[Andrew]

I’M GONNA JULIENNE JULIANNA

Narrator:  Thank you for joining me today for my opening comments leading up to the match of Bea Barnhart versus Julianna DiMaria at Climax Control 371. I had a discussion with Bea before I came on camera and I have to tell you I haven’t seen a more determined, aggressive, and positive, Bea Barnhart. She assured me she doesn’t just want a win over Julianna but that she wants to hurt and humiliate her. With that said I turn you over to Bea Barnhart, who is at the Barnhart home in Lawrenceville, Georgia, so she can give you her take on her upcoming match.

BEA BARNHART IS GOING TO JULIENNE JULIANNA AT CLIMAX CONTROL 371

The scene shifts to the home of Bill and Bea Barnhart in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The camera person pans around the living room area then they move over to the combination Kitchen and Dining area where we see Bea Barnhart at the counter preparing food items.

Bea:  I want to let everyone know that I am traveling to Los Angeles, California, for Climax Control 371, by myself later this evening. Since Bill does not have a match at this event he asked me if it would be okay for him to remain at home to spend time with Iris until the next event where he is scheduled to wrestle. I told him since Iris is a Daddy’s Girl, and she is so attached to Daddy Bill, that it is fine with me. I’ll be leaving this evening and since the flight from Atlanta to Los Angeles is only a few hours it is an easy trip. Also when I get to Los Angeles I promised our neighbor, Andrew, that I would entertain his son and daughter in-law, Ador and Anna, as they will come up and watch me destroy Julianna DiMaria. I arranged two front-row seats for them to enjoy watching me soundly defeat Julianna.

After her comments Bea returns to preparing food items. We notice that Bea is cutting various vegetables into thin long strips.

Bea:  You are probably wondering what I’m preparing for me to cook later today. As you might have noticed, unless you’re an idiot, I’m cutting vegetables into thin strips. Since most of you are so dumb, that you can barely walk and chew gum at the same time, I will enlighten you. When you are preparing food items and you cut them into thin long strips the term for that is Julienne. However I can’t expect idiots. . .who think the term COOKING refers to them driving to McDonalds, Burger King, or Wendy’s, to purchase burgers and fries. . .to understand the enjoyment a person gets by preparing their own food. So how does my cutting vegetables into thin long strips. . .the term is Julienne. . .apply to my match with Julianna DiMaria this Sunday at Climax Control 371? Just as I am processing these vegetables into thin strips using the method called Julienne I will figuratively destroy Julianna DiMaria in our match by cutting her down into thin strips. Flatly stated I AM GOING TO JULIENNE JULIANA DIMARIA in our match and she will learn to admire and worship me as her master!

Bea bursts out into laughter and after a short time she recovers from her laughter and continues preparing food items in the Kitchen.

DOES WHERE WE COME FROM MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

Bea:  Julianna I see that you are from San Diego and we are wrestling in Los Angeles. Since I am from Atlanta, Georgia, I have to make the assumption that leading up to our match you will try to incite the fans in the Los Angeles area to turn on me and disrespect me. You probably assume that I’m a dumb Asian girl from the Philippines but I never did believe that you possessed cognitive reasoning abilities. Both myself and Bill possess Genius IQ’s of 120 and higher which puts us in the top five percent of intelligence in the world. I figure your IQ is probably so low that you are on the equivalent of dog shit but not everyone can possess Genius IQ’s like me and Bill. So you go ahead and try to stir up the fans against me if you want. However since the fans have been watching wrestling then they are already fans of me and they detest you. I will have our neighbor’s son and daughter in-law in attendance at our match in Los Angeles. They are wrestling fans but this is the first time they get to watch me wrestle in person. I’m not going to disappoint them by taking a loss to you. Trust me when I tell you that after I soundly defeat you, as I have done four times in a row to Violent Amelia Holt, that when you return to San Diego the fans there will demand that you move out of their City as you have brought shame to San Diego. With that said I’ll leave it to the fans to decide who they prefer to support.

