AM I WRESTLING KELLY BUNDY?
Narrator: I had a conversation with Bea Barnhart before I went live on camera and I about laughed myself unconscious. Want to know what Bea said? She said when she looked at the Climax Control 398 card and saw Erika Moore she couldn’t help but blurt out “WHAT THE HELL? AM I WRESTLING KELLY BUNDY? With that thought on your mind I will sign off now and turn you over to Bea Barnhart for her comments on her upcoming match with Erika Moore.
The scene shifts and the camera person assigned to Bea Barnhart is broadcasting from the hotel room Bea and Bill are staying in for Climax Control 398 which is being held in Pueblo, Colorado, at the Southwest Motors Events Center.
OPENING COMMENTS
Bea: Thank you for joining me today. I’m broadcasting from the hotel room where myself and Bill are staying while I work Climax Control 398. Bill is in the other room relaxing as he said he didn’t want to get on camera as he might distract the viewers from my comments on my upcoming match. However I’ll call Bill out shortly for him to add to my comments on my next wrestling match. Excuse me for a moment while I get a cup of coffee.
Bea walks into the kitchen area and she drops a Keurig K-Cup into the brewer and quickly Bea has her cup of coffee. Bea takes a sip of the coffee then she continues with her comments.
Bea: Ahhhh!!!!! I really enjoy a hearty and dark roast coffee. The taste is great and the dark roast perks you up. Most of us in Sin City Wrestling are enjoying the tour we are doing in Colorado. There are some jerks on the Roster who are upset we are in Colorado but they can go f***k off for all I care! Those of us serving in Sin City Wrestling should be happy we have careers in Wrestling instead of them whining and complaining about everything including where our events are being held.
Bea drinks more of her coffee before looking into the camera again to continue her comments.
Bea: Let me call Bill out her so he can give a few comments concerning my upcoming match against Erika Moore. Bill! Could you please come out and get on camera with me for a short time so you can comment on my upcoming wrestling match?
We hear the bedroom door open and Bill walks into camera view and he takes a seat next to Bea.
Bill: I told you that I would rather remain off-camera so that you can present your comments on your match instead of having me comment on your match.
Bea: You won’t be here with me on camera for very long I promise.
Bill: Okay. So what is up?
Bea: What do you think of my upcoming opponent Erika Moore?
Bill: I see her as a clone of Violet Amelia Holt. I believe you had six matches with Violet, and you won all those matches against her, and one of those matches was a mixed tag team match. If memory serves me correctly I believe you defeated her four times by submission and the other two times by pinfall. Violet talked a lot of smack about you, and to you, and yet she was never able to defeat you. That is what I see between you and Erika Moore.
Bea: I had no idea what you were going to say when you got on camera but what you did say was way more detailed than I expected. Thanks for your comments Bill. I’ll let you return to the bedroom area so that I can finish up my comments on my upcoming match against Erika Moore.
Bill thanks Bea for calling him to join her on camera then he turns and walks back to the bedroom and he closes the door behind him. Bea returns her focus into the camera to continue with her comments concerning her upcoming match against Erika Moore.
WHO AM I WRESTLING AT CLIMAX CONTROL 398. . .KELLY BUNDY???
Bea: I keep getting assigned to low-card matches against lame opponents such as Erika Moore. I should be assigned to Championship matches for the Bombshell Championship, the Bombshell Roulette Championship, and the Bombshell Internet Championship. But. . .NOOO!!! I end up in low-card matches against worthless opponents. Oh well. I am not on the Roster to try to tell Management what to do. Management will give me those Championship matches when they feel it is my time.
Bea lets out a loud *sigh* then she continues with her comments.
Bea: Listen up and pay attention Erika. The moment I saw an image of you the first thought that entered my mind was that you look like Kelly Bundy from the television sitcom Married, . . .With Children. I’m also sure you’re as air-headed as Kelly Bundy. Good looks and a lot of attention from the boys does not equate a person into being a genius. . .it just means they are easy. . .if you understand the meaning of that term.
Bea lets out a chuckle.
Bea: Please allow me to demonstrate what I mean by showing you a short video clip of an interaction between Kelly Bundy and her father Al Bundy and the interaction was about Kelly being called stupid by most of her friends.
Bea sips a bit more of her coffee then she informs the camera person that they can run the video clip now and the video pops up on our screen. We watch and listen.
Kelly Bundy: Daddy. . .am I stupid?
Al Bundy: Gee, Pumpkin, why are you asking that question?
Kelly Bundy: Because most of the kids tell me I’m stupid.
Al Bundy: Well. . .STUPID is a relative term.
Kelly Bundy: Yeah. . .you’re my relative. . .that’s why I’m asking you.
The video ends and we return to a shot of Bea Barnhart in her hotel room.
Bea: I’m sure the concept of the conversation between Kelly Bundy and her father Al Bundy was too detailed for you to understand what took place but I’ll let that go as you, and everyone else, know you are mentally and physically slow so let’s leave that item for now.
Bea finishes her coffee and she excuses herself to go to the coffee maker and make another cup of coffee. When the Keurig K-Cup coffee maker is finished with the brew Bea returns to the couch, then she takes a sip of her coffee, then she glares into the camera to present her closing comments.
CLOSING COMMENTS
Bea: Erika I’m going into our match at 5 feet 5 inches in height and 130 pounds. You, on the other hand, are coming into our match at 5 feet 2 inches and 110 pounds. You’re at a major disadvantage being 3 inches shorter than me and 20 pounds lighter. Oh well it is your loss and my gain.
Bea drinks a bit more of her coffee.
Bea: Since you are shorter and lighter than me I seriously doubt you can inflict much damage on me and for damn sure you will not be able to toss me around the ring as you think you can. A good comparison of you being thrown into this match with me would be throwing a Chihuahua into a dog fighting ring against a Pit Bull. The Chihuahua would be yappy as hell but it will only take less than minute for the Pit Bull to eliminate the Chihuahua. For clarification, Erika, since you are slow in processing data, you are the Chihuahua and I am the Pit Bull in the fight.
Bea finishes off the remainder of her coffee.
Bea: Erika, if you think I’m stupid. . .if you think I’m scared of you. . .if you think you can easily take me out. . .you really are more stupid than Kelly Bundy! Have a great time, and try to have fun, leading up to our match because once we step into the ring and the bell rings there will be no more fun times for you. Just as I made Violet Amelia Holt tap out to my submission holds in 4 out of 6 matches so I will make you tap out to me. See you on Sunday. . .that is if you are not too scared to show up. Ha ha ha!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
As Bea is laughing loudly she waves to the camera person to indicate she is done with her comments for her upcoming match against Erika Moore. The camera person then cuts the feed to their camera and our screen goes dark.
