Loneliness.
It’s an emotional pain that we’ve all felt at one time or another. Many have gone on record and tried to deny the fact, stating simply that they did not need anyone in their life and thus, did not experience the pain of having nobody in your life that you could call a friend and/or loved one. They would justify this fabrication by stating that they were not a ‘people person,’ or that too often others have hurt them or let them down. Anything to continue the illusion of being strong, even when there were no eyes around that might see otherwise. To come home to an empty house when it might be nicer to have someone there waiting on you, possibly greet you in a warm and loving manner? To go to a movie alone when the experience might be more enjoyable when shared with a close friend? To take a walk alone in the park on a cool, autumn evening and the enjoyment might not be more so with a special someone walking at your side?
Still, friends? Family? Mothers and fathers? Best friend. Sisters. …
Brothers.
Some people make excuses. Others ‘substitute’ people for animals and state they prefer the latter to the former. Some ‘can’t handle’ the stress people provide and instead provide the comforts of companionship with a cat or a dog, or any type of pet. And to these peoples’ credit, this is not such a bad thing. Animals want love and food with a roof over their head, whereas people want - everything.
Las Vegas, Nevada - 03/28/2021
University Medical Center
Yes, that’s right. A return trip but this time, circumstances had been reversed. The last time we were here was in December of 2020 when Aron Baltarasson had been admitted for blunt trauma, the direct result of a heinous attack at the hands of Austin James Mercer. However, this time it was not the younger sibling of the SCW Superstar known as Fenris that had been admitted and was currently undergoing examinations, but Fenris -- Kristjan -- himself. It was only a few hours prior when he and the aforementioned Austin James Mercer had fought in the Lion’s Den in the Supercard event, Blaze of Glory IX, a match that was unlike any sanctioned ‘match’ of its kind. Held inside the confined of an MMA cage, and was nothing less than a fight between two men with a festering grudge built between them, it lived up to everything it had professed to be.
A war.
Fenris and Austin beat each other absolutely senseless, reducing the other to bloody messes and worse. Yet despite the fact he was outsized by fifty pounds of muscle and several inches in height, it was his tenacity and determination to uphold his family’s honor that helped Fenris prevail. But he resembled anything but a winner.
The blood in his hair had already begun to stick, practically gluing his blonde locks to his scalp and the same crimson stained and dried to his face, and would have to be cleaned thoroughly before he was to be admitted. The swelling and bruising around his eyes was a tell-tale sign of a possible broken nose, but go and tell him something that he did not already suspect. He could feel the bone, the cartilage, not as it should be. It felt almost -- misshapen. If his good friend Ben Jordan did not make a ‘nose job’ joke at his expense, he would be sorely disappointed. He felt a massive headache. His jaw was sore. He had difficulty drawing in a full breath, as through his nose was nigh on an impossibility, and it simply hurt to expand his chest. He couldn’t move without his back feeling like it was on fire. Bottom line? From head to toe he felt truly and completely fucked. Up.
The one saving grace for the hospital staff was the fact that he had been brought to the hospital directly from the Golden Ring Casino, so he was clad in just his wrestling shorts, formerly white but now stained with blood and sweat. They had taken extra precautions not to move him too quickly as they positioned him on the CT examination table, making him as comfortable as they were able, given the circumstances.
“Jesus! What the hell happened to him?” A middle aged woman, the floor’s head nurse, asked without bothering to lower her tone for his or anybody else’s benefit as she spoke with the CT tech. “Was he in a car wreck? I wasn’t informed about any...”
“No, he was in a fight.” The tech interrupted.
“He looks it! Had anyone notified the police?”
“No, not that type of fight. A professional one. He’s a professional wrestler.”
“I… take it then that he lost?”
“No, as a matter of fact, he won as is my understanding.”
“Really? Wow. Would hate to see the loser.”
