How It Could Have Been
Scene One | Off-Camera
“Alright then. Show me.” Luna said.
Sean nodded sombrely as he handed the device to Luna. Her eyes fixated on the swirling mist within. Her mind felt heavy almost instantly. Transfixed to the spot. She heard Sean say something to her. Instructions. The words to say. It was hard to really tell. Something about it all made her stomach feel sick. A part of her mind screams at her to throw the device back at Sean and leave.
Sean had been only sweet to her. She could trust him, right? He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, or Alex. This was to protect him. She could feel his hand on her shoulder. His eyes too were locked upon the device. At least if this was going to ruin her mind, he was comforting her. There were small solaces in the smallest of actions. Her stomach twisted, but she repeated the words spoken to her.
“Mater et infans.”She blinked and she was no longer sitting in that bar in Turkey. No, she was in a familiar place. The home she spent years growing up in. Alex’s family home. That hand-built slightly more than a shack building. There was something different about it though. It felt fresh, renewed. The stagnant air of grief and regret didn’t seem to be there anymore. The walls were freshly painted, the carpet new and clean. Out of the corner of her eye she spied the kitchen. It looked like it had been cleaned and cared for. Idyllic.
It was the home they had once spoken of, all those years ago. What Alex wanted for them. Things had changed since then. Cheating, marriages, dead friends and James. Alex’s parents had long since passed away at this point. Yet here she was, standing in this room. Standing in this place that was only ever a dream. Only ever spoken in warm moments of teenage innocence. She heard it then. The soft gurgling of a small child. Alex stepped out from the kitchen, a tiny little creature wrapped up in his arms.
He looked so much happier. His face wasn’t drawn heavy with fears and stress. Instead his eyes are full of life, full of happiness. His hair was long and grown out, the messy mane she adored. His beard shaved down tightly, but framing his face. As much as her brain was screaming at her that this was all wrong, she could barely move. Barely breathe.
In his arms, a tiny little baby. Ringlets of hair cascading down around its face. He smiled, lifting the sleepy little infant, pointing her face towards Luna. The tiny little balled up hands, the sleepy rubbing of the eyes. The goofy toothless smile as it recognised Luna. Recognised its… mother.
“Is that mama? Mama and her friend Sean are here. Violet, can you say hello?” Alex spoke softly. Even though the words were simple, he didn’t baby them up either. Even in an alternate time, space and world. Alex still talked to everyone the same, be they six months or sixty years old. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes. She could feel Sean’s hand slip from her shoulder. Letting her live in that moment. Letting her step towards Alex and the baby. To the daughter she wished with every part of her soul could be real.
Alex stepped into her, and they awkwardly shuffled Violet out his arms into hers. She so desperately wished right now that her mind wasn’t swimming. That she’d had a couple less drinks, and that she wasn’t on the borderline of being slightly too tipsy. She held the baby all the same, her eyes full of tears. She turned toward Sean, holding the small child.
“Violet, we always said if we had a girl. We’d call her Violet…” Luna managed to squeak out. She knew this couldn’t be real. Her mind was telling her that this was all an illusion. Some magic fuckery from that cultish creature Vita Mors. A distortion of the truth, playing on her deepest desires. Yet as much as she tried to validate it to herself. To try and tear down the scenario in her mind. To tell herself this couldn’t be. Not now, not ever. There was a part of her that wondered if this was something that could occur. What payment could one make to change their reality to that of what they want.
Would she even want to truly do that? This may have been her dream, but she married Alex as he is now. They’d long since deluded themselves into believing they didn’t want children. His vasectomy was a convenient cover. A cover for the truth that Alex had found out long ago with Lauren, that he was sterile. Nobody was more hurt at the idea than Alex. Anybody who asked, he was so certain that he didn’t want kids. That might even be the case now. Adoption didn’t resonate with him, and she was never certain why.
