Once upon a time…..
In a kingdom Far…., far away……
(we can hear someone press on a button of a cassette deck as the music of a clear weak pathetic rip off of the Star Wars Theme starts to play, halfway the tape we can hear some distortion as this tells us that the tape is very old and of poor quality. But then again, what do you expect as we live in a digital world and someone still uses a cassette deck, for you younglings out there… this was a device that is a small version of a VHS player and please don’t ask about that… that caused you nightmares as often the tape inside the cassette would break or had to be rewinded by a Swiss Army knife. Yup kids, that was the era of the eighties that some of you old folks had to endure before greater stuff had replaced those miserable moments, but before we trail off…. Back to the story)
Welcome to Castle Vinnie in TransylVinnie, a kingdom very beloved by its inhabitants. Every month there’s a tournament held where the best knights of near and far travel to in hopes of winning the prestigious price. A whopping 1000 gold coins and the right to be knighted into the realm of the knights of the round table of TransylVinnie. A kingdom that is being ruled by a kind but fair and mostly noble King. King Vinnie, a man that has conquered the hearts of many inhabitants amongst the kingdom walls, but also by the peasants that live outside the protective walls of his kingdom.
Because as far as mankind can remember, there has never been any signs of war or betrayal. And the secret behind it all is the man himself the King of Mariachi music, the Mariachi of wrestling… King Vinnie!
Before the hero (that is the king if you haven’t figured that out already) will walk through the doors of his kingdom, we will tell you of how he has come to power. Because in contrary of what you may be witnessing in a few moments, King Vinnie was not born King. Oh no, in contrary, he was a poor young kid from a poor family that had barely any money to buy him his very first guitar. Because in case you have not heard it before, King Vinnie was a tremendous gifted artist. Wanting to become a troubadour, an artist that would perform for royalties and other famous and wealthy people. In the hopes of bringing peace and happiness in realms all over the world. Something that Vinnie always knew that it was round unlike most of those idiots out there in that day and age that we are talking about believed… as they were so consumed with it being flat.
But we move on to the day of where he had grown into a handsome young man, a day that he shall will never forget
It was a sunny day, it was a tournament day as knights of the entire kingdom, whom at that time only existed of a small castle, a tavern and a few pigeons that somehow managed to escape the wrath of some old farmer. Where a king that was crowned only a year ago, let us call him King Jack had suddenly announced that he wanted to become traveller and a new king had to be crowned. So according to the rules of the kingdom had stated a tournament would have to be organized to crown a new King. After participating a gruelling 2 weeks of joust and swordsmanship only 4 knights remained…. The handsome and quite popular knight Austin…., the more nerdy type of knight named Cassian, the knight that proclaimed to be a lover and not so much a fighter in Agostino… and the unknown and least favourite of them all… Vinnie. Who at that time wasn’t even a knight to begin with, but merely the squire to knight William. Whom suddenly had gone ill and needed to be replaced.
William: Vinnie my lad, you are much of a better swordsman than I shall ever be. You go in my place my young friend.
And Vinnie as brave of a young kid would never deny the final wish of a knight, whom at that point had his sword pushed up to his backside agreed to the request. He armoured up with pots and pans, took a wooden sword from some kid that was not looking and entered the battle ground of doom. There he stood at ground that had a shape of a six sided square. Surrounding the ground were every surrounded townsmen that the small kingdom could find, all cheering for the favourite to succeed the King Jack whom they already had forgotten about. As suddenly a voice was heard.
Voice: Here hee…, here he….
We turn to a man who has an open scroll in his hands as he will read out the following statement.
Voice: Welcome to the tournament final to crown not only a new king, but also a name for our town that to this very day is being called shithole. I am your announcer for today named Justin and I will reveal the final contestants who shall compete until knight Austin shall save us from poverty, diseases and the fact that we have no currency we need to pay off the bar tap that everyone has!!!
The crowd cheers while drinking some ale
Justin: First I want to present to you the contestants…. In the blue armour. A man that calls himself a true warrior, a man that backs down from no fight and who to this very day unbeaten when it comes down to the sword… Knight Austin!!!
A strong man walks up, long black hair and a impressive but well groomed beard. He has a wolf placed upon his shield as he bows to the few people in attendance.
Justin: The other three are not important…, but according to the rules I shall announce them and get this final over with. Agostino, Cassian and….
He looks closer to the scroll and then turns his attention to the youngster that is combing his curly hair.
Justin: Squire Vinnie???
Austin turns his attention to the youngster before walking over to the announcer and complaints.
Knight Austin: What is the meaning of this??? A squire?? I shall not degrade myself upon a peasant??!!!
Crowd: Booo!!!!
Vinnie: Excuse me dear knight, but I have taken a written test of how to become a knight in three easy steps. I have aced all the tests, so I am actually a certified knight. I just need to wait three months to get myself an actual armour.
The knight turns, a cold dark stare on his face looks at the youngster before shaking his head and gives up.
Knight Austin: If this is what has become of our fine art of being knights, then I shall have to do the rightful deed and to defeat you in a battle of where only the strong shall survive.
The two stare each other down for a few moments before Vinnie taps his wooden sword across the armour of Knight Austin and tells him.
Vinnie: Looking forward to it, just so you know… I tend to use the force to win my matches
Austin blinks and shakes his head.
