“Still the SCW Bombshells Internet Champion…”
That’s all I was thinking about in the hours after I had retained the title against Kate Steele. I knew I was in for a hard fight just like I was when I beat her for the championship in the first place, but those words felt extremely good to say to my sister Adrianna over the phone.
“Good… I’m glad…” she told me. “It would have been a hell of an injustice if Kate won it back. God, they’re annoying with those almost-instant rematches… you know I feel quite strongly about that…”
I could only chuckle with positivity flowing through my veins, taking things in stride.
“It never bothered me…” I admitted.
“I’m surprised…” Adrianna responded. “The Myra that I’ve known would’ve raised hell over it…”
“That portion of me doesn’t exist anymore…” I reminded her.
“I’m glad… and I’m proud. You’ve finally got it together! I’d love to chat some more but… you know… Scotty and I are quite busy at the moment…”
“Stay safe sis… love you!”
“Love you too… and remember… don’t let it get to your head.”
“I won’t…” I reassured her before the call hung up. I took a sigh of both pride and relief.
“I can’t believe this is happening…” I thought to myself. “I came here to SCW to test myself against the best of the best and to see if I can hang and I would’ve been just fine with having a fifty-fifty record… but THIS? Being a champion five matches in? Too pull off four straight wins? I could’ve never imagined. But Adri is right… I shouldn’t let this get in my head. The last thing I want to do is get caught up in it. Kate may be in the past for now… but Sam Marlowe is coming… and this is… after all… the toughest women’s division in professional wrestling. Of course… my sister isn’t the only one that’s ever told me not to let this go to my head…”
At that point, I began to reflect on my rookie year… when things were really taking off for me…
July 18, 2008
“Talk about being 24 and living large…”
The words of Scott Lockley, my trainer, when I went to visit him back at his facility in Miami made me smile as I held three championships at the same time: the NSWA Women’s Championship, the WXWF Women’s Championship and the WXWF World Championship… the latter of which was my first world title in this business…
“I knew that you were one of my greatest students ever… but at the rate that you’re going… you’re going to wind up being the greatest student I’ve ever had.”
“Thanks Scott…” I said with a laugh. “When I first came here, I told you that I was going to be a star in this business… six and a half months into my mainstream I am… and here I am, a TRIPLE CHAMPION! A WORLD CHAMPION! I’m just turning 24 today and I’ve ALREADY got it made! I already know that I'm going to be one of the best wrestlers in this business for a long time…”
My youth and inexperience, especially with handling success, was definitely showing here.
“I’m not talking about for the next year… or for the next five years… I’m talking about the next TEN years! I’m going to be THE wrestler of the 2010’s with the way I’m going right now!!!!”
My demeanor took a bit of a curve when I saw that Scott’s smile faded.
“Something wrong, Mr. Lockley?”
“Myra… you’re a brilliant girl! You’re a hell of a wrestler just like your mother was. I’m proud of all of your early success and you’ve truly proven yourself quite a bit! I have every ounce of faith in you that you’re going to be one of the greats for years to come. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves! Act like you’ve been there before! There’s a difference between being a champion and being a wrestler that holds a title. Right now? You’re the latter…”
“...what do you mean by that? I AM a champion! I’ve got three championships, one being a world title. I PROVED NSWA wrong! I PROVED my haters and critics wrong! They thought I was going to be just some 5th tier wrestler… but I proved I’m FIRST CLASS!”
“A champion acts like they’ve been there before, Myra. A wrestler holding a title doesn’t. The former stays true to their roots and remembers who they are, valuing their success based on the love for this business and how much they’ve given back to it. The latter values their success on championships, glory and fame. That’s not the wrestler I trained you to be.”
