Barnhart’s garage-
We return inside the garage of the Barnhart household, there we see a replica of the Sin City Wrestling ring in the middle. There on the ring apron we see Senor Vinnie standing there, waiting for his moment to be tagged in as his friend the cacti Pete is wrestling with a broomstick. The camera closes in on Vinnie while not taking the attention away from Pete, who just attempts to execute a Back Body Drop on the broomstick but gets dropped on his back due to the sheer seize and weight.
1!!
2!!!
Thre…
Pete manages to get his shoulder off the canvas just in time before SCW official Dawn Barnes could count to three as the camera turns towards Senor Vinnie.
Vinnie: Hola amigo’s and amiga’, Como Estas??
He says with a huge smile upon his face before turning his attention back towards Pete, who is starting to crawl over towards him as he extends his hand for a hot tag… But Pete is just inches away from doing so due to the sheer weight of the broomstick that has flattened him.
Vinnie: Don’t give up Pete, you can do it!!!
He raises up to his full size again as he motions for the camera to come closer.
Vinnie: You may ask yourself: “What are you doing Vinnie??” And to be honest?? That is a very good question. Well let me endulge you with an even better answer!!!
He gives us his patented smirk on his face as he continues.
Vinnie: You may have noticed that last week I have qualified for the Elimination Chamber, a contest where the winner will get all the riches…. Whereas the losers will have to go back to the drawing board and figure out what to do with their lives.
He watches Pete, who is trying to push the broomstick off of him but in the process pulls a groin.
Vinnie: You see, I decided to get myself prepared for the Strangest Bedfellows tag team match, where four men will fight in order to get some momentum going I suppose. And what a strange bedfellows indeed. I mean, we got Jayden Harris and Miles Kasey team up for the very first time I believe, as they take on to the unlikely team of Senor Vinnie and “Unbreakable” Eddy Lyons.
He scratches his head as he clearly does not know what to make off this.
Vinnie: Now to direct my attention towards my tag team partner, it is a good thing that you proclaim to be unbreakable amigo. Because I can see these two other individuals trying to mentally and physically break us.
He smiles
Vinnie: Now you may or may not have noticed, but I am quite an imposing figure. 6’8 and quite a physique specimen. I am a former World and Internet champion. Having waged wars in many tournaments, have battled the unlikeliest foes and quite honestly… The last few shows that I have been in have made me ponder, ponder whether this is the quality of superstars that are currently competing in this once great company. I mean seriously, we have seen many legends do the unthinkable things. We have seen legends get cheered and booed…
He scratches his beard as he watches Pete struggle
Vinnie: And all I had to deal with was Justin and my amigo’s amigo Felix Hernandez. And currently I am giving the latter a bye in the column of past opponents, because I am not capable of telling anything bad about friends. But you have to know that it bothers me that I have yet to face talent like Alex Jones, Mac Bane or even Fenris.
But he turns his attention towards the camera with a smile
Vinnie: But I bet Senor Harris and Senor Kasey will do everything in their ability to prove me and “The Unbreakable” wrong no??
He looks over towards the broomstick, who in some possible way has managed to get to his corner in order to tag in his tag team partner in the Vacuum Cleaner.
Vinnie: Now this is going to be interesting….
He watches Pete hobble around, trying to escape the vacuum cleaner who is following him.
Vinnie: I can honestly say that this must be Miles Kasey.
The camera man starts to move the camera violently, clearly trying to catch Vinnie’s attention what happens.
Vinnie: I understand that you fans, along with Senor Camera man wants to know why I came up with his comparison?? Now that is quite simple amigo’s… It’s all about air…
We see Pete struggle from being sucked into the vacuum cleaner as he is holding on to the bottom rope with both arms as Vinnie continues to talk.
Vinnie: You see amigo’s, there is one slight difference though between this “Milo” and the original. You see, when this “Milo” activates his sucking activities it at least has a purpose.
He raises an eyebrow towards the camera.
Vinnie: It tries to get rid of all the rubble, all the dust and everything else that will make this world a dirty place to live in. While when we turn towards Senor Miles, I can only state that it is nothing but a bunch of hot air…. Blowing nothing but whatever dirty deeds and disappointment in the faces of our beloved Sin City Wrestling Fans. Fans who pay a large price of their hard earned money for tickets… Expecting to be entertained, expecting to cheer their favourite wrestlers on and expect them to make them feel special.
