<img align=left src= "http://www.geocities.ws/scwmaterial/Pictures/Fenris14.jpg" height=344 width=308>"Aron here. I know, every time you tune in you expect to see my brother, front and center. And you will, but something's been plaguing my mind. More than one thing, actually. And that is a question that has been the bane on many minds each and every time you think you did something that was for the best."
"Did I do the right thing?"
"Sounds simple, doesn't it? But the fact is, there's no harder question to have the right, definitive answer for. You think you did something for the benefit of someone you love, but in the back of the mind you're plagued by doubts. That's about where I am right now. You see, I like Ty, but I love my brother. I can see the emotional tug-of-war he has going inside of himself, even if Kristjan does try hiding it from anyone in case they get too close. He acts stubborn, refuses to admit any weakness, and because of that, sometimes he hurts people intentionally to keep them at arm's length. He's been doing that to Ty ever since the two met for drinks, and in doing so, it tells me that my brother really does like the guy. If he didn't, he wouldn't even bother. He'd just tell him to fuck off and be done with the whole sordid mess."
"It's why I confided in Ty about someone from my brother's past, a young boy named Jökull who was taken from This earth far ahead of his time. Someone who captured my brother's heart and soul, and broke both when we lost that sweet, sweet lad. To say Kristjan's heart was destroyed beyond repair would be a vast understatement. It remained that way for years, until he met Ty. But Kristjan fell back into old habits and tried to hurt Ty in order to save him from himself. I thought Ty deserved better so I told him about Jökull."
"And ever since then, I'd been filled with doubt."
"Especially when right after Ty started tweeting about going out on dates with someone else. Made me wonder not only if my decision was one colossal blunder, or if Ty had a problem dealing with someone's emotional baggage. I can't say either way, but I know for certain that I'm going to have to make a decision in the very near future and I'm afraid it's going to cost me."
Years ago...
It was a memory that many of us could recall if we set our minds to years past, to a time when we spent several hours a day in the halls of school, earning our education. To many, school was a lark, fun and a time to spend around your friends, socializing while taking into account what would be required later in life in order to claw your way to the path of hopes and dreams. To others, it was a bore, a dark time in memory where you sat bored with an open text book, listening to the teachers going on about topics you could care less about. And yet still you listened.
Many felt of your peers were studious, feeling that the education was a testament to success in life, which was true. Others had a harder time living up to that and spent the better part of their time focusing on other endeavors at school, such as clubs or physical activities. Where some excelled in books and lessons, others did so in sports and extracurricular activities.
Two young boys stood at the far side of the Borgarholtsskóli school gymnasium where the typical gym classes that were the torment of many an educational mind took place. It was not the same in Iceland as many other countries in the world where gym was a required part of the educational system. Here, it was optional but also students were offered chances and opportunities to play sports as those same after school activities. Many kids who preferred to focus on their studies preferred to avoid these classes, as did those who had to admit that they were simply no good with playing basketball, tennis and the like. Others, however, who had those same physical limits, still enjoyed playing sports and relied on these gym classes as their only opportunities.
Jökull Kae would fit under the latter. He loved sports. He loved watching it on television, time permitted, and loved participating during class since his after school focus was always on his studies. Football, basketball, he tried his best in everything the gym class offered, but his efforts were not always appreciated by his teammates. Jökull stood beside another young boy of the same age, both in their uniform t shirt and shorts, staring ahead and waiting to be called to one of two teams. Remember those days where you stood and waited, watched as other students got called one by one and the numbers on the opposite side slowly dwindled, leaving you with a glaringly obvious feeling of not being wanted?
"We'll take Einar." The boy captaining the one volleyball team called.
Yes, that's how Jökull was feeling about now as he slowly walked to the other team and heard a handful of members grumble in disappointment. Jökull was still new in school, and his mixed heritage did nothing to integrate himself to the more unpleasant members of the student body, but still a teenage Kristjan Baltasarsson kept a close eye on him, curious.