“But… I thought you were proud of me…”
“I am… you’ve done great. But I’ve seen it time and time again where someone like you comes along, hits the ground running, and achieves success quickly… and they let it get to their heads. They let it consume them. You always have to fight for what’s right… not for the titles and the fame. You can NEVER think that you’ve got it made and that you can never improve… because this business, Myra? It finds you… for better or worse… and everything that you have now… any match you compete in… this can all go away in an instant. One second, you’re on top. The next, you have nothing. Don’t you forget that, Myra. You’ve got your success now… but never think you’re a finished product… because in this business? There’s no such thing…
“Right…” I said with a sigh, feeling a bit disappointed in myself realizing how caught up I was in things on top of the fact that someone I cared about so much was even concerned that I was as boastful as I was. “...I won’t forget that. Act like I’ve been there before… fight for what’s right… don’t get caught up in the bright lights… yeah… you know I’ll do my best to learn, grow and abide by that… even if I don’t QUITE get it all just yet…”
End Flashback
“...I finally get it now…” I thought to myself as I walked closer to my Saxon hotel room. “...I’ve never considered myself a finished product. If I did? I wouldn’t have come to SCW. I probably would’ve retired after Carnage. Someone can come up out of nowhere and take this all away from me and at my age, that’s even more likely now. I finally get what Mr. Lockley meant when he explained the difference between a champion and a wrestler that holds a title. I love this business more than anything else in the world, my daughter aside. Before I leave it… I want to give back so much… granted, I still don’t know how. I’m not running up the score on Kate Steele…”
I paused as I reached the door of my room, ready to unlock it with my key.
“...I didn’t when I won this from her… and I’m not going to do this now…”
Unlocking the door to my room, I walked inside.
“What the FUCK?”
I was completely caught off guard by my room being littered with banners and balloons. A massive “CONGRATS MYRA” banner hung from the ceiling and the walls were plastered with Kate Steele posters that had a red “X” above her face. Looking around, there was cake, wine, a velvet pink bathrobe that I assumed was mine and a box of condoms.
“...what IS all this?”
I turned around, putting down my championship and the first thing I saw was my boyfriend Jason Schneider on his knees, sarcastically bowing down to me.
“All hail the greatest women’s wrestler I’ve ever known…”
I was feeling quite uncomfortable as he stood up to greet me.
“You did it again, Myra! You shut that bitch up! FUCK Kate Steele! Actually, I’d rather fuck you instead and… you know… to celebrate, we can…”
“Jay…” I said with a sigh. “...this isn’t right…”
“Oh come on! If Kate had beaten you either time she faced you, she would be celebrating up the ass, and you know it! So what’s wrong with a little private cake, wine and sex celebration all while enjoying the HUMBLING of Kate Steele?”
“No… I can’t…”
“Myra… come on…” Jason said. “A few years ago, you’d be all over this! Hell, 10 years ago you’d be all over this…”
“It’s WRONG…” I said, with a deep conviction. “It feels like I’m running up the score on Kate. I can’t be doing this. Take down the Kate banners…”
“But…”
“I’m SERIOUS! Take them down! This is extremely tacky and you know that! I didn’t come to Sin City Wrestling to… you know… be tacky and run up the score on people after I beat them. That’s not me. So for the love of God… take them down!”
Jason sighed and rolled his eyes with annoyance. “FINE! I’ll take them down!”
“Thank you…”
I sat down near all the party stuff while Jason took down the anti-Kate Steele banners.
“If you still want to have some cake… or you know… do it…”
“I’m not celebrating this… and that’s final! I know that 10 years ago, you and I would be running up the scores on our opponents and such… but we’re in our mid-thirties now. I just can’t have this.”
