I’M TAKING BACK MY ROULETTE CHAMPIONSHIP
Narrator: Bill currently holds the honor of being the third longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. Bill told me he is determined to earn back the Roulette Championship and this time earn the honor of the longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling.
TAKING BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE
When the scene switches we see Bill Barnhart, Bea Barnhart, and their English Bulldog Iris, walking around in Lesbos, Greece. The camera person assigned to them travels with them wherever they go and they keep them in focus with their camera. Today we see Bill is casually dressed in blue jeans, a black pullover shirt, and black sneakers. Bea is also casually dressed but she is wearing black jeans, a white pullover shirt, and white sneakers. Iris? You know. . .the usual attire. . .a pink diamond studded dog collar.
Bill: I wish to thank the camera person for accepting this assignment to air my comments for my upcoming rematch for the Roulette Championship against Finn Whelan.
Bea: It’s nice to see how popular Bill is no matter where in the world we travel for wrestling events.
Bill, Bea, and Iris continue walking down the street stopping occasionally to look into shop windows to see if there are items they may wish to purchase as souvenirs. Not finding anything yet they continue their walk around the town and continue with their comments.
Bill: Finn. . .it is extremely appropriate that Climax Control 330 is called the GOING HOME show, which leads us to INTO THE VOID XI, because I’m going to soundly defeat you and send you home as the loser and former Roulette Champion then I’ll be the one to defend the Roulette Championship against Max Burke at INTO THE VOID XI.
Bea: As always I’ll be in Bill’s corner as his Manager to ensure this match is fair and free of interference and cheating.
Bill: Finn I know that you know the facts but I’m still going to present them for clarification. I’m the third longest reigning Roulette Champion in Sin City Wrestling. Just because you got a lucky break in our last match doesn’t equate into you defeating me and retaining the Roulette Championship at Climax Control 330. You can get a Voodoo woman to put a curse on me but that won’t get you the win. You can hire all the interference you want but that won’t get you the win. Even if all the planets, solar systems, stars, and galaxies in the Universe were to be perfectly aligned it wouldn’t be enough to get you successful Roulette Championship defense over me at Climax Control 330. If that’s not clear enough for you to fully understand then you are a moron.
Bill, Bea, and Iris turn the corner and stop in front of another shop. Bill notices something inside the shop so he goes in to check on the item with the cameraman following him. When Bill gets to the item he realizes it is a Bill Barnhart action figure with the Roulette Championship belt around his waist. Bill asks the clerk the price and even though it is very expensive Bill gladly pays for the item. Bill returns to Bea and Iris who are waiting on the sidewalk and he shows them his find.
Bill: Look at what I found! Here in Greece I’m a fan favorite. This is going to be a great addition to our home.
Bea: Yeah it will!
Bill, Bea, and Iris continue walking around and they come to a small park with a pond where ducks are swimming around. Bill and Bea take a seat on a bench to continue with their comments while Iris sniffs around and occasionally chases a duck.
Bill: So, Finn, many wrestlers like you believe that just because you step into a wrestling ring that automatically makes you a wrestler. It doesn’t just happen as most people think. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to be at the top in the sport of wrestling. In our previous match we had one of the most interesting and brutal Roulette Rules matches in the history of the sport of wrestling and you happened to get lucky and got the tie-breaker pinfall for the win. That doesn’t mean you dominated me as the match was going my way until you got a lucky break. Stuff like that happens but your luck has run out and I’ll win our upcoming match and again become Sin City Wrestling’s Roulette Champion.
Bea: Finn there’s a saying that goes sitting in a Church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car. The same concept applies to the sport of wrestling. Stepping into a wrestling ring doesn’t make you a wrestler any more than sitting in your garage makes you a car.
WHO YOU GONNA BELIEVE?
Bill: So, Finn, who are you going to believe? Are you going to believe that you’re actually a better wrestler than me or are you going to believe the truth which is I’m a way better wrestler than you will ever be?
Bea: Bill you need to run down the list of previous opponents who thought they were better than you because they were bigger than you. And for you, Finn, you need to realize if Bill was able to take out numerous opponents larger than he was then you’re not going to be able to get by Bill again in this match.
Bill: Let me run down the list of four larger opponents I’ve taken out so you know that with us being the same height and close to the same weight me taking you out will be easy. I didn’t use the names of the wrestlers but I used symbols to describe them.
ONE: I took on King Kong and beat him down to size then sold him to an Organ Grinder to use as his Organ Grinder monkey.
TWO: I took on Godzilla and beat him down to size then he ended up getting a job promoting the Geico insurance company.
