[Roux]

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The Wall
Jet City Sports Lab - SEATTLE
4 MAY 2021
OFF-Camera

I had forgotten how much nicer the Jet City Sports Lab was than Jet City South. Jason really hadn’t spared any expenses building the place. Everything was so fresh and new that I thought twice about using it. It also felt a lot more exclusive than what Kris was doing at JCS. There were a lot of familiar faces. Students that had been around when I was first starting out a few years ago were now full-fledged stars coming here to get away from the public. Aaron Isaacs was the first one to greet me on my way out of the locker room. At least my career in Sin City was going a lot better than his. Kyle Kavanagh was working out nearby, and spotting him was none other than Ty West, as if I needed another reason to avoid that side of the gym like it had plague. Luckily, trouble had come to bail me out. I had only started brushing the surface on my daily routine when Kris came walking through the door. The moment that I found out that he was on his way to Seattle, I made my own arrangements. He made me a promise and I intended on forcing him to keep it, no matter what his plans were in the ring. It wasn’t my fault that J2H called him out. We had shit to do. I had the most important match of my life to prepare for. He wasn’t dipping out on me.  In hindsight, I probably should have at least let someone at the Gem’s mansion know where I was going. I am sure I’ll get an angry message or two about that later. That was a problem for future Court though. I didn’t have time for that in the present.

I made my way over to arguably the two most successful siblings in Sin City Wrestling history. One of them was a grand slam champion and then some, and the other was literally a champion for the entire time that he was under contract. There aren’t many people that can make that claim. Maybe Coby, but that was an entirely different circumstance. I let them do their thing, but once it looked like they were finally ready to get to work, I stepped in front of both of them to really give them a piece of my mind. On the bright side, they listen. However, the ass kicking that I have had to taken since that very moment may not have been worth it. I had trained with Kris dozens of times before, but there was something different about this one. I don’t know. Maybe J2H was already inside his head and he didn’t even know it. Maybe he was just super angry that I didn’t let him weasel out of the commitment that he made to me. It didn’t matter what the reason was. I was paying for it now.

Kris: You know, if you’re not going to get any better you’re wasting your time. Even worse… now you’re wasting mine.

He had finally had enough I guess. I had lost count of how many times he had put me either on my ass or face down in the middle of Jason’s ring. It got so bad that Jason had bailed on us a while ago. I wasn’t impressive enough to keep his attention. It wasn’t even like I was doing awful either. A few weeks ago I could barely keep up with Kris for a couple of strikes, but now I was pushing him around the ring. I was forcing him to try harder. That was something, at least to me. The end result was still always the same though. I ended up on the mat, and he ended up disappointed.

Court: Well it certainly doesn’t help that you can’t actually tell me what I’m doing wrong and pretending like I’m not getting any better.

I knew it was probably too much to ask for even a little bit of praise for the work that I was putting in. It wasn’t just with Kris either. I had spent time in the gym with Fenris. I had tracked down Kate at Jet City to help me out. I was putting the work in, and even I could see that I was making progress. It just never feels like Kris sees it too, which makes him the most frustrating person to learn anything from.

Kris: Fuck… I don’t know… learn by doing. That’s how I did it.

I wanted to just walk away before I said something that was going to ruin any hope for a productive day. I didn’t have time to wait for the two of us to cool off after some big blow up. Instead of lashing out I gave him more of a defeated shrug.

Court: It doesn’t matter what I do. You’re stronger. You’re faster. Somehow I’m always a step behind.

I thought it was the right answer. I was wrong. Instead of doing anything to calm him down, it only seemed to make him more irritated with me.

Kris: You think that I’m the only person that’s going to be bigger or stronger than you? You already forget the way that Tempest tried to turn you into applesauce a month ago? The point is to not get a step behind. Always be planning ahead.

I hadn’t forgotten. I had actually expected to be seeing her in the ring again long before I got any kind of shot at a championship. Then again, I never figured that the championship I would be getting my first shot at would be the biggest and best of them all. Life has been full of surprises lately. Most people didn’t expect me to last this long. Everyone said that I would be back on the disabled list by now. Maybe if Kris saw that I was only trying to protect myself, he might see that my defense isn’t weakness.

Court: I don’t have time to think like that in the middle of trying not to get maimed, sorry. Not all of us have the natural recklessness that you do. Some of us care about getting hurt.

Okay, so maybe that didn’t quite come out the way that I wanted it to, but I’m still a work in progress. It doesn’t matter though. We clearly weren’t seeing eye-to-eye.

Kris: One of us cares a little too much about getting hurt, and that’s the problem.

Of course I cared! I lost years trying to make my way back. I thought that of all people Kris would understand what that was like, but I guess not. Just another thing for me to be wrong about. I wanted to scream in his face. Instead, my voice got softer and sounded far away.

Court: That’s not fair, and you know it.

He wasn’t letting me off the hook though.

Kris: No, it is fair. Everything’s fair now. You may have been able to squeak by Johanna a couple of weeks back, but Amber’s a lot smarter than that. She’s going to push you the same way that I am pushing you, and right now you don’t have an answer for it.