Vinnie taps his well groomed bearded chin before he continues
Vinnie: You may tell me that this man is a fan favourite, a man that is well respected. And I will give him that, but that isn’t the criterium that I was looking for. Because when I mention all of these things… It will sum up someone like me. A mariachi, a success and a man that has the will and desire to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
We se e the vacuum cleaner near Vinnie while having Cactus Pete attached to handle of the vacuum cleaner. This gives Vinnie the opportunity to tag himself that gets allowed by Dawn. He then catches the vacuum cleaner off guard and deliver a Spine Buster that sends Pete over the top rope to the outside as Vinnie goes for the pin.
1!!
2!!!
3!!!!
Dawn calls for the bell as Vinnie gets up and wipes off the “sweat” off his body.
Vinnie: See? This is how you get the job done, and ready for a next challenge.
He points towards the broomstick.
Vinnie: Jayden Harris, a last name that has been synonymous in this company. A name that gathers a lot of expectations as well as disappointments.
He grabs hold of the broom as he starts to move it from left to right across the ring canvas while not taking his eyes off the camera.
Vinnie: Look Jayden, I am a man of few words. Because I am not the type of guy that wastes too much words on people like you and Milo, I prefer to just stick it with the basics. Basics that gets me far, basics that gets me past the likes of you and Milo over there, because me and “The Unbreakable One” are nothing but details.
He moves the broomstick even more across the canvas as he sports a smile
Vinnie: I consider you to be the broomstick of the team Jayden, you are nothing but a handful that could be quite dangerous, but only if you do not take matters in your own hands.
Vinnie suddenly lifts the broomstick above his head before breaking it in multiple pieces after blasting it back on the canvas.
Vinnie: But that’s the point Jayden, I am not the type of guy that allows little brats like you to take matters out of my hands and create chaos in my world. Because that’s what I only care about kid. Because where Miles does nothing besides blowing hot air, is where you are like a broom that cannot do anything but wipe.
Vinnie stomps his boot across the bottom part of the broom before wiping his feet clean
Vinnie: You see little kiddo, a broom has the purpose to wipe the dirt from the floor to keep things clean. And that’s all that I can honestly say is that I need to wipe my stinking boots clean from that stinking face of yours… because just like dirt likes to gather around on floors, underneath furniture and every single cracks that people often tend to overlook.
He finishes wiping his boots before kicking away the final pieces away before placing his hands onto his hips.
Vinnie: The only difference that I can find between you and a broom is that a broom tends to clean the surface of the filth that we cannot stand…. While you?
He wipes his finger in front of the camera with a huge smile upon his face.
Vinnie: You tend to drop every piece of filth in front of the faces of my beautiful fans Jayden, filth that gets extracted from that face of yours that is to this very day still connected with zits. Ever heard of Clearasil?
Vinnie grabs a bottle of Clearasil and some cotton wool in his other hand before pouring some of it on the cotton wool, he then squeezes the cotton wool in his hand. Causing the liquid to pour down onto the canvas as Vinnie smirks while shaking his head.
Vinnie: You see that Jayden? This resembles the desperation that you will feel once you lay your eyes upon a real man, a real champion. A man that has accomplished more within a few weeks in comparison to you in your entire life will ever achieve. And this tag team match is for me an example of what I will see once that pod is closed around us. To look into your eyes, watching how claustrophobia comes over you and breathing becomes more and more difficult…
He claps his hands, causing the remainder of the Clearasil to fly around in the air before wiping his hands clean to his pants.
Vinnie: I am going to walk into this tag team match with my tag team partner Jayden, walking in and clear every single hope and expectation that you and Miles have created for yourselves. Clear the smoke that may hover inside that peanut sized brain of yours and squash away every single hope of one day becoming relevant. The Mariachi of wrestling has returned, the one man that will walk into a ring and has got all the spotlights on HIM!!! Only to walk out with a final serenade for those who came in and paid for a ticket with their hard earned money… Because they and only they deserve an encore… The encore of Senor Vinnie and “The Unbreakable” to kick your asses….
He smirks as he nods his head towards the camera.
Vinnie: I have said what I came to say, so the only thing I got to do is wish you all luck…. And goodbye…
He waves in front of the camera before placing his hand in front of the camera as that causes the shot to fade to black.
