"He's here! He's here!"
The telltale signal of childlike giddiness rang across the Las Vegas residence as the front door opened and into the foyer of the estate walked Gabriel and his wife Odette, and their one year old son, Lucas. Synn and his current house guest, fellow Sins stable mate, Chris Shipman, had walked out from the living room to greet the arrivals but were almost bowled over by the racing Despayre, who ran as fast as his feet could carry him to get downstairs from the house's second floor! He jumped the last two steps, and landing on the floor before blowing past his dad and the man whom he referred to as "Stepmom" to be the first to greet Gabriel, Odette, and Despayre's nephew, the baby Lucas.
"Easy, Joshua." Synn spoke, bringing the young man to a brief halt but he remained fidgeting openly in his utter delight in playing host to Lucas for a WHOLE evening! An overnight stay, Lucas's very first, so as his uncle, that made his solemn and sworn duty to show the baby boy the bestest time he could possibly have.
"Now Despy," Gabriel started to say as Odette carefully passed their son over into 'Uncle Despy's' waiting arms. "Remember our deal: No catapults."
"Yeah, yeah."
Gabriel stressed, "You promised."
"I know!" Despayre huffed. "It was just one time and you should be very proud of Lucas." He added with a haughty air of righteousness. "Lucas was a natural."
"Missus O'Heaney didn't seem to agree." Synn pointed out. "Her lawn gnome suffered the brunt of your attack."
"Well..." Despayre fought for a reasonable conclusion to this debate. "He started it." And that was that.
"Fine," Synn added, stepping forward and taking the baby from the arms of Despayre, causing the young man's face to contort into a disappointed frown. "Remember our deal."
"Your deal?" Odette inquired, to which Synn responded while holding Lucas, "Joshua gets to spend all the time he wants teaching Lucas here about blanket forts, so long as he cleans his room like Theresa asked."
"Awww!" Despayre fussed, kicking an imaginary pebble. "I can clean my room any time. I only get to baby sit Lucas there once in a blue moon!"
"Then I would suggest you get started." Synn said.
Shipman then got involved in the conversation, "Yeah, or else the furniture your dad and I moved to make that blanket fort is getting moved right back."
Gabriel and Odette, hearing this, shared a look with one another before taking a quick glance into the spacious living room of the house. There they could see that the chairs and sofa had all been moved around and spaced out, with several blankets piled on the sofa's cushions, just ready for Uncle Despy to share his knowledge of forts with their son.
"Oh yeah!?" Despayre challenged hotly, putting his fists on his hips. "Says who??"
Shipman leaned in and gave him 'that' look before he answered, "Your wicked stepmother, THAT'S who!"
Despayre turned back around almost immediately with a wide eyed expression on his face as he held a forefinger up and said to Gabriel, "You know, I just had the bestest idea. I'm gonna go clean my room!" That being said, Despayre turned and raced for the upstairs, leaving all eyes turned to Shipman.
Admirably, Gabriel said to the 'original Psycho,' "Now if only you would use your powers for good instead of evil."
Once upon a time, there was a grand gala event to be held in the Kingdom of Sin! An event in which all the masses of the kingdom, men, women and children alike were invited, one and all. An event unlike any other in the kingdom's history, save for the same ones that get held each and every week.
But you get the idea! We gotta set the mood!
Green fields and villages were laid about as far as the eye could see, with rolling hills and birdies fluttering in the bright blue skies. One such citizen worked in the gardens of her large estate, won in recent honorable combat against a red haired beauty of a princess. This citizen was now recognized by one and all as the empress of the land, with her colorful hair and haughty attitude towards those around her. She hummed quietly to herself as she admired the lush colors of her gardens when she glanced up to gaze at the blue sky and clouds over head when...
*caw!*
*poot*
She screeched in dismay and wiped from her eyeball before taking off from her gardens and racing back inside of the palace that would be called her own until it was taken from her.
The Kingdom was a prosperous one, where each week the peasants, er, the loyal subjects of the land, would shell out taxes in the form of 'offerings' to be able to attend these events to be held in their honor. The Kingdom was one of peace, save that there were countless battles in its entirety, across the lands, where men and women sought dominion over another, and to the victors would go the spoils. Notoriety and riches would be rewarded to those that rose above the challenges laid out before them, but to the losers...?
A masked, burly man with an axe wrapped in barbed wire sauntered across the wooden platform, staring down at the one laid sprawled out before him. A grim task to be performed, indeed, as he spit into both hands and rubbed them together, before lifting his axe high into the air above...