“So you’re telling me that you don’t deserve to celebrate, is that it?” Jason asked. “Do you realize what you’re pulling off, Myra? I know you don’t want to say it… but at the age of 36, you’re wrestling better than you have at any point of your career! You’re defying the odds! You’re defying your age! You are perhaps, the greatest, ageless wonder that Sin City Wrestling has ever seen! Deep down, you know that… but you want to be humble and downplay it because… I don’t know why! ENJOY IT! You’ve earned it! Why should you hold back? Why shouldn’t you be proud of what you’ve done in such a short amount of time? Amber, Alicia and Kate… TWICE! They threw you into the fire and you’ve THRIVED! You are HOT… and I MEAN HOOOOOT…. In more ways than one HOT…
I merely rolled my eyes, lamenting the fact that my boyfriend clearly didn’t grow up like I had. He was always the boastful type… the Teddy Warren to my Kate Steele… except he actually WAS a real man in the ring and was one of the best in his day.
“...and when you’re HOT like you are… there’s NOBODY better than you…” Jason reminded me. “You know it. I know it. So embrace it, damn it!”
“I am embracing it… but not with ‘fuck Kate Steele banners’ and sex…” I said. “You’re not wrong… I can’t downplay my record… or who I’ve beaten… or what I’ve been doing… and if I REALLY wanted to, I can celebrate all of this and be so braggadocious about it. But… if I did that… I’d be making the same mistakes I made 10 years ago when I thought I was the shit and fancied myself on being the best women’s wrestler in the world and being THE franchise face of PRW. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I’ve made that mistake far too many times. I know you can’t stand Kate because of the shit she was saying to me before… but it’s time to let that go. I beat her twice. It’s over for now.”
“So what’s next? Just move on to the next chapter, the next title defense? Move along as if it’s no big deal?”
“It IS a big deal…” I admitted. “...but I need to look ahead… possibly to Sam Marlowe who wants to be my next challenger.”
“She doesn’t deserve it…”
“Jay…”
“So what? You’re going to just give her a shot just because she asked for it? Yeah, her name carries weight… but she’s had a TERRIBLE year… losing a title to an up and comer… being completely LOST… and in her last match to Maki… she LOST! You’re just going to be a pushover and just give her a shot? Is that it? Maybe you’ve grown up too fast… maybe you’re being the pushover that you were in PRW many years ago that resulted in Victoria taking your top spot… I mean… you’re being VERY ridiculous about all of this…”
“I’M BEING RIDICULOUS?” I said, suddenly feeling angry. “It’s called growing up! I love you and all… but GOSH… can you quit being STUCK in 2010?”
“You’re ABOVE her, Myra. Why stoop?”
“I don’t back down from ANYONE, I don’t care who they are or what they may or may not deserve and if I think that Sam deserves a shot, then I’m going to go through hell to make sure she gets one because I’m a fighting champion that wants to give back to this business and everything it’s ever given me and being the champion that I am and taking on all comers from Sam to fucking Mother Mavis from SCU is one of the BEST ways to give back…”
Stubborn as we both were, it wasn’t a surprise to either of us that things blew up just a bit just now. Jason was never one for humility in any way. He was the opposite of what I’ve become in terms of how to treat the business and how to treat success.
“I just don’t understand it…” Jason said. "Why are you so hellbent on humility when you should be enjoying the fact that you're better than EVER?"
“First off… I’m not going to act like I am…” I told him, maintaining my stance. “Secondly… the last thing I want to do is fuck up again… I’ve been caught up in the lights before… and I don’t want to do it again especially in a company like SCW where you can easily lose yourself in the spotlight and let things consume you! Look at ANDREA and how that’s all worked out for HER!”
I sighed with regret, lamenting Andrea’s plight before I continued.
“It’s about giving back to the person that gave this business to me when nobody else would… and making sure I own up to and overcome so much of my mistakes…”
Taking a pause, I elaborated upon my answer by telling my boyfriend a story of when I was gone… when things just seemed hopeless… and when the very man that brought me up in this business locked eyes with me for the final time in his life… under circumstances that were far from right…
August 2016
“I don’t CARE that she was my best friend for SO LONG…” I screamed at Andrea Hernandez and her best friend Chelsea LeClair during the GCW years, when I was at my absolute worst as far as my neurosis and selfishness about the business. “Seven Stages of HELL… I’m going TO END HER CAREER! Jazmyn does NOT hold a candle to me and she NEVER WILL!