Again, he’s not even going to address my progress so far. It’s black and white with him. Either good enough, or not good enough. I am still on the wrong side of that line, so nothing I’ve done matters. I think he could tell that I wasn’t buying it.

Kris: You want an example? Amber is naturally left handed, like me. Which means she’s primarily coming at you from the same side I am.

I can see where this is going already...

Court: I get it. Not only am I too slow… I’m backwards...

He slaps the mat and pushes himself back up to his feet. I guess our timeout was finally over.

Kris: You’re not too slow! That’s what’s so fucking annoying about it!

I get up off the mat, trying hard to ignore the fact that every part of me wants to lay down and give up on the day. I didn’t have any time for those kinds of quitting feelings. The only way out is through.

Court: You don’t have to yell at me….

He deflated a little bit and let out a heavy sigh. I guess that means that the yelling part of my day is over for now.

Kris: Apparently I do...

I wanted to keep arguing. It was probably just best to shut up though.

Kris: You are still all in your own head about getting hurt. I can see it in your eyes. You’re not planning your next move. You’re thinking about what is going to happen when you miss. You’re thinking about where the counter is coming from. You’re protecting yourself from attacks that haven’t happened yet, and you’re losing your window to really keep the pressure on anyone in front of you.

I don’t think he’ll ever understand that not everyone is as fearless as he is. I have seen him put himself in dangerous situations in the ring for minimal gain. There has never been a risk too big, or payoff too little for him to put it all on the line. I don’t fight that way though. I can’t fight that way.

Court: So I’m dumb for trying to protect myself? I spent too much time fighting to get back just to go out and get hurt again.

He nods in agreement with me. It was nice to be back on the same page.

Kris: ...and that’s why you’re not going to make it anywhere. That’s not something that you have time to care about when you’re in the ring with someone trying to beat your face in. You think Amber is going to be dwelling on what you plan on doing to her? Nah. She’s going to do whatever it takes to keep the Bombshell Championship, as any champion should.

It sounded like a vote of confidence, just not for me.

Court: Jeez… are you on her side, or mine?

It wasn’t a serious question. Clearly he was on mine. It was just frustrating to hear him throwing praise at Amber all while saying I wasn’t good enough.

Kris: I’m just worried that you don’t have all the answers yet because we’re running out of time to find them.

”We” are running out of time.... Not me. We. The two of us. At least that meant that he was still on board. It wasn’t much, but it was something. I still didn’t see a path forward.

Court: I don’t know what to do….

I didn’t think that there was a simple answer. Apparently he did though.

Kris: Eventually you’re just going to have to trust yourself. Stop planning for everything that can go wrong, and start planning for how you’re going to make it go right.

He was acting as if he wasn’t talking about making split-second decisions while someone is trying to rip your face off.

Court: When you say it like that, it sounds easy.

Kris: Not always. I’ve had bones break. I have torn my knee all to shit. I’ve had more concussions than I care to think about. Shit happens. This is the life that we chose.

I like to think of it more as the life that chose me. I never sought it out. Once it found me though, I was hooked for life. The only thing that scared me was the idea of something taking it all away, and from experience, the only thing that can take it away is something going horribly, horribly wrong.

Court: ...how are you not afraid of something like that happening again?

I thought that it would be a more difficult question for him to answer, but he didn’t even hesitate for a second.

Kris: Because I love being out there. Nobody is forcing me. Sitting at home in fear instead of being out there would be a waste of my life. Being out there and acting scared is just going to ensure that I end up at home and broken. There is only one way to do this. You’re either all the way in, or all the way out. I’m one of those that bought in. This is what I wanted. I knew what I was signing up for. I can take it.

It reminded me of something that I kept telling him from the very start of my training. I had told people the same thing every time that they told me that I couldn’t handle being in the ring.

Court: You’re built for it….

He laughed, but shook his head.

Kris: Nah, those are your words, not mine.

It was surprising to find out that he actually remembered something like that. It wasn’t a lot, but again, it was something. Just enough to keep going.

Court: Maybe it’s about time I started acting like it.



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>I’ve been having a pretty amazing time being me lately….

It hasn’t always been like that. Actually, very rarely has it ever been like that. Since I was a teenager, people have been trying to tell me that I shouldn’t be in this business. Nobody wanted to train me at first. It was constant rejection. Once I actually got my foot in the door with Mikah things went smoothly enough for a while. Things outside of the gym and the ring were pretty awful, but only because I didn’t have time for anything other than work if I wanted to make it far enough to get signed to a decent company. Once I got to Sin City, things were amazing for about thirty seconds. I won Blast from the Past, but then that was it. After that things got really miserable. I got hurt. I got hurt again. Then life became a cycle of getting close to making it back only to suffer another setback. When I finally broke out of that and I was able to get back into the ring, I just couldn’t get it right. I started to get things together outside of the ring, but I was a mess professionally. That mess became a joke. That joke had people telling me to pick a different line of work all over again. For all of my progress, I had made it all the way back to square one. But then a month ago, all of that changed….

