GOTH AND MELISSA WILL BE SHOCKED AT WHAT WE REVEAL
Narrator: There’s a lot of history between Bill Barnhart and Goth but most people don’t know the details. Bill assured me he would reveal the truth so everyone will be informed and Goth will be shocked. Also this Mixed Tag Team match between the team of Bill and Bea Barnhart versus the team of Goth and Melissa has an added twist in that Goth is scheduled to face off against Bill Barnhart for the Roulette Championship at Inception VI in January 2023.
The scene shifts to a shot of Bill and Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, in the home of Bill’s half-sister who lives in Oakland, California, which is across the Bay from San Francisco. Bill and Bea are wrestling in a Mixed Tag Team match at Climax Control 350 at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco. The camera person assigned to Bill and Bea informs them they are going live broadcasting so Bill and Bea settle on the couch, while Iris lays down on the floor, and we listen intently.
Bill: So, Bea, we’re facing off against Goth and Melissa in a Mixed Tag Team match at Climax Control 350. Since Sin City Wrestling doesn’t currently have an active Mixed Tag Team Division we were asked to do a combined comments session concerning our match and I’m okay with that.
Bea: Yeah me too. Shouldn’t you tell the viewers who owns this house we’re broadcasting from in Oakland?
Bill: The person who owns this house is my half-sister. My full sister is the one who passed away at a young age and due to the circumstances surrounding her passing at the hands of Chris Shipman but I try to avoid mentioning the specifics of her death. The only thing people need to know is that Chris Shipman was found guilty for her death and he was prosecuted so I leave it at that. Let me introduce you to my half-sister Starr. Could you please say a few words to our fans?
Starr is nervous as she is camera shy but she steps into camera view to honor Bill’s request.
Starr: I’m shy and nervous being on camera so I’ll make this short. When I heard that my brother, Bill, and his wife, Bea, were going to wrestle in San Francisco I called them to ask them to stay with me until they’re done with their event in San Francisco. That’s longer than I care to be in front of the camera so I’m going to go out of camera range again.
Starr quickly walks out of camera range and the camera person returns to focusing on Bill and Bea.
Bill: Bea since we’re required to do combined comments for our Tag Team match how do you want to break the tie between us to see who gets to comment first rather than both of us talking at the same time?
Bea: That’s easy. I’ll ask the camera person to flip a coin and you get to call HEADS or TAILS while the coin is in the air. When it lands if it is showing what you called then you deliver your comments first and I’ll do my comments after you. If it doesn’t show what you called then I get to go first and you’ll get to present your comments when I’m done. Are you ready Bill?
Bill: I’m always ready!
The camera person tosses the coin into the air. When the coin is in the air tumbling Bill shouts out HEADS and when the coin comes to a complete stop on the floor it is showing Heads so Bill gets to present his comments first with Bea commenting after Bill is done.
Bill: HEADS!!! I get to comment first! Sorry Bea but you were the one who decided how we determine who comments first.
Bea: Yes I did and yes the coin landed on Heads as you called it. Enjoy your time with your comments because I’m ready to jump in and have my say the moment you’re done with your comments.
HOW DO BILL AND GOTH MEASURE UP AGAINST EACH OTHER?
Bill: Here in Sin City Wrestling I don’t have any history against Goth in the ring. This will be our first meeting in Sin City Wrestling where we wrestle against each other. I come into this match at 6 feet 4 inches in height and 240 pounds in weight. Goth comes into this match at 6 feet 4 inches and 239 pounds. The only difference is that I carry one pound of weight more than Goth and and that doesn’t equate into an advantage. But, Goth, I want to let the viewers know that one of us does, in fact, have an advantage. . .a HUGE advantage. . .against the other but I’ll address that later in my comments.
Bill flashes a sinister grin into the camera.
Bill: Goth are you familiar with the Clint Eastwood movie titled PALE RIDER? It is a movie about the Old West in a mining area near LaHood, California. The miners, who were not working for Coy LaHood who was the owner of the large mining company there, worked very hard to work the mines they legally owned but they were being terrorized by the owner of a mining company by the name of Coy LaHood. He would beat people, shoot at them, drag them around tied to the back of the horses his thugs were riding, and many other mean things to try to get them to quit mining and sell, or give, their mining land to him. Do some of these intimidation tactics sound familiar Goth? I’ll address the intimidation and threats thing concerning you later in my comments. For now let me continue with the story that took place in the movie Pale Rider.
