Author Topic: World Bombshell Championship: Roxi Johnson (c) v Myra Rivers  (Read 2158 times)

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Post all roleplays for this match here.
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Offline Roxi Johnson

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Re: World Bombshell Championship: Roxi Johnson (c) v Myra Rivers
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2022, 04:49:16 PM »
{The scene opens at a fan signing for Team Hero. Roxi and Keira are there, signing autographs and taking pictures with many fans, seemingly enjoying themselves. They also enjoy a lot of conversations with fans about various topics, receiving gifts and even some crying fans, and some requests to join the Team Hero Academy gym. There’s a montage of this, and then a little bit of a break in the action as the line dies down. Keira leans back in her chair and sighs, shaking out her hand.}

 

Keira – My hand is going to cramp up from all these signings.

 

Roxi – Be happy they are coming. 

 

Keira – I am grateful for every fan. Some of them were a little much.

 

Roxi – Well, would you rather have this? Or no fans at all, and we’re just sitting here like that one guy in that meme with the banner requesting five dollars?

 

Keira – He is a “Wrestling superstar” 

 

{Roxi and Keira share a laugh, as the lines start forming again. A larger, male fan walks up with several items. There are pictures, posters, action figures, all of Team Hero, and Roxi and Keira look at each other, and then at the male fan. He is wearing a medical mask as well.}

 

Roxi – I'm sorry, but we’re not signing all these items, 1 or 2 is fine, but you have like 10 things here.

 

Keira – We want everyone to have the time, but this is just too much.

 

Male Fan – What? Please? There are only a couple people behind me! It won’t take long! Honest!

 

{Roxi and Keira both hold firm.}

 

Roxi – I'm sorry. Look we can sign a couple things, if you want a picture, that’s fine but we’re not going to hold up the line for this.

 

Male Fan – I'm... I’m really sorry.

 

{The male fan clumsily grabs all of his items and puts them back in his backpack, aside from two posters, which Roxi and Keira each pulls out markers to sign.}

 

Roxi – Who do these go out to?

 

{The Male fan blinks, and shrugs.}

 

Male Fan – Oh, you don’t have to make them out to anybody, just signing them is good enough.

 

{Roxi and Keira both look at each other based on this odd request, but more than anything want to get this guy away from them, so they just sign the posters, and then he pulls out his phone, while also plopping down his five dollars for a photo.}

 

Male Fan – Wait... could I get a picture with both of you individually? I can pay another five dollars.

 

{Roxi and Keira again look at each other, not really keen on this idea, but at the same time, almost feeling bad for this fan, not wanting to upset him. Also, at the same time feeling very uneasy and pretty much wanting this interaction to be over.}

 

Roxi – Fine, we can do that. I’ll just take this one and then Keira can take the other with you. 

 

Male Fan – That will be so great!

 

{Roxi gets up from her chair, and then attempt to pose with the fan for the photo, except his hugs her from behind, arms wrapping around her waist. It’s very uncomfortable, and Roxi can smell the Male fans Body odor. But, wanting to be polite, Roxi smiles and the photo is taken. Roxi steps away and Keira comes in, except she makes it very clear about the pose.}

 

Keira – Here, let’s just do this.

 

{Keira puts her hand on his his shoulder, getting close enough and he attempts to put his arms around her, but she limits it to one hand around her shoulders. Once the photo is taken, the fan is very happy.}

 

Male Fan – Thank you! Thank you both so much! I’m a big fan!

 

Roxi – Okay, thank you too!

 

{The male fan leaves, soon out of sight as Roxi and Keira look at one another.}

 

Keira – That was creepy.

 

Roxi – He was a little extra.

 

Keira – That wasn’t extra. It was too much. It looked like he was trying to hump you!

 

Roxi – He did.

 

Keira – We don’t need people like that. He comes up here with 10 things for us to sign, and then the pictures? It’s too much.

 

Roxi – I know, I know. Relax, I’m agreeing with you.

 

{The signing goes on for a little while longer, but no fan interaction is any worse than that one fan. Roxi and Keira are wrapping things up, signing the last few autographs for their fans, and the last few pictures. Once that is done, Roxi and Keira begin to break down their setup, until Keira starts looking around, and hearing a noise, faintly in her ear.}

 

Keira – Do you hear that?

 

Roxi – Hear what?

 

Keira – I swear I hear...

 

{Keira starts walk towards some plants, pulling them back to see the Male fan from before, now with the familiar white hoodie and face mask, snapping pictures of Roxi and Keira and taking video. Keira is startled to see him.}

 

Keira – You!

 

{The male fan turns, running as Keira points at him.}

 

Keira – Security!

 

{The security guard sees Keira pointing in the male fan in the white hoodie’s general direction. The security guard begins to try and chase him down, as Keira is upset by this. Roxi looks just as upset, putting her hands on Keira’s shoulders.}

 

Keira – That was the same guy! 

 

Roxi – From the tour.

 

Keira – Yes! The same guy! I... I think he’s stalking us! 

 

Roxi – I don’t know about that.

 

Keira – Roxi, that’s the same guy from the tour. You said it yourself! How much more proof do you need?! 

 

Roxi – Is he an overzealous, creepy fan? Yes. I will grant you all of that. But stalking? I mean, the tour, and this autograph signing were public events. He’s allowed to come to public events. Look, I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

{Keira looks incredulously at Roxi.}

 

Keira – Roxi, are you CRAZY? That guy was taking pictures of us! God only knows what he has on that phone! And you’re DEFENDING HIM?!

 

Roxi – I'm not defending him! I’m saying that he’s not breaking the law. Look, let’s not talk about it now. Let’s get our stuff and get the heck out of here.

 

{Keira sighs and tries to think of something else to say, but she also doesn’t want to continue to talk about this creepy male fan. The two then finish breaking down their booth and then are spotted leaving. They both wave at fans who stuck around, but both are clearly agitated by the day's events. They are about to load their SUV, but Keira begins walking around the car, and checking it.}

 

Roxi – What are you doing?

 

Keira – I'm not taking any chances. What if he put something on the car?

 

Roxi – You think he knows what car we drive?

 

Keira – I wouldn’t put it past him. He’s bad news, Roxi. You know it, I know it. It’s not a coincidence that he showed up here. I’m telling you it’s a problem.

 

Roxi – I think you’re taking this too far. He’s a misguided person. 

 

Keira – He's obsessed. That’s what he is.

 

{Keira continues to look around the outside of the car, checking under the framework of the car, checking the tires, and making sure there is nothing out of the ordinary. She walks up to Roxi and holds out her hand.}

 

Keira – Keys.

 

Roxi – Oh, you want to drive?

 

Keira – No, I want to check the inside.

 

Roxi – Keira, seriously...

 

{Keira stands, unmoving with her hand out, a dead serious look on her face.}

 

Roxi – Fine.

 

{Roxi hands Keira the keys, and she unlocks the car and climbs inside, checking the seats for anything out of the ordinary. Finally, she relents and exits the SUV, opening the trunk and the two load all of them items into the back, before they Roxi takes the wheel and Keira sits in the passenger seat, looking all around, before she looks into her purse.}

 

Roxi – What now?

 

Keira – Checking to see if anything is missing. You should do the same.

 

{Humoring Keira, Roxi checks her purse and finds nothing missing. Keira also doesn’t find anything out of the ordinary or missing.}

 

Roxi – Satisfied?

 

Keira – One second.

 

{Keira begins scanning around the car. Finally, she shakes her head.}

 

Keira – Okay, looks good.

 

Roxi – Are you sure?

 

Keira – No, but we’ll be forever if you want to wait for me to be sure.

 

Roxi – Okay.

 

{Roxi finally starts the car and Keira continues to scan all around looking for the guy in the hoodie.}

 

Keira – Do you think they caught him?

 

Roxi – With any luck.

 

Keira – Yeah. I don’t mean to freak out, but... that was the same guy from the gym, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. 

 

Roxi – Maybe you’re right, but for now... let’s just forget about it, okay?

 

Keira – For now.

 

{The two drive back to their house as the scene fades.}

 




 

{Back home and sometime later, Roxi has finished her drumming for the evening and puts the sticks down and exits her sound-proof room. She walks back up the stairs to the main house and sitting right there is Buster, Nate’s tiny protective Jack Russell, with his leash in his mouth, ready for his nightly walk. Roxi sees this and nods.}

 

Roxi – Ready as always. Hang on, let me put my shoes on.

 

{Roxi slips her shoes on while Keira is washing some dishes and uses a towel to dry her hands as she sees what’s going on.}

 

Keira – Walkies time?

 

Roxi – Every time.

 

Keira – Be careful.

 

Roxi – I think I’ll be okay.

 

Keira – I'm serious! If that...guy is out there...

 

Roxi – What? Why would he be out there? You think he knows where we live or something?

 

Keira – You saw him, he’s obsessed! 

 

Roxi – I will keep an eye out for anything crazy.

 

Keira – I'm being serious. Take your phone. Don’t hesitate to call me if ANYTHING happens.

 

{Roxi holds her hands up, assuring Keira she will adhere to calling her, just so Keira doesn’t keep the issue going. She leashes up Buster and motions for Trixie, Roxi’s main dog to join them, but Trixie just lays there.}

 

Roxi – We're going to have a talk when I get back young lady.

 

{Trixie simply gives an unimpressed half-bark at Roxi, who looks concerned about her older dog. Roxi opens the door and Buster heads out on the leash. Roxi yells back into the open door.}

 

Roxi – Be back in a little bit!

 

{Roxi heads out with Buster and Roxi takes a different path from the normal path they walk, just to keep things different for Buster. He walks forward, leading Roxi, as he causally sniffs at everything he can reach, and then barking at people on the street and other dogs or animals he sees, even attempting to chase after a squirrel he sees, but Roxi stops him from straying too far. They continue to walk for quite a while around the neighborhood and into a park where Nate has played at before, and the same park where they found the injured dog that Nate named Mojo. Buster takes the time to “do his business in the park” that Roxi cleans up and puts in a dumpster. The walk continues until Buster stops, and starts barking at a line of bushes. Roxi stops and waits, looking at the bush, but doesn’t make out anything. Assuming it was perhaps a rat or some other animal, Roxi tugs on the leash and leads Buster forward. 

 

Roxi eventually stops at a bench in the park area, to take a break, but as soon as she sits down, Buster is practically lunging at the bush they passed only moments beforehand. Buster continues to look, and bark, far more aggressively than he did normally outside. Roxi gets up and gives Buster a little slack on the leash, but he does right back to the bush, barking the whole time. Buster crouches, hind end up, his teeth bared and the barking is extremely aggressive, along with growling.  Roxi waits, until finally, a person come from around the line, holding their hands up. Buster is going crazy, ready to attack until Roxi holds out her hand, and Buster, being the trained dog he is, moves towards Roxi’s side and stops barking, but only momentarily.}


 

Man – Whoa, I’m sorry, I was just trying to pick up some money I dropped. It blew into these bushes.

 

{Roxi studies the man intensely, not buying the story as Buster continues to growl at him. He wears a blue hoodie with the hood pulled up and a surgical mask over his face.}

 

Roxi – Yeah. Alright, I hope you found it.

 

Man – Yup. Got it all.

 

{Roxi continues to eye the man suspiciously, before turns and walking back through the park. She, along with Buster continue to turn around and check to see, and the man turns and walks in a different direction, until he is out of sight. Roxi continues to walk, but Buster is still turning around, Roxi has to stop and turn as well. There, the same man was walking behind them, but keeping his distance, looking as if he was trying not to hide. Roxi grows extremely annoyed herself, although, a little apprehension at the situation as well. Finally, she stops, and turns around, and the man stops, still the same distance away.}

 

Roxi – Why are you following me?

 

Man – What? I’m not... I live this way. I just don’t want to get in your way. Your dog doesn’t seem friendly.

 

Roxi – Maybe he just doesn’t like you. But if you live this way, then please, go ahead.

 

{The man stands there for a split second, and then walks by Roxi, and instantly the familiar smell of the man’s B.O. hits her. Buster continues to growl as Roxi shouts at him.}

 

Roxi – YOU!

 

{The man turns around with his hands up.}

 

Man – I didn’t do anything!

 

Roxi – You're the same person from before. You were in the gym, and at the signing! You are following us! 

 

{The man at first shakes his head, before lowering his arms and shrugging.}

 

Man – I'm... I’m just a big fan.

 

Roxi – This is NOT how you shown that. You’re following me, and my wife! 

 

Man – Because I worship you guys! Please! I just want to get to know you!

 

Roxi – Absolutely not! You’re being a complete creep! You listen to me, and you listen good. You STAY AWAY from me, you stay away from my wife, and you stay away from my family! Do you understand me?! 

 

{The man’s face, even though it is hidden by a mask, turns sour, at mixture of anger and embarrassment. He looks at Roxi, and then his hands go into his pockets, and he starts kicking the dirt, almost like a small child.}

 

Roxi – I asked you a question!

 

Man – I'm... I’m really sorry. 

 

{Roxi keeps a sharp eye on the man as she points in a general direction.}

 

Roxi – Get out of here. If I see you around here again, I will call the cops. Go. NOW.

 

{The Man turns, and leaves, headed in the direction Roxi pointed, only to stop after a few steps.}

 

Man – Please don’t do this. I don’t want this to mess everything up. Don’t do this to me. 

 

Roxi – Get. AWAY. From. ME!

 

Man – Why are you doing this? You don’t want to do this. Don’t do this, please. You are all I have!

 

Roxi – NOW!

 

Man – You will regret this...

 

{The man stands there, looking sad and angry still. He marches in the direction Roxi pointed, and Roxi watches as he goes out of sight. Roxi then quickly scoops up Buster, and when she is sure no one is around, she teleports away, out of the area, and back to the house. She quickly gets up the stairs, and opens the door, quickly looking around, clearly paranoid and shaken by the events. She beings Buster in, and unleashes him, and leans against the doorway, shaken. Keira is sitting on the couch and sees this. She bolts up and comforts Roxi.}

 

Keira – What happened?! Roxi talk to me!

 

Roxi – He’s.... stalking us.

 

{Keira’s face is red with anger as she tries to hold it in.}

 

Keira – What... happened?

 

Roxi – Buster started barking and he was hiding in some bushes. He was following me. I confronted him. Sent him away. I had to get home fast. 

 

Keira – God damn it.

 

Roxi – I'm sorry I didn’t believe you.

 

Keira – It's okay. So long as he doesn’t know where we live, I think we’ll be okay, but... I’m not taking ANY chances.

 

Roxi – What are you going to do?

 

Keira – What needs to be done...

 

{Keira hugs Roxi and comforts her as the scene fades.}

 




 

{That night, Keira returns home after a trip out with a home security system. She puts it on the kitchen table and doesn’t even have her purse all the way down before she’s opening the box. Roxi, still a little shaken, is peering out the window, behind the curtain so her face is hidden.}

 

Keira – We'll just install a security system. That way, if that creep comes near us, we’ll have him recorded. But hopefully he doesn’t know where we live. But still, I am not taking any chances.

 

Roxi – I'd like to think that he got my message.

 

Keira – You could have told him anything, Roxi. He’s clearly obsessed and we cannot afford to have that creep in our house! This way, we will see him if he tries anything!

 

Roxi – Are you sure it’s going to work?

 

Keira – I'm going to get this all set up, and if he comes to our home, either by mistake or on purpose, we’re going to find out and get notified.

 

Roxi – I... I can’t even really comprehend this. I can’t really even believe it.

 

Keira – I know it’s hard to believe sometimes. But... this shouldn’t be really anything new, right? We’ve dealt with this kind of stuff before. The bad guys are always after us.

 

Roxi – This... this isn’t a bad guy, though.

