(Cameo by Christian was okayed by Chris)
It has been an eventful fortnight for Jessie Salco and not in a good way, her long-time idol Steve Ramone turned his back on NXT and Jessie by hitting his Fearless Shot finisher on Jessie’s fiancé Shane after verbally running down his now former teammates including a cheap shot at the amnesic veteran Misty.
Steve has now been suspended indefinitely for his actions but despite promises that they haven’t seen the last of him Jessie now had other things in mind heading into the next Blaze of Glory Supercard where she was taking on the deranged Bombshell known as Twisted Sister who, despite losing her debut match, lost it by disqualification due to the fact that she attacked her opponent with a blowtorch, can Jessie defeat the deranged Bombshell without getting burned?
Jessie’s hotel room, Copenhagen, Denmark
February 24th 2015, 11:00am
It’s been a while since I did a promo from a hotel room, hasn’t it?
Then again at least it’s kinda justified this time, Shane has recovered from Steve’s attack two weeks ago but he doesn’t feel like going anywhere and I can’t really blame him so we’re staying put as well, besides if there’s anything that can take our minds off of the situation with Steve there’s two things, Jake conquering the world in Total War: Attila and Bloodstock announcing Lawnmower Deth, OAF, Etheral, Saille and some comedy duo for the Sophie Stage.
Bloodstock did announce those bands and as for Jake’s conquering the world tendencies?
“Oh son of a bitch!” Jake grunted as the turn progressed on Total War: Attila. “Not again!”
“Who rebelled against you this time?” I asked as I approached the desktop PC, he was playing as the Sassanid Persians who, as any Roman History Buff will tell you, were the first major thorn in the side of the Romans to capture and kill an emperor, namely Valerian, by way of pouring molten gold down their throat, they would later get annihilated by the Byzantine Empire before being finished off by the Arabs but that’s a few hundred years down the line from Attila’s starting point.
“The former Roman Colony on Rhoades, that’s what.” Jake sighed as his turn began. “Problem is that my main forces are down here in Africa finishing off the Roman Africans and adding more territory to the empire, there’s basically no way I can get my forces to Rhoades before they get a sizable army.”
“Why not write them off like the Romans did with Scotland and other areas like it back in the day?” I suggested as I leaned forward, his initial strategy was simple, drive Rome out of Asia and take Constantinople whilst striking a military alliance with either the Huns or the Goths, he’s done all that and more and now he’s trying to keep his lands. “I mean, how many times have they rebelled since you conquered Rhoades?”
“That depends, how many times has he cussed out the AI?” Shane asked as he joined us, he was serving as Jake’s assistant on the game and they made for a kickass team though he had taken a brief break in order to get a drink. “Because at last count he cussed almost as much as you do when you play Pokémon Omega Ruby.”
“Not my fault that the fact that Pokémon can break out of the Pokeball after the third shake is bullshit.” I responded as I rolled my eyes but before Shane could respond there was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it, besides Jake needs to get his war co-ordinator up to speed.” I added and Shane nodded before stepping aside to let me pass, I answered the door and was surprised by who I saw. “Hi Christian.”
“How’s Shane holding up?” Christian asked as I stepped aside to let him in. “I know from your seg at the last show that he had to have some dental work done.”
“Well my mouth is no longer numb but I’m in no hurry to take another Superkick.” Shane responded as he turned to Christian. “I have no idea how you, Jessie and the other wrestlers can take moves like that.”
“And now you know why training at a school can take a year.” I responded as I shook my head before turning to Christian. “Not that I don’t appreciate the company Christian but couldn’t you have done this via e-mail?”
“I felt like a bit of exercise.” Christian shrugged before turning to me. “Are you ready for the match against Twisted Sister?”
“What kind of question is that?” I asked with a scoff. “She may have lost her debut against Jenna by DQ because she used a blowtorch but I’ve been in this company a lot longer than Jenna has and I won’t be caught off guard like Jenna was.”
“Vixen was caught off guard by Parand Ara after you beat her in her debut match.” Jake responded and I frowned remembering that bitch well. “And she’s been wrestling a lot longer than you have.”
“First off, that was an unprovoked backstage attack, this is a wrestling match.” I responded as I folded my arms. “Second, Parand was just an extremist, not to the extent of ISIS obviously but still an extremist, Twisted Sister on the other hand is just crazy!”
“Well, I’d love to stay and chat but I have some work to do back at the office.” Christian said as he went to walk off. “Don’t worry about Steve, this show’s been sold out for months, I don’t think he’ll be at the show somehow.”
