[Jake Sullivan]

 May 29th
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Department of Children and Family Services
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My mind is racing in a million different directions as Kittie and I walk into the building. Department of Children and Family Services. Not exactly a place I’ve been a fan of at any point and time in my life. So often this system has failed kids and their families, and I was one of them. But we have to be here. I have to be here, because Ember needs me, and as terrifying a thought as being a father to her is, she has no one else and thanks to some help from Synn, Phil and Kittie, I finally realized I can’t allow her to become a part of this system.

I’m gripping Kittie’s hand in my own, something neither of us is really used to. We haven’t had what people would consider a typical relationship, but it didn’t matter because it worked for somehow. But I’m pretty sure we’re about to get hit with one big test. Early on into our marriage at that.

“Dude, ease up on my hand.” Kittie whispers to me, pointing out just how hard I’m squeezing her hand. I look down at our hands and immediately release hers.

“Shit. Sorry.” I reply. She shakes her hand, trying to get the blood flowing throughout her fingers again. “I forgot I was holding your hand for a second there.”

She shakes her head with a laugh as I open the front door for her. “It’s ok. I just didn’t want to go home with a broken hand and everyone get suspicious or something.”

I roll my eyes but let out a laugh as I follow her inside the building. Since it’s early on in the business day, the office isn’t overly busy. We walk up to the front desk and are immediately greeted by a twenty-something year old blonde woman. She greets us with a smile, looking way to happy to be working in a place like this, but hey, whatever floats your boat, lady.

“Hello there. How can I help you today?” She asks, again way too cheery considering. But I guess it’s still early, and she does have a large cup of coffee right in front of her.

“Yeah I’m here to meet with Diane Macintosh. She called me yesterday about my daughter...Ember.” I respond. The blonde starts going through a few papers on her desk before looking back up to me.

“What was your name?” She asks.

“Ra...Jake. Jake Sullivan. My daughter is Ember Blaze.” I damn near give her my ring name, which would have been pretty awkward, but she didn’t even notice me stumbling in my response. I’ve never liked giving anyone my birth name, but oddly enough it’s been growing on me lately.

“Ahh, yes.” She replies, finding what she was looking for. “If you can have a seat for a few moments while I go get Ms. Macintosh for you. And help yourself to some water or coffee as well.” She points towards a Kuerig set up on a table over by the chairs in the waiting area.

I nod and take in a deep breath as Kittie and I turn around, heading over to the chairs. Kittie heads over and grabs a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and looks back at me as I take a seat. “You want some coffee or something?” She asks, but I just shake my head. The adrenaline is working enough for me and when Kittie takes a seat next to me, I’m fidgeting my left leg uncontrollably as she opens her bottle of water.

“I’m still expecting this to be some sort of fu...messed up nightmare, Kittie.” I say quietly. And it was the truth. Electra and I were far from on friendly terms the last few years, but I never really wanted her dead. Especially not after finding out about Ember.

“I know.” Kittie replies, running her hand over my shoulder trying to get me to relax. “Electra was one crazy bitch, which is why I never expected something to actually happen to her. Or her brother. Shit is definitely messed up. But everything will be--”

“Mr. Sullivan?” Kittie is cut off as a middle aged woman opens the door leading to the back office area, looking at the both of us.

Kittie and I stand up. “That’s me.” I say as we head over to her. “I changed my mind. About taking Ember.”

She nods once but doesn’t bother smiling back to me. “Please, follow me to my office so we can discuss a few things.”

“What is there to discuss?” I ask impatiently. “Can’t you just give me my daughter--” Kittie elbows me, sensing that I’m growing impatient.

“I just have to follow procedure, Mr. Sullivan.” She replies. “Delicate matters such aren’t resolved by just handing over the child.”

I let out a sigh and look to Kittie next to me. She nods and places her hand on my back. A few moments later we follow Ms. Macintosh down the hall where she leads us to her office. We step inside and Ms. Macintosh points to two chairs in front of her desk, and she closes the door behind us. “Please, have a seat.”