 

{Keira arches a brow at Roxi.}

 

Roxi – Not... like they usually are.

 

Keira – Roxi, we have had some crazy things happen to us. We’ve had Amelia break into our house. We’ve had that damn Collector guy invade our home. This guy... this guy we can have the police handle.

 

Roxi – But this is... this is a normal person. Amelia is insane. That Collector guy was insane.

 

Keira – And this guy is too.

 

Roxi – No, he’s obsessed.

 

{Keira stops, staring at Roxi almost not believing what she is hearing.}

 

Keira – Do NOT tell me you’re even beginning to sympathize with this creep?!

 

Roxi – No, I... I guess it’s just how much I want to understand this.

 

Keira – There's nothing to understand. He’s crazy just like the rest of them. The only difference is he doesn’t have powers or goons or thugs.

 

Roxi – Right, and I think that makes him even more dangerous.

 

{Keira then points to the box with the home security system.}

 

Keira – Which is why we have this. And it’s why we’re going to make sure that if he tries anything, we’re going to stop it before it gets out of control.

 

{Roxi takes a second to sigh, and take a deep breath.}

 

Roxi – Maybe you’re right. I’m sorry that I didn’t see it beforehand.

 

Keira – Trust me, as soon as this stuff is installed, we’ll be ready.

 

Roxi – Yeah...

 

{Roxi sits down at the table, taking a drink of water, as Keira starts getting everything ready and the scene fades.}

 




 

{That night, Roxi lays awake in bed, trying not to think about the creepy fan, but at the same time, she is anticipating the notification on her phone of the alarm system. She tries to get herself to calm down and get some rest and finally, after a long while, she does. Even though she’s usually out on patrol at this time of night, things have been quiet so there is no need for it. 

 

She finally drifts off to sleep, as she can feel the drowsy feeling wash over her. It’s over an hour, but it feels like 30 seconds, and then like clockwork, her phone buzzes with an alarm. She sits up instantly and checks her phone. The notification is there.}


 

“Someone is at your front door.”

 

{Roxi checks her phone and the camera feed displayed on her phone. And there he is. The same male fan, or at least, Roxi is sure of it. She watches at the large man tugs on the front door, clearly trying to open it. He peers inside, trying to look for movement. Roxi nudges Keira who wakes up, confused.}

 

Keira – Wha-

 

Roxi – SHHH!

 

{Roxi shows Keira her phone, and Keira is angry.}

 

Keira – That bastard!

 

Roxi – Just watch... don’t make any noise.

 

{Roxi and Keira continue to watch, the male fan not noticing the cameras watching him as he continues to peer inside the house. He begins to walk around to the side of the house, and a second camera spots him. He starts checking windows and they are all locked. Finally, he swings to the back of the house and again checks the back door, but it too, is locked. He shrugs, continuing to try and look inside, but it’s too dark to see. The night vision camera spots everything, but the man in the white hoodie is still wearing his surgical mask to hide his face. He does a complete circle, checking on windows until Roxi and Keira see where he is.}

 

Keira - (whispering) That’s Nate’s room!

 

{Roxi and Keira hurry out of bed, but when the man checks the window, the sound awakens Buster, who is sleeping in Nate’s room. Buster springs into action, barking and growling at the window as the man backs away from it, and leaves. Roxi and Keira immediately burst into the room when, as Nate is now awake, and soon Roxi’s mother Elizabeth is startled as well.}

 

Elizabeth – What in the world is going on?

 

Roxi – It was the security alarm. 

 

Nate – Mommy, Mama, what’s the matter?

 

Roxi – It's... it’s nothing baby, we just thought something was wrong because Buster was barking. Buster might have been having a scary dream. 

 

{Buster is right there staring at the window, but eventually he stops, and lays back down. Roxi is there to hug Nate, along with Keira as they lay Nate down again to go to sleep. Roxi and Keira bring Elizabeth into the hallway.}

 

Roxi – We have a problem.

 

Elizabeth – What?

 

Roxi – The security system caught someone trying to break into the house.

 

Elizabeth – Oh... you should call the police!

 

Roxi – He’s wearing a mask. We saw the video.

 

Elizabeth – What can we do?

 

Roxi – I don’t know.

 

Keira – Maybe he’ll move on and try other houses?! I think we need to call the police.

 

Roxi – I have a sick feeling in my stomach right now.

 

{Roxi takes a second and starts to think about it.}

 

Roxi – Buster may have accidently given us away.

 

Keira – Shit.

 

Roxi – He saw me with Buster. Buster barked at him. He may have all the information he needs.

 

Keira – We are 100% going to the police then.

 

Roxi – Yeah... yeah that’s all we can do.

 

{Roxi turns to her mother.}

 

Roxi – I'm going to go and file a police report in the morning. Maybe, if we’re lucky, he’ll move on, but he’s gotta be canvasing the neighborhood looking for us.

 

Elizabeth – Us? You mean you and Keira? What is going on?

 

Roxi – We have a stalker.

 

Elizabeth – Then you HAVE to inform the police!

 

Roxi – I will in the morning. Just... for now, please make sure that all the door and windows stay locked. With any luck, this will be over without too much trouble.

 

{Elizabeth nods and soon everyone returns to their rooms where Roxi and Keira both lay in bed. Roxi then turns to Keira.}

 

Roxi – I need you to promise me something.

 

Keira – What?

 

Roxi – While I’m gone, DO NOT answer the door. I don’t care who is there, have my mom answer it if ANYONE comes. Even if it’s the mailman.

 

Keira – Roxi, I –

 

Roxi – Do not argue with me on this. If he’s anywhere near here, and he catches a glimpse of you, he’ll know. If my mom answers, we may be able to throw him off. 

 

Keira – You want me to be trapped in the house?! I’m not about to be prisoner in my own home! That’s why we have the security thing, and it worked. Now we have evidence of an attempted break in!

 

Roxi – We still don’t know who he is... For now, we’ll let the cops handle it. Just... promise me, please.

 

{Keira sighs, knowing she’s not winning this argument.}

 

Keira – I promise.

 

Roxi – Thank you.

 

{Roxi kisses Keira and the two finally drift off to sleep again. The notification alerts once again.}

 

“Someone is at your front door.”

 

{Fade.}

 




 

“He's driven by obsession, a singleness of purpose. He'll never give up.”

- Batman (Batman: Bane)

 

Hello, SCW.

 

So, here we are, just a short time away from a huge event in Athens, and I have yet to really find the time to enjoy being the Bombshell’s champion, and while I enjoyed my match with Seleana, what lies ahead... I’m not going to enjoy at all.

 

When I stood face to face with Myra Rivers, she told me, to my face, that she wasn’t going to let setbacks or bad breaks define her. It was a very confusing thing for her to say, because I don’t really understand what the issue truly is at this point. Because Myra says this to my face, but this entire process, it was been the exact opposite.

 

This is ENTIRELY about making up for not winning this championship for her.

 

What Myra Rivers has done, is really, create the ultimate black and white scenario. It either goes one way, or another. There is no middle ground here when it comes to Myra. She either wins the Bombshell’s championship, and all is right with the world, OR she loses, and she was never meant to be a champion and is a failure. That’s where we stand right now. And for me, that is one of the most absurd things I have ever heard in my entire career. What kind of line in the sand is this? Why does it have to be this way? 

 

If Myra wants to know why we are not good buddy-buddy friends, it’s because of things like this. I thought that after all this time, in her career, that she could see this business for what it is, and for what it’s worth. That she could actually take the time to appreciate the scenario she is in, and enjoy the success she’s had. She is riding a nearly unheard-of wave of success that people would kill for. But no. No, we have reached the sky is falling levels of this. I never expected someone like Myra to turn this into a Chicken Little situation. Myra can sit there and say that she’s content, or even happy with her career, she can, but I’m sorry, I simply cannot buy it at this point. Like, I don’t want to turn this into a Bash-Myra situation, but it seriously did not have to be like this.

 

This isn’t a woe is me moment, but for goodness' sake when I said I wanted a championship match, boy did Myra Rivers come out of nowhere to tell me how wrong I was for doing so. I was told how I was setting a bad example and how I should be better. And that was after we went to a draw the week prior. And then it was, “Boy, Roxi sure is losing her cool” “Boy, you have put too much pressure on yourself.” 

And now, she has seen the light as it were, and she understands now.

 

But... does she?

 

I try not to judge people, and maybe Myra was just trying to help, but when she wants to voice her opinion, she’s free to do so, but things like this are why you don’t judge people in the first place. Because, then you don’t have to come back and try and walk these things back. I mean, it’s coming with the territory at this point. If I’m not always there, if I’m not always on time, always on top of everything, if I’m not always helping everyone else and putting them before myself, I am a terrible, awful friend, a fake, a liar, a phony, and everything wrong with the world. Dammit, I actually try and live up to people expectations, most of all my own, and when I don’t meet them, it pains me. But then, I get told that I overwork myself, I put the world on my shoulders, and I know that I do. Because that’s the way I have always had it go. I would rather have everything on MY shoulders. I struggle asking for help. I want to take on the most weight, because I try make things easier for everyone else. I get told I should treat myself from time to time, that every once in a while, I should do things for myself.

 

And when I do? I’m selfish. I only care about myself. I should be better than that. I am judged every single day no matter what. I have to be there and I have to keep everything in order. My world doesn’t stop because people depend on me. I wanted to do something for myself, and not only win the Bombshell’s title, I needed to beat Amber Ryan.

 

I was motivated by the constant need to become better. That is what this has always been for me. This championship that I just won? I needed to be BETTER in order to win it, and that is exactly what I did. I had to do what many people could not do: Beat Amber Ryan one on one. That was the goal, and that was my motivation. The Bombshell’s championship, while very important to me, was not the most important thing in that fight. 

 

But for Myra Rivers, it’s the exact opposite.

 

Myra can tell you, as she told me, in a tweet, that “Happiness in this business isn't the titles that you win, but the memories you create being the best version of yourself you could possibly be.” And she thanked me for reminding her of that. She said that to me, and I wanted to believe that it was how she really felt. But she knows it isn’t. And now, I know it isn’t. Because she has created this narrative that if she doesn’t win this championship, if she doesn’t win this match, and become the champion, then her whole career is worthless. This is the exact opposite of what she says. Every interview, every time she is in front of a camera dating back to last year, it’s about winning the Bombshell’s championship, and every time she has come up short, she was the “victim”. 

 

I’m sorry, what? 

 

Let me just take the time to explain this, because it needs to be said, and it needs to be put out there.

 

Myra Rivers has one of, if not the longest Bombshell’s Internet championship reigns in SCW history. One of the longest title reigns of any gender, period. Myra Rivers made the Blast from the Past finals two years in a row. Myra Rivers got not one, but two Bombshell championship matches in the same year, back-to-back. I don’t know about any of you, but I hardly see a “victim” when you consider what other people didn’t get. Myra Rivers now spits on all that, because without this championship I have around my waist, none of that really matters to her.

 

She is only a victim in her own mind, and this is the reason we are in this situation right now. She has 100% trivialized all the hard work people have done in SCW. There are people who have been busting their humps for years and not had the success Myra has had. And all because of the label she has put on herself. Who is calling Myra Rivers the “best to never win the Bombshell’s championship?” It certainly isn’t something I have seen or heard from anyone in Sin City Wrestling. Where did this narrative come from? The answer is staring Myra right in the face. 

 

She did. She created this.

 

And you know how I know this? Because it’s all she ever talks about. 

 

You know, I want to root for certain people. I want to see them succeed. I know my wife really wants to complete the Grand Slam and really establish herself away from me, and the success of Team Hero. I am rooting for her to do so, but even my wife understands that there are more important things in the world, and in her wrestling career. It will not be defined by the fact that she DIDN’T do something. My wife could retire tomorrow, and she’d still go down as one of the best in SCW. Maybe not the best, but when you look at what she has accomplished, it’s a lot, and she can look back and be proud. 

 

I want to root for Bella Madison, who is trying so hard each and every time out. She never gets down on herself, she picks herself up and gets right back to the grind. She hasn’t taken the fun out of this. 

 

I want to root for Jessie Salco, and Sam Marlowe, and Candy, and the list goes on and on with good people who are working so hard, and not seeing the same level of success as some.

 

And I want to root for Myra Rivers. I really, really do. But when someone becomes so single-minded in pursuit of goal, to the point where they can only hype themselves up, it becomes draining. Nobody like to hear someone talk about how great things are going to be for themselves, all the time. Myra has taken this to an extreme level and it’s for all the wrong reasons. I tried to look past all that and root for her, but I don’t really have to, because she is her own biggest cheerleader. I am all for the motivational stuff, but what we have reached at this point is not motivation, it is not hyper-focus, it’s not even a concentrated effort.

 

It is an OBSESSION.

 

It has become an ADDICTION.

 

I am all for having goals, and trying to reach them. I completely understand wanting to be the best, and I understand that in sports, you have people who are driven to this level. Michael Jordan was probably a competitor on an almost psychotic level. But this? This is different.

 

 I was there backstage at Blaze Of Glory, seeing how hard her daughter took Myra coming up short. And it hurt to watch that. And she turned that level of hurt, into this obsession. She has become a junkie, looking for a fix. She can’t just be successful everywhere she has gone, that’s not good enough. She can’t be one of the top contenders in the entire world at any given time. That’s not good enough. Because I heard Myra tell her daughter that she was sorry, and apologize profusely about losing the match at Blaze of Glory. And that’s when it hit me, exactly what she going to do.

 

She has turned that, into negative energy.

 

I cannot actually believe I have to tell this story to someone who has been in wrestling as long as Myra has, but for goodness sakes, Myra has to understand that there are more important things in the world than championships in pro wrestling, and not turn this into something that is essentially me, or anyone else, trying to deny her on purpose and make her look bad in the eyes of her daughter. Nobody is out here trying to do that. It is all because of Myra’s obsession.

 

Because what has happened now, is she’s going to hear these words, and she will make me out to be the bad guy. I’m the bad guy talking about her family and not telling her what she wants to hear. I’m the hypocrite because here I am talking bad about her, and I’m not telling her that I’m excited and looking forward to this match, because the truth is, it’s really hard to be, when I know that beating her means that she will become 100% positive that it won’t happen for her. She will convince herself that she has no business in the main event and she will never be world champion. 

 

At this point, I almost need to walk into Athens, and just hand this championship to her, to avoid that.

 

I might as well not even bother trying to wrestle Myra. Because in the end, a loss would just be devastating. It would be career crippling to Myra. But, as a champion, as a wrestler, as a PERSON, I cannot adhere to giving this title up simply because someone else wants it really bad. Now, she has told me that she can accept that, but can she? I mean, really? I just have a hard time believing that, when all this talk has created the doom and gloom scenario.

 

And thus, it puts me in a no-win situation as well. 

 

I am priding myself on defending this championship with honor, and putting on the show the fans deserve, while also being a fighting champion, and taking on all comers as they get their chance. But now, there’s no fun in this defense. What fun is there to be had, if your opponent doesn’t really care about facing you, they don’t care about the match, the only care about the result. They only care that they get what they want? And then, if they don’t, they fall apart and break. 

 

Yes, Myra told me she’d be able to accept a loss in Athens. She told me she really wants to wrestle me and she’s looking at our past matches and everything like that. But deep down, I know she was just telling me she thought I wanted to hear.  She was telling me these things, but in her own heart, she knew she was feeding me lines. All this is about is beating whoever the champion happened to be at the time. It could have been me, it could have been Amber, Crystal, Mikah, Alicia, it doesn’t matter. It never mattered. All that matters is that she wins. She gets her dream ending and she holds this championship.

 

And then what happens? 