The discussion between the nurse and the technician was not lost on Fenris, even though they had assumed he was too ‘out of it’ to be paying them much mind, let alone understand them. His eyes remained close but he was unable to hide the smirk of satisfaction that etched itself on his bloody and bruised face, a soft chuckle escaping from his lips. That line told the two in the room with him that he was not only alert despite the pain he was in and the medications that he had been provided, but he had heard. Every. Word. A hushed whisper between them followed and the nurse quickly made her exit as the CT technician went about his business…
“Well, the fact is that you do have a concussion.” The doctor said as Fenris sat back in the bed he had been provided in the private room he had been moved into. “Broken nose, and two cracked ribs…” He went on to further explain and Fenris came close to responding with “No shit!?” but surprisingly held his tongue in check and allowed the doctor to go about his business. He simply sat there like a carved statue, watching and if truth be told, he heard only bits and pieces of what the doctor was saying. His mind, though addled with a strong sedative and pain killer, was alert enough to have come to a hurtful realization; nobody was there for him. Kalei Hale had done him a favor of contacting the members of London Underground to retrieve his belongings from the Casino, and deliver them to Dani Weston’s at the Turnberry Towers where she was watching over his beloved Kyssa. She had even overstepped her personal boundaries between student and master, and went into his condo to deliver to him a change of clothes, while she herself was now on a flight back to Hawaii with the promise of checking in on her student in the morning. But other than that…? Nothing. Nobody. Not even Bobbie Dahl - who had been at the show - had checked in on him, preferring instead to go out for drinks with Bella Madison and Courtney Pierce. And Aron…? Well, that one was on him. Aron would have been right there by his side, even if he would have to fight to get past the visiting restrictions. He’d have been there were it not for Fenris’s own stupidity in trying to protect his flesh and blood.
If only Kristjan knew…
As earlier out in the lobby, Aron himself had stood up from where he had been waiting ever since Daniel Morgan had him driven to the hospital, greeting the doctor who filled him in on everything concerning his brother’s diagnosis and well-being. Aron, who had been cruelly ‘dismissed’ from his duties as his brother’s manager in an act of protection, had all but ignored his brother’s ‘demands’ to return to Iceland, and was right there when he was needed, whether Kristjan knew it or not.
The doctor was still prattling on, but this time Fenris’s ears picked up “... so we’ll need you to remain overnight for observation…”
“No.” That was all Fenris had said, but it might have had the weight of the world behind it because it brought the doctor to a stop. He lowered his glasses and he said, “Excuse me?”
“I am going home.” Was all he said, his eyes remaining downcast.
“Mister Baltarasson, I don’t think you understand…”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Finally Fenris looked up and despite the pain he was in, he was just a little more than resolute - and quite a bit stubborn. He wanted to be home, in his own bed. Not some sterilized cell. “I. Am. Going. Home!”
The doctor took a step forward as Fenris turned at the waist, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. A stabbing jolt of pain went up his body, and he tried his best to hide it, but the doctor was not fooled or moved by what some might see as bravery, but what was actually a foolhardy sense of bravado. He placed hand on Fenris’s arm and said, “I am afraid I must insist…”
“Doctor…” He spoke in a tone that practically screamed a warning. “Take your hand OFF of me!”
The doctor did so, but he remained where he stood and their eyes met in a clash of wills. The doctor for wanting what was absolutely best for his patient, and for himself to avoid any further complications and thus, a potential lawsuit. And Fenris, who was just plain, stupid stubborn. The doctor did not even have a chance to further plead his case before Fenris again cut him off and he said, “You set my nose. Taped my ribs. Just give me whatever prescription you planned and let. Me. Go! Otherwise, I will call whoever I have to. Manager. Police. Lawyer - whatever - and tell them you are trying to hold me here against my will!”
Ah, and there it was. The threat that ended this battle of wills. The threat of a lawsuit. The doctor, of course, knew what was best for his patient, but if the patient was like this one and refused to listen? There was little that he could do. He could not hold him here against his will. He would have to be released against his orders.
“Very well.” The doctor sighed, defeated. He didn’t know who he was dealing with when engaging “the White Wolf” in a battle of wills. “I’ll have your discharge and release papers drawn up now. You’ll be discharged within the hour.”
The doctor took his leave and exited the room, shutting the door behind him. Only then when he was alone, and there were no witnesses, did Fenris hang his head and his shoulders slumped. He knew the doctor was right. He knew that he should remain where he was for his own safety and well-being. But, if nobody else gave a damn, why should he?
As Fenris exited the ER of the hospital and walked past the same waiting room as before, he was unable to resist taking one look before leaving. Empty. Well, empty of people whom he knew. And… It hurt. As much as he tried to fight the fact, he was unable to deny it. Four months ago, the waiting room had been filled practically to capacity with friends and well wishers, people who the brothers had grown closer to over the course of their SCW tenure. They were unable to visit Aron, given Covid restrictions, but the sentiment was there. They were there for Aron, but not for him. Part of him couldn’t exactly blame them. Aron was an absolute angel, whereas he … was not.
