THE BOMBSHELL INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP WILL BE MINE
Narrator: Bea Barnhart has put up with a lot of insults, false accusations, and stupidity, from the rest of the Roster. Now, at Climax Control 337, Bea is in a multi-wrestler match to determine who the next Bombshell Internet Champion will be. I don’t even need to mention this, but I will anyway, that Bea is leaving this match as the newly crowned Bombshell Internet Champion.
RECKLESS DRIVERS, STUPID PEOPLE, AND A KAREN ALSO
The scene changes to a video of incidents Bea Barnhart has had to endure recently. These incidents happened in Lawrenceville, Georgia, and the Network is presenting these videos to show you what Bea has to put up with all the time. We see Bea driving in her Hyundai Palisade to go shopping at Kroger and Wal-Mart near her home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. We watch as Bea isn’t even out of their housing development when a reckless driver nearly hits her car. She flips off the ignorant driver then she continues to Herrington Road to go into Kroger. Again there is a reckless driver that cuts her off while she is trying to turn into a parking spot. Bea goes inside Kroger and shortly she exits Kroger so she can to go Wal-Mart to pick up some items that Kroger doesn’t have.
Bea: So damn many reckless and inconsiderate drivers recently in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Reminds me of the other wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who are reckless, inconsiderate, and accusing.
Bea arrives at Wal-Mart where she parks and goes inside. The camera person follows her as she shops for the items she needs. As Bea goes to the self checkout lane the woman in front of her obviously doesn’t know what the hell she is doing. This reminds Bea of the majority of wrestlers in Sin City Wrestling who also don’t know what the hell they’re doing. The woman at the register keeps inserting various credit cards and ATM cards and all of them are being declined. This is apparently due to her not having money in those accounts or, if she’s using an ATM card, she is entering the wrong PIN number.
Bea: Excuse me! If you are having issues with your credit cards and ATM cards at the self checkout could you please take your items over to the regular checkout lanes to allow the Wal-Mart employees to properly process your purchases. I need you to move so I can get my purchases home and put away.
The Woman We Will Call Karen: What? You don’t tell me what to do! You’re an Asian and I don’t take crap from Asians! What the hell do you know compared to a White woman like me?
Bea: *yelling out loudly so everyone in the store can hear* News flash! We have a KAREN at Wal-Mart who is stupid on how to properly use the self-checkout machine and she’s also racist against Asians. Nice going Karen!
The Woman We Will Call Karen: How do you know my name is Karen?
Bea: Oh. . .just a lucky guess. . .Now either move your items to a regular checkout lane to get a Wal-Mart employee to help you check out or I’ll forcibly move you!
The woman, Karen, hails a Wal-Mart person who takes all her items to their register where they still can’t get the items paid for since this Karen has no money in all her financial accounts. Bea quickly scans her items then brushes past the Karen to leave the store and go home ensuring she flashes Karen a sarcastic grin of satisfaction her way out of the store. This infuriates Karen where she starts hurling insults and racist comments against Asians again to which Bea politely replies with a middle-finger salute. Bea gets to her Hyundai Palisade and take off to drive home.
Bea: Too damn many ignorant, insulting, and racist, people in the world. Glad I was able to leave that Karen in Wal-Mart to deal with her stupidity. Damn! She’s probably so damn stupid that she forgets to wipe after she take a crap.
Bea arrives home and the camera person gets out of her car and they cut their camera feed.
AT THE HOTEL IN JAIPURI, INDIA
The scene shifts to the hotel in Jaipuri, India, where Bea and Bill are staying for Climax Control 337. The hotel is not far from the Sawai Mansingh Indoor Stadium where Bea will participate in a six wrestler match to determine who the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion will be. Bill and Bea are sitting at a small dining table near the kitchen area. Bea has her laptop computer on and she and Bill are doing something but we don’t know what they are doing yet.
VIDEO CALL WITH IRIS
Bea: Hi and welcome to our hotel room in Jaipuri, India. I’m getting ready to defeat five pathetic opponents to become the next Bombshell Internet Champion but first we’re going to have a video call with Iris to see how she’s doing with boarding at Camp Bow Wow. Although Iris is in boarding at Camp Bow Wow in Lawrenceville, Georgia, I made arrangements with the Manager, Edwin, to allow Iris to conduct a video call with us. There’s Iris on the computer video call now! HI IRIS!
Bill: Hi Iris! How’s my baby girl?
Iris doesn’t appear happy to see Daddy Bill and Mommy Bea. This is probably due to her not liking having to be in boarding at Camp Bow Wow rather than being at their home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. Iris gives a grumpy look and sad eyes as she lets out a snort of complaint.
Bea: I’m sorry we had to put you in Camp Bow Wow for boarding while we’re participating in wrestling events in India. We couldn’t risk you getting harmed on the trip so at least we know you’re safe and loved there at Camp Bow Wow.
Bill: Come on Iris. Give a smile to Daddy.
Iris is grumpy, which is understandable, but when she turns her back to the camera and sulks it breaks the hearts of Bill and Bea.
Bill: We’ll be home soon and then you’ll be back home in your own bedroom. Until then enjoy being spoiled by the staff at Camp Bow Wow.
Bea: Iris you know the television show CHEERS where, that when Norm walks into the bar, everyone yells out NORM!!! right? Remember, Iris, that every time you enter Camp Bow Wow all the Counselors in the room stand up and yell out IRIS!!! so that proves you’re loved. I know you miss us, and we miss you, but we can still give each other a virtual kiss since we’re on a video call. Come on Iris! Give Mommy and Daddy a kiss!