The game progressed, and the winning point was at hand. The ball was served, and sailed right toward Jökull who readied to hit it, but his timing was off and strike was awkward at best. The ball sailed off course and struck the net, landing on the gymnasium floor and giving the win to the opposite team. There were murmurs of resentment as the whistle blew and the teacher called for the kids to head for the showers. One walked briskly past Jökull and out of the teacher's sight, landed a hard open handed slap to the back of the boy's head. Jökull winced and rubbed the tender spot with his hand, and his eyes caught Kristjan watching him as he himself exited the gymnasium.
That was the very same day we know where Kristjan later came to Jökull's defense against three of his tormenters, and a loving relationship had been formed from out of nowhere. This resulted in much more than just a bond from which both boys benefited greatly, but also Jökull's stance in school grew in the eyes of his peers thanks in part to his friendship with one of the top boys of their class.
During the lunch period, Jökull ate alone but that was okay. He was used to it. He had an open book in front of him at a far table pressed in the cafeteria's corner, munching on a cold lamb sandwich when a brown paper bag dropped in front of him. He started, then looked up in surprise as Kristjan pulled out a chair and sat across from him, going to work on his own meal. Despite their earlier introductions in the school hall, no words were exchanged at first. Kristjan ate like a horse and all his attention was on his food, and a wide eyed Jökull slowly went back to his own, his eyes finding their way back to the pages of his book.
"What are you reading?" Kristjan finally asked as he finished his second sandwich, and started digging around in his lunch sack for more.
And that was all it took for a too brief conversation to begin between the boys, talking about their classes and interests, before the lunch bell rang and they were forced to go their separate ways. The other kids in the cafeteria could not believe that one of the year's head boys, an outcast in his own way due to his aggressive nature and temper, but still popular in his own way, took such an interest in a displaced person such as Jökull.
The following Monday...
School was back in session, and another gym class. This time, Kristjan was one of the two boys chosen to captain a basketball game for his class. True, Kristjan was not the leader-type, but it was his turn and his gym teacher believed it would be good for him, and knew that competition for the team would be fierce. Kristjan excelled at sports with an aggressive personality and many a time, the team he was on was all but guaranteed victory.
"Yeah, so long as Jökull isn't on it!" Someone would chide.
Kristjan stood beside the other team's captain, a youth by the name of Guðmundur.
"Kristjan, you're first." The gym teacher announced. Kristjan turned to the sea of eyes staring back until he found the one he had been searching for and pointed.
"Jökull."
To say his classmates were surprised would be a vast understatement. Heads turned and whispers beneath their breath were heard as a beaming Jökull walked from out of the crowd of bodies and Kristjan held a hand up and the smiling boy slapped a hand into his own in a friendly high-five, joining him at his side. A place he would remain until his untimely demise little over a year later.
Each school day during lunch, they always sat together and talked about life, their families, hobbies, etc when eventually other kids who held Kristjan in high regard slowly made their ways to the same table. Kristjan had developed an interest in the boy, and slowly closed minds were opened and new friendships were forged for a young boy who only weeks ago had felt like a miserable outsider. But Kristjan was and always would be number one where he was concerned.
"Kristjan? Honey?" His mother Eva, dressed in a simple black dress and blouse, stood in the door frame of the bedroom he shared with his little brother Aron. Her eyes were misted over and filled with motherly concern as she watched her oldest boy, dressed in a dark suit, stare with blank eyes out the window from his bedside where he sat. From there she could see the dark circles under his eyes, and his handsome features sunken and sallow. Evidence enough that the nightmares continued, and his sleep had been hindered for days. He had isolated himself from everyone, even his beloved younger siblings Aron and Freyja, which compounded the worry his parents had for him. They could hear him from behind closed doors, his emotions getting the better of him since he received the phone call from Jökull's mother, although he would never admit it.