Bill winks into the camera.
Bill: Let me continue to enlighten you on what happened in the movie Pale Rider. The owner of the main mining company, Coy LaHood, sent his thugs to put hits on the miners to try to get them to quit and give or sell their mining claims to him. One day a Preacher, portrayed by Clint Eastwood, rode through town and he saw what Coy LaHood was doing to the people there. He was called Pale Rider which is a reference to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as the pale horse’s ghost rider (the person portrayed by Clint Eastwood in the movie) represents death.
Bill laughs loudly.
Bill: So, Goth, do you want to know what happened? The Pale Rider would deliberately put himself in compromising positions only to have Coy LaHood’s thugs try to take him out only to get themselves taken out by the Pale Rider instead. How did the Pale Rider accomplish this you ask? In one incident the Pale Rider went into a saloon and sat at a table with his back to the entrance door. You should know that they always tell you never sit with your back to the door as you’re likely to get shot in the back. When Coy’s men saw Pale Rider sitting with his back to the door they snuck up to the saloon then barged in only to find the Pale Rider has disappeared. However the moment they turned around to walk out of the saloon the Pale Rider shot them dead. This type of thing happened over and over and over again and Coy’s thugs couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t take out the Pale Rider. The end of the story is that Coy LaHood lost his mining company and the miners he terrorized kept their mines and houses and property and lived happily ever after. So, Goth, in our match you represent Coy LaHood the thug and I represent the Pale Rider. Good luck trying to take me out!
WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN BILL AND GOTH TO CAUSE THIS HATRED?
Bill: Now I know most of you who either never saw the movie PALE RIDER, or you have seen the movie but with your limited brain capacity you can’t remember what happened in the movie, are scratching your heads and going DUH! so let me present to you, and to my upcoming opponent, Goth, what happened between Goth as the owner and President of the wrestling federation, where he treated me like crap while I was serving as his Vice President. Hope you’re ready to hear the truth that split up me and Goth because I’m going to give you the true version of what happened between us.
Bill holds up one finger into the camera.
Bill: The first item is that I was one of the top wrestlers in Goth’s wrestling federation. After I earned the Grand Slam it was Goth who approached me to ask me to be on his Creative team and I accepted. Then he promoted me to be his personal assistant . Then then he promoted me to Vice President. So, you ask, with all those perks and promotions given to me by Goth why did I have an issue? Glad you asked.
Bill holds up two fingers into the camera.
Bill: After serving as Goth’s Vice President he started overloading me by dumping his work on me. He wouldn’t let me go home, or train for my matches, until all the work he dumped on me was properly completed and filed away. I worked many days until after Midnight before I could leave work and return home. This took a horribly hard toll on me. It wasn’t just the work that wore me out. It was Goth’s continuous insults and him passing his work on me so he could go out and party all night while I did all the work of the Federation so he could get credit for my work. Also included in the drain on me was that Goth was very abusive and he mentally drained me to the point where my wrestling record suffered. It was so bad that I told Goth I’m quitting as his Vice President and Personal Assistant because of his abuse. After I quit working for him in the Front Office my winning record improved dramatically. At that point I told myself when the time comes I’ll get revenge on the jerk named Goth.
Bill holds up three fingers into the camera.
<font color=yellow>Bill: Later in that year Goth had a match against Jason Perry in an Electrified Steel Cage Match. I was excited to watch this match as I wanted to see Goth destroyed. During the match both Goth and Jason gave all they had to try to drive their opponent into the electrified steel cage to shock their opponent and win the match. Jason was the one who was able to slam Goth into the the electrified steel cage and Jason held Goth against the cage where Goth was thrashing around like a frog on speed. You’re probably asking why Jason didn’t also get shocked and that’s a great question. Before Jason slammed Goth into the electrified steel cage he donned a pair of heavy duty insulated anti-shock gloves. After determining that Goth could not get off the cage on his own, and he was getting electrocuted so he wasn’t able to say I QUIT to stop the electricity from pulsing through his body, the Referee called the match as a win by submission for Jason Perry.
