I don’t know why the hell I even bothered showing up in Jamaica on Sunday. I mean, I wasn’t scheduled and there wasn’t shit for me to do, so what was the real point of being there, right? Sure, I ended up confronting Celeste and asking here why the fuck she did what she did the week before, but that was about the highlight of my night. Regardless of what people might think of me, I don’t exactly LIKE wins being given to me, especially in a tournament with as much as stake as the Going For the Gold tournament.
When I confronted Celeste, I fully expected a lot more of an argument than there really was. That’s just what happens when the two of us are around each other. It’s a love/hate relationship there and we both know how to push each other’s buttons. And she was pushing every…single…button. If it weren’t for Tim, I think I’d have knocked the bitch out by now, but I’m holding back for whatever reason.
Her explanation for what she did the week before was honestly complete bullshit, and in the end, I had it all figured out. She can put on this tough bitch routine all she wants, and express how much she’s dying to beat the shit out of Mikah, but it was so easy to figure out her REAL reason, and it’s fuckin’ hilarious. Celeste is just like every other bitch on this roster, but she’s trying to deny it.
The rest of the bombshells can deny it all they want, but when push comes to shove, they’re all afraid to face her. Every single one of them knows that Mikah will whoop their ass, because for the most part, she’s already beaten every single one of them! I don’t know why any of them thinks that by them winning the tournament and therefore getting to face Mikah at December to Dismember, really thinks they stand a chance, because they don’t. Especially when it comes to Celeste. There’s really only one person on this roster that is tough enough to beat Mikah, and I think you all know who I’m referring to.
Me.
On Sunday, I had every intention of walking out to the ring and addressing everyone who hates me…again. And that was pretty much everyone in the audience and in the backstage. I had planned on speaking my mind and talking about this tournament, but when it came down to it, I said fuck it and decided not to. Why? Because it all falls on deaf ears anyway. Not a single damn person will listen or give a shit and it’s pretty annoying to keep repeating myself. It’s annoying proving that I deserve everything I’ve accomplished over and over and it meaning absolutely shit.
But you want to know what is even more annoying? The fact that the biggest fuckin’ loser on the Bombshell roster is being given ANOTHER shot at the Internet Title when she’s proven over and over and over again that she just can’t hack it as a champion. Seriously, as soon as I heard that my first title defense is going to be against Amy Marshall all I could do was just shake my head. I wanted to laugh. I really did, but that shit really got me thinking about a lot of shit.
Fuckin’ seriously…Amy Marshall…AGAIN?!?!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wednesday November 11th
On The Flight to Havana
~*~OFF CAMERA~*~
I really wanted to wait another day, maybe even two, before heading to Havana for the next Climax Control. I know I have my all important first title defense coming up, but I honestly couldn’t give two shits about this match, and it’s because I’m facing a disgusting trashy former porn star again. That bit of information alone has had me in a foul mood for the past couple of days and about an hour into the flight from Jamaica to Cuba, Tim finally tries to get me to talk about it.
He’s seated next to me in the aisle seat of our row, while I’m staring out the window with my Bombshell Internet Championship in my lap. The rest of the Nobodies are on the flight with us.. Celeste is in the same row, only in the middle of the plane. She’s seated between two weird looking guys, and I know she’s just seething about it. Connor and Tessa are seated directly behind us, involved in their own conversation.
Tim: Why have you been so damn quiet today? What the hell is bothering you now?
I snap out of my temporary trance as I’m staring out the window as the plane flies through the clouds and over the sea below. I turn and look towards him, slightly confused, but I see Celeste lean forward and look at us with a smirk on her face.
Celeste: Isn’t it obvious, Timmy? She’s still sore over my helping her win last week. Geez, Lexi, get…over…it, already.
I see her roll her eyes as I glare at her in the process. Tim, however, just turns towards Celeste, giving her a look that says now is not the time.
Lex: You couldn’t be more wrong, C. I already told you, I understand why you gave me the win. It’s really not a big deal anymore.
I offer her a sarcastic smile as I laugh. She shakes her head and leans back in her seat, looking very uncomfortable. I laugh again as I look back out the window, but Tim doesn’t drop the issue.
Tim: Come on, Lex. Don’t do this crap again. What’s going on?
I let out a sigh as I look down to the title still placed in my lap.
Lex: I’m sitting here staring at this title…my title…and I still feel like shit, Tim. It didn’t change a damn thing.