Kristjan was never one to admit weakness to anyone, even family. The shock at the news of his 'friend's' death was enough to send him overt the edge the once in front of his immediate family. That alone spoke volumes and frightened even his older sisters who he bore no good will towards, nor they to him. But in This instance, he did not have to tell anyone about his emotions. Eva could see the dried tear stains on her son's face, and even had she not, she knew what he was going through.
A mother knows.
Eva stepped a foot inside of the room, and the creak of the floorboard drew Kristjan's attention enough to cast a sidelong glance over his shoulder and towards her. "It's time to go." She said.
Kristjan turned his head away from her and she saw him chew at his bottom lip as he shook his head. he drew in a shaky breath and he said, "I'm not going."
"Not going?" She frowned as she walked the rest of the way to his bedside and sat down to his right. This was indeed most distressing, knowing that Kristjan wanted to go to Jökull's funeral services today. In fact, their entire family was going. Not just out of support for Kristjan, but to pay their respects to Jökull's mother. The simple truth was, Jökull had endeared himself to their entire household; even the antagonistic elder sisters, Elin and Viktoria, adored the young man and wondered aloud why someone like him hung out with their 'asshole' brother. They were all waiting downstairs as Eva placed a warm hand on Kristjan's broad shoulder with motherly care and concern, and asked, "Why don't you want to go?"
"Because if I go," He started to say, fighting to control himself since his mother was right there. "... it would mean that he's really gone."
Eva could practically feel her heart breaking for her son, as she placed both hands on his shoulders before extending her arms to wrap him in a motherly embrace. "Kristjan, Jökull is gone."
Kristjan bowed his head, his eyes clenched shut and he whispered hoarsely, "How can I face them?" By them, he obviously meant Jökull's mother and father. "T-this is all m-my fault!"
"Kristjan, no!" Eva tried to reassure him for what had to be the hundredth time. "Jökull's death was not your doing!"
"He never should have went out that night! He never should have ... I never should have called him to come over! I might as well have been that truck driver who hit them!"
"No... no!" Eva struggled for the right words, but what were the right words, and would her stubborn son even listen if she found them? "Sweety, Jökull's death was not your doing! It ... it could have happened to anyone. The only crime you're guilty of is wanting to spend the evening with a friend. And honey, that is no crime!"
Kristjan closed his eyes and shook his head, the tear escaping and trickling down his cheek before he could stop it or wipe it away with his arm. Eva closed her eyes as she placed her head on her son's shoulder and she said as gently as possible, "Nobody is going to make you go, honey. But if you don't say goodbye to Jökull and see him one more time... you will regret it."
Kristjan's eyes slowly opened, filled with wet emotion. He sniffed hard and turned to his mom and she leaned in to kiss his cheek, her open palm against the other;. As she drew back, she could see nothing short of agony in her son's eyes. But she put on a brave front, the hardest task for any mother when their child was hurting as bad as he was right now. She could no easier hide her wet eyes from him, than he was able his own. Eva cupped his face in her hands and simply smiled and nodded.
Chapel of Fossvogur...
It was a full house for the funeral of the young Jökull Kae, as every seat was filled by family and friends of the family with more arriving by the minute. Even teachers from Jökull's school as well as a growing number of the student population turned up, showing just how much changed since the young boy's first day amongst them. There were tears of regret by many students for their past mistreatment of the lad, and some grumbling by those closer to Jökull that these children should have expressed their guilt and endearment at a time when Jökull could have heard and appreciated all.
A long line had formed to wait their turn and express condolences to Jökull's mother Elisabet and his father, Han-Jae. The seat on Elisabet's immediate right was kept conspicuously vacant as she shook hands, embraced, and exchanged a word or two. And just in front of them, was a white coffin, the color a tradition in Iceland. The lid was open, and draped all over the coffin were lilacs. Many passed before the coffin to look inside and give one final wish to Jökull, but one very important part of his life had yet to do so.
Kristjan stood at the end of the row, rigid in posture as people passed by him on both sides. His blue eyes were frozen on the coffin, and who he knew lie within.