THREE: I took on a raging bull and beat him down into a dinner of steaks and ribs.
FOUR: I took on a Kraken and beat him down to size and had Calamari for dinner.
Bill: So, Finn, if I was able to accomplish all of that dealing with opponents who were much larger and heavier than me, and much larger and heavier than you could ever hope to be, what the hell gives you the idea you can defeat me in our upcoming match?
Bea: Wishful thinking and hoping for a miracle doesn’t win matches Finn.
Bill and Bea burst out laughing while Iris looks at both of them and rolls her eyes. Iris then continues sniffing around and occasionally giving a side glance to one of the ducks.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Bill: Finn I doubt if you remember a television show from the late 1970’s, as you have the attention span of about five seconds, but rest assured I’ll keep you informed concerning this television show. The show as a comedy named DIFF’RENT STROKES where Gary Coleman played a character named Arnold and Todd Bridged played his brother Willis. The catchphrase on the show was when Willis said something that Arnold thought was outrageous, or that he was not able to be understand, he blurted out the catchphrase which was WHAT CHOO’ TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WILLIS??? Well, Finn, you’re talking so much shit that is outrageous concerning our match that I’m responding with WHAT CHOO’ TALKIN’ ‘BOUT WHELAN??? Har har har!!!
Bea: The problem you have, Finn, is that you equate one lucky win in a Roulette Championship match where there were twelve parts to the match. You happened to win the tie-breaker fall in the match but that doesn’t mean you dominated Bill in the match. Yes the match went back and forth but anyone you ask about that match will tell you Bill should have won but sometimes fate raises their head and causes something to happen.
Bill: Speaking of fate raising their head fate will again raise their head but this time in my favor. That means I will walk into the Supercard INTO THE VOID XI as the defending Roulette Champion.
Bea: Please relate to the viewer the comparison you have concerning how Finn won the tie-breaker item in your Roulette Championship match.
Bill: Finn our match was a twelve part match that we came out even with it. They added a final stipulation and you managed to get the win in that final stipulation. It was an accident on your part Finn. You literally got a win for being a joke of a wrestler. Your win can be compared with this example. It was like two people shooting at ducks with shotguns in a competition with a total of twelve ducks to shoot at and they end up with six ducks each. So they toss in one final duck and whoever shoots down that duck is the winner. Say one of the people in the tie-breaker accidentally drops his gun and it fires and accidentally hits the duck and kills it? Does that mean they were the better shooter in the competition? Not only NO but HELL NO!!! That’s exactly how you won the Roulette Championship match against me Finn. You failed to take me out the entire match then you tripped over your own feet and got a cheap win. I’m coming at you at Climax Control 300 to fix that cheap accidentally win you got.
Bea: That’s telling him how it is Bill.
Bill: Finn you need to know why the two of us are in the Main Event match for Climax Control 330. It’s not because you’re in the match. It’s not because you’re currently the Roulette Champion. The reason we are in the Main Event is that I’m in the match and I’m a hell of a larger draw that you’ll ever be. I also wish to inform you of the duty you’ll be performing after I defeat you and once again I become the Roulette Champion. The janitorial crew will clean up the arena with you after I destroy you in our match. That’s all you’ll be worth when I get done destroying you. They’ll use you as a broom. They’ll use you as a cleaning rag. They’ll use you as a buffer for the floors. Oh, man, that’s gonna be some hilarious stuff. Well. . .hilarious for everyone but you Finn. Har har har!!!
Bea informs the camera person they will be leaving the park and head back in the direction of their hotel and that Bill will give them comments along the way. As they get back into the main street area Bill and Bea continue presenting comments for the enjoyment of the viewers.
CLOSING COMMENTS
Bea: We had a nice day today Bill. You laid down the facts and truth to Finn and we both got to watch Iris try to intimidate ducks.
Bill> Iris does have something in common with ducks. Both Iris and the ducks waddle when they walk.
Iris looks up at Daddy Bill and snorts at him for making a joke about her.
Bill: I want everyone watching to know that just because I’m in the Main Event doesn’t mean I’m going to drag the match out just to make it a long match. Maybe some of the fans, and some of the other wrestlers, will call me out when I win quickly and make the match a short one, but my objective here is to win the match, and the Roulette Championship, as quickly as possible. There’s never a need to play games and drag a match out just to have a longer match.
Bea: Whether it is a very short match or a long one the end result is still the same that you exit the match as the Roulette Champion.
Bill, Bea, and Iris arrive at their hotel. They thank the camera person for their dedication to their work assignment and Bea hands them a huge monetary tip. The camera person thanks them for their kindness then they cut their camera feed and our screen goes dark.