Seeing him in this moment, it made it somewhat clearer in her mind. It wasn’t that he was so against it. It was that he was so destroyed by the idea that he never would be able to have a kid of his own. Seeing his face, the life in him. The happiness in the man she loved. Or at least, a representation of that. She could instantly understand. What she would give to change everything. To fix the wrongs of their own world and universe. To make them a fucking family.
“I don’t want to leave.” Luna mumbled to herself, sitting in a nearby chair. Holding the baby, staring into her tiny gorgeous little face. Her own eyes looking back at her. She had Alex’s features, his nose, his jaw and even his hair. The eyes however? They were like staring into a mirror. Staring into her very own eyes. Her heart panged, and the waterworks fell. Alex had strolled off back to the kitchen. Maybe he was cooking? She didn’t know. She didn’t really care. She didn’t ever want to leave this moment.
She looked at Sean, and did her best to suppress the tears. To stop crying in front of this person she barely knew. This person who was making her see her biggest dreams. Making her live her biggest, most perfect and wonderful dream. The person she thought was her friend, who was showing her something she’d never have. It was then the anger began to bubble. To boil-over. Why did Sean do this to her? Why would he make her see something this impossible?
There was resentment in her eyes.
Her mind was struggling. Struggling to understand everything. It knew this wasn’t real, but the longer she stayed in the moment. The longer she spent sitting there, the quieter that part of her brain became. The harder it became to differentiate. A knock at the door. A shattering of the silence. Another moment in time, another thing to understand.
“I’ve got one of my arms elbow deep in a chicken’s ass in here, the doors open! Come in!” Alex yelled out from the kitchen. The front door opened a few seconds later, not far from them. Her back was to the door, but she broke her eyes away from Sean just for a moment. To see who it was. Her heart broke at that moment.
Leather jacket, skinny jeans, an incredibly out of style black deep cut v-neck, long unwieldy mane of dark brown hair, and the same eyes. The Pasilno eyes. The soul-piercing, water freezing and thousand yard stare of the Pasilno family. She’d buried her brother. She’d seen him slowly fade away into death. Yet here, here in this perfect place. In this world where she had a baby. Baby Violet, with a warm, alive and happy Alex. In this already perfect world, her brother. Her brother had never fucking died.
She was rooted to the spot, but that didn’t matter. The person wearing her brother’s face beamed a flashy smile at her. His eyes met with Sean’s for a moment. An extended smile, as he strolled over. Long gangly steps from the 6’8” man. He placed a kiss to the top of Luna’s head, gave a gentle caress of the cheek to the baby, and nodded at Sean. In this world, everything was perfect. In this world… she was happy, and life hadn’t fucked them over. Life hadn’t stolen their family from them. Life hadn’t dangled baby Violet in their face, and it hadn’t ripped her best friend away.
She looked at Sean once more, and shook her head slowly. The tears were still hanging in her eyes. She was broken. Despite all the happiness and peace, in that moment. She was broken.
“I want to go home now.” Luna mumbled. She looked down at the baby in her arms. Felt her brother’s hand on her shoulder. The gentle squeeze. His strong hands. His comforting hands. She looked at Sean and waited. Waited for them to go home.
“Veni domum.” Sean said.
It felt like only a second. Her head snapped back, tears hanging heavily on her face, her eyes wet. She looked away from the weird little device Sean had and sucked in a deep breath. She could still feel her brother’s hand on her shoulder. Feel the warmness of the kiss on the top of her head. The heaviness of the baby in her arms. Yet, she was sitting at some random bar in Turkey, with a half eaten chicken burger and an array of empty beer bottles and a hardly touched mimosa.
“Why the fuck would you do that to me?” Luna said shakily, her mind struggling to adjust to reality. Her mind was shaken. Her breathing heavy and her body hollow. What she had thought was going to be simple trickery, had done everything it could to taunt her. Taunt her with a world she would never fucking have.
Kallie-fornia Dreamin’
Scene Two | On-Camera
“Might as well call me a psychic at this point. Day one, I said that this was going to be my year. Though it may have started off just a touch rocky, things are all coming up Luna. Ignoring the waste of space and enhancement filler that is Justin Smith, I am the hardest working bitch in all of Sin City. The first bombshell to reach double digits in matches for the year. After this week? I’ll be one step closer to Kayla Richards and that World Bombshell Title, and then. Nobody will be able to question Luna fucking Pasilno.”