Iris turns around facing the camera and she licks the camera and the image we see on Bea’s laptop computer is totally blurred due to Iris slobbering on the camera.
Bea: Thanks for the virtual kiss Iris! We love you! Bye!
Bea ends the video call with Iris. Bill leaves the table to go on the couch while Bea moves moves the laptop computer to the side of the table then she takes a position where the camera person can get a good shot of her as she comments on her upcoming match. Bill didn’t want to get in the way of Bea’s presentation for her match.
TIME TO ADDRESS MY OPPONENTS
Bea: Now comes the time when I get to talk to my five opponents. We’re in a six wrestler match to determine who becomes the next Sin City Wrestling Bombshell Internet Champion. We all know that person will be me. But I guess I still have to explain that to my five opponents as I don’t believe their mental comprehension skills are working at higher than a moron level. To be fair to my opponents I’ll address them alphabetically, by their first name, so that nobody thinks they’re more special than the others because they were mentioned before the others were mentioned. Once again you’ll find me to be direct and honest in my comments.
Bea holds one finger up.
Bea: Ariana I start with you because your first name starts with A. We have no history against each other in the ring. Both of us are coming into this match not having experience against the other. However before you get an attitude and think I’m easy to eliminate from this match let me tell you what you’re in for. The way to eliminate an opponent from the match is to toss them out of the ring where both their feet touch the floor. It will be easy to eliminate you as you will find out.
Bea holds two fingers up.
Bea: Next I come to Kayla Richards. From what I’ve seen of you I’ve come to the conclusion that you are a pathetic piece of crap wrestler who has to resort to underhanded and sneaky attacks on other wrestlers to try to inflict damage on them. It seems extremely pathetic that you have to resort to that crap because you don’t have the wrestling abilities to back up what your mouth is saying. Don’t worry Kayla as I’ll eliminate you quickly in this match so you won’t have to endure the humiliation of the fans taunting you over your pathetic wrestling during the match. Of course for weeks after our match the fans will continue to taunt you for your pathetic performance in our match.
Bea holds three fingers up.
Bea: Now to you Keira. I know you have a somewhat impressive record here in Sin City Wrestling. I also know that somehow you’ve managed to avoid having a match against me. I wonder how that happened Keira. Did you run to Management and tell them you are afraid to wrestle against me? Did you pay them bribe money to keep them from assigning you to a match with me? I don’t have the answers to those questions as only you can answer them. When you step into the ring at Climax Control 337 and I eliminate you then all your questions will be answered.
Bea holds four fingers up.
Bea: Now I come to the only wrestler in our match that I have respect for and that is Seleana Zdunich. Seleana you may be asking yourself why I respect you and that’s a good question. The reason is that I’ve had three matches with you and you defeated me in two of those matches. In the third match you pinned someone else for the win in a multi-wrestler match. I admire your work in the ring. I admire what you’ve accomplished. Of my five opponents in our match you’re the one I want most to eliminate to prove I am what I claim I am. It is a pleasure and honor to face you again.
Bea holds five fingers up.
Bea: Now I finish up talking to Tempest. You’re not last in my comments due to me thinking poorly of you so don’t go there. I stated up front that I was addressing my five opponents by where their first names land alphabetically. So, Tempest, we had one match, which was a Mixed Tag Team Championship match, and your team got the win when you pinned me. That was well over a year ago so if you think I’m the same wrestler I was back then you’re only deceiving yourself. I’ve come a long way and I have no problem tossing you out of the ring and ensuring both your feet touch the floor so you get eliminated.
Bea claps her hands then gives a stern look into the camera as she continues with her comments.
CLOSING COMMENTS
Bea: Having five opponents in this match is interesting and fun. You simply cannot focus on just one wrestler while ignoring the others. If you do that you end up failing to eliminate the wrestler you are trying to eliminate but at the same time you can have someone come up and eliminate you. It’s an interesting situation where you have to be focused on the wrestler in front of you and the other wrestlers who are behind you or next to you. I’ve discussed this match with Bill and he’s been working with me to ensure I have great ring presence, that I don’t allow myself to be ganged up on by the other wrestlers, and that I quickly eliminate my opponents by sending them to the arena floor where both their feet touch the floor for the elimination.
Bea raises her arms into the air in a victory pose.
Bea: I have every intention of winning this match and being crowned the Bombshell Internet Champion. I have five opponents who have the same intention so this match is going to be a combination of fast, furious, hard-hitting, aggressive, and punishing. The bottom line is who the last wrestler standing is in the ring when the other five wrestlers have been eliminated. That last wrestler standing in the ring will be ME so get used to calling me Bea Barnhart. . .Sin City Wrestling’s Bombshell Internet Champion!
Bea laughs loudly.
Bea: With six wrestlers involved in our match that gives each wrestler a 16.6 percent chance of winning. When one is eliminated and I’m left with four opponents each of us then has a 20 percent chance of winning. When me and three others wrestlers are remaining that gives each of us a 25 percent chance of winning. Then when it comes down to me and two other wrestlers we each have a 33.3 percent chance of winning. And then, when it comes down to me and one other wrestler we each have a 50 percent chance of winning the match. Ha ha ha!!! Who are they kidding? If my five opponents feel they have anywhere from 16.6 percent to 50 percent chance of winning they are deceived. From the instant the Timekeeper rings the bell to officially start our match I have 100 percent chance of winning!
Bea gain bursts out in loud laughter.
Bea: I feel it is great that the other opponnets in my match are taking me lightly. After I win the Internet Championship they will all be taking me seriously and demanding a shot at my Internet Championship!
Bea tells the camera person she is done with her comments and they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.