Tim: What do you mean?
I stare down at the title then run my hand along my name engraved on the nameplate.
Lex: People still don’t take me seriously. They’re trying to convince me that they are, but I know for a damn fact they don’t. Talking a bunch of bullshit about how having a title makes me less of Nobody, but they’re full of shit.
I hear Celeste let out a chuckle in her seat and I shake my head.
Lex: Oh and let’s not forget what our former junkie bitch friend over there thinks.
Tim lets out a sigh of his own, shaking his head as he chooses to ignore Celeste for now.
Tim: You should know not to take anything that Celeste says so personally. She only does it to piss you off, and clearly it’s working.
Lex: I’m not taking it personally, Tim. Not coming from her anyway. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to have you, Connor or the others think the same thing. I’m not trying to distance myself from the Nobodies.
Tim: I know you’re not.
After staring at my title for a while, I grow tired of looking at it and just put it on the floor at my feet. For it being a title and being worth something, that damn thing is ugly as hell.
Lex: I thought going after this thing and actually winning it would, I dunno, make me feel better, regardless of what everyone else thought of me.
I finally turn and look at Tim, frustration written all over my face.
Lex: I guess I was wrong. And now…
Tim: Now what? It doesn’t matter what title you won, Lex. It still proves you can win a damn title when no one thought you could..or would. If you want my honest opinion, and I’m sure you don’t…I think you went after the wrong title in the first place.
I laugh, knowing exactly what he’s referring to. At least now, I’m actually going after the World Bombshell Championship. Well…thanks to Celeste I am.
Lex: Well, you have your wish…for now. Thanks to Celeste, I’m at least advancing to the second round.
Tim: You say that like you’re not going to be in it for long? You’re not thinking about dropping out of the tournament, are you?
All I can do to respond is simply shrug my shoulders. The truth is, I’m still debating this whole tournament, and I was really expecting Celeste to beat me, but the bitch had to change things up.
Tim: Don’t you dare thing about pulling that shit, Lex! It doesn’t matter who you’re put against in the rest of this tournament. You can beat them all. And you will.
Lex: It doesn’t even matter right now, Tim. There is still one more match left in the opening round, and I don’t even know who I’m going to be facing. Not to mention, I have to defend my Internet title first.
Before Tim responds, are attention is drawn away as we hear Tessa laughing loudly behind us and Connor’s hushed voice following. I roll my eyes and I take my attention away from Tim for a moment as I stand up from my seat and turn around to face Connor and Tessa. Tessa immediately goes quiet, as does Connor, and I can only assume what they were talking about.
Lex: Hey Con, do me a favor, okay? If you’re going to join the mile high club today, make sure to gag that bitch so no one else hears it, okay?
Tim lets out a loud laugh, and I hear Celeste chuckle too. Tessa giggles but she doesn’t respond as Connor simply gives me a wink.
Connor: I’ve already joined the club, love.
I can feel the bile rising in my throat, having heard more information than I needed to hear.
Lex: Thanks for the information, Con. But, my warning still stands.
Tessa nudges Connor and whispers something into his ear. He nods with a laugh before Tessa turns her attention to me.
Tessa: Might I suggest ye and Tim join that club, Lexi? It really is a lot ‘o fun and it might make ye less of a frigid bitch.
Celeste is now laughing loudly, but I’m unimpressed. I see the flight attendants keeping a close watch on our group as we have that “trouble maker†appearance of course.
Lex: Careful, Tessa. You haven’t had a proper Nobody initiation and I’d have no problem getting it started on this flight.
Tessa just shakes her head, but before the issue can escalate further, Tim stands up and interrupts.
Tim: Alright guys, knock it off. Normally I’d have no problem with you guys kicking each other’s asses from time to time, but I really don’t feel like getting arrested once this flight lands.
I say nothing more to Tessa as I plop back down in my seat and fold my arms. I look down at the Internet Championship at my feet, its energy still taunting me. I reach down and pick it up, returning it to its original place in my lap.
Lex: I really don’t understand why they’re giving Amy another shot at this, or honestly any title, Tim. What the fuck do they see in her?!
Tim sits back down in his seat and shrugs.
Tim: Your guess is as good as mine, but you’ve already pinned her once. You’ll do it again.
I shake my head, and judging by the look on Tim’s face, that only confuses him.
Lex: Maybe I won’t…
Tim: I’m sorry, what? You’re joking, right? We both know that Amy can’t beat you, Lex!