“See, I’ve proven, week in and week out. That I am the bitch to watch. That I am the woman who is taking the reigns in Sin City Wrestling and showing everyone what it means to be a true fucking talent. First round it was Kat Jones, and we put her in her fucking place. Out to pasture like any other nobody hack who thinks they can stop me. This was right after ending little miss Marlowe’s goddamn career. Sending her to the glue factory and getting one last iota of use out of her nobody ass. Then, last week. The bad child Roux was put in front of me. The adopted nobody sibling of Courtney Pierce. The woman who was going to tell her story, except… oops. When it came to actually standing on her own two feet?”
“The bright lights were all she could see.”
“But it’s alright, you know? I get it. It’s hard to step up to people who have more experience. She wasn’t confident, she didn’t think this was going to take her places. This was just to shun the naysayers. To quiet those who wiggle and worm their way to the top to keep pretty little kiddies like her and me down here in the mucky muck. The most unfortunate thing for little Roux, was that she had to carry big old Billy boy. Except… Billy boy wasn’t the loser. That’s got to do wonders for her confidence. The late blooming lady, and her rising star partner put the boots to the ungrateful little bitch and the nostalgic bulldog. Which brings us here.”
“To sweet little Artie, and the woman with the ability to actually carry a nobody to the apex, Kallie Reznik. Unfortunately for Artie and Kallie, there weren't any good or safe options for them this week. If it wasn’t Sean and I, it was going to be Calaway and my sweet dear husband, Alexander Raven. Hell, I might not like them, but… Cross and Eiley? They’d have eaten you and Artie alive little miss Reznik. And as much as Artie wants to prove he can stand on his own two feet. As much as Artie wants to take the power of what this opportunity can give him. To be the next J2H of Sin City Wrestling, oh sweet baby angels. The dream ends here.”“It’s time to wake the fuck up.”
“This journey of hope and discovery? Of being good enough in the eyes of your betters? It ends here. It ends with me. It ends with Sean. And I’ve got so many more things to say to you, dear Artie. But first. We need to pay attention to Kallie, don’t we? The other half of the Australian sweetheart, Aiden Reynolds. I actually think I quite like you, Kallie. You seem to be someone who gets tarred with the brush of association. Just like me. People hating on the woman who just wants to prove she can tango with the salsa dancers. Connected in nothing but association of the associated with our world champions, Finn Whelan and Kayla Richards.”
“I feel for you, darling. I feel for you because I know what it feels like. I know how it feels to be considered less than simply because of who you throw your lot in with. Simply because of a short-coming here or there. Oh, lover, I do so understand. I’m Loopy Luna, Alexander Raven’s hanger-on. The transition queen. The bipolar Harley Quinn of Sin City Wrestling. Mind you we’ve got literal fucking nutbags like Juliana DiMaria walking around having weekly mental breaks, but, I’m the crazy one? I’m the crazy one for wanting to stand on my own. To be the one with the eyes on her. To be seen for what I am, and not brought down because of who I am with.”
“So, I see you, Miss Reznik. Oh darling, I know exactly what it is like to be you. Championships? Ignored for the sake of an argument. Victories? Forgotten in the face of a seemingly embarrassing defeat. Acknowledgement? Never, because that would invalidate their vanity, and girl. I am quite fucking familiar with vanity. The sweet vainglorious, masochistic and delusional Luna Pasilno. She’s just fucking full of herself, right? But there’s a world of difference in what you’re stepping into now, compared to what you’ve done.”
