Lynchberg, Tennessee, a smallish town in the south of the state is where we start. Brandi Shotze is seen sitting on a bench outside her local town bar, Cooters Old Country House, behind her is a wooden table with shots a plenty lined up, as well as one in her hand - a shot of something made in this very town if you do your research. Brandi is wearing ripped blue jeans and a figure hugging black shirt. She sits without a care in the world, quickly knocking the shot back as Bo Dreamwolf appears, in his hand a black bag.
Bo: There you are!
Brandi looks around the bar area, tilting her head backwards to look at the sign above her head.
Brandi: Well I'll be damned! Thanks for finding me Tonto, cause ah sure as shit didn't know where ah was.
Bo rolls his eyes as he looks at her, only to be greeted with a smile.
Brandi: Where else do ya think ah'll be sitting mah fat ass at nine forty five in on a Friday morning? It's where ah always am.
Bo: But this isn't any ordinary Friday, Brandi. We're meant to be leaving for the airport in a couple of hours to go to Detroit so you can wrestle.
Brandi puts her hand up to Bo, waving away his concerns.
Brandi: First off chief, a couple of hours is like a couple of hours away, it ain't right now, it ain't in ten minutes, in ain't in half an hour, it's in a couple of hours. Secondly, it's not rasslin', it's taking plastic, tanned and tattooed Barbie, beating her to the ground, and seeing if a cigarette can melt plastic tits.
Bo: SCW has changed a lot Brandi. I've been keeping up with Mr. Parker's exploits with Mr Huntington-Hawkes and there are a lot of new faces.
Brandi: Lotta old faces too. Lotta younger looking old faces like Misty, bitch gotta be having that botox shit stuck in her head to look younger than she did, when we rassled to a draw. Ya see that TMZ shit, good genes or good doctors? These old SCW faces ain't on the side of good genes.
Bo sighs as he looks at Brandi, picking up another shot from the table and drinking it back quickly.
Bo: Regardless of that Brandi, a lot of these new people don't know who you are.
Brandi: They don't? Well I'll be a bitch of a bitch, ahm so heartbroken over that Bo Diddley. I mean I need to be like everyone else an' get some attention. Ah need a big deal made of mah return, I need people ta know ahm back, ah need glitz and glamour cause ah used to be someone in SCW.
The sarcasm falls from the redneck as she smiles at Bo, the Native American rolling his eyes as he looks towards her.
Bo: Also need to learn to not be so sarcastic.
Brandi: And where's the fun in not being sarcastic? I'd just be one boring bitch if I sat there an' just talked straight like you do. Anyway dances in underpants, what's in the bag.
Bo looks down at the bag before looking back up at Brandi.
Bo: Oh, I thought this might be a good way for the people who don't know who you are, being as it's been a while since you've been in the ring, a chance to see who you are, give you a chance to remind people who you are.
Bo reaches in to the bag and pulls out a video camera and holds it up towards Brandi, who reaches for another shot from the table.
Brandi: Are ya kidding me? Y'all wanna stand around an' film shit? Are ya givin' up the teaching to become a cameraman or some shit? Man if ya wanna job in SCW, ah don't think they're looking for cameramen.
Another smile comes from Brandi but Bo shakes his head at her.
Bo: I figured that maybe we can film you talking about what you've done in SCW in the past, and we can get that sent off to the editing department, and they can air it before you cut your match promo and that will drag people in to your promos again.
Brandi holds her hand up to Bo, stopping him mid sentence before knocking back the shot and pulling the glass back on the table behind her.
Brandi: How about.... fuck off? Ah don't wanna make some bullshit tape that lands people on shit shows like The Real World or something.
Another sigh comes from Bo as he looks at her with a quick shake of his head.
Bo: How about you give it a chance and just see? No harm can come from it.
Brandi: Will it shut you up and let me get on with my drinking?
He shrugs as he lifts the camera up, pressing a button to start the filming.
Bo: Sure.
Brandi: Ok, bring that camera nice an' close, get this big ol' face in it, are you ready?
Bo nods, a smile coming across his face as he does as instructed and moves the camera closer to Brandi.
Bo: And action.
Brandi smiles at the camera and looks past it to Bo for a few seconds.
Brandi: Hi, I'm Brandi an' I used to punch people in the teeth!
She looks behind the camera at Bo.
Brandi: There we go, are we done now? Good.