Knight Austin: My lad, you are just a fool. A better occupation for you would be to have discussions with a plant… a cacti for instance than wielding a sword… even if it is made out of wood.
He turns around, lifts his head up high in the air in a token of disgust and walks towards the spot where he had come from. Leaving the squire standing, not knowing how to respond.
Justin: Now that was a moment of interesting developments, but we are here not to be in a talk show… but to crown a king. We had a drawing done prior to the semi-finals and final, determining who shall compete against each other prior reaching to the finals. The first semi-final shall be between Knight Austin and Knight Agostino… in better terminology, the battle between the wolf and someone who is not.
The crowd murmurs in agreement
Justin: And obviously the other semi-final shall be contested between Cassian and squire Vinnie… someone who is not and the other who has used math to get him this far…
Crowd: Boo!!!!
Vinnie steps forward as he stares at Cassian and nods his head.
Vinnie: I shall take great pride to hopefully harm you with a deadly splinter of my wooden sword.
Both men walk to a corner of the ground shape form and stare each other down before putting on their helmets. In case of Cassian a traditional knights helmet, while Vinnie has managed to secure two pillows on either side of his ears, believing that this would protect him from hurting his head if he would fall down to the ground. The two men bow down towards each other before doing the same to the crowd before someone whacks a wooden spoon against an empty pot to signal for the match to begin. We see Vinnie immediately bending down to a knee while holding his sword towards his opponent in a foolish attempt to back him off because of his “deadly” weapon. His other hand scratches the dirt a few times before throwing it upwards into the eyes of Cassian, who is temporarily blinded by the sudden action. The crowd boo the action of cowardice from Vinnie as he charges in on the blinded knight. Grabbing one of his two pillows, placing it behind Cassian before pushing him against the chest plate. This causes Cassian to fall down and Vinnie jumps up for joy.
Justin: The winner by technical knockout as there is no way on earth that Knight Cassian will get up before the count of 10.
The wooden spoon hits the pot and Vinnie is being announced as the winner. Causing the written press to write about it with awe and amazement as the feathers scratch upon the scrolls of their newspapers as the lucky kid has been born.
Knight Austin: Such a disgrace to the realm of us brave knights, I shall have to overcome…. Uhm
He stares at knight Agostino, who is flirting with the farmers girl as he rolls his eyes in disgust
Knight Austin: Overcome this fool of a knight, who at least is a real knight but nothing more.
He turns his gaze to his armour, selecting what weapon he would use in his fight with Agostino. In the end he has chosen his favourite sword and shield, while deciding not to wear his helmet. Preferring as he has always enjoyed having his hair sway in the wind during his fights.
Knight Austin: I am ready
He nods his head to the announcer, who rasps his throat and starts to read from the scroll once more.
Justin: Upon my left, the unbeatable, the role model of everyone who ever wishes to achieve something but do not know how!! Knight Austin!!!
He raises his arms in the air, showing the weapons to the peasants who give him a few claps before we turn to the opponent.
Justin: And his opponent…, currently too busy to pull himself away from farmer’s daughter Betty….. Knight Agostino….
No response is heard as the knight suddenly turns around and is levelled by a shield that was thrown towards him by Austin. Levelling his opponent in single blow before walking over to him to grab his shield and dust off the sand that got in contact with it.
Justin: And not a surprise, your winner… Knight Austin!!!
He turns his gaze towards Vinnie and motions towards Vinnie to come to him as Vinnie complies by doing so. Vinnie stands bravely face to face as he has some pots separating him from standing chest to chest with the man who many deem to be victorious and the next king.
Knight Austin: Okay lad, you have had your five seconds of fame. Why don’t we make a deal, you surrender to me and I will make sure that you will get the cross eyed farmer’s girl.
Vinnie turns his gaze towards a girl that is so cross eyed that you cannot really grasp of whether she is looking at you or not, he stares at her for a few moments before turning back to Austin.
Vinnie: No…,
This causes the knight to raise his eyebrow in surprise.
Knight Austin: No??? Are you sure lad??? I would not want to shove this sword straight through that cooking pot of yours.
He stares at the “armour” of Vinnie and then chukles.
Knight: Then again, maybe I do. But you cannot be serious my friend, to think that I would possibly take you seriously and combat you???
Vinnie pats his wooden sword agains this chest plate and smiles
Vinnie: I challenge thee to a duel dear sir, knight of the wolves, knight of the unbeaten aura and knight who is just too foolish to see that I am the one that shall overcome him.
This causes Austin to get furious, grabbing his weapons and this time puts on his helmet that has a wolf’s head engraved on it. He points his sword to Vinnie as both men has gotten to their spots and then he charges in on the young man.
Justin: And the final… ahhh forget it already and the winner is Au….. what the???
Vinnie manages to sidestep just at the moment that Austin expected him to be empaled by his sword. But Vinnie had warned him about the force, as the speed of him caused him to sidestep before clonking his wooden sword upon the helmet who suddenly breaks down into million pieces and Austin falls down face first into the dirt. Causing the cook pot to be rung by the wooden spoon once more. Causing a sudden silence to overcome the small town kingdom
Justin: err… I guess Vinnie is our king now???
The proud youngster motions for a crown to be put on top of his head as he brushes some curls away from his face.