“Konrad Raab and Bea Barnhart? That was a shoe-in. Could’ve thrown Artie and a random member of the audience, and they’d have walked their asses from corner to post. Justin and Cordy? The only thing threatening about that was the shrill voice of Cordelia, and the loss of brain cells that come with Justin every time he opens his fucking mouth. Easy street is what you’ve had so far, Kallie. Some easy wins to boost your confidence back up. Now? Now you’ve got some real teeth to contend with. Now you’ve got a real bitch in the fight. Someone who can match you for speed, for athleticism. Someone who doesn’t mind getting a little rough and tumble and messing up a cute little lady’s fucking face.”
“So maybe you go and talk to Finn. Maybe you even go and talk to whoever is trying to get Artie in ship shape for this match. Maybe you get Aiden to show him how to get beaten up and beaten down. Learn a few things, and maybe. Just maybe, you’ll be able to help each other walk out of the ring. Sean may not be the same killer, but he’s a fighter regardless. The fairy tale ends with us. The real future winners of this whole damn shebang. And then you can look at what Kayla and I go on to do. You can look at what we do in order to make sure that the Bombshell Women’s Championship means something.”
“Presumptuous that it’ll be Kayla, I know. I think both of us are of the same opinion though, aren’t we, Kallie? Juliana had her time, and she got shown the fucking door. Fizzle and sizzle, and she’ll fall apart. Lord forbid she actually wrestle from time to time. Outworking and outpacing everyone, not dropping a single mixed tag match this year, being the one to win them over and over. And Juliana thinks she can talk her way through things. Not on our watch, right Kallie?”
“I guess it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what your stance on it is at all, because at the end of the day. When it comes down to you or me. When it comes down to Sean or Artie. The answer is the same every single time. Here are your winners and advancing to the finals of the Blast from the Past tournament, Luna Pasilno and Sean Parker. The only opinion in the end that counts? Mine.”
“Which is why I need to address our sweet little amateur. Our boy with big dreams, and a heart of gold. The wimpy little stick of a husband to the perpetual gag relief that is Bobbie Dahl. It’s sweet little Artie. The boy who thinks he can. The boy who is going to learn that he most definitely can fucking not. The boy who is going to step to the plate, get knocked for fucking six and hopefully? Never gets back in the ring. Learns his place, learns his ability. Learn from this unfortunate mistake and fluke? It was always going to end poorly. I might like Kallie, but you Artie?”
“I don’t fucking like you.”
“I don’t like you because you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve to be here. You don’t deserve to pretend like you belong. You didn’t earn anything. You didn’t work, you haven’t done a single fucking thing except sit there and support someone better than you. Hypocrisy I know, but at least in this case its fucking true. If Bobbie couldn’t get there with fucking Peter Vaughn, what chance do you have? Take your whipping, your bumps and your bruises. Take it all, and fucking walk away. Don’t ever disrespect me, Sean or any other person who works themselves to the bone for this business.”
“I end another story this week. Oh, and remember this.”“The Conspiracy is here.”
I Hate You
Scene Three | Off-Camera
“Luna… I’m sorry.” Sean had said as she gathered her things. She didn’t want to be there anymore, and she had stormed off.
They had gone on to win that week. Nobody the wiser. Tandem finishers again, another win chalked up to her. An undefeated tear for The Conspiracy. Both herself and Alex hadn’t lost a tag team match all year. But she didn’t want to be there. Not that night. She didn’t want to have to tag with someone who she thought could so callously try and upend her life. The worst part? She thought she was finally making a new friend. Someone who didn’t hate her for simply existing. For simply being who she was.
She’d taken the trek out to see Alex after that. They’d been inseparable since. Post match they had just left. Found out where they were bound for next, and just up and left. She couldn’t push the images from her mind. The happier husband, the living brother and beautiful child. These were all just constant images now. The worst part of it? She knew it wasn’t real. That it couldn’t be. That this was a manipulation to get to Alex. Sean had at least been honest enough to be straight out with the truth.
“Do you think, one day, things will be normal again?” Alex asked. His voice pulled her out of her fugue. Pulling her out of the haze in her head. They’d made a trip home. Stopped off at Adrienne’s to pick up their dog. Half a bottle of whiskey deep each, and a half full of ash tray. It seemed tonight they were both living in their heads. Alex had kept things rather close to his chest lately. She wasn’t entirely sure why, until that day with Sean.