The people watching gasped...!
... As the axe sliced right through the giant salami! Hm, what? Noooo! They don't lose their heads! We were just taking a brief intermission for lunch! Anyhoo...
The losers of said encounters? They get nothing but ridicule! So the stakes are even higher as the date approaches for this most epic of events, as we move towards a humble little cottage, right smack dab in the middle of the forest with little birdies chirping and cute forest animals wandering the trails, peeking inside of the windows to spot little Cinderfella.
Yes, little Cinderfella. Oh such high hopes this young man had to make a grand name for himself in the gladiator-like battles before his fellow villagers and family, to put down the hulking behemoths who towered over him in both height and weight. The invitations had gone out over a week ago for all to attend, and Cinderfella had placed his name down on the list, but for now he had other concerns.
"But WHY do I gotta clean my room!?" Cinderfella whined audibly as he stood knee-deep in the mess that was his room and his alone. Papers and toys and candy all around, but to him, it was as clean as could be. Cleanliness was in the eye of the beholder, that was his motto! Unfortunately for Cinderfella, his Wicked Psycho Stepmother did not quite agree.
"I'll tell you why!" Wicked Psycho Stepmother said from the door frame to his room. "We haven't seen the cat in days and the mess in here is attracting wild life!"
"Oh you are SO exaggerating!" Cinderfella rolled his eyes. Wicked Psycho Stepmother cleared his throat and pointed behind Cinderfella who turned around and found an animated fawn and several animated squirrels and bunny rabbits nibbling at bits and pieces of the mess in his room. Cinderfella blinked and turned back to face Wicked Psycho Stepmother.
"That has nothing to do with the so-called mess!" He declared hotly. "There was just mass layoffs over at Disney Studios and I offered to put them up for a few nights until they found work."
Wicked Psycho Stepmother frowned and shook his head, "Clean the room, or you're not going to attend the Grand Event with your Wicked Raging Stepbrother and myself."
"That's not fair!" Cinderfella stomped his foot. "I wanna second opinion! Where's dad!?"
Wicked Psycho Stepmother cleared his throat and quickly said, "He's all tied up at the moment." Before shutting the door...
And in the master bedroom, there indeed was Cinderfella's father tied spread eagled to the bed with his limbs fastened tightly to the four bed posts...
"Well that's just swell!" Cinderfella sighed, letting his arms fall to his sides so that his hands slapped against his grubby thighs. Dressed in rags, he looked about the room and the bounty of a mess and shook his head before he called out to the animals, "Hey do you suppose you guys could give me a hand and help clean?" And before he knew it, the fawn, birdies and squirrels all scattered for the open window and climbed outside to take off back into the embrace of Mother Nature.
Cinderfella leaned halfway out of the window and watched them go, "Well thanks a lot!" He shouted. "It's no wonder ol' Walt laid you off! You're a disgrace to fairy tales everywhere!" He stepped back inside of his cluttered disaster of a bedroom and shook his head, "Now what am I gonna do?"
And just as he asked this, a soft and gentle wind blew through the window, carrying with it the scent of the forest; trees and grass and flowers and ... Cinderfella scrunched up his nose.
"Boy! Who needs the odor eaters!?"
What indeed, you ask? You see, this is where fairytales such as these take a turn for the better! Just when things look bleak for the star of the promo, er, story, along comes a saving grace. A sparkle of turquoise and coral colored light comes drifting into the window. Leaving a luminescent trail behind it, the ball of light centered itself down into the center of the room and ignited into a swirl of colorful, dancing lights until it formed into a lovely blonde figure with fairy wings.
"Hello Cinderfella, I am your..."
"Oh BOY! For my first wish...!"
"HEY! DO I LOOK LIKE A GENIE TO YOU!?" Indeed this fairy goodmother (Careful! Where she's from, 'mother' is half a word!) appeared to be anything BUT a genie! For one, genies aren't this pretty! Plus they don't have long, silken blonde hair or wear a two piece outfit consisting of a black booty short bottoms with black fishnet tights underneath, a purple halter top that ties around her neck and showing an ample amount of cleavage. Flipping her silken tresses back over her shoulder, she said, "I just so happen to be your Fairy Goodmother!"
Cinderfella just stared at her, looking her up and down and she rolled her eyes, "Hey! It's a living! Don't judge me and I won't judge you for wearing ... that." She cringed.