 

In her mind, the losses were worth it. All those times coming up short were worth it. Everyone who doubted her was wrong. But who I have heard all of zero people say that Myra has no chance. I have heard no one say she can’t win the big one, I haven’t heard any of that, except from Myra Rivers. There is no group, no clique looking to stop Myra Rivers from doing anything. 

 

I had Mercedes Vargas tell me straight up she did not think I was going to beat Amber. Is Mercedes saying this about Myra? No. Why? Because Myra has done that for everyone else. This is the world, the entire REALITY that Myra has created for herself. It is almost paranoid delusion. And I am about to become the biggest detractor, the biggest denier. In her mind, I’m about to take every single thing away from her.

 

Because now, I’m going to beat her in Athens.

 

I told her to her face that I planned on winning, and I hoped she could accept it. That was, in essence, my last real appeal to the Myra Rivers who used to be there. The one I hope is still in there. Because the one who looked me in my face, is an addict in need of help.

 

At this point, you can call it tough love. It’s something that has to be done. I know right now, if Myra Rivers beats me, then all it’s going to do is cement in her mind that her obsession is warranted. Her obsession is okay. And everyone knows, the worst thing you can do with an addict, the worst thing you can with someone is acting this way, is to give them what they want. 

 

I’m going to beat Myra Rivers at Into the Void, and it’s going to be for her own good.   

 

This has to stop, and I’m going to stop it in Athens.
<img src=http://rockstarrj.webs.com/newroxibanner.jpg> </img>

Myra Rivers

  • Guest
The Final Test: Part 1
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2022, 11:40:14 PM »
“It was always about her… about living up to the superhero I always felt she was to me… from day one, I’ve just wanted to make her proud of me…”

10-31-1991

“Just 30 more minutes mommy…” I pleaded with my mother while I was wearing my Catwoman costume for Halloween. My mother, wearing a batgirl costume for the occasion, let out a sigh as she sat down on the couch. Me, being on a sugar rush, zoomed over to the couch. “Why can’t we get candy for 30 more minutes?”

“I’m tired sweetie…” my mother responded. “...you have school tomorrow too…”

“Aw…” I said, being an obviously disappointed seven-year-old.

“Plus, I have this really bad headache…” she added on, neither of us both knowing at the time it was due to the brain cancer that would kill her in three months time. “There’s always next year… and since Halloween is on a Saturday, you can stay up longer. But, that’s next year. You need to start getting ready for bed…”

“Fine…” I said with a halfhearted sigh. My mother saw the sadness in my face and she got up and went over to a collection of tapes she had.

“You want to watch one of my matches with me?”

My eyes instantly lit up, having become attached to her wrestling career!

“YEAH!” I said with excitement. My mother grabbed the tape and she put it in the VCR. She didn’t realize it at this moment, as I wouldn’t tell her for another few months, but the match she put on was the match that made me want to be a wrestler in the first place. That match was seeing my mother beat Chelle Kramer to win the world title she had been chasing for years. I STILL remember how inspired I felt in my heart, seeing my mom, like this amazing superhero and the best one I can ask for, live her dream. I remember the tears of joy in my eyes, watching her win as my mother hugged me. But what I remember most was the sentence that crossed my mind as I watched her celebrate with her title…

“I wanna do that too…”

“That was me living my dream…” my mother reflected, snapping me out of my thoughts. “I don’t know what you want to be when you grow up sweetheart, but just know that whatever it is, I’m always going to support you and I’m never going to leave you behind…”

“I love you…” I said in response, curling up in her arms. I remember hearing her say “I love you too” while my imagination ran wild on what being a professional wrestler would be like.

I never imagined that this would be the last Halloween that I’d ever have with her…

5-6-2022

“Seeing her climb the mountain inspired me so much to want to do the same thing. Of all the matches of hers I ever watched, it was THAT one that has always stuck with me and has always given me that bar to reach…”

I said this to my cousin Cynthia Rivers through a Zoom call I was having from my hotel room in Greece during a therapy session I was having.

“...I feel as if finally winning that SCW Bombshells World title is going to be when I feel like I’ve finally reached it. Cindy, you know I need this. You know how bad I want this. It’s been an on and off subject for months. I can never feel like I’m the superhero my mother was without that…”

Cindy takes some notes, then catches me off guard when I realize that she’s wearing an expression of concern on her face. I see her review notes from previous sessions we’ve had.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

“We’ve discussed your mother many times and I’m just looking over notes, reviewing the progress you’ve made since September, reviewing the hurdles you’ve overcome and how much you’ve grown since you hit rock bottom eight months ago and don’t get me wrong, these are all wonderful things.”

“But…”

“Every time you talk about your mother, I feel this… vibe… that she casts a shadow over you. I mean no disrespect. But, you’ve overcome so many things and you’ve grown so much that maybe it’s time to do the one thing you’ve needed to do for years and not decades…”

“You’re scaring me. What are you getting at here?”

“Let me just ask you a question. Throughout your career, have you ever felt as if you’ve ever reached that bar or ever lived up to the superhero vision you’ve always had of your mother?”

I squinted, expressing annoyance on my face.

“Cindy… again, what are you getting at? I feel…”

I paused, feeling my chest tightening.

“...I feel very uncomfortable right now…”

“Is this because you know the answer and you don’t want to say it?”

I sighed with both regret and reluctance.

“I pretty much admitted it earlier without realizing it… that I could never feel that I’ve lived up to my mother without the Bombshells world title. I’ve never reached that bar… or I never felt like I ever have…”

“Don’t you think that’s why you’ve never fully conquered your psychological demons as it pertains to your career?”

Now I was feeling angry…

“...excuse me?”

“Have you ever considered what you just admitted… of never feeling like you’ve lived up to the superhero vision you’ve had of your mother… IS the problem that you have never acknowledged or overcome to be a better person?”

“No, are you fucking kidding me?” I asked, anger increasing in my voice.”

“Cousin, why are you not being honest with yourself?”

“I’ve ALWAYS been honest during EVERY session we’ve ever had. I’ve ALWAYS tried my best to be honest for Kimberly to be the best role model I can be for her and you’re telling me this, you’re calling me a LIAR! WHY in the HELL would you THINK that feeling the way I do regarding my mother is “THE PROBLEM”? How can you say that, CIndy? How could something noble like wanting to replicate what she did and be inspired by her be a BAD THING? It’s RIDICULOUS!”

“It’s not when you consider that you’ve never gotten over her passing…”

For a brief moment, I lost it.

“...FUCK YOURSELF, CINDY!”

"You never got over your mother's death and THAT'S why you feel like you have a standard with her to live up to... THAT'S why you're so driven to be that world champion you've always wanted to be. THAT’S why you USED to beat yourself down and act like the sky is falling after every loss. You’ve never given yourself a chance to heal from her passing. Thirty years later and you’re STILL stuck in her shadow. Maybe that’s why in SCW, you’re ‘always falling short when it matters’.

I clenched my fist for a few seconds, anger seething for a while. My heart sank because it knew that to some degree, Cindy was right. Thinking about my mother’s death in this moment made me feel like that sad, heartbroken little seven-year-old girl I was all over again when I first heard the news. Tears even formed in my eyes.

“I’m sorry…” I said, taking a deep breath. “You’re right. I’ve never gotten over her death. Her death still haunts me. It still destroys me. It still leaves me with the emptiest feeling in the world knowing that I never got to grow up with her. Her death and the fact that my entire career has been based on honoring her memory from day one and making her proud… I don’t want to say it puts so much pressure on me but…”

“If it doesn’t put pressure on you, you’d never have those meltdowns you once did…” she reminds me. It wouldn’t feel like a big match failure feels like you failed her and dishonored her memory, would it?”

I shook my head, agreeing with her.

“You have to start the healing process now…” she adds. “You have become strong enough to heal, to let go, to move on…”

I squinted my teary, glistening eyes.

“You have to face her death and the reality of it… starting with how she died…”

“I know how she died! Single car accident, veered off the highway, crashed into a tree…”

“The autopsy showed she had a brain aneurysm…”

Suddenly, I felt numb.

“...that’s what killed her. She was already dead before she hit the tree…”

“WHY COULDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS YEARS AGO?” I said in a burst of anger.

“You weren’t ready to know the truth… until now…”

I felt like I jumped on a time machine back to that horrible day she died at this point.

“I’m saying this not just as your therapist, but as family. For 30 years, you have been in so much pain… every single day. That pain in your heart is so deep that it’s killing you and you don’t even know it. Have you ever felt like you’ve attained closure from her pasting?”

Through my own tears, I shook my head.

“...I don’t even know what that closure would look like, Cindy. I miss her so much, every single day. My heart has never stopped hurting or yearning for her. I’ve been a little girl with a broken heart for 30 long years. She’s the one piece of my life I wish so much I had. It hurts so bad that she can’t be here. It’s painful for me when I can’t ‘take that final step’ because it feels like I’m letting her down and hell, at one point, it used to make me feel like I was such a failure as a daughter. Gosh, after the second loss to Amber, I was SO broken that I was wishing it was ME that died in that accident either with her or instead of her”

“That’s alarming and I’m SO glad that you’re beyond that line of thinking. Still, if you want to be the best that you can be: as a professional wrestler, as a human being, and most importantly as a mother… you HAVE to let go and move on from her death…”

“DON’T FUCKING TELL ME I HAVE TO LET GO! I CAN’T let go! Not when she’s the inspiration I’ve had for ALL of this!”

The tears started flowing to go along with my anger.

“Don’t FUCKING TELL ME to move on from my mother and to let her go!”

“It’s the ONLY WAY you’re ever going to be the best you can be, Miranda…”

“NO! There HAS to be another way! You can’t tell me to move on! She means EVERYTHING to me and you’re telling me to move on and act like she never existed?”

“I’m not telling you to act that way. I’m telling you that you need to let go of her death because hanging onto that pain is THE biggest reason why you haven’t been SCW Bombshells World Champion yet and why you sometimes struggle with being the right role model for Kimberly…”

“I can’t do this…” I said with a teary anger in my voice as I slammed the laptop shut and cut my session short. I curled up into bed clutching onto the nearest pillow that I could find. My head was spinning in denial.

“I don’t want to let her go…” I thought to myself. “I can’t let her go… especially knowing HOW she died… I can’t… I’ll be a weaker person if I do… if I let her go, what the fuck is going to push me in my wrestling career? How can that quack sit there and tell me that?”

My mind raced for a little while… before I fell asleep…

Next thing I knew, I was standing by a tree stump next to a highway. I was immediately confused. I could hear cars zooming by.

“What’s the matter?” I heard my mother say behind me. I looked at her, saw the cars behind her, took note of the scenery and I widened my eyes in shock knowing exactly where I was.

“...you did NOT just bring me to the very spot that you died…”

My mother had a conflicted look in her eyes, but I immediately snapped into my seven-year-old mode and ran up to hug her. I wanted to hang onto her for as long as I could and I surely didn’t want to let her go. But, she wasn’t returning the hug and this caused me to become confused as I let her go. She maintained that conflicted look in her eyes.

“Mom…”

“The day I worried about has finally come…” she responded, confusing me further. “I knew someday you’d face your final test…”

“...final test?” I said, my voice nearly quivering in denial.

“The day you have to start letting go is here, Miranda…”

I was immediately stunned, hearing this from my own mother.

“Somewhere in you, you know that you can’t become what you are destined to be until you move on and let go of me. You cannot be stubborn about this for another second. You have to face this. That’s why I brought you to the very location that I died. I KNOW this is hard for you, sweetheart. You think this isn’t hard for me too?”

“...how can I let go of the inspiration I’ve had since I was a little girl?” I asked. “How can I move on from the very thing that inspired me to be a professional wrestler in the first place? You’ve always been that motivation for me to be at my very best and now YOU are telling me to move on too?”

“You’ve outgrown that inspiration, sweetheart. I’m disappointed whenever you feel like you’ve disappointed me or that you’ve never met the bar you say I set for you. You’ve LONG exceeded that bar, Miranda… and WAY earlier in your career than you ever want to give yourself credit for. In fact, that bar was exceeded before Kimberly was even born and yet you DON’T want to see that because you want to hang onto me. I’m NOT going to let you hurt yourself this way anymore. In fact, I’ve become a burden to you…”

“...no you haven’t mother…”

“You’re still trying to live up to my career long after you’ve exceeded it and you continue to deny that perspective…”

“I HAVE…” I snapped back at her, uncharacteristically. “...because if I ACCEPT that perspective, then that’d be letting go of you…”

“What is so hard about letting go of me, Miranda?”

“Because NONE OF IT IS FAIR, MOTHER!” I said with an angry passion in my voice. “NONE OF IT! Because you DIED, I had to suffer for the rest of my childhood being mistreated, emotionally abused and psychologically neglected by a piece of shit father that NEVER wanted me in the first place, alright? He took great delight in tormenting me knowing YOU were never going to be able to stop him! You think that’s fucking FAIR? It’s not…”

“Let it out, sweetheart…”

“It’s NOT FAIR that you were taken from me so FUCKING SOON…” I lashed out, as tears flowed down my face. “...we NEVER got to make EasyBake cookies together! You NEVER got to pick out a prom dress for me! You NEVER got to arrange my sweet 16, or fix my hair for a wedding, or go shopping with me at the mall, or teach me how to cook, or god… even help me with me with my stupid senior English thesis for fuck’s sake! You NEVER got to train me to be a wrestler and you NEVER got to live to see my biggest career moments! It’s BULLSHIT, mother! It’s SO UNFAIR that all of those precious little moments I never got to have with you got STOLEN from me!!!!! I’ve had to live with these BURDENS for more than 30 years! You think that’s FAIR? You think I DESERVE that?”

“It’s okay… be angry…”

“You left me WAY too soon and you expect ME to EVER get over that and move on? Honestly, you have no idea how much BITTERNESS I’ve ALWAYS carried with me because you left me too soon? WHY did you have to leave me so soon?”

I sat down on that stump, eyes itching, turning red, my heart destroyed into a million pieces all while I was reliving the emotions I felt the moment I heard she had died again. I was slightly shaking, my emotional breakdown was becoming uncontrollable.

“Life isn’t always fair…”

“Easy for YOU to say, being the one that’s dead! I am horrified to admit this mother, but for the first time, I’m ANGRY at YOU for leaving me too soon! I think of all of the obstacles and personal demons I would’ve never had to deal with at ALL if you didn’t and… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t…”

“It’s OKAY, Miranda! BE ANGRY with me! Tell me how you REALLY feel because this is how you start healing!”

“...I don’t want to fault you for dying, mother. But god, if ONLY you checked out those insufferable migraines WAY sooner than you did and maybe you would’ve caught the brain cancer at stage zero and not stage four…”

“I’m sorry…” she said, surprising me and finally getting me to calm down. “You don’t have to say it because I know that little girl I loved so much… and still do and always will… felt like I let her down.”

“You said you’d always be there for me… why wouldn’t I feel let down? I’m sorry, I don’t mean to act like… like…”

“A brat? It’s okay. That’s your inner child talking. That’s her letting out the pain you’ve made her hold back for decades. I’m so sorry that I left you so soon. And I’m sorry for doing what I’m about to do for you to start the healing process for your own good…”

“...what do you mean?”

On the snap of a finger, a light blinded me. I found myself in the passenger’s seat of a car and I saw my mother driving.

“...Mom, what are you doing?”

She was acting like she wasn’t hearing me.

“Let’s get you the latest news this morning… January 25, 1992…” I heard the radio say, my eyes widening in shock when I realized what was happening. I saw my mother hold the front of her head and scream “OH MY GOD MY HEAD” as if she was in such horrible pain. She tried so hard to focus on the road before she suddenly collapsed on the wheel. The car speed up right through the road heading right toward the barricade.