HISTORY AND STATISTICS OF BEA AND JULIANNA

Bea takes a break from preparing food items as she continues with her comments for the education of Julianna DiMaria.

Bea:  Julianna this is the first time we face off against each other in a wrestling match. Unfortunately, for you anyway, this will be a career ending blow to you when I easily, and soundly, defeat you. You come into our match over-confident because you managed to get a cheap, and unwarranted, win against Roxi Johnson. You can brag all you want but your bragging does not equate into you obtaining a victory over me this Sunday.

Bea chuckles at her comments.

Bea:  Do you honestly think you have an advantage over me in height, weight, or wrestling abilities? You do? Damn! Then for damn sure you’re way more ignorant than I thought you were! I’m 5 feet 5 inches in height and 130 pounds. You’re 5 feet 5 inches in height and 125 pounds. If you think because you are the same height as I am and 5 pounds lighter than me that it gives you an advantage over me then your brain isn’t capable of logical thinking. You have no advantage over me and it doesn’t matter to me, or anyone else, who you have faced, and possibly defeated, in the past. I guess you’ll believe me when my hand is raised in victory over you.

BILL TAKES IRIS FOR A WALK IN THE PARK

Bea pauses her comments, and preparation of food items, when Bill, along with Iris their English Bulldog, walk into the kitchen.

Bill:  Sorry to interrupt your comments for your upcoming match but I wanted to let you know I’m taking Iris to Sweetwater Park for a walk in a few minutes. I wanted to publicly thank you for allowing me to stay home during Climax Control 371 to spend a little more time with Iris since I am not in a match at this Climax Control 371. You’ll be fine on your own and you’ll have Andrew’s son and daughter in-law from San Diego at the event in Los Angeles to watch you wrestle. They will enjoy you destroying Julianna DiMaria.

Bea:  You got that right!

Iris:  *Whine* *Growl* *Snort* (interpretation of what Iris said = I wish I could go with you Mommy! I’m upset that I have to stay home while you travel. But I’m happy I get all of Daddy’s attention while you are in Los Angeles)

Bea:  That’s so sweet Iris! Thank you! Let’s make a deal okay? Since Daddy Bill is staying home with you while I travel to Los Angeles to wrestle we will ensure that when it is Daddy Bill who is traveling to wrestle, but I’m not on that Card to wrestle, I will be the one to remain at home with you so you and I can do some bonding. Is that okay Iris?

Iris leaps into the air. . .well a very short inch or two off the floor due to her weight. . .then Iris spins around…then she runs around the living room with a smile on her face.

Bill:  For sure Iris will be looking forward to the time I am out wrestling and you get to remain home with her. Sorry that me and Iris came in and interrupted your comments towards Julianna DiMaria for your match on Sunday.

Bea:  I don’t mind the interruption. You and Iris have a safe trip in Sweetwater Park.

Bea kneels down and gives Iris a kiss on the nose and the reaction from Iris shows she is happy Mommy Bea kissed her. Bill and Iris go out the front door and get into Bill’s car to drive to Sweetwater Park so Iris can potty. Once they are gone Bea continues preparing food items and she comments into the camera.

Bea:  Please allow me for a few minutes and I’ll be done with my food preparation. When I’m done I’ll put the food items into containers and cook them later after I’m done with airing comments for my upcoming match.

Bea quickly finishes preparing the food items and she packs the items into containers and puts the containers into the refrigerator. Since she already has the sink full of soapy warm water she places the food preparation items into the sink to soak for a time so they will be easier to clean later.

JULIANNA YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT!

Bea:  Oh, Julianna, the way you talk and hurl foul crap all time reminds me of a story that relates perfectly to People like you who talk without thinking about what they are talking about so they come across as ignorant. It will prove to the world that you don’t know shit. Let me move into the Living room so I can be more comfortable sitting on the couch than standing in the Kitchen.