"Son?" Kristjan's farther Benedikt, approached him from the right, his hands tucked in his sack pockets. He was never good dealing with personal difficulties, but as a father of five, he knew he had to see to his son's welfare. Kristjan kept his eyes on the coffin, but turned his head just enough to indicate that he had heard him. Benedikt asked, "Don't you want to say goodbye?"
He could only shake his head in the negative.
All Kristjan could do was stare, frozen at this final act that was expected. Oh he was certain that Jokull would bear him no grudge for not walking up to the coffin, but he also knew that if their roles were reversed, and if Kristjan were the one laying in that coffin, Jokull would not have hesitated. He would have been fearful perhaps, and in a terrible state emotionally as Kristjan himself was, but he would have done it.
The first step was the hardest, but his father was there for him as he slowly, painfully, walked up the aisle. He could feel the eyes of others on him, especially that of his family. The crowd parted, and Kristjan finally found himself at the side of the white coffin, and staring down at that sweet, cherubic face. For one brief and fleeting moment, Kristjan almost believed that his dear friend was only sleeping and would sit up at any given moment. But he knew better, and there was never more evidence to the contrary than this very moment.
Jökull was gone.
Kristjan slowly extended his arm out and his fingertips brushed against his friend's cheek, then moved toward his hair. It was as if Kristjan wanted to simply remember the trace and outline of this dear boy, just one more time. Those adorable bangs of silken black hair hung low and a strand had fallen over Jökull's left eye. Noticing this, Kristjan's finger brushed it back as he drew in a shaky breath.
That was when he heard his name called, "Kristjan?" And he turned around to find Jökull's parents watching him, their own eyes threatening to overrun with emotion. No parent should outlive their own children. Elisabet patted the vacant chair with her hand and it had dawned on Kristjan why it had remained vacant. It was because Jökull's parents wanted their son's dearest friend to sit by their side for the services.
He looked to his father, and received a nod and a grip on his upper arm in return. Benedikt went to rejoin his family in the chairs they had taken, as Kristjan slowly made his way over to Jökull's parents and sat in the offered chair. Elisabet reached over and took his hand and gave it a familiar squeeze as the priest walked out to begin the services and bid Jokull Kae a fond farewell...
Now...
Kristjan jolted awake, the memory of that pained day still fresh in his memories. He thought he had kept that day at bay for an eternity, but something had caused the memories to return with an all new familiarity, the pain just as intense now as it had been then. But what...
The body beside him moved beneath the covers, and Fenris turned and saw the sleeping form of Ty West to his right. How handsome the man looked, how a man his size could appear so innocent was beyond him comprehension. But the simple face was that when Ty showed up out of the blue, the two did things that proved Ty was not entirely as innocent as he was led to believe. That or he was simply an incredibly studious adept. And while he was gentle, he was also the kind of aggressive lover that could have you peeled off the ceiling, or put your head through the headboard.
And despite himself, Fenris enjoyed every moment of the two plus hours they had spent together before both passed out from exhaustion. And he felt guilty for that very thing. Slowly he removed Ty's arm from around his chest and sat up, sliding his legs over the side of the bed. His bare flesh warm and flushed against the cool bed sheets. He started to stand when a hand reached out and snatched his upper arm, startling him and pulling him back down. He turned his head to see Ty's eyes open whole his face was pressed against the thick but soft pillow.
"It won't work." Ty mumbled clearly, the after effects of their night together still affecting his body.
It took a moment for Fenris to understand what Ty had said, then he shook his head and asked, "What -- won't work?"
"We're at your place. Can't leave this time." There was a twinkle in Ty's eye as he smiled. "Why do you think I came here?"
"I know why you came here." Fenris offered Ty the cockiest of grins, but the smile slowly subsided and he found himself admitting, "I wasn't going to try and leave."
Ty propped himself up onto one elbow and ;looked up at the object of his affection. "Then why are you awake? Not to toot my own horn but you look exhausted."