We were already in the process of taking a seat as Ms. Macintosh walks around the desk, taking a seat in her own chair. She has a file folder on her desk as she looks at the both of us, folding her hands on her desk in front of her. “You seemed pretty intent on not wanting to take custody of your daughter when we spoke on the phone yesterday, Mr. Sullivan. Tell me. What changed your mind?”

Seriously? Is this going to be an interrogation or something? I glance at Kittie, scowling and she nudges me again. I turn my attention back to Ms. Macintosh, trying to remain as patient as possible with her, as dificult as that may be. “I just had some time to think it over. I mean, I didn’t even know I had a daughter until last summer.”

She nods and leans back in her chair. “I see. And how was your relationship with Ember’s mother?”

My jaw drops and I stare at Ms. Macintosh for a few moments, dumbfounded. Kittie clears her throat, but remains quiet, letting me handle this. “It was complicated. More than complicated. Electra was a crazy bitch, and I’m pretty sure you know that. What does that have anything to do with me taking custody of Ember? Electra’s dead. And so is her brother.”

“I understand that, Mr. Sullivan. And I’m sorry. I just have to be certain, especially after our last conversation, that your home is the best fit for Ember. You understand, I’m sure?” She responds, crossing one leg over the other. I lean back in my own chair and fold my arms across my chest. I want nothing more than to tell this lady off, but that wouldn’t help the situation any. If anything, it would guarantee I couldn’t bring Ember home with us.

“Look, I won’t lie.” I start, placing my hands on my knees. “I never saw myself having kids or being a father at all. From what I understand, Electra’s brother Danny raised Ember as his own, and the few times I saw Ember I thought he did a damn good job. A better job than I thought I ever could do.”

“But?” She says before I can finish saying everything I needed to say.

“But things change.” I reply, looking towards Kittie. “I also never saw myself as getting married, but Kittie and I just got married last month. My family back home in Vegas also has a lot to do with helping me see the bigger picture.”

“And that would be?” She asks, interrupting me again.

I take in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “That being Ember’s father could change me even more. For the better. And I’ll be damned if I let my kid stay a part of the system and have it mess her up after she just lost her mother and her uncle...the only father figure she’s ever had.”

“Ms. Macintosh,” Kittie chimes in and we both turn and look to Kittie. “He won’t be in this alone, either. He has me. And Ember will have a pretty big extended family back home that can help look out for her.”

Ms. Macintosh nods slowly as she looks at the both of us. Kittie reaches her hand over to mine, squeezing it and we both look back to Ms. Macintosh. She leans forward in her seat, going through the file folder in front of her, which I assume is Ember’s. After a few moments, she quickly closes the file and turns her attention to me.

“Alright. I see no reason why Ember shouldn’t return to Las Vegas to live with you and your wife, Mr. Sullivan.” She replies and Kittie and I breathe a sigh of relief. “Ember has been staying with a foster family the last couple of days, and we can get her to you within the next few hours. But I was asked to speak to you about Electra and Danny Blaze if you were to come here to take custody of Ember.”

I raise an eyebrow at her curiously. “What about them?”

“Well, Mr. Sullivan, as they had no other family that we were able to find or contact, there is a little issue with handling the arrangements.” She replies.

Kittie and I both go wide-eyed. “The...arrangements?” I ask, but I know what she’s talking about.

“Yes.” She replies. “The funeral arrangements. Now, it is completely up to you. Should you not wish to handle any funeral arrangements for the both of them, the coroner will most likely have their bodies--”

I hold my hand up, stopping her before she can finish and I can feel Kittie’s eyes on me. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Are you sure? As you’re not next of kin, you have the right to--”

“It’s fine. I said I’ll handle it. Just give me the information on where to go and I’ll handle the funeral arrangements. Ember should get to say goodbye to them.” I hear Kittie sight but she runs her hand along my arm, showing her support. Ms. Macintosh grabs a piece of paper from next to the file folder and hands it over to me.

“All of the information is in there.” I take the sheet of paper, not ready to look at it just yet. “I will make a phone call to the family that Ember is staying with and make arrangements for her to be brought here. It could be a few hours so if you have a few things to take care of, I can give you a call when she’s here.”