Bill holds up four fingers into the camera.
Bill: At the end of the year awards that match I just described won the award for Most Shocking Moment, and I asked to be given the privilege of presenting the award for the Most Shocking Moment to Jason and Goth. I had Goth and Jason join me on the landing. I asked Jason to wait for a moment while I talk with Goth and he agreed. I then asked Goth to sit in a very nice chair. I’m talking a very plush chair that would be at home in any King’s palace. I hope you get a good mental picture that the moment Goth’s arms laid down on the armrests I clicked a remote and metal clasps flipped up and trapped him to the chair along with metal clasps around his ankles. I asked Goth to apologize to me for being a jerk to me for years and he refused to apologize to me which included him spitting on me while he demanded I release him from the chair. I gave Goth a second chance to apologize to me and again he refused. So I flipped the switch and shocked the crap out of Goth. I turned off the electricity and gave him another chance to apologize to me and he refused again so once again I flipped the switch and shocked him. After several bouts of having the life nearly zapped out of him Goth finally apologized to me and I let him go from the chair.
Bill holds up five fingers into the camera.
Bill: Okay I can make an educated guess that most of you watching demand to know why, if I electrocuted Goth to near death during that presentation, and Goth did grunt out an apology to me, why have I still been hanging on to the grudge when he apologized after I nearly electrocuted him? Well, by golly gee, that’s a great question and I’m here to give you the answer! Although Goth apologized to me on the day of that Awards Ceremony after he apologized to me, when he turned to walk back to his office, he muttered to me, soft enough so nobody else heard it, something like “YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU MAY HAVE GOTTEN OVER ON ME TONIGHT BUT THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN! I WILL HAVE THE LAST LAUGH IN THIS FEUD! Well, Goth, you sealed your fate with that parting comment! You couldn’t just walk away and realize the mistakes you made by abusing me in that other wrestling federation! Now you have to face off against me this Sunday evening. Although this is not a Singles match of just you and me against each other, as this is a Mixed Tag Team, I’ll still beat you down, hurt you, and destroy you! I know you’ll try to take advantage of tagging out to Melissa to get away from my beatings but that only means Melissa will have to deal with Bea beating her down. What takes place in this match, Goth, is a result of your behavior in the other wrestling federation we were in. The beating you get from me in this match is your fault and it is due payment for what you did to me back then. Enjoy!
Bill indicates he’s done with his comments and he turns the camera time over to Bea.
BEA LAYS EVERYTHING OUT FOR MELISSA
Bea: Hi Melissa! Are you enjoying the fact that the reason you’re involved in this match is because Goth was a mean and abusive jerk to Bill in a previous wrestling federation? Are you happy that Goth’s previous actions has caused you to be in the line of fire? Let me lay out some stuff for your enlightenment. Since Bill already went over the height and weight comparison between himself and Goth so I now present to the viewers our height and weight comparison. I come into our match at 5 feet 5 inches and 130 pounds while you come in at 5 feet 9 inches and 130 pounds. The only difference we have is the height. But, Melissa, at 130 pounds and at 5 feet 9 inches you present along the line of Olive Oyl from the Popeye cartoons.
Bea laughs.
Bea: Now, Melissa, I’m sure you must be familiar with anesthesia. When people undergo an operation the medical team usually used a general anesthesia, such as Midazolam or some other general Anesthesia, which puts the patient into a deep sleep and the anesthesia blocks the pain receptors of the patient so they don’t feel pain during the surgery. Oh how you’ll wish you were under general anesthesia when I beat the crap out of you during our match. I know what you’re thinking Melissa. You’re thinking that will not be an issue during our match because you have the option of tagging Goth into the match when the beating I’m giving you gets to be too much for you to handle. Although that is one of the legal options in a Mixed Tag Team match it doesn’t mean that Goth will want to tag back into the match so that Bill can continue beating down and destroying him.
