[SenorVinnie]

 Pete gives advice:

7 am
Senor Vinnie’s hotel room

Senor Vinnie is snoring in his bed after a long night at the local pubs in Kent, England. Having his face planted in his pillow while his right foot is dangling outside his bed. The camera crew is moving around the bedroom as we hear some typing noises coming from the living room of Vinnie’s hotel room. A small table light is shining where we see Pete the cactus behind a type writer. The camera comes closer to Pete as we see him wearing a classic writers cap on top of its head and a chocolate cigarette is dangling across an ashtray.

“Tick…. Tick….. Tick….”

Because of the lack of arms makes it very difficult for Pete to type faster upon the type writer, as he is using his vines upon his body that he manages to lower upon the type writer to find the correct letter or number.

“Tick…. Tick…. Tick……”

Pete drops his head upon the button that forces the type writer to raise the paper in the type writer, as this gives Pete another empty line to write some more But he stops as he lowers his head upon the chocolate cigarette as this gets pierced upon Pete’s vines.

“…………”

(translation: “I never knew that dogs were allergic to plants, but I guess that’s why they like to pee upon us”

Pete’s thoughts are distracted by another snore from Vinnie, who tuns his body around as he now is on his back. He has his arms spread while his mouth is mumbling something as he experiencing a dream.

Senor Vinnie: “No mami, I have always been a good little Vinnie…. please don’t hit me mami.”

Vinnie raises his arms up in the air as in an attempt to protect himself from apparently dreaming that his mother is punishing him for some reason.

“……….”

(translation): “Oh God, he is once again having a nightmare about being caught being a horndog in his teens”

Senor Vinnie: “No mami!! Please no!!!”

Vinnie swings his arms around even more, due to the impact of his movement he falls out of his bed and hits his head against the floor. Causing him to wake up and stares around

Senor Vinnie: “Oh thank goodness, it was just a dream. I should stop watching those Netflix documentaries about parental discipline upon their children. What was that name of that documentary again??”

He scratches his head as he slowly lifts himself up from the ground and sit down upon his bed before a lightbulb shines above his head.

Senor Vinnie: “Oh yeah…, The Fresh Prince of Bell Air…. Funny name for a documentary though. But I have to admit that this Carlton fellow is sure asking for a spanking from my mami, thinking that Barry Manilow fandom would get him anywhere with the senoritas”

He chuckles as he rubs the back of his head before noticing a light is shining in the living room.

Senor Vinnie: “Is that you Pete???”

“…….”

(translation) :”No, I am fucking Jessica Fletcher from Murder She Wrote”

Pete drops the chocolate ccigarette into the ashtray and starts to type again

“Tick…. Tick…. Tick…..”

Senor Vinnie has gotten up from his bedroom and walks over towards Pete, he looks over the cap of Pete and stares at the piece of paper.

Senor Vinnie: “Pete gives advice??? Interesting Pete, but what kind of advice???”

“…….”

(translation) :”Don’t know yet, nobody has asked me a question yet.”

Senor Vinnie nods his head as he continues reading the piece of paper of what Pete had already typed up so far. He is not surprised that it’s about Iris the British Bulldog, but didn’t expected the direction that he was taking it.

Senor Vinnie: “Stop Peeing on me!! Pete’s health guide to dogs to stop peeing on cacti and other plants???”

He stares at his friend, who apparently is very serious in the direction hat he is taking it.

Senor Vinnie: “Is this because your last few dates with Iris didn’t went as you wanted them to???”

“……..”

(translation) :”Oh hell no, me and Iris have planned a romantic stroll through the park behind a horse while sitting in a carriage”

Senor Vinnie blinks his eyes for a few moments.

Senor Vinnie: “And how are you going to pay for that Pete?? I have taken away your allowance since you had that gambling problem remember???”

Pete lifts his head upwards towards Vinnie slightly as he is about to answer him.

“…….”

(translation) :”I signed a contract to write a column for the Sin City Informer, where I will earn enough to gam… errr go on weekly romantic dates with Iris”

Senor Vinnie: “You what??”

“…….”

(translation: “Oh sure!! You can be the big star all you want, but when I have an idea then you will just say that I am merely a plant”

Senor Vinnie: “But you are a plant!!!!”

“…..”

(translation) :”See?? I told you already what you were about to say, you are just so damned predictable. Is that a reason why you lost the….”

Senor Vinnie: “Don’t you dare to say that Pete!! Or else I will send you back to Petronella, you know?? That cacti girlfriend that you have been ignoring lately??”

Pete suddenly becomes silent as he realizes that Vinnie was right, Vinnie sighs as he realizes that he went too far against his planted friend.

Senor Vinnie: “why don’t we get some sleep Pete, maybe you can help me prepare for my match this coming Climax Control”

“…….”

(translation) :”You got it amigo”

Vinnie turns off the light and helps Pete to his bed that he had prepared for him next to his on the small table.

3 PM

Vinnie is sitting at the restaurant with Pete, having something to eat while Vinnie looks at the magazine for this week Climax Control.

Senor Vinnie: I cannot grasp the idea that I am booked this low on the card?? I mean seriously, I understand that Caleb and Travis Levitt are the ever lasting itch that just seems to come back at the beginning of every match. But I mean seriously, I am one of the better champs of the modern era, I should at lest be above Bill Barnhart”

“…….”

(translation) :”Bill’s match is the first match of the night Vinnie”

Vinnie looks at the card on the magazine before sighing as he turns the magazine around, clearly holding it upside down.

