I HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO EARN A SPOT IN THE ULTIMATE X ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH AT SUMMER XXXTREME XII
Narrator: Wow! I’m happy for Felix THE CAT Hernandez! Although he did not win his debut match in Sin City Wrestling his second match assignment he has an opportunity to obtain a spot in the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme XII.
The scene shifts from the Narrator to a shot of Felix Hernandez who is relaxing in his hotel room which is located near the Toyota Arena in Ontario, California, where the assigned camera person is already broadcasting the comments Felix will present for his match.
OPENING COMMENTS
Felix: Imagine my surprise, being a newcomer to Sin City Wrestling, and having lost my debut match in Sin City Wrestling, that I am in a Triple Threat Roulette Rules match at Climax Control 399. The match consists of myself, Aiden Reynolds, and Justin Smith. The winner gets the fourth spot in the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match scheduled for Summer XXXTreme XII. I intend on winning this match and then proving to everyone that I am a force to reckon with in Sin City Wrestling when I win the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme XII.
Felix flashes two thumbs up into the camera.
GENERAL COMMENTS
Felix: When I joined Sin City Wrestling I made it known that I used to work with Bill Barnhart in Asylum Wrestling Alliance. Bill earned every Championship Asylum Wrestling Alliance had except for the new one they created a few weeks before they closed Asylum Wrestling Alliance. I, on the other hand, only earned half the Championships available in Asylum Wrestling Alliance as they closed the Federation before I could obtain the other Championships. Here at Climax Control 399 I have the opportunity to defeat two wrestlers in a Roulette Rules match. And when I successfully defeat Aiden Reynolds and Justin Smith then at Summer XXXTreme XII I will be in the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match against Alexander Raven, Helluva Bottom Carter, and Bill Barnhart. Do you want to know what the best part of the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match? I don’t have to defeat all three wrestlers by pinfall, submission, or count out, since the concept of that match is that the winner of the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match is the wrestler who can climb up the scaffolding, grab the Roulette Championship Belt, and drop into the pool. For me that is easier than shooting fish in a barrel.
Felix flashes a huge grin into the camera.
Felix: Let me give you some comments concerning my Stainless-Steel Briefcase which I call my Magic Bag Of Tricks after the Magic Bag Of Tricks the cartoon character, Felix The Cat carried around with him.
Felix reaches down and grabs the handle of his stainless-steel briefcase and he places it on his lap for the camera person to get a shot of it.
Felix: Since I refuse to tell others what I have in my Stainless-Steel Briefcase, which I call my MAGIC BAG OF TRICKS after the Magic Bag Of Tricks Felix The Cat in the cartoon, people are upset for me not telling them what is in my briefcase. What you need to know is that what comes out of my MAGIC BAG OF TRICKS Stainless-Steel Briefcase is the decision of the entity that inhabits the MAGIC BAG OF TRICKS and I have no control what goes into, or comes out of, my MAGIC BAG OF TRICKS briefcase. I will explain that to you later in my comments.
Felix returns the briefcase to the floor then he looks into the camera to continue with his comments.s
Felix: Let me tell you how things are so you all will stop harassing me to try to get me to reveal what in my Stainless-Steel Briefcase. If it is Easter season then the entity that controls the Briefcase may have an Easter Bunny and some Peeps in the Briefcase. If it is Independence Day, the Fourth Of July, the entity that controls the Briefcase might have fireworks in the Briefcase. If it is Halloween there is a chance the Briefcase might have a Jack-O-Lantern, Halloween costumes, and for darn sure some Candy Corn created there by the entity that controls the Briefcase. If is is Thanksgiving there may be a Thanksgiving Turkey and a Ham in the Briefcase at the whim of the entity that controls the Briefcase.. If it is Christmas then the entity that controls the Briefcase may have a Santa Claus doll, some candy canes, and some of Santa’s Elves in my briefcase.
Felix lets out a round of hearty laughter.
Felix: Then again. . .maybe. . .just maybe. . .I am bullshitting you to throw you off balance. There’s only one way to find out. If your curiosity is is high then go talk with Sin City Wrestling Management and ask them to schedule you for a match against me and then you might just find out what amazing things the entity that controls the Briefcase has created in my Magic Bag Of Tricks Stainless-Steel Briefcase.
Felix looks deeply into the camera which comes across as creepy.
Felix: As with the Felix The Cat cartoon character and his Magic Bag Of Tricks my briefcase serves the same purpose which is to support and protect the owner of the briefcase. In my case the entity that controls the briefcase is there to protect me. The cartoon character Felix The Cat did not purchase the bag in a store and then stock it full of items he could use to defend himself. Felix The Cat never manufactured anything that came out of his Magic Bag Of Tricks. If you research the history of the Felix The Cat you will find out that it was the Magic Bag Of Tricks that came to Felix and attached itself to him to protect him and provide him items he could use to defend himself against attacks. Felix The Cat never put items into the Magic Bag Of Tricks as it was the bag that had the powers to manufacture whatever Felix The Cat needed to get out of a sticky situation. So please remember that it was not Felix The Cat the cartoon character who chose the Magic Bag Of Tricks. . .It was the Magic Bag Of Tricks that chose Felix The Cat.
