[Christian Underwood]

Please post all roleplays here! Have fun and good luck!

[Calvin Harris]

The first chance that Calvin had gotten to fly home after the trip to Brazil he took it. It was going to be a few weeks until Violent Conduct. A little bit of down time, but getting back home as quick as possible there was a reason for it. Course he missed his wife and his children. Life at home was great, but life at home was just as busy as life on the road. And an escape was something he felt he and his wife needed. For once putting their marriage first over everything else.

He had snuck in the door undetected by the dogs. Looking around the living room and not a soul insight. One could only assume everyone was upstairs, but before he could make his way there. Calvin spotted his wife walking through the kitchen with a basket full of clothes. Determined to see if he could sneak up on her or anyone in the house for that matter. He slowly walked through the living room and towards the kitchen. Spotting her opening the laundry room door.

Throwing things into the washer. Calvin took that chance to run up behind her and put his hands over her eyes. Alessandra quickly responded by tossing her elbow back and catching him right in the ribs. Calvin let go of her and bent over coughing.

CALVIN HARRIS: Goddamn woman!

She had turned herself around. The state of panic leaving her face now that she knew who it was, but her facial expressions said it all. She was glaring at him.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Are you fucking stupid or something?

CALVIN HARRIS: Well, I mean. I barely passed high school.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: And you just about passed away. Doing some dumb shit like that.

Calvin was able to get himself standing up straight. His hand favoring his ribs still a little bit as he leaned against the door of the laundry room.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Why didn’t you call when you landed? Could have picked you up.

CALVIN HARRIS: I figured I’d just catch an uber home. No big deal. I know you’ve been busy since we got back from vacation with the kids last month.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: ... Yeah, life has been a little hectic.

CALVIN HARRIS: Which is why I came up with a brilliant idea on my flight home.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: The man that barely passed high school and the man I’ve been married to for years - never once showing me anything of this nature has a brilliant idea?

She had a grin on her dark painted lips. The sheer sarcasm that dripped out of her response had Calvin rolling his eyes. Not that he would have expected any less from her.

CALVIN HARRIS: Just hear me out on this one.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Oh god. You’re serious. You actually put some thought into something.

CALVIN HARRIS: I gotta go to Mexico for Violent Conduct. You haven’t been able to go with me to any show. All this stuff going on, the kids, and whatnot. Figured, you could tag along with me. We’ll ask my sister to watch the kids for a few weeks. We could make it a little mini vacation for us.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: If I wanted to fall asleep. I’d just watch the matches in bed after you send them to me every week. I don’t need to be falling asleep live.

CALVIN HARRIS: Wowwwwwwwww!

Once again she let that sarcasm drip out of her. Quite proud of herself for being able to keep getting the upper hand on him.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: But in all seriousness. After the vacation a few weeks ago. The kids got back to school the day after your match. I haven’t gotten the school shopping done. We gotta get the dogs groomed. There’s just too much going on right now, love. Can’t afford to go.

CALVIN HARRIS: Oh c’mon. All of that stuff can be easily taken care of in a couple of days.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Do you plan on helping? Cause you know. You’re never really home these days. Easy for you to say something when you’re not part of it all.

CALVIN HARRIS: Wow, you’re really just all about busting my balls today huh?

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: It’s one of my favorite past times, yes.

Following her statement, Alessandra just turned around to finish doing what she had started when it came to laundry. However, it didn’t seem like Calvin was too keen on letting up on the idea. He grabbed her by the waist and spun her around. Putting her tiny frame up on the washer as he faced her.

CALVIN HARRIS: We have lost sight of ourselves when it comes to our relationship and you know it. We’re parents. We live busy lives. We are constantly living by a schedule. I can’t tell you the last time we went out and got dinner, just us. Or watched a television show together. We do next to nothing together or for our relationship.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Welcome to married life as parents, Calvin.

CALVIN HARRIS: That’s a cop out and you know it. You don’t make the time. Just like I don’t make the time. We’re both at fault here for that and this is my attempt to fix it. All that stuff can be handled when we get back. I think you, me, on the beach, and in a country we’ve never visited together before will do us a lot of good.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Yeah, me on a beach. That doesn’t sound appealing at all. You forget that I don’t go outside and I’m pale as hell. I do not feel like coming back with a sunburn.

CALVIN HARRIS: You’re just trying to find any excuse you can now. Seriously, it’ll be fun.

He had a little bit of a set of pleading eyes when he looked at her. It was clear that the thought of leaving things behind needed to be handled as a stress for her. Huffing slightly before looking back at him.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Ugh, this gives me so much anxiety. Because there is so much to be done. You would putt this at the wrong time.

CALVIN HARRIS: I know right? I just kind of suck as a husband. Asking to take his wife on a mini vacation to Mexico. I’m quite literally the worst.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Chill out there bud. It isn’t like you bought tickets for us to go or something. You were already going. Not nearly as romantic as you were trying to make it seem.

CALVIN HARRIS: You’re always such a hater.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Mmmhmmm. Anyway, I’ll go. On one condition.

CALVIN HARRIS: Sure thing. Name your price.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: You can be the one to take the pups to the groomer today.

CALVIN HARRIS: In whose car? Because they are not ruining my leather seats.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Guess, if you want me to go bad enough. You’ll figure it out huh?

That’s when she hopped down off the washer where she had put him. Turning long enough to get it started and then walked right on past him. Calvin stood there for a moment or two just shaking his head. The thought of the interior of his seats being ruined thanks to the couple of dogs they owned wasn’t the most pleasing thought in the world. However, the ultimate trade off was time with his wife, children free, for two weeks in mexico. Sucking it up wasn’t going to be so bad after all.


At this point the Highlight of the Night had gotten back into the groove of travel life. Something that took a little bit to get used to after not wrestling for five years. However, here lately it felt like he spent more time in an airport than he spent anywhere else. Today was no different. He and his wife were set to board their flight in the next hour. Alessandra had excused herself to go get herself from one of the shops leaving Calvin standing there alone. Leaning against one of the walls of the building. An airpod in one ear as he held his phone in front of him.