This was many years ago as since that faithful day many things has changed.
Present day in TransylVinnie
Many years later and many growth spurts further of the kingdom that has blossomed under the guidance of King Vinnie. Who has granted fellow royalties of smaller kingdoms to be entertained over a nice meal and entertainment of his beloved Jester Bill. Whom is performing one of the many legendary tales of his king.
Jester Bill: And then King Vinnie slayed the mighty dragon with a mere thought, telling him that he needs to fly away and never come back.
The royalties applaud the tale that the rather bulky jester has told them, dressed in a pink jester outfit. The jester hat has two ends with a golden bell attached to it, he has a golden weapon sown on his right chest area. A weapon that has a crown, a guitar as well as the wooden sword that he used during the semi-finals and finals of crowning a new king. It also has fruit in the back as that signals the growth of his kingdom by importing the largest amounts of fruit ever seen in the realms of far away kingdoms
Jester Bill: Have I told you about how King Vinnie named its kingdom TransylVinnie???
The guests shake their heads no, anticipating another brilliant tale when Bill grabs a guitar and sits down.
Jester Bill: Now why don’t you sit back and allow me to tell you this tale with a song….
Jester Bill allows his hands touch the strings as he attempts to sing about it, but we prefer to show you the story as we do not wish to have our youthful viewers endure the terror that is Bill’s non singing voie.
The story:
In the past outside of the kingdom of Transylvinnie there was a dark and secluded palace on top of a dark hill. Legends had been going on through the villages at the foot of the hill that an ominous creature resided there. Who would come out at night and feast itself upon the blood of the innocent and drunk. Some believed that the creature was neither dead or alive, yet nobody knew for sure. As many had attempted to travel upon the hill to find out, yet nobody has ever returned. But that would soon change, or so at least that’s what King Vinnie would wanted his ever growing following to believe through his weekly announcement being made by the same announcer that was present during his coronation.
Justin: Here hee… here hee…. Our beloved King Vinnie has proclaimed that if his kingdom wants to grow, that he needs to expand his land. And that the palace upon the hill Transyl upon his kingdom is in its way.
This causes shock to emerge upon his following, murmuring amongst each other as they wonder whether this is a wise idea upon their king. They have been living in prosperous times for several years now and they all thanked their King for this. But fear the end of their king if he decides to confronts the creature that as legends want us to believe consume the life essence of its victims.
Justin: Now our beloved King Vinnie is aware of the tales of a monster that houses in the palace, but he wants to assure you that there’s no way in his realm that to this very day is still unnamed that he would fall to whatever it is that resides there.
The crowd remains silent, wanting to believe the words of their king but still doubt the wisdom behind his decision.
Justin: King Vinnie has studied the legend of the creature and he has found a weakness that may bring victory to our brave king and more wealth to his realm!!!
This causes to bring hope to some of the villagers, others murmur still as they are sceptic over the positive news. But the murmuring quickly vanishes as hoofs of horses are being heard, causing the crowd to spread as the sound has come closer and closer. Where we see King Vinnie sitting on his steed, a steed that is actually a pony. An before you start to ask why King Vinnie would not sit on a full blooded horse? There is one simple question, King Vinnie at this time still had to adjust to the height difference as well as the speed that a horse would develop in comparison to a pony. Also the pony that he was riding on was a third generation pony that has been in his family heritage since the first ever family member ever sat foot in this kingdom when it wasn’t worth more than a potato with beans.
King Vinnie: My fellow people, I as your King has never backed down from a challenge in my entire life. Yes, I may admit that my actions are sometimes questionable, to the point that some of the evil news papers of the rival kingdoms across the border tell their readers that I am borderline crazy!!
The crowd boos in response to the in their minds false accusations of their king, even though even they have heard the rumours of him having weird hobbies to uphold besides his duties. But then usually shrugged those off as King Vinnie always gets the job done.
King Vinnie: I have heard the tales of this unbeatable creature up north, now trust me to tell you that no creature remains unbeaten when it comes down to YOUR King!!!!
The people cheer for their king as he grabs something from behind the head of his horse as he reaches down seemingly somewhere around his waist. Some of the people look at each other, wondering what he is doing as Vinnie’s expression turns from happy to clueless to upset and finally to satisfied. Holding up a wooden stake in his hand with garlic and some silver attached to it.
King Vinnie: I am sorry people that it took me so long to uphold this simple, yet effective device. A device that I have decided to name the Royal Stabber, or in other terminology better known as it’s sad to see you leave so soon.
He holds the stake even higher as the crowd surrounds their King even closer as all of them wants to check the wooden device out. Some even proclaim to have seen a guitar string wrapped around it in a bow for giving it some extra flair. King Vinnie puts it back where he had gotten from as we now finally manage to see that he is wearing a Mid Evil version of a fanny pack. Obviously not as comfortable and created from a fabric that would stand the test of time as well as the different weather types they were used to in this far kingdom at a distance era of time that somehow seems so much similar to that of ours. Looking like it has been made out of some sort of cardboard, that would clearly fall apart when it comes in contact with bad weather and soaks in water when it rains. But then again, King Vinnie knew probably knew something that others did not. After a final wave to his royal servants he rides off on his pony as he is followed by some of his bravest knights. But only to have them part ways with him when they have reached outside the kingdom walls, not because they were not brave enough to follow their king everywhere imaginable…. But today was laundry day and all of the knights had to be at home early to make sure that everything is once again clean and smelling like daisies.