Bea washes her hands then dries them. She then walks into the Living Room and takes a seat on the couch.

Bea:  Here is a true story of an incident I observed while on a flight to visit friends recently. An adult male was seated next to a girl who was around 10 years of age. I found out after this incident that the man was not related to this girl and it just happened that they got seats next to each other. The man, being bored, decided to turn to the girl and he said “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers.” The girl, who was reading a book, closed the book slowly and said to the man, “What would you like to talk about?” The man replied “Oh, I don’t know. How about nuclear power?” The young girl replied “OK!” and then she said “Discussing nuclear power would be an interesting topic but I would like to ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff. . .grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The guy thought about it and said, “Hmmm, I have no idea!” To which the young girl replied, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?”

Bea bursts out in loud laughter to the point that it takes her some time before she can stop laughing. After regaining her composure Bea returns to looking at the camera to continue her comments.

Bea:  Oh, Julianna, I’m sorry. . .ha ha ha. . .that I burst into laughter. . .ha ha ha. . .but I honestly couldn’t help myself. . .ha ha ha. . .as that young girl owned that jerk ass adult male. . .ha ha ha. . .just as I am going to own your sorry jerk ass in our match!

Bea works hard to control her laughter and when she does she continues with her comments.

Bea:  Julianna you amuse me beyond the point of me laughing hard and having to take time to regain my composure after the hard laughing. You are like so many of the other failures in the sport of wrestling as you rely on all the past things you’ve accomplished. I don’t give a damn about the claims you made about you being in other Wrestling Federations as those are past items and we are in the present. It doesn’t matter if you won a few matches in those other Wrestling Federations as those wins are not able to change your statistics here in Sin City Wrestling. Also since you seem to have jumped from Wrestling Federation to Wrestling Federation to Wrestling Federation, several times over a short period of time, that tells me you either couldn’t deal with the competition there or they got tired of you and released you from their Federations. To me that proves you don’t have loyalty to the Wrestling Federation you were working with but I’m not able to know if that is what happened or not. Only you know that information and you refuse to reveal the truth.

EVEN A BLIND SQUIRREL FINDS AN ACORN OCCASIONALLY

Bea stands up and walks into the kitchen to pull a can of Coke from the refrigerator. She pops the top of the Coke can as she is walking back to the Living Room to continue commenting on her upcoming match against Julianna DiMaria. Bea arrives at the couch and sits down to continue her comments.

Bea:  So, Julianna, you got a surprise win over Roxi Johnson and now you feel you are the main thing in the sport of wrestling? I got news for you Julianna. You just got lucky and that sometimes happens with below-average wrestlers like you. I mean, come on, even The Troll, after dozens of matches, managed to get one win so far in Sin City Wrestling, then he runs around bragging about that one win. As for your win over Roxi Johnson, maybe there was a glitch in the time matrix the day of that match. That doesn’t mean you performed exceptionally well. It doesn’t mean you did the impossible. I feel you just got extremely lucky and got a cheap win. There’s a saying that describes you perfectly in that situation. And that saying is that even a blind Squirrel finds an acorn occasionally but most of the time that blind Squirrel goes hungry as they cannot function as well as other Squirrels with great eyesight do. I assure you that you might be able to function half as well as I do in our match. And when I defeat you it will deflate your ego and it will be so humiliating for you that you are likely to retire from the sport of Wrestling.

FAMILY CONNECTIONS DO NOT ALWAYS MAKE FOR A GOOD THING

Bea:  Julianna have you ever heard the saying that family connections do not always make a good thing? The way you come across it appears to me that you believe you are automatically a great wrestler because you were born into a wrestling family and you feel that your genetic make up means that you will perform exceptionally well in the sport. However, Julianna, while there have been children of wrestlers who performed exceptionally well that isn’t always the case. Although I could give a long list of children of wrestlers who failed to perform around the average level most have failed to live up to the family legacy.

Bea stares into the camera for a moment then she continues with her comments.

