The scene opens up with Markus Reeves sitting at a table in a finely pressed suit. There is murmering in the crowd about what is about to happen with Markus Reeves.
Markus Reeves: Thank you all for coming to this press conference on such short notice. I'm sure you are all wondering why I have called you to this press conference and I really don't want to waste any more of your time. I brought you all here to announce that as soon as any commitment to SCW is complete and not nessasarily after Sunday but I will be retiring in the near future.
The press erupts into loud chatter.
Press Member 1: When did you come to this decision?
Markus Reeves: About twenty-four hours ago, I realized that I was doing a disservice to my reputation as a wrestler by going out and putting on subpar performances. I realized that I should probably have never come back since I'm so old. I realized quickly that this is a young persons game that there isn't really room for fossils in the ring.
Press Member 2: What are you going to do with your newfound free time?
Markus Reeves: I'm going to go back to running my company in all of it's day to day operations and then I'm going to spend more time with my daughter Miyoko and son Teddy Steele and whatever hyphen is using with it. I might even decide to open up my own wrestling school.
Press Member 3: What made you decide to retire?
Markus Reeves: The fights with my daughter. I realized I was neglecting spending time with her and it was mainly because I have been on the road so much as of late and I really don't need anyone else hating me at this point.
Press Member 4: What will you do if you win on Sunday?
Markus Reeves: I'll hang around and try and become number one contender for the World Championship.
Press Member 4: What will you do if you become number one contender?
Markus Reeves: Then I'll postpone my retirement and win the fucking title. Anymore brainbusters?
Press Member 4: What will you do if you win the championship?
Markus Reeves: I'm going to hold a victory parade as if I won the fucking Super Bowl and then I'm going to party so hard that I'll probably burn whatever town I'm in to the ground.
Press Member 4: So saying all this shit happens, what are you going to do when or if you drop the title?
Markus Reeves: First I'm going to reflect on my long career and think of what else I could have done, next I'm going to take your mother out for a nice sea food dinner and then never call her again.
Press Member 4: That seems like you are taking things a little too far.
Markus Reeves: Shut your cake hole fat fuck, I wasn't done yet. After that I'm not going to call her for a couple of weeks and make her think that she fucked things up, then I'm going to call her and have her come back to my place and then I'm going to fuck her in the ass like the whore she is and there is nothing you can do about it because if your fat fucking ass tries to intervene you will probably get winded and have a fucking heart attack. After I get done banging your mother and you die of a heart attack because you have actual pieces of bacon clogging your arteries, then I'm going to go home and be a family man. Anymore fucking questions?
Press Member 5: What are your thoughts on your opponents this week?
Markus Reeves: They both fucking suck.
Press Member 5: Could you elaborate further on what you mean?
Markus Reeves: Sure, they suck like a black hole, once something gets close enough to their suck they will never escape. They also suck harder than the fourth guy who asked me questions mom and trust me, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Anymore questions?
The media is now silent
Markus Reeves: Good, now I have a few people I would like to thank from my career. I would like to thank the owners of SCW for the opportunity to return to wrestling, I would like to thank Congo the Destroyer and XHF for giving me my first opportunity as wrestling for a major company and I would like to thank NCW for giving me my greatest successes of my career. I would like to thank the following people also. First I would like to thank Diamond Dallas Kanyon for being a mentor to me when I first got to XHF. I would like to thank Joe Everyman for being Donald Trump to my Hillary Clinton. I did a lot of crazy shady shit while in nCw but you always found a way to do something even dumber to take the heat off of me. Last of all I would like to thank Pagnus for being the greatest panda to ever live and being a great mascot for XHF. Actually I do have one more person I woud like to thank and that is Leonard Fox for coming to his freaking senses and declaring my thirty second title reign as valid meaning I was an official nCw Heavyweight Champion and thus making me a world champion before Joe Everyman allowing me to be better than Everyman one final time. This conference is over.
Markus stands up with the nCw World title around his waist and he walks off the stage as the scene fades to black
Well boys and girls this could be the final match of my career and I'm okay with it. This time I get to go out on my terms instead of being cast off into free agency after my last fed closed. Who do I have the honor of facing you may ask? Well I get to face the giant skin head Casey Williams and some dude named Dimitri.
I'll start with Dimitri the Russian Vampire, I don't get how you work. How do you have enough time to wrestling, drink vodka and suck dick with there only being twenty four hours in a day. Wait I didn't mean dick I meant blood. I have to remember that not all vampires are sparkly, cock suckers like in Twilight. I'm not worried about being bit by you because even though you are a stupid fucking Russian you aren't stupid enough to bite a legend. No, I'm more worried that you might have gotten yourself involved with the Russian Olympic team and got yourself shot up with some performance enchancing drugs. See I'm worried that I'm going to get fucked out of my last match by some gassed up Russian piece of shit.
Now Dimitri, I said during my press conference that you suck and I mean that truly, I don't give a shit if you say that you are going to bring some sort of violence against me because I created violence. I've practically been wrestling since Jesus was around. I created violence, I formed violence and I perfected violence. Bring your version of violence because it's not going to be better than mine. I'm going to knock your fangs down your throat and make you drink your own blood. I'm going to make you wish you were never born or ever left that shit hole Russia. You are going to be the biggest disappointment to go into Russia since the Nazi army tried to invade Russia in the winter and I'm sure after I embarrass your stupid ass on Sunday, Putin will probably put out hit on you and we will never have to see you again.
Now onto my other opponent Casey Williams, who is the only man in this company that can compare to me physically. The only difference is that he is absolute trash, I mean this guy is worse than Dimitri and he thinks his bible verses are going to save him. Casey you look like the after affects of what happens when you go on some super serious steroid regiment but you only inject into your dick. You look seriously look like a roided out penis. If I was you I would grow some hair out or something otherwise everyone is going to make fun of you. Sorry Casey, your bible verses are going to be nothing but empty words when I get done with you, I'm going to go out and show that your biblical light can't compete with me and Satan behind me. However your bible verses however did remind me of my favorite bible verse, the one I used to quote when I was going to go out and shed some blood in the middle of the ring, you know go and do some cold blooded monster shit. That quote is Ezekiel 25:17
Markus clears his throat
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
I plan on going out and commiting an act of ultra violence, if everything goes the way I think it will it will end up with me winning this match and then going to jail for murdering to never was fucks named Dimitri and Casey Williams. If this is my last match, I'm going to put everything I have into it and if that means losing a limb or bleeding a little bit than so be it.
Now some people have asked me if this is truly it, if I lose is this the last match I ever wrestle. I'll say yes but I'll also so to never say never, I may retire but if the right opportunity arises, you might see me again some day and somewhere. I'll finish this up by doing something my mentor Diamond Dallas Kanyon would do.
Markus runs at the camera guy and spears him, the camera guy drops the camera which is now facing up towards the ceiling. Markus stands over the camera and makes a diamond with his hands
Markus Reeves: BANG!