“MOM! MOM! WAKE UP! Mom, you’re going to crash! MOM!!!!!”

The car crashed through the barricade before speeding right into a tree, immediately breaking it and causing it to collapse right on the roof of her car, immediately shattering the windshield. My heart sank knowing it was hopeless. I knew at this point that she was dead and the most horrifying realization is that I saw it happen and there was virtually nothing I could do to save her. I was seeing some cars stop to observe the situation with someone rushing to a nearby payphone to call the police about what just happened.

Me?

I was shaking. I was in such denial at what I just saw. My nerves were on fire at this point. Police arrived on the scene a few minutes later and I was numb to it all at this point. It was one of the most horrific, gut wrenching feelings I ever experienced knowing that I just witnessed my superhero die. I didn’t have long to soak in what I had witnessed before I was blinded by another white light and I finally woke up…

5-7-2022

My eyes opened and this chill went down my spine. I was still in denial at the nightmare that I just had. I was sweating profusely and I could even feel my own rapid heartbeat. My mouth was dry. My arms were numb. I slowly sat up on my bed and just to add to the cruelty of what I had just dreamt, I had to deal with the irony of having a headache that was quite possibly a migraine. The tears were there when I came to accept that I really DID just experience my mother’s death from a first person perspective.

“Why would she show me that?” I asked in the confusion that was drowning in the shock that I was experiencing right now. “I had to see it for myself, didn’t I?”

Upon realizing this, I began to feel less numb. I wasn’t feeling hot. My heartbeat was slowing down. I felt like I could breathe a little bit better. The confusion was starting to wear off. The tears were still falling.

“You had to see it for yourself for your own good…” I could hear my mother saying to me in my head. The shock began to wear off at this point and after a few minutes, I was in for another surprise… the surprise being that after the shock was wearing off, I wasn’t feeling empty, or hopeless or lonely. I was feeling… okay! Sure, the nightmare I experienced was amazingly jarring and was going to leave a mark. But the irony of it all was despite everything, I knew I was going to be fine.

“My mother is right…” I said to myself. “Cindy is right. My inner child has clung onto my mother for way too long and I am seeing how it’s affecting me. I’m seeing how hanging onto my mother is holding me down. I shouldn’t be angry about her premature death. I should be grateful for the time I DID have with her. I shouldn’t be cursing her and blaming her death and wishing that my personal demons and obstacles never happened. If she never died, I would’ve never had to face them, sure… but I wouldn’t be so strong right now without ever facing them. Instead of wishing things turned out different, I should be grateful that they turned out the way they did. I should recognize how strong I am for overcoming what I have instead of feeling empty and weak because she’s not here anymore.”

I took a deep breath, letting the last of the shock wear off.

“I have to move on. I have to let go of that pain I’ve been experiencing for 30 years. I can’t live by the ‘superhero complex’ I gave her. I have to start healing and I have to start NOW… because at the end of the day? I can no longer burden myself over something I never got to have. How do I let go, heal, move on and be the best that I can be? How do I even start? What should I do?”

After accepting that it was time for me to move on and heal from the death of my mother, I definitely felt better and stronger… even if I didn’t know exactly HOW I was going to make it happen. All I knew at this point was that for the first time in my life, I finally accepted that she was gone and never coming back no matter how much or how long I wanted her to.

I couldn’t focus on replicating the superhero I thought she was…

I now had to figure out how I could be that superhero myself…

All I knew was that acceptance was the first step on finally healing from the one thing that has haunted me my whole life and my entire wrestling career…

Later…

As the camera came on me with the famous Parthenon in the background, I never would have imagined that knowing how my mother died and actually witnessing it in my dream the night before would cause me to heal so much in the immediate aftermath of the experience. And yet, as I gathered my thoughts on how to express what was in my head, I could feel my heart and soul finally begin to heal and that healing that I was experiencing was one of the most empowering feelings I’ve ever had go through me.

“I can’t say I am the most knowledgeable person, but I want to start off by saying that Hygieia might have paid me a visit to help me begin the healing process of something that has been the biggest burden of my life for more than 30 years. She’s a goddess of health for the uninitiated. I’m going to start off by discussing this unbelievable roller coaster I’ve been on since I came to Sin City Wrestling. There have been GREAT times, there have been hard times. The great has outweighed the hard. I’ve learned more about myself here than I have in any other company. I know my flaws and I know that some of the hard times I’ve had here, I’ve brought upon myself just with the way I think. But for a little perspective? For my whole career, up until last fall anyway, I struggled with self-esteem and struggled with confidence here and there. I used to beat myself down and be my own worst enemy all because I tried so desperately hard to live up to the path my mother set before me. I tried so hard to clear a bar that I had cleared years ago yet I was too stubborn to realize it. My mother was my superhero you see… and hanging on to her for so long has ironically made me drag myself down worrying that I disappoint her or that I’m a failure of a daughter to her.

I finally accepted that she’s gone… I finally accepted that I’ve exceeded that bar she set for me. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that it’s OKAY to let her go and that I shouldn’t be trying to live up to her career anymore. I was scared to move on… but now I’ve started that process and the mark of a true superhero is to know when to make a sacrifice and for me, that’s what that is. I’ve always known deep down inside of me that I was a strong woman with so much heart and potential and yet, this nagging little feeling inside of me always lurked trying to tell me otherwise. Well Roxi? I’ve defeated that feeling now. I can say with CONFIDENCE that you ARE getting the best version of me that you’ve ever gotten, that this company has ever gotten because I KNOW in my heart that if I can face the biggest tragedy I’ve ever had in my life at LAST and FINALLY begin the process of overcoming it once and for all after thirty years of fear, then I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to INCLUDING that world championship that you have now. I SEE things differently, Roxi. I never thought that letting go of someone I love dearly would give me such clarity, but I see things BETTER than I ever have before and this perspective inside of me is making me SO STRONG that I know in my heart that it’s not just a matter of WHEN I win that World Championship, it’s a matter of it happening eight days from now. I don’t need her to be my superhero anymore because what I should be focusing on is being that for my daughter. That perspective, when I think about how strong I’ve become, allows me to see where it all began for me… and Roxi…

…it started with you…

It started the night that you beat me on Climax Control on the road to High Stakes.

I never thought I’d call that loss a GOOD THING, but if it NEVER happened, I would’ve never allowed myself to grow and I would’ve fallen into the same toxic cycle that I fell into after I lost to Amber both times. I HAD to lose that match so that I could FINALLY start growing and I don’t even define my growth by the fact that I’ve only lost ONE match since you beat me, I define my growth by the way I handled that one loss. When I lost in the finals? Yeah, it was crushing for me. I won't lie about that. But I didn’t break down. I didn’t act like the sky was falling. I did not act as if I had to retire.  What losing in the tournament did was light a fire under my ass to push harder and that’s how we’re here, Roxi. I KNOW that by sticking to the fight, NOT collapsing like before and winning that four way, that I’m a stronger woman than EVER… hell, I’ll even go as far as saying that I’m even stronger than you. You may have beaten me before, but the next time we wrestled each other? We drew. It BOTHERED the shit out of you. I SAW you express that on Twitter when you talked about needing to be better and hell, you had EVERY RIGHT to be bothered by that outcome because the truth is? You SHOULD’VE beaten me again and you DIDN’T! I was two weeks removed from Chamber of Extreme and YOU couldn’t beat me. Most wrestlers in my situation lose, but not ME, Roxi. You couldn’t beat me because you were stuck in your own damn head yourself. You didn’t beat me because somewhere in your mind, you were so WORRIED about being put in the back of the line had you lost to me. I remember that match SO well and that match defines so much between you and I and it TELLS ME how I’m stronger than you.

You let it eat at you.

I didn’t.

Just like I did prior to my big rise back to this point, you were the one devastated with a feeling of emptiness after High Stakes. You were the one worrying about ‘back of the line’. You were the one talking about narratives that you had in your head, how you should’ve faced Amber one on one at High Stakes, how it should’ve been YOU winning the world title in the end and more or less, you were acting as if it was unfair that it didn’t turn out the way you did. You think that’s ancient history just because you’ve finally won that title, Roxi? It’s not. Because I know for a fact that all it takes is losing that world title for you to spiral and relapse back into those feelings all over again. You can’t deny it. You can’t diminish it. Imagine it Roxi… ALL of that time… ALL of that hard work you put in… ALL of what you overcame including your biggest personal demon in Roxi… to LOSE the world title in your first Supercard defense? Don’t lie to me. You know that wouldn’t sit well with you. Yet, you want to talk to ME about acting as if it’s not the end of the world if I lose at Into the Void? I have to hear THAT from the same woman that LITERALLY ACTED like losing to Amber at drawing with ME was the end of the world? I have to hear that from the same person that’s complained about ‘one title shot a year’ in the past like it was this big injustice and the end of the world? Like I’ve been TRYING to tell you, I GET IT… but just because I get it doesn’t mean I wholeheartedly agree with it all. I GET that it was about Amber for you, I GET that you wanted to win the title from HER specifically. Yet YOU want to tell me NOT to act like it’s the end of the world if I lose?

YOU… the same person that wasn’t satisfied for MONTHS, who went into our previous one on one encounter… expressed all this fear and worry and bitterness about being ‘forgotten in the grand scheme of things’ which is the most utterly ridiculous thing you can even say at that point… wants to tell ME not to act that way? I’m not sugar coating here, I’m going to call it like it is. It’s utterly fucking ridiculous, Roxi… especially since after I lost in the Blast from the Past finals, I did EXACTLY what you did after High Stakes and that’s push myself HARDER to get to this point and say “hell with this, I’m not letting ANYONE deny me again”. Did I EVER act like losing Blast from the Past was the end of the world? Tell me Roxi. Name ONE fucking time I EVER acted like the sky is falling over Blast from the Past this year. You can’t. You can’t even say that my attitude since then with my ‘not being denied anymore’ mantra is that because if you DID, YOU would be the one looking like a hypocrite, Roxi because THAT is EXACTLY how you behaved after that triple threat loss that devastated you so damn much. YOU were the one going into our last one on one encounter months ago, that made this BIG WHOOP about how our last match was ‘starting over’ for you as if all if the ‘hard work’ you did meant nothing and how losing to me was going to be this ultra, mega devastating setback for you that was going to mean ‘back of the line’ and ‘being passed up’... but you want to LECTURE ME about acting like a loss isn’t the end of the world?

Hell, if I’m not mistaken, I think the match we had is the last significant match you’ve had in SCW that had an outcome that WASN’T a victory so I KNOW that’s not ancient history because you haven’t had to face a loss since High Stakes and honestly? That’s going to be where you’re REALLY going to be tested Roxi because it’s the LOSSES, it’s the SETBACKS, it’s the WALLS that you hit that show the content of your true character and the way I responded to Blast from the Past PROVES that I’m stronger than you because I reacted SO much better to my last loss than you did in yours and yet, you want to walk around here acting like you’ve got it all figured out, that you have me figured out, that you suddenly think you’re going to get the same Myra that you got eight months ago? It’s like you haven’t been paying attention to the way I’ve been since our draw. It’s like you want to stay stuck on this vision of me that you remember because honest to god, we don’t interact very much and we haven’t gotten to know each other on a personal level. It’s like you didn’t pay attention to the fact that after Violent Conduct, I DID do the EXACT same thing YOU expressed worry and fear of…

I DID step back…

I DID start over!

I started from the BOTTOM all over again, the same BOTTOM that I had been put in after Violent Conduct and the same bottom that you kept me in when you beat me. I embraced the challenge of the Chamber of Extreme. I faced Jessie at High Stakes when MOST Bombshells of the same stature that I’m in would hardly give her the time of day because they think they’re ABOVE facing someone like her. I ACCEPTED the same grind that YOU openly put down, rejected, complained about, worried about, going into our last match against each other facing wrestlers like Char Kwan to close out the year, having to face someone like an Adrienne Beaufort on the first Supercard of the new year to CONTINUE to prove myself and to CONTINUE to build myself back up. I ACCEPTED that grind from square one that YOU decided you DIDN’T want to deal with again and I embraced it with flying colors up until the Blast from the Past tournament when I put myself in that conversation for the title again… the same tournament that by the way, you decided NOT to be part of. I don’t know your reasons why you didn’t partake in the tournament, and maybe you had a good reason, but in any case, I took on that challenge of that tournament that you didn’t. And to top it ALL off, I did it under the shadow of a 30 year old pain that I’ve FINALLY started to heal from in the death of my mother that took me an eternity to accept. The fact that I’ve accomplished what I have IN SPITE of that, IN SPITE of my personal demons, conquered and unconquered, in SPITE of the adversity that has been thrown in my way? Not just in Sin City Wrestling, but my whole career? I KNOW that makes me a stronger woman. The fact that I took on that journey from square one you DIDN’T want to take on and made it all the way back to THIS point makes me the stronger woman.

You beat me, and you lit a fire in me… one that I’m afraid is going to come back and burn down your title reign MUCH sooner than you want it to. My perspective changed because of THAT match and THAT match is what pushed me to become the stronger, better person that you are facing at Into the Void. It’s so UNBELIEVABLE that you’re trying to make me PROMISE something like that when you consider that when you beat me before, I DIDN’T act like it was the end of the world then either. YOU of all people should know better than that. You’re so damn busy having tunnel vision about your own journey and being so damn hyper focused on Amber, on the world title, and whoever your opponent is in front of you that you may not even know the Bombshells division that you’re the champion of now that you should. If you DID? Maybe you’d know me better than you actually do. My perspective on everything has changed for the better Roxi and I don’t need to prove that to you, or to anyone else. The only two people I am responsible for proving that to are myself and my daughter. Period!  Nobody knows me better than I do and if you want to stay stuck on the Myra you knew in late 2021, hey be my guest and make winning the world title that much easier for me because you and I both know you have a history of staying stuck in history and not recognizing the growth of another person. Were you NOT the same woman that defended the title against Crystal and LOST to her after you spent like 90 percent of your promo going into that defense worrying so damn much about her past? You didn’t focus on 2020 Crystal, you focused on 2015 Crystal, acting like you were facing THAT version of her and yet, I don’t remember you ever acknowledging that as a mistake. You sure haven’t learned from it considering you’re making the same damn mistake against me.

I’ve gotten to where I am because I have a track record of facing and overcoming my fears, facing and overcoming my demons and being able to show my daughter that you can overcome anything. Yeah, I WANT that damn world title. It’s not even about completing my career resume at this point. It’s not about living up to my mother’s legacy. It’s about my daughter and showing her that you can overcome ANYTHING that is thrown in front of her and showing her that you can accomplish ANYTHING you set your mind to. THAT is why I want that title, Roxi. I made a promise to her that I was going to be the SCW Bombshells World Champion ‘someday’ and ‘someday’ IS Into the Void, there’s no fucking denying that and there’s no denying me! Even if you do win, you’re NOT denying me because I WILL continue to come back stronger and I WILL continue to come back better UNTIL I win that title and fulfill that damn promise to my daughter. I’m NOT staying stuck in 1992 trying to live up to the superhero my mother was to me, I’m FINALLY learning how to be that same superhero, if not a better one, for my daughter!

Into the Void? I SHOW YOU to your face not just how much stronger I’ve become since our last encounter, but how much stronger than YOU I’ve become! You can dispute that all you want to, but your old words and actions don’t lie. YOU are the one with more to lose than I am. YOU are the one that has the pressure on them. YOU are the one that was so fixated on Amber, you never stopped to think about ‘well, what am I going to do when I win that title?’ and it’s THAT lack of perspective, compared to MINE anyway, that’s going to be your BIGGEST downfall! You’re the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water that doesn’t even know the water is boiling yet, Roxi. You got your fucking wish. You got your match against Amber and you won. Great. Congrats. Come Into the Void, you’re going to experience what a REAL superhero in wrestling does and that’s EMBRACE the journey from square one… not that YOU don’t… just… that I do it BETTER than you do!