She could understand it now.
“Define normal.” Luna said back with a snort, as she poured herself another shot, and one for Alex. He’d been nursing a mixer for a little while by the looks of it. The ice had all but completely melted. Seems they were both messes this week.
“Say, circa 2015?” Alex said, nodding to himself a little. He knocked back the last little bit of his drink, pouring the shot into the now empty glass. Another coke and whiskey mixer, no ice this time. Probably for the best.
“The year you got your head bashed in so much in a match they thought they were going to have to remove a chunk of your skull?” Luna asked quizzically in response.
“Simpler times, really. That Syco girl was an interesting one. Weird priorities, but I could get behind it. Her girlfriend though? Batshit.” Alex said, placing another coke and whiskey in front of Luna this time. At the very least, they were going to sleep well tonight, tomorrow morning and then be insufferably grumpy for the next couple days.
“I don’t think your definition of normal is what most people would say is normal.” Luna said softly, knocking back the shot she had poured for herself. A fresh cigarette was placed to her lips. The flash of a lighter and a quick lighting. A long, sharp and harsh drag. Blowing it out her nose in a waterfall of smoke.
“Maybe not, but life was a little bit simpler. World champion, seen as a leader, fall, become the True and the False. If anything, there was some real growth. I’d say less magic men, but realistically? We had those wannabe Vampires running about, Corey Bull and Salazar were a bit off-kilter at the best of times. It was a strange time.” Alex rambled on. He was avoiding being in his own mind. Some kind of internal conflict. She could see the worry in his face. The stress in his eyes. The strain in his voice.
“I don’t think I’d go that far back. Maybe just last year. No Sullivan in prison, you and Harrison still butting heads and not somehow weirdly getting along like you do now. Jimmy freshly opening this place. Maybe we’ll keep Adrienne, because she’s good value. I think that’s what I’d define as normal.” Luna said, lowering her head to rest on the bar top.
“You mean you don’t want to be hiding away in Australia helping us run Raven’s? You’d get to meet little Adrienne all over again. I think that could be fun. Though, if I had it my way? I wouldn’t have sold the original bar. I would’ve stuck it out. Normal.” Alex said, and then his phone buzzed. He didn’t instantly recognise the number, but Luna did. She glowered. Why was phone number permanency a thing for her?
“Don’t answer that. It’s Sean.” Luna said, taking a long sip of her drink, and then another long and harsh drag of her cigarette. Alex cocked an eyebrow in response, and let it go to voicemail. They sat there for a moment, before it stopped ringing. The voicemail message coming through. She rolled her eyes as he unlocked it and pressed play.
“Hey, Raven…um it’s Sean, Sean Parker. Look, I know we haven’t talked a lot. Hell, I think the last time we were in the same room, you were trying to cleave my head in two in Cambodia… anyway… look, I really need to talk to you, it’s about Vita Mors… call me back, please.” The message played out. Alex and Luna simply looked at each other.
“You know, it’s funny. I remember going to see him. I remember being in his office. I remember how much he looked like James. But I don’t remember much else. Next thing I knew, I was just standing there. Standing in that ring. Taking Jamie Dean apart. Then we were in Vimy Ridge.” Alex said, lighting his own cigarette. He looked off into the empty bar, his mind working things over. She knew it wasn’t the full story, but he also wasn’t lying. That might be why he was in such a state. His mind was hiding things from him.
“Sean showed me this thing. I don’t know what it was. But it felt so real, you know? I saw us in that house. Like we used to talk about. Jimmy was still alive. Fuck, I can still feel his hand on my shoulder, you know? I could smell my brother again, for just a moment. But now it’s all I can think of. And…” Luna began to trail off.
“And there was a baby.” Alex said, like something clicked in his head. Puzzle pieces falling into place.
“How did you know that?” Luna asked. Alex looked at her, and shook his head a little.
“I put on his mask. I saw everything.”And then…
