[GUY]

If there was anyone that stuck out like a sore thumb. It was GUY and today was no different. Walking down the hall in nothing more than a hospital gown. Thank the lord that he had the decency to leave his Batman underwear on. He was just roaming around aimlessly when the sound of loud crying caught his attention. Taking a few steps over Guy was able to see inside this large window to see a line up of newborn babies. His eyes zeroed in on the one baby that was making the most fuss with their crying. Reading the name tag that was at the end of its tiny baby. “LOGAN” was in baby blue lettering. Guy instantly scoffed at it.

[ G U Y ] --  Huzzah! That makes a lot of sense!

He pressed his face against the glass a little more. Almost like he was trying to mock the child with a face, but was quickly startled by a hand that gripped his shoulder so aggressively and spun him around. Guy instantly gets into a Kung-Fu stance ready to fight.

[ G U Y ] --  You wanna fawk on Guy?! Huh!?

As he was able to focus. It was revealed that the person that grabbed a hold of him. Was none other than his best friend - or - at least what Guy considered to be his best friend. Not quite sure that Calvin felt the same way.

[ C A L V I N ] --  I’ve been looking all over for you!

[ G U Y ] --  Guy is right here. So are fussy crybabies like Logan too apparently!

[ C A L V I N ] --  You know they could put you on a list. Checking out babies that aren’t yours. Dressed like this. And why are you--

Before Calvin could even finish the question that was currently in his head. He put his hands out and just stopped himself while shaking his head.

[ C A L V I N ] --  I’m not going to ask that question. I, on the other hand, am going to ask. Why the hell my son is informing his doctor that he broke his wrist because YOU told him to punch the neighbor kid?!

[ G U Y ] --  Pfft! Ollie-Pop would never sell out Guy like that.

[ C A L V I N ] --  Oh, but he did. His exact words were. “Guy said it was okay!” So, are you going to start talking or am I going to have to break my wrist from punching you in your face?!

[ G U Y ] --  Well... Your bones are brittle. Surprise that ankle is still letting you stand!

At that moment Guy thought he was clever. That was until Calvin grabbed a hold of the front of the hospital gown he was wearing. Guy quickly puts his hands up!

[ G U Y ] --  Hey! Hey! Don’t be mad at Guy.

[ C A L V I N ] --  This is why I told Alessandra. You watching the kids for a weekend was not a good fucking idea!

[ G U Y ] --  It’s a great idea. She’s a smart lady. You should listen to her more often. Buuuuuuuuut Ollie is likely in a lot of pain right now. Poor little dude. So he’s not exactly explaining things well. What happened was Guy only told Ollie to stand up to a bully.

[ C A L V I N ] --  Bully? Those kids play together all the time. I’ve never once seen him bully, Ollie.

[ G U Y ] --  But he is a bully. Ollie was excited to share his new painting with his fren and that fren turned out to not be a fren when he said the painting was stupid and ugly.

[ C A L V I N ] --  And that’s grounds to punch a kid in the face?! Good god. It’s a great thing that you’re not a father.

[ G U Y ] --  Wow! Wow! Just hateful for no reason at all!

Finding himself gasping pretty hard and holding his chest in an over dramatic manner.

[ G U Y ] --  Of course not! Guy isn't an uncultured swine! Guy only told Ollie to stand up to the bully once he took the painting and threw it in the dirt. That was uncalled for. You have to stand up for yourself and more importantly you have to stand up for your masterpieces. No one else is going to do it for you!

[ C A L V I N ] --  And now my kid is getting a cast on his wrist because you couldn’t be the adult in the situation. You couldn’t be the voice of reason. Instead of thinking things through. You just act and now you’re teaching Oliver bad habits.

[ G U Y ] --  No. Guy is teaching him a great habit. You never let anyone disrespect you or anything you are super excited about. Bullies are the reasons why lots of kids don’t enjoy school. They’re the reason lots of kids fall out of love with things they love. Bullies are the reason kids feel bad about themselves.

[ C A L V I N ] --  Yes this is true, but...

[ G U Y ] --  But you hush and listen to Guy! Because sometimes in the worst of the worst situations. Bullies are the reason that some people aren’t here anymore and that’s not okay!

There was a hint of true emotion coming from Guy. Almost like for the first time he truly seemed human and had more to him than just a goofy mindset. Calvin’s eyebrow raised some.