Goth is likely to refuse to grant you request to tag out of the match and he may just let you to take the beating and lose the match to me so he can protect himself from injury and claim YOU lost the match to us instead of him. If that happens I’m sure you’ll probably decide to go from engaged to Goth to turning down the engagement and freeing yourself from a tag team partner who refused to assist you during our match.
Bea burst out in loud laughter.
Bea: Let me present another item that needs to be discussed. It’s a thing called attitude. Some people have attitudes because they’re the greatest in their field of work, or in the sport they are in, or they carry a Genius level IQ which is usually listed at an IQ of 130 or higher. For your enlightenment, Melissa, let me run down some reasons me and Bill have justified attitudes. Bill has an attitude when it comes to wrestling because of what Goth did you him in that other wrestling federation. I have an attitude here in Sin City Wrestling because of all the backstabbing assholes in the Federation who falsely accused me of doing something I never did. Also, Melissa, Bill Carries an IQ of 130 which is Genius level and in the top five percent in the world. I’m listed with an IQ of 120 which is only one step down from Genius level. Bill is also working with me and he is working on perfecting other moves and holds for me to use in matches. Remember Bill’s version of the Camel Clutch? Yes, Melissa, Bill has trained me for weeks on that move and I would love to make your skinny Olive Oyl ass submit to me when I lock that hold on you!
Bea gives a stern look into the camera.
Bea: Another reason me and Bill have an attitude is that the drivers in our area of Atlanta, Georgia, are becoming more reckless and stupid and that makes us generate more attitude. I’m talking about other drivers running red lights, tailgating the car in front of them, reckless changing of lanes, and other stupid maneuvers. Recently we got into Bill’s Hyundai Santa Fe and took a drive to Lilburn, Georgia, which is the next town West of Lawrenceville. We were driving on Lawrenceville Highway which is U.S. Highway 29 here in the State of Georgia. Lawrenceville Highway has two lanes in each direction. Bill is driving and I’m in the passenger seat. We were in the left lane of the two lanes going toward Lilburn. We nearly got hit when the stupid driver in the lane to our right swerves to the left into our lane. Both of us had to slam on our brakes to avoid an accident. Both of us came to a stop in the middle of the Westbound lanes of Lawrenceville Highway. So here we are stopped in the middle of Lawrenceville Highway, with traffic backing up behind us, and both of us got out of our vehicles. And, Melissa, in the same manner that Goth refused to apologize to Bill back in that other wrestling federation so the two persons in the car that swerved into our lane and nearly hit us refused to apologize and tried to blame us for the near accident even though he was the one who served into our lane. Want to know what we yelled at them? Okay so you don’t want to hear what we told the reckless driver but you’re going to hear it anyway! The reason we went off on this driver is that we all got out of our vehicles and this driver was being threatening to us and telling us he was going to hurt us. Bill yelled at the reckless driver: HEY! IF YOU’RE SO FRIGGIN’ STUPID THAT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FRIGGIN’ DRIVE THEN STOP YOUR CAR, HAND OVER YOUR KEYS, SURRENDER YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE, AND TAKE UBER!!! And, NO, Melissa, I didn’t make additional comments to the other driver at that time because I was laughing so hard at what Bill said to the other driver, and when the other driver and his passenger got scared and got in their car and drove off, that I couldn’t stop laughing. So, Melissa, when you and Goth turn out to be so damn stupid you don’t know how to wrestle me and Bill are going to tell you to turn in your wrestling license, surrender your wrestling attire, and go into retirement!
Bea begins laughing so hard that Bill slides over next to her and helps Bea overcome her laughing fit. Once Bea stops laughing both Bill and Bea announce they’re going to make joint closing comments concerning their upcoming match,
CLOSING COMMENTS
Bill: Got your laughter under control now Bea?
Bea: Yeah I think so. I’ll be fine.
Bill: As with the crazy reckless driver so it is with crazy reckless wrestlers like Goth and Melissa. There’s a saying that states that some people have a screw loose meaning they’re not 100 percent there mentally, Goth. . .Melissa. . .while some people have screws loose. . .you two have screws missing.
Bea: Ha ha ha!!! Now you got me laughing again! HA HA HA!!!