Thanks to having some connections in the business. He had managed to get someone to send him some footage of the man known as BRADDOCK -- the very man he was set to get in the ring with in a few weeks. Based on what he was seeing, he was impressed. It didn’t look like the man was the most technically sound wrestler, but the amount of punishment he could take and the things he was willing to put his body through said quite a bit about him.

Before the video could finish wrapping up, Calvin’s attention was diverted elsewhere when he heard someone speaking kind of softly.

“ Excuse me sir. ”

Reaching up to pull the airpod out of his ear and let his eyes fall to where he had heard the words. Calvin was facing two young boys. One being a little bit older than the other. Nodding his head in their direction.

CALVIN HARRIS: Hey there boys. Can I help you with something?

THOMAS: I hate to be a bother, but my name is Thomas. This is my brother Bryce.

BRYCE: Hi.

THOMAS: But uhm... you’re Calvin Harris right?

CALVIN HARRIS: That would be me!

THOMAS: I knew it. I’ve been watching you since your days in World Elite Wrestling.

CALVIN HARRIS: Oof, I apologize for you for having to see crappy programming.

THOMAS: Eh, I didn’t think it was that bad. Just wish they would’ve done a lot more with you. Almost four years there and not much to show for it.

CALVIN HARRIS: Maaaan, it is what it is. I try not to live in the past. It got my foot in the door and allowed me to do what I do. And gain fans like you. But, what can I help you guys with?

BRYCE: We want an autograph.

THOMAS: Bryce!

He had tugged on his younger brother’s arm a little bit.

THOMAS: I’m sorry he was so rude. He doesn’t really know better?

CALVIN HARRIS: It’s no big deal man. I know what it’s like to be the older brother and what it was like to be a kid in general at once.

THOMAS: But would you mind giving us an autograph?

CALVIN HARRIS: Sure thing man. Y’all got a pen or something?

THOMAS: Uh...

The teenager managed to reach inside his pocket and pull out a pen with an older snickers wrapper.

THOMAS: Better than nothing right?

CALVIN HARRIS: Hahaha, hold up man. I got something for you guys.

For a brief moment Calvin swung his backpack off his shoulders and unzipped it. Reaching inside it to pull out a vanilla folder. Opening it up to pull out two 8x10 photos of him with the SCW Internet Championship. Reaching over for the pen, once it was handed to him. He quickly signed his name on the corner of each 8x10. Handing them over to the boys.

CALVIN HARRIS: There you go. Those are hot off the press. First people to get them.

BRYCE: Wow! Really?! That’s so cool!

THOMAS: Wait! SCW? I thought you retired from there a while ago.

CALVIN HARRIS: Damn kiddo. You’re out of the loop a little. I unretired back around January. Came back to SCW that same month. Just became the Internet Championship last month. Been quite the journey with this return so far.

THOMAS: Oh man. I had no idea. Feel like a fake fan now.

CALVIN HARRIS: Nah, you noticed me. That says more than enough. It isn’t like I’m what I once was. Been kind of flying under the radar. But if you ever get a chance you should check out a show sometime.

THOMAS: Dude! Totally. When’s the next one?

CALVIN HARRIS: Well, I’m set to compete and defend my championship at Violent Conduct. August twenty seventh, I believe is the date.

BRYCE: Ooh dang. We’re going to Mexico.

THOMAS: Yeah, it’s our last family vacation before the school year starts. Guess, I’ll just have to see if I can find highlights on YouTube or something when we get back home.

CALVIN HARRIS: I’ll do you and your family one better, kid. If you can all make it to Yucatan during this time in Mexico. I’ll have tickets waiting for the two of you and your parents. You can check it out live.

THOMAS: What?! Really?!

BRYCE: No way! No way!

CALVIN HARRIS: Dead serious. If you guys can make it to the city that night. Tickets will be there with your name on them. Paid for me by me.

THOMAS: This would make vacation ten times better!

BRYCE: We have to go ask Mom and Dad right now!

THOMAS: Let’s go!

It didn’t take long for both the boys to rush off. Calvin laughed a little as he went to put his airpod back in his ear. Only for his wife to have returned. This time with one of those little neck pillows around her neck. She shook her head looking at him.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Those poor boys' parents are going to have their whole vacation plan thrown off because of you.

CALVIN HARRIS: Hey, I think I’m doing a pretty nice thing here.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: No one said it wasn’t nice, but that was not in those people’s plans. If they tell those boys no, their entire world is going to be crushed.

CALVIN HARRIS: Who tells their kids no about something they really want anyway?

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Do you want to discuss the art exhibit you told Ollie no to a few weeks ago?

CALVIN HARRIS: Alessandra! He wanted me to fly him to Paris for it. These people are already in Mexico.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Or let’s talk about you telling VP no about getting a bird, just last week.

CALVIN HARRIS: She doesn’t take care of the puppy she just had to have three years ago. We do. She doesn’t need another pet.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: You’re being a parent that tells their children no about something they really want. That’s all it sounds like to me.

Calvin just looked at her rolling his eyes a little bit. Never ceased to amaze him when it comes to her attempting to be a certified hater. She cracked a smirk as she settled against the wall next to him.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: But it’s sweet what you did. If all works out, you’ve just given those two kids a memory. They’ll have for the rest of their lives.

CALVIN HARRIS: Seeeeeee! I’m not nearly the bad guy you try to make me out to be all the damn time.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Well as long as you don’t, invite them, and then lose in front of them. Then yeah, you’re not the bad guy.

CALVIN HARRIS: You’re something else, you know that?!

Alessandra looked back at him letting a small chuckle leave her lips. Once more Calvin rolled his eyes as he tossed his backpack onto his back once again and then grabbed his suitcase to start walking away from her to head towards their boarding gate. It made him feel good to know that there was a generation of wrestling fans that exist out there that he had a big part in helping shape their love for the business. And the last thing he wanted to do was to let them down. That wasn’t something even possible in his head. However when the time came to address that he would.


Ever since coming back to the wrestling world. Calvin had treated everything like it was a business. He was only going city to city or country to country in order to go to work. Nothing more, nothing less. But for some reason this time out he felt like it was time to enjoy things. Maybe it was because he got his wife to agree to tag along. Or maybe just being a champion again made him feel some type of way. Whatever it was, he was set out to do it. Which is why he found himself on one of the many beaches of Yucatan, Mexico.