King Vinnie: Go my knights, I know that the evening shall not fall for yet another few hours. But I know that you do not have servants that do your wishes 24 hours a day like the servants shall do for yours truly. As well as you have to do everything by hand while yours truly have got many of hands that make sure that mine remain wrinkle free!!!
Holding up his hands up high, showing how proud he is that his hands seem like they have never touched anything without sanitizer. He then turns his gaze upon his pony, who waits his orders patiently before ordering him to guide him up the hill towards the palace with the deadly creatur residing there.
During the way towards the palace Vinnie has got to overcome several challenges that should not been taken lightly. Challenges like cutting his hair fingernails with nothing more than two rocks, or trying to create a fireplace when he has two forgotten to bring with him his velvet gloves, as that would prevent him from getting any splinters to be stuck in his hands. But ultimately manages to succeed by doing a special dance that caused lightning to strike upon the piece of wood in front of him. To this very day King Vinnie still does not know whether he has created a special lightning dance, or that the Gods of the weather had it in for him. But no matter what the outcome has been, he was not less thankful for the wonderful dinner he had eaten that evening that could be identified as some Nacho predecessor of that what we have grown accustomed to right now.
King Vinnie decided to camp out somewhere near the palace, not because he is tired but simply for the fact that he had put too much sauce upon his dinner, causing his insides to disagree and give the woods surrounding the palace an aroma that had chased off even the wildest and bravest predator that roamed the woods at night.
King Vinnie: I better take a little nap my dear amigo Pete
He says to his pony, who nods its head several times as it is eating some grass while wearing a royal Vinnie robe across it’s back to prevent it from getting cold. Things could have often been said about King Vinnie, but he has always been an animal love. Except for the Bulldog that Jester Bill always brought with him, the dog never chewed regular dog food but merely anything that the human folk ate at the royal dining room, where King Vinnie always invited sections of his kingdom to join him and feast upon food that normally was meant for the upper class. But King Vinnie felt that he owed it to the common folks to have a close connection with heir king as that would bring gratitude in his kingdom…
King Vinnie stared at the sky as he was resting on his back, having a soft pillow against the back of his neck while having his feet draped across his saddle that he put on top of a wooden log. Draped across him was one of his favourite blankets that kept him nice and warm, plus it always made him think off the tales that his mother used to tell him before sleeping time when he still lived at his parents home. Nowadays King Vinnie had Jester Bill to tell him stories, they often started off exciting, but in the end they always turned into Jester Bill laughing out loud and barking like a dog as Vinnie never knew what the stories were all about. But never wanted to disappoint his jester as he always told him that the stories were well done.
King Vinnie: I am sure glad that Jester Bill did not join us today Pete, I mean I know he did volunteer. But I need my focus upon slaying this… this… oh heck, I forgot his name once again.
He quickly grabs a piece of scroll in his fanny pack that now was on the ground next to him. he unwrapped the scroll and read the name out loud.
King Vinnie: PalpaDmitri??
Vinnie scratches his head, he has never heard of this name before. It made him wonder whether he has taken this task perhaps a bit too lightly, but then he shrugs his shoulders and laughs.
King Vinnie: King Vinnie never takes anything lightly!!! Well except that one time that I faced an Icelandic destructive machine. I was bold, I was brash and quite honestly I should have listened and had taken a pick axe with me on the road to battle. But hey, I cannot undo the things that I have done now can I???
He whistles a soft tune while staring at the piece of scroll as it describes some more things that is known of this PalpaDmitri.
King Vinnie: A mighty and evil monster, that according legends sucks the life essence out of you by drinking your blood??
This causes King Vinnie to swallow hard
King Vinnie: And he wants to plan to take over the world?? Well seeing that he has been living there for five centuries, I reckon the planning department of him conquering the world is rather slow. Perhaps he needs to hire a new marketing department, or perhaps a new public relations guy?? You know, every now and then do some autograph signing instead of drinking someone’s blood. Kissing some ugly babies instead of immediately devouring them so you can live another year or two?? I mean seriously, why is it that evil persona’s always have to be so despicable???
He continues to read until he feels something wet touching his ear, he looks over and sees his pony giving him some loving attention as he nods his head and puts on a sleep mask as well as one for his pony. The two sleep until the morning comes and the journey continues to the palace of PalpaDmitri.
King Vinnie: I say Pete, this PalpaDmitri should have hired some gardeners. I mean seriously, everywhere there are these ugly bushes and trees that have branches that nearly poked my eyes out of my head. A serious gardener would have given these woods some…
Voice: Go back King Vinnie……..
A soft whisper can be heard throughout the woods, Vinnie is shaking his head from left to right. But he sees nobody.
King Vinnie: WHO IS THERE??!! Show yourself!!!!
Voice: I am the man you seek, yet you do not wish to find me…..
King Vinnie rolls his eyes, he always hated people talking in riddles. But gesturing that he is a king who does not get side tracked and grins
King Vinnie: Two can play that game amigo, I am yellow and love to swim
Voice: Err…. What???