My life behind the scenes couldn’t possibly be going better, and things in the ring are finally starting to fall into place. I am more comfortable out there than I have ever been, and I am still improving everyday. Most importantly, I am finally in a place where I am getting to enjoy living the life that I have always wanted to live. A couple of weeks ago I was still convinced that I was the only one that noticed the changes. Before the official announcement that I would be taking on Amber for the championship I said I didn’t think that this would happen any time soon. I said that winning a couple of matches to break a losing streak wasn’t enough to even start taking a look at the lower tier championships in the Bombshell division. I was hopeful that I would get there in no time, but I didn’t think that the time was now. I didn’t think that I had earned a shot at anything, let alone the Bombshell Championship.

When I saw the announcement that Mark and Christian were offering me the opportunity to compete for the one thing that I set my sights on from the moment that I chose this life, I thought it was a dream. It couldn’t be real. I know there are at least a handful of women on the roster that probably feel the same way. I mean, Jessie Salco uses a win over me to invalidate the entire gym that I came out of. Andrea screams into the void about how much I don’t deserve to be here. Myra has been talking about how my win over Johanna shows that she doesn’t belong in a championship conversation, and Tempest tried to turn me into applesauce. And that’s all just stuff that happened before Char Kwan did her weird interview talking about how she has her sights on me or something. I know that none of them are happy that I am getting this opportunity. I know that they’ll all have something to say about it at Climax Control, if not before. There is only one person in the whole world that is happy about this opportunity, and that’s me. Although, I’m here hoping to negotiate for a second….

It isn’t lost on me that this upcoming show is Climax Control 300. This is going to be one of those shows that ends up on highlight reels decades from now. It can be argued that some shows are throw-aways, but this one is a milestone. This is one that is meant to represent the best that the company has right now. We are celebrating the life and success of Sin City on Sunday, and Amber and I are at the very top of that card. It would have been an amazing honor without the Bombshell Championship attached to it, because Mark and Christian are telling the world that Amber and I are the best that they have to offer. Amber and I are sharing this card with a match between two of the biggest names in the history of this company, yet we are the main event. We are the headliners. We’re the finale. Being told by the owners that we’re the ones they want to showcase, and the Bombshell Championship is what’s most important on this card is everything that I have ever dreamed of hearing.

A few weeks back, Amber came out during Climax Control and said that the Bombshell Championship wasn’t going to be a prop for people to carry around. It wasn’t going to keep being used as a prize to be won in some petty personal argument. She wanted to elevate the championship to represent what it was always supposed to: the best in a great division. If people wanted to bitch, squabble, or straight up fight about some personal beef, she was happy to meet them in the parking lot to settle it, but the Bombshell Championship was staying out of it. Not because she was afraid to defend it. I doubt there is a bombshell on the roster that would try to make that claim. But because the championship means more than that. I heard her say all of that before I knew that I would be the next up to challenge her for that championship, and I couldn’t agree more.

I can respect the hell out of Amber for going out and reminding everyone what the Bombshell Championship actually represents in this company. I can respect that it means the same thing to her that it does to me. If she wants a challenger that understands what she was trying to say out there, then Mark and Christian did her a favor by giving me the shot that I never got years ago. According to them, and according to the champion herself, I am exactly the kind of person that deserves a chance at that championship. I earned it by winning Blast from the Past. Being hurt didn’t change that. When the people in control of this company look at me, they see a challenger. When I look at Amber I see the Bombshell Champion, and maybe the best one that we’ve had in a while.

It makes me happy that I didn’t get this opportunity before now.

Instead, I get my shot on what will no doubt be an historic show. I get to be in the main event of the biggest Climax Control of the year. And I get to take on a champion who knows exactly what it would mean to me to win that title, because it means the exact same thing to her.

Like I said, I’m having a pretty amazing time being me.

See you soon!




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Reinforcements
Jet City Sports Lab - SEATTLE
6 MAY 2021
OFF-Camera


The last couple of days have been pretty brutal, not gonna lie. I thought that Kris was an asshole. His brother was on a whole different level as a coach. So far I’ve been pursuing this ring life for six years. I’ve never been pushed as hard as the two of them have over the last forty-eight hours. I can’t even really complain though. The hard work was already paying enough. Despite getting off to a rocky start, after Kris and I stopped arguing and started to actually work together, things had started to come along a lot more smoothly. He was helping me break every part of my game down, and helping me build back in a way that put me in the best position to beat Amber. Of course, it had the added benefit of being able to put Kris on his ass for all of the scores of times that he has done it to me. He was right. It wasn’t about speed. It was about fear. As soon as I stopped trying to plan his next move for him, and started working on mine, everything started to fall in line. Suddenly he was the one struggling to keep up with me. So far this morning, he has been flat on his back more often than I have. I haven’t been dumb enough to put my guard down though. I know that he is just waiting on me to get cocky so that he can put me in my place. Winning the Bombshell Championship would be great, but right now, it is a distant second to shutting The Miracle up. He fakes a move to his right side, but I know that the left is coming. I slip under it, and roll to the mat. I take him with me by hooking both arms around his leg as I roll forward, and he slams to the mat hard. Instead of staying back, he rolls backwards, and pushes himself to his feet. I had seen that enough though. Before he can even gather himself up to his full height, I leap into the air, landing on his shoulders. He raises an arm to try and block me from being positioned right, but the arm is what I really wanted. In a flash, my ankles are locked around his neck, and I trap the arm he gave up. Before he knows what hit him, the oxygen to his brain is cut off, and he slumps forward helping me sink the triangle in solidly. It only takes a moment for him to tap my leg. Jason calls it as Kris collapses, sending us both to the mat. He laughs breathlessly. I got him with his own move, and he knew it.