The sun was just starting to settle for the night. Everyone was pretty much gone from the beach. Aside from Calvin and his wife. Speaking of the Internet Champion, he found himself setting up a mini tripod with his phone attached, clearly with something in mind. However, walking up behind him shaking her blue dyed hair dry in a towel after coming from the water was his wife. She took one look at him and rolled her eyes, starting to mock him with a specific tone.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: “Oh babe! C’mon with me. It’ll be like a vacation...”  And here you are doing something for work. Some vacation.

CALVIN HARRIS: Woman, you knew I was going to have to do something work related at some point. This is the first time in the three days we’ve been here.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: And you choose now of all times to do it. Got your attractive wife. On a beach all by yourself. Where things could be done that are illegal in some states back home... Again, you choose work.

She was clearly trying to get under his skin while showing off at the same time. He shot her a little look, as a smirk just crossed her lips.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: You got until I get back from the little girls room and then you’re mine. Better hope you got the “promo” all wrapped up or it’ll turn into something you can’t send to the company. It’d be better suited for a black and yellow website.

Her fingers had tugged on his jet black long locks for a brief second.

CALVIN HARRIS: You’re about to let yourself write a check your ass can’t cash.

His hand reached out to give a slight slap to the backside. Alessandra just rolled her eyes at him before walking off for the time being. This allowed Calvin to turn back to what he was doing. Hitting the record bottom on his phone before getting himself in shot.

[ RECORDING ]

Laying there on the towel and picking up the lukewarm beer he had embedded into the sand. Taking a small swig from it, he let his eyes focus on the cameras. A slight smirk crossing his lips in the process.

“ Hello to the SCW Universe. It is I - your - Internet Champion. And as you can see I’m really starting to take in the scenery here in Mexico. This has to be by far one of the best beaches I’ve ever been to in my near thirty five years of life. Now, it does make it that much better knowing that I got my fine as hell wife to actually come out and spend time with me on this trip. Two weeks away from the kids and away from our day to day lives. If you only knew the things that were going down. ”

That smirk spread a little more, giving the cameras a little wink.

“ But as much as I’m out here having the time of my life. I’m more than aware of what the focus is. It has everything to do with me defending the SCW Internet Championship at Violent Conduct. At this point you folks are already aware that you had a big part in deciding my challenger. BRADDOCK is the man that I’ll be standing across the ring before I know it. It’s always nice to see a newcomer get their flowers. Especially when some many wrestlers nowadays are all about gatekeeping and afraid to quote unquote lose their spots. But me personally? I’m not afraid of losing my spot. I don’t need to gatekeep. I want to see people come along and get better. I want to see opportunities created for others that normally wouldn’t get them. That’s a big part of why this idea of mine came to be. ”

He placed that bottle back down into the sand before sitting himself up into a better posture. Keeping his eyes on his phone’s camera.

“ An idea that is as crazy as people said it was. I think it’s working out beautifully. Now with that being said BRADDOCK. You saw what I had to say at Climax Control. I told you that I wanted you to be the man to get voted in. Because of the fact I’ve got no knowledge of what you bring to the table. I’ve got no idea of just how good you could be. I’ve got no knowledge of how you handle things inside the squared circle. And as I said then by putting myself in this position. It’s putting my back against the wall, but that’s exciting to me. That’s where I seem to excel the most. When the odds are against me. And the only thing that I do know about you is what you’ve told me. You’re a fighter. That’s what gets your rocks off. Being a fighter is what you take pride in BRADDOCK.

I can respect that. I might not be a fighter myself. At least not in the way that you carry yourself, but there was a period of time in my life where causing people some pain brought me a sense of satisfaction. You seem like the type that likes to bring the pain with the fight. After all, I did get a chance to watch your debut match with Max Steele. You might as well have done that kid a favor and taken his head off for good. Just brutalized that man from one side of the ring to the other. It was impressive. But, I hope that you don’t think that we’re all the same here in SCW. Matter of fact BRADDOCK for your sake, I hope that you’ve actually done your research when it comes to me to understand just exactly what you’re up against. Cause you’re going to have a much different fight on your hands. ”

All this talk about fighting might’ve given the fans the impression that maybe they were into the wrong programming. This was meant to be about professional wrestling, but the Highlight of the Night was very much aware of how much different this match was going to be compared to the usual.

“ And I also get that  championships aren’t something that motivates you. Which, I have my own personal feelings about that. Anyone in this business should aim to be a champion. You should aim to be at the very top at all costs. But if that’s how you handle things. By all means handle your business. However, I am in this business to be the best that I can be. I came back to wrestling after a five year hiatus to compete at the highest level possible. And by you being voted in for this match. As much as I embraced it. I’ve got no other choice but to look at you as a threat. I’ve got no choice but to see you as someone that’s aiming to take everything away from me. Out here to ruin all that I’ve done for myself since coming back. I cannot allow that.

And we’re not going to be foolish to sit here and sell a story that I’m going to get in the ring with you. Go toe to toe and fist for fist. Nah, you’re a big ol’ boy. Not sure if it’s all natural. Ain’t pointing fingers or anything, but brother. You’re out here looking swole as hell. Steroids are very much a thing and easier now than ever to get a hold of. But nevertheless, being that damn big. It’d take one solid punch to my jaw to put my ass to sleep. And I punch you, it isn’t going to do a goddamn thing but get me laughed at. So, I’m not going to stand my own as far as a fight goes but I know as far as being a wrestler goes. I’m going to have your number. There’s no denying that I’m going to be faster than you. Being faster than you is going to give me an edge. Makes it a lot harder for you to clean my clock if you can’t get me.

Once we run around the ring a little bit and you start to gas out. In my head it’ll be a little easier to break you down. Couple good stiff kicks to those legs and knees. After all you are a little top heavy my brother. And as much as the juice might do the body good, it also does the body real bad. Simply put BRADDOCk I am going to wear you down until I’m able to put you down on the ground. Chop you down to size if you will and once I’ve got you off your feet. That’s where I’m really going to have that upper hand. As long as you don’t get back to a vertical basis. I should be golden and sadly for you my man. I know quite a few submissions to keep you grounded. Isn’t something I’ve had to use in quite some time, but it’s always in my game just in case it's needed. This is a time where it’s going to be needed. ”

For a moment the champion pointed to his head. Clearly alluding to the fact that he had some smart thinking, but of course everything in the wrestling world was easier said than done.