When I win that title from you, you’re going to realize that. Sadly for you, ‘superhero’, by the time you do? It’ll already be too late….

Offline Roxi Johnson

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Re: World Bombshell Championship: Roxi Johnson (c) v Myra Rivers
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2022, 06:36:27 PM »
{The scene opens at the Tampa police department the day after the man tried to break into Roxi and Keira’s home. Roxi sits with an officer, going through her home security footage of the man. Once the footage is reviewed, the officer, an older gentleman, cleans his glasses and puts them back on his face and sighs.}

 

Officer – Well, this is a good start, it is a good thing you have a security system set up. From this, it’s very hard to create a profile, I’ll be honest here. He’s clearly wearing a mask, and the night-vision makes it a little difficult to narrow down any features. 

 

Roxi – Officer...

 

Officer – Jones.

 

Roxi – Right, Jones. I do have more information, as I said. I can’t describe his face, but I do know other details.

 

Officer Jones – Oh? What have you got?

 

{Officer Jones pulls out a pen and paper, and begins to write notes as Roxi talks.}

 

Roxi – He's roughly … 5’10, 5’11” maybe. Well over 200 pounds, and he smells.

 

{Officer Jones raises an eyebrow at the last remark.}

 

Roxi – No, I mean, really smells.

 

Officer Jones – Anything else?

 

Roxi – He came to my gym earlier in that day, Then, he came to an autograph session I was holding, and THEN he was following me in the park by my house.

 

Officer Jones – Are you sure it was the same person?

 

Roxi – You don’t forget the smell.

 

Officer Jones – Okay, I understand. But are you also insinuating this man is stalking you?

 

Roxi – I have to believe so. I could see him coming to the gym and to the public signing. Those are open to the public, but the fact that the same man was not only following me in me neighborhood, but then turns up trying to break into my house? That’s more than a coincidence.

 

Officer Jones – That's fair enough. We will send a patrol around the area for the next week or so. We’ll keep an eye out for any suspicious activity.

 

Roxi – No one else has come forward to report this man?

 

Officer Jones – I'm not sure if it’s the same man, but you came up with the most evidence of this. Things like this are a common occurrence sadly. But, if the man ends up triggering your alarm again, don’t hesitate to call us, and we will be over. You have my word.

 

Roxi – I just have a theory that he’s looking for me, or my family. I just figured he would have continued to try and break into houses looking for mine.

 

Officer Jones – It's possible he did, and it just hasn’t been reported.

 

Roxi – Well, if you hear anything, please let me know.

 

Officer Jones – We sure will.

 

{Roxi shakes the officer’s hand and she departs, her work seemingly done. Roxi exits the police station, but she is now paranoid, looking around and feeling watched at every moment. She finally pulls her hooded sweatshirt up, along with a completely out of place baseball cap, as she heads off, the scene fading.}

 




 

{Roxi then appears at her old friend Amy Jo Smyth’s house, but even with AJ’s house way out in the sticks, and on her own land, Roxi still feels the need to look around and check, before she knocks on AJ’s door. After a while, AJ does answer, the same slightly annoyed look on her face.}

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Let me guess, you need me for something again?

 

Roxi – I need your advice. And I might need your protection.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Is that the reason you’re dressed like you’re in witness protection?

 

Roxi – Yes.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Wait... you’re serious?!

 

Roxi – Yes.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Okay, we clearly need to talk, come in, come in.

 

{AJ leads Roxi into the house and the two sit down AJ’s table, where AJ pours them both cups of coffee.}

 

Amy Jo Smyth – So, what the hell is going on?

 

Roxi – Keira and I have a stalker.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Uh, huh, so... I mean, can’t you guys like... handle that?

 

Roxi – I already have two people who I fear will eventually come back on day who know where I live. But I can’t, and Keira can’t just... dress up in costume and scare somebody away. Especially not someone like this guy.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Hmm... I kind of see your point, but yeah having a stalker is not good. 

 

Roxi – I just... I’m not sure exactly how this should be handled.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – I will handle it.

 

Roxi – What? How?

 

Amy Jo Smyth – You got a picture of the fucker? Because I will send that in to my contacts, and you will have some nice big guys in suits around your house and you won’t even know they are there. And neither with that guy.

 

Roxi – I think that’s a bit extreme.

 

{AJ gives Roxi a quizzical look.}

 

Roxi – Look, I don’t want the guy around me, or my family at all, but that’s like a big red flag that that’s exactly where we live.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Fine, you want me to shoot him for you? Because I’m not about to have some weird ass dude creeping on my friends. You are just as much my family in this whole thing.

 

Roxi – I just... wanted some advice on how you think I should handle it.

 

Amy Jo Smyth - Keep all your doors and windows locked. Make sure your alarm is active. Stay in the house. Close your curtains, stay to one general area in the house.

 

Roxi – AJ, I don’t want to be a prisoner in my own house.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Well, until this gets resolved, you can’t really ever be sure. This is just the precautions you have to take. I’m just trying to give you a heads up. 

 

Roxi – I don’t know. I just don’t know.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Look, those are the options in all reality. I can get some contacts to look into it and get some guys at your house, but otherwise, you have to lay low. If this guy is following you, and already tried your house, there’s no telling what he’s going to do.

 

Roxi – I suppose you’re right.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Do you have a gun in your house?

 

Roxi – No, of course not. Not with Nate being there.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Alright, fair enough, I’m just saying you should have something to protect yourselves. Tell you what, I will get a flight from Key West, and if you want, I will do my own patrol of your house.

 

Roxi – You don’t have to do that, AJ.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – The hell I don’t! You are family. You deserve the peace and protection anyone else gets.

 

{Roxi sighs, finally taking a drink of coffee as she ponders AJ’s offer about the whole situation.}

 

Roxi – I would feel better if you were around. I know I filed a police report and everything, but I don’t know if I can really trust that they will be there in time. 

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Roxi, you know that I will always do everything I can to help you, no matter what. You just have to make a choice on how you want this done. You can either tell me you want my help or you tell me how to help you. But given the situation, you can’t have both.

 

Roxi – I do want your help, I just don’t want you to go overboard.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Do I ever?

 

Roxi – All the time.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – But it helps, right?

 

Roxi – … Yes. Of course, it does.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Good, now you just show me the video, and we’ll get this figured out.

 

{Roxi pulls out her phone and she begins showing AJ the footage of the man trying to break into her house, as the scene fades.}

 




 

{The next few days come and go, and there is no sign, or messages on either Roxi or Keira’s phone regarding anyone coming near that house, at least at night. Roxi and Keira have been cooped up at home, doing as AJ asked, but obviously, there is unrest. Keira is shown pacing as Roxi sits on her phone.}

 

Keira – I'm getting so tired of this.

 

Roxi - I know, but it’s the best course of action.

 

Keira – But the school?! The Gym!

 

Roxi – That's why we have Angelica and Keri working there. That’s why they are being paid.

 

Keira – But it’s OUR school.

 

Roxi – And WE have to deal with something else first.

 

Keira – Wait... that reminds me, did we tell Keri and Angelica about that? 

 

Roxi – Yes. Keri was there.

 

Keira – Right, I’m sorry... It’s just... it’s been a lot lately.

 

Roxi – It's been a lot for all of us.

 

Keira – Only times like this do things pile on.

 

Roxi – It's just the way things are now.

 

Keira – I guess it’s just, we take this kind of stuff for granted. I mean, we spend so much time here and never really thought about the whole idea of not being able to leave.

 

Roxi – We can leave, it’s just getting back that the problem.

 

Keira – You still think he’s out there?

 

Roxi – I can feel it in my bones. He’s out there, probably scoping the neighborhood. Waiting to see if anyone comes out of this house. 

 

Keira – We might be playing right into his hands then.

 

Roxi – I know my mom has walked out the door a couple of times. Answered the door, things like that. She went out and got the mail. 

 

Keira – Yeah, but the mail still has OUR names on it.

 

Roxi – If he’s reading our mail, then he should have been here by now. Made the move.

 

Keira – I wonder if Keri or Angelica have seen that guy. You know what, I’m going to call her and find out.

 

Roxi – Okay.

 

{Keira slowly walks into another room and dials on her cell phone as Nate wanders in, a smile on his face as he plays with his tablet.}

 

Nate – Mommy, look what I did.

 

Roxi – That's really cool, Nate. 

 

{Roxi picks up Nate to sit with her on the couch and kisses him on the head.}

 

Roxi – I love you.

 

Nate - I love you too Mommy.

 

{Roxi and Nate play with Nate’s tablet as he plays some building games as Keira eventually comes back into the room, stopping herself from just blurting things out loud as she sees Nate.}

 

Keira – Oh uh... they haven’t heard anything.

 

Roxi – Okay. 

 

{Keira smiles and sits down next to Nate, also kissing him on the head.}

 

Keira - What are you doing?

 

Nate – I'm building this farm.

 

Keira – Oh, that sounds fun.

 

{The three are sitting down enjoying things until Roxi’s phone goes off, and an facetime request comes in.}

 

Roxi – Hang on, I’ll be back, I just have to take this.

 

{Roxi walks into the kitchen and sits down at the table, opening the request, coming from Aaron Baltasarsson.}

 

Aron – Hello, Roxi.

 

Roxi – Hey, Aron.

 

Aron – How are things holding up?

 

Roxi – As good as can be expected, I guess.

 

Aron – Any news about your unwelcome visitor?

 

Roxi – Not since the attempt. It’s been quiet, almost too quiet.

 

Aron – I trust that they will find the guy. It sucks that this is happening to you.

 

Roxi – Tell me about it.

 

Aron – At the very least, you have your dog there, yeah?

 

Roxi – Well, there’s two dogs, but I don’t know if Trixie is in any shape to be getting involved. All she does really is lay around. She’s old now.

 

Aron – That doesn’t mean she won’t do anything if worse comes to worse.

 

Roxi – I know. But hopefully we never get that far. 

 

Aron – What are you going to do about the Supercard? You can always leave Nate with Fenris and myself. We will take good care of him.

 

Roxi – I don’t know what I’m going to do just yet. As I said, I may end up bringing everyone to Greece, so that they are out of the house. I don’t like the idea of leaving my mother alone, or even with Nate there, if this guy isn’t caught by then.

 

Aron – Well, if you ever need anything from me, or my brother, you know we have your back.

 

Roxi – It's comforting to know that I do have so many people willing to have my back in a time of need.

 

Aron – Well, I’m pretty sure everyone knows you would do the same no matter who had a problem.

 

Roxi – I try my best.

 

Aron – Anyway, I don’t want to just put this guy back in your mind if you’ve had a few peaceful days.

 

Roxi – They're peaceful enough, but he is still out there, at least, nobody has told me anything.

 

Aron – Well you filed a police report, right?

 

Roxi – Yes, but the police can get busy, this is just an obsessed fan as much as I can tell.

 

{Aron seems confused by this statement.}

 

Aron – It wasn’t just a burglar?

 

Roxi – No. He came to the Team Hero gym and tried to hide. And then he came to our signing, wanting a ton of things signed and taking a bunch of pictures. And then he followed me when I was walking Buster.

 

Aron – It sounds a lot more serious than just an obsessed fan, Roxi.

 

Roxi – I guess I just never imagined this happening is all. 

 

Aron – Well, you are a superhero, right? I’m sure if he busted through that door you’d go full Batman on his ass.

 

{Roxi chuckles at this.}

 

Roxi – Uh, something like that, maybe. Again, I hope it doesn’t come to that and we can get this resolved without anything happening.

 

Aron – Well, again, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call. We can easily make arrangement for you.

 

Roxi – I know. I appreciate it. 

 

Aron – Well, I don’t want to keep you, just... stay safe, and safe travels. We’ll see you when you get here. All of you if need be.

 

Roxi – Absolutely. Thanks Aron, I mean it. It means a lot to me.

 

Aron – That's what friends are for.

 

Roxi – I'll see you in Athens.

 

Aron – Take care.

 

{Roxi ends the facetime and goes back into the living room, sitting down with Keira and Nate again as the scene fades.}

 




 

{Finally settling in for the night, Roxi and Keira are watching TV, with Nate struggling to stay awake, as he rests against Roxi, and she casually runs her fingers through his hair. Roxi’s mother comes into the room and she sees Nate half asleep and comes over to him.}

 

Elizabeth – I think it’s time for you to get in bed, young man.

 

Nate – I'm not tired.

 

Elizabeth – Oh, I know, I can see you’re wide awake. Come on.

 

{Elizabeth picks up Nate who is nearly passed out anyway as Roxi blows him a kiss. Nate tries, but yawns, blowing kisses to Roxi and Keira.}

 

Roxi – Goodnight, Nate.

 

{Nate gives a wave as Roxi and Keira wave back and Elizabeth takes Nate into his room. Roxi turns to Keira and shrugs.}

 

Roxi – I think we might want to follow suit.

 

Keira – Yeah, I suppose.

 

Roxi – It's just been –

 

{Roxi is interrupted by a loud bang at the front door. Her phone immediately brings the alert.}

 

“Someone is at your front door.”

 

{Roxi nor Keira need to pull up the alert to see that it is the same man outside their door, and the loud bang is him, kicking in the door for all he’s worth. Roxi quickly goes to the bed room where Elizabeth is confused, Buster is barking, and Nate looks worried.}

 

Nate – Mommy, what’s that noise?

 

Roxi – It’s okay, Baby. Stay in here, lock the door, and call the police.

 

Nate – Mommy?

 

{Elizabeth nods as Roxi walks away from the doorway, and she closes the door and locks it.}

 

Nate – Gramma, what’s the matter?

 

Elizabeth – It's okay, Nate. Mommy and Mama will take care of it.

 

{In the living room, Roxi and Keira stand ready, as the large man kicks the door and finally it goes off the hinges and falls down. The large man, in his white hoodie, is there surgical mask over his face, and is brandishing a gun.}

 

Man – I knew it! I found you!

 

Roxi – You need to leave.

 

Keira – Before you get hurt.

 

Man – NO! YOU DID THIS TO ME! YOU REJECTED ME!

 

{The man fires a shot into the air, going through the ceiling, and thankfully, no one is upstairs.}

 

Man – You are supposed to accept me! I don’t have anything but TEAM HERO! AND NOW YOU HAVE TURNED ON ME!

 

Roxi – Look, I don’t know who you are, but do you really think this is the best way to go about this?

 

Keira – You clearly need some help. 

 

Man – I TRIED! I TRIED AND YOU REJECTED ME! YOU DIDN’T SIGN MY STUFF! YOU PUSHED ME AWAY LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE! 

 

Keira – We were trying to be nice.

 

Man – YOU ARE LIARS! But now... now I have everything I need! I found you! We can be together now! We should have always been together!

 

Roxi – This is not okay, and you know that.

 

Man – This is what I have to do! This is what YOU MADE ME DO! You have to be punished!

 

Keira – What?! We didn’t make you do anything! You tried to hide in our gym! You tried to get more than the allowed number of pictures and signings. You can’t just break the rules! 

 

Man – YOU. LEFT ME. YOU ABANDONED ME. MY HEROES!

 

Roxi – Okay, stop, stop, listen to yourself. You feel like we let you down, right? If we did, I’m sorry. But you have to know, deep down, deep down that this isn’t right. This isn’t how you should be doing this. You broke into our house and your threatening us with a gun. All this is going to do is make sure you either wind up in jail, or in a mental hospital.  We... we don’t even know your name.

 

Man – Because I’m nobody to you.

