Note: Anything in First person is considered OFF CAMERA and anything in third person is ON CAMERA.
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It was not a call I was expecting. To be perfectly honest, I thought my parents would live longer than me. My eldest brother, Tracy Jr or Trace as he prefered to be called, was the one who phoned. Probably the only time he had ever done so. The conversation was short and professional. My mother had overdosed on her pills. I was required back home immediately.
I had no idea why they wanted me home. None of them had cared that I was gone. I know I should have been upset that my mother was dead, but I felt more bad about not feeling bad. I had been raised by at least four different nannies. I barely knew her.
I found myself now, standing beside her coffin, looking at her face and seeing my own. Her blonde hair was swept up, and she was dressed in a designer gown but they couldn't magic away the way her collarbone projected out, or how skinny her arms were. I don't think she OD’d so much as wasted away. I tried to cry, but I couldn't. There was no love lost here. This woman hadn't even birthed me. That was done by my first Nanny who had also served as Surrogate for both me and my two brothers.
The only real thing this woman even really lent me was one half of her genetic code. With a disappointed sign I turn. I walk right by my father who was too busy schmoozing to notice. Trace was already on this 4th Gin and tonic while Tobey was pretending to cry into his girlfriend's shoulder.
No. I would be glad to finally cut ties with them all for good.
***
It was 9:34 am when heavy knocking roused me from my sleep. Ty’s couch. Back here again. I had left NYC almost as quickly as I arrived. After being put in two tag matches, I had opted out of signing a full time contract with them. Why ask me what matches I hated, only to make two of my matches the exact match I hated. I don't need wrestling and I certainly don't need to be somewhere where I was being pimped out... again.
“Pretty boy... door...”
I wait but the apartment is quiet. Shit. Didn't he like run a marathon in the mornings? Shit.
Grumbling I get up as the heavy knock echoes through the condo.
“Alright, alright. I’m coming. Don't get your panties in a twist.”
At this point I looked like something out of a horror movie. Night of the living dead meets Bride of Frankenstein. I open the door to see a man in a suit. Small little Harry Potter-esque glasses and short dark hair.
“Effie Louise Bingham?”
“Yup. Who needs to know?”
“You have been served.”
He hands me an envelope and walks away. Huh. I always wondered how long it would take to be sued. I throw the envelope onto the kitchen table and make a pot of coffee.
It's not long after that, Pretty Boy comes in. He pulls his ear buds out as I push a mug across the counter towards him.
“Thanks. What's that?”
He nods toward the thick packet on the table. I smirk.
“I dunno. I think I’m being sued. Was bound to happen sooner or later.”
Ty sighs heavily and walks over, picking it up.
“Open it. Chester knows some good lawyers. He’ll get it taken care of.”
“Fine!”
I put down the mug and tear at the top, pulling out the top sheet. As I read, my smile gets bigger and bigger.
“Well fuck me sideways...”
“Thanks, but no.” Ty says with a laugh. I give him an elbow nudge.
“My Brothers are suing me because apparently my mother left her entire premarital fortune to me. Ha! Losers don't have enough money or tortured me enough, they gotta try and take this from me too. Fuck them. I’m not going to just let them have it.”
Ty grabs my phone off the counter and hands it to me.
“Call Chester. He’ll get it sorted out.”
***
The camera pans around a hallway and the sounds of moaning can be heard. They get louder as the camera gets closer to the living room. The big screen TV shows a closeup of the face of Amy Santinto, although significantly younger.
Ty: “Effie what in the hell...”
Ty, obviously the camera man, aims it down so that it is now looking at the back of the blonde, in question. She has one arm along the back of the leather couch.
Ty: “Eff... where is your other hand... jesus and was that... Amy?”
Effie lifts up her other hand, holding a glass with lemonade and ice complete with a pink umbrella and straw. She brings it to her lips before turning her head slightly.
Effie: “It is Amy, mon frere. Didn't you know about her lucrative porn career...”
Ty still won't aim the camera up as the moans continue to fill the background.
Ty: “Can you turn that off... please... “
Effie rolls her eyes. She takes her time before setting down her drink and grabbing the remote. She pauses it on a still frame of Amy with her eyes closed.
Ty groans behind the camera.
Effie: “Oh come on Pretty Boy, like you’ve never watched two or more people doing the nasty on film.”
She smirks and then gives a chuckle.
Ty: “That's not the point, we work with Amy...”
Effie cuts him off
Effie: “And she did porn. Say it with me now...”
Ty: “No. Eff. You wanted me to help you do a promo and so far all anyone has seen is probably copyrighted.”
Effie turns on the couch.