Felix Hernandez picks up his Stainless-Steel Briefcase and again holds it up for the camera to get a shot of.
Felix: So you all need to remember something. I did not select the Magic Bag Of Tricks Stainless-Steel Briefcase. . .it chose me. I am not able to put items into the Briefcase for me to use against others as it is the Briefcase that provides the exact item, or items, I need to fend off attacks. I can tell you something and you can take it at face value. Most of the time having the Magic Bag Of Tricks Briefcase provide me the exact item I need to overcome an attack. . .it is also a curse for me as I am not able to open the Briefcase whenever I want to retrieve an item to use against an attack. There! You have the entire story so I will leave those comments for everyone to digest. I need to comment now on my match at Climax Control 399.
STATISTICS ARE STATISTICS AND THEY OFTEN MEAN NOTHING IN THE SPORT OF WRESTLING.
Felix: Statistics are just that. . .statistics. They are often used to try to get others to believe things that are not 100 percent accurate or even. One example is the assumption that a small size wrestler cannot adequately compete against taller and heavier wrestlers. Without naming names, because I am not here to promote other Wrestling Federations, one of the smallest male wrestlers of all time has taken on, and defeated, wrestlers who were over a foot taller than them and around double their weight. There is a saying that goes something like this. It isn’t the size of the dog in the dog fight...it is the size of the fight in the dog. With that said I will now present information on myself, Aiden Reynolds, and Justin Smith.
Felix looks into the camera with a look of question on his face to indicate what someone might look like when they are trying to figure something out.
Felix: Aiden Reynolds has been fairly successful in the sport of wrestling so I can honestly say he is not an easy opponent to defeat. That doesn’t mean he cannot be defeated. It simply takes the right moves at the right time and he loses. As for Justin Smith he is taller than Aiden and 30 pounds heavier but since he started in Sin City Wrestling it appears that he has about as much chance of winning a wrestling match as a blind and deaf person can see a person in front of them and hear what they are saying.
Felix pauses his comments for a moment then he continues with his comments.
Felix: Now you are wondering how I fit into the wrestling thing against two wrestlers who are taller and heavier than I am. Aiden is one inch taller than me and Justin is four inches taller than me. Not a difference in height that would equate into an advantage for them against me. With Aiden at 55 pounds more weight than I have, and with Justin with 85 pounds more weight than I have, you might question if their weight advantage would be a negative factor against me. Just as with the smaller wrestlers who were able to defeat much larger and heavier wrestlers so I have been trained to be able to overcome any height and weight differences opponents have over me. It is a very simple matter of taking advantage of their height and weight to keep them off-balance. Once that has been accomplished then causing them to lose by pinfall or submission is an easy thing.
AND THE BOTTOM LINE IS. . .
Felix: I would like to speak directly to my two opponents, Aiden Reynolds and Justin Smith. So, guys, what is the bottom line in our match? The bottom line in our match is that I WIN and YOU TWO LOSE and I ADVANCE TO THE ULTIMATE X ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH AT SUMMER XXXTREME XII and you don’t. What did you two say? You say that I cannot defeat you two? You say that I will go home the loser and one of you two will win the match and be assigned to the Ultimate X Roulette Championship match at Summer XXXTreme XII. I wish I could send my Family Doctor to visit you two do conduct a blood test to see if the two of you are under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs because for damn sure you two are hallucinating if you think you will win our match.
Felix picks up his Stainless-Steel Briefcase and he places it on his lap.
Felix: Aiden. . .Justin. . .If our match comes up as being a full-blown Hardcore match with no rules then that means ANYTHING GOES and EVERYTHING will be legal and that means I win the match. However if the match has restrictions and you violate those restrictions, including hiring interference to attack me during our match, then I assure you. . .I promise you. . .I will go so far down the dark twisted road to attack you and beat you down so hard your own family members will not be able to recognize you. The actions I take depend on your actions and that means you two need to choose wisely.
Felix informs the camera person he will make closing comments then the camera person can cut their camera feed.
Felix: I want you two to do whatever you think it takes for both of you to be at 100 percent capacity when the bell rings to officially start our match. I don’t want you two to slack and come into the match at 50 percent, or less, and then whine that I would not have defeated you had you two been at 100 percent. Your failure to come into our match at 100 percent capacity is your fault. . .not mine. . .so own up to your incompetence and stupidity and take the loss I give to you are a learning item. Thanks for tuning in with me. I’m done with my comments. Bye!
The camera person cuts their camera feed after the last comments by Felix Hernandez and our screen goes dark.