“ Might slap a good ol’ ankle lock on. Who doesn’t love seeing that? Or you know I could dabble into my time from Japan many years ago. Apply an armbar that’s going to make you wish I’d just break it. Or you know I even once used a Dragon Sleeper as a finishing move when I first started into the business. Locking your head and neck up tight while contouring your body in a very unique position. Making sure the pressure is as unbearable as possible. Hasn’t been used in years, but I’m sure I can remember how to apply that bad boy. Either way BRADDOCK. I’m more than aware of what I need to do in order to keep myself in the game and to ensure my Internet Championship comes home with me. ”

His statement might’ve rubbed some people the wrong way. It could’ve been taken out of context in the sense of making himself sound quite arrogant. But that wasn’t the case, he was just that determined to make sure that the championship came home with me.

“ The only real negative thing I would have to say about you at this moment BRADDOCK is that your focus seems off. Now, I’m out here enjoying mexico. I’m having a couple beers. Engaging in some Tequila. Having a good time with my wife. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to enjoy life. One should never make professional wrestling their entire focus. It’s toxic at times and will without a doubt make you start to hate wrestling but with that being said. That’s all I see out of you BRADDOCK. All about the partying, all about the drinking, the hot chicks, the strip clubs, and so on-so forth.

The way you come across at times is if you don’t really give a shit. You care more about the party lifestyle of being a wrestler than the actual wrestling aspect of things. And brother, that’s not the way to go about it. First and foremost, you’re going to rub people the wrong way. Me? I’m just going to call you out on it. I’m going to tell you to pull your head out of your ass. I’m going to tell you to start putting focus on what matters. Others? They’re not so bold and upfront. They’re not so forgiving. Instead those people might try and take liberties with you in the ing. Hell, those might try and get you black-balled from the biz.

You got those guys that will stab you in the back and go to management about things. You’lll get the guys that will say you’re bad for the business. That they don’t want to work with you. All that good shit. It can be a disaster if you don’t have some form of focus and drive to be in wrestling for the wrestling aspect. Not to mention my man. All those big names. From the sixties, the seventies, and even the eighties. The ones that were known for partying. They’re either dead or living with some pretty long term health conditions. So, while I ain’t telling you how to live ya life. Just saying ya might wanna reel it in. ”

A small shrug left his shoulders at that moment.

“ But for the sake of this match BRADDOCK I hope real soon you start to focus on what’s important. After all, you had all those people voting for you. You had all those people that wanted to see you in this match. You had me who wanted to see you in this match. There are several people going to Violent Conduct or at the very least tuning into where they are to see this match over anything else. I do not want to have it be a match that ends in short fashion. Because you didn’t do what needed to be done and because you weren’t focused on what mattered the most.

I’m a betting man though. I’m more than sure that by the time Violent Conduct rolls around. That your head is going to be where its needed. Now, whether or not you intend to be sober for the match. That kind of remains to be seen, but I’m confident that you’ll be focused and that you’ll give me the fight that I need. As well as the fight that all these people are interested in seeing. But I turn out to be wrong. If you don’t get it together. If you don’t focus. Well, then I’m going to have to do what I haven’t done in a long time and expose you in front of hundreds. With no regret. Choice is yours in the end BRADDOCK! ”

Calvin was a man that called things how he saw them. Again it might not have been taken the way people wanted, but at the very least he was someone that was honest and spit nothing but the truth. His eyes focused a little more.

“ Don’t get it twisted though brother. No need to get in your feelings or anything like that. Not that, I see you as the time to do so. But just for context, there’s no need for that. I stand by what I said. You being in this match is what I wanted and I don’t doubt for a second that, You’re going to show up and show out. More importantly, show SCW that you have arrived and that you do not intend to go anywhere anytime soon. Can’t wait to see what happens and where your career goes after this match, but at Violent Conduct. It just isn’t going to be your night. It isn’t going to be your moment. This isn’t going to be a miracle or when the unexpected happens. ”

As he shook his head from side to side once again. He picked up that beer and tilted it towards the camera on his phone.

“ In the meantime BRADDOCK. Take a seat, crack open a cold one, and enjoy Mexico. Just because it’s a situation where you might lose a match doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Cheers, my brother. ”

Bringing that bottle to his lips. He finished the last little bit of the beer that was in it before tossing it down in the sand. He leaned up to hit the button on his phone to end the recording.

[ END RECORDING ]

As far as he was concerned he could edit it and send it off to the right people in the morning. There were far more important matters to attend to. And right on cue there was his wife returning. She peered down at him as he looked back up at her with a smirk.

CALVIN HARRIS: See babe, I told you. It wasn’t going to take that long. Work handled. Back to this little mini vacation.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Oh for the first time in your life. You actually finished something quick.

CALVIN HARRIS: You know, that’s usually not something someone would complain about.

There was a brief chuckle that crossed his lips. Alessandra found herself taking a seat on his lap, staring into his eyes for a moment. However the moment the two of them went for a kiss SAND was kicked up and all over them. In their face, their hair, and and then some. Both of them were clearly shocked and blown away by this as they turned their heads. The sight they saw before them was GUY who had kicked himself out from under all that sand. Clearly had been buried there for a moment. Big grin on his face.

GUY: Huzzah! Surprise!

CALVIN HARRIS: Son of a bitch!

The look of overall disappointment on his face said it all. Guy was still beaming from ear to ear with that grin. Alessandra not even being able to contain herself with the laughter. This was clearly not how he envisioned this “mini vacation” as he had called it going. Not even close.

[BRADDOCK]

Summer of two thousand and one.

