SCW 28 RUMPELSTILTSKIN
NARRATOR: Well it has been two interesting weeks for James Tuscini and his Uncle-Manager Pinky del Ferrando. James and Dmitri, the Unholy Alliance, defeated the reigning Tag Team Champions, Jamie Dean and Ben Jordan, in a non-Title match two weeks ago and then last week James lost the Roulette Title Belt against Johnny Tsunami. Even though James dropped the Roulette Championship he still moved into the position of being the third longest-reigning Roulette Champion.
The scene switches to the dressing room of James Tuscini and Pinky del Ferrando at the Saint Michael’s College School Arena in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. James is sitting at a desk texting with his fiancée Sandy Erwin. Pinky del Ferrando is reading a book while sitting on the couch. We can’t see the name of the book but it appears to be maybe a fairy tale of some sort. While James is typing away communicating with Sandy we can hear Pinky reading out loud from his book.
PINKY: (reading from the book) There was once a miller who was poor, but he had one beautiful daughter. It happened one day that he came to speak with the king, and, to give himself consequence, he told him that he had a daughter who could spin gold out of straw. The king said to the miller: "That is an art that pleases me well; if thy daughter is as clever as you say, bring her to my castle to-morrow, that I may put her to the proof."
When the girl was brought to him, he led her into a room that was quite full of straw, and gave her a wheel and spindle, and said: "Now set to work, and if by the early morning thou hast not spun this straw to gold thou shalt die." And he shut the door himself, and left her there alone. And so the poor miller's daughter was left there sitting, and could not think what to do for her life: she had no notion how to set to work to spin gold from straw, and her distress grew so great that she began to weep. Then all at once the door opened, and in came a little man, who said: "Good evening, miller's daughter; why are you crying?"
"Oh!" answered the girl, "I have got to spin gold out of straw, and I don't understand the business." Then the little man said: "What will you give me if I spin it for you?" - "My necklace," said the girl. The little man took the necklace, seated himself before the wheel, and whirr, whirr, whirr! three times round and the bobbin was full; then he took up another, and whirr, whirr, whirr! three times round, and that was full; and so he went on till the morning, when all the straw had been spun, and all the bobbins were full of gold.
At sunrise came the king, and when he saw the gold he was astonished and very much rejoiced, for he was very avaricious. He had the miller's daughter taken into another room filled with straw, much bigger than the last, and told her that as she valued her life she must spin it all in one night. The girl did not know what to do, so she began to cry, and then the door opened, and the little man appeared and said: "What will you give me if I spin all this straw into gold?"
"The ring from my finger," answered the girl. So the little man took the ring, and began again to send the wheel whirring round, and by the next morning all the straw was spun into glistening gold. The king was rejoiced beyond measure at the sight, but as he could never have enough of gold, he had the miller's daughter taken into a still larger room full of straw, and said: "This, too, must be spun in one night, and if you accomplish it you shall be my wife." For he thought: "Although she is but a miller's daughter, I am not likely to find any one richer in the whole world." As soon as the girl was left alone, the little man appeared for the third time and said: "What will you give me if I spin the straw for you this time?" - "I have nothing left to give," answered the girl. "Then you must promise me the first child you have after you are queen," said the little man. "But who knows whether that will happen?" thought the girl; but as she did not know what else to do in her necessity, she promised the little man what he desired, upon which he began to spin, until all the straw was gold. And when in the morning the king came and found all done according to his wish, he caused the wedding to be held at once, and the miller's pretty daughter became a queen.
After a time James becomes annoyed at Uncle Pinky’s reading out loud as he can’t concentrate on texting with Sandy.
JAMES: Uncle what in the world are you reading and why in hell are you reading out loud? You know I texting with Sandy on the computer.
PINKY: I dunno but it sounds interesting. Humor me for a few minutes more okay? I can’t help it if I’m one of those read out loud persons. What is it to you anyway? You’re not holding a video call with Sandy where you two are talking you are just texting.
James grumbles about but he returns to texting with Sandy while Uncle Pinky finishes the story.
PINKY: (continuing to read out loud from the book) In a year's time she brought a fine child into the world, and thought no more of the little man; but one day he came suddenly into her room, and said: "Now give me what you promised me." The queen was terrified greatly, and offered the little man all the riches of the kingdom if he would only leave the child; but the little man said: "No, I would rather have something living than all the treasures of the world." Then the queen began to lament and to weep, so that the little man had pity upon her. "I will give you three days," said he, "and if at the end of that time you cannot tell my name, you must give up the child to me."
Then the queen spent the whole night in thinking over all the names that she had ever heard, and sent a messenger through the land to ask far and wide for all the names that could be found. And when the little man came next day, (beginning with Caspar, Melchior, Balthazar) she repeated all she knew, and went through the whole list, but after each the little man said: "That is not my name." The second day the queen sent to inquire of all the neighbors what the servants were called, and told the little man all the most unusual and singular names, saying: "Perhaps you are called Roast-ribs, or Sheepshanks, or Spindleshanks?" But he answered nothing but: "That is not my name."
The third day the messenger came back again, and said: "I have not been able to find one single new name; but as I passed through the woods I came to a high hill, and near it was a little house, and before the house burned a fire, and round the fire danced a comical little man, and he hopped on one leg and cried:
"Today do I bake, tomorrow I brew, The day after that the queen's child comes in; And oh! I am glad that nobody knew. That the name I am called is…”
James has had enough of Uncle Pinky reading out loud as he cannot concentrate on texting with Sandy.
JAMES: Okay Uncle that’s enough! I can’t concentrate on texting with Sandy with you reading out loud. What the hell is the man’s name so you can stop bugging me by reading loudly?