 

Keira – And if you do anything crazy... you’ll still be nobody. Think about it. We have normalized not giving the bad people in life the recognition they are after. If that’s what you’re after, you’re not going to get it.

 

Man – No! I will be FOREVER REMEMBERED! I WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY, ALONG WITH TEAM HERO! BECAUSE TONIGHT! TONIGHT... WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

 

{From the corner of her eye, Roxi can spot the police, and what looks like a swat team forming up, and Roxi continues to hold her hand up, trying to keep the man at bay.}

 

Roxi – You don’t want to do this....

 

Man – YES I DO!

 

{The man again aims his gun at Roxi and Keira prepares to step in front, but Trixie despite her age, leaps into action and bites the man on the arm. The gun drops to the floor and the SWAT team moves in, guns drawn and aimed at the man on the ground. Roxi pulls Trixie off of the man, as she softly barks. The man is surrounded and tries to make a move, but he is dog piled on and handcuffed. A SWAT person comes up to Roxi, taking off their helmet and mask as the man is lead away, revealing themselves to be... Amy Jo Smyth.}

 

Roxi – AJ!

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Are you guys okay?

 

Keira – Yeah... 

 

Roxi – … Thanks AJ.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – I told you I’d do anything I could. That was a bit of a rush, I have to say. Is anybody hurt?

 

Roxi – Nobody was upstairs, that was the only shot fired, thankfully.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Well... they’re more than likely gonna need to question you guys about this, so just be prepared to make a statement. 

 

Roxi – Of course. Again... thank you.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Always.

 

{Roxi returns to the bedroom leading to Nate’s room where Buster is still loudly barking, checking on Nate and Elizabeth.}

 

Roxi – Are you okay?

 

Nate – Mommy! Mama!

 

{Nate runs to Roxi, who hugs him tightly, Keira also right there.}

 

Roxi – Don't worry baby, it’s over.

 

Elizabeth – Are you sure?

 

Roxi – He’s gone.

 

{The family share a group hug and the relief of the moment as the scene fades.}

 




 

{The next morning is a weird on, but the added stress is gone. Roxi walks outside with coffee in her hand, as Keira joins her.}

 

Roxi – Weird, isn’t it?

 

Keira – Like I said, we took this for granted. 

 

{Roxi and Keira hold each other, as Roxi’s phone goes off, Roxi looks down and sees the number. She quickly picks up.}

 

Roxi – AJ?

 

Amy Jo Smyth - Just checking on you guys after last night.

 

Roxi – It's weird, but we’re okay.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Well, I also have information after last night.

 

Roxi – Oh?

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Your stalker’s name was Nick, Nick Powers. And he is now dead.

 

Roxi – Wait, what?

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Hung himself in his cell last night. They found all the information on him and... Well... I think your alter ego needs to check it out.

 

Roxi – Oh?

 

Amy Jo Smyth – It's... something. I’ll text you the address.

 

Roxi – Alright.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Sad story. Anyway, I don’t want to keep you. Just, when you can...

 

Roxi – I'll check it out.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – I'm just glad you’re okay.

 

Roxi – Thanks to you. 

 

Keira – We owe you one.

 

Amy Jo Smyth – Yeah, you owe me a lot. I’m keeping score.

 

{AJ hangs up on that note as Roxi and Keira look at each other.}

 

Keira – Do you even want to check this out?

 

Roxi – I'm not sure. Maybe it’s best left unseen.

 

Keira – AJ said we should, though.

 

Roxi – Maybe... to fully understand everything.

 

{Keira sighs and nods, and the two head inside to get into costume as the scene fades.}

 




 

{Later, the two arrive at the apartment of Nick Powers. There is still police caution tape up, but the apartment is all locked and the house is empty. However, the on the fire escape side, the window is open. Roxi and Keira move in and go through the window, and the smell overpowers them.}

 

Roxi – Never want to smell that again.

 

Keira – You said it.

 

{The apartment is a total mess, with food containers and various bits of trash all over the place. Flies and roaches are everywhere, the putrid smell of rotting food and other thing mixed in. But it’s not just that, that catches Roxi and Keira’s attention.}

 

Kiera – Look...

 

{Keira points to the wall in the back corner, and over the dilapidated couch, is a shrine to Team Hero. Various pictures of Roxi and Keira, some of them taken without them even noticing. Signed pictures, memorabilia, all of it there.}

 

Keira – Good god...

 

{A closer inspection however reveals that Nick at some point began carving out their eyes, drawing frowny-faces on them or carving jagged lines into their faces, with the words “FAKE” and “FRAUD” and “LIAR” written on them. Roxi looks, sighing and lowering her head.}

 

Roxi – Unreal.

 

Keira – We didn’t...

 

Roxi – In his mind... we did. And sometimes... that’s all it takes.

 

Keira – He really was crazy...

 

Roxi – This is what obsession looks like. Hopefully, we never see it again.

 

{The two take one last look at the shrine, before they depart, and the scene fades one last time.}

 

 




 

“You'll never be Superman. Because you have no idea what it means to be Superman. It's not about where you were born. Or what powers you have. Or what you wear on your chest. Its about what you do...Its about action."   

- Superman (Infinite Crisis Vol 1 7)

 

It’s tough a lot of the time to deal with someone who has lost their grip on reality, and having to tell them the truth about the situation. Because the first thing you really have to stand up and tell them is “no”. You cannot reward or give into their behavior when they begin to become defensive and point the finger back at you. “You did THIS, so therefore, I should be able to do something similar.” It’s like arguing with a child. That's what dealing with someone who is obsessed and addicted is like. My own mother was addicted to alcohol. And that tore my family apart. My parents separated. My sister and I lost contact. An addiction doesn’t care about the bonds of a family, it doesn’t care about people’s lives. And an addict takes on those characteristics. 

 

What Myra Rivers is doing now, is the textbook definitions of addiction and obsession. When it has this the grip on you like it does Myra, you begin to rationalize everything, and everyone who is actually trying to assist you, is made the enemy. Addicts will lie, they will manipulate and deceive people. Because they are all about getting what they want, and trying to make anyone denying them what they really want into the bad guy. Once that takes hold, every little thing will be a slight against them. And then, they resort to extreme measures if they don’t get what they want. It’s a classic case Myra has here, and it shows through in every word she has said.

 

You see, there’s nothing that I said last time that’s a lie. I didn’t make up facts about Myra’s constant speech about getting to the world championship and winning it. Go back to after Violent Conduct, and watch those episodes of Climax Control, and count how many times Myra Rivers stood in front of a camera and talked about being the World champion. It’s a dream, it’s what she’s striving for. It is ALL she is striving for. Go back and watch. Go back and listen. It’s the same.

 

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

 

Now, did I do the same thing? Yes. Once. I asked, no, let’s take it one step further, I begged for a one-on-one match, for the championship against Amber Ryan. And then, I said, okay, I will earn that match, and that was after what I felt I had rightfully earned already. I defeated every single person put in front of me for 2 months. And then? I obviously hadn’t earned that because I then had to go into a Fatal Four-way match against 3 people who did not have the number of wins I had, and then my one-on-one match, got turned into a triple threat, based on that result. 

 

And I lost that match.

 

You see how I had built up the wins, and then one match changed everything? I wanted what I felt I had earned. So, I challenged anybody, everybody to fight me and it got really quiet around SCW, except for Crystal, and Kat Jones. Those two people raised their hands and said “Yes, I will fight you.” And I respect them for that. A bunch of people in the peanut gallery had a lot to say, and then suddenly they were busy. Funny how that worked.

 

I wasn’t going to let that one match, be the one shot I got. Because it felt unfair. Unjust. It was as simple as that. Had I not gotten anything out of that, I would have felt slighted for... a little bit, yes. Who wouldn’t? But at the end of the day, I would have had to move on, earn it all over again. I just wanted what I felt I had earned. 

 

And, had I lost at Blaze of Glory, I would have been at least known, I’d taken my shot, and lost. Life would have gone on, but you would have heard nothing about losing from me, simply, what I have always said, and continue to say, even with this championship on my shoulder. 

 

“I am content, not satisfied. I want to get better.” 

 

Because I am chasing something different than championships. I’m chasing the idea of perfection. Something I cannot hope to achieve. Yes, right now, I am content, I am not satisfied, and if anyone knows me, they would understand that it is a state of mind. I could literally have every single Bombshell’s championship in my hand right now, and I would not be satisfied with it. Not because I want all the championships. But because I want to be the best I possibly can be. And that doesn’t solely include inside the ring.

 

I want to be the best wife, the best mother, the best friend, the best PERSON, I could possibly be. And I chase after that every single day. And I know right now, that’s never going to happen. Sometime, somewhere, I will lose friends, I will make mistakes and I will screw something up that somebody will end up hating my guts for. Yet, I still try.

 

If I wanted to right now, I could say, I’m done in SCW. I could walk away and go somewhere else. I have already done everything but win a Blast from the Past Tournament and mixed tag titles. I am already in the Hall of Fame. I already have the most wins, I already have or had numerous other records in SCW. And I am not satisfied as a person.

 

But this is what you have to do, when you are dealing with someone who does not see the forest for the trees.

 

But this is strangely sounding like a debate now. Actually, not a debate, a debate tactic. And I walked right into it.

 

Myra cannot justify anything I said, and I sat here and justified my actions. Now, all Myra is really set on doing and did, was muddy the waters enough. Enough to where she doesn’t have to win; she just has to not lose. This whole deal is now “Let’s not talk about the bad things I did, let’s instead talk about the bad things you did.” That is classic addict behavior. Turn and point the finger, get defensive. Deflect and dodge. 

 

I’ve dealt with it before. In my own family. So, I can see it coming and I know when someone tries to use it. I’ve heard the words and the same tired argument a lot. Nobody is perfect, but when you go out of your way to sound perfect, people can see through it. And being face to face with Myra, I heard that same tone, but I heard right at those moments, Myra Rivers was telling me, what she thought were all the right things.

 

As the old saying goes, I was born at night, but not last night. 

 

That is something that Myra has been really good at for long time. Telling people what she thinks they want to hear and passing it off as how she really feels. I’m not stupid, I know when someone is manipulating me, and this entire thing has been one of those times. Myra Rivers is only really looking forward to facing me because if she won the title from Seleana, then the whole thing would feel anti-climactic and she wouldn’t feel like she really won the title. You know, because Seleana isn’t a former world champion or anything. It has to be a big challenge. 

 

In the end, it doesn’t REALLY matter to her, she just wants the Bombshell’s championship. She’s just saying these things to make the win sound like she climbed a big mountain. I have respect for anyone, who managed to win this championship, because it takes a lot, and I mean, a lot of hard work and talent to win this championship given the level of competition. But in Myra Rivers misguided attempt to be noble, she has, of course, spit on anybody else who has won the championship that isn’t me, or Amber Ryan. 

 

Again, this is how someone thinks and speaks when they don’t fully understand what this is about, and they just guess about what makes them sound the humblest.  This is what Myra Rivers believes a true champion would say. She said on right there to my face that she was glad it was me, she was honored to face me. She wants to fight the biggest and the best, right? That’s what a good wrestler says, right? It is all exactly what she thinks she should say, but at the end of the day, none of that means anything. It’s empty and hollow. That’s the same language addicts and obsessives use. It’s the same language a DESPERATE person uses.

 

Because at the end of all of this, that’s what Myra Rivers is. And that’s by her own doing. She will not see herself as anything but a failure if she doesn’t walk out of Athens with this championship. Period. Cut and dry.

 

It may seem to Myra, and maybe to other people, that I’m being harsh. That I’m trying to bring her down and make her seem like she’s doing something she’s not. I have praised Myra plenty of times, I told her from the beginning when I won the Bombshell’s title that she would be right there to challenge me, because she is a top contender. But I have to call it like I see it. I have to be objective in what I see. I can praise Myra, but I also have to call attention to what is happening currently. It may seem like I’m being too rough, but the reality is, I’m trying to help her. I’m trying to tell her the truth, because maybe I’m the only one who is willing to tell her the truth. It’s not like I haven’t been in this position before. Throughout my career, people have turned on me, decided one day to start hating me and blamed me for every issue they’ve ever had. And then, I bring them back to reality. This is what I’m doing, yet again. I am trying to open her eyes to all that’s around her, and all that she has, instead of what she doesn’t have. Her eyes are so narrow and fixed on this championship that it’s not healthy. 

 

Let me give a recent example of what I’ve been talking about. 

 

And let me say all this before Myra stands in front of all you at Into the Void and offers a rebuttal to every single thing I say. Because I’ve seen that before too. I’m already going to give Myra the last word on this, so if she could spare all of us the monologue about how I am wrong for this reason or for that reason, it would be much appreciated. 

 

Anyway...

 

You know, the NFL draft was just two weeks ago. And if you know anything about football, you know that you can be a low draft pick, or even undrafted, and still be able to play in the NFL and do well, and on the flip side, you can be a high draft pick and flame out. That’s just what happens. Sometimes the highly drafted guys pan out and do great, lots of times they don’t. But do you know what all of those kids have in common right now?

 

They get to play at the highest level. 

 

They get to play against great players, hall of fame level players. You are playing at the professional level and you get the opportunity to shine on some really, really bright stages. It’s something I am sure every single person who ever got to that level, treasures. It’s an accomplishment in itself. Because I did the research and there’s pretty much 1900 players in the NFL on teams, at any given time. Think about for a second, how many players are TRYING to play in the NFL, and there’s only 1900 that can do it. That’s an elite group of people. That’s a special group of people. 

 

And a lot of them, are in an out of the NFL in 3 years. That’s the average length of an NFL career.  And with all that, someone like Myra Rivers comes along and says, it you don’t make it to the Super bowl and win, you must not be very good. Because that is what she has equated her career to. It’s been long, it’s been very successful. But rather than enjoying it, rather than seeing her career for what it is, she is now convinced that not winning this championship means she was never at the professional level. Not world title material.

 

And that, is not only ridiculous, it’s borderline offensive. 

 

Not everybody gets to the where I am, or Myra Rivers is. It’s not a right, it’s a privilege to get to do what we do at the level we get to do it at, and that’s why my biggest battles are with myself, striving to get better. The number of championships I have won are a testament to my work. But there’s many championships I never won, and things I never accomplished. That’s where you come to a choice you have to make. Are you going to let those things you didn’t do, be your legacy? Or will your legacy be about what you did do? 

 

Myra has obviously chosen the former. She has defined herself as the woman who “can’t win the big one.” No one else is saying that about her. So, for her, there is invisible group of naysayers. And so, this is about one thing, and one thing only. Win or go home.   

 

And it puts me in the position to send Myra home empty handed. Not because I take pleasure in seeing her fail. Not because I’m trying to ruin her legacy. But because I earned this championship, and I’m not about to let someone come in and take it from me, because they feel like they have no other option. I want to feel bad for Myra, having come so close and be it bad luck or something else, it doesn’t happen. But I really can’t when it’s all I have heard about for close to a year. Do you think any pro athlete wants to hear all the time that they didn’t win the big one? Do you think that anyone wants to be reminded of their failures? And vice-versa, would any of you want to hear from any pro athlete you hear speaking that didn’t win a championship, is that they didn’t win a championship? That’s all I heard about from Myra Rivers, and at this point, I cannot feel bad, because it’s what Myra has used to define her own career.

 

There’s a lot of other accomplishments Myra can feel great about. She has won a lot more matches than pretty much half the roster in the Bombshell’s division for the past year. She’s won multiple championships. She has a lot to be very proud of. But instead, she focuses on the negatives.

 

At Into the Void, I’m going to beat Myra Rivers, and retain this championship, and Myra can hopefully actually be proud of this accomplishment. Hopefully, we can have a great match, one that she can show people and say “I did that.” But I refuse to let this be Myra’s crowning moment, just because she thinks she deserves it for coming up short before. 