King Vinnie: My rubber ducky in a bath tub…, but I can understand that for an ancient creature like you that it is quite difficult to comprehend a brilliant mind like yours truly. So here is another one.
Voice: Err.., you should be petrified sir…, not riddle me???
King Vinnie shakes his head
King Vinnie: Nonsense amigo, you need to adjust and evolve yourself to the new era of where we live in…. okay, it’s green and loves speed
Voice: Err…., a running grasshopper???
King Vinnie: False!!! It’s Kermit the Motor mad frog!!! That’s two strikes already Palps…. One more to go and you need to give up your palace to me!!!
There’s silence for a few moments
Voice: I am PalpaDmitri…, I cannot be forced to hand over my palace and surroundings over to a riddling fool!!!! I am eternal, I am ever lasting, I will drink your blood!!!
King Vinnie rolls his eyes to the idle threats that the creature is currently making towards him.
King Vinnie: Nonsense, you just don’t want to accept the fact that we have evolved in so many years that you have been stuck in drinking blood. Seriously, what is this?? The last supper?? Take this glass and this wine represents my blood?? Seriously, I guess you need to get out more in the sun instead of just hiding in the shadows or attacking at night. I am surprised you even showed up in the morning, but then again that part of the forest is so dark that it does not matter when it is day or night. And you know what also is wrong with you???
Voice: There’s nothing wrong…..
King Vinnie: You need to eat more food that has iron, you know you need vitamins!! Hell you need vitamin A to fucking Z!!! And I know that there isn’t any vitamin pills that can produce that many different vitamins, but it at least tells me how terrible your health is!! I bet you even have painful teeth.
There’s a silence for a few moments
Voice: Well there are certain moments when I flosh my teeth that it bleeds, is that normal???
King Vinnie rolls his eyes before a lightbulb miraculously emerges above his head as he has an idea.
King Vinnie: I got the solution to all of this, I give you a final riddle…. And if you solve it I will tell you the secret to your problem and you can feast upon my blood.
Voice: Or???
King Vinnie: OR!!! You are forced to leave this palace and your surroundings until the end of time and hand it all over to me
Voice: Deal
King Vinnie: What is pink and jolly all the time???
Voice: What is pink and jolly all the time???
There’s a moment of silence as the creature must be thinking this over, you can hear him curse underneath his breath realizing that he will lose his entire property to this “King” if he does not come up with the correct answer.
Voice: A Hubba Bubba gum???
King Vinnie: Oh that’s a good one!!
Voice: So I got it right???!!!
King Vinnie grins
King vinnie: Sadly not, I was talking about my jester Bill. He always wears a pink outfit, nobody knows why. But he is as jolly as it may get.
Voice: Ah darn……
The voice utters in disgust, realizing that he was tricked and fooled by this human king. A man that rides a pony, a man that has different fighting tactics that he has grown accustomed to.
Voice: I didn’t really agree with you to be honest, you know I would never give u….
King Vinnie: Do not insult me disgusting creature!! I have won faire and square and you need to move out!!!!
Voice: Darn…, I hope my mother has not rented my old room to someone else until I find somewhere new to stay.
With that the sudden danger disappears and the darkness surrounding the forest and the palace has vanished. We suddenly see flowers re emerge as well as birds start to sing. King Vinnie even manages to catch a lady bug upon his finger as he realizes that he has succeeded once again where others have failed. King Vinnie rides his pony towards his newly acquired palace and sees the sign that reads:
New tenant new name for the kingdom
Vinnie scratches his chin, realizing that he has always wanted to give his kingdom an official name and this was the moment to do so……
Jester Bill: And then he named it TransylVinnie!!!!!
Bill stops singing the song as we have returned to the present day, everyone in presence of having to endure the song that Jester Bill has “sang” to them have all applauded after he had finished singing.
Jester Bill: Thank you for admiring my talents, is there anything else you want to hear???
But before he puts his fingers upon the strings of his guitar the crowd quickly all screamed out no in desperation. Causing Jester Bill to raise an eyebrow in wondering whether why they responded in such a way that he turned his gaze to his king. Who has had ear plugs in the entire time that Bill has started singing, causing him to show a smile of delight before applauding his jester.
King Vinnie: Wonderful Jester Bill, every time that you sing my song about how I knighted the knights of my round table it gets a tear flow from my left eye.
Jester Bill: But…, I didn’t sang about that… weren’t you listening???
King Vinnie did not hear what his jester said as he throws him a silver coin
King Vinnie: Here Jester Bill, for all your attempts to entertain me and my guests. Why don’t you get your dog Iris and take her to the back as I am sure that she is dying to eat some more of my nacho stew.
Jester Bill scratches his head, but then looks upon the silver coin and shrugs his shoulders.
Jester Bill: At least I got paid…., Iris!! Come here Iris!!!
Bill turns away and starts to search for his dog, who has been underneath one of the tables of the guests who has been dining on the best food known to man, hoping for some food to fall upon the ground so that he could feast upon it
Jester Bill: Damn that dog, I should have kept him on a royal leash!!!!
With that shot slowly fades as we close the door to the realm of King Vinnie and his wonderful stories of overcoming obstacles in a fashion that would be called inspiring….
Also if you enjoyed this first part of many tales that soon will follow, please run to the bookstore or order online at www.scwonlineshopping.com and order the book as well as the sequals in either paper bag variations, e-books as well as audio books. You are guaranteed for many hours of successful reading or listening pleasure.
