Being in Sweden away from his family was always a tough time for J2H, being away from his family in general wasn't always the easiest thing, but across the world was more trying for him. For years he knew in his head that they kept him sane, that they were the rock of his life, the anchor that kept him on the rails. He had formed a brotherhood of sorts with Kevin Carter and Alexander Raven to the point he could easily consider them to be friends, but his family kept him grounded. He made sure to call a couple of times a day at least.
Staring at a laptop screen, he hits a button and a familiar call tone is heard before Melody's face pops up on his screen.
Melody: Hey!
Her excitement always made him smile.
J2H: Hey! How ya doing over there?
Melody: We're great. James has been trying to talk me in to coming over to see you since you left.
James Jr was the ultimate daddy's boy, J2H's biggest fan, one of wrestling's biggest fans and the reason J2H decided to get back in the ring. He was always proud of the way his son looked up to him and understood wrestling more then most wrestlers do.
J2H: School starting soon, so he can't be travelling all over the place, but at least he'll be in London.
Melody: He can't wait, he's been talking non stop about being there and seeing everyone. He's excited to see you.
J2H: I can't wait. I mean this tour hasn't been the most stressful thing in the world, even if some of the places have been shitty.
Melody: How's Sweden?
J2H: Fucking cold. I'm staying away from most people.
Melody jokingly rolled her eyes at her husband.
Melody: Now that doesn't sound like you. You're always so social.
Melody smiled as he took her joke well. Everyone knew that he wasn't the biggest social guy, he generally disliked a lot of people and hated being around strangers. He even avoided all the fan events and stuck to regular media to sell shows.
J2H: Oh yeah, people are my faves.
He shrugged as Melody smiled at him.
J2H: This feels fucking weird, I feel like I'm doing an old school boring Jessie Salco promo, sitting in a hotel room with a laptop boring people.
Melody tried to keep a straight face but her smile shone through.
Melody: Yeah, but you make it look good. Can I ask you something?
He arched an eyebrow in curiosity. Melody wasn't know to ask something like that when it came to her husband, she'd generally just ask away.
J2H: Of course.
Melody: What's the deal with this match you're in? Usually you're in more high profile stuff on these tours and not in these kind of things.
It was a good question that J2H had been trying to wrap his mind around constantly since he heard about it.
J2H: Maybe a couple of idiots booked it. I really don't know, but I thought it would be more of a challenge. I mean being real, this roster fucking sucks. Peter Vaughn could have been a big part of things if he didn't have a hissy fit, Goth could have too if he stuck around. The only good thing outside me, Alexander and Kevin is Kris Ryans. Looking at this thing, they need me to draw people in, in the top matches but this thing is silly.
Melody: I don't understand it.
J2H: Me neither, but fuck it, I'll go do what I do best and kick the hell out of all of them and walk out more loved then ever.
Melody grinned at her husband.
Melody: Nothing wrong with your ego.
J2H: Never has been. I can only work with what's in front of me and bullshit Bill, who the fuck is Justin and fatboy not so slim are the ones in front of me. I'll just do what I do, then go beat up Jayden again for shit and giggles.
The conversation went on for hours, the two exchanging laughs and smiles. He was more relaxed now he had seen his wife, but had to cut the conversation off after a while to make a move to his next place of call, The Royal Palace.
The Royal Palace in Stockholm can be seen as a backdrop but the cameras move away a little, just watching the crowd moving on with their day. The camera swings to the right to see J2H standing there, his hoodie pulled up and cap covering his head.
J2H: This is what this bullshit tour is about right? Being royal? Hmmm. It's only fitting that you should have someone like me booked on there somewhere because well, I am SCW royalty. A million people in this city and here I am king of them all. I deserve to be looked on with rose tinted eyes and adored and the people of this city do just that, they want to see me in action against some of the best SCW has to offer. The Finn Whelan dream match maybe? Kris Ryans and I rolling it back to one of the classics we had, but no, let's not take the hottest trio SCW has ever seen and give them something these people can remember for the rest of their lives.
He grits his teeth in disappointment.
J2H: No, they give us a drunk, an old man lying about his age and a lard ass!
He shook his head slowly, he could feel the disappointment in himself without even saying their names.
J2H: What kind of fucking way to treat the only people that make SCW worth watching? Seriously, no one else does shit around, no one else can build a single fucking thing, half this place would struggle to build Lego blocks, but we can and we give you fucking glorious shit to watch and you give us these three clowns. I don't even know where the fuck to begin talking about these idiots to sell this thing because.... I just don't know.
He put his hands on the side of his head, rubbing his temples as the tension inside his head built up more and more.
J2H: I gotta go with age before beauty because you're all ugly little fucks, but lets start with Mr. Bullshit himself, Bill Barnhart.
J2H raises his hand for a second.