Fenris scoffed, then shook his head and replied, "No reason. Just woke up."
Ty said nothing. He instead took hold of Fenris by the arm and pulled him back down onto the bed where he snuggled up against his back. Yes indeed, Ty West was a cuddler. Before they fell back asleep, Ty asked, "You okay?"
"Yes." Fenris lied.
That morning,
9:30 AM
After they each took a hot shower and got dressed, Ty walked alongside Fenris as they exited the bedroom and walked down the short hall to where it opened up into the main living area of the condo; a large front room and kitchen with a dining room and island counter. Seated at the counter were the other two residents of the condo, Fenris's brother Aron and their mutual house guest, Dani Weston.
"Morning." Ty greeted the pair warmly, but at the sound of his voice, both Aron and Dani turned to greet the two with a rousing chorus of whistles and applause.
"Bravo!"
"Encore! Encore!"
"Dani, no! That means they'd do it all over again!" Dani covered her mouth with wide eyes. Fenris stared hard at the two jokesters with a critical glare, but Ty's own reaction was more embarrassed, and quite charming. He timidly looked at the two and swallowed hard as a red flush crept its way up his neck and ears.
"You... heard?"
"Deaf people downtown heard." Aron replied nonchalantly as he took a drink from his glass of OJ. Dani looked at the younger of the brothers and joked, "I thought they were moving furniture at first!"
Aron laughed, and Ty's eyes closed and he held his face in one hand, but that was only exasperated by his partner Fenris who walked past him and into the kitchen, replying simply, "We were."
"I'm in hell." Ty groaned, but Dani hopped off the bar stool and smiled up at him, "Oh we're just teasing!"
"No we're not." Aron chided.
Dani ignored him and gave a whistle, and into the room padded the soft paws of Fenris's beloved pooch, Kyssa. Ty's eyes lit up with absolute delight, the first time he had laid eyes on the beautiful Siberian husky. "Well, hello!" He lowered himself down to one knee and ran his fingers through her snow white fur. "You are gorgeous!" He smiled and immediately Ty found out just how the dog earned her name as she gave him sloppy doggy kisses, resulting in the laughter of all around him.
Dani leaned in and attached a leash to Kyssa's collar, as Fenris said, "She does that to everyone who pays her compliments."
"Like father, like daughter." Aron smiled as he slid off his own bar stool, but his path was impeded by his own brother who leaned against the counter to stare into his eyes. "Kidding!" Aron chuckled, and he ducked under Fenris's arm to walk past Dani and open the front door.
Aron said, "We're going for a morning run, thought we'd take Kyssa with us. We'd invite you but thought you two might want time to bask in the after glow."
Taking the good natured ribbing all in good fun, Ty still head a growling noise and turned his head to discover it coming from Fenris who had ground his teeth together. Dani started toward the door, leading Kyssa long as she observed, "It probably wouldn't be good for Kristjan to walk that funny in public anyway..."
"Hlaupa, Kyssa! Hlaupa!" Fenris suddenly barked, and Kyssa took off like a shot though the open door, dragging a startled Dani off of her feet and right out the door! Fenris almost fell down against Ty laughing uproariously!
"Sinful Obsession... J2H and Giani Di Luca... Bosom Buddies... The Elders... Team BJ... London Underground... some of the best tag team competition that ever hit the SCW rings."
The images of each tag team mentioned was shown on a screen, one by one. The words spoken were in Icelandic with the added benefit of English subtitles for the viewer watching. And at the naming of the last team, the slide show was tuned off with the click of a switch and the lights turned back on. Fenris stared ahead from his perch on the ring apron, one of two in the training facilities ran by the Stevens's. In his hand, the remote for the projector, which he sat down on the edge of the apron.
He had obviously just completed an intense workout, as he was clad simply in a pair of red and gold trimmed spandex shorts and remained barefoot, the perspiration glistening on his lightly tanned body.