He was almost eight years old but he and his foster brother, Tyler (who is a year older than him), were running the streets of Riverside for the past year or so now. Their “parents" worked a lot and, when not working, were often times loaded in a bar. They didn’t just “fall through the cracks,” these two were forgotten by the overworked system. On this summer day, they are breaking in to cars and taking anything “cool" they can find (as well as any and all money, cigarettes, and lighters.) Tyler has a pocket full of change he liberated from several cars already while his brother picked up a switchblade from under the seat of a battered Iroc Z.

”I have, like, ten dollars in quarters here….let’s go to the arcade! I read online some cheats for Tekken Tag and I want to kick that Jerry kid's ass. Tired of him beating me…”

”Cool! I found a knife in that Camaro.”

”Lucky asshole.” he says, punching his brother in the shoulder. It takes them about fifteen minutes to walk to the mall where their arcade destination awaits. As they cross the threshold from the tiled, food court floor onto the carpeted floor of “Tilt,” a cacophony of sound assaults their ears. Bells ring, explosions rumble, machine guns fire, and skeeballs roll up their lane. Two kids are already playing Tekken Tag and a line of three more kids are waiting to challenge the victor.

”Hey, Nestor, Tyler; haven’t seen you two in awhile!” says a kid about their age wearing a Power Rangers t-shirt.

Nestor is Braddock’s birth name. He took on the moniker of “Braddock,” at the age of ten, after the name of the main character of one of his favorite movies. Chuck Norris played a Vietnam P.O.W. in the eighties action flick “Missing in Action 2” and his last name was Braddock.

Chuck wasn’t a muscle bound hulk like Stallone, Schwarzenegger, or Van Dam. He looked like most of the adult men he has seen growing up as opposed to a “movie star.” And while Tyler liked Bruce Lee, there was something about Chuck that caught Nestor's eye (Chuck Norris looks a lot like his father but he was too young to remember that.) 

”Either of you guys want to play Time Crisis with me?” the kid asks, hopeful.

”Naw, man, I got a date with Tekken Tag! I’m gonna pick Ogre and King; I read some tips online and I’m so gonna kick some ass!” Tyler was better than his brother at Tekken Tag but, at home on their Playstation 2, his brother wad untouchable at Madden. Having “parents” who were never around allowed them to “acquire” items like the video game console without many questions. On the other side of that coin, food was scarce and nobody, truly, cared for either of the boys.

Braddock pushed his glasses (almost identical to Cory Feldmen's glasses in ‘Stand by Me.’) back up onto the bridge of his nose with his right index finger before they were knocked off his face due to a hard shove from behind. Tyler instantly was on the defense, getting between his brother and the older, barely teenage boy who shoved him. Braddock puck up his glasses, folded the arms down, and set them on the nearby top of a sit down Ms. Paxman game.

The nearby kids start to gather around, anxious to see a fight, and as the older boy opens his mouth to speak, the foster brothers attack at the same time. At the time, Braddock was just under five feet tall and barely weighed one hundred pounds while Tyler was a couple inches taller, they weighed the same amount. Tyler feigned a punch to the face and, instead, kicked the boy in the nuts. He howled in pain, grabbed a this injured testicle with both hands, and dropped to his knees. Braddock used this opportunity to kick his tormentor in the face. The boys nose sounded like an ear of corn being broken in half and blood geysered out from his nostrils. The front of his shirt was soaked in blood and a pool was beginning to form on the floor, in front of his knees, where he kneeled on the carpet.

The brothers scrambled out of the arcade almost leaving his glasses behind. They weaved between customers standing in line at various restaurants in the food court before cutting down a hallway leading to the rest rooms. The hallway ends several feet past the men’s room door in a set of black double doors (the kind with the pushbar about three and a half feet off the ground.) A large, rectangular, red sign hands on both doors and both read the same thing; “Fire Exit Only Alarm Will Sound!” Indeed, a bell begins screaming as soon as they crash through the two doors and out into the sun.

Nobody pays the duo any attention as they race through the parking lot. They run for blocks before both collapse into the brown grass of a strangers lawn, and Braddock vomits up the candy he recently ate. He and Tyler exchange a glance before they help each other back onto their feet. They get their bearings and begin their trek home. Fortunately, they are less than a mile walk to get there. It’s on this walk that they walked past a park where a small Wrestling company was putting on a show. A muscle bound brute, with almost as much body hair as muscles, manhandled a skinny, younger looking man. The brute got in all the offense before ending the match with a vicious Lariat that turned his opponent inside out.

The impact of that clothesline had quite an impact on young Braddock as well. While his brother thought the younger man would kick out, it wasn’t in the cards for him that night. The brute ground his forearm into the cheek and eye of his opponent while the refs hand slapped the mat three times. Tyler shook his head in disgust while Braddock rushed over to try and get a high five from the hairy brute. He walked past the fan’s outstretched hands and even spit at some but he made eye contact with Braddock before continuing backstage.

”I thought for sure that guy woulda kicked out!” Tyler complained.

”Naw, man, that almost took that dudes head off! Look at that guy…he’s still all loopy and shit!” Braddock said, pointing to the man who lost as he stumbled to the back, really selling the Lariat.

Today…

Tyler enters Braddock’s home carrying a small plastic bag that obviously came in the mail. He enters the living room where his brother is taking a hit from a two foot glass bong. He smiles when he sees his brother and exhales the hit out through the gap of his missing teeth.

”What's up, brotha?” he asks, noticing the package in Tyler’s hand.

”The postman gave me this for you. I saved him the trip. What the fuck did you buy from Mexico?” Tyler asks while tossing the bag to Braddock.

“It’s my mask!” he exclaims, ripping the bag open like a toddler chimp. He pulls out the mask and tugs it on into place on his head and over his face. It’s and all black mask with a red “Chaos" symbol on the face. ”I ordered it from a mask maker in Mexico for my upcoming match in Sin City Wrestling. When in Mexico City….ya know?” he says with all the confidence of someone who doesn’t know they are wrong. His brother laughs at him while shaking his head.

”It’s ‘When in Rome,’ dumbass.” he says while opening a bottle of Dos Equis.

”You know what I meant, right?” he retorts. Tyler nods in the affirmative as he gulps down a couple swallows of beer. ”S.W.F.’s camera crew will be here in a few days to shoot a quick interview with me about my upcoming match; you gonna be here for it?”