PINKY: It appears his name is rumpled foreskin. What the hell kind of name is that? Maybe it’s a Medieval thing?
James snatches the book out of Uncle Pinky’s hands and he picks up reading where Pinky left off.
JAMES: (reading from the book): "Today do I bake, tomorrow I brew, The day after that the queen's child comes in; And oh! I am glad that nobody knew. That the name I am called is Rumpelstiltskin!"
James busts out laughing so hard that Uncle Pinky is surprised.
JAMES: You old fool the name of the man in the story is Rumpelstiltskin not rumpled foreskin. Good grief haven’t you ever heard of this story before?
PINKY: Nope.
JAMES: That’s enough reading for you today. Here’s $100 now please go out on the town and try to hook up with a woman, have a nice meal, and maybe she will take you back to her place for some sex. Just make sure she’s not associated with Chris Shipma like what happened to you before.
Uncle Pinky leaves the dressing room to go out on the town and have some fun. Before returning to texting with Sandy we see James open the book to finish the story of Rumpelstiltskin.
JAMES: (reading the remainder of the story in the book): You cannot think how pleased the queen was to hear that name, and soon afterwards, when the little man walked in and said: "Now, Mrs. Queen, what is my name?" she said at first "Are you called Jack?" - "No," answered he. "Are you called Harry?" she asked again. "No," answered he. And then she said": "Then perhaps your name is Rumpelstiltskin?" "The devil told you that! the devil told you that!" cried the little man, and in his anger he stamped with his right foot so hard that it went into the ground above his knee; then he seized his left foot with both his hands in such a fury that he split in two, and there was an end of him.
James tosses the book on the coffee table then he returns to texting with Sandy. He relates to her how Uncle Pinky thought the man’s name was rumpled foreskin and both have a good laugh. The texting is over and they sign off. Tuscini then turns into the camera to make comments for Climax Control 159.
JAMES: Well as you all saw I was defeated for the Roulette Championship by Johnny Tsunami at Climax Control 158 on Sunday, September 4, 2016. Had I retained the Roulette Title until the first week in October I would have become the longest-reigning Roulette Champion but it wasn’t meant to be. So the question everyone wants the answer to is whether I’m upset at losing the Roulette Title Belt. Nope not upset at all. I expected to hold the Title Belt for a time but to have held it, and successfully defended it, for four months is an accomplishment I’m proud of. I have to be honest and tell you I thought I was going to lose a few of my Title Defense matches but I always managed to find a way to win. So what happened last week? Johnny Tsunami saw his opening, saw his chance, and he figured he had nothing to lose and everything to gain. When you are in that situation you have to do whatever it takes to win the match and that’s what Johnny did. He fought through the pain. He got up when people thought he was down and out. I admire a wrestler who can do that. For me holding the Roulette Championship for four months is monumental and nobody can ever take that away from me.
James walks into the kitchen and returns with a bottle of water which he opens and takes a drink. He returns to the chair he was sitting in previously.
JAMES: Well, Travis, we meet again. I didn’t think I would see you opposite me in the wrestling ring for some time since I defeated you two weeks ago while successfully defending the Roulette Championship. I guess Management wants to break our 1-1 tie and I’m here to tell you that I will break the tie and go 2-1 on you. Yeah, Travis, I imagine what you are going to try to say to make it seem as though you might actually have a chance of defeating me this Sunday. The first thing you will claim is how much better you are as a wrestler than I am. Don’t even try that excuse because you were not better than me on August 14, 2016. The next thing is you will brag that in my second match in Sin City Wrestling you defeated me. Yes you did but only because Steve Ramone interfered in the match and knocked me out. You were also not better than me that day either because I had you defeated until Ramone interfered in the match. Another thing is you will claim since I took a lot of hits and damage in my match against Tsunami that it gives you the advantage. Not so fast! I don’t care if I have pain as I’m still more of a wrestler than you can ever hope to be. The final thing you are likely to say is that I lost the Roulette Title Belt, which I did, and you will try to make it sound like I’m a failure. No, Travis, I’m not a failure when I came within 30 days of becoming the longest-reigning Roulette Champion. Who is the real failure here? It is the person who has been in Sin City Wrestling much longer than I have and yet he hasn’t held any Title Belt yet. Gee, Travis, do you happen to know who I’m referring to? Yes. You!
James finishes the water and then he throws the empty water bottle into the trash.
JAMES: It’s like this TNA. You have never legally defeated me and you are not gonna start this Sunday. Having you deliberately knock out the Referee, then having Steve Ramone interfere in the match to knock me out, does not equate into a LEGAL victory. But since the Record Books show us at 1-1 I’m here to tell you that I will break our tie and go 2-1 over you on Sunday. If you don’t think I can do it then you are not thinking at all.
Tuscini stands up and walks behind the chair placing his hands on the back of the chair while looking into the camera.
JAMES: To Johnny Tsunami I congratulate you on your win and obtaining the Roulette Championship. I admire a wrestler who won’t give up even when everyone watching believes they are out. You didn’t give up and you literally climbed over me to snag the Roulette Title Belt off the hook. Well done and please defend the Title Belt with pride. Just remember that I have a Rematch Clause and it will be honored soon and hopefully at Violent Conduct III. To TNA I want to let you know that I believe you are a good wrestler and that one day you will obtain a Title Belt. Although you are a good wrestler I am a great wrestler and the last time I looked up the definitions of good and great it was great that trounced good every time. Keep that in mind as Sunday approaches and know that every minute that ticks off the clock is another minute you are closer to a major ass kicking at my hands.
James Tuscini informs the cameraman that his comments for today are over. The cameraman acknowledges the comments and he calls into the Network and they quickly cut to a commercial break.