Senor Vinnie: “Next time you tell me that I forgot to put on my reading glasses Pete. I already was wondering why I was getting such a massive headache. Usually I would get that from a regular Caleb promo, or perhaps a lack in the competitive nature from senor Travis. I mean seriously, I would not know what I could possibly say about these two that hasn’t already been said???”

“I mean at least Caleb is talented, I give him that. But we have faced each other before. It was a night I would not quickly remember….  And Travis?? Well let’s just say I am incapable of remembering when he was relevant since his in ring debut that he had made in this company. I think personally I would rather prefer listening to Alex Jones run his mouth after dipping his ass in a bowl of acid then having to watch Travis greatest matches special on the SCW Network”

“……..”

(translation) :”There’s a greatest matches special?”

Senor Vinnie sighs and shakes his head yes.

Senor Vinnie: ‘In theory yes, but that’s basically it. Because when I look at the seize of the file of his greatest matches it only says that its empty. As if we are still waiting for him to finally manage to achieve something since debuting in this company. How ironic that apparently the twosome of Underwood and Ward have a sadistic sense of humor”

“…….”

(translation) :”Humor???”

Vinnie nods his head

Senor Vinnie: “Si Pete, they have such a sadistic sense of humor that they apparently enjoy watching the great fans of SCW to endure a Travis Match. Let alone doing a promo to promote his match and make the people get excited. Excited to watch Travis get of his couch and do something besides farting and not showring for six months or so.

Now I understand that I may be very harsh about this guy, but this is just ridiculous. I mean at least seeing both Wolf Boys who I have beaten holding belts makes sense. But this guy??? Nah, I’m sorry. But that just doesn’t get the opportunity to be processed in my hard drive.”

“……”

(translation) :”If you need help to analyze your two opponents?

Vnnie turns his head towards his friend and shows the biggest grin upon his face that we haven’t seen in a long time

Senor Vinnie “Well I think if this is just as entertaining as your advice for dogs to pee on the toilet??? Then go ahead Pete”

“……”

(translation) : “Well then I just have to prepare myself, I will be right back”

Vinnie watches Pete hobble off the table before turning his head back to the camera as he rolls his eyes.

Senor Vinnie: “Typical Pete, he always runs off when things get too excited for him. But that’s why he is my amigo and I am the greatest Mariachi and wrestler that this company or any other company has ever seen. That’s right, what I can do with a guitar to wow you is just as amazing what I can do inside the ring. Something that Caleb has experienced, something that I know he has trouble of respecting. But you know why??? Because he is a competitor that wants to prove to the entire wrestling world that he is the best.

Now he is no slouch, at least not the level of Travis for sure. And you know why??? He has heart, he has desire and he has the mindset to go on until he cannot go anymore. It’s an ability that I can respect, but that’s where it ends. We both have love for great music, so who knows I will just take him out for a special one on one karaoke show from yours truly after the show. Because this amigo needs all the motivation that he can get to one day become the world champion. Maybe if all the others have retired while Caleb still looks like he just got out of the diapers.

Sadly young kids like him are too enthusiastic, too excited to finally participate in the big leagues. But that’s the problem, just when you get so excited you just waste all your energy on the first few moves and then are nothing more than a waste. But it’s still better than having to deal with a fraud that is called Travis Levitt. “

Vinnie sighed.

Senor Vinnie: “I am not the type of guy that likes to downgrade anyone’s ability if they get some. But for you Travis?? I will gladly make an exception and go the other way, because after having dealt with great opposition and beating most of them it makes me wonder. Wondering if Sin City Wrestling is a charity federation or simply the greatest of all time. A legacy of legends that have retired and have made an impact that years from now still will be remembered. While with you???”

He sighs.

Senor Vinnie: “You need people like me and Caleb to utter your name giving you the simple idea that you are still relevant. But before you start to push your chest upwards and walk around with an air like you are King James…. Only to be confronted by people like me and Caleb to make you realize that you are nothing more than a mere Kwame Brown and stink where Lebron made it since his debut.

Now I hear you thinking, what and who is this Kwame Brown?? The first ever number one draft pick that came out of high school… just like Lebron… only he could not live up to the hype that Lebron could. Now how would Travis react to that?? Now THAT’S the one million dollar question that EVERYONE has been dying to hear since he singed the dotted line with nothing more than a mere x. Because in his mind X marks the spot of glory huh???

Just don’t start to foam from the mouth, that would make such a mess and we both know that you aren’t rabid yet… right?? Oh of course not, you are just incompetent, you are just everything that would make Stephen A. Smith go ballistic every time that he hears the name of Kwame…. Are you going to be my Kwame Travis??? Are you going to excite me with a disappointed performance either on the mike or in the ring??? Or are you just like the reality that everyone else who already faced you that you are nothing more than a mere disappointment?? I hope not…, because I thought I have already met my share of Kwame’s in my career up to this very day…. And I would hate to realize that I was sadly wrong… but like many others before me… I can’t and I won’t. I am too good and too bashful to even consider to start to write my apology letter… Because I am the King that you can only dream of…..

And you Caleb?? You just need to accept the fact that I intend to fulfill my destiny that I will beat you, just like I did to Bill Barnhart at the My Bloody Valentine….. I was victorious and then I just waited…, waited for the next moment would come and take down another name… Like I did to Griffin Hawkins on Climax Control…, like I will do to you and Travis… To make you two relevant, even if it is just for a few moments… you know until the count of one…, two…., three….

Just let these three numbers sink in, let them be repeated over and over again… Because I am Senor Vinnie…. and at Climax Control… My Bloody Valentine will have a March encore that the world…. And more importantly you two will never forget….”

With that Vinnie grins as the shot fades