He shrugs. ”Sure, why not? Just chicken off camera?” he sounds hopeful and when his brother nodded he beamed. ”Yesssss" he indeed drew out the “s" sound. Braddock takes another rip from his bong before handing it over to Tyler. ”Proud of ya, bro.” he said with sincerity.

”Go fuck yourself!” Ahh, brotherly love….

[Calvin Harris]

Out of the two weeks of being in Mexico preparing for Violent Conduct. Calvin had the idea of spending one of those weeks exclusively with his wife. Being married with young children was harder than most people thought and there wasn’t a whole lot of “them” time. Yet, all of that went out the window on just the second day of them being there. Just earlier he and his wife were enjoying their time at the beach. When out of the sand popped GUY. He’d consider himself Calvin’s best friend. On the other hand Calvin would consider him a pain in the ass. Especially now more than ever.

Calvin stood there in the hotel room with his arms folded across his chest. Stank face all over his expression. Glaring daggers through GUY who was unpacking his things from a suitcase. The man seemed to be completely clueless at the daggers being stared at him. As well as clueless to the energy that was off between the two of them. But then again, that wasn’t much of a surprise when it came to GUY. Common sense just wasn’t his thing. Calvin found himself clearing his throat as he spoke up.

CALVIN HARRIS: Why?!

His aggressive tone made GUY look up from what he was doing. His white painted face twisted up into a very confused look.

GUY: Why? Why what?

CALVIN HARRIS: Why are you here right now?!

GUY: Uh duh, hello?! Violent Conduct is next week.

CALVIN HARRIS: An event for a company that you don’t work for mind you, but that’s not even what I am questioning right now. I want to know why you are here? In our room? In my line of sight?!

The confusion on GUY’s face seemed to stay and intensify by the moment.

GUY: Because we’re roomies!

CALVIN HARRIS: Pretty sure the hotel room reservations have the names Calvin and Alessandra Harris on them. Nowhere does it say Guy.

GUY: Guy With Cape is the full name. Get it right sir.

CALVIN HARRIS: No, the only person that needs to get anything right is you. You showing up has ruined this entire idea I had for the week. You’re a giant cock block!

GUY: Huh? Who blocks cock?

Based on the look on GUY’s face. It was very clear that he didn’t understand the term or what Calvin was upset about. But of course before the conversation could get any further. Alessandra walked herself out of the hotel’s bathroom. Drying off her hair from a shower and after an entire day at the beach. She observed the room.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: You boys playing nice?

GUY: Well Mr. Grumpy over here is going off about cocks being blocked and being just his usual grumpy self.

CALVIN HARRIS: Kiss my ass, freak!

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Hey now. Do I have to put the two of you in time out like the children I have at home right now?

GUY: He started it.

CALVIN HARRIS: No, you started it by showing up and ruining the plans I had.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Again! Do I need to repeat myself?!

Her ‘mom voice’ coming out when addressing both adult men. Of course, it caught their attention rather quickly. She looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment. Her eyes finally settled in on her husband.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Calvin, you’re being a giant baby. You are making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.

CALVIN HARRIS: Are you serious right now?

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: As serious as they come. I’m well aware that you wanted this to be a little vacation for us. I’m for it. I appreciate it, but you also don’t treat your friends like trash. I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with a thirty four year old man. Do better.

GUY: Ha, what she said. Do better, bestie!

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: And as far as you go...

Those words came out of Alessandra’s mouth as she turned herself around. Letting a fierce set of eyes follow on the cape wearing bashful man. GUY swallowing heard realizing he was in some trouble.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: You need to stop acting so innocent in all of this. You like to wind my husband up. You get joy out of getting under his skin and getting him all rattled. Don’t bother to try and say that you don’t... Not to mention, it’s pretty respectful to call and ask if you can room with someone. No matter of you’re friends with them or not. Especially when it’s a married couple.

Not a word came from GUY and not a word came from Calvin. Letting the woman get her grievances out as she was clearly over both of them.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Now what I’m going to do is go down to bar. Get myself a couple of drinks. And when I get back up here. I expect you to have both made up and for my vacation to start getting a lot better. I make myself clear?

GUY: Yes ma’am.

CALVIN HARRIS: Loud and clear.

ALESSANDRA REYNOLDS-HARRIS: Good.

Following those words Alessandra made a beeline right for the hotel door. Out it she went, closing it with a little more force than she normally would have. The room now filled with an awkward silence. Calvin unfolded his chest and started to walk past GUY.

GUY: Uh, so how about that championship match next week? Looking good eh champ?

CALVIN HARRIS: Cock block me again and I swear to all that is holy.  I’ll make sure that you stay here in Mexico for good.

GUY: For good?

CALVIN HARRIS: I said what I said.

Before GUY could get another word in edgewise. Calvin took it upon himself to go ahead and walk on out of the room himself. Leaving GUY standing there alone. Still as confused as ever. But nevertheless went on about his business of unpacking his things. Calvin was just approaching the elevators at the end of the hall. This was not starting off how he wanted it to. All he could hope for now is that the match around the corner went the way it was or he’d end up turning into the biggest sour puss to exist.


Twenty four hours from now Violent Conduct would be taking place. It had the entire country of Mexico talking. Calvin saw loads of people coming in from all over this weekend. He had met all kinds of people, interacted with them, and felt their energy. The buzz for Violent Conduct was there. But as much as the fans and everyone else was feeling the buzz. The Highlight of the Night himself wasn’t feeling that same buzz. Not like he thought he would be.

But a lot of that had to deal with the man he was going to be in the ring with. Something was missing, and he felt it. With a camera crew on hand, the Internet Champion found himself smack dab in the middle of the Grand Ball Court. Title over his shoulder and his eyes locked forwards. That’s when the little red light went on and revealed to him that they were recording. It was his time to shine and get a little off these grievances he was feeling off his chest. In the most positive way that he could.

“ BRADDOCK... ”

Saying his opponent’s name kind of left a small sour taste in his mouth.