Fenris cast one last look at the empty waiting room before he turned and walked out of the hospital doors and toward the waiting taxi to take him home. Missing by mere moments, Aron walking back in from the cafeteria with a coffee in his hand.
“A lot has happened over the past several weeks, and not all of it good. Okay, that was the biggest understatement of 2021 so far. Let's face facts; it's been one giant fuck up after another. And I won't lie. Most of it's been my own damn fault. I'm not one of these guys who will go out of his way to avoid admitting fault or to keep from being proven wrong. If I'm wrong, I have no shame in admitting it. (It just doesn't happen very often.) If I fuck some shit up, I'll say so. And so far I've done nothing BUT fuck up.”
“I'm beginning to wonder if coming back and resuming my career in SCW was one of these mistakes. I am not where I should be. I am not where I belong. Before 2021 even started, I was . By getting involved with Mercer, I inadvertently put my own brother in harm's way. Not once, but twice. Aron, the one person who had always been a constant in my life. No matter how angry I got. No matter how much I yelled and cursed, he never left my side. It would be easy to place the blame for what happened to him on his shoulders, but the truth is he only got hurt because of me. I tend to get right in peoples’ faces and do what I think is right, and I don’t stop to think about what might happen because I got involved in a pissing contest. Which led me to making the biggest mistake of my life and well… by now you should know what I did. It was bad enough to piss practically everyone off and make them not want to have anything to do with me, which only compounded the problem with the Shepherds. The issues between David and myself has been festering for months, and while I would have preferred it remain between us, it would seem that fucked up Cult of theirs can’t grasp the concept of one on one, man to man. Every god damn time I get my hands on David, dear ol’ Daddy jumps in to help and I get the shit beat out of me. And do you know who was the only person to step up and offer to have my back?”
“Yeah. The same man that I’m set to face this Sunday. Mac Bane. This all started when Mac didn’t appreciate being stuck in the ring with that fat loser Troll, and Christian expressed the option of facing me in the ring instead. Mac, being the man that he is, was all for that shit, and so was I. And that was all Underwood and Ward had to hear because -- here we are! It took one or two tries for us to finally get to meet inside of the ring, but they say good things come to those who wait. And Mac, you and I -- and everyone else out there watching -- has waited long enough.”
“Mac, I understand congratulations are in order for your nuptials to Amber Ryan. As a peer and a professional, I’ll wish you well on your new life as a married man. Not so much when that bell rings, and you and I are turned loose on one another. To borrow a cliche, the honeymoon is long since over. I have not even had the opportunity to face you in the ring, and I already respect you. NOT because you offered to stand in my corner, but because you came back. You once won the Roulette Championship and walked away a week later, but you did not want that to be how you were remembered. You came back for the 2021 Blast From the Past and made it to the finals. You stepped it up and are challenging for the Internet Championship at one of SCW’s biggest events of the year. And -- you have the stones to actually WANT to step inside of the ring against me.”
“I’ve faced practically every man on the roster. I won more than I lost, but win or lose, I always learned something about every given opponent. And most walked away having earned my respect. Senor Vinnie. Alex Jones. Caleb Storms. Ben Jordan. And yes -- even Austin James Mercer. Alex Jones said it best when he described me as a man that literally feeds on high level competition. I couldn’t have phrased it any better myself. And you, Mac? Everything about you that I’ve seen practically screams I am going to get all I want from you and more! I am not going to give David or Gerald the satisfaction of seeing me fall before I get my hands on God’s Little Soldier Boy.”
“Believe me when I tell you Mac that I appreciate you stepping up and offering to watch my back against the Shepherds. It’s more than anyone else has bothered to do. You just have to now understand that more than likely has painted a target on your own back, because if David and Gerald want a pound of flesh from me, they’ll want to go through you in order to do it. But as you have my back, I’ll have yours until this is settled. Because I’ve made enough mistakes, too many, in my recent judgments. My eyes have been opened and one hard, cold truth has been made clear to me.”
“Maybe J2H was right. It's time I stop giving a fuck what people think of me.”