I nod in agreement, and this only confuses him more.
Lex: Oh, I know that. Bitch is fuckin’ worthless, but—
Tim: But what?
I’m fairly sure what I’m about to say is going to piss Tim off, but I really don’t care.
Lex: Maybe I should just let the bitch win? Maybe I should just give her back the title, because everyone seems to think she fucking deserves it or something.
Tim starts shaking his head furiously and he yanks the title from my lap, holding it up just a bit. I turn and look at him, and then the title.
Tim: Fuck…that! If you think for one second that I’m going to let you throw this away because you’re going through one of you depressed bullshit moods, you’re wrong.
Lex: You couldn’t stop me even if you wanted to, Tim. It’s my choice…
He narrows his eyes at me, growing more frustrated. I try to take the title back, but he yanks it away, refusing to give it back.
Tim: Why the fuck would you do that, Lex? What would that accomplish?
Lex: I don’t know! I just figured maybe if I’m going to continue being a Nobody that I should finally act the fuckin’ part. Being a champion doesn’t exactly fit the bill anymore, does it? And like I said, for some reason people think Amy Marshall is so worthy of being a champion, maybe I should just give them what they all want.
Tim: That’s a bunch of bullshit and you know it. Stop talking that shit or else I’ll have Celeste knock some sense into you when we get to Havana.
I see Celeste lean forward in her seat again with a big grin on her face.
Celeste: Just name the time and place, Timbo...
Tim: Celeste, please stay out of this right now.
She shakes her head, again leaning back in her seat, but if I know Celeste like I think I do, I know she’s listening intently, enjoying my misery. Tim turns back to face me.
Tim: Look, Lex, I don’t know where all this is coming from or why, but you need to get over it and fast, because I will not let you just throw it all away. You’re the first one of us to bring a title to the Nobodies and regardless of what the others think, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. But if you decide to just let Amy Marshall win, or even drop out of the tournament, it’ll mean all your hard work will have been for nothing.
I let out a sigh and go quiet for a while. I know he has a point, but everything I’m literally all over the place right now. Then again, when am I not all over the place? My life fuckin’ sucks.
Lex: Everything is just so fucked up, Tim. It has been for a long time, and I don’t know when it’ll stop being so fucked up. I thought winning the Internet Championship would be enough, but it wasn’t. I want…more. Everything I thought was enough before…just isn’t.
Before Tim can respond, Celeste has finally had enough. She stands up in her seat and glares towards me.
Celeste: For fuck’s sake, Lexi, stop being such a damn baby! Babies are annoying as hell and that is exactly what you are at the moment so please, please, PLEASE do us all a favor and shut your mouth. Damn!
Tim stops me from quickly standing up in my seat and heading over to Celeste. By this time, most of the people on the plane are now staring at us nervously. The flight attendants rush over as Celeste and I continue to glare at one another.
Flight Attendant: Excuse me, ladies, but I’m going to have to ask you two to please calm down. The other passengers are growing very uncomfortable and if this doesn’t stop, we’ll be forced to notify the authorities and restrain the both of you until the flight lands.
Tim stands up directly in front of the flight attendant. He looks at Celeste, giving her a warning glance and I turn my attention away, still fuming.
Tim: That won’t be necessary. Both of my friends here are going to be good little girls the rest of the flight because none of us have money to bail them out of jail right now. Isn’t that right, Lex? Celeste?
I go back to staring out the window, choosing no to answer that question. Celeste plops back down in her seat and folds her arms.
Celeste: Easy for you to say, Timbo. You’re not sandwiched in between Pepe Le Pew and Afroman, are you?
The two men were clearly offended by Celeste’s insult, but she doesn’t care. I quietly chuckle at the insult as the flight attendants walk away, still keeping a close eye on us. Several minutes goes by and I know things have calmed down when Tessa is once again giggling behind me over her conversation with Connor, and I can feel Tim’s worried eyes just staring at me. The rest of the flight won’t go by quick enough, but I do my best to disappear into my own little world again, and I’ll deal with my title defense and the Going For The Gold tournament when I have to.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Friday November 13th
Havana, Cuba
Local Café-Lunchtime
~*~OFF CAMERA~*~
Two days have gone by since the rest of the Nobodies and I arrived in Havana, Cuba, and not a whole lot has happened since then. During the few times that Connor and Tessa aren’t off doing whatever dirty deeds they want, Celeste has been hanging out with them. I, on the other hand, have been keeping my distance from Celeste for a bit. While I’ve pretty much gotten over everything that happened on the flight, I’m still trying to bring my mind back where it needs to be.