Kris: You’re getting there...

It was as close to a compliment as I was probably going to get. It was much better than being called incompetant in not so many words. That was a trade I would happily make any day of the week. Still, now that he needed a chance to catch his breath, I could afford to be cocky.

Court: Says the guy that just got put on his ass for the tenth time this morning….

He legitimately looks like I slapped him across the face instead of simply stating a fact. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he shook the comment off enough to explain it away.

Kris: You’re so lucky that Jason has been running me ragged long after you call it a day.

The older of the two brothers wasn’t willing to let that one slide. It was nice when both of them were around. I could usually play them off of each other instead of getting berated by either. Their sibling rivalry trumped everything else.

Jason: No excuses. That is why Jet City South is full of marshmallow students.

I hadn’t expected Jason to be able to cut us both down at the same time. There was no way that I could let that stand. Jet City South students had long surpassed the ones that came out of the northside.

Court: Marshmallow students?

I was just giving him the chance to take it back before shredding his argument, but he took my question in stride. He didn’t even seem upset about it. For him, it was a simply a fact.

Jason: Yeah… like you… Semi-successful but still too rough around the edges to be thinking about being the top champion of a company. If you would have stayed here instead of following Kris to San Diego, you wouldn’t have these problems.

Since he was going to heap the blame on Kris, that put me on Kris’ side. The least I could do was try to shift the blame a little bit.

Court: You can’t really blame Kris for that. Mikah is the one that starting training me to begin with.

Kris wasn’t willing to hang the blame on his friend though. He had her back immediately.

Kris: He knows… that’s why he is giving you any amount of credit at all. If it were just me, he wouldn’t be wasting time on us.

He made it sound like we were in the same boat, but I was really in it alone. Jason was going to help Kris before I even approached the two of them in the gym. The wild card here was me, not Kris.

Court: He would be helping you out regardless...

Again, Jason nods in agreement with me even though I was pretty sure that I was still disagreeing with him. Trying to figure him out was a lot more unsettling than dealing with Kris. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why though.

Jason: He’s blood, so unfortunately my hands are tied. You’re a different story. You qualify as a favor, and that means that he owes me one.

Kris perked right up at the words. He wasn’t sulking about the fact that I had gotten the better of him so far today anymore. He pushes himself up off the mat and pulls a towel free from where it hangs on the ropes to start cleaning himself up.

Kris: So that means that they said yes...

Now I was lost. I went from being part of the conversation to being the only one not having a clue what was going on in the blink of an eye.

Court: They?

Almost as if on cue, I heard footsteps coming up the ringside stairs behind me. I turned to see the woman that I had just tried to shove some of the blame on. The other Grand Slam Champion of The Black Sheep hadn’t really been an active part of my training since coming back. She had her own shit going on, and I didn’t want to get stuck dealing with it instead of working on myself. It was an amicable break, but it had been a break nonetheless. Yet, here she stood, apparently having come all this way to lend a hand.

Mikah: Well, she was originally my student so if she goes out there and sucks it up it is going to make me look bad.

It didn’t sound like she was just playing, but the quick smile she gave me let me know that she was. At least she was making an effort not to get things started off on the wrong foot. I could appreciate that. Plus, heading into Blast from the Past a few years ago, she had taught me everything that I knew. I still owe a lot of my success to her, whether I admit it to her face or not.

Court: ...and here I was thinking that you didn’t care what people thought of you.

She shrugs and gives the most MIkah-esque answer possible.

Mikah: People? No. You? Maybe a little.

She wasn’t the surprise though. She was just a distraction. I only barely caught the movement out of the corner of my eye. The blur leapt from the floor and slid under the bottom of the ring before I could get myself turned around. By the time my eyes could focus on what it was, she was sitting in front of me on the mat with a wide smile on her face.

Ruby: We definitely didn’t come all this way for either of these two ghosts of Jet City’s past. I want my main event. For that to happen, you need to pull this one out. You’re gonna win that Bombshell Championship so that we can steal the show at Into the Void, got it?

I was still dumbfounded that Ruby would come all of this way for me. I hadn’t exactly made it a point to fill her in on why I was leaving or where I was headed when I took off to Seattle. I thought I had mucked things up, at least temporarily. To see her here, smiling…. IT felt like a second wind that I didn’t know I needed. I wanted to say so many things, but Mikah cut me off before I could get into any of them.

Mikah: She doesn’t have a choice. If we’re all putting in all this effort, she has to win. Period. End of story.