“So fame over friendship? Really?” Chelsea asked me.
“Yes… really… at some point, one of you is going to turn on the other. That’s professional wrestling for you…”
“I would NEVER think about turning on Chelsea…” Andrea stated. “We’ve been friends since the age of nine and….”
“OH MY GOD ANDREA!” I said, annoyed at the future SCW Bombshells World Champion, “SHUT UP! You are so PATHETIC and you always will be! No wonder you’ll NEVER amount to ANYTHING in this business without me, you ungrateful BITCH! All I give a shit about is ending Jazmyn’s career and being one step closer to ENDING MY GOD FORSAKEN WORLD TITLE DROUGHT! That’s IT! If I need you two to help me, I EXPECT YOU TO HELP ME!”
“Shame…”
That familiar voice caught me by surprise and when I turned, I saw my trainer. Scott Lockley was obviously older and more frail, definitely not in good shape as he was in his early seventies.
“Mr. Lockley… what in the world…”
“I was hoping Scotty wasn’t kidding when he told me about this…”
“Like your son knows wrestling…” I said with a scoff.
“What’s happened to the best student I ever had?” he asked. “You were on the right path… and now you want to end your former best friend’s career? You’re manipulating, brainwashing and abusing two young women who have just as much potential as you did when you were their age? What’s the matter with you? You’ve lost it! You got caught up in the lights… you let your own ego consume you. I taught you that this business was a lot more than being a star and winning a bunch of championships and you become THIS? All you care about is being a world champion again?”
“YES…” I said with defiance. “Because if you’re not a world champion, nothing else matters! You’re SECOND TIER at best… and Myra Lynwood isn’t second-tier…”
“...quit kidding yourself, Miranda…”
Andrea and Chelsea can only cringe as they quickly slipped out of the scene.
“Don’t you DARE call me that wretched name…” I told him.
“How would your mother feel?” he asked me. “How would she feel if she saw what Miranda Lynette Rivers has become? Would she be proud of you?”
“Of course…”
“Quit kidding yourself…”
“No… YOU quit kidding yourself! This is all YOUR fault, you know! If you didn’t train me to be so fucking WEAK, I would’ve NEVER lost my spot as the top star in PRW! I would’ve been the last PRW World Champion! I would’ve NEVER had to go away from professional wrestling for two years! But NOTHING went my way for the last two years of PRW’s existence because I was WEAK! I did everything YOUR WAY for YEARS and what did it get me? Taken advantage of! Constantly injured! Someone else taking MY SPOT! I’m the ONLY woman on this PLANET that deserves to be the best women’s wrestler in the world and really… I’m just USING Andrea and Chelsea honestly… they’re minions. Nothing but! Not like either of them will ever be a world champion. I did what I had to do… I HAD to discard everything you ever taught me because everything you ever taught me made me three simple words: NOT! GOOD! ENOUGH! This business belongs to ME, understand?”
“You’re gone…” he said, looking quite sullen and sad.
“Get out of my face! Get out of my LIFE!” I told him. “You’re NOT RELEVANT anymore! Drag your ass back to the hospice you crawled out of, you old fuck!”
Not even a heartbroken expression on the face of my father figure as it pertained to professional wrestling broke through my cold, hardened, selfish exterior that I carried with me at the time. Turning and walking away, I focused on all the fame and glory that I had hungered for again and nothing else. During this horrible time, I was truly the most selfish, vile, evil woman this business was witnessing.
End Flashback.
“...I never saw him again…” I told my boyfriend, instantly feeling the regret in my heart. “Three months later, he was gone… and he happened to die on the same night that I won my most recent world title… when I won it because of someone else’s interference and I didn’t give a damn… and I WISH he was still here…”
The regret that was filling me brought tears to my eyes.