The End… for now.
The Kingdom and I…. Golden opportunity
Caesars Palace Las Vegas Hotel and Casino,
We are at the casino area where Vinnie has secured himself a spot at the slot machines, drinking some non-alcoholic cocktails while throwing coins left and right into the slot machine after every attempt to win big. Next to him is his tag team partner Bill Barnhart, the man that has been named the royal jester to King for a Day Senor Vinnie. A role that he has taken great pride to fulfil, as he wants nothing more than to please his best friend.
Jester Bill: Vin, how much money did you throw in already???
King Vinnie: About several hundred bucks Bill, why???
Bill stares into his bucket of coins and notices that even though there are still plenty of coins left to spent, it sure as hell isn’t the amount that Vinnie threw in earlier.
Jester Bill: Well Vin, I…
Vinnie interrupts Bill by rasping his throat and looks at him quite seriously, this causes Bill to suddenly nod his head
Jester Bill: Forgive me, King Vinnie
King Vinnie: Much better my dear jester
Jester Bill: I noticed that in the rate you are going, you are going to be out of money in like ten minutes. And there are so many other things that we could do in this casino, why do you remain here at the slots oh majesty???
Vinnie just threw another coin into the slot machine and watches as the three slot machine windows reveal a banana and two cherries.
King Vinnie: So close!! I just need to keep this going, I can sense I am on a roll!!!
He throws in a few more coins as Bill waits with lots of patience for Vinnie to respond to him.
King Vinnie: To answer your question Bill, I can understand your worries about the amount of money that I am spending and the amount that is returning to me at this very moment. And of course there is much more money leaving my wealthy wallet than presumably is going to return into it at the end of the night. Is that it Bill??
Bill nods his head but remains silent as Vinnie continues to play with the slot machine before turning his gaze towards his friend after a few more tries.
King Vinnie: You see Bill, life is a gamble. Life is a bet they say, if you do not take a gamble or wager a bet… then the probability of you ever reaching something meaningful in your life will take like an eternity to happen…. IF it ever happens of course. And you know Bill, I have not been someone that just sits idly by and wait for an opportunity to present itself by throwing itself in front of me as if it’s a desperate man. You see Bill, I am not desperate. I seize the moment and grab it by the throat and squeeze until there’s nothing left for me to do and take it and own it.
Jester Bill: So basically you want to choke the slot machine?? I don’t know Vinnie… err King Vinnie. You need rather big hands to choke these devices out and secondly, where’s the neck???
Vinnie chuckles at the comment that was made by Bill, of course he would not being able to choke a machine this big. Hell, machines aren’t even alive, let alone you could squeeze the life out of it even if it did.
King Vinnie: Oh no Bill, you are taking things way too seriously. Ji was just using this slot machine as a metaphor. You see Bill, how big is the chance that you will walk away a millionaire if you throw in a thousand coins in this slot machine???
Bills eyes widen by the mere mention of how much money Vinnie was referring to.
Jester Bill: A thousand coins??? I….
Vinnie waves his hand to silence his friend.
King Vinnie: No…., you misunderstand me Bill. Let’s say I do throw in a thousand coins, how much of these coins will just be swallowed without me winning anything???
Jester Bill: The chance of you winning a big price is so much smaller than losing all of that money King Vinnie.
Vinnie nods in agreement
King Vinnie: Indeed Bill, but then let me ask you a second question. Would the risk of losing a thousand coins be worth it if you win a million in return??
Bill thinks about that question merely a tenth of a second before answering
Jester Bill: Well if you put it that way, let me open my wallet and see if I can change ten bills of a hundred dollars for a thousand coins if that’s all what it takes?? I…
Vinnie places a hand upon that of Bill, shaking his head no as that causes Bill to look puzzled
King Vinnie: I just meant it as a rhetorical question Bill, if it would take everyone a thousand coins to win a million bucks…, then wouldn’t everyone do it???
Bill raises an eyebrow, contemplating that what Vinnie just said to him and scowls in anger.
Jester Bill: Aww man!! I had my dream of winning a million bucks being squashed by I guess a mathematical gamble. Darn, I was just about to text Bea to order the most expensive bottle of hot sauce by the burrito’s that I was about to order.
This causes Vinnie’s eyebrow to raise in surprise to what Bill had said. He then shakes his head and chuckles, his friend was such a loyal one. But from time to time it seems that he had some wires loose inside his brain that it caused him to not always understand what you are trying to explain.
King Vinnie: No Bill, gambling is game of chance a risky situation that in the long run you lose more than you win. But if we knew that to begin with, then why do so many people like yours truly want to gamble so much??
Jester Bill: Because it is so addictive???
Vinnie nods his head in agreement.
King Vinnie: Yes indeed Bill, that’s the biggest reason of them all. But people do not get born addictive right away, they need to be seduced to it before the disease as so many call it to stick it’s ugly head and sucks you down to the pits of damnation. No Bill, another reason is because it’s so easy to get access to. I mean seriously Bill, nowadays you can win money by gambling merely by downloading an app on your phone. You can become a pro card player and win big in poker. It’s a sport that nowadays it’s more legal than it has ever been. And all of you think that you are just as good as the next guy that comes here week in and week out, just in the hope of one day to win big.