 

Myra told me to my face she’d be okay with that result.

 

At Into the Void, we’re going to put it to the test. I am tired of having smoke blown up my ass, I’m tired of the walking back of ridiculous notions and I’m tired of the excuses. There will be no excuses when I beat Myra Rivers at Into the Void.

 

Only, that she was beaten by a better wrestler. Period.

 

And I will do my damnedest to cure this obsession.

 

I will see you all there, 

 

And I will see you there as well, Myra.
<img src=http://rockstarrj.webs.com/newroxibanner.jpg> </img>

Myra Rivers

  • Guest
The Final Test: Part 2
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2022, 11:50:01 PM »
“Healing from such a deep seated pain that has lasted 30 years is not an easy task. But once I accepted that it was time to let go and move on, I decided to quit being a victim and start being a champion. I decided to quit mourning my mother every Mother’s Day, instead choosing to celebrate what I have…”

5-8-2022

Touching down in Miami, I was feeling warm heading into the lobby of the airport. I could feel that my heart was slowly healing from the grief that had experienced over my mother’s death for the past 30 years. Normally, Mother’s Day would sadden me. But today? I decided that I was going to make a much needed change…

“No more is this day going to be a burden on me. It’s never again going to remind me of what I don’t have. I know I am better than that now and I know that I have to heal from my mother’s passing and changing my perspective about this day and seeing what it is all about is one of the first steps of doing this…”

I was feeling a determination to heal and move forward at last when I saw my sister Adrianna and daughter Kimberly in the distance. Seeing Kimberly again after missing her on the Greece tour further warmed my heart. I walked up to them, with Kimberly specifically not suspecting a thing. When I got within a few feet, Kimberly turned toward me and her eyes completely lit up.

“MOM!?!?!” she exclaimed with joy! “You’re HERE!”

“Of course!” I said as I kneeled on the floor, giving Kimberly the opportunity to run up to me and give me a huge hug. This moment was all that mattered to me. I wasn’t thinking about SCW or my wrestling career. Sharing this day with my daughter meant the most out of anything going on in my life right now. “I wasn’t going to miss this day…”

We broke our embrace and we locked eyes.

“I’ve been doing some thinking while I’m gone… about you and me. As I’ve said to you so many times, you are the most important thing in my world. Everything that I do is for you and not even a tour in another country just before a big match was going to stop me from spending Mother’s Day with you. I’m ALWAYS going to move heaven and earth for you, Kimmy.”

Kimberly’s eyes shined brighter as I continued to pour some loving words to her. I was beginning to notice that I was feeling this great joy I had never experienced before.

“You are my inspiration. You are exactly why I do what I do. You have no idea how much our bond means to me. You have no idea how much of a desire to have that bond between you and I continue to grow stronger with time. Now, more than ever, that bond is important to me. Gosh, there are so many things I want to do for you as you get older and there are so many moments I want to experience with you. I want to show you the world. I want to be by your side every step of the way. I know that I’ve had my dreams in the wrestling business and all, but Kimmy, my biggest dream of all is watching you grow up into the woman you are destined to be…”

Kimberly responds with another embrace, which I return.

“This is new…” Adrianna says with a smile. “...but it’s great to see. Did something happen in Greece?”

“I’ve been putting things into a greater perspective that’s all…” I responded as we broke our embrace.

“She wrote this for you by the way…” Adrianna said, causing Kimberly and I to both be surprised. It was a card that she wrote. I took it and I wasted no time opening it and reading it aloud.

“Happy Mother’s Day…” I read from what was already printed before getting to her handwriting. “I know that you fall sometimes… but that’s okay. You always stand up and you fight again. I don’t have the perfect mommy, but I have the best one. You are always going to be my hero…”

That warmth in my heart increased…

“Aw… adorable… hey, I have something for you too!” I paused, pulling a locket out of my purse. I took a bit of a breath when I opened it and I removed a picture of my mother and I, keeping it with me. I quickly replaced it with a picture of Kimberly and I being together before I closed and handed her the locket. Kimberly gasped with some happiness when I gave it to her.

“My mother gave this to me and I feel like now it’s the time to pass it down to you…”

Kimberly was incredibly happy when she opened the locket and saw the picture. She closed it and put it around her neck.

“...that locket that I just gave you represents the bond we’ll always share no matter what. Every Mother’s Day will be a celebration of that bond and how much stronger it’s going to get every year.”

As we exchanged a third embrace and mutual “I love yous”, I could suddenly feel that pain and grief in my heart over the death of my mother start to heal and start to fade. Deciding to make Mother’s Day a time to celebrate what I had with Kimberly instead of grieving what I no longer had with my own mother was certainly something that was helping me push through that pain. As the day went along and as I spent the entire day with Kimberly, I felt like I was seeing the light at the end of the dark tunnel I had been trapped in for so long.

Better yet?

I could only feel myself getting stronger and more ready to move forward and become the person and wrestler I am destined to be in my own right…

“This renewed feeling and purpose, refocusing my energies to a positive place… I can already feel this glow inside of me healing my heart from all the pain I’ve ever been through….”

5-9-2022

I was feeling nervous walking through a cancer care center the next day. Melanie, my soon-to-be head trainer for my upcoming wrestling school, was with me.

“It feels… eerie… to be here…” I admitted.

“I know it does considering this was the cause of your mother’s death. But, I wanted to show you that you can turn grief into something amazingly positive. There’s someone that I want you to meet…”

We stopped by one of the rooms.

“There’s a young lady in that room, big fan of yours, wants to be a wrestler, has no idea I set her up to meet you. She’s got an amazing story that I think is going to seriously help you along the way.”

I nodded, still feeling a bit nervous. Melanie walked in the waiting room and I stood by for a moment. She opened the door and nodded at me, signaling at me to walk in. When I walked in, the young lady saw me and she was shocked. I could tell right away she was about 18.

“...oh my god!!!! Is this real?” the young lady asked.

“Yes…” I said with a nervous chuckle. “...do I need to introduce myself or…”

“Like there’s a wrestling fan in Miami that DOESN’T know who Myra Rivers is…” Melanie says with a scoff before she leaves me alone with the teen.

“I’m Myra and…”

“Virginia…” the young lady said. “Oh my god I can’t believe this is real! I want to be a wrestler myself and it’s because of you and everything you’ve ever done for the business.”

“Thank you…” I said feeling touched.

“No, thank you! You’re such an inspiration to me especially lately considering my mom’s just out of surgery for a stage one cancerous brain tumor…”

She paused, looking sad at mentioning this.

“I don’t want to lose my mom…” she said with tears in her eyes.

“You won’t… believe in that. Virginia, my mother died of brain cancer…” I paused, watching her eyes widen. “It was really difficult for me to get through and even just now, I’m working on getting past it. If I can get through this, YOU can too. Your mother will get to see you live out your dream to be a wrestler, I promise.”

Virginia lets out a sigh of relief, feeling calmer.

“I WANT your mother to see you wrestle especially because mine never did! I’m rooting for both of you all the way. I want to help people like you going through this because I never want anyone to feel the pain that I did losing my mother to that awful disease…”

“I’m sorry about your mom…”

“Don’t be…” I assured her. “I know that a loved one going through this is an incredibly hard thing and I want to let you know that if I can do it, you can too. Seeing you broken up over your mother, understandably, hurts my heart because I really do feel your pain, Virginia. There’s so much that I want to do for you… and for anyone and everyone that’s going through what I went through. Your mother will be better, have faith in that…”

“Virginia?” I heard an older woman mutter behind the curtain we were standing in front of.

“MOM?!”

Virginia burst through the curtain and I turned to see her hug her mother, overjoyed to see her awake. Her mother saw me and looked surprised knowing who I was.

“Myra was just telling me not to worry and that you were going to live to see me wrestle one day!”

I was feeling incredibly happy for the young lady knowing that she wasn’t going to have to suffer what I went through. A doctor walks into the picture at this point. I was at a bit of a standstill as I watched him mention to the pair that the prognosis was great for a full recovery. Virginia and her mother celebrated as the doctor left.

“Hey, that’s not the only thing we’re celebrating…”

This caught Virginia’s attention as I pulled something out of my purse.

“Virginia, your story inspires me. I see you and… I’ll be honest, I see so much of me within you: that same fighting spirit, that determination to realize a dream, that desire to make her loved ones proud of her, a passion for what she believes in and I know that there’s something I’m about to do that’s going to really bring a smile to your face…”

I handed her a letter.

“You are the first official student of the wrestling school I am opening up in August. That scholarship right there makes ALL of your dreams come true!”

“...oh my god! Thank you SO MUCH!!!” Virginia exclaimed as she ran up and hugged me, nearly to the point of suffocation.

“You’re welcome and I’ll see you in August! If there is anything I can do to help with your mother’s fight against brain cancer, please tell me because I want to join that fight and I want to do everything it takes to help fight against this awful disease that took my mother from me.”

“I will never forget this, Myra. Thank you!!! It means the world to me more than anything that you can ever imagine.”

Virginia dried her eyes and I would spend a few more hours with her and her mother. My heart felt like it just healed even further knowing that instead of being a secondhand victim of the disease that took my mother, that I had joined the fight against it.

Doing what I could to help others overcome going through the same thing I did turned out to be a huge step in my personal healing process…

“I’m SO happy for you…”

5-11-2022

Face to face with my cousin Cindy for the first time since that explosive ZOOM therapy session I cut off, Cindy was beaming with pride hearing my Mother’s Day story and the story of how I helped Virginia through a difficult time going through the same thing I had.

“I’m glad that you’re turning the worst negative of your life into such positive things.”

“Same. Cindy, I want to grow my bond with my daughter and never take it for granted again. I want to help people… I want to inspire those dealing with what I did growing up. Never did I imagine I’d find a greater purpose than my wrestling career but… I’ve never felt so inspired making someone’s day like that… maybe even their life. Listen… about our last session… I’m sorry. You were right. I had to move on and let my mother go”

“No Myra, I’m sorry. Not that moving on isn’t true, but the way I went about it with you was rather harsh.”

“You have nothing to feel bad about. You were doing what you felt was the right thing for me.”

“I know, but I still feel terribly guilty about how I approached that subject. In fact, for days I had been looking for a way to make it up to you…”

“Cindy, you don’t have to make it up to me! It’s fine!”

“It’s not… and I found a way to make it up to you. There’s a surprise waiting for you at the door that I managed to arrange…”

I was immediately curious as I walked back toward the door of her office. Nervousness brushed by me for a fleeting second. When I opened it, I saw two women in their sixties along with younger adults standing behind them.

“Miranda?” one of the women asked and my eyes widened recognizing her voice.

“Aunt Anna?”

“Oh my god, it’s been so long!” my other aunt said.

“Thirty years too long Aunt Becky…”

I exchanged hugs with my two aunts as we all came back inside the room. It was the first time in 30 years I had seen my mother’s sisters.

“Your father was WRONG for separating you from your mother’s family after her funeral…” Cindy explained. “I felt like now was the time to do whatever it took to right it.”

“Cindy… thank you!”

I exchanged greetings with my cousins. While there was some mention of what they’d seen on television, they mainly talked about memories of having fun and playing board games before my mother’s passing.

“It feels like our family is complete again…” my Aunt Anna said, causing me to feel this amazing joy. “Thirty years… and wow… you’ve grown up to be such a beautiful young woman. You’re almost a spitting image of your mother!”

“We don’t ever want to lose you again…” my aunt Becky added. “You’ve always been a part of our family and we never forgot about you. Miranda, we felt the same grief you did when Trina passed away. It was so hard on all of us and your father separating us from you made that pain even worse. For years, we grieved and mourned… and then we saw you do what you do in that wrestling ring…”

“It was like we were watching your mother again…” aunt Anna added. “What you’ve done in that ring is what pulled us out of our grief and allowed us to be at peace and move forward. We’re here to help you through yours because nobody has suffered more from Trina being gone than you have.”

“I’m healing…” I admitted. “I’m getting there. “Hearing that my career has helped you heal is an amazing feeling. More than anything, I’m just so happy that you all never forgot about me. I wanted to find you for so long but I worried that you might hate me or something…”

“No… we could NEVER hate you…” aunt Becky assured me. “...or forget about you… not after you helped us with our pain. We’re forever grateful to you for that.”

“And I’ll always be grateful for the fact that today, you just returned the gift of healing from the same pain we all went through!”

A jolt of inspiration went through my heart as I turned toward Cindy.

“Cindy… I’m ready…” I said with a determined tone.

“...for?”

“To let go… to heal… to move on… to be the mother, the woman and the wrestler that I’m meant to be. I know that letting go is difficult… This is my mother we’re talking about. But, it’s for the best and just because I let her go doesn’t mean she doesn’t reside in my heart…”

“Exactly, cousin…” Cindy added as each of my aunts embraced me. “I have nothing else to add. I believe that there’s a family reunion in order. Spend time with them, Myra. Be a part of her family again and continue to be their inspiration!”

“I definitely will…” I said, as I left CIndy’s office with my aunts and my cousins to have that family reunion and become reacquainted with them. As I spent time with them, I could feel that burden I’ve always carried being lifted off of my shoulders. My heart felt the lightest it had in so long and once I parted ways with my family for the moment, I realized how ready I was…

…to say goodbye…

I imagined it in my head:

My mother and I standing by a tranquil waterfall.

My soul feeling like it was about to be cleansed.

Her smiling at me and delicately touching me in the face assuring me it was going to be okay.

“Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me…” I told her. “I’m ready now…”

“I’m happy for you sweetheart…” she said. “...you get to move forward with your life. You’ve become one hell of a woman and I’m always going to be proud of that. Now you get to be even stronger. After 30 years, you’ve finally healed from me leaving you too soon. I know it was hard, sweetheart, but you persevered and you passed your final test. You see it now, don’t you? The amazing, strong, incredible person that you are?”

I nodded, reassuring her of this.

“Then my work here is done…” she said. Tears formed in her eyes knowing that this was the moment that had to happen for my own sake. “...it’s time to live and let go…”

“Will I ever see you again?” I asked, naturally.

“I’ll always be in your heart, you know that. I promise you that one day, we’ll see each other again… and the next time we do? I promise you that nothing will ever keep us apart again. But, for now? It’s time for you to make your destiny a reality.”

“I’m going to win that wo…”

“No sweetheart, don’t dedicate your match to me. It’s not about me. It’s about you… it’s about Kimberly. It’s about those you inspire. Stay strong, honey. Keep believing in yourself and what you do… and remember… always fight until the very end…”

“You have my promise on all of that…” I said with confidence. Tears strolled down my mother’s eyes while I had grown strong enough to not cry at this point.

“I love you Miranda…”

“I love you too, mother… forever…”

We exchanged one final embrace before I snapped out of my imagination feeling the closure I had longed for.

5-12-2022

Places change in 30 years…

The road where my mother had suffered her accident was completely closed and in disrepair. Kimberly and I stood by the stump where the tree her car crashed in one stood. For years, every time I would think about being in this exact spot, I would always dread it. But now? I was feeling incredibly strong. This was the final step of the healing process visiting this exact spot.

“It’s time now…” I said as Kimberly and I made a memorial out of that tree stump. Bouquets of roses were left. Candles were lit. Kimberly and I stood arm in arm for a few moments as we spent some time remembering and memorializing my mother. “Your grandmother may have left me too soon, Kimmy. But there are so many stories that I can tell you… that I WILL be sharing with you. She was, without question, the best mother I could ever ask for and one of the sweetest, kindest, most caring people anyone could ever meet. Your grandmother always inspired me the same way I inspire you…”

Kimberly stood in awe as I placed the picture of my mother and I that I removed from what was now Kimberly’s locket and placed it front and center of the memorial.