“I’ve been to enough metal shows to know that even a sold out show has a few tickets lying about, they usually fall into the hands of scalpers though.” I responded as I turned to him. “Besides, I doubt the suspension will hurt him too badly financially speaking.”
“Let me guess, he told you that he has a ton of money saved up from his GWA days?” Christian asked and I nodded in response. “He’s smart with his money, I’ll give him that much, but if he was really smart he wouldn’t have Superkicked Shane.”
“Thanks for the reminder.” Shane grunted as he rubbed his chin and Christian left. “Has Christian ever done that before? Go out of his way to check up on a wrestler’s boyfriend/girlfriend?”
“I don’t think he has, then again you’re probably the first one who got attacked by another wrestler.” I added as I folded my arms and walked up to them. “Besides, we all saw the seg that followed Steve’s match against Travis Nathaniel Andrews and he did say that the only reason Steve wasn’t looking for another company to wrestle for was the fact that you guys aren’t technically employed by SCW despite Jake’s manager license.”
“And that’s basically because I’m technically your employee.” Jake responded before turning back to the game. “Anyway, I think you have a promo to do.”
“Yeah I know, it just feels kinda weird doing one from a hotel room after nearly two years of avoiding it.” I responded before remembering something, namely the fact that the room had a balcony with a pretty sweet view of the city. “If you guys want me I’ll be doing my promo from the balcony.”
“Okay then.” Jake shrugged as he continued to play the game and I led the crew to the balcony, it was small but just big enough to fit more than three adults on it as we discovered yesterday, well anyway it was time I started my promo.
“Too say that it’s been an eventful few weeks for me would be an understatement.” I said as I leaned against the balcony. “First my useless tag team partner gets my team knocked out of the first round of this year’s Blast from the Past Tournament and he now has a tag title shot for some reason! Then Steve turns his back on me and NXT and caps off a shitty couple of weeks by attacking my fiancé! In two weeks’ time I hope to put an end to my recent rotten luck by being the first Bombshell to defeat Twisted Sister cleanly!”
This will be fun!
“Yes, you read the preview for this match correctly, I demanded this match! Why? Simple, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know Jenna Aser that well, I’ve seen her around the SCW locker room before sure and despite being related to a guy with more ex-girlfriends than common sense she seems nice enough, in spite of that I hate seeing my fellow Bombshells get hurt and that’s exactly what happened when Jenna faced Twisted Sister in her debut match and I’m here to make Twister Sister pay.”
But let me set the record straight first.
“Just so we’re clear, when I demanded this match Twisted Sister’s debut match hadn’t even been booked yet, all I saw off her was that she was a metalhead with ugly hair named after a shitty eighties band using a song by said eighties band as her theme, I demanded the match because I thought that it would be fun to have a battle of the metalheads, the match against Jenna just gave me another reason to kick her ass!”
And trust me, I will.
“Twisted, do you know what happened to the last Bombshell who attacked another violently on the night of her debut? Her name was Parand Ara and she attacked Vixen after I beat her in her debut match, my point is that after she got her ass kicked by Vixen I ended her career in a rematch, unintentionally mind you but my point still stands, I can’t stand anyone who attacks another Bombshell viciously for no reason and you’re no different!”
This won’t take long.
“So how do I plan to avoid Jenna’s fate? That’s easy, I won’t give you a chance to use a blowtorch or any other kind of weapon against me, eventually I’ll leave you with no choice but to try to fight fair and that will lead to your downfall, I may be young but I’ve been in SCW for two years now and I’ve seen plenty of Bombshells come and go, some even returned for another go, and you will be the latest one to go only it’ll me that shows you the door!”
And with that I decided to wrap things up.
“SCW’s Bombshell Division is supposed to be the best women’s division on the planet and despite the idiots in the Mean Girls working to ruin that image that fact is still true, yeah we use weapons but we save them for when the stipulations of the match we’re competing in call for them, apparently Twisted Sister didn’t get that memo because she attacked Jenna Aser with a fucking blowtorch in her debut match, how she hasn’t been suspended I don’t know and whilst I know that Christian wasn’t behind her hiring I’m confident that he’ll eventually be behind her firing! This is SCW’s Heavy Metal Bombshell Jessie Salco signing off, Twisted there’s a part of me hopes that you can fight fairly but the other part couldn’t care less!”
I returned to the hotel room as the scene fades.