J2H: You might not claim to be the oldest in this match, but dude, look at you. You're clearly old enough to get government assistance because you've been in your thirties for forty years and trust me, it really shows that you're that old. Your wrestling style is right out of the seventies. Fucking hell old timer, no one uses those moves anymore, seriously. You are literally the most unevolved wrestler on the planet. The moves list is older then dirt, the style, the shitty catchphrases, the promos, my fucking god, the promos.
J2H clenches his fist.
J2H: Bro, stop using song lyrics in your shit, it's old, it's boring and everyone knows you're doing it to just take up time to make your promos longer.... Just fucking stop!
He slowly unclenches his fist.
J2H: Seen one Bill Barnhart promo, seen them all, all the same monotone bullshit. You're fucking lucky to even be in a ring with us, you know that? After this one, you can go back to fighting people on your level like your dumb ass partners. We know your level, some kind of narrator who sounds like he's half asleep, you just rambling on and on and on, with another boring tone kicking in, that of your can't cut a promo to save her life bitch of yours, and I'm not talking about your flea ridden dog, chuck in some song lyrics from bands so old, they're either six foot under and getting sponge baths in the retirement home and you expect people to actually be interested in your shit. Not hating breaking this to you Bill, but no one is interested in your stuff, no one gives a shit about Bill Barnhart. The only reason they're gonna give a shit about you is because you'll be in the ring with greatness, the greatness of me, Kevin and Alexander.
He looks around himself for a second before continuing.
J2H: Justin Smith. Who the fuck are you? I mean seriously, call yourself the terror of a place no one is sure actually exists, come to SCW and all you've done is terrorised local bars and catering. Seriously man, what the fuck is your deal?
A puzzled look appears on his face.
J2H: You show up, say a few words, get your ass kicked like a ginger step child and rinse and repeat and you honestly think you could make a difference in this match and help your team to the most famous win you'll ever have? I think not Justin, I think you're out of your fucking mind if you think you could stand a chance. Let's be real for a second bro, I could beat all three of you at once, on my own with an arm tied behind my back. You're not even a thought to me at this point Justin, you're not gonna be a thought to be after this one either. The fact that some genius has put you in the same ring with me blows my fucking mind because you're so bad, you shouldn't even be in the same country as me, you shouldn't be on the same continent as me, let alone in the same fucking company. They must have hired you in some equal opportunity bullshit. You know you don't belong here and you never have belonged here and you never will. My spotlight is gonna burn the fuck out of you and you will not be the same again Justin.
A slight smile crosses J2H's face.
J2H: Back to that fictional land you claim to terrorize.
He waves his hands away, to indicate Justin going.
J2H: And now on to you lard ass and yes, I am fat shaming cause you're fucking fat and disgusting and the whole world agrees with that.
A smile crosses J2H's face.
J2H: Mr One Win himself. No one's seen you for a while, people forgot you existed and I know you're very much in to conspiracy theories, so I got one for you chubs. My theory is your ass grew so wide, they had to remove a wall and hire a crane to pull you from your mothers basement.
A serious look appears on his face.
J2H: I'm pretty sure that's accurate, but maybe it was an injury. Shoulder or wrist injury playing with those special sock puppets you have hidden under your bed. Either way, make sure you wash those sausage fingers of yours before coming anywhere near me you disgusting animal.
A look of disgust matches his tone.
J2H: So why are you back Troll boy? Is this the great return of the one match wonder? Did momma start charging you rent so you had to return to work? It's a bad time for you to come back to work because I'm in the mood to fight, I'm in the mood to kick the shit out of someone and it just so happens you're the guy full of shit. It just so happens I've been looking to remind these people that I am the best fucking wrestler in the world and beating up Jayden Harris every single week is just a side gig that's a whole lot of fun. Beating you up chunk will be just as fun. Punching a fat fuck repeatedly, so much easier on the hands so you my little porky friend, you're just gonna be my personal punch bag for the ten seconds in the ring before you start crying your eyes out like the bitch you are. I was gonna call you a little bitch then but everyone knows the only place you're little...
J2H points down.
J2H: This is gonna be the worst comeback of all time for you Troll, because I'm gonna beat ya like ya momma should have, and speaking of your mother, tell her she's welcome and to enjoy the flight.
J2H smirks.
J2H: The truth is, is you three are just here to get the shit kicked out of you, you three are just here to get beat in to the fucking ground and beat in to the ground you shall be. These people of Sweden have come here to see a show and to see you three beating by the best trio in SCW. I won't disappoint them because all three of you do not stand a fucking chance, but I am feeling generous. Not only will I give you a beating worthy of who I am, I'll give you all an award, because none of you will ever win one any other way. Awards for the most unevolved wrestler in the world, one for longest losing streak of the year and one for fat ass of the year. As stupid as you three are with your four brain cells between ya, I bet even you three can work out which is which.
He takes a deep breath.
J2H: And as for you Jayden Harris, take a very good look at what's about to happen here because the same fate awaits you. That's real talk bitch!
J2H turns and walks away as the scene fades.