What a difference a matter of days made… I mean, I went from getting yelled at by two guys that can never get along, to being built up by two of the most talented women that I have ever met. Their help meant more than I could explain, so I tried my best to sweep those feelings under the rug for now. I would deal with that later.

Court: Well as much as I love all of the support… does anyone have an actual plan?


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>I am not like Amber Ryan.

It might seem that way at first. We are both super blunt about what we think, and aren’t afraid to tell people how we really feel. For the most part, we call it like we see it. We both say things that people don’t always like. For that reason, and that reason alone, people kind of put us in the same boat. The problem is, we fundamentally couldn’t be more different. And I’m not just saying that because the last year that she had and the one that I had look like polar opposites.

For one, I would never look past one contender for my championship and start planning for my victory over the next. We’re not going to be getting bogged down by anything that petty tonight though. It would only serve to make any legitimate gripe that I had with Amber feel cheap, and I promise, there are several. I mean, there are things that she says and does that are hard not to notice. 

I have been keeping my eye on her for a while. I mean, I’d be an idiot if I didn’t. Everyone on this roster is a potential champion or challenger at some point. It is in my best interest to keep up with what is happening. And I can’t deny, she’s one of the best that we have on the roster. She’s one of the main bombshells putting asses in the seats of the arena whether fans love her, or hate her. There is a reason that she is the Bombshell Champion. She’s good. She might even be great. I can’t come out and say that she’s not. That would get me laughed out of the building. One the last year she worked her way through the ranks. She got her shot against Crystal and she made the best of it. More importantly, at least to her, she did it the “right” way.

I think it’s awfully bold of her to assume that the way that she goes about anything is the “right” way. She’ll be the first to tell everyone that she’s done awful things. Sometimes she did it to people that deserved it. Sometimes, they were just in her way. Amber will proudly claim responsibility for all of the horrible things that she’s done, and threaten to do worse in the same sentence. She’ll talk about how low she has stooped, and brag that she would have had no problem going even lower. She’ll lie, cheat and steal her way through whatever hurdle she needs to. Why? Simply because she can.

….yet she lectures about the “right” way….

She’ll talk about hierarchy and about how people need to work their way through the ranks.Then she’ll tell someone like Jessie Salco, who has made her way up and down those ranks a handful of times in her forever long career here, and say that some people just aren’t meant to ever make it to the top. Amber makes the hierarchy, sets people up at the bottom, and then erases the middle.Does that sound “right” to anyone else?

Maybe it’s just me….

I believe that, in this business, anybody can beat anybody on any given night. That’s what makes it so exciting. There can’t be a hierarchy. Why? Because it would inevitably flip on it’s head anytime something unexpected happened. Stars rise in this company in the blink of an eye, and disappear just as quickly. Does that make their talent undeserving of a championship? Of course not. Just like being here forever doesn’t qualify you for a handout, being new, or putting up a surprising effort shouldn’t disqualify you. The only reasons for rules that are rigid would be to limit competition. If you make people form a straight line, it is all that much easier to stay at the top of the mountain I guess. If Amber was willing to shortcut her way through all of her hurdles, who’s to say she’s too good to use the same tactics to limit who can challenge her?

It kind of makes you see her other comments in a different light too, doesn’t it? She’s already eliminating people at the bottom of her rankings from even thinking they can get a shot. She’s saying anybody with any kind of personal problem with her can fight her, but not for the title. Now she’s trying to get anyone left to form some kind of orderly single file line to the top of a mountain of her own creation. And remember, she’s willing to sink to any depth to make sure that nobody else, not even a loved one apparently, makes it to the top at the expense of her legacy.

Chilling, right?

Apparently we have to be if we are going to make it anywhere in this business. At least according to the new Bombshell Champion.That’s her entire game. Week after week we hear her tell people that they have had it easier than she has. That they haven’t really searched the depths of their soul and trained the monster within how to attack on command. We have to listen to the horrible things she has done to advance herself, and the horrible things she is willing to do to keep her place at the top. Then she’ll turn around and say that she represents a better kind of champion. She places herself above people like Crystal, who just want the belt to add it to a resume. Amber might know what the championship is supposed to represent, but I’m not sure she understands what it actually means to be a champion.

I’ve tried the isolationist, focus-on-the-career, tunnel vision on success shtick before. I’ve dabbled in being a total bitch for the sake of being a bitch. I’ve tried talking down to people like one big win couldn’t turn their entire career around. I’ve told people they would never make it to the top, even though there is no way that I could possibly know that with any certainty. Nobody can. This business is about as random as a line of work can get. I have been the person that Amber openly brags about being, and I didn’t like it. It injured me and left me miserable. It took years away from me that I won’t be able to get back. It made me feel hollow. Maybe that’s how Amber feels. Maybe that is the way she thinks she is supposed to feel, like it is some kind of trade-off for success

I don’t think that it is. I don’t think you have to be a bitch to everyone you come across in order to get ahead. I don’t think that you have to cheat if you want to beat someone with talent. I don’t think any of us need to pull the kind of underhanded shit that Amber has in order to get a chance at the Bombshell Championship. If those are the ranks that she thinks all of us need to rise through in order to come out on top, I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for her vision of this business. If that is what I thought it was going to be like before I started, I wouldn’t have ever stepped foot in a gym. If that were my experience with it once I was in it, I would have hung up my gear when I got injured.