“ I have to say at this point man. I’m super and I mean super disappointed. My idea for the Internet Championship was meant to be a hit. It was meant to be popular. It was meant to give the SCW audience something they weren’t all that used to. Having the power to decide when the title would be defended, who it would be defended against, and even at times how it was defended. Those fans couldn’t wait to let their voices be heard and they sure did make them heard when it was decided you would be the man. I’d defend the title against at Violent Conduct.

Something about you struck a chord with our fans to make them go out of their way to vote you in. And as I’ve told you before. When that poll first went up. Out of every name on there I was the most excited about yours and I wanted to see you standing across the ring from me. For no other reason than the fact that you were a fresh face to the roster. I didn’t know a whole lot about you. I wasn’t familiar with your game or what you could do between those ropes. To me that was exciting and something that made me feel like this would be a fun challenge to take on. ”

There was a slight shake of his head in that moment. One thing that had remained true over the course of these last few weeks was his story. From day one he had said this is what he wanted and this was a challenge he craved. Yet, even though he stayed true to his story. Something was noticeably off.

“ The last time you heard from me, BRADDOCK. I said the only negative thing I had to say about you is that you’re focus was off. It was majorly off. You seemed to be more focused on being in bars and at strip clubs. Hanging around pretty women. Getting as drunk as you possibly could. And you know, I’m not one to judge. There was a time in my life where I was bit of a partier myself. That took alot of precedent over many other things going on in my life. So I get it, I really do. But I was sure that once it got down to crunch time. You would shift your focus and you’d start focusing on the big prize hanging before you. That of course being me and this right here. ”

Calvin for a brief moment tapped the SCW Internet Championship that sat on his shoulder.

“ However, it turns out I’m wrong. Anytime anything on the ol’ Twitter or X machine. Whatever the dumb ass is running it this days calls it. You’re still all about the parties. You’re still all about the bars, the strip clubs, and the pretty women. However, now I see more things about these other matches and these other promotions you work for. Pro wrestling is a giant gig, brother. I’m not one to tell you how to go about your business. Work for as many promotions as you want. Get those reps in with the matches. But when those promotions aren’t giving you an opportunity like the one you’re getting now.

Especially one that was decided by the fans. I think it’s kind of a spit in the face to the company and the fans of said company. Your focus should be right here, right now. But that’s clearly not the case. And I know it’s social media. It doesn’t really matter or hold any real value. But then when I reach out to certain people within the company about things. I hear that no one has seen you in the country. I hear that you’ve pretty much abandoned a lot of your media appearances. Making it sound more and more like there’s a chance this match is going to be in some serious jeopardy as you may not even be here for Violent Conduct. ”

Last thing that Calvin wanted to do was hit the panic button. Create a negative story about BRADDOCK - especially one that could end up being false. Yet, at the same time he felt like his hands were being tied.

“ I would like to hope that isn’t the case. I really don’t want to have to go out to the ring. Announce in front of thousands. They will not be getting an Internet Championship match because you either A.) didn’t have the balls to show up. Or B.) because you were too focused on anything else to care. Either way you slice that situation. It isn’t good. It does me not favors, it does this company no favors, it surely lets the fans down, and it makes you: BRADDOCK look like the biggest pile of steaming dogshit that has ever existed in this company. And that’s saying something when you had people like Tommy Crimson once work here. Is that truly how you want to be remembered here in SCW? ”

Lifting his eyebrow for a moment in the questioning manner. Hoping that if this reached the man he was talking about. It would make him wake up a bit.

“ Now the more and more I think about it, BRADDOCK. I really can’t wrap my mind around why this is happening. Like I said, it's one of two reasons. You either don’t care enough about this match, the championship, or this company. Or you just don’t have the balls to show up. I’d like to rule both of them out, but those are the only two options I can come up with. And since we pretty much covered number one. It makes me wonder if it is the second option. And if that’s the case. Why? Why don’t you have the balls to show up? Why don’t you have the balls to wrestle me? Why don’t you have the balls to get in the ring with someone who is literally trying to help SCW stay afloat?!

It can’t be because you’re afraid of me right? You put the two of us side by side and you can see the massive difference. Yeah, I made jokes about you possibly being unnatural. But it doesn’t matter if you are or are not. You’re clearly much bigger than I am. And I already told you, if this was a fight situation. I don’t know that I’d be able to stand up in the end. One of those punches from those massive ass hands of yours would knock me on my ass. But, this is a wrestling match and maybe that’s what you’re afraid of? The fact that I could expose you as not being a great wrestler. The fact that I could show the fans that getting behind you might have been a bad idea.

Or that I might expose you to upper management and maybe make them reconsider signing you in the first place. If that’s what you’re afraid of BRADDOCK. Understand two things. Number one, I’m a second generation superstar. I’ve been doing this since I was eighteen years old. I’ve been trained by some of the best and been in the ring with some of the best. I’ve dedicated my whole life to this. Meanwhile a lot of wrestlers dedicate six months to a wrestling school and call themselves a wrestler. The fact I’m a better wrestler than you isn’t meant to be taken as an insult. It’s just I’ve put in the work to be this good.  And the second thing you need to understand is, I’m not out here to expose you. ”

Once again, Calvin shook his head from side to side to back up his statement. However, the look in his eyes was the most telling of it all. Clearly, he meant every word he was saying.

“ Five-six years ago when I was at my worst. When I was just out to be a heathen and be as destructive as possible. I’d be frothing at the mouth to expose you. But I’m a changed man, and I’d like to stay a changed man. I would get no pride or satisfaction exposing you to people. I’d get nothing out of watching the people turn on you. Not when I want them to feel like they got their money’s worth and when I want them to be into this match. I want it to be bigger than the main event itself. I would get nothing out of making Mark Ward and Christian Underwood feeling like they wasted their time in signing you. I would feel no joy out of them pulling whatever contract they gave you.

Less people on the roster, means less matches. That leads to less events which ultimately leads to less money and the company having no choice but to close their doors in the end. So again, I’m not trying to expose you. I am simply out here trying to have the best match possible with a person that people are behind and wanted to see in the match to begin with. You’re making that extremely difficult by being silent and putting this feeling out into the atmosphere that you’re not going to be here or at the very least not focused on behind here. But then again, if it isn’t the things I’ve mentioned before. Maybe just maybe this is the effect you want it to have on me. I let my guard down and then you strike. ”

There was a slight shrug in his shoulders. Based on the tone of voice the Internet Champion was using. That didn’t seem like it was something he was too worried about.

