Did you know that ninety percent of people in Scotland are called Jimmy? Ok, that's not the truth, but the truth is last week, I said I was gonna take out some Gamer Inc tart and I did take out some Gamer Inc tart. All words, all action, no bullshit. Things have changed since then, so let me fill you in a little bit about how. Daniel went back to America, taking Os with him, business reasons, staff issues, some old flannel, Nick George joined us here to keep an eye on us, keep us out of trouble.
Although rumour has it Daniel will be back and Nick will be back off to Vegas.
Awwww, shame, but right now, he's still here and being a pain in the arse as you would expect if you've spent more than twenty minutes around him. He generally is a pain in the arse, nothing more, nothing less, a pain in the arse and he's having a little too much fun around here.
******
Friday late afternoon/early evening.
"Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low..." Nick's voice can be heard saying in the dark... "Donald where's your troosis."
"It's trouser ya bellend." Mackenzie voice can be heard saying.
"Speaking of which...." Charlotte's voice can be heard saying. "Where the bloody hell are yours?"
The overcast early evening of Glasgow, Scotland fades in to the scene, the camera picking up on the cloudy skies before dropping down to see the River Clyde, faint beams of sun slivering across the water as it peeks from behind the clouds.
The Glaswegian brisk weather is something a Scot might be used to but it was always slightly colder up north for our southern trio of Charlotte Elliot, Mackenzie Page and Nick George. London was far from a tropical climate, but like everything is bigger in Texas, everything was colder - and cheaper - up north.
The camera zooms in towards the upper half of Nick George, his hands on his hip as he smiles proudly at the faces of disbelief, looks of utter confusion and disappointment on the faces of Charlotte Elliot and Mackenzie Page.
"You look like an absolute knobhead." Mackenzie tells him slowly through gritted teeth. "Although that's an insult to knobheads everywhere. You look beyond that. You look like an absolute joke."
"Are you trying to steal Amanda Hugginkiss' job on the SCW shows?" Charlotte adds.
"First off, I look more of a woman than she ever will." He says before realizing the words coming out of his mouth. "Scratch that, I didn't mean it like that, I meant you can tell that's a fella, but if I whacked on a wig, it'll be like that song Lola, L-O-L-A Loooooooooola!"
"That doesn't make you sound any better." Charlotte says with a sharp shake of her head
"If that song get's stuck in my head, I will turn you in to a fully fledged woman." Mackenzie quickly adds. "What the fuck is wrong with you and why are you wearing a skirt?"
The camera moves down Nick to show him in a kilt, sporran and long socks. Nick puts his hands on his hips and smirks.
"It's a kilt." Nick says proudly. "Not a skirt, not a dress, a kilt. We're in Scotland, the place of the kilt and I thought when in Scotland, be a Scotsman and wear a kilt and get absolutely plastered on Tenants or Super Brew. I think it suits me."
Charlotte and Mackenzie look at each other than across at Nick once more, both women shaking their heads in unison.
"No, the socks are bad enough but the skirt..." Mackenzie says shaking her head.
"Oi." Nick snaps back with a playful point of his index finger. "These socks make my calves look bloody fantastic."
Nick turns his right calf towards the women but both shake their head in disagreement.
"Fucking embarrassed to be near you dressed like that." Mackenzie tells him.
"You'd be more embarrassed if I did this." Nick tells her.
Nick starts to attempt to try a highland jig stepping on one foot while raising his arm about his head, before switching to the other foot and arm. Mackenzie quickly turns and walks away, walking along the banks of the Clyde, quickly followed by Charlotte. Nick stops dancing and puts his arms out wide.
"Told ya!" He says with a proud smirk before moving towards them.
"When's Daniel getting back?" Mackenzie asks Charlotte.
"Tomorrow." Nick interjects as he jumps in between Charlotte and Mackenzie, putting his arms around their shoulders. "See, he got sorted what he needed to get sorted. Thought I might have been needed to keep an eye on some things and people while he couldn't, but that seems to have gone absolutely tits up, so he'll be back tomorrow and I'll be heading back to Vegas."
"Thank fuck." Mackenzie says as she pushes his arm off her shoulder.
"Awwww" He replies with a pouting lip "I'll miss you too."
Charlotte shakes Nick's other arm from her shoulder and Nick points at something in the distance.
"Oh!" He says waving his finger. "Stay here, I'll be back in a minute."
As Nick takes off, Charlotte and Mackenzie turns to face the river, Mackenzie putting her arm on a barrier in front.
"Still don't wanna be in this tournament?" Charlotte asks Mackenzie.
Mackenzie glares down at the river, not making eye contact with Charlotte.
"At the point where I couldn't give two fuck." Mackenzie admits. "I'm not really challenged by it at all. I mean I'm destroying jobbers here. Char Kwan couldn't win if her life depended on it and now I'm taking on some bird from SCU who doesn't exactly look impressive. Yeah, she got through a match a bit ago but mate, she doesn't even look like a challenge. I mean SCU people, some of them are alright and might be able to go toe to toe but most are there cause they're lazy as fuck."
"Lazy?" Charlotte questions.
"No huge promo work." Mackenzie says. "Occasional spot on a show, turn up, wrestle, go home. That's pretty lazy to me. They're pretty part time while we bust our arses. We're premier league, they're league two. Let them blow themselves out. There's fuck all challenge in that. Why beat up part timers?"
"Cause the prize at the end." Charlotte says with a shrug. "If I want the prize at the end."
Charlotte rolls her eyes and turns her head to the left to see a man wearing a Slayer, Lamb of God and Anthrax tour T-shirt, and a beard covering his face. Charlotte nods politely to the man.