This is the greatest gig in the world, and we get paid to do it.

If anyone feels any other way about this business, they should follow the exit signs and find something that makes them happy. If the pain isn’t worth the hassle, then they shouldn’t be in the ring. If they aren’t good enough to win while playing by the rules, then maybe they shouldn’t be winning. And above all else, if you’re a champion, then you have a god damn example to set for the rest of the roster. The reputation of the company and the championship live and die by a champion’s actions. The same tricks that got her to where she is are just going to tarnish the belt that she carries. The culture that she is trying to force on the rest of us isn’t one that people are going to buy into.

Everything that comes out of her mouth directly contradicts the magical things that can happen inside that ring. Legends can be made in the blink of an eye. Careers can end in an instant. Lives can be changed forever in a shorter time than it takes to draw a breath.

...but she can’t see that.

All she can see is the wreckage that she has left in her wake. All she can see is the pile of bodies that she has stepped over and the faces she has stomped on in order to get where she is. She doesn’t see how great this business is. She only sees how horrible she is on the inside, and she would have us all running around and acting the same way. Her advice to me on my losing streak would have been to fake it until I made it. She would have had me steal a victory from someone else if it meant getting to keep it for myself. She is the very definition of the phrase “by any means necessary”.

Personally, I can’t do it.

I said it earlier in the week, and it was as true then as it is now, I am really enjoying being me lately. I might be a solo act in the ring, but I have never had a better support system of friends and family in my life. I finally snapped a losing streak, and I really did it the “right” way. I did it on the back of my talent, and my talent alone, and in the process I have rediscovered something inside that ring that I was really afraid was lost forever. Every second that I spend in the gym improving myself gets me one step closer to my goals, but make no mistake, I am already living my dream. This is everything that I have ever wanted to do, and I won’t sit back and watch someone tell the world that they have to hate every second of it if they really want to be successful. That’s not what I want people to take away from our shows. That’s not the example that I want to set.

Instead, come time for Climax Control 300, I am going to step up. I’m not going to take Amber’s low road to the championship. I’m not going to do anything horrible or underhanded. I’m not going to sacrifice everything that makes me a decent person in order to achieve my dream. I am going to keep putting in the work, just like I did when I was first getting started three years ago. I am going to overcome the hurdles put in front of me without cheapening it. I am going to believe that one any night, anybody can step out of the shadows and change the whole landscape of this company.

I respect Amber for the amazing things that she is capable of doing in that ring. I am proud of her for saying that she wants to elevate the championship that she is carrying into Climax Control. I just think that I am someone a little more suited for following through on the promises that she is making, because doing it her way isn’t what my dream looks like.

It looks like a nightmare.
 


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More Than Ready
Jet City Sports Lab - SEATTLE
7 MAY 2021
OFF-Camera



Another day in, and I was almost regretting having asked the group if they had an actual plan. They were all quick to tell me that we were rapidly running out of time. We couldn’t afford to take it easy. I had a lot to learn, and basically zero time to learn it in. The idea was simple. Mikah was a near perfect stand-in for Amber. They had the same technical ability, and veteran instinct. Mikah could slip away from me the same way that Amber was going to. She could also put me on the mat just as efficiently. They were the same size and employed similar styles, with one exception. Amber could fly around the ring to get the job done if need be. That’s why Kris and Jason put the call out to Ruby. She could mimic the same speed and high impact that I was going to be in for. Together, working as a team, they added up to one perfect Amber. The brother’s gave them each a set of moves and strikes to limit themselves to, and we were off to the races. They made short work of me most of the time. They were able to tag in and out, so they were always fresher than I was. None of that matters though. At some point in the ring with Amber, I’m going to run out of steam. I still need to be able to hold my own at that point, or else the ending of this match is going to come really easy for the champ. The idea was to be ready for everything, even if that meant reacting on instinct alone, and that’s what it boiled down to more often than not.

But, I didn’t have time to get lost in my thoughts right now either. Mikah had been picking her shots carefully all afternoon. Even though the guys were calling out what was coming, there was still no easy way to defend it. The majority of the time, the best I could hope for was stopping their offense. Anytime I got anything going, they would tag out and I was back to square one. Anytime that I gave in, or got pinned, all we did was rest. There was no way to win. I was at least lasting longer and longer every time that we gave it a shot. I was starting to be able to see when they were setting up their next moves. Every shift and vibration of the ring meant something different. If I stayed focused, I could avoid taking too much damage. If I let my guard down, I usually ended up face down on the mat with Mikah bridged over me and trying to rip my shoulders out of socket with Amber’s cattle mutilation finisher. She had gotten me with it so many times so far that I had a feeling I would be having nightmares about it later tonight. This latest time hadn’t been any different either, and I was running out of options.

Jason: Come on Court! Let’s just reset.