Bo lowers the camera and looks at Brandi through narrowed eyes.
Bo: No, we're not done. Come on, how about you tell people about the people you once hung out with in SCW.
He looks at Brandi with hope on his face, causing an eye roll from Brandi.
Brandi: Fine, ah used to hang out with Cookie S'mores, and Odette Stevens, we used to go to mud wrestling and bars. Is that enough Scorsese?
Bo: Try and take it seriously.
Brandi: Fine, ah take it as serious as I take mah drinkin', which is pretty fucking serious.
Bo remains silent, not able to find an argument against that statement of Brandi's.
Brandi: Well ah won titles. Ah won the Bombshell tag team titles with Cookie and we went on a whole three week run, yep a whole three fucking weeks. That was all good though cause the weight of that son of a bitch title wasn't good when mah tits already gamme a bad back, so ah didn't wanna carry the extra weight of that thing. Ah was never one for titles, ah just liked beating up big mouthed bitches an' putting them in their place, which ah done every week for ah long time, it's tha' little things in life that keep a smile on this fat face an' ah was smiling a lot.
Bo: Blast From The Past was a big thing for you.
Brandi: It's ah big thing for everyone, not jus' me. This is number five, and I ain't good at math, but that's a shit ton of people being in this thing, that's a shit ton of people who have wanted to win this bitch.
Bo: And only eight have and you are one of them.
Brandi: Ah know that. Ahm one of eight an' there's a few people who wanna win it for a second time. It's fucking obvious who wants ta be the first ta win it twice, add to their ego and bragging rights shit no one cares about, but ah like pissing on people parades so ah might work ah lil' bit harder to stop 'em. Ah do like ah Blast From The Past, give good ol' folks a chance to step up an' ah did that when ah had the chance. Ah had a damn good partner last time ah was in this thing, an' ah won it.
Bo: Think you can do it again?
Brandi lowers her eyebrows as she looks at Bo.
Brandi: So you're goin' from wantin' to take a cameraman's job ta takin' Pussy Willows job now? Ah don't enter shit unless ah think ah can win 'em chief. Ah entered this bitch cause ah know ah got something ta offer. Ah always liked to kick people in the teeth an' god know ah plan to do it again. Ah plan on putting a beating down on some bitches an' the more bitches ah beat, the more fun ah 'ave so stayin' in this competition is what ah wanna do. Ah was always an ass kicker Bo, people gettin' out the ring after facin' me, knew they'd just been in a fight, they knew they just got the biggest whooping a bitch could take, even if they beat me, they never came outta it like a winner. They came outta it hurt and trust me, people gonna be comin' out of this tournament hurt.
Brandi pauses to pick up a nearby shot, shooting it down quickly before putting the glass back on the table.
Brandi: People who don't know me, soon will. People who remember me will get the same ol' me as they remember. I ain't changing mah style for any reason. Ah suggest the ones who don't take a closer look cause I'm bringing my old style of hard hitting shit to this thing an' ain't no one gon' stop me.
Bo: Well that should show people who you used to be and give a little history lesson.
Brandi: Do ya teach history in class?
Bo: I do.
Brandi: Well there you go ruining my sarcastic moment again Bo. Ah was having fun with that one.
Bo closes the monitor on the side of the camera and looks at Brandi.
Bo: I should get this sent off to the producers at SCW.
Brandi: Slow ya roll there Tonto. If y'all sending that shit to them, why ahm I wasting my time setting up a separate promo thing when y'all got a camera right here an' ah can just talk down it and y'all can send the whole lot in to whatever trained monkey ya want to an' they can do what they want to it.
Bo: Are you sure?
Brandi looks away for a few seconds before looking back at Bo.
Brandi: No, I said it cause I had nothin' better ta say.
Bo opens the camera screen once more and holds it up towards Brandi's face.
Bo: Ready?
Brandi nods and Bo hits the record button on the side of the camera, the recording just starting.
Brandi: Right, this idiot got me to make a damn video to remind y'all of who ah am, but ah think y'all remember me from mah days of stopping on people, an' drinkin', right?
Brandi pauses.
Brandi: Good, now we got that all out the way, let's talk about a lil ol' thing called Blast From The Past V, somethin' ah know a lil' too well. Was three long ass years ago, ah had Simon Jones as mah partner an' that man tore it up all that time an' we walked out with forever bein' known as Blast From The Past winners. Naw ahm not teaming with the heavyweight champion this time round but ah tell ya, ah got some serious man meat on mah side this year.