“I WISH he was here to see what I’m doing in SCW now because I know it would’ve meant so much to him! He taught me to fight for what’s right, to always give back to the business, to fight for the business that I love… he taught me the difference between being a champion and being a wrestler with a title belt and… right now? For the first time in my career… I’m actually a REAL champion… I can never go back to that person, Jay. I can’t run up the score on an opponent and I can’t reject a challenge because they’re ‘not worthy’.
“It really means that much to you…” Jason was starting to feel guilty that he ever was so harsh throughout this whole conversation.
“He taught me to NEVER act as if I was a finished product or to let it all get to my head…” I said. “And yeah… I KNOW everything’s going SO well for me and I’d be a fool to downplay it. But I’m not letting my success get to my head… not again! I’m not going to cave to old demons and suddenly act as if I’ve got it all figured out… because I don’t… especially in this company. So yeah… I WILL defend against Sam and I’ll move heaven and earth to make that happen if I have to. I’ve grown up now… into the wrestler that Mr. Lockley always knew I could be… and next time I step in that ring… whether I’m defending against Marlowe, whether I’m facing a different challenger, whether I’m facing some of the biggest stars in the division… I will continue to showcase that wrestler… because I’m PROUD of who she is… and there’s no way I’m letting her go…”
“You always find a way to amaze me…” Jason says as he kisses me in the forehead.
“Thanks. Onto the next chapter… against whomever that may be…”
For the rest of this night, I was feeling really damn good, not because I had defended my championship against Kate Steele, but because I knew that going forward, I was doing right by this business… that I had become a wrestler that my trainer would be proud of if he were still alive today.
I’ve always known that Sin City Wrestling would be the toughest test of my career. I may be passing it with flying colors, but the knowledge that I still had a long way to go despite the success that I’ve had keeps me humble and level headed… ensuring that I never make the same mistakes that turned me into the massive, bridge burning fuck up I had always been prior to coming to this company….
September 4, 2020
Leaning against the ring ropes in Scott Lockley’s old wrestling facility certainly gave me goosebumps as I reflected on my entire journey. Having a main event match in two nights wasn’t unnerving me at all considering that in SCW, I had already won in that type of situation once before. The Internet Championship was on the mat as I kept reflecting on what he taught me and how I’ve made him proud. There was a chair standing in the center of this ring with a rolling camera waiting for me and I picked up my championship and walked to the chair, sitting on it and beginning to express my thoughts.
“I’m incredibly proud of my last match…” I said to start things off. “I’m incredibly proud that I proved that I can be a fighting champion in Sin City Wrestling. With the way that Kate Steele had been going since the start of the year with being a Blast from the Past tournament finalist and with the dominant Internet Championship reign that she had, defending against the likes of Roxi Johnson and all, beating Kate ONCE, let alone TWICE was a tall order. But see, I’m not here to brag about that. Kate made me earn the wins both times. When I won this championship and when I successfully retained it, there was no celebration. Tears of joy? Yes. Moments of reflection and being grateful? Yes. Learning more from my mistakes and how they’ve built me into the wrestler that I am? Yes. But I’m not that person anymore. I was never going to run up the score. Even though I’m not that experienced in an SCW ring, I acted like I’d been there before and it is a humble honor for me to carry this and prove what it means to be a champion. This Sunday, in what’s going to be a hell of a main event, I’m in a champion versus champion match against Seleana Zdunich, yet another big name in this company. She’s been a HELL of a Roulette Champion in her own right and there’s no doubt in my mind that this is going to be a huge test for both of us.
The girl’s got a lot of determination and passion for this, I know that for a fact. She even started her career in her 30’s for crying out loud and she’s risen to become one of the best of this division so as far as age goes? I can see a mirror image of myself in that sense. She’s risen up the ranks and proven so many people wrong and she’s proven that she’s NOT in the shadow of Christina Rose time and time again, especially lately with this title reign. That being said? This match is going to come down to who defines the meaning of the world ‘champion’ better. As impressive as she is with her recent title defenses against Keira and at Summer XXXtreme… I go into this match feeling like I’m the better definition of a champion.