“ Maybe just maybe you’re one of those kinds of people, but if that is your goal. Well kudos to you for trying the approach. It very rarely works out in today’s day and age of wrestling, but I can respect an old school tactic. However, this is where it goes back to how good of a wrestler I am BRADDOCK. I never let my guard down. I never for a second slouch. I don’t ever go into a match thinking less of my opponent. Because, I know once I do. That’s how you get hit hard. That’s how you get taken advantage of. And that’s how you lose everything you worked so hard to have. Point, I’m making here is... this approach won’t work for you. I’m showing up at my best. No matter what you decide to do. ”

Once again there was a slight shrug of his shoulders. The attitude coming off as if he didn’t really care all that much, but the thing is he cared. Maybe a little too much. He cared to have the best match of the night and have everyone talking. Cameras found themselves zooming in a little at that point.

“ In the end BRADDOCK, I can’t tell you what to do with your career. I can’t tell you how to conduct yourself. I can’t tell you how to do business. Those are all decisions you’re going to have to make on your own. But what I can tell you is, you’ve disappointed me. You’ve let down a lot of people so far. And you’ve fired me up on the inside. I know that any given day, I could lose a match and I could lose this championship. But the last thing I’m going to do is lose to someone like you who doesn’t give a shit. Nah, far too many SCW superstars over the years have been company with that approach. No way, I’m allowing that to happen again. So, just understand. You do decide to show up. The only highlight of your night is getting your ass handed to you by me! ”

It turned out those would be the last words to escape his lips. He just took one last look at the camera hoping that his message would come across as clear as it could. Before he turned and walked right out of the view. The little red light shutting off right away. As far as he was concerned the stage had been set. He said what needed to be said. It would either light a fire under his opponent’s ass or he’d be telling thousands that there would be no match. That’s just how it was going to go.

[BRADDOCK]

The scene opens on a still image of a sun drenched beach with crashing waves and smiling people. The camera pulls out to show BRADDOCK holding a menu from “LA Cabaña Mexican Restaurant.” Mariachi music is piped through the speakers and the décor looks like it was installed during the nineties. A chubby Mexican woman arrives carrying a try and places a bottle of Dos Equis in front of him as well as some chips, beans, and salsa. He has a flannel on with a unique yellow and black pattern and a pair of jeans that look well loved. He has his glasses on as well, a pair of thick, black framed glasses reminiscent of Cory Feldman's glasses in “Stand by Me.”

The waitress returns with two double shots of clear liquid and places them in front of the tattooed behemoth. Braddock doesn’t blink an eye and one shot is down. He no sells it as if it was water and then takes the second shot and downs it. Again, his expression doesn’t change and he washes the second shot down with half the bottle of beer.

”So, Cal, you’re ‘disappointed’ in me? Shucks, pa, alls I ever wanted to do was make you proud!” he says, bursting into laughter after fighting to keep a straight face. ”I truly don’t give a damn what you think about me. Just because you got nothin goin on in your life, so little in fact that you stay in Mexico weeks before our match, doesn’t mean all of us don’t have sh(bleep!)t to do. ‘You haven’t even addressed the fans!’ he said, clutching his pearls.” he scoffs, shaking his head before removing his glasses and wipes his face with his free hand.

”Unlike you, Cal, I’m not beholden to the fans. I don’t care if they like me or what they want. Holding a belt isn’t the be-all end-all for my wrestling career. It means more money, yes, but I’m doin pretty good for myself on that front.”

The waitress approaches with a ticket pad in hand and speaks to him in Spanish. He rubs his chin, thoughtfully, before pointing to something inside the menu. She nods and scribbles it down on her notepad before taking his menu. He holds up his bottle and two fingers on his other hand. She smiles, nods, and walks away.

”Now, don’t get me wrong, more money is never a bad thing but I don’t Base my life, and career, around holding a belt. I watched you clip and was gobsmacked by how self-righteous you sounded. Lecturing me on how I live my life outside the ring. Should I choose to live in a gym and strip club, getting faced most nights, is no concern to you. It doesn’t hurt you in the slightest. Take your advice, Cal, and f(bleep!)k off!”

The waitress arrives with two fresh bottles of beer and he drains the bottle he was workin on before handing it to her. She takes the empty, with a smile, before shuffling out of the shot.

”Mexico, the home of Lucha Libre, masked warriors flying through the air, delivering quick, explosive moves. “ he says before pulling something black and red from his back pocket. He turns away from the camera, ducking his head, and pulls whatever it was down over his head. He adjusts it briefly before turning to face the camera. A black mask covers his head and, on the face, is a red Chaos symbol with gold piping. ”And when in Mexico, do as they do! Don’t worry, Cal, I am more than ready for you. Even if I do like to have fun.

Poor f(bleep!)ker! This guy complains that I spend my free time with strippers! Look, Cal, because you are saddled with some crotchety, old bitch doesn’t mean all of us have to follow suit! Your old lady may carry your balls in a jar, in her purse, but that doesn’t mean it has to happen to me! You should quit worrying about my private life and focus more on what is gonna happen in the ring.”

The waitress returns with a plate, heaping with food, sizzling loudly while steam floats up from the food. He tanks he and digs into a pile of meat and then some beans. He shovels the food, with some added rice, into his mouth and chews happily.

”Now, this is some bomb food! I imagine it will be even better across the border![“

He takes the lid off of a round container and removes a heated flour tortilla. He rips it in half and uses it in place of his fork.

”Cal, you need to relax, bud. What’s the point of being Champ if you’re always so uptight?! Ask your wife to give ya your balls back. Let ya be a man on your own two feet. Or is that your thing? Being dominated and pegged by her? No shame, brotha, no shame! You do you…..just quit crying about me living my life how I want.”

As the scene fades out, two kids walk in with their parents and they give BRADDOCK a long stare, focused on his mask. He shoves another wad of meat, peppers, beans, and rice through the mouth hole of his mask.

See ya in Mexico, bitch….