It was a cold and dreary evening as the taxi cab pulled up outside a non-discript bar in an unknown area, which was unusual for this time of year, but the cold bite in the air forced people to huddle up. I'd sent an anonymous letter to three people, asking me to be here at this time, I had no clue if any of them would show up, but Max Burke clearly did as he stepped out of the taxi and looked around, his eyes darting towards the neon sign above the bar, softly buzzing in the night air. Confirming he had the right place, Max quickly moved in to the bar, looking around for any sign of life or familiar face. Max didn't even make it to the bar before a hand crept on to his well built shoulder, causing his head to turn around. The hand belonged to non other the Aron Baltasarsson, standing next to his brother Fenris.
"Max." Aron said with a cheer in his tone. "I'm guessing you got the same message as us."
Max looked at Aron, and towards Fenris, The White Wolf's eyes covered by dark sunglasses.
"Yeah, who's behind it?" Max asked.
Puzzled looks appeared quickly on Fenris and Aron's faces, but before anyone can speculate even further, a member of staff moved towards them,
"I'm guessing you guys are here to meet the gentleman who rented out the private room." He said in a gruff voice.
"What the fuck makes you think that?" Fenris barked back at the man.
"He said it was for three male wrestlers and himself and you guys look like wrestlers." The man replied. "Well, the most likely wrestlers in this crowd."
Max looked around the bar, seeing two middle aged women at a table and an older man at the bar, drinking shots in between putting the world to right within a conversation with the barman. Max couldn't help but agree internally that they were the most likely to be wrestlers.
"Follow me." the staff member said as his arm flung wildly towards a side door.
He quickly lead them across the empty bar towards the door and flung it open.
"The bar is fully stocked." He said "It's a self service, so help yourself, your host has already paid generously for the room so there will be no tab. The pool table is free to use and there's a jukebox on the wall."
"When is our host getting here?" Fenris asked with some bite to his voice.
"Should be here soon." The member of staff replied. "Until then, help yourselves to the drinks and make yourself comfortable. I'll be back in from time to time to pick up glasses."
The man leaves as the trio enter the room.
"Big room for four of us." Aron commented.
"Is it?" Fenris asked
Max couldn't help but smile as he knew Fenris' vision was still a little off from the perfume in the eyes incident, but quickly made his way to the bar. It wasn't long before he found what he was looking for, the best bottle of whiskey he could find, along with four glasses before making his way to the table that Aron had guided Fenris too.
"So who do you think it is?" Fenris asked.
"Well, it could only be one person." Max replied.
"And you're probably right Max." I said as I stood at the doorway. "I mean who else was in gonna be?"
The three quickly looked towards the door to see me standing there.
"Who is it?" Fenris asked.
"Who'd ya bloody think it is with a voice like this?" I replied with a smile. "The Queen of England?"
"Ben!" Aron called out with excitement as I made my way to the table. "It's good to see ya."
"Some of us still can't see me." I said with a grin as I put my hand on Fenris' shoulder and took a seat.
Max wasted no time in opening the whiskey and pouring out glasses in front of us.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Fenris snapped. "No one's heard from you, no tweets, nothing, just gone black."
It was hard for me to know where to start with this question. I had abandoned everyone and everything lately, I had not been seen in a long time, frankly, I screwed up everything.
"Well, that's why I got you three here." I started, trying to keep my voice together. "I needed to say sorry"
"For what?" Max asked with a raised eyebrow to match his raised glass.
"I let all of you down." I said with a lump forming in my throat. "Everyone of you at this table, a few not at this table and a ton of fans, I let you all down."
"How do you work that out?" Aron asked.
"Because I just went home and stayed there, when I had big plans." I told them. "When I had Mac Bane bang on about me seven months ago, I came back, he drew me back and lit a fire under me and when nothing happened there other then a tag match, it put that fire out. It took away motivation, it took away so much of me. I had these plans, get after Mac, get after The Saviors."
"The Saviors were a fucking joke." Fenris said cutting me off. "They imploded before they could even do anything."