Jester Bill: So what you are trying to tell me is that you are also addicted to gambling???
Bill says with eyes the size of plates, almost wanting to sign his friend up for an AA meeting for gambling addicts. But Vinnie shakes his head no, causing Bill to sigh of relief.
King Vinnie: Don’t be so silly Bill, of course I am not addicted to spend the rest of my life outside the pro wrestling arena as a gambler?? I just stated that if the opportunity presents itself to you, you should grab it and don’t let go until that one thing that you want is yours.
Jester Bill: Like you did a few weeks ago when you won the King for a Day Ladder match??
Vinnie smiles as he is reminded by the night that both he and Bill were very successful in winning their matches. Bill along with Bea had won the mixed tag titles, championship belts that they unfortunately lost last week to Austin James Mercer and Tempest. A man that Vinnie had believed would not have deserved a championship match of any kind, but then again it was Alicia that booked the show. As she also had just like Vinnie the opportunity to book several matches of her choosing, so everyone had to live with it. But just like Bill was successful, so was Vinnie. Overcoming three other wrestlers in a ladder match to win not just the title of being the King for a Day and host a show. No it was much more, it was also an opportunity to realize that for several people on the roster. Whether they were male or female, that he would have their fates in the palm of his hands and that he could dictate what could happen to them on that given night.
King Vinnie: it was partially the goal that I had set for myself since last year’s King for a Day tournament Bill. You see, I had great things planned last year, I had ideas that would have been called revolutionary. But did you know what happened last year Bill???
Jester Bill: What I remembered was that you was nearly there to win it all King Vinnie, you just got knocked in the family jewels if I remember correctly??
Vinnie shakes his head no, causing Bill to raise an eyebrow in surprise.
Jester Bill: But you did get knocked in the testicles King Vinnie. I…
Vinnie chuckles as he nods his head in agreement.
King Vinnie: Oh yes, of course I did get eliminated by having my family jewels being the physical reason for my elimination. But when you think about it Bill, I gambled and I bet on the wrong horse my friend. I was desperate, I was believing my own hype and failed to realize that there was much more needed than my God Given talent to reach out and touch the crown that I deservingly won this year. I guess it was another example of why my luck was gone last year and how I just ruined opportunity after opportunity. But even in defeat you win so much more Bill.
Jester Bill: Like what King Vinnie??
He takes a sip from his cocktail and savours the taste before sighing of relief.
King Vinnie: Know when to gamble Bill, realize that once you begin that gamble that you need to continue until you are either successful or come up short…. Just don’t stop halfway the ride, because you will never win the big one. And accept the fact that when you gamble that more often that you will lose than succeed….
Jester Bill: But if that’s the case, isn’t it best not to gamble at all??
Vinnie shakes his head no
King Vinnie: No Bill, maybe for people that likes to play it safe. But that’s the people that will forever bitch and moan that nothing is handed to them as what they believe is deserving to them. I take risks, give me an inch and I will turn it into a green mile. No Bill, once that opportunity is handed out to me and everyone else… I will do whatever it I need to do to succeed. Because then and only then I will have that high that allows me to compete at the highest level of my being…. Just like this coming Climax Control Bill. I gambled to win that crown, just not to have some gold on top of my head…. I want it once again around my sexy waist.
Jester Bill: Championship gold
Vinnie grins, nodding his head as he closes his eyes for a few moments. Taking another sip from his cocktail and slowly allows it to slip down his throat as he swallows.
King Vinnie: I have been without a success since last year’s Summer XXXTReme, where I once again beat Austin James Mercer for a championship belt. A title reign that did not last for too long as I gambled and failed. But I know now what I have done wrong Bill and now it shall be so much differently. Because I see every opportunity, no matter how small or big as my final opportunity o make something out of my career once more. Because I am sick and tired to sit at the back of the line and see others receiving and squandering opportunities to make something out of their careers.
Vinnie sighs for a moment as he inhales deeply before blowing out some air, slowly calming down
King Vinnie: It’s funny isn’t it Bill?? To be in a ladder match with three other men and realize that not only your own future is in my hands but theirs as well?? To realize that none of the three others were as confident to risk it all, risking everything for that one moment that could change their careers. And to be honest, I was a bit disappointed when I looked at lest two of my three opponents. Men that have held championship gold and they no showed.
Jester Bill: But they were there weren’t they??
King Vinnie: They were, only because they had to Bill. There was no one in that match with he mindset that I had…. And you know why Bill?? You see, I have the mindset in matches like that that I am in the advantage, I am the one that is in control. Because just like my championship match this coming Climax Control… every opponent that I face has to win every single time to get ahead of me, while I only have to beat them that one single time to get what I want. Something that I have done in that ladder match and that created the fact that I had more success than I had in like the Blast From The Past….
You would assume that I had a better team facing me on that given night, but I didn’t… I was half to be blamed for that team loss against one of the three men in that ladder match and his tag team partner. But I changed that fateful loss in a way that we have not heard from Cassian in quite some time now haven’t we Bill??
Bill nods his head as King Vinnie continues.