I look to Kittie. She shrugs and I look back to Ms. Macintosh. “That’s fine.” I say, folding the piece of paper she gave me and putting it in my pocket. “I suppose we could get a head start on planning some sort of funeral for Electra and Danny.”

“I admire your decision to handle that, Mr. Sullivan.” Ms. Macintosh says, leaning back in her chair again. “For what it is worth, Ember is a very special little girl. I’m sure this doesn’t need to be said, but please be sure that she gets the appropriate support so she can deal with this unexpected loss.”

I nod, and then a thought hits me. “H-how is she, anyway?”

Ms. Macintosh folds her arms. “She seemed okay when the foster family came to get her. She is naturally upset, but these things take time. Please understand that.”

I nod again. “Yeah. I get it. Well, if that’s all for now, I suppose we should get out of here for a bit.”

“You can let yourself out and leave the way we came in. I will call you as soon as I can.” We all stand up and she extends her hand towards me. I shake her hand and then Kittie does the same before we head out of the office.

The nerves hit me like brick wall as we head back down the hallway. The gravity of everything I just agreed to starts to sink in and I almost feel like I’m going to be sick, but I’m pretty good at holding that back. I’m taking slow deep breaths as we walk out of the building and head towards the car, but I stop dead in my tracks just before we reach the car. Kittie stops and I turn towards her, in a panic again.

“You didn’t have to agree to that.” She tells me, reaching for my hand again. “Planning a funeral for two people isn’t your responsibility.”

“Yeah,” I say, nodding quickly. “It kind is in this case, Kittie. I’m not going to just whisk Ember home to Las Vegas without her getting to say goodbye to Danny and Electra. I know they weren’t my family, but they were Ember’s and I owe that to her. I don’t want her hating me right off the bat, either.” She knows I have a point with everything I’m saying, and I know I have a point, but I’m still freaking out. I bring my hands up and grip my head, quickly starting to hyperventilate.

“Dude, calm down.” Kittie says to me, trying to calm me down. She wraps her arms around my waist, hugging me, but I can’t move. “Take in a few deep breaths, alright? I get it. Shit is crazy, but the sooner we handle all of this, the sooner we can get Ember home to Vegas and move on.”

I laugh and she keeps her arms wrapped around me. “Move on? Kittie, Ember is going to be a mess over this shit. How am I supposed to plan a funeral for her mother...my crazy ex who I practically hated...and make sure that my kid doesn’t hate me?!”

Kittie runs her hands up and down my back and I take in a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. It slowly starts to work and she backs up, looking up at me. “Because that’s not going to happen. Let’s just head over to the morgue...or wherever we’re supposed to go...and start planning this. And then we can focus on Ember when we come back.”

I close my eyes and take in another deep breath, finally feeling my blood pressure return to a slightly normal level. I open my eyes and nod down at Kittie as she backs away. I take the piece of paper that Ms. Macintosh had given me and I hand it to Kittie as we walk back over to the car and get inside, figuring out our next move, and where we are supposed to go.

******************************

Several hours later…

Ms. Macintosh wasn’t kidding when she said it would take a few hours before she called. As anxious as I was to just get Ember and hop on a plane back to Vegas, it would now be several days before that would happen as Kittie and I just spent the last couple of hours arranging a double funeral for Electra and her brother, Danny. A double funeral that no one would probably even attend, except Kittie, Ember and I. But I had to do something.

Not long after finalizing the arrangements, my phone rang. I quickly recognized the number as the same number Ms. Macintosh had called from just yesterday so I answered the call after two rings this time. Ember was at the office and ready to be picked up. Kittie and I jumped in the car and quickly headed back over to the Department of Children and Family Services, which is where we are for the second time today.

We walk through the doors, hand in hand again, and the blonde at the front desk immediately recognizes us from earlier. “Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan. Ms. Macitosh is waiting for you in her office. You can head back now.” She says, pointing down the hall.

I look to Kittie, squeezing her hand. “Ready for this?”

She gives me a half smile back. “Whenever you are.”