"I guess, but that was just gonna be the start." I said. "I wanted to make us the next Hall of Fame worthy group, I wanted Ben, Max and Fenris to strike fear in to the hearts of the men's division, I wanted Aron to manage us and that's a big get as he won manager of the year, and I even wanted Myra Rivers in our little band to be the biggest face group since the Seven Deadly Sins, but my fire goes out, Myra goes missing in action, you Fenris, you almost ended up with a guide dog, Aron hasn't had a lot to do. The only one who's been flying that flag has been Max. If I didn't go like that, then I coulda stopped Myra from being missing in action and get that dream of the Bombshell title, I coulda stopped you getting sprayed in the eyes, I coulda helped Max become World champion, I coulda done something special that made people sit and look at us as hero figures that they can get behind. There are no people like that anymore. I screwed it up for all of us."
There was an awkward silence that filled the room.
"So for screwing up, I'm sorry." I said as I looked around the table. "If I was mentally there, I woulda done everything I could to get this off the ground and I woulda done it."
"They might call you saint Ben." Fenris started. "But you can not perform miracles. You couldn't have stopped at least half of that, so you don't need to have a pity party."
"Mate, if I was mentally there, I coulda done a lot more then I did." I told Fenris. "But I wasn't mentally there."
"How so?" Max asked.
I sighed deeply, knowing it was time to be honest with them.
"Frankly Max." I started. "All that time in Greece doing the public relations stuff, I wasn't all there in the head. I was using the place as an excuse to get smashed out of my nut to turn down the voices in my head telling me that my return run has been as flat as a witches tit. I came back with the fanfare and I did bugger all to back it up. At that point, I was mentally checked out. I didn't give a monkeys if I didn't wake up the next day, hell, some days I'm shocked I did with the amount of cheap booze I stuck down my neck. I got to the point where I didn't know who I was."
I had to take a deep breath at that point.
"I felt like I was two different people." I told them. "I felt like I had two different faces. I had the face where I was all smiles and sunshine around people to try and get them to our shows, but when I was on my own, I didn't know who I was. It's why when I went home, I zoned out completely."
"We all feel like that at some point." Aron said in a sympathetic tone.
"This was different." I told him. "I don't even know where I've been. I don't know if I was at the house in Maine, New York or Jersey. I really don't. I switched off completely. I sat in a room on my own, I never left the house, where ever I was. I was just sitting there, my mind was blank for the most part of it. I kept hearing those voices telling me I was a failure, that I was a let down, so I sat there and drunk them all away."
"Where was Evie when this was happening?" Fenris asked.
"A good question I wish I could answer." I said. "But she has her other interests outside of me. She's in to fashion and property, she has a life of her own. She is not dependant on me and as a grown arse adult, I'm not dependant on her. I don't know where she was, could have been Rome, could have been Paris, I didn't even know where I was, but I probably flashed that fake smile of mine and said I was fine, she had no reason not to trust me."
"How did you even take care of yourself?" Aron quickly asked.
"I didn't." I admitted. "I didn't eat for days, just nothing but alcohol. I even got in a dog walker to walk Bear three times a day. I was lucid enough to feed him, but not me. you've heard the term out of body experience, well, that was me. I was basically there physically but not mentally. My body was sitting wide eyed in a chair in a dark room but feel like I completely detached from myself and I wasn't there. I couldn't get myself together no matter how much I tried. I went days without even showering."
Fenris takes a deep breath.
"You sure you've showed now?" He asked. "Cause there's a funky smell coming from your direction."
"How'd you know what direction I'm in Stevie?" I asked with a smile. "Unless those lack of eyes have given you a better sense of smell, you wouldn't be able to tell."
Fenris grits his teeth.
"How did you snap out of it?" Max asked.
"I don't know." I replied. "I slept for a change, and woke up and the voices had changed a bit. They told me that you're never too late to make amends for things, that you can still change your life, change your destiny. I'm not as good as I used to be, I'm not as quick as I once was, I'm not as sharp as I would like to be, but I can get back there. I can be a guy who jumps up and gets that big prize again. I can be that guy to super glue everything back together. I'm not saying that I'm fixed cause this stuff can tend to drag on, but I have a new motivation, it's why I called Christian."
"You called him?" Max questions.
I nodded towards Max.
"I did." I replied. "I knew that if I didn't shake it off, if I didn't get back to some type of normality, to some type of regular routine, then that booze would turn to pills to get me to stop hearing the voices, that would turn me on to harder stuff and I wouldn't see another year, I'd be lucky to see the next three months. I sat there and when those voices changed, telling me I could do better, they were encouraging and not filled with spite, I knew I had to turn things around, I felt I could get my arse in good shape physically and mentally, so I called him and said if he needed it, my head was back in the game and I could do the work and that's why I'm facing Agostino Romano."