This isn’t to knock you, Seleana. This isn’t to put me in a position of superiority over you considering that you are very capable of proving me wrong on Sunday as you have so many people. But, I have to look at what’s in front of me. You’re not much for words, but for as similar as we are to each other, I’m seeing some similarities to Kate as well. You cut a short promo on last week’s show and one of the first things that came out of your mouth was how there were so many people that are ‘keen’ to see you fail. You’re a Roulette Champion. You’ve BEEN a world champion. You’re even one of the few women that’s beaten Alicia Lukas for fuck’s sake! You’ve built up the reputation that you have as one of the best women in SCW history and for SOME reason you’re worried about other people wanting to see you fail? SCREW those people that root for your failure! Why are THEY important? I UNDERSTAND where you come from because there was a time in my career where EVERYONE wanted to see me fail and it eventually broke me and got me down. But you… having built up what you have here… you’ve done a hell of a lot more than I have in this company for sure… and you’re showing cracks as a champion by acknowledging the people that want to see you fail?
I’ve been there, yes. But in Sin City Wrestling? I’ve been able to stave off that thinking. I know that prior to Summer XXXtreme that Kate Steele was rooting SO hard for me to fail! When I faced Alicia, she REALLY wanted me to lose! She was on commentary screaming the word “NO” when I got the three count. I could’ve caved in on that and let it get to me. I could’ve just answered her blow for blow, been my old self, and call her names, or root for her to fail in that battle royal last week… but I didn’t listen to all the shit she threw at me. I didn’t listen when she wanted Alicia to ‘bury me’. I pulled through. That right there is an indicator of my own strength. But you? Worrying about others? As an old friend once told me, other people’s opinions about you DON’T matter… all that matters is how you feel about you…
And for someone who’s a champion… I do think you need to work on your self-esteem a little.
Someone like you should have a tougher psyche than what you have. It’s clear that for all your success, you still have that chip on your shoulder and self-doubt on the back of your mind that you have to fight again and again because that little piece of self-doubt that you have WANTS YOU to believe that all the shit that people talk about you and your wife is true, that all the ill that has been spoken of your family name is true. This little piece of self-doubt in your mind is what pushes you to prove all those doubters and haters and critics and cynics wrong and the moment that you slip up, you feel as though they were proven right. I’m not talking nonsense, Seleana because I’ve been through what goes through your mind. This little piece of doubt that resides in the back of your mind, unfortunately, pushes you harder and harder because that part of your mind feels like nothing you do is good enough! It IS good enough Seleana, and I REALLY want you to know that and I say that from a place in my heart that NEVER wants ANYONE to go down the same road I did and I really DON’T want to say this… but I worry about you and I worry that at some point, you ARE going to go down the same road!
It wasn’t just the promo that you cut on the air last week… it’s the promo that you cut against Keira Fisher when you defended the championship against her that was largely the same thing. There you go again, mentioning that everyone has questioned you… mentioning that everyone doubted you because you started at such a late age… mentioning that people questioned your motivations for being a part of this business… mentioning that you were questioned for this, questioned for that, doubted, criticized, and so on and so forth and you would THINK that someone who has accomplished what you have in this business and especially in this company would be well beyond having to mention all of that every single time she comes on camera and promotes her next match but for some reason… you’re not! Does that not expose one of your greatest weaknesses in that you still feel the need to validate yourself to other people? Don’t get me wrong, I completely get your story. Hell, I even appreciate it for how inspirational it is.
But to beat the same drum over and over… don’t you get tired of that?
To constantly feel the need for validation… Does that not get old for you?
For this match… I can only imagine what’s going through your mind.
“I HAVE to win! I HAVE to keep silencing those that question me!”
That’s what’s on your mind, isn’t it? You’re putting that pressure on yourself because of the magnitude of this match, aren’t you?
I’m not.