I wasn’t going to give in just because things looked bad. That was the thing that Kris wanted me to push out of my mind the most. I looked to my side to see how far the ropes were, and tried to get my legs closer to them. Almost like she was planning for that, Mikah started to shift herself, all from the bridge position, to prevent me getting any closer without making the pain worse. Jason was right, I was going to have to tap out.

Kris: Use your head! Stop panicking and think it through!

I was just about to give in, and stopped. He was right. I could get out of this. I brought my knees up to my chest, making Mikah have to work harder to hold her bridge. I got the toe of my shoe planted into the mat and threw myself forward as hard as I could. Mikah held on as best she could, but once I started rolling forward she was forced to break it. The result was a roll forward that allowed me to drop and elbow Mikah;s face before rolling away. I pushed myself up, trying to take advantage, but Jason’s words stopped me.

Jason: Ruby make the save for your partner!

I didn’t have time to think. I knew what her role was. She was going to be in the air. I turned towards her corner with my arms already up, and she was hanging in the air like she was waiting for me. I caught her under her shoulders and turned, using her own momentum to plant her into the mat with the Crowning Point.

Kris: Hell of a counter, Court! Where’d Mikah go?

I didn’t know. My first thought was to make sure that Ruby was okay. My second was to celebrate the fact that I had no control over that situation. My body felt like it reacted on its own, and for once it made the right decision. I was starting to get the hang of this, or so I thought. Mikah hit me with an elbow to pay my back from mine a few moments ago. We exchanged a few strikes and blocks, but Mikah won with a cheap kick that I knew I couldn’t complain about. I should plan on Amber doing the exact same thing.

Jason: Finish her off Mikah. She’s not ready to be the Bombshell Champion.

She hooked both of my arms, and was going to drive me face-first into the mat, but I wasn’t going to let her. Using all of the strength that I had left, I threw myself backwards. Mikah came off her feet, and I found mine before letting her plummet back to the mat with a suplex-style counter.

Kris: You got this!

I dropped to the mat instantly, and crosses Mikah’s legs before pulling them back and bending her in half. There had never been a more appropriate time for the move. I was in fact, Over It. She tried to fight to the ropes, but with nothing to gain by hurting herself, she taps and triggers the reset.

Kris: Hell of a comeback!

I could feel tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. I closed them instantly. I wasn’t dumb enough to let anyone see them. This was big though. This was the moment that I was looking for. For just this second, everything felt…. possible.

Jason: She got lucky. We all saw it.

...and Jason snatched it away that quickly.

Ruby: It didn’t feel very lucky to me….

I wasn’t going to give them the opportunity to talk down to Ruby like they did to me. She didn’t deserve that for trying to help.

Court: It was bound to happen… I mean statistically speaking. I was bound to win one eventually.

Mikah rolled over on the mat, still catching her breath.

Mikah: It would be different if this wasn’t a gym. We aren’t fighting for a championship right now, and we aren’t actually Amber. Nobody’s spitting mist or throwing fireballs here. There’s so much of this that’s still going to be on you. We can’t plan for everything.

Ruby: It feels like we’ve gone through everything....

I wasn’t quick enough to stop them from correcting her this time.

Kris: Stop complaining. This is good for you too. You’re facing the winner of this match no matter what. If it’s both of you in the ring at Into the Void, it’s in our best interest to make sure that you both make us look good.

As if that wasn’t a shitty enough reason to be helping me, Jason went ahead and made it worse by saying what Kris actually meant by it.

Jason: ...and making sure that Amber doesn’t make the two of you look like jokes instead. That would be the end of both gyms….

Ruby rolled her eyes and slid out of the ring muttering something that I didn’t quite catch. It didn’t sound very nice though.  Kris backhands his brother in the upper arm for the comment and shakes his head. He tried to call after Ruby, but that wasn’t going to work. I had been on the receiving end of one of her walk-outs before.

Kris: That’s not going to happen...

Kris’ eyes fall to Mikah, who reluctantly pushes herself up from the ring without needing to be asked. She heads off after Ruby. It was probably for the best. Ruby looks up to her. If there is anyone that was going to talk her down, it was Mikah.

Court: You two really are a handful.

They both laugh like they didn’t realize it was meant as an insult.

Jason: What’s the over-under on Mikah making it worse?

Kris looks like he thinks over the odds, and then follows in the direction that the two women went. I’m not sure what he thought he was going to help by going as well, but at least if it went wrong, he could break up the brawl.

Court: I would complain that you are too hard on students, but you’re worse on him...

Jason: He knows it comes from a good place. You should too. If everyone is standing around you pumping you up all the time, you’re never going to hammer out the flaws in your game. They’re just going to keep being weaknesses for your opponents to exploit. Everyone needs someone to point out what they’re doing wrong so that they can fix it. I don’t mind being that guy.

I shouldn’t have expected a better answer than that, but I was still mad that he didn’t give one.

Court: It might help if the people around here thought you actually believed in them.

However, he had an answer for that too.

Jason: I believe in him… and he believes in you. It’s not more complicated than that. At the end of the day do I hope that it all works out better for me? Of course.