[ G U Y ] --  Ollie is a sweet, unique, super imaginative, creative young man. No one should ever make him feel less than what he is. No one should ever bully him because he’s different. Guy knows what that is like. He was different. He was unique. He was bullied for that. He was bullied for his creative ideas and his masterpieces. Guy was bullied and called names. Made to feel the lowest of the low. It’s not a great feeling. Guy wishes he would’ve had someone years ago tell him to punch a bully in the face or to even stand up to a bully. Things would have been easier.

He had balled up his fist tightly. So tight that it was making those already pale knuckles of his look even paler. This truly seemed to bother him.

[ G U Y ] --  Heck, look at everything Guy deals with now. He’s not even a child anymore and he’s still bullied. He still has horrible people say horrible things about him. He walks in locker rooms and people still try to bully him for being different. He has people trying to bully him and say he’s a bad referee or bully him and say he’s a bad wrestler. He has people try to bully him and get him fired. Bullies are everywhere, but they can be stopped. Sometimes talking works. Sometimes punching them in the face works. One way or another it stops. It’s something Guy had to learn, but if he can teach Ollie now. If he can guide Ollie and make things easier for him. That’s what he’s going to do. Yeah, Guy told him to punch that bully in the face as hard as he could. And you know what? Guy would tell him to do it again if it came down to it!

Huffing a little bit. Guy folded his arms across his chest and seemed to hold his ground on the situation at hand. The silence amongst the two made things a little uncomfortable. Calvin rubbed the back of his neck a little. Guilt starting to settle in.

[ C A L V I N ] --  Listen man. Maybe I was a little too harsh. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so hot about the situation. Maybe I should have gotten the full scoop but...

[ G U Y ] --  But Guy did the right thing. Ollie did the right thing. Bullies can only be stopped when you stand up to them. You know Guy is right. You freakin’ know it.

Calvin stood there for another moment in silence. Rubbing his temples a little bit. He hated being forced to admit Guy was right and there had been a few times it happened before. It’s just something that would always be thrown in his face. Yet in this situation he had a point. If what he said really did happen then Guy taught Ollie the right thing.

[ C A L V I N ] --  I get what you have to stand up for yourself sometimes.

[ G U Y ] --  Admit it. Admit it. Guy is right!

[ C A L V I N ] --  Fine! You’re right. Sometimes you do have to punch a motherfucker in the mouth to make them realize you’re not the one to keep fucking with.

[ G U Y ] --  Yiiis! Yiiis! Down with Bullying!

Throwing up a major thumbs down on his right hand. Furthering the point he was trying to make. Calvin rolled his eyes for the moment.

[ C A L V I N ] --  Regardless of if it was or wasn’t the right thing to do. Alessandra isn’t going to think so and knowing her baby boy got hurt. She’s not going to be in a real good mood.

[ G U Y ] --  You have fun with that...

[ C A L V I N ] --  Excuse me?! This happened under your watch. You’re going to be the one to explain to her what happened. Not me.

[ G U Y ] --  Mmmm! Guy can’t do that. Sorry to say!

[ C A L V I N ] --  Why the hell not?!

[ G U Y ] --  That’s because Guy has his own bully he has to go get ready to punch in the face!

[ C A L V I N ] --  Guy. I swear to---

[ G U Y ] --  LALALALALALALA!

Guy plugged his fingers into his ears and was making that sound as loud as he could. Trying to completely drown out Calvin the best he could anyway. All while walking right past him and leaving Calvin standing there in the middle of the hallway of the hospital just irritated by the situation. But as long as Guy escaped the wrath of Alessandra. He was happy.



The scene is slow to fade in from black, but when it does so the scenery becomes unique to say the least. Inside what appeared to be a warehouse and there was a lot happening. An odd display of weapons being rolled down a conveyor belt. Things could be seen ranging from a trash can lid to a mop to even balloon animals.

If the scene itself wasn’t odd and making the viewers question what the heck was going on. The little orange men with green hair all around the warehouse had to push things over the edge. Deep in their work with loading weapons and carrying them out. Some of them break out in song as they work. Making the scene all that more odd.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #1 ] -- Oompa Loompa. Doompa-dee-do. We’ve got so much work to do.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #2 ] -- Oompa Loompa. Doompa-dee-dee. Our King is here with a message for you!

About that time one of the little men came pushing a cart full of weapons inside of it, but sitting on top of that cart was none other than the weirdo himself. Guy With Cape of as he commonly referred to himself as King Guy. The little man stopped pushing long enough for Guy to hop off before continuing on. That painted smile on Guy’s expression started to take its form.

[ G U Y ] --  Huzzah! My minions! King Guy has arrived!

That smile of his only seemed to get bigger for the moment.