"And while it is true that tag team wrestling isn't what it once was in SCW, there are still times where it makes a return to entertain the people in the audience, or to settle a few scores. Sometimes, both. And I will also admit that while I enjoy watching tag team matches, I'm not the biggest fan in taking part in them. I see no benefit in standing out on the ring apron and watching while someone else does the fighting while I wait to be tagged in. But..."
He shrugged.
"To each their own. This won't be the first time I've been involved in a tag team, the first time being teamed with Courtney Pierce in the Blast From the Past, and what happened?"
He smiled that cocky smile he had perfected all too well while holding his arms out wide.
"2018 Champions! Which led, to this..."
He picked up the SCW World title belt from the bench and slung it over his shoulder.
"So yeah, there are benefits and perks in tag team matches, which makes you wonder what perks there will be on Sunday when I tea with Ty against a man I've already faced, and one that I have been wanting to get my hands on ever since he started running his mouth; Vinnie and Jake Raab!"
"Vinnie, I am not too proud to admit that our match at High Stakes VIII was fucking awesome! I thought for a moment that I would breeze right past you but damn did you make me work for it! That's what I want! That's what I like! I thought guys like Kris Ryans and Casey Williams gave me the toughest fights of my career..."
He shook his head.
"... but brother, I think that falls to you! My own partner for this match, Ty West, gave me two tough ass fights too, but you, Vinnie? You brought me closer to defeat than anyone has since I came here! Can't find fault at you wanting to take the world title away from me, but wanting to and being able to are two very different things! Now I admit I don't get why Ty wastes his time with you, a man who takes advice from a desert plant, but to each their own. I'm not going to let your friendship with my partner get in the way of fighting my way to yet another win. You gave me the fight of my life, but I still won!"
He nodded, eyes wide.
"Yeah, Senor, I won. You may not like how it happened, hell! You may even try to dispute it! But I knocked your ass out cold and the referee said you couldn't continue. While I prefer to win by pin fall or tap out, a win by knock out? Sometimes that serves an even better purpose as a warning to whoever wants to get into the ring against me. Then they'll see and know exactly what the hell I can do to anyone who steps inside of the ring with me."
He turned to another camera and pointed toward it.
"That would bring me to you then, Jake Raab, wouldn't it? You want me in the ring? Congratulations, you got me! Still, not quite what you were expecting because now you also have Ty West to contend with, and you have to share me with Vinnie. No doubt that I'll get to defend my title against Vinnie again and soon, whether before Inception III or after, it doesn't matter to me. I'll win, and keep on winning. But you, Jake, the man carrying on the Raab family name..."
Fenris shook his head and did a remarkable eye roll.
"I've yet to really see anything positive come from you, and if you are the next big thing in the Raab Dynasty, then surely Lord Raab must be shitting himself with disappointment! We traded a few insults, sure. Why not? Hell, I thought it was fucking cool that there was another MMA fighter in SCW, a legit one this time other than myself, but then you had to go and open your mouth, didn't you? What was that shit you were talking about with EliteXL? Or my standing there? All any of that did was prove your head was almost as far up your ass as my foot will be this Sunday! You want to question what I was then, and where I am now? You won't be so confident when I have you down on the mat and tied up tighter than the Gordian knot. I won't give you any choice but to tap out!"
Fenris shook his head, his soaked hair flinging about on his shoulders.
"It won't be a simple pinfall for you, Jake. I won't even aim to knock you out like I did your partner there. You ... I want to make cry uncle! And once you wipe those tears away, I am going to take myself straight to the back and tell them I want a match against you, alone! I called you out as you so aptly pointed out, and you answered. We both want it, so why should we wait?"
He paused at the door to the showers and dressing room.
"I don't care which of you I face one on one next. It's all about the now. The war is about to begin, and the Valkyries, the Choosers of the Slain, are already coveting you, ready to carry you off to Valhalla while Ty West and I celebrate."
"I hope you're watching, Austin James Mercer. because this could be you."
Fenris walked into the showers with a towel over his shoulder, and the scene closed out.