“Grandma would always come play with me at night when I was smaller…” she mentioned, catching me by surprise. “...I think… were those dreams?”

“Even if they were, I believe it. She’d visit me all the time too. But now? I feel like she’s crossed over. She’ll always be special, Kimmy. Don’t forget that.”

“She was so pretty…” Kimberly adds, making me chuckle for a brief moment.

“I bet she still is, wherever she is…” I paused, feeling a chilling, yet calm presence in the wind. “...I feel like she’s even here right now watching us do this. Thank you for all that you’ve given me, mother. In one form or another, you’ll always be with me and I feel like I finally have the strength to move forward and be the best that I am ever going to be.”

There was a brief moment of silence for a while and as much as a part of me wanted to stick around, I knew that it was time to move on.

“It’s time, Kimmy.”

“Oh?”

“We’re headed home.”

“Oh…” Kimberly said with some sadness in her voice as she gently hung onto me. She let out a sigh as she looked back at the picture that I had left. “...bye grandma…”

Kimberly stepped back a bit as I turned toward the memorial. I briefly flashed back in my mind of all the amazing memories my mother and I had together and right away, I knew that I was no longer sad or grieving over what was lost, but that I was grateful and happy for what I had… that I can still have being the best mother to Kimberly that I could possibly be. My shoulders lightened further as I felt this great peace sweep me. Looking at the picture one more time, with a strong and sturdy demeanor: no tears, just confidence, I took one last breath and uttered the one word toward my mother that I was always afraid to say… until now…

“Goodbye…”

I turned away from the memorial and immediately I grabbed Kimberly’s hand. We walked away from the memorial at this point and I didn’t look back. The walk to my car wasn’t very long but when we got there, I picked up Kimberly and gave her the biggest hug I could ever give her. We both went into our car and I didn’t waste much time starting it and driving away.

I passed my final test…

I had let her go…

And finally?

I was able to move past my deepest, darkest grief and push ahead with my life with the inspirational knowledge that the best of me, in and out of that wrestling ring, was yet to come…

5-13-2022

The YouTube feed came on and I found myself in a house of mirrors hours before I was scheduled to fly from Miami to Athens. Roxi’s prior promo immediately sprung to my mind. Initially, as I looked around and saw all the mirrors, I didn’t know what to think about what she said. I was confused, but as those words marinated in my brain, I was tempted to feel anger. However, that temptation didn’t last long. I felt only one thing…

…pity…

And for a change, it wasn’t ME that I was feeling pity for. I was about to unleash it all on Roxi as I began to express my thoughts.

“Remember how you felt, Roxi? When you realized where Kat Jones really stood with you? What was the word? Disappointed! Hearing what you said disappoints me and I don’t say that to feel sorry for myself, I say that because it’s almost as if you were cutting that promo while looking into a mirror. What you said about me? Well for starters it was the pot calling the kettle black. I say this not because I hate you and not because I want to make you the bad guy as you so eloquently thought I was going to say. I say this because in my view, it’s the truth. I heard you question me and I heard you express doubt about the things I said to you and about you. You raised doubt about me and for what? So you can make a point and make a villain out of me that doesn’t exist? When I heard you say what you say, I heard the words of someone that is about to lose their world title and is honestly way more afraid of me than they care to admit. Fear is what drives us to say and do stupid things Roxi. Fear is something that drives us to lose perspective on what is really important. One of the BIGGEST things that I got listening to you talk is that you don’t even KNOW ME AT ALL! Don’t get me wrong, your words were on point and right on the money… if you said those words to me eight months ago that is. I was SHOCKED that you showed how OUT OF TOUCH you were with your challengers and especially FLOORED by the fact that the so-called “superhero” has become the Bombshells division’s Harvey Dent…

I guess that’s fitting isn’t it, Roxi? Considering how two-faced you showed yourself to be in your promo.

What you said CONFIRMS to me that you DON’T have the heart that I do to win this  match and that’s not just me talking out of my ass. A champion is someone that takes the time to KNOW THEIR OPPONENTS and considering the fact that you came after me with stuff that is no longer true or relevant, then it’s clear that you don’t know me at all and that you clearly lack perspective. You know why what I said about my setbacks confused you, Roxi? Because you haven’t even BOTHERED to take the time to know me or to follow my journey over the last eight months. I’ve been saying for a while now that I USED to let setbacks and bad breaks define me, ESPECIALLY last year, but that since I became the Rebellious Vixen again, I’ve STOPPED letting them define me. Case in point with Blast from the Past, for the TWO-FACE in the back. If you actually BOTHERED to know me and my journey, you wouldn’t be so ‘confused’. You have NEVER acknowledged the progress I’ve made in the last eight months or even REALIZED it even exists. I don’t need your validation, Roxi, don’t get me wrong there. But as a fucking WORLD CHAMPION how the HELL do you come at me acting as I’m the same person I was last fall when for MONTHS, my actions have proven the OPPOSITE! Ask Max Burke about my journey. Hell, even ask Andrea for god’s sake yet for SOME reason you want to stay STUCK on what I USED to be eight months ago. Hey, I guess you needed a reason to turn me into a villain, right? You need to look in the mirror, Roxi, and you’ll see the OBSESSED person there. You can’t call ME “obsessed” when you were SO OBSESSED with beating Amber one on one for the title that you CLEARLY weren’t paying attention to what is going on around you and CLEARLY you weren’t paying attention to ME! A champion that has a heart is ABOVE having that type of tunnel vision. While you were OBSESSING over Amber, I evolved and grew into something that with your words, you CLEARLY proved that you’re not ready for.

You must be a Green Day member because you clearly think it’s still September!

YOU want to tell ME that it’s about making up for not winning the title? WOW! First off, when have I EVER said ANYTHING about making up for not winning the title? Point that promo out to me, Roxi because I NEVER expressed such a thing. Additionally, if you’re the champion you SAY you are, you would’ve taken the initiative to know me and to know that I’ve moved WAY beyond “redeeming myself for my past”. This match and this world title isn’t about redemption for me. Get the hell out of the time machine and join us all in 2022, damn it! Sure, I’ve expressed desire to be world champion and I’ve ramped up the drive and the intensity… but that’s what YOU DID after you lost at High Stakes. YOU kept JUSTIFYING THAT, Roxi… while everyone jumped down your throat for it. NOW, you want to do the same thing to ME that everyone else did to YOU that you BITCHED and MOANED so damn much about promo after promo ending 2021 and starting 2022? YOU can keep up the fight, but not ME? YOU keeping up the fight is PASSION, HEART, DESIRE, BEATING AMBER… but ME keeping up the fight after Blast from the Past is OBSESSED, HORRIBLE, WRONG, EGO…

Do as I say, not as I do, right Roxi? Criminy! What the hell is the matter with you? In fact, what the hell has happened to you? It’s not just the fact that you’re out of touch with ME, you’re out of touch with SCW in general. I mean, isn’t that always why you bring up Crystal’s past from 5 years ago or whatever every time you face her? Isn’t that way you bring up stuff from years ago with just about every opponent you faced even though said opponent has grown, changed and evolved? It’s like you have this notion of someone and no matter how untrue it has become overtime, you stay stuck on it like… dare I say… an OBSESSION! You’re OBSESSED with painting me as your villain and it’s quite pathetic and even worse is that you base this painting of me on who I was months ago that I have since grown and evolved from. For instance, ‘black and white scenario’.

In September? True… but that’s SEPTEMBER, ROXI!

Did you even WATCH the Blast from the Past tournament? Because it was NEVER about redemption for me. It was about showing that I had learned from my shortcomings and that I was ready to take that next step again. It was NEVER black and white. I got back to the finals just MONTHS after I hit rock bottom here and did I spiral downward after the finals? Did I melt down? Did I express that my career meant nothing? NO! That mentality that you harped on so much is not just DEAD… it’s WAY dead! I haven’t had that ‘all or nothing’ mentality since Violent Conduct in… say it with me now… SEPTEMBER! But hey, more proof of how LITTLE you know me and how out of touch you are. But I’M the one that acts like the ‘sky is falling’ like you so put it? You’re telling ME that I lack perspective, that I don’t see the business for what it is, that I don’t appreciate the situation that I’m in? YOU… of ALL people… telling ME this? Wait, I’m sorry… who was the one panicking and crying about being at the back of the line if they lost our last match?

OH WAIT… wasn’t that YOU? HELLO CHICKEN LITTLE!

You want to talk about lack of perspective and appreciation, huh? Hey, who’s the Bombshell that has done it all, been world champion many times over, is even in the Hall of Fame and ended the then-record streak of Alicia Lukas in an elimination chamber? That would be YOU… and MANY people in this division would KILL for your resume and yet… you show SUCH a horrendous lack of appreciation for what you’ve done. ‘Content, but not satisfied’ remember that? Oh, how about that little tantrum you had for a while in your promos saying “IT SHOULD BE ME AND AMBER ONE ON ONE! CRYSTAL SHOULDN’T BE HERE!”... for the fucking MAIN EVENT OF HIGH STAKES! Instead of APPRECIATING that you were THERE… you were upset and you were complaining CONSTANTLY about Crystal being in that match. How can you bash ME for a lack of perspective with the way you behaved for months despite the resume everyone would kill for? Hell, who’s to say the SKY WON’T FALL for you should you lose on Sunday? Because honestly, the only reason why your behavior has improved is because you got what you wanted and you beat Amber. I will agree with one thing though. We’re not friends, and we probably won’t be. Nothing personal. But I think it’s obvious we’ll never see things the same way. I mean hey, you have your opinions of me based on how I used to act 8 months ago and you’re the one that doesn’t try to really know me. Sorry Roxi, but that’s a YOU problem.

If you don’t want to get to know me, alright. I won’t lose sleep over it just like how you’re losing sleep over what I say to you and how you’re trying to pick it apart saying ‘I don’t believe it’. I don’t NEED you to believe it because I and only I alone know my inner truth here. I’m not the one saying ‘I try not to judge people’ only to judge their opponent based on things that either aren’t true anymore or that never were true at all. And see, if you’re THAT blind to the fact that you lack perspective and appreciation, then how about the fact that YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED and you STILL took time out of your promo to complain about how other Bombshells jumped down your throat? You could’ve APPRECIATED the fact that I told you “I get it” and that I understood where you were coming from, but no, you flush it down the river like it’s worth nothing to you all because you want to put me in this nice little ‘villain’ box you’re so desperate to force. But hey, how can you appreciate your world title when you even admitted it was more about beating Amber? Not that there’s anything WRONG with that, but many Bombshells would call that self-serving. Me? It’s not about making up for something, it’s about inspiring my daughter, my family and being a hell of a voice in the ring for so many people that are either suffering from, or are closely related to someone suffering from, the same disease that killed my mother. This isn’t about counting championships and padding resumes here, Roxi. It’s about being the superhero that you just revealed in your promo you are far from even being anymore.

Especially when you said that in ‘every single promo dating back to last year’, I talk about how I’m the victim because I didn’t win the title…

Yeah, because I acted like a DAMN VICTIM leading up to the four way I won, right? If you actually WATCHED the damn promo there was no pity party. There was no acting like the victim. Just me saying I wasn’t going to be denied an opportunity… similar attitude YOU had last year…

Again, I’ve GROWN, I’ve EVOLVED, but you don’t see it and it’s not just in the ring with bouncing back and winning that four way and HELLO… NOT acting like a victim… it’s outside of it: learning from failures, NOT breaking down after Blast from the Past, being a better mother, giving back to the business through my wrestling school, GOD even overcoming a 30 year old grief from my mother’s death that was basically the root of all of my former weaknesses that I have LONG grown from. If I’m not already the best version of myself, I’m BECOMING that… but you? You can’t say that…

The best version of Roxi Johnson doesn’t continue to complain about stuff from last year, doesn’t judge people based on their past when they’ve grown beyond that, doesn’t bitch about being back of the line and actually takes the time to KNOW who she’s facing. But I’M the one spitting on my accomplishments and what I’ve done? Hell, even at rock bottom, I NEVER said my record Internet title reign meant nothing. How desperate are you to create a villain, Roxi? Because that’s your biggest kryptonite… you HAVE to have a villain… I don’t know why… but you DO and the way you talked to me in your promo PROVES that. You HAVE to have a villain to motivate you so no matter how STUPID it sounds, you pull shit out of thin air and make the villain. So on top of throwing things at me that I once did that YOU did yourself… like talking about me having an obsession and an “addiction”, you end up SUCCEEDING in your desperate mission to create a villain here… except… it’s not ME…

You want to know who the real villain is here, Roxi?

It’s YOU!

Oh no, here’s me “making you out to be the bad guy” as you “predicted” I would… which you can’t even complain about since that’s pretty much what you did to me during your entire out of touch, sad excuse of a promo. This coming from the person whining and complaining about how it’s ‘hard to look forward to this match’, predicting things that I will do that are NOT TRUE ANYMORE, all but calling me a LIAR when I said that I wouldn’t act as if it was the end of the world if I lost when she went on about how losing to you would be CAREER CRIPPLING, constantly doubting me, assuming things based on outdated weaknesses of mine, admitting that this puts YOU in a “no-win situation”, saying that wrestling me is ‘not fun’, and in a backhanded way, all but admitting that she doesn’t want to wrestle me or have this match.

Roxi, how the hell can I make you out to be the bad guy? I don’t NEED to make you out to be the bad guy because that’s EXACTLY what you did with everything I just mentioned. But I’M CHICKEN LITTLE? What kind of CHAMPION acts and speaks the way you did there, Roxi? How can a world champion that represents this division ask someone to promise or say something, then turn around and call them a liar all while throwing extinct behaviors from months ago back in their face? That’s not the behavior of a role model or a superhero at all, Roxi. It’s like you’re OFFENDED that you’re facing me when I’ve done NOTHING to you PERSONALLY. I mean for fuck’s sake, you all but created the reality for yourself that you falsely accused ME of creating but I’M the one living a paranoid delusion acting like Mac Bane hasn’t told me that I’ll never be a finisher and never take that final step going into the finals… which you’d KNOW if you weren’t so busy with your Amber obsession and acting like the card hype people didn’t hype me up as ‘best Bombshell that hasn’t won the world title’ going into a match late last year against Char Kwan, right?

Paranoid delusion?

Your WHOLE PROMO is a paranoid delusion, Roxi!

I mean, how can describing yourself as my biggest detractor and my biggest denier… which by the way you could NEVER be considering that was and will always be my father… describing me as an addict and painting me as this villain in your head that doesn’t exist NOT be a paranoid delusion?

Despite all that Roxi, I’m not going to hate you. But the possibility of us ever being friends, as a result of you misconstruing my heart, soul and passion for this business as an ‘obsession’ that doesn’t exist? You just torched that bridge. This isn’t about cementing something that doesn’t exist, Roxi. It’s about being the best I can be for my daughter, my loved ones, those that want to be part of this business and anyone else that wants to stand by me. No, I don’t NEED the world title to be the best I can be for them because what matters isn’t winning, but continuing to fight when you don’t and I’ve learned how to do that more than ANYTHING in the last 8 months.

But hey, it’s not like my word means anything to you right? For your own good, Roxi… it’s YOU that needs to lose this match… and you will. When you do? Maybe you’ll look in the damn mirror for a change and you’ll see the villain you created. I may have made my mistakes in the past and I may have reacted to things the wrong way before, but even at my WORST, Roxi, I’ve NEVER taken it to the extremes that you have. This Sunday? You get to know who the fuck Myra Rivers REALLY is…

It’s a damn shame not just that it’ll be too late and your title will be gone… but that you made it that much easier for me to take that title from you…

After a wink, I walk out of the house of mirrors and the YouTube feed cuts out…