I hated him for his honesty, but I think that was the point. He might say awful things to everyone, but he was never going to lie about it. There was something about it that I could respect. It also made him the only person around here that was going to give me a completely straight answer to an honest question.

Court: You think that I’m actually ready to do this?

I was bracing for the worst, but he nodded almost instantly.

Jason: Yes. I think that you’re more than ready. You know what she’s going to throw at you. You have worked on how to get out of those situations. You’ve even found a way to counter her strengths into yours. I can’t tell you how it’s going to go inside that ring, but you’ve put in the work. The rest involves playing your cards right and no small amount of luck.

It was more than enough. After months of trying to improve my skills to break the losing streak, I had gotten things turned around. Now I’m going to be competing for the Bombshell Champion, and a Hall of Famer thinks I can pull it off.

Court: Being the Bombshell Champion seems like a lot...

That was where he threw up the stop sign. He shook his head to stop me from getting ahead of myself.

Jason: That’s an entirely different question…. Beating Amber is one thing. Being a decent Bombshell Champion is something else. You won’t know if you’re ready for that responsibility until you hold that championship over your head or really feel the weight of it on your shoulders.

I understood what he meant, but it wasn’t a thought that I could shake out of my head. The last month has been filled with so many wonderful things. I had to believe that I had one more in my bag of tricks.

Court: I want to think that I’m ready. Wouldn’t it be amazing to walk into Climax Control and shock the world….

Jason: Then do that. Nobody can stop you without your consent. If that’s what you want, then go get that. Nothing less than that should ever be enough. No roadblock should be too high. No possible injury should scare you too much to try. If that is what you want, then go rip it out of Amber’s hands and take it for yourself.

He patted me on the shoulder, and made his way out of the ring, probably to go find the others. I watched him until he disappeared from my eyeline, thinking about what he had said. I looked down deep, but I couldn’t find any of the doubt that I had carried into Jet City Sports Labs just a few days ago.

Court: Maybe I will...



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>So this is it, huh?

There’s not much more that I could be doing at this point. Whatever happens in that ring this Sunday, I will rest assured that I did everything that I could to rise to this occasion. Despite our differences, I know that Amber is an amazing competitor. I know that this match is not going to be easy, because it shouldn’t be easy. Just getting into this business is hard enough. There is not a whole lot of room for error, even when you’re just the one losing in the opening contest. That should tell everyone all that they need to know about trying to work your way up to competing in a main event. Amber has proven countless times that she is capable of handling that kind of pressure in her own way. She has been a champion all around the world, including carrying the Bombshell Championship for Sin City right now. I, on the other hand, have a lot more limited experience with it, and have never actually held a championship.

The only real main event that I have been in was when Fenris and I won the Blast from the Past finals. I was able to rise to that occasion, and I’m hoping that this next one will be more of the same. I’m nervous though. Probably more nervous than Amber is. She has been around the main event picture in enough companies that the butterflies of it all have probably worn off. It almost makes me feel sorry for her, because I am feeding off of the feeling of electricity in the air. It has been there in the gym with me all week. It was there last week when I was standing in the middle of the ring during Climax Control. Something about this feels huge, and it is not just because this is a milestone show. It can’t just be because this is a main event. I want it to be about the Bombshell Championship but it’s so much more than that.

It feels… possible.

The thing about dreams is that they fade as soon as you wake up. For a moment, after your eyes open, it all still feels real and makes perfect sense. Then as you wake up that feeling starts to slip away until you forget the details altogether. I have been living in that space between being asleep and being awake since the moment that this match was announced. For the last few years I have been chasing this dream of being the Bombshell Champion, and now that dream finally feels like it could be a reality. Even if this feeling is as good as it gets, it has already made all the hard work worth it. It has already made all the bruises worth suffering. Everything that I have done has brought me to this moment, and I have the chance to make my dream real. Not just for me. For everyone. In just a few days I could be the measuring stick that some young girl tries to live up to. I could be the face of the next generation’s championship dreams. I have spent months talking about the road back to the ring, but now I am seeing the prize at the end of the line. This match, this moment, is the end goal for every woman in this company. It’s a way bigger feeling than anything I experienced in Blast from the Past, but in the best possible way. It’s enough to make all of the pain and suffering seem worth it. It’s enough to not be afraid of if or when the next setback is coming. Being in this match and being able to compete for the thing that I have always wanted is more than enough to make all of the struggle worth it.

I know that I am going to be bringing my absolute best against Amber. I expect that she’s going to do the same, regardless of if she’s already looking ahead to Into the Void. I know that the championship means too much to her to phone it in. That means that there aren’t going to be any excuses once the match is over. Amber said that if someone steps up to beat her, she would be the first person to raise their hand in victory because that is what a real champion does. I can promise her that if the match goes her way, I will be there to do that exact same thing. Before I can be a champion that everyone in this business looks up to, I had to be a challenger that really understood everything she was fighting for.

I think I’m ready for that responsibility, and I’m definitely not ready to let this feeling go.

Get ready for the fight of your life Amber, because I’m not going to let you take my dream away from me.



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