Bea:  Julianna I do not believe you will find many people who would make the claim that a certain masked wrestler is pathetic and incompetent. I will not mention their name but he is, in fact, an amazing wrestler who has had more success than most wrestlers I’ve had to pleasure to watch. But there is a reason I am commenting on this. It is because this wrestler brought their son into the sport of Wrestling and his son has been what I classify as a failure in the sport. This proves that just because you were born into a wrestling family it doesn’t mean you inherited the fantastic wrestling genes. Simply put, Julianna, you suck and I will gladly prove to the fans that you can suck more than you already do when I easily defeat you.

CLOSING COMMENTS

Bea:  With my previous comments concerning you I will now present my closing comments. Oh, Julianna, I can imagine you jumping up and screaming for joy as you are tired of me verbally destroying and humiliating you with my truthful comments about you. Is that what is happening to you right now Julianna? You’re self-destructing. . .you’re melting into obscurity like the Wicked Witch of the West did in the movie The Wizard of Oz when they doused her with a bucket of water? Are you evaporating like a spilled drink on a hot sidewalk? I don’t care if my comments hurt or insult you as I’m telling the truth and the truth reigns superior to everything else. If you can’t take the heat then get the hell out of the kitchen!

Bea flashes an evil grin.

Bea:  Oh, Julianna, you have hurled a lot of foul words, stupid insults, and demeaning comments, my way. But since I have been able to deflect behavior like that from others previously then for me to deflect your dumb ass comments you are hurling in my direction is effortless. I have two common Tagalog phrases that apply to people like you who are abusive, insulting, and hurl nonsense comments, in a pathetic effort to intimidate others.

Bea again flashes an evil grin.

Bea:  When others try to hurl insults my way I respond by throwing two Tagalog phrases back at them. The first is TANGA! GAGO! BOBO! which translates into English as YOU ARE STUPID! SILLY! AND IGNORANT!

Bea laughs loudly.

Bea  The other saying I throw back at people who say dumb ass shit to me is PUTANG INA MO! which translates into English as YOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE AND THAT MAKES YOU THE CHILD OF A WHORE!

The camera person gives an extreme close-up shot of Bea as she begins an loud evil laugh again.

Bea:  What’s that Julianna? You don’t like what I said? So what? I don’t like you and what you said to me! When it comes down to showtime you’ll find out I’m a hundred times more than you think I am. You’ll find out how brutal I can be in a wrestling match. You’ll find out how effective my submission holds are. I’m walking into our match as one of two competitors. . .but I’m walking out of our match as the only winner…and if you can’t deal with that then I suggest you don’t step into the ring for our match. . .just walk away and fail to show for our match so that it will prevent the overwhelming humiliation I will give you when I beat you done and I walk away as the winner of our match!

Bea lets out a huge roaring laugh. After a time she is able to contain herself and continue with her comments.

Bea:  Julianna after I beat beat you down and cut you down to size you will need a telescope to see up to the eye level of a Dwarf! After I put the hurt on you, beat you down, and bruise you, and you have pain from my beat down for weeks, I could see you singing the song DOOM…DESPAIR…AND AGONY ON ME from the television program HEE HAW! For your benefit I will have the Network put the lyrics on the screen so you know what you will be singing after I destroy you.

The Network puts the graphics to the Hee Haw song GLOOM, DESPAIR, AND AGONY ON ME on the screen.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me-e!
Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all!
Gloom, despair, and agony on me-e-e!

The Network leaves the words to GLOOM, DESPAIR, AND AGONY ON ME on the screen long enough that all the viewers have time to read the lyrics and then they take the lyrics off and they return to a shot of Bea Barnhart.

Bea:  There you have it Julianna. That’s the song you will sing for months after I destroy and humiliate you in our match. Have a nice day!

Bea informs the camera person that she is done with her comments. The camera person calls into the Network and they tell him to put his camera into a fade-to-black setting and they do so. After about 15 seconds the scene goes fully dark.