Ryan Keys stood backstage inside the Hiroshima Green arena, dressed in what could be seen as a censoring lawsuit waiting to happen, but he calls his tear away bright red trunks and knee high black leather boots his ring gear. Topping it all of with one of those man buns people seem to like for some reason. The bosses didn't seem to mind his look,so the exhibitionist carried on turning heads where ever he went.
He was currently looking at an arena map at one of the many hallways the huge establishment had. Clearly lost out of his mind. If it wasn't bad enough that he was lost before even driving to the place. And with no Sam Marlowe to bump into him and showing the way, a map was the next best thing. That is... if he could read the damn thing. Even with the obvious cameraman filming him there to help, Ryan was adamant to find the ring on his own.
Keys: Okay... so the south hall is to the North, the North hall is to the West, and the East hall is... also to the North. Where the hell am I?
Cameraman: Ryan, I know where the ---
Keys: Nanananana... I can do this. Because I- am an adventurer. I don't know what I'm doing, but trust me... I know what I'm doing.
He doesn't know what he's doing. Ryan scanned the map once more, then looked at both directions besides him, one of them obviously leading to the ring of the arena with big, white letters spelling it out... yet he stood there unsure on where to go.
Keys: Ah- to heck with it. People will find me eventually and show me where to go.
Ryan turned away from the map and walked away, heading towards the opposite direction of the obvious ring entrance with a face palming cameraman following suit.
Keys: You know maybe it's fate that I don't find the ring this week. I found it last week, but it was only because I heard Matt Spears's "Hit me Baby On More Time" ringtone while going to the ring. I don't have that now. And probably won't for a while 'cuz I really did a number on him last week. Now my only hope at finding the damn ring is if my opponent for this week,Alex Rush, walked over to it earlier. That way I could just follow the row of people on the floor that are dying from laughter. You know what I mean, cameraman?
Cameraman: No, I don't think anybody in the planet knows what you mean.
Ryan looked at him with a comical glare before he responded.
Keys: Not with that attitude they won't... Okay, maybe I'll talk my way into finding the ring, it's worked before out of dumb luck so hear's hoping.
He cleared his throat.
Keys: This week if you already didn't know, I'm opening the "Riot in The Rising Sun" SCW J-pan tour again, and i am very much excited to be going up against the one and only, Alex Rush. The guy has me in stitches every single time he opens his mouths, and I'm sure that I'm going to be laughing through the whole match with him. It's gonna be great. The people will love it, I will love it, he's clearly loving someone at this point of the day... Or night? I can never tell with this place.
Ryan kept walking on the endless promo convenient hallway.
Keys:Despite me flying around in and out of J-pan, I have been training myself by watching "Try Not to Laugh" videos in hopes that I can go more than 2 minutes with out laughing at whatever Alex say... so far it hasn't worked. I blame his accent, if it doesn't make you wanna drop your pants it will at least make you laugh. But since I don't wear pants to begin with all I have to put up with is a giggle or 5.
Probably not the best strategy to flat out say that he won't as focused in the ring as he has been in the past, but he has to give Alex credit. The guy can win over anybody with his antics, including the crowd. That, Ryan had to respect.
Ryan somehow managed to walk into a dead end, so he turned and faced the camera.
Keys: Uh...Alex. Listen, listen... listen, my muscles and stuff are fully ready to take you on this week. I've trained in the J-panese arts of barbed wire, flaming tables and the occasional tight shorts before. Thought I don't remember much of it, I can still give you the fight you deserve. So I won't let you or the crowd down on that.
Listen, I'm not going to talk trash at you because I'm a huge fan, and you give the little people what they want, so I have nothing but respect for what you do. So I am going to give it my all in our match. And no... I'm not going to go hard on you just because I got paid on the side to take things seriously. I'm going to go hard on you because I got paid on the side to take our match seriously. Hope that make sense, because...
Ryan smiled at the camera before leaning in.
Keys: I'm just that bad at being good.