[ G U Y ] --  Guy would personally like to welcome you minions to Guy’s Funhouse. This is where all of Guy’s best ideas come from. And as you can see Guy along with his friends are very hard at work. We’re trying to make sure that we’re stocked up for our road trip to Bakersfield! Cuz in case you minions are living under a rock with Patrick Star and haven’t heard the fantastic news. Guy will be stepping into the ring once again! Giving all the wonderful minions at Sin City Wrestling what they have been asking for, for quite sometime now!

Now for some reason or another. The Holy Christian dude seems to think that putting your King in a match is a punishment of some kind. Not even close to a punishment. Guy is always ready to go and since he knows it's something my minions want. He’s going to put on a show, which is exactly what he used his smarts to get it to be contested under Guy’s Funhouse rules. It’s going to be exciting. It’s going to put massive butts in seats. It’s going to bring ratings. And more than anything at all. It’s bringing lots and lots of monies to Guy’s pockets!

For a brief second he rubbed his hands together. If there was one thing that made Guy the most happy -- outside of his cape and a new paint brush. It was money. Money made the world go around and the more of it he had. The happier he was. Starting to take a stroll inside that warehouse. He forced the cameras to keep up with him.

[ G U Y ] --  When there is monies to be made. Guy is always going to answer the call, but the only reason he’s being given a chance to answer the call is because someone is being a giant crybaby. He's being quite the massive tool. He’s being a loser, a bozo, and a giant complainer. Whining and throwing a temper tantrum like a child.

At that particular moment two of the little orange people carrying steel chairs in their hands were walking by. Overhearing the conversation Guy was having with his minions and couldn’t help but to insert themselves.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #3 ] -- Who are you talking about our beloved King?!

[ G U Y ] --  Logan?!

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #4 ] -- Oh My! The Great Wolverine?!

[ G U Y ] --  Guy freakin’ wishes. That would be sooooooooo much cooler! It’s Logan Hunter.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #3 ] -- Who?!

[ G U Y ] --  Uh. Has a lady friend that sounds like one of those A.I. Robots?

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #4 ] -- Oh so you mean Elon Musk?

[ G U Y ] --  No. If Logan was Elon. Somehow that would be redeeming quality.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #3 ] -- This Logan. You are talking about our beloved King doesn’t ring a bell.

[ G U Y ] --  Don’t worry about it my frens. No one else really knows who he is either.

Reaching down to pat one of the little guys on the head. All for a brief moment before walking away from them and again forcing the camera crew to keep up with him.

[ G U Y ] --  You've been complaining and crying. Fussing about. For what? Over what? Because you are the dumb-dumb and fail to realize that Guy is literally the BESTEST Referee that SCW has ever had?! Because you are childish and refuse to give credit where credit is due? Because you’re a loser that doesn’t know how to win and you can’t accept that? Because you can’t look your ugly mug in the mirror and just confess to yourself that you just aren’t that good?! Can your King get a major womp womp up n this biznitch?!

No sooner than those words came out of his mouth and he threw his arms into the air. Every single one of the orange people stopped their working task to shout at the top of their lungs in unison.

[ ALL OOMPA LOOMPAS ] -- WOMP WOMP!

[ G U Y ] --  Yiiiiiiiiiiis! A big womp womp right to you, Logan. Though since you wanna be a little crybaby. Guy decided to go back and do a deep dive into things. First and foremost Guy has only overseen ONE. Yes just ONE of your matches, but apparently it was enough to cause a meltdown. Watching that match back Guy can one hundred and fifty five and quarter percent say he did nothing wrong. He called it right down the middle. As a matter of fact, crybaby Logan. You won that match. So exactly how the heck did your King do wrong by you? Hmmm?! Can you form a logical explanation? One that doesn’t make you sound like a babbling buffoon?!

For the moment there was nothing but silence that filled the air. Guy legitimately gave this man a chance to explain himself. Knowing damn well he was nowhere in the area, but hey it was the thought that counts right? Well at least in his head. That’s the way it worked.

[ G U Y ] --  Just like Guy expected. You have nothing to say for yourself. No real reason at all to complain. You just do it on the Twitter machine for the attention. Thank goodness Guy learned how to mute your tweets long ago. No time for trash filling up his timeline. King Guy is just there for boobies and lawls. That’s it. More people should be like Guy and mute you too, but it is what it is. Point is Guy knew you were wrong about his great officiating. Especially considering you won in the first place ding-dong! But even with Guy knowing that. He still tried to see it from your point of view.