Effie: “Just add it to the suit already filed against me. But we can get down to the nitty gritty...”
She glances at the screen and chuckles. Ty brings the camera around the couch and appears to sit in front of Effie. She's dressed in a pair of track shorts that were cut off at the thighs. She folds her legs under her and gives a straight face.
Effie: “Amy Santino. Gene Simmons once said, ‘You wanted the best, You got the best’. But the phrase ‘be careful what you wish for’ seems to be the warning from everyone. But why? I have never been afraid of anything in my life. Avoiding something and being afraid of something are two different things. You see, I know that Christian is pretty disgruntled about my having an iron clad SCW contract. He tried so, so hard to make sure I wouldn't get a roster spot and now, he has to eat those words. So I am pretty sure he thought I would be the one to bolster the confidence of Amy. An easy win over a rookie who has yet to win a match.”
The smirk on her face doesn't falter.
Effie: “But, I don't think Amy likes getting handouts. Or unrequited crushes from guys who don't seem to know which way is up. I mean Joshie washie there seems to jump sides more often than Trump. Wherever the grass is greener, am I right?”
Ty chuckles from behind the camera.
Effie: “I was actually kinda excited when I saw my name next to Amy's. My debut match as an SCW bombshell and I get to go toe to toe with a living legend. Not some curtain jerker like all the other newbs. So if Christian was attempting to ‘put me in my place’ he loses again. His own arrogance has just made me that much more noticeable. And I am not the type to underestimate opponents who have more than proven their worth.”
She reaches for her drink and takes another sip.
Effie: “I got nothing to hide. Yes, I was trained by Bliss Fischer, another legend and super friend of Roxi, much like Amy. I have watched her go up and down the scale with wins and loses so I get why she might be a little overwhelmed. Not because I am necessarily good, but because worse than me have made her submit. Everyone will be on the edge of their seats... who will win... what happens after... will Amy give into that insatiable sexual tension...wait...what...”
She gives the camera a wink.
Effie: “The thing is, I don't put a lot of my concentration on determination to win. I go out there, I do my thing, I go home and rub one off while watching adult erotica. Normal shit that any schlub does day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, I love wrestling. I love the adrenaline rush, I love how the feeling of getting a hurt on others satisfies the anger demon in my soul. It is a monkey that I will never get off my back and right now, wrestling is my therapy. So yes, I want to win, but a loss is not going to deter me from getting back in the ring and doing it all again next week. And the week after that... until it eventually breaks me and I am too weak to hurt anyone. Hopefully Ty here will take me out to pasture and put a bullet in my brain like Old Yeller...”
Ty: “I’m not doing that Eff.”
Effie looks amused.
Effie: “He says that now, but in like fifteen years he's going to hate my guts so much that...”
Ty: “Yeah no Effie. You wanna blow your brains out to try to be a martyr that is entirely up to you but I am not helping you with that. Besides we both know you never would and not to mention how insensitive that is toward people who have loved ones who took their own lives...”
The whole time he's talking she is using her hand in a mocking mouth as she rolls her eyes.
Ty: “You are so immature...”
Effie: “Yeah, and?”
He sighs deeply.
Effie: “Anyway, so this match I’m going to be giving Amy like a monster rage. I am going to take her to all six sides of that ring, I’m going to have her know how much I want...”
Ty: “Eff...”
She looks up.
Ty: “Can you go one moment without a sexual innuendo?”
Effie appears to think it over before shaking her head.
Effie: “Nope. Can't help it. She fucking hot. For all I know I could just end up distracted and let her pin me...”
Ty: “Oh for Fu...”
Effie holds up her hand.
Effie: “Hey! Hey now pretty boy, we got impressional people watching this video, like Sam Marlowe. Don't want to ruin her innocence with swear words...”
She leans back, satisfied that she made him stifle a laugh.
Effie: “Amy is no joke. I know I gotta give her my all. She's gone up against some big competition...”
Ty: “Oh brother...”
He says it more under his breath.
Effie: “I want her to be satisfied that I will good competition...”
Ty appears to stand up as the camera moves, now looking down at Effie.
Effie: “What? Come on, it's all in good fun...”
Ty: “If you can't be serious, I have other things to do.”
Effie pouts.
Effie: “Come on, It's just a little bit of fun...”
Ty seemingly drops the camera in her lap, giving the viewers a distorted blur before landing facing up at the disgruntled face of Ty.
Ty: “Do it yourself...”
He walks away. Effie yells after him.
Effie: “I get the distinct impression I am not the only one with Blue balls around here...”
She looks down at the camera.
Effie: “Hey... Courtney... you really got fix this, throw that dog a bone...”
She laughs before turning off the camera.
***