Brandi looks at Bo's confused look and returns to talking.
Brandi: Ah got Jeremiah Hardin on mah side. Now ah remember him from ah long time ago. Ah remember him walkin' round backstage, little less involved than he is today but ah gotta admit, ahm lookin' forward to teamin' with that guy. Ah mean the guy has a ton of potential ta do whatever he wants up in this place and ah reckon he might jus' do that. This time round, ah ain't got a partner with gold already, ah got a partner who is hungry for gold, who wants ta get that winning feeling, we got a whole new motivation for winning this son of a bitch an' ah think we might just get ahead an' do that. Ah think we got every chance in the world because I got the urge to smash some teeth down a throat or four an' Tiger boy got the right idea for this one, Tiger boy got the urge for a lil' bit of gold. He ain't stupid, he knows this tournament has launched careers, that most top champs have been outta the blue champs an' Tiger boy know's he can be that guy.
Brandi pauses to pick up another shot.
Brandi: I bet he pissed his pants in excitement seeing that he'd gone got himself an upgraded partner.
Brandi quickly knocks the shot back.
Brandi: Ah mean ah ain't got shit against Amy Jayne or whatever but yeah, she ain't cut out for this.
She puts the glass back down on the table behind her.
Brandi: Nah, not cut out for this when the bitch can't even cut a promo for a match.
A serious look crosses Brandi's face.
Brandi: Now ah was surprised when that boss guy gave me a call an' told me the situation, but ah jumped at the chance. I ain't smacked someone legally in years. Ah smacked someone last night, but that was far from legal.
She nods at her own comment.
Brandi: Any law enforcement watching, she started it, kay?
Brandi firmly points a finger at Bo and the camera.
Brandi: But yeah, ah didn't need asking twice, ah just jumped on a plane and I was in Chicago faster than a hooker goes down at the sight of a fifty dollar bill. Ah was just as excited as that hooker, an' then ah found out who mah opponents were. Before ah continue, Which one is Ivan? The one who looks like he's been rolled in everything on the planet that's orange?
Bo: No, the one with the longer hair.
Brandi stops for a second while she thinks about it.
Brandi: Huh... cool hair bro I guess. Luckily, ah don't really have to talk about that dude too much, cause my eyes are not on him, mah eyes is on an old rival.
Brandi uses her two forefingers to point at her eyes.
Brandi: Ah remember stomping on Amanda Cortez, ah always did have fun stomping on those airbags, cause ya foot always got a bit of a spring back, couldn't hurt ya foot using those things as a bouncy castle, ah can tell ya.
She looks past the camera and towards Bo as she makes her last comment.
Brandi: So Amanda, what the hell have you been doing with yaself after y'all left SCW for some other place? More tattoos and surgeries no doubt. Seriously, what the fuck is up with people who work ta afford people cutting in to them, an' ah swear to god bitch, if you say you're all natural, I will rip those fake eyelashes clean off your botox treated face.
Another serious look crosses Brandi's face as she picks up another shot glass.
Brandi: Ah remember beating ya so much Amanda an' ah think we both know it ain't gonna change this time. Y'all haven't changed on the inside. Ah've been away from Twitter for so damn long an' ah come back to still see ya flaunting that Mexican botched surgery ass all over the place thinkin' people are interested in seein' that shit, but trust me, ain't a damn person interested in seein' that shit. Not even the perverted would invest in hand cream and some tissue an' pull away over ya. Y'all just nasty an' look like y'all could do with a good ol' scrubbing. Y'all pics make me think if I stood next ta ya, you'd make me sick cause y'all pics make ya look like ya stink real bad.
Brandi takes another shot before putting the glass back down on the table.
Brandi: Like smell real bad.
She waves her hand under her nose.
Brandi: Have a shower before y'all try to put ya hands on me, an' ah know you'll be trying. With tits like these, an' your preference for waking up next to women, ah know y'all be trying to cop a good feel, but ya hands come near these, Ima snap ya fingers off.
Brandi points to her chest as Bo closes his eyes and shakes his head.
Brandi: Ah seriously will snap ya fingers off. This is gon' be like old times Amanda. Y'all show up, I'll beat ya all over the ring, an' I send ya back to where ever the hell ya hide in this world to go annoy people with more stupid picture posts all over Twitter. The only thing ya good at Amanda, is annoying people with stupid posts. Bitch, no one wants to join your snapchat bullshit.