"Okay, well..." Cinderfella shrugged. "How's come you're here?"
"Uh, hello? Duh!" The Fairy GoodMother held her arms out. "You want to go to the Kingdom of Sin's big event this weekend, right?"
"Well, yeah?"
"Well THAT'S why I'm here!" She said matter-of-factly, leaning on one hip. "Now your Wicked Psycho Stepmother said you can't go unless you clean your room, right?" Cinderfella nodded and the Fairy GoodMother scoffed. "Bitch." She then turned around and waved her fairy wand at the mess that was Cinderfella's room and in a magical whirlwind, the entire mess was swept up into a cyclone and carried through the window and out into the forest, leaving Cinderfella shocked, his eyes as wide as his open mouth.
"You can't do that!" He declared hotly. "That's littering the forest!"
"You say potato, I say vodka." The Fairy GoodMother stated absently. She turned around in a circle, admiring her handiwork. Sighing with a sense of self satisfaction, she added, "But now you can go to the grand event!"
"No I can't."
"Exactly! No you... excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow. "Are you being difficult with me?"
"No. No! Nooooo!" Cinderfella shook his head vigorously. "No, it's just that I was hoping to face the Demon Monster at the big to do, and I just can't. Not like this."
The Fairy GoodMother sighed and asked, "Not like ... OH HELL NO!" She exclaimed, having finally gotten a good look at what Cinderfella was wearing; namely a tattered T shirt and holey jeans. (Holey ... get it? No? Hunh! Tough room!) frowning at the challenge before her, the Fairy GoodMother bit down on the star end of her wand in deep concentration before she closed her eyes and nodded with confidence.
"Not to worry!" She stated, waving off his concern. "I know just what to do." And with a twirl of her wand, she jetted the star end towards Cinderfella with an audible "BAZINGA!", magically transforming his old clothes into...
"Oops!" She exclaimed, covering her mouth with her free hand.
"Huh?" Cinderfella blinked. "Whaddya mean 'oops'?" He looked down at himself and started at the sight of his body clad in a glamorous and shimmering blue evening gown. His head shot up in horror, "I can't wear this to compete against the Demon Monster! He'll think he's fighting a girl!"
"Bright side?" The Fairy GoodMother shrugged with a sheepish aka guilty smile. "He won't dare hit a girl."
Cinderfella started to tense up, his body going rigid and his face developing pink blotches of embarrassed frustration.
"Alright! Alright!" The Fairy GoodMother exclaimed. "SOMEONE is being picky! I just had this dress on my mind ever since I saw it in the store window! Now let's try this again..." And with another flourish of her wand, she transfigured Cinderfella's 'gown' into something far more appropriate -- a black shirt with a teddy bear's face on the front, fishnet gloves, and loose, black slacks with matching leather boots. He glanced down and a smile brightened his young face at the change in his clothes.
"Much better!" He declared, but the Fairy GoodMother remained somewhat unconvinced.
"Oh I don't know. Not very fashionable compared to the other outfit. But it is your event, so we'll go with what works! Now..." She clapped her hands with enthusiasm and Cinderfella beamed with joy as things were finally starting to look up for what was surely to be an event that would help place him on the map.
The Fairy GoodMother continued, "... I understand that this opponent of yours, the Demon Monster... seriously, could he not have come up with a better nickname?"
Cinderfella shrugged.
The Fairy GoodMother went on with her critique, "I mean, demon? Monster? Kinda cancels the other out, doesn't it?" She shook her head and sighed. "Anyway... I understand he has some gripe with your Wicked Psycho Stepmother, am I right?" Before Cinderfella could respond, the Fairy GoodMother interrupted, "Of course I'm right! I'm always right! Anyway, if this is true, then you have to arrive to the event with style! You'll need a ride!"
the two of them looked around the now freshly cleaned room and the Fairy GoodMother spotted, "Ahhh! Perfect!" And she picked up the cream colored teddy bear from it's place of honor at the bed stand, right beside the pillows. She set the teddy bear down on the floor by their feet and prepared to brandish her fairy wand once again, but Cinderfella held up a finger...
"Er, point of order?" He declared. "But as a teddy bear, he might object to this."
"Oh pth!" The Fairy GoodMother raspberried. "They do things like this all the time!"