Really difficult thing to do when it means lowering Guy’s IQ. Nevertheless he still tried. Guy came up with two possible things that made you cranky pants. First one being Guy tossed your robot girlfriend from the ringside and then when you pushed Guy. Guy said nu uh baby boy thang and pushed you right back. Conveniently right into Justin Smith who almost pinned you. That sure would be embarrassing. People would laugh at you more than they already do. But you somehow someway was able to kick out. Good for you, I guess. If that’s what made you mad and made you trash talk your King’s officiating.

Too bad. You put your hands on Guy first and that’s a no-no. You look at any professional wrestling referee handbook and trust me Guy reads his all the time. It’s one of the first things mentioned. Wrestlers are not to touch the referees and if they do. Then it is an automatic disqualification. Match over. Bye bye take your punk butt back to the locker room. Guy bent the rules. He gave you a second chance. He allowed you to keep fighting and attempt to have a good match. Not going to happen with you, but he still gave you a chance. You should be more thankful rather than ungrateful, dummy!

Guy was shaking his head a little bit from side to side in a little bit of a disappointed manner. As he was doing so one of those little orange men approached him. They just so happened to have a giant clothespin on their nose. Doing their best not to gag while holding up with their tiny arms two objects. The first one was a bucket of old fish. The other one being a pair of underwear with some questionable stains right down the middle.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #5 ] -- Please. Oh god... Please tell me these are not actually going with us King!

[ G U Y ] --  They are.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #5 ] -- For the love of God. Why?

[ G U Y ] --  Well with the amount of crap that comes out of Logan’s mouth every week. Might as well shove those right down his throat. And the fish? That’s just going to help wash it all down.

[ OOMPA LOOMPA #5 ] -- Ew! I am going to be sick!

The gagging sounds came from the little orange man as he went walking away carrying those items. Guy shook his head again before putting his attention right back to the viewers.

[ G U Y ] --  If that wasn’t the source of your bitchery. Then it has to be the other thing. It has to be HOW you won that match. Again, Guy would just like to point out that it isn’t his fault. That you are not a great wrestler. You’re not even good. Mediocre and passable at best in the words Guy would use to describe you. Your win was never going to be this big most talked about thing. Especially not against dusty ass Justin. Everyone beats him! But again if you knew how to use the brain you have. You’d remember it was YOU that swung a chair at Guy’s head. What was Guy supposed to do? Be like you? Not use his brain? Just let you hit him? Guy understands you aren’t smart and dont understand reality at all, but that was just never going to happen. Guy moved. You knocked yourself out. You fell into a pin. Guy counted one, two, three. That’s just how it played out. Cry and river. Then float down it bozo!

The childish nature of Guy shining through as he just spat his tongue out at the cameras.

[ G U Y ] --  After reviewing that tape. After coming up with those points. After trying to make sense of it all. It still didn’t make sense to Guy. It really didn’t. That was until Guy has that AH-HA moment. The Ah-Ha moment came over the weekend. Guy knows what the real issue is. The real issue is you’re upset that you don’t get to be the bully you have always been. You have always been able to pick on people. You have always been able to make fun of people. You have always been able to make people feel bad about themselves. And that bully mentality has always made you feel like you were something special.

Now all of that has been taken away from you. You can’t make Guy feel bad about himself. Guy knows he's an awesome person. He’s a lovable person. He makes people laugh and smile. He makes people feel good. Guy loves himself. Unlike you, you don’t love yourself. That’s why you became a bully in the first place. But because you can’t get under Guy’s skin. Because you can’t bully Guy. Because your bully are null and void. It’s made you grrr-so-angry Logan and now trying to make it sound like Guy is the bully.

Making it sound like Guy bullied you in that match. Making it sound like Guy made you question yourself and made you feel bad about yourself. Trying to make it sound like Guy bullied you into almost losing. Anything and everything to make yourself sound like the victim in all of this. Only problem is. No one is buying it. No one is taking you seriously. No one sees Guy has the bully and that bothers you even more. But it’s fine. Guy is gonna do to you what he used to do to all his high school bullies. Punch them in the face!

And the moment he punches you in the face. Reality is going to set in for you, Logan. You’re going to start thinking that maybe just maybe. Being a bully all your life wasn’t a good idea. You’re going to start to think that maybe projecting onto someone else being a bully wasn’t a good idea. You’re really going to start questioning all of those life choices, but that’s when it’s going to be far too late, dude. And let this be a lesson to anyone and everyone that’s ever been bullied. Take a stand against them. Shout out to my bestest of bestest friends Ollie-Pop!

His smirk once again formed over his painted lips. Showing just how much he believed everything he was saying at that moment. There was every bit of that comic relief that people loved in the caped warrior, but at the same time. There was an edge to him. Showing a side that wasn’t shown often.