King Vinnie: It’s good to be King they like to say, but many others will use it just merely as a catchphrase, because they feel that they are entitled to say something like that but don’t mean it. Look at Austin James Mercer for instance, he is someone that is a machine… and I am not talking about the fact that he can get up 365 days a year and fight you. No, he has no solid basis of emotions. He just presses a button that tells him what is good and what is bad and he acts to that accordingly. That’s why he will never grasp the fact that he is repetitive and boring when he once again tells the tale of how I was a disgrace to that belt… yadda yadda yadda. It’s like watching a Scooby Doo rerun just without any sense of humour.
But I guess that gamble has paid off for me hasn’t it?? Only to the point that I have to set foot in the ring against the Sin City Wrestling World Heavyweight champion Mark Cross. The man that has won the title against a former King Jack Washington in quite an efficient way. I applaud you Mark, good for you. To have come so far and then take YOUR future in your own hands after earning it when you won the Blast From the Past tournament where I had failed…. But I did not let that disappointment get to me Mark. Because deep down inside I know that one day the coin would fall in my favour… and guess what, only mere weeks after your greatest success…. Your luck is going to be put to the test. Wondering what fairs better in real life Mark?? Luck?? Or merely the fact that I just need that one single moment to strike and take home the gold and leave you empty handed… and trust me, I know how that feels after your first and only title defence.
I know you have seen me in the last few weeks having fun Mark, showing up on the night that it was focused upon Queen Alicia as she deserved it… and yet I was the one that was the show stopper, I was the one that knew how to bring that show to greater heights as the segments that I was in was the highest watched of that given night. I know you must have chuckled or perhaps rolled your eyes when you read my tweets on social media. Not taking things too seriously, but that’s what people always assume when they hear my name. judging me for who I perhaps once was or never was, but do you see the humour upon me when it comes down to taking that opportunity? That I know that You have to always win to retain, while I only have to strike you just once?? Once Mark, must be a troubled thought for you isn’t it?? To realize that you have to be at the top of your game the entirety of your title defence and title reign…. The question that even you cannot tell me is how long will it last??
Oh of course everyone can tell us all that they will beat their opponent and justifying so, because the moment that you will say that you aren’t sure… then you have already lost haven’t you Mark?? Trust me, I had to live with that burden for over 100 days before pressure got to me…. So I know what must be going through your mind when that moment in time is just so new to you. And of course you can tell me that since entering and winning the Blast From the Past tournament has caused you to live upon cloud nine. A winning momentum that makes you feel that you are unbeatable and unbreakable… but unfortunately the cracks in the foundation has already started to emerge… you are just too blinded to by your own success that you have failed to sense it…..
Again Mark, just once you have to lose your focus and I will take that gamble and take away YOUR championship belt that was never meant to be in the first place. Yet I will not do an Austin James Mercer and tell you that you have degraded a championship belt by losing it on your first attempt. I am not like that, I am more the type of guy that tells you that I was just that much better than in this case YOU on that faithful night. Ask Mercer, he still has sleepless nights for over two years since Summer XXXtreme 2019 where I took away the gold from a man that told me I wasn’t good enough, that I did not deserve to be in the same ring as him, let alone hold that championship belt… and I did
I may not marry the woman of my dreams as I did on that faithful night, but I am the one that has set all of his coins, chips, money, whatever you wish to call it on that winning horse Mark. Because even though the odds may be stacked against me, I know how to win on situations like that… just like I did when I won the golden briefcase to secure a title match against the world champion. Just like I did winning a tournament as a rookie to take Fenris to the level…. Just like I did in the King for the Day tournament and sealed mine and your fate to tangle in the ring for that belt.
He smiles as he nods his head towards the camera.
King Vinnie: Do you think I have got nothing to lose and everything to gain in our match Mark?? Then I will have to disappoint you my amigo. I have nothing to win and everything to lose. Because I have placed my entire faith upon this one moment. I have no doubt, I have no second guessing moment on my mind to call Mark Ward and Christian Underwood and ask if I could just have a pillow fight with Mercer for the mixed tag titles… but I aim for the highest price imaginable… I do not settle for seconds and I do not mope like a big time baby. I just hope you will look back and learn Mark. Learn from the response you had on Christian Underwood’s tweet for Summer XXXTReme. Looking past me and wonder who your next challenge will be. Is that how you wish to risk your glorious run that led to that championship belt Mark? To underestimate the man that a former World and Internet champion did twice?? TWICE!!! I guess that’s a gamble that you will just have to wait how it will pay off isn’t it???
He tosses a few more coins into the slot machine as suddenly three cherries emerge and bells go off and lots of money pour out of the slot machine that Vinnie has wo.
King Vinnie: See how my gambles in recent time has increased my winnings too Mark?? Perhaps not in the fashion that you have done in recent time. But then again Mark, I am aware that when it comes down to that moment that you realize that you need to take a gamble to turn the fight in your favour… that it will cripple you, that it will freeze in your boots and you will react a fraction of a second slower than you have done in recent time. Then you will realize that the King charade that was King Vinnie was one of fun outside of the ring… and the gamble that will proves to be a serious threat inside the ring….. But it’s already over Mark, you just don’t know it yet…. So until then champ, see you at Climax Control for an anti-climactic end of your championship reign… that’s something I know that it’s worth to gamble upon….
With that Vinnie throws a coin in front of the camera as the shot slowly fades to darkness.
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