I’m acting like I’ve been here before. Granted, I have… but still. These four wins in a row that I’ve gotten? I never put that pressure on myself. It was never about proving people wrong. It was never about silencing doubters and critics. It was ALWAYS about doing what’s right by the business and being the best champion in the ring that I can be no matter what… whether I win or lose. All those matches I’ve won… even if they were ALL losses, I STILL would’ve been able to keep my head held high because I know that those opponents and any doubters would NEVER be able to take ANYTHING in my career away from me and maybe it’s time for you to realize that. Sure, you slip up. Sure, you lose matches. Sure, you have people questioning and doubting you. But can ANY of that take away what you’ve accomplished in a professional wrestling ring?
No.
Me beating you on Sunday isn’t going to take away what you’ve accomplished. Amber Ryan beating me wouldn’t have made all the shit she said about me true. Kate Steele beating me wouldn’t have made the opinions that she had about me true opinions. Once you get to the point in your career where you never stop believing in yourself and where you ALWAYS trust every piece of yourself in that ring… you’ll know what a true champion in this business is. You’re getting there… and I HOPE that you do get there. But what Sunday is going to prove is that you’re not quite there yet. You want to know how I beat who I’ve beaten? You want to know what big secret that was? There is no big secret. I beat those three women that I’ve beaten because I put belief, faith and trust in myself. It wasn’t because I wanted it more than the other woman, it wasn’t because I was better than them… it was because I went in there with the attitude that NOTHING they could’ve done to me was going to take away what I’ve built up in this business… that Myra Rivers was ALWAYS going to be Myra Rivers no matter what.
Believe me, those three women had harsh words. But I wasn’t driven to beat them to shut them up like you are with your opponents and doubters.
I won those matches because I’m at a hell of an inner peace with myself… because I fight for what is right, I fight for the love of this business and to give back to a business that has given me so much and I’m not focused on all the noise and all the fame and all the glory. That’s how I know I am going to win on Sunday because I know that even if I DON’T, I’ll be fine and that I will find a way to overcome, be better and continue to stay positive and believe in myself. I won’t feel a bigger target on my back because I know I’d have lost to a hell of a competitor. It wasn’t my wins over Amber, Alicia and Kate that made me the champion that I am.
...it was the one loss on my record… to Bobbie.
It hurt, yes. But I learned how tough the competition here is and I learned a hell of a lot about myself. Even though it hurt, I woke up the next morning and I realized I was okay… that everything that I worked hard for was still intact. I could’ve easily folded and doubted myself, wondering if this company was for me and I could’ve easily wondered if I made a mistake by signing here. I didn’t. I could’ve done the same when I realized I was facing Amber. I didn’t. I owned that loss to Bobbie… I owned my mistakes… I owned my past… I took on the challenge like a champion would and I didn’t let anyone slow me down. I wouldn’t be an Internet champion without that loss and whether you want to admit it or not, you wouldn’t be where you are if it wasn’t for your own adversity those same doubters you’re so hellbent on proving wrong threw in your path.
I’m not fighting this match to be better than you. I’m fighting it for the business I love.
You are going to give me one hell of a challenge, Seleana… but I know in my heart of hearts that I’m going to give you one in my own right.
I know deep down that I define what a champion is supposed to be all about… and that’s why on Sunday? I’ve got this! No pressure on me, all the focus on doing what I love and doing my best knowing I’m going to be great no matter the outcome.
So best of luck to you, Seleana…
And I hope that on Sunday, win or lose, you take something positive with you that’s going to make you an even stronger and better champion…
I walk up to the camera and shut it off, feeling that same poise and confidence that makes me the champion I’ve become today. I step out of the ring and walk past a bulletin board full of old pictures, one consisting of myself with Scott Lockley on the day I graduated from this very wrestling school. I felt a warmth in my heart knowing he would’ve been proud of me no matter what the outcome is on Sunday and it stayed with me as I left the facility that evening, knowing I had become the champion and wrestler he always believed I could be.