She lowers her eyebrows and nods towards the camera.
Brandi: All ah give a fuck about is fight and ah am comin' to Detroit for that, so if ya can put ya phone down for just a minute an' let me put mah fist down ya throat, I'd much appreciate that.
Brandi raises her fist to the camera.
Brandi: I ain't coming there to have a selfie contest or any shit like that, Ahm coming there to do what I ain't done in a long time an' leave someone broken an' heading to the hospital.... legally ah mean. Ahm in the mood to beat on someone, anyone Amanda, y'all just happen to be the unlucky one drawn out against me an' Tiger boy.
Brandi looks down the camera and picks up another shot, the earlier shots seeming to have little effect on her.
Brandi: It's gon' be a long night for ya Amanda, so if I was you, ah'd save the travel money, save the journey an' just stay where ya are. If y'all do have the sack to show up, ah recommend updating that health insurance cause god knows that puppy is gonna take a serious hit on Sunday, hell, y'all may need a few surgeries after Sunday cause ah don't come ta play an' y'all been on the receiving end of it in the past. If I were y'all, I'd call whatever company is stupid enough to hire ya medically enhanced ass an' tell them ya gonna need a couple of months off, cause ya ain't gonna be movin' much once ah get through with ya. Three damn years I've been out the ring.
She holds up three fingers.
Brandi: Three years of pent up ring rage and ah'm 'bout to unleash it on ya. Three long ass years an' ah'm coming back to show y'all ah ain't lost a damn thing when it comes to rasslin', ah mean ah wasn't the greatest rassler anyway an' ah ain't expecting Hall of Fame in the future or any shit like that but ah do know how to throw down an' Amanda, that's exactly what ah plan to do in there. It ain't gon' be pretty, it ain't gon be a classic, it's just gon be me takin' mah fists an' smashin' them repeatedly against ya face until ya can't take no more of it, until ya have to beg whatever referee is around to stop it cause ah don't pull mah punches an' ah won't against y'all.
She looks seriously down the camera.
Brandi: I don't do any other speed than fast an' ah will be throwing punching at those silicon lips so damn fast, you ain't gonna see 'em comin', you won't see 'em but ya sure as fuck will feel 'em bouncing off ya head. Only one of us will be here for a second match Amanda.
Brandi holds up one finger.
Brandi: and it ain't gon be you here for more than one match. Just because ya a bit stupid, ah'll tell ya who it's gon be. It's gon be the bitch ya lookin' at now an' because ya still to stupid to figure out who that is.
Brandi points to herself.
Brandi: This girl right here. This is not a fight the fans wanna miss, 'cause that is exactly what this is, a fight, a brawl, an ass kicking for Amanda Cortez, so if y'all groaned when ya heard she was coming back, if y'all stopped following her on Twitter cause she annoyed people so fucking much with a million pics every morning, trust me bitch, no one wants to see ya ass while they're trying to eat their cornflakes, if y'all just wanna see Amanda Cortez get her arse beat by me, y'all might wanna tune in, cause this ain't gonna be for the faint of heart.
She pauses to breathe deeply.
Brandi: Am ah gonna leave an Amanda shaped stain all over the ring an' get in to the next round of Blast From The Past? Let me think about that.
Brandi taps the side of her head.
Brandi: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAH!
Brandi puts her hand across her throat, causing Bo to cut the camera.
Bo: How did that feel?
Brandi tilts her head in thought for a few seconds.
Brandi: Pretty fucking good Dr Phil, but didn't ya know we got a plane to catch in a couple of hours? Keeping me sitting here talking!
Bo looks confused as he closes the camera screen, pressing the power button to turn it off.
Bo: But...
Brandi: But nothing, a couple of hours ain't a long time. Ah mean it ain't right now, it ain't in ten minutes, in ain't in half an hour, it's in a couple of hours!
Bo: But...
Brandi: We got a plane to catch Bo, but when we get back, ah'll make sure to get ya to the docs to sort that stutter out.
Brandi stands up, turning to the table and grabbing the three remaining shot glasses and drinks one after the other, leaving the glasses on the table. She looks at Bo and shakes her head.
Brandi: Can't believe y'all nearly made us late Bo.
Brandi walks past Bo, slapping him firmly on the rear. He slowly shakes his head as the camera fades to black.