"Pft!" Was the sound coming through Fenris' lips. "Could have given you more of a challenge."
"This is a challenge for me." I said to Fenris. "The guy is different, the guy is someone I've not had to deal with in the past, the guy is unpredictable at times. He interests me, because he's in this game for the pure love of it, for the love of wrestling. He never needed it, he was set up for life from his past, he never needed this, he wanted it. He reminds me of me. I was set for life, I never needed wrestling, but I wanted it. He's not this guy coming out of another combat sport, or generational wrestler, he's a guy who does it for the love of it. I like people like that, so yeah, it's a challenge to me."
"Plus a week on a cruise ship is always a good place to be." Max commented as he raised his glass towards me.
"I can't complain." I said to Max. "Besides, it gives me time to connect again with the fans and feel like myself at the same time. I always did like this show, something magical about these cruises. I know you need to be on all the time, cause ya basically within two feet of fans everywhere you go, but most of them are respectful enough to just enjoy being around wrestlers rather then hassle them all the time."
"Yeah, they're good." Aron added. "But are you sure you're ready to do this?"
I nodded at him, knowing he was concerned about me.
"Yeah." I replied quickly. "I feel good and the road to redeeming myself has to start somewhere. It might as well be here. It's a decent opponent, it's a week away, some old faces we haven't seen in a while, all sounds like a good idea to kick things off the right way."
"Right." Fenris said. "A pool table was mentioned."
"How the bloody hell can you play pool when ya eyes are that messed up?" I asked with a confused look on my face.
"I'm not completely fucked you know." Fenris barked back. "I can see enough to beat you."
"Well, someone sort them balls out, play doubles, me and Max against you two." I said. "But I'm gonna play some music."
The four of us stood up and I headed towards the jukebox as the others moved towards the pool table. A few presses of the interactive jukebox screen later and Superstition by Stevie Wonder starts to fill the room.
"Very fucking funny!" Fenris shouts out above the music.
The rest of the night flew by with jovial banter, many drinks, games of pool and as expected, many jokes from Ben about Fenris and his vision, or in this case, lack of vision.
The screen fades in to myself sitting inside a small football, soccer to you American's, stadium. The camera moves around my face as I sit there and look at the pitch, before focusing on my face.
"Alright people." I start with my opening line that's expected of me. "What a lovely place to be sitting to have a chat with you good people."
The sun was shining down on me, much better weather then the other night in the bar with the lads, put it that way.
"So the Cockney King returns to the ring once more as he looks to start putting things right." I say with a smile. "Yet here the dopey git is sitting in a footy ground and gonna try and link it all to putting things right, cause you know, that's what this whole thing is about for me, putting things right. What can this Cockney lad be thinking?"
I look at the camera as it pans down to my shirt, showing that I am wearing an England football shirt as I am speaking. I wait for a few seconds as it returns to my face.
"I think this might make a little bit more sense now." I say with a slight wink. "Redeeming something has to start somewhere, and some of the greatest comebacks of all time start with a little bit of redemption and here I am, an Englishman, sitting in a footy ground, wearing an England shirt, talking about his Italian opponent.... Get it now?"
I got the feeling some might not.
"For you good people who don't know what I'm going on about, in 2021, a football tournament, Euro 2020, yes, I know, thanks for that one Covid, took place and after battle after battle, there were two teams left standing, there was the English, who took the Mickey and turned over Germany, Ukraine and Denmark, till there was just one team in our way, and those were the lads from Italy. The stage was set, Football was coming home but that just wasn't to be as Peroni was thrown in the air in Italy, while us English cried in to our pints of John Smith's. The Italians, through a couple of questionable things, had broken English hearts and this is what this match sort of feels like to me Agostino. It feels like I've battled back from a lot in my life to be here. Like the football team, I've had heart breaks of stuff that feel like getting knocked out in the semi finals of a couple of World Cups, I have had the heart breaks of set backs of watching us lose to the likes of Hungary and Iceland, I've felt that disappointment and bounced back." I say in a serious tone.
Are we all following along? Good.
"Now there may not be a shiny trophy to lift at the end of this match Agostino." I say with a slight nod. "But there is more to it then that, there's pride on the line, there's redemption, there's a little revenge for last years football on the line for me. I've seen my country fail against an Italian opponent before and I won't be the next one to do so. I won't be the next to have my name remembered by being beaten by Italian nationals in a competitive sport. I gotta push myself and use that heartbreak as motivation to get through this match. I want people to sit there and say we might not have beaten them at football, but we have beaten them in the wrestling ring."