Bill: Laugh all you want now if you wish. For damn sure after we soundly defeat Goth and Melissa both of us will be laughing all the way into the year 2023.
Bea: I’m sure you two are familiar with the song SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN so I’d like to give you a few verses of my version of the song as we transition into the closing for our comments today for our match for Climax Control 350.
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not shout
I’m telling you why
The Barnhart’s are coming to town
They’re making a list
And checking it twice
They know Goth and Melissa aren’t nice
The Barnhart’s are coming to town
They know when you are sleeping
They know when you’re awake
They know you two are idiots
And they know you two are fakes
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not shout
I’m telling you why
The Barnhart’s are coming to town
The Barnhart’s are coming to town!!!
Bill: Well done Bea! I had no idea you were going to do a parody song of SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN.
Bea: Thanks Bill. It was one of my Christmas Gifts for you this year.
Bill: Bea I want you to comment first on our final closing comments.
Bea: Thanks Bill. Melissa your fate is in my hands. I’m going to make sure when Bill and Goth are in the ring that Goth won’t get the chance to tag you into the match so he won’t take the loss against Bill. However if you do manage to get tagged into the match then I’ll make sure you won’t get the opportunity to tag Goth into the match to save you from taking the loss to me.
Bill: Goth my game plan is the same as Bea’s. I’m in this match to make sure that when Bea and Melissa are in the ring that Melissa won’t get the chance to tag you into the match to save her from taking the loss to Bea. But if by some miracle Melissa manages to get you legally tagged into the match I’ll make damn sure you’ll not have the opportunity to tag Melissa into the match to save you from taking the loss to me.
Bea: I want to win because I want to win. But Bill you need to put the final touches on our comments by explaining why your destruction of Goth needs to be a reality in the way your destruction of your half-brother Chris Shipman put an end to that chapter of your life.
Bill: As with my half-brother Chris Shipman so it is with you Goth. You know what I went through with Shipman. You know how he physically and emotional abused me and my family including Iris. You know that Chris Shipman vowed to kill me no matter what. But, Goth, that was many years ago. So where is Chris Shipman now? Once I put the final touches on his demise nobody has seen or heard from him. Nobody knows if he went off to another wrestling federation, or he went into hiding, or if he’s still alive. Yet even after all his threats to me I’m still alive and well and still kicking ass! Want to know something Goth? I don’t care if Shipman is in another part of the world, in another wrestling federation, or if he’s already dead and buried! The bottom line is that I destroyed Shipman, and I destroyed Satan, and you’re the next person I’ll destroy and put out of action and possibly into retirement. However I’m also likely to drive you into an Insane Asylum. I’m in this match to put you out of existence, out of my life, and out of the view of the fans! See you two at Climax Control 350 where you wrestle in my original home area, the San Francisco Bay Area, as I was born in Oakland, grew up in Oakland, and we only moved from Oakland, California, to the State of Georgia in 2012. This event is in my home area, where I was born and grew up, and I’ll take pride, and have total satisfaction, in destroying you in my original home town area!
Bea: I want to remind you of your closing comments for your match to defend the Roulette Championship against Goth at Inception VI in January 2023.
Bill: To be honest Goth may not be in a working physical condition after I destroy him at Climax Control 350 so if he can’t make it to our scheduled match at Inception VI then I would be defending the Roulette Championship against someone else. So here are my final final comments for today. I was saving the best for my last comments. Goth I’ve been an amazing Roulette Champion and this is my second reign as Roulette Champion. I have no desire to give up possession of the Roulette Championship until I’m ready to do so. Considering how badly I’m going to beat you down in our Mixed Tag Team match this Sunday I’m sure that even with you having several weeks to recover from the damage I inflict on you this Sunday at Climax Control 350 when inception VI comes around you’ll still be damaged goods and I’ll walk away from Inception VI as the still reigning Roulette Champion!
Bea informs the camera person they are done with their presentation and they ask the camera person to cut the video feed. The camera person calls into the Network to get permission to cut the video feed and they give them permission to do so. Initially our screen goes dark but then the Network returns to regularly scheduled programming for this time.
