Under the Bridge
Wisdom of the Troll
The camera switches on and the first thing seen is a closeup shot of the Troll's face.The Troll: Is it on? Is it working?
Cameraman: Of course it's on! It's my camera, I think I would know how to work it.
The Troll: Alright, alright! No need to get your panties in a twist, Champ! I was just asking!
The camera backs up and the Troll stands in a public retail setting, a department store to be more precise, filled with people.The Troll: Hey yo, everybody! It's your boy - the Troll Champion himself - the Troll! And as you can see from around me, I'm not in my usual digs at home but here at Macy's because my Mom wanted to come here and take advantage of some of these holiday sales. And unlike what
some people might try to say...
He fake coughs.The Troll: *KrystalWolfebitch* I actually love my Mother and take
very good care of her. What my Mom wants... you get the picture! Anyway, while I was here I decided I could use this setting to my advantage and thanks to my boy Champ...
The camera turns around to show a closeup of a tall, lanky looking man who gives the people watching a goofy if somewhat creepy grin before turning back to the so-called star of this broadcast.The Troll: You know Krystal - the chick who likes to go above and beyond to play the role of victim and when people aren't buying it or she calls them out, she lashes out and resort to high school tactics like insulting my Mom. A sweet woman who has done
NOTHING to her. She whines and cries, belly aching all over social media how she's trying to redeem herself but every chance she gets, she acts like the same old, miserable biotch who first turned her back on everyone last year. The same chick whose actions and attitude got her kicked out of the Saviors in record time. The biotch who is so entitled she went into her match against Bella Madison expecting to just be handed the win and when Bella lost, what did Krystal do?
The Troll leans in and cups a hand over his ear, beckoning for an answer.The Troll: That's right, she starts in with the excuses and the insults. Calling Bella's win over her a fluke and saying how she's going to choke when Krystal herself is the
ORIGINAL choke artist! Hypocrisy, thy name is Krystal! And when Bella lost to Julianna DiMaria at December 2 Dismember V, oh Krystal was all over that and saying how right she was but she neglected to mention she didn't walk away with a win herself, now did she?
The camera motions from side to side in the negative.The Troll: But see, that's enough talk about someone like Krystal because the world knows her time is finished. She's washed up, a has-been that never was. Time to talk about something that matters and that is your boy - the Troll - being back in action this Sunday against the so-called 'Unbreakable'...
**air quotes**The Troll: Eddie Lyons. You know, another choke artist but at least when Krystal chokes, she doesn't talk about hanging up the boots like this guy does! She should ... but she doesn't. No, this guy is a total whiner. A man baby that doesn't even deserve to set foot inside of the ring against a five-star athlete such as myself. And this Sunday in Gods Toilet known as Denver - I'm going to prove to the world that Eddie Lyons is as breakable as Loess. ... Look it up! You know how many things that are called 'Unbreakable' but actually aren't? People think diamonds are indestructible but with a strong enough heat source, not so much! And...
The Troll passes by and glance at a dinnerware set and a nearby sign that says 'Unbreakable China'. He picks up a random plate from the display.The Troll: This! This right here! Now this is quality make and might stand up to a good whack but like Eddie Lyons, he'll be as fragile as...
He gives the plate a sharp whack on the edge of the display table and as expected, the plate shatters. Heads turn at the sound. The Troll looks around and slowly tucks his hands into his jacket pockets, sliding the broken pieces under the table with his boot and promptly makes a hasty get away into the shopping masses in search of his Mom... and store personnel and security come rushing in after him!
Off camera...Champ: Dude...? Wank...? I'm still getting paid for this, right???
...
Right!?