It was good solid motivation.
"That will help me kick on Agostino." I say with a smile. "Because I need that, I need to kick on and be who I was meant to be, I need to show myself as who I want to be, not the let down I've become, I want to show myself as the guy that people look up to, and respect, the guy that people from back home can be proud of and I'm sure you want the same thing mate."
I didn't know for sure if he did, but we are alike.
"I made the comment to the lads the other night over a glass of whiskey about how alike we really are." I say as I recall the conversation with Max, Aron and Fenris. "Our paths in to wrestling are alike but different. Neither of us came from wrestling backgrounds, you are a champion elsewhere and never needed to put your body on the line anymore, you've had that part of your life. I was a geezer that stumbled in to money and nothing more then that, I had enough to live forever without having to lift a finger. I coulda been a gold diggers dream. I never needed to put my body on the line, but I did it. We were both humble people, we never had the rubbish upbringing or the painful stuff that drove us here, but we got here like the tough guys, cowboys and evil characters out there. We both have as much drive as them to be the champion, maybe more so because we needed to prove to these legit tough guys that we can hang with them. We're alike in that way, so that makes me think, just like be, you want to be a role model to your people, you want to be looked at through smiling eyes, I want that too mate, the problem is, one of us are gonna take a dent in a couple of weeks, one of our stocks gonna go down."
Mines been low as it is lately.
"And I can't let that be me." I say with a serious tone. "You've seen I've come back and not looked the greatest and I need to change that Agostino. I need to change it from Summer XXXTreme X, I need to start getting back to the old me and back to winning ways, I need to start becoming the person I know I am and you're gonna play a big role in that because as God is my witness mate, from now till that bell rings, I'm gonna be working my Jacobs off to be the best me I can be. I am gonna do everything physically possible to make sure I'm the sharpest I've been in a long time because you deserve nothing less then the best Ben Jordan there is out there. You deserve to face the best version of me and that is exactly the me you're gonna face. There's no ifs or buts about it. You're gonna face the best version of me out there."
I felt determined to give Agostino that best version of me.
"I'm not coming back in to that ring to mess about, that would be a disservice to you." I say firmly. "You're gonna get all I can offer and if you can beat that, then my hat is off to you mate, but I got a lot riding on this one, a lot more then people know, a lot more then people see. I got my future riding on this one, I got the pride of a nation sitting on my back, I got more then enough motivation to show you and the rest of the locker room, and the world that I'm Ben Jordan and I ain't done yet, not by a long shot my old mucker."
I knew I had more in me and I really believed Agostino was the perfect opponent to bring it all out of me.
"I'm more ready for this then most people ever thought I could be, but the hard work is not stopping till I've got my hand raised." I say with a lot of determination in my voice. "I can't let that doubt creep in and my way to stop that is to sit there and know that my redemption starts a week on Sunday, my redemption continues in that ring a week on Sunday and I won't stop looking for it until I get back to where I feel deep down I actually belong."
I could feel the passion running through me.
"Can't stop, won't stop, will push us both to the limits Agostino and I am more then determined to make sure that this time, English eyes are smiling, people are back home watching me singing Three Lions, proud of this Englishman, proud of what I've done in the ring." I say with a prideful smile. "I can already hear them singing One Ben Jordan in my mind, I can already feel their energy and I haven't even got in the ring yet. I can hear them screaming and counting the three count. I can hear them Agostino, I can hear them yelling Eng-ger-land, no Forza Italia, none of that malarky, oh no. This is the comeback they've all been waiting for."
I can't let them down.
"There's gonna be differences from that final." I say as I reference the Euro's again. "There's gonna be no dodgy tackles, there's gonna be no pulling a player back when he's about to go one on one and getting away with it, there's gonna be no penalty shoot out, and more importantly, what there is gonna be is an England win, because this time Agostino, it's coming home!"
I listen as on cue, the intro to Three Lions starts to play with the words it's coming home repeated. I couldn't help but smile.
"Magic eh?" I say with a big grin. "Anyway, it's time to say arrivederci for now Agostino, but there's much more to come from me next week. Until then...."
I wink at the camera.
"Laters people!"
And with that, the sound of Three Lions gets louder as the camera gets my ugly mug off the screen and fades to black.