"Nice shirt." She says politely.
"Are you a fan?" The man replies.
Charlotte raises her eyebrow, slightly taken off guard by the mans accent, clearly not Scottish, more towards English.
"Not as much as most." Charlotte admits "but the shirt is decent. You're a long way from home."
"So are you by the sound of it." The man replies.
"London." Charlotte says with a nod.
"Baldock here." The man replies.
Mackenzie turns her head, watching the conversation.
"I'm Charlotte." She says introducing herself.
"Dave." The man replies.
"Nice to meet ya Dave." Charlotte says with a nod. "What brings you to the piss poor weather of Scotland?"
"I'm going to Edinburgh." He tells her.
"Well if you end up with a spare day on Sunday and end up back around here, I'm a wrestler for SCW, we got a show here in town." Charlotte tells him. "You should check it out."
"SCW." Dave replies. "I've seen that place. I like those commentators, that keep it clean Jason line is great."
Charlotte nods politely.
"Gotta go, enjoy Edinburgh." Charlotte says raising the devil horns sign to the man.
Dave responds with a devil horns sign of his own before Charlotte and Mackenzie walk on down the river.
"What was all that about?" Mackenzie asks Charlotte.
"Rules of a wrestler." Charlotte says. "We're always on. It wouldn't hurt you to be a bit more integrated with the fans. It might give ya the motivation you need to go on and win the tournament. Seeing the fans around you wanting you to win might kick ya up the arse."
"Bollocks." Mackenzie responds
Charlotte shakes her head but Nick finally reemerges holding three things in his hand, food that looks to be covered in a thick crispy batter.
"Get your laughing gear around this." Nick says as he hands the two women something wrapped in paper.
Charlotte and Mackenzie look at each other as Nick takes a bite from his and grins from ear to ear.
"Fantastic!" He says as he swallows.
"What are these?" Mackenzie asks.
"Just try it." Nick insists.
Charlotte bites in to it but Mackenzie looks at her wearily.
"It's a deep friend Mars bar." Nick says with a grin.
Charlotte stops chewing mid bite and looks towards Nick with a raised eyebrow. Mackenzie points behind Nick.
"Look, giant bird!" She says pointing more firmly.
As Nick turns around to look for what Mackenzie said was lurking behind him, she quickly throws the deep friend Mars bar over her shoulder, and in to the river. Nick turns back to look at Mackenzie.
"It flew away before you could turn around." She tells him with a smile on her face. "Also, yummy."
Nick grins and looks at the two.
"Right, I've signed us up for Scottish dancing lessons." Nick says pointing at the two. "I don't need them as you could see earlier, but you two might need some work."
"No can do." Mackenzie says with a shake of her head. "I got a promo to cut, but you two can crack on with dancing."
"Come on Charley." Nick says linking his arm with Charlotte. "We'll let little Ms. Sunshine here do what she's gotta while we cut a rug."
Nick pulls Charlotte away from the scene as Mackenzie leans on the rail by the water, the camera on the right side of her face.
"Two weeks on the spin." Mackenzie starts. "I know it's no rest for the wicked but fucking hell, that takes the piss. I mean no chance to rest up after that beating Char Kwan handed me last week?"
The tones of sarcasm drips from Mackenzie's tone for her last line.
"Oh wait, that didn't happen, did it?" She asks rhetorically. "No, I took Char to bits just like I said I would and onwards we go to someone in SCU who can't buy a fucking win. You kinda lucked out here that you got Travis Levitt as your Blast From The Past partner, a man who is now a champion. A man who has been on a bit of a run here lately. Must feel like you won the lottery with that draw and hell, more success in one match in SCW than you've had in your SCU career."
Mackenzie takes a deep breath.
"Personally, I don't give a shit you're teaming with a champion. I couldn't give a shit if I tried." She says firmly. "The fact is a champ is teamed with someone who carried you through the last round and will try to do the same again, but that ain't happening because you ain't facing a no one in this round, you're facing me and I don't know what you know about me, I don't know if you've opened a book, saw a promo, even seen one of my matches but put it this way, there's nothing you can do to stop what's gonna happen in that ring. Not a chance you will even come close to stopping the amount of pain that's gonna shoot through you at every chance."
Mackenzie turns her head towards the camera, a wicked glare on her face.
"I know you've probably heard it all before, probably listened to people talk about hurting you..." She says with an arched eyebrow. "Well, not in SCU, cause no fucker talks about anyone there, but maybe in the past you've heard people talking about leaving you in pain. Sadly, their words are meaningless compared to mine. If there's one thing you should learn about me is I back up everything I say with a lot more punch to things, I don't do things by halves, cause there's no fucking point."
She rolls her shoulders backwards.
"I ain't taking it easy on ya just cause you're a little part time bitch from SCU." Mackenzie says with venom. "Fuck, I'm gonna show you what it's like to be a real wrestler. I'm gonna work you harder than anyone in SCU could ever work you."
Mackenzie cracks her knuckles as she smiles.
"I'll be sending you back down to SCU with a shit ton of stories to tell them about the big mean lady who tore strips off you." Mackenzie says as her smile turns more evil looking. "You'll be the center of attention."
Mackenzie turns her head from the camera to look in to the river.
"You might be brimming with confidence after picking up your first win in forever, but this is where it all comes crashing down for you Valentina." She says with an air of confidence. "It crashes down so fast, you won't see it coming but you sure as shit will feel it."
She cracks her knuckles again.
"Valentina, Sunday is gonna be absolutely hell for you and then some." Mackenzie says seriously. "That ain't no bullshit, that's just pure and utter fact."
Mackenzie walks away, merging in to the crowd as the camera fades