Both of us take in a deep breath and then head down the hall towards Ms. Macintosh’s office. The door is closed when we get there, so I gently knock before I just walk inside. “Come in.” I hear her say and I grab the handle, slowly turning it and pushing the door open. I step inside first, with Kittie behind me, and I see Ember sitting in the chair Kittie had been in just a few hours earlier. She turns her head around and as soon as she looks at me, she jumps out of the chair and runs back to me. Kittie and I are both taken off guard as Ember throws her arms around me, hugging me tightly, but she doesn’t say a single word.

“Hey, kid…” I can’t even find the right words to say to her. What the hell am I supposed to say to her when she just lost her mother and her uncle? “You okay?”

Ember shakes her head and she looks up at me, teary eyed. “Mom and Daddy...I-I mean, Uncle Danny...they’re dead. They’re...not coming back.”

She hugs me again, starting to sob as I pat her back, doing my best to comfort her. I look at Kittie, completely lost on what the hell I’m supposed to do. Kittie being Kittie, she kneels down to Ember’s eye level and tries to help me out.

“Hey Ember,” she says, running her hand along Ember’s arm. Ember just turns her head and looks at Kittie, but she keeps her arms wrapped around me. “We’re real sorry about your mom and your uncle. We know how much you loved them and we’re gonna do our best to help you get through this. We’re gonna take you back to Vegas to live with us…”

“Vegas?!” She cries and looks up at me, shaking her head. “But...I live here! I don’t want to go to Vegas!”

Ms. Macintosh watches on remaining cautiously quiet as she lets us try and handle this for the moment. I look at her, and she just nods once, encouraging me to speak to Ember. Because I tower over the poor kid, I kneel down to get as closd to her eye level as I can.

“I know you don’t want to leave here, kid.” I say and she furrows her eyes at me.

“Ember! My name is Ember!” She snaps at me.

I take in a deep breath. This is going to take some getting used to, clearly. “Sorry. Ember, I know you don’t want to leave here, but we can’t stay here. We’ve got a big place back in Vegas and you’ll have a nice big room. And a pretty big extended family that’s gonna want to meet you. And I’m sure Despy--”

“Despayre?!?!” She says excitedly, her eyes suddenly lighting up. I glance up to Kittie and she doesn’t even bother to hide an amused smile.

“Yeah, Despayre.” I turn my attention back to Ember and say to her. “He lives pretty close and I know you can go visit any time you want.”

This seems to have gotten her attention, and excitement. She smiles for a few seconds but then it fades as she thinks about something. “But...what about all my stuff here?”

“Well...we’ll get what we can or we’ll just ship it back to Vegas if we have to. We’re not leaving for a few days, though.” I reply.

She thinks for a few minutes, still hesitant on the move but shr looks around to all of us before her attention falls solely on me. “What about Mom and Uncle Danny?”

“We’ll talk about that in a little bit, ok?” I say, not ready to get into the details of the funeral in front of Ms. Macintosh. “How about we go get some lunch and Kittie and I will answer any questions you got for us?”

“Lunch?” She asks, and I nod. “Can we go to Panda Express?!”

Kittie and I both let out a laugh and Kittie speaks up before I do. “Oh she’ll be best friends with Despy in no time.”

“Apparently.” I reply with a bit of a laugh. I stand up and look around, spotting a bag next to the chair. I walk over and pick it up so she doesn’t have to carry it. “You ready to get out of here?”

She nods and behind her excitement I can still sense a bit of fear and hesitant. But I’m suddenly feeling better about all of this, and so is Kittie. I look to Ms. Macintosh and hold my hand out to her. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, Mr. Sullivan.” She replies. She grabs a business card and hands it to me. “And, please, if you ever have any questions or need anything at all, give me a call. Goodbye, Ember. I wish you nothing but the best, sweetie.”

Ember waves as we turn around and lead her to the door. “Bye Ms. Macintosh! Tell that family I said thank you for letting me stay with them!”

Ms. Macintosh smiles and nods to her as the three of us head out of the office and out of the building completely. First order of business is a lunch stop at Panda Express and then we’ll deal with the funeral and Ember’s emotional state next. As it comes.

One day at a time...

TBC...