[ G U Y ] --  At the end of the day though Loga. All that whining and crying finally got you somewhere. It got you this match. A match with the greatest King that Sin City Wrestling has ever had. A match that’s going to be up to Guy to make interesting. Because the Big Fella in the Sky knows that you’re going to do nothing but make people want to make sure they walk away to get concessions or go take a bathroom break if it was up to you to promote the match. As a matter of fact Guy knows word for word what you’re going to say before you say it. You’ll talk about how much of a tough guy you are.

How you’re going to “Kill” Guy. How you’re going to beat Guy up. Call Guy a clown like a thousand times. Like seriously, how many times are you going to call Guy a clown? Like it’s some kind of witty and clever insult hmm? Does Guy have a big red nose? Does he get hired to do birthday events? Is he doing tricks and stunts for monies? Nooo, Guy is not. Yet that’s the best you can come up with. You’re just an unimaginative boring snoozefest Logan. Always have been. Always will be. So once again it’ll be up to King Guy to reel the people in and make them want to see you get your backside kicked. And what better way to do it in a Guy’s Funhouse match?!

You see a lot of people, including you, like to think that Guy isn’t smart, but he’s actually a lot smarter than you think. Like Guy mentioned earlier, he knew once he got the Holy Christian man to sign off on this match. It was going to bring ratings. It would bring fans. It would bring monies. But Guy also knew that it was going to get under your skin and make you rage out just a little more. Guy knew what kind of advantage it gave him and what kind of disadvantage it put you at. This gives Guy the chance to embarrass you in the worst ways and there’s nothing you can do about it. Because it was all done by design! Guy’s big master plan kekekekeke!

That over the top snickering consumed him in a big way. All while he rubbed his hands together like some kind of evil genius that was revealing his master plan to take over the world. About that time Guy stopped walking as he was approaching a big door that was raised up where a white van that had “Candy” spray painted on the side of it was being loaded up with all these weapons that had been seen.

[ G U Y ] --  The masterplan has always been to see to it that you become the biggest joke that SCW has ever seen. Sure, you’re going to complain about the match. You’ll cry about Guy having the advantage. You’ll be upsetty spaghetti that no one has sympathy for you and that you didn’t get things the way you wanted. Even though as Guy already mentioned. Your whining and crying got your this match to begun with. It’s what you wanted! You’re just not in control with all the perks. You’re a walking contradiction. But the major thing about this match is what happens when you lose.

Guy gains nothing out of beating you. Nothing at all. No title shots. No week’s paid vacation. No main event matches. No major push. And certainly no extra cash monies -- which is all Christian’s fault. All Guy gets of it is bragging rights and feeling good about exposing you. Yet when it comes to the loss. You know that’s the end for you, Logan. You might have a few people buying onto your bullcrap right now. You might have a few people thinking you’re a future star and future main event player.

However the moment Guy pins your shoulders to the mat. That’s all over. No one will ever look at you the same again. No one will ever respect you. No one will ever see you as a vital threat. No one will see you as a main event star or even a future champion. You become worse than that Bulldog roaming around here. You become worse than Justin Smith. You become everyone’s punching bag. The person people are going to kick around just to feel better about themselves.

And deep down. Deeeeeeeeeeeeep down in that little bitty barely worth ticking heart of yours. You know that’s what will happen. It terrifies you. It scares you. It makes you fearful of this match. Even if you won’t say it or acknowledge it. It’s the truth. You don’t want this to happen, but can you stop it? Can you find a way to be better than Guy? Can you find a way to be better than a true King? Those are the heavy hitting questions you’re asking yourself. The answer is... no. You can’t beat Guy!

Guy stepped right off the platform and onto the concrete ground. Finding himself taking a few steps forward to the driver’s side door of that van. Pulling it open and starting to climb up. Just as the orange people were loading the last bit of weapons into the back. Breaking out in song once again.

[ ALL OOMPA LOOMPAS ] -- Oompa Loompa. Doompa-dee-do. Logan, you are a troll. Oompa Loompa. Doompa-dee-dee. Never again will you experience happiness!

Two of the little orange men pushed the door shut with force. Guy then leaning out the window of the driver’s side and looked right back at the cameras.

[ G U Y ] --  Logan. Your buttocks is grass, partner!

The squealing tires from Guy stepping on the gas consumed everyone’s ears for that moment. Smoke and gravel kicking up for a few seconds with the van starting to pull away from the warehouse. All the little orange men standing there waving goodbye to Guy as he pulled onto the road and away he went. That’s when the cameras finally found themselves fading away to black.