"Is that so?" Cinderfella blinked. "Well you think you know a person..." And he then watched as the Fairy GoodMother gave her wand a twirl over the teddy bear and in a glow of light, watched it transform into... A REAL FREAKING BEAR! Both of their heads tilted back and up as the bear stood upright and let out a bellowing roar before it tore through the bedroom door and into the confines of the cottage!
Cinderfella and his Fairy GoodMother leaned over to glance cautiously out of the door as there were crashes, roars and blood curdling screams from further in the home. They winced and stood back upright to where Cinderfella turned to address his Fairy GoodMother.
"I don't really hafta be back by midnight, do I?"
She shook her head in the negative and mouthed a silent "No."
Synn, Shipman and Theresa stood quietly in the frame of the living room, watching the adorable sight before them: the blanket fort had been completed to perfection, as 'Uncle Joshua' had given Lucas a hands on training seminar on the fine art of making the perfect fort out of nothing more than sofas, chairs, blankets, and the odd pillow and cushions thrown in for good measure. Lucas was safely and snugly propped up against the mountain of pillows, watching with wide, bright eyes as his honorary Uncle sat before him with Angel in his lap and a big bowl of popcorn between them. Despayre continued telling Lucas his made up fairy tale about Cinderfella and some nutty Fairy GoodMother, when Synn tapped Shipman on the shoulder.
"Feel like a drink?"
"Shh!" Shipman waved his question off. "I want to hear the end of this!"
Synn and Theresa just turned their heads to stare at Shipman as the Original Psycho continued to listen to Despayre's fairy tale.
"And where one story ends, another opens! Yes, the fairytale of Cinderfella and the evil Demon Monster may have drawn to a conclusion, but the tale of Despayre doing battle with James Tuscini is now set to begin!"
"James Tuscini, the current and reigning Roulette Champion! You know, I have come to admire what you've accomplished so far here in SCW in such a relatively short period of time. Still, you should have done your homework a little better my good man, because as much as you've accomplished, my buddy Despayre has been here a LOT longer than you have, and he's accomplished so much more. Three-time World Tag Team Champion! Internet Champion! King of the Mountain! Blast From the Past IV Champion! Pretty impressive, wouldn't you say?"
"And you? Well you beat Steve Ramone. You and everybody else on the Superstar roster. Despayre faced him in the King of the Mountain match -- and won! Despayre also defended his King status against Steve-O, and again, it was Despayre who walked away the winner. So as impressive as your reign as Roulette Champ has been so far James, the things Despayre has done have you shadowed just a bit. Okay, a lot. I was trying to be modest for Despy's sake, but let's go for confidence instead."
"This is the first time that Despayre has been in a match since his big World title match against J2H. Sure he got a bad konk on the noggin, but if he wasn't rested and healed, then the doctors never would have released him for competition! So much the worse for you, amIright? I was going to point out that it's a good thing your championship isn't on the line, because losing it this close to Summer XXXTreme IV would be, well it'd be just plain sad. And make no mistake about it, you would have lost it. You're going to lose this match, no matter how much you puffed yourself up for it with past wins. I was also going to point out it's a good thing this match isn't even roulette rules. I mean, a division where anything is possible and an opponent who is capable of anything -- well that would have just spelled out bad news for you. Then again, even in a regular match Despayre is capable of anything so you're really no better off, now are you?"
"Of course you think that you're going to walk out of Lake Tahoe the winner, and go on to the Fourth of July to celebrate with fireworks and picnics, but trust me when I say that you're not going to be in any shape or mood to celebrate much of anything. You'll be too banged up and embarrassed, and you'll have had nobody to blame but yourself. You think that you're going to hurt Despayre and beat him, probably to teach Shipman a lesson for getting himself involved with you and your title. WRONG! A lot of other people have thought they'd go through Despayre to get to others, and it never quite worked out the way they had planned. Why don't you go ask Goth what it was like to try and use Gabriel and myself to get to Despayre? Goth, the first-ever Triple Crown winner in SCW history, and not only did Despayre spill buckets of his blood in revenge, but he defeated him, right in the center of the ring too! Or former World Champion, Sean Jackson! Sure, Jackson walked away from their cage match as the new Internet Champion, but Despayre has turned him into a pile of ground beef in the process!"
"See what I'm saying James? All the confidence in the world doesn't mean a hill of beans when you're up against someone who is just plain better than you are, and even though you're wearing a title belt and at the moment, Despayre is not, Despayre is exactly that: better than you!"
"Don't worry about what's to come. It's the same thing that happens every time someone messes with a member of the Seven Deadly Sins."