Tim has been trying to help me get my mind off of everything and focused on my upcoming title defense against Amy, but for the most part, it’s not really working. I know I’ll snap out of it in the end. We’re currently grabbing a bite to eat before heading off to the gym for a training session with the others. I’m picking at my food, hardly interested in eating whatever the hell it is that I ordered, and I barely hear Tim talking to me.
Tim: Earth to Lex!
He snaps his fingers in front of my eyes, finally grabbing my attention.
Lex: Huh? Sorry, I spaced out there.
Tim: Yeah, you do that a lot lately. Look, Lex, you need to relax a little. I know you’re still considering letting Amy win, and you’re still not sure about the tournament and all, but seriously…just stop. This isn’t you. This isn’t the Lex that I know.
Lex: Who is the Lex that you know, Tim? Because I’m not so sure anymore. Shit used to be so clear to me before and now it’s not. It doesn’t make sense.
He takes a quick drink of his soda, taking a break from his meal to get back into the conversation again.
Tim: This is about more than just the Internet Championship and the tournament, isn’t it? What else is going on?
As I am about to try and answer that question, my phone starts ringing. I’m a little confused, because I don’t know who would be calling me. When I take my phone out of my pocket and look at the screen, the number calling is an unfamiliar one so I just hit the ignore button. Tim looks a little confused as I put my phone back in my pocket.
Tim: Who was that?
I shake my head.
Lex: Hell if I know. Don’t recognize the number, so unless they leave a message, it’s not important. Probably a wrong number.
Tim: Probably. But anyway, answer my question. What else is going on?
I continue picking at my food and am disgusted because of how unappetizing it is, but I consider the answer to that question in my head.
Lex: I don’t even know, Tim. Like I said, everything used to be so clear, but a lot has happened recently that changed everything…I think. Things that used to be enough to make me content or whatever…they’re not anymore. Things that I thought would make me feel better, don’t.
Tim: Okay, you’ll need to be a little more specific with some of that. I know about the Internet title thing, but what else? And before you answer, I might already know part of it.
I look up at him, suddenly a little worried. Tim knows about my cutting problem, and while that is one aspect of what is bothering me right now, the other part, he doesn’t know about. At least, I don’t think he does.
Lex: You do?
He nods.
Tim: I think it’s pretty damn obvious, and it has been lately.
Oh great. This is about to get fifty shades of awkward.
Tim: You’re still cutting, and I think you’re probably doing it more often, right?
Okay, maybe he hasn’t figured it out. Whew! I dodged that bullet…for now.
Lex: That’s not—
Tim: Look, it’s okay Lex. I’m not pissed at that shit anymore. I may not understand how the hell cutting yourself can actually help but I guess I understand that we all use different shit to cope with the fucked up lives we’ve been dealt. But don’t take that as me being any less concerned, though.
Lex: What do you have to be concerned about? It’s not like I’m slitting my wrists or anything. And I’m only cutting places where no one can visibly see the marks, because aside from you, I don’t want anyone to know about this shit.
He nods again, understanding my reason for wanting to keep this bit of information about myself on the DL. Sadly, for me, I think others have slowly started to find out.
Tim: You might not be slitting your wrists right now, but who is to say that it won’t lead to that eventually? I’m not stupid, Lex. I’m not going to stand around and let you kill yourself, either.
I immediately shake my head.
Lex: Whoa, whoa, whoa…That’s NEVER going to happen, so don’t even go there, alright? I may cut myself to deal with all the bullshit in my life, but I don’t want to kill myself. Damn, Tim!
Tim: Well…you might not want to, but it could—
I hold up a hand silencing him before he can finish. Just as I am about to speak again, however, my phone again starts ringing in my pocket. Like a few minutes ago, I take my phone out of my pocket, seeing it’s the same number calling, and I again hit the ignore button, sending the call to voicemail. I turn my attention back to Tim.
Lex: Can we just not talk about this anymore? It’s getting kinda morbid and I’m sure no matter what I say will make you believe that it won’t lead to that so let’s just drop it. I’m fine, and I don’t hate my life enough to want to end it, and I’m not going to be stupid enough to accidentally do that either. Now, can we just finish eating so we can meet up with the others?
Tim takes a minute to think about what I’ve just said. I can tell he wants to argue, but I give him a look that says not to and he just shrugs, before leaning forward in his seat again.
Tim: Alright, fine. But just know that anytime, and I mean anytime you need to talk or vent or whatever, you know you can talk to me.
I nod as I grab my fork.
Lex: I know, Tim. I know.
We both go silent again as we work on finishing our food, or at least I try to anyway, but the taste is just so off-putting I can barely stomach it. In the end, I end up shoving the plate away and just finishing off my drink while Tim finishes his food so we can go meet up with the others.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shooting The Bitch Down…Again
~*~ON CAMERA~*~
So this is it, huh? This is that all important first title defense that everyone at some point or another has experienced. Well, anyone who has ever won a title anyway. But regardless of that, everyone knows that the first title defense is the most important, because it will ultimately show what type of champion you are.
Are you a transitional champion? Just some bitch who got lucky and now has their name down on paper as having been the champion at least once? Or are you a true champion, capable of defending said title, proving your win wasn’t just some fluke?
Most people would be nervous...maybe even a little bit scared of such an important match, right? The thought of losing the title you just won on the first defense can be maddening, I hear. Too bad that’s not the case for me. I’m not the least bit worried about losing to my first opponent, because everyone already knows I can beat her. I did it at High Stakes V, and I’ll do it again.
I don’t know how Roxi Johnson went through this for as long as she did, but just the thought of facing Amy Marshall a second time is fuckin’ angering. It makes me sick. I mean, why? Why the fuck are they giving her another title shot, and making my first defense be against the likes of HER?!?!
Amy, how the fuck are you doing it? How the fuck are you getting title shot after title shot when you just can’t keep a title for shit?! All I can think of is that you’re doing what you do best, and that’s getting on your knees sucking dick, but I’m pretty sure that can’t be it, because the only one who could have possibly made this match was Christian Underwood and we all know he prefers other guys to do the personal favors. Mark Ward wouldn’t be stupid enough to keep giving title shots to someone who doesn’t deserve them. And you know you don’t deserve them, Amy.
So apparently this is supposed to be your one-on-one rematch you were entitled to all along? Tell me why the fuck you’re entitled to a one-on-one match now after I pinned your ass at High Stakes V?! You said yourself that if anyone should have gotten this rematch it should have been Lucy, not you. I just don’t get it.
I’m gonna level with you here, Amy. I’m going to be completely honest and admit something I normally wouldn’t admit to anyone else…this whole week…this entire fuckin’ week, I was honestly considering letting you beat me this Sunday. I’d just hand you back the title that you’ve won and lost twice already. Like I told Tim, someone thinks you deserve it so why not just pass the buck off to you, right? Not one person thinks I deserve it so why should I give a fuck, right?
But then I got to thinking how fucking stupid that would be, because the same old routine would just start all over again. You’d win the title. Well…I’d GIVE you the title in this case, where as in your last matches you just got fuckin’ lucky with each win…and then on your first title defense, BAM! You’d lose. And then you’d get yet another re-match again and again. it’s all repetitive bullshit that I came to realize just HAS to stop. At least where the Internet Championship is concerned. I’d say you should just go after the Roulette title, but let’s face it, I doubt you’d beat Melanie Gabrielle either. Bitch is sort of on a roll just like Mikah, so you wouldn’t stand a chance there either.
You know what you have to do, right Amy? I’m sure the thought has hit you at some point recently. Forget being in any title picture, Amy, because everyone knows you’re no kind of champion. I’d apologize for repeating myself all the fuckin’ time, but what else is there to say against you that hasn’t already been said, right? Go back to porn. Worry about blowing that ugly ass boyfriend of yours. I really don’t fuckin’ care what you do, as long as you stay the fuck away from me and this Internet title. I promise you Amy, this Sunday will be the CLOSEST you ever come again to the Internet title, because I’ll make damn sure you don’t get another shot after this.
Your days of being looked up to in SCW are over, Amy. I don’t even understand how anyone ever looked up to you in the first place, but I’m going to make sure it’s put to an end. You’re going to be looked at for what you really are. A fuckin’ joke. A worthless has been that could never really hack it in this business in the first place. Everything you ever accomplished in this place will be worthless, Amy. Just…like…you.
The truth hurts like a bitch, Amy. I’ll have a band-aid waiting for ya.
See ya Sunday